Original subtitles

Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull

Sleepin' already?

Someone must've worn me out.

That looks good on you.

It's so fancy.

What do you think we can get for it?

I wanna keep it.

Hey, Marie, stay inside.

Everett?

Did we drink all the beer?

Everett?

Everett.

Hello?

Shit, shit, shit.

Hey, hey. We have to go right now, okay?

Come on.

It found me.

It's inside me.

No!

No!

No!

Oh, yeah. Yeah, this is perfect.

See, this is exactly the kinda place

I was talkin' about, guys.

It's a shame Dennis isn't here.

He'd love to see this.

Knowin' the popular culture behind Bigfoot

is a great way to learn more about him.

In fact, with any kind of cryptid-

- We just need that lighter fluid, Oz.

Hello.

Hey, hi. Could you turn that down for a quick sec?

Hello? Yeah, hey.

Yeah, sorry. I saw you called.

Did you try... Yeah, yeah.

No, did you try the zip file?

Yeah, no problem. Happy to help.

Okay, bye. Bye bye.

Your work know you're going off the grid this weekend?

Oh, well, Isabelle said there'd be

service at the cabin, so...

Oh.

Shoot.

Well, uh, maybe this is a good thing, right?

Give my boss a chance to Google something for a change.

Where is everybody?

Pit stop.

So what class is this for anyway?

It's called cryptozoology.

We study mythical folklore animals.

Wow.

What's your major?

Photojournalism.

Oh.

Huh.

We're all just trying to finish up our masters.

Everyone said this class was an easy A, so...

Oz in there is our TA.

He'll give you an earful, if you want it.

Good to know.

So, uh, you and Isabelle, huh?

Yeah.

You know, we've only known each other two months, but,

I don't know.

She's cool, but uh...

A nice guy like you?

Honestly, she'll chew you up and spit you out.

Well, um, I haven't exactly gotten chewed up yet, so...

We're probably good, right?

Pretty slow today, huh?

Always is in the Dead Month.

Every year around this time, people go missing.

Explains why the cabin was so cheap.

What do they just get like lost in the woods or something?

Well, no one knows for sure what happens, but uh,

there is a theory.

- Oh, god. - Yeah.

I thought you told us that Bigfoot is harmless?

Well, no, he is, he is. I said it's a theory.

It just happens to be a bad one.

Tell you what, I'll be right back.

Let me try to call Professor Kasdan again, yeah?

Awesome.

Our buddy here thinks we're gonna

run into Mr. Sasquatch this weekend.

You ever see anything?

That beast you're lookin' for.

It's out there.

There's an unspeakable evil livin' out in those woods there.

And you better hope it doesn't sense your presence,

because if it knows you're there,

they'll be coming for ya.

Okay, then.

What's the damage?

$52.

75 cents.

Yeesh.

Hey, keep the change.

Dead Month and everything.

Safe journeys.

Hey, are you sure it's okay that I'm here?

I didn't realize I'd be the only non-student tagging along.

Oh, yeah. No, trust me.

Professor Kasdan is like thrilled

to have another person forced to listen to him.

Just, you know, relax.

Try to have fun.

You didn't wanna wear your khakis?

Oh!

No, I, I love them.

Now?

Yeah, I mean, I got them for you to wear.

Right.

Right, yeah.

I mean, I'm not sure they're exactly meant for hiking.

But uh, I'll give it a shot.

Yeah?

Okay.

- Oh, I have to pee. - Oh.

Sorry, babe.

You're in for quite a treat this weekend

as we delve into our new area of study.

In the last 20 years, there've been over

two dozen sightings in the area.

Today is about exploring the territory!

Finding clues, evidence!

And that could be tree markings, that could be footprints.

That could be feces.

Anything that sheds light on the existence of Bigfoot!

Hey.

How did the snowman feel when he got the flu?

Abominable.

Hey, you know we should probably catch up with the others.

Oh, yeah. Totally.

My little explorers, keep your eyes peeled,

and you might wind up in tomorrow's headlines.

