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[Narrator] Previously on Ezra.
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00:00:04,206 --> 00:00:05,306
There's Ian.
3
00:00:05,310 --> 00:00:06,520
You are so in love with him.
4
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I am not.
5
00:00:07,827 --> 00:00:09,657
Wow, did you go
to McDonald's today?
6
00:00:09,655 --> 00:00:10,965
No.
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00:00:10,965 --> 00:00:13,135
Weird, I saw you
eating out, lesbo.
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00:00:13,137 --> 00:00:14,547
Is she always that aggressive,
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00:00:14,551 --> 00:00:16,791
or does Halloween
bring it out of her?
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00:00:16,793 --> 00:00:17,863
Sadly, always.
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00:00:19,310 --> 00:00:20,620
Hope to see you around.
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00:00:20,620 --> 00:00:21,830
Happy Halloween.
13
00:00:21,827 --> 00:00:23,097
Then I met my
best friend, Gwen,
14
00:00:23,103 --> 00:00:26,833
and this guy, Ian,
who's just amazing,
15
00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:30,310
but he just brought
me to a Halloween,
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00:00:30,310 --> 00:00:31,900
vampire themed photo
op where he almost
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00:00:31,896 --> 00:00:33,856
just pissed himself like
a pre-pubescent boy.
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00:00:33,862 --> 00:00:35,972
If love is true, it
will always be real,
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00:00:35,965 --> 00:00:38,305
and nothing supernatural
or not can destroy that.
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00:00:40,586 --> 00:00:43,616
[distant whispering]
21
00:00:48,689 --> 00:00:51,309
[ominous music]
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00:01:03,689 --> 00:01:05,689
Are you moving it?
23
00:01:05,689 --> 00:01:06,519
Yeah.
24
00:01:06,517 --> 00:01:07,447
[sighs]
25
00:01:07,448 --> 00:01:08,378
Is this stuff even real?
26
00:01:08,379 --> 00:01:09,519
Like, are there really ghosts?
27
00:01:12,344 --> 00:01:14,384
Bitch, you're literally
a mythological creature.
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00:01:14,379 --> 00:01:15,549
You don't know?
29
00:01:15,551 --> 00:01:16,831
Bitch, I don't
fucking know everything.
30
00:01:16,827 --> 00:01:18,277
I don't know.
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00:01:18,275 --> 00:01:20,375
Sometimes I feel like
there has to be more than,
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00:01:20,379 --> 00:01:21,719
than this.
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00:01:21,724 --> 00:01:23,214
Like the other day
I was reading up
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on Filipino folklore which
I didn't know existed,
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and I was like, holy shit.
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00:01:29,275 --> 00:01:32,025
The stories they told were
literal coping mechanisms,
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00:01:32,034 --> 00:01:34,834
the monsters, the aswang,
et cetera, et cetera,
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00:01:34,827 --> 00:01:35,927
during colonial times.
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00:01:37,551 --> 00:01:39,211
And then it dawned on me.
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This is how my people
dealt with literally
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losing their entire culture.
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00:01:48,689 --> 00:01:51,239
But, this was
pre-colonial times.
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00:01:51,241 --> 00:01:54,101
So maybe there's an
entire spirit world
44
00:01:54,103 --> 00:01:55,413
that I don't even have access to
45
00:01:55,413 --> 00:01:57,523
because of generations
of emotional trauma.
46
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Ugh, is this naturally
fermented, 'cause,
47
00:02:08,655 --> 00:02:10,475
it tastes kinda funky.
48
00:02:12,172 --> 00:02:14,072
I literally have no idea.
49
00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:20,340
[glasses clink]
50
00:02:20,344 --> 00:02:22,934
[upbeat music]
51
00:02:24,137 --> 00:02:26,757
♪ Me and my girls,
yeah, call us a coven ♪
52
00:02:26,758 --> 00:02:28,928
♪ When it comes to lovin'
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00:02:28,931 --> 00:02:30,661
♪ They got my back
when I go on trusting ♪
54
00:02:30,655 --> 00:02:32,925
♪ Boys, like you
55
00:02:32,931 --> 00:02:35,311
♪ You're gone and buried
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00:02:35,310 --> 00:02:37,790
♪ The cemetery
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♪ Boy, ain't it scary
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♪ R.I.P, you're dead to me
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00:02:42,137 --> 00:02:44,237
♪ You're gone and buried
60
00:02:44,241 --> 00:02:46,621
♪ I hope you're ready
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00:02:46,620 --> 00:02:48,070
♪ Boy, ain't it scary
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00:02:48,068 --> 00:02:50,168
♪ R.I.P, you're dead to me
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00:02:50,172 --> 00:02:55,102
♪ Cross my broken
heart, I hope you die ♪
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00:02:56,068 --> 00:02:58,788
♪ Die
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00:02:58,793 --> 00:03:03,723
♪ Cross my broken
heart, I hope you die ♪
66
00:03:04,862 --> 00:03:05,832
♪ Die
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00:03:05,827 --> 00:03:09,337
♪ R.I.P, you're dead to me
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00:03:11,206 --> 00:03:13,996
Why are humans, people,
just so complicated?
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00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:15,310
Like why is there so
many schools of thought?
70
00:03:15,310 --> 00:03:17,000
It's just, try not being dumb.
71
00:03:18,172 --> 00:03:20,282
Right, uh, anyway,
72
00:03:21,689 --> 00:03:25,209
I was wondering if you wanted
to have dinner tonight?
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00:03:25,206 --> 00:03:26,686
Yeah, that'd be really nice.
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00:03:27,965 --> 00:03:29,305
With my parents.
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[coughing]
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00:03:30,517 --> 00:03:31,717
Parents, with my
fucking parents?
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00:03:31,724 --> 00:03:32,904
Who the hell says that,
I mean, and a libra-
78
00:03:32,896 --> 00:03:34,166
What is your issue?
79
00:03:34,172 --> 00:03:35,592
Your psych degree
didn't teach you
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00:03:35,586 --> 00:03:36,826
to deal with your anxious
attachment problem?
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00:03:36,827 --> 00:03:38,027
Actually, I'm
anxious avoidant,
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00:03:38,034 --> 00:03:39,344
so it'd be better for
me, to anxiously avoid.
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00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:40,834
Wow, you've left
your satanic cult,
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00:03:40,827 --> 00:03:42,137
just to be a little bitch.
85
00:03:42,137 --> 00:03:42,967
Cool!
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00:03:42,965 --> 00:03:44,135
I am being cautious.
87
00:03:44,137 --> 00:03:45,547
And being chaotic,
I don't know.
88
00:03:45,551 --> 00:03:48,621
There are rules, strict
vampiric rules that-
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00:03:48,620 --> 00:03:50,140
Move.
90
00:03:50,137 --> 00:03:52,827
Strict vampiric rules, that
go back hundreds of years.
91
00:03:52,827 --> 00:03:54,137
Oh, of course there are,
92
00:03:54,137 --> 00:03:55,377
oh, let me guess,
rule number one.
93
00:03:55,379 --> 00:03:56,999
Don't wear anything
other than black.
94
00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:58,480
Oh my god, yeah,
you're actually so-
95
00:03:58,482 --> 00:03:59,662
No!
96
00:03:59,655 --> 00:04:01,025
Rule number one, never court-
97
00:04:02,413 --> 00:04:03,553
With mortals.
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00:04:03,551 --> 00:04:04,761
Oh.
99
00:04:04,758 --> 00:04:06,928
Okay, well what
happens if, you know,
100
00:04:08,206 --> 00:04:09,716
that happens?
101
00:04:09,724 --> 00:04:12,074
Okay, well, nothing has
happened yet, thank you.
102
00:04:12,068 --> 00:04:14,898
And I'm just, I'm never
going back there, okay.
103
00:04:14,896 --> 00:04:16,616
I'm just confused or concerned
104
00:04:16,620 --> 00:04:18,830
on what happens if they
find out, then what happens?
105
00:04:18,827 --> 00:04:20,927
No one has found
out anything so far.
106
00:04:20,931 --> 00:04:22,551
And last I checked,
you disowned them.
107
00:04:22,551 --> 00:04:25,241
You came here for your
happiness, E, not theirs.
108
00:04:25,241 --> 00:04:27,931
So go out, have fun.
109
00:04:27,931 --> 00:04:28,861
Ian's a great guy.
110
00:04:30,379 --> 00:04:31,759
And don't fuck this up.
111
00:04:33,896 --> 00:04:35,406
Like what is this, drag race?