Back in 1811-

- Hey, guys!

I think I'm gonna stick around

and watch this black-capped Chickadee.

Anyone wanna join?

You know what? We'll just, we'll wind back around.

Oh, yeah.

Cool beans.

Explorers say that Bigfoot often throws rocks

at trespassers, as a warning.

It's so refreshing to be with someone

who actually listens for once.

I mean, Chris is literally the opposite of Dan.

He's such a douche bag.

I mean, you like him, right?

You mean the human dad joke back there?

Maybe that's what I need, though. Someone uncomplicated.

Simple.

Hey, guys.

Let's turn here.

Shouldn't we stay on the trail?

I doubt Bigfoot does trails.

Bigfoot doesn't do trails.

Hello.

Are you a tourist?

Camera give it away?

What're you lookin' at?

That is a mark of a goddamn beast.

Bigfoot?

What the fuck else?

Hey, do you mind if I get a picture of you?

Where are y'all staying?

A cabin.

Where at?

The woods.

You know, you oughta watch yourself.

Skinny little girl off the trail.

All alone.

It's lookin' like prime bait, if you ask me.

Especially in Dead Month.

Well, hey. This has been great but I'm gonna head off.

Oh, hey.

If you see Squatch, tell him "hi" from me.

Aw, damn it.

Oh, whatever did this is huge.

It's Bigfoot.

What're you gonna do, taste it?

Jeez!

Fuck me.

We gotta report this. There was service near that shop.

Look, let's just take a second here.

Oz, there's a fucking dead body.

No, skeleton, all right?

It takes eight to twelve years for a body to decompose.

Great tip. You should be a doctor.

All right, let's go.

Guys, guys! There's no rush to report this.

I mean, whoever this was,

they've been missing for a very long time.

What's a few more days?

Oz, I know you have a huge hard-on for Bigfoot

and everything, but we didn't sign up to fucking obstruct

a missing persons case.

Is this ideal? No.

But Dennis and I have been waiting

all semester for this trip.

I say we stay the weekend.

All right, so, you prefer to go back

and listen to more lectures instead?

Trust me, I have a lot to say on this topic,

and without this hands-on experience,

I'm gonna need twice the amount of essays from you guys

to make sure you know your stuff.

We report this the second we leave.

The moment the trip is over, yes.

Okay, yeah. Fine.

It probably goes without saying, but,

we shouldn't mention this to the others.

Don't wanna stir up a panic over nothing', right?

And uh, we can't tell Dennis.

Yeah, I mean, god forbid the loonie professor

with the not-so-secret alcoholism gets in trouble.

I'm serious. The less he knows, the better.

Hey.

Quite the view.

Yeah.

I thought I saw something in the woods.

It could've been a deer or a moose or-

- Or...

Something else.

I think it's time we head back.

All right.

So he spit on me,

and he was trying to ask me where we were staying at.

- Did you tell him? - Fuck no, I just left.

There's gotta be matches around here somewhere.

Whoa. Jake, check this out.

Whoa, buddy. Put that back.

Oh, all right. Okay.

Oh, hey.

Found 'em.

Let's get this fire started, huh?

Oh, man.

You know, it's really interesting.

Babe, I was just telling you about this the other day.

Do you remember? Do you remember what I said?

Okay, well, so, correct me if I'm wrong,

but most people think that Canadian beer is much stronger

than American beer, right?

But that's actually false, so, in Canadia

they use the alcohol-by-volume method,

but in America, we used to use the alcohol-by-weight method.

So, just a cool little tidbit for you guys.

God, I can't do shit without the internet.

Can I have your keys? I have to make a work call.

You hurt her...

I swear to god.

Oh, babe, I'll come with you.

No, it's okay.

It's just a work call, so it's gonna be like super boring.

So why don't you just stay and get to know everyone,

and I'll back.

- Sorry, babe. - Yeah, okay.

Coolio.

I'm gonna go shower.

Oh, sure. Get clean.