112
00:04:37,068 --> 00:04:37,898
Ezra!
113
00:04:39,103 --> 00:04:40,073
You're a genius.
114
00:04:40,068 --> 00:04:41,718
So, mister broccoli and I-
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00:04:41,724 --> 00:04:43,724
Sorry, Broc, and I,
116
00:04:43,724 --> 00:04:46,074
have been getting to
know one another, and-
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00:04:46,068 --> 00:04:47,588
[dreadful music]
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00:04:47,586 --> 00:04:49,896
Turns out we have
a ton in common.
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00:04:49,896 --> 00:04:53,066
He's really helped me
accept my inner child and-
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00:04:53,068 --> 00:04:56,068
[dialogue fades out]
121
00:04:59,241 --> 00:05:00,381
Oh my god!
122
00:05:00,379 --> 00:05:01,759
Congratulations!
123
00:05:01,758 --> 00:05:04,828
I am so happy for you two.
124
00:05:07,034 --> 00:05:10,974
Okay, well, I'm gonna
leave you guys to it.
125
00:05:10,965 --> 00:05:14,305
And have fun.
126
00:05:15,793 --> 00:05:18,343
[upbeat music]
127
00:05:31,689 --> 00:05:35,139
[indistinct dialogue]
128
00:05:35,137 --> 00:05:37,337
Oh, look at my lovely Ian!
129
00:05:37,344 --> 00:05:40,974
Look how cute you are!
- Here you go, honey.
130
00:05:40,965 --> 00:05:42,305
Thank you.
131
00:05:42,310 --> 00:05:44,480
Ezra, I've heard
so much about you!
132
00:05:44,482 --> 00:05:45,762
- Mhmmm.
- Chicken?
133
00:05:45,758 --> 00:05:47,518
He doesn't eat meat, mom.
134
00:05:47,517 --> 00:05:50,097
Ah, presbyterian, yeah.
135
00:05:51,482 --> 00:05:52,832
- There's the salad.
- The salad, yeah, no meat.
136
00:05:52,827 --> 00:05:54,517
Gil made it himself,
it's delicious.
137
00:05:54,517 --> 00:05:56,617
I did, mhmmm, got the
recipe off that show
138
00:05:56,620 --> 00:06:00,450
I've been watching, new
presbyterian cook off, yes.
139
00:06:00,448 --> 00:06:02,928
- Yes, oh yeah.
- Oh, absolutely.
140
00:06:02,931 --> 00:06:04,831
Oh, dig in.
141
00:06:04,827 --> 00:06:07,067
Hey, you good, you okay?
142
00:06:07,068 --> 00:06:10,338
Yeah, um, I'm just gonna
run to the bathroom, where?
143
00:06:10,344 --> 00:06:12,244
- [Mom] Oh, sure.
- [Dad] Oh, sure, yeah, yeah.
144
00:06:12,241 --> 00:06:13,101
[Mom] Yeah, it's just
right down the hall.
145
00:06:13,103 --> 00:06:14,523
Awesome, thank you.
146
00:06:14,517 --> 00:06:16,097
[Mom] Yeah.
147
00:06:16,103 --> 00:06:17,173
Yeah, okay.
148
00:06:17,172 --> 00:06:19,412
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
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00:06:19,413 --> 00:06:21,933
[tense music]
150
00:06:29,413 --> 00:06:30,343
There's no way.
151
00:06:32,862 --> 00:06:33,692
Fuck.
152
00:06:36,344 --> 00:06:38,174
Pick up the phone,
pick up the phone,
153
00:06:38,172 --> 00:06:39,382
pick up the phone,
pick up the phone,
154
00:06:39,379 --> 00:06:41,689
pick up the fucking phone.
155
00:06:41,689 --> 00:06:44,239
[phone buzzing]
156
00:06:44,241 --> 00:06:45,791
[sighs]
157
00:06:45,793 --> 00:06:47,413
Aren't you supposed to be
with Ian and his parents?
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00:06:47,413 --> 00:06:49,033
[Ezra] SOS, I
have to kill myself.
159
00:06:49,034 --> 00:06:51,524
Just relax, breathe,
you're so dramatic.
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00:06:51,517 --> 00:06:53,337
I'm out of blood.
161
00:06:53,344 --> 00:06:54,384
[Gwen] What?