Yeah, I'm gonna hit the sack.

Hey, Professor, are you not weary that

not one of these guys believe in anything that we say?

As long as we're able to dismantle people's basic inherent

fear of the unknown, even if it's something as fantastical

as Bigfoot, or any other cryptid for that matter.

You know, it just means the world to us, as humans.

Hey, cheers to that, right?

Hey, um, I know we talked about this earlier, but,

are you at all worried about the possibility of, you know,

other sightings?

I mean, what if there is something dangerous out there?

You know, maybe, maybe a little danger is exactly

what's needed for us to question everything.

Enough with all that. So, how's that thesis of yours goin'?

Oh! Oh, hey, it's comin'.

I hit a little lag last week

because it was my girlfriend's birthday.

Yeah.

Listen, Dennis.

I should let you know that, um,

on our hike earlier, we found-

- I, I gotta go. I'm sorry.

Excuse me.

Oh.

Okay.

- Isabelle. - Oh, my god.

Professor Kasdan, you scared me.

I'm so sorry.

Listen, uh, do you mind if I come with you?

'Cause something unfortunate has come up.

Yeah, what happened?

Well, as it turns out, it's my wedding anniversary,

and no wonder my wife was short with me before we left.

I gotta call her.

Yeah.

Sure.

Yeah. No, just um, hop in.

Thanks.

All right.

Maybe some reading.

Hmm.

What's this?

Huh.

"Forest Unseen."

Wow.

Creepy.

"The darkness of the night brings out

the evil that is the wendigo.

But night's end brings the dawn

and with the dawn comes the light."

Lilly, I need to go!

Give me a minute, man!

Come on! I gotta go pee!

I swear to god, I'm a quiet pee'er! Let me in.

Jake, you even try,

you'll be walking out with a concussion.

Come on.

Fuck off!

Okay.

Jake, what did I tell you, man?

Yeah, I know I suppose I concentrate on my studies

a bit too much, but you know, my wife has absolutely no idea

the concept of budget cuts.

I'm the only one supporting us.

Financially, that is.

Have we hit service?

Who is that?

Who?

That.

So weird.

I thought I saw something.

Isabelle.

Are you all right, Isabelle?

Are you all right?

Professor?

Oh, shit.

Okay, I'm just gonna pee outside.

Yeah, all right.

Here we go.

What...

Yeah.

That's why it's here.

Okay.

Um...

Okay.

Um...

Okay?

Oh, my god.

Oh! Hey there, tourist.

You oughta watch them showers. They'll get ya.

Oh!

Hey!

Ain't had one of these in years.

They'll kill ya.

You ever hear anyone die before?

I have.

Every fuckin' night I still hear those screams.

Yeah, like skin's gettin' ripped off her bones.

You don't forget shit like that.

What's that?

If I offended you...

It ain't about that at all!

Look, you already got your free fucking peep show!

Hey, come on now!

It ain't about that either, okay?

You got your god damn shirt back on, don't ya?

Hm?

No, you are just my bait, little lady.

Nothin' personal.

It's Bigfoot, he's out in these woods.

Now, you can doubt him all you want.

He don't give two shits whether you believe in him.

You can rest assured on that.

I can tell you're not a bad guy.

No.

No, you're goin' for somethin' heavy.

I get that, I really do.

Whatever you're planning on doing to me,

things are gonna be bad for you!

Your fingerprints are all over my clothes.

Mine are in this truck, I mean,

my DNA's on the fuckin' cigarette!

Yeah, I'mma kill him.

Get that fuckin' rock, too.

That's all there is to it.

Now.

If you die in the process, well...

Shit, so be it. Why don't you hang onto that DNA for us?

Izzy, where you been?

Izzy?

Are you okay?

Hey, you guys seen Dennis?

I realized we gotta change somethin' in the schedule.

Izzy, are you okay?

Look at me.

Where is my car?

I don't remember.

Isabelle, dear, what happened? What's goin' on?

- I don't remember. - Okay, what do you remember?

Just, just calm down. Just, just...

Isabelle, look at me, sweetie. Where's Dennis?

He's...

He's dead.

I'm really, I'm really hungry.

Jake, where are the others?

I don't fucking know.

Lilly!

Chris!

Dennis!

Hello!

- Guys, where are you? - Why would they answer that?

Shit.

Oh, no.

Help!

Help!

Help!

One, two, three.

Go, go.

Shit.

I saw him.

I saw him.

I saw him.

Told you.

Guys, this is all my fault.

I knew it was the Dead Month

and I still insisted that we come here.

Did you guys bring any other way of communication?

We actually thought it'd be a good thing

not to have service.

Less distractions for everyone.

God, I'm such an idiot!

Okay, okay.

Where's the gun?

Oh, I must've dropped it,

while I was getting dragged through the woods.

All right, all right. Let's just think, all right?

So, the shop was the last place that we had service, right?

- Now how far was that? - About an hour's drive.

And if they had such a bad accident that Isabelle left

my car there, then I doubt it's still fuckin' drivable.

Okay, we can walk until we hit service.

What?

That's a terrible idea. That thing almost killed me.

Trust me, Chris. If it wanted to kill you, you'd be dead.

- It was trying to warn you. - Warn me? About what?

Spirit of the flesh.

What'd she say?

Wait.

Wait, you guys.

I found this book.

It talks about all kinds of crazy shit like creatures.

Right.

- Bigfoot. - No.

The wendigo.

It's this creature that-

- Cannibalistic beast that preys on the selfish.

- Yeah. - Yeah, I know.

"The wendigo turns those overcome with greed

into the embodiment of their weak morals."

That's the spirit.

It's what gets in your head.

And that's what you become once the spirit finds you.

He knew.

I brought up the wendigo sightings to Dennis,

before we even started planning this trip.

He told me the claims were phony, but,

he was more worried about losing his department.

He knew the wendigo was out there this entire time.

God damn it!

All right, listen. We need to get the hell outta here.

- Right now. - Wait, hold on.

You're telling me that Bigfoot

isn't the only monster out there?

Yes, and it's pure evil.

The torment it inflicts on those its chooses

is beyond anything you can imagine, and if it finds us...

We're better off dead.

Isabelle?

It knows we're here.

They're coming.

Tree.

Turn around.

Now...

I'mma tell you somethin'.

Get the fuck off me.

Now, I don't want it to be all bad blood between us, okay?

This isn't my intention.

I'm Everett Dylan Grunn and I'm sorry what's happened here.

Ow!

You stupid bitch.

- Get back here! - No!

- Come back here! - No!

God!

- That's it. - Fuck you!

Get against the tree. You stay still!

Stay still!

Give me your fuckin' hands.

Jesus, here I was thinking

I was only fighting a Squatch tonight.

Now...

You keep up that squealin',

and that Bigfoot will be here before you know it.

God damn.

Fuckin' psycho asshole motherfucker!

Woo-oo!

Let me hide first.

Help!

I couldn't find any results for,

"Kill and consume the blood and flesh of the others."

♪ Fast as you can ♪

♪ Everett's gonna shoot you down ♪

♪ Run, run ♪

♪ Fast as you can ♪

♪ Everett's gonna shoot you down ♪

That's one stubborn bitch.

All right, all right, maybe Lilly found the crashed car

and walked into town for help.

And walks 60 miles into town?

Maybe a driver picked her up or, or maybe...

Isabelle?

Jake!

Oz.

I don't know what's happening.

Oh, shit.

Okay, okay, just stay right there. Please just don't move.

Isabelle, I'm serious, please! Just stay right there.

Don't move!

Please, please, please don't make me do this.

Please don't make me do this. Don't make me do this!

- Oh, god! - No! No, please don't!

No, please don't! Please don't hurt me.

Please don't hurt me.

- Come on. - Please don't hurt-

- No, no, no, no. It's okay, it's okay.

No, no. Shh, shh, shh.