162
00:06:54,379 --> 00:06:55,789
Bitch, I'm out of blood.
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00:06:55,793 --> 00:06:57,213
Okay, well can't you
just wait til you get home?
164
00:06:57,206 --> 00:06:59,336
No, if I don't
start drinking soon,
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00:06:59,344 --> 00:07:02,794
I will not be the flirty,
funny, sexy version of me.
166
00:07:02,793 --> 00:07:04,623
Okay, well, what do you
want me to do, kill someone?
167
00:07:04,620 --> 00:07:06,280
[Ezra] Gwen, I would
literally never ask you
168
00:07:06,275 --> 00:07:07,855
to do anything you
don't want to do.
169
00:07:07,862 --> 00:07:10,972
Ezra, I'm not going
to kill someone.
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00:07:10,965 --> 00:07:12,785
Why must I be subjected
to this torment,
171
00:07:12,793 --> 00:07:15,343
like literally what have
I done to deserve this?
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00:07:15,344 --> 00:07:16,764
Just, breathe.
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00:07:18,137 --> 00:07:19,097
I'll be there, ASAP.
174
00:07:22,586 --> 00:07:24,616
[sighs]
175
00:07:24,620 --> 00:07:26,410
Okay, okay, okay.
176
00:07:28,103 --> 00:07:32,033
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yep,
okay, everything is fine,
177
00:07:32,034 --> 00:07:35,594
everything is great, we
are looking dead as shit,
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00:07:35,586 --> 00:07:37,446
but that's great, okay.
179
00:07:40,655 --> 00:07:43,135
I am not live, laugh, loving.
180
00:07:43,137 --> 00:07:45,587
Yeah, okay, you're still
in the meeting, right, okay.
181
00:07:45,586 --> 00:07:46,856
- Yeah.
- Okay, all right.
182
00:07:46,862 --> 00:07:48,102
- You need-
- Just, you know, eat up.
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00:07:48,103 --> 00:07:49,313
Hey, welcome back!
184
00:07:49,310 --> 00:07:53,070
Oh, looking great,
look at that, amazing!
185
00:07:54,517 --> 00:07:57,717
So, Ezra, I heard you're
in the psychology program,
186
00:07:57,724 --> 00:07:59,524
at Woodcrest, what interests you
187
00:07:59,517 --> 00:08:01,277
in our teeny tiny little brains?
188
00:08:01,275 --> 00:08:03,025
[laughs]
189
00:08:03,034 --> 00:08:06,664
Um, I just like
the understanding of what makes us tick.
190
00:08:06,655 --> 00:08:08,685
Well, I think that's great.
191
00:08:08,689 --> 00:08:11,549
Lord only knows
people have issues.
192
00:08:11,551 --> 00:08:13,521
[laughs]
193
00:08:13,517 --> 00:08:15,657
Speaking of which, tequila?
194
00:08:15,655 --> 00:08:17,755
- Ooh, we love tequila here!
- [Ian] Oh, my god.
195
00:08:17,758 --> 00:08:19,618
We literally just
started dinner!
196
00:08:19,620 --> 00:08:20,970
I'll have one.
197
00:08:20,965 --> 00:08:23,615
[ominous music]
198
00:08:25,517 --> 00:08:26,827
Hey, need help with that?
199
00:08:29,241 --> 00:08:30,691
[singing]
200
00:08:30,689 --> 00:08:31,899
I don't think that
tiny little figure
201
00:08:31,896 --> 00:08:33,136
can handle all that meat.
202
00:08:34,655 --> 00:08:35,855
Maybe it can.
203
00:08:38,896 --> 00:08:41,306
[Mom] Come on,
you know the song!
204
00:08:41,310 --> 00:08:43,280
God, you are so right.
205
00:08:44,344 --> 00:08:46,414
I am so small and so tiny,
206
00:08:46,413 --> 00:08:49,033
would one of you
big strong men help?
207
00:08:50,896 --> 00:08:53,026
[singing]
208
00:08:53,034 --> 00:08:54,664
Maybe one of you should go
inside and tell my friend,
209
00:08:54,655 --> 00:08:56,685
she's also getting lots of meat,
210
00:08:56,689 --> 00:08:59,239
and I'd bet she'd give
anything for the help.
211
00:08:59,241 --> 00:09:01,211
[singing]
212
00:09:01,206 --> 00:09:02,926
How much meat can you handle?
213
00:09:02,931 --> 00:09:05,031
'Cause, I've got lots of it.
214
00:09:05,034 --> 00:09:06,724
Why don't you go
in and find out?
215
00:09:11,965 --> 00:09:14,755
[singing]
216
00:09:14,758 --> 00:09:15,928
[door slams]
217
00:09:15,931 --> 00:09:18,071
[cackles]
218
00:09:19,586 --> 00:09:22,586
So, Ezra, what
does your family do?
219
00:09:22,586 --> 00:09:23,896
Um, they're in a cult.
220
00:09:27,586 --> 00:09:31,616
I mean like, trapped by
their corporate jobs.
221
00:09:31,620 --> 00:09:32,790
- Oh!
- Yeah.
222
00:09:32,793 --> 00:09:34,553
- Yeah, right.
- Insurance, I mean,
223
00:09:34,551 --> 00:09:36,451
like they can't get out of it.
224
00:09:36,448 --> 00:09:39,478
I had a friend, named Bobby,
you remember Bobby, right?
225
00:09:39,482 --> 00:09:41,032
Oh, yeah, Bobby,
the little guy.
226
00:09:41,034 --> 00:09:43,624
Yeah, he's like, looks
kind of like a minion,
227
00:09:43,620 --> 00:09:45,690
but not as yellow, he
did have the overalls,
228
00:09:45,689 --> 00:09:46,689
same thing happened to him.
229
00:09:46,689 --> 00:09:47,859
[Mom] Yes, yes, yeah.
230
00:09:47,862 --> 00:09:51,072
Yeah, I just, we're
not, yeah, yeah.
231
00:09:51,068 --> 00:09:52,718
[phone buzzing]
232
00:09:52,724 --> 00:09:54,724
Sorry, give me one second.
233
00:09:54,724 --> 00:09:56,104
It's actually them, right now.
234
00:09:56,103 --> 00:09:57,763
Sorry, I'll be right back.
235
00:09:57,758 --> 00:09:59,928
[Mom] Yes, yes,
yes, go, go, go!
236
00:09:59,931 --> 00:10:01,481
[Dad] Oh, what
wonderful parents.
237
00:10:01,482 --> 00:10:03,792
[Mom] I love that he picks
up his parents' phone calls.
238
00:10:03,793 --> 00:10:04,623
Come on.
239
00:10:11,068 --> 00:10:13,238
You found this at the store?
240
00:10:13,241 --> 00:10:14,481
Him and his friend
were brave enough
241
00:10:14,482 --> 00:10:15,762
to start bragging
about their meat,
242
00:10:15,758 --> 00:10:17,548
so I thought why not
let them be meat?
243
00:10:19,413 --> 00:10:20,723
I stand by my decision.
244
00:10:22,241 --> 00:10:23,101
I'll take a sec.
245
00:10:26,586 --> 00:10:28,856
[growling]
246
00:10:34,862 --> 00:10:37,692
It's been like,
literally five minutes.
247
00:10:37,689 --> 00:10:39,279
They love you.
248
00:10:39,275 --> 00:10:40,065
What?
249
00:10:41,758 --> 00:10:43,898
I'm so glad we did this.
250
00:10:45,758 --> 00:10:46,548
Me too.
251
00:10:51,724 --> 00:10:54,244
[spooky music]
252
00:11:04,793 --> 00:11:05,623
Mmm.
253
00:11:14,965 --> 00:11:16,445
[knocking at door]
254
00:11:16,448 --> 00:11:17,278
Did you hear?
255
00:11:18,379 --> 00:11:21,339
We found your
little cousin, Ezra.
256
00:11:22,482 --> 00:11:23,972
He fled to the mortal world.
257
00:11:25,793 --> 00:11:27,103
What?
258
00:11:27,103 --> 00:11:29,663
Oh, yeah, and I heard
through the blood vein,
259
00:11:29,655 --> 00:11:32,445
that he's in cahoots
with a human?
260
00:11:33,758 --> 00:11:35,618
So embarrassing.
261
00:11:38,689 --> 00:11:39,479
Find him.
262
00:11:46,965 --> 00:11:49,615
[upbeat music]
263
00:11:49,665 --> 00:11:54,215
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