- I'm sorry. - It's okay, it's okay.

We can fix this, I can fix this.

We're gonna figure it out.

- I'm sorry. - It's okay, it's okay.

- I'm sorry. - It's okay.

I'm gonna go find Chris and, and we'll fix it.

We'll get something together, okay? Just, just...

I'm so hungry.

Hello?

We need to go, now.

What the fuck?

Hi, Jake.

I can't find Isabelle.

The other ones are coming, alright? We are going.

Jesus.

You know what?

I just got here and it seems like I care

so much more about the others than you do.

You don't give a shit if they live or die.

Dude, they would do the same exact thing.

Isabelle wouldn't.

Chris, we don't have time for this.

Look, you can think I'm an asshole all you want,

but the truth is, I live in fuckin' reality.

Look, it's great you got this whole puppy dog

thing going on, really, it's seriously endearing,

but you're a fuckin' pushover, Chris.

You sacrificing yourself here doesn't change that

it just makes you a dumb ass.

Let me check the rest of the house.

Please.

Five more minutes.

Then I'm gone, whether you come or not.

You're right.

I do think you're an asshole.

God damn it.

Hi, babe.

Fuck.

Lilly?

They're inside.

Now are you ready to leave?

Run!

Let's go.

So here's the plan.

We find the creeper that kidnapped me, grab his keys,

get to his car and get the fuck outta here.

What the fuck are these things?

I don't know.

I don't know, it's whatever's happening to Isabelle.

What's happening to Isabelle?

I'm not sure, I think it's called a wendigo.

Hey.

What?

Thanks for not leaving me.

Do you hear that?

What?

Lilly?

Where the fuck are they?

- Lilly, we have to go. - Not until I find the keys.

Lilly, right now.

Got 'em.

Come on.

Come on.

What the...

Lilly! Look at me, look at me, look at me.

Look at me. It's okay.

Hey, Lilly? It's okay, it's okay, it's okay.

Lilly, stay with me. Come on.

Baby, please. Please.

Please, please.

Lilly. Lilly, Lilly.

Lilly?

Oh, shit.

Come on, come on, come on, come on. Just do it, just drive.

Just drive, please. Come on.

They would do the same exact thing.

- Isabelle wouldn't. - Sorry, babe.

Sorry, babe.

You're a fuckin' pushover, Chris.

Hi, babe.

I feel like you're pushing you away, Chris.

No, please. Please.

Shit.

Oh, shit. Fuck, fuck!

Oh, Jesus.

I hate your fucking khakis.

Fuck.

Jesus Christ.

Okay.

♪ Everett's gonna get you ♪

♪ Run, run ♪

♪ Everett's gonna get you ♪

♪ Everett's gonna chase you down ♪

You do this?

Mr. Monster Killer!

My name is Everett Dylan Grunn,

and I don't know you...

It don't matter anymore.

I used to come to this place every fuckin' year for a month.

Every single year, every single...

I thought it was about Bigfoot, and the girl.

Gee!

I always did kinda lie to myself about that.

Wasn't about no girl.

Or even the Squatch.

It about this here goddamn rock.

I don't know what...

A test.

This spirit of flesh.

Wendigo.

That wendigo, he knows me inside and out.

He got into my head,

and squeezed his way in there.

He made me do things...

I ain't proud of.

That don't matter none now.

Neither does this here rock.

'Cause the only fuckin' thing I know

is how goddamn hungry I am.

I'm just tickled pink,

thinkin' about sinkin' my teeth in that pretty leg of yours.

♪ Run, run ♪

♪ Everett's gonna get ya ♪

♪ Run, run ♪

♪ Everett's gonna get you ♪

♪ Run, run ♪

♪ Everett's gonna get ya ♪

♪ Everett's gonna shoot you down ♪

You better run.

I'm so tired.

♪ Gonna get ya ♪

♪ Run, run ♪

♪ Everett's gonna get ya ♪

♪ Everett's gonna shoot you down ♪

Dead Month?

Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull