Original subtitles

Oh, just excuse me, just one second.

Don't eat all the desserts, Tab.

They're for everyone.

I'm sorry.

But the travel is too time-consuming now.

They need more European hubs.

Like there's this one girl, Frankie Q,

she was dating M.C. Gluteus,

she was at the airport, and the scanner just showed

her bag was just sex toys, and handcuffs, and stuff.

It was really funny.

Well, I just hope I have seen the last

of Frankfurt International Airport this year,

unless I'm actually going to Frankfurt.

How did you get the car when I have the valet ticket?

I had the extra keys.

Get in.

You don't have to get the car yourself.

They have parking attendants.

But I had the keys.

I still had to get the other set of keys

back from the valet.

It's just, sometimes it's better to do nothing

than to try and be helpful when you don't know

what you're doing.

All I did was get the car.

Okay, well next time, don't.

Just follow the rules like everyone else.

You're not special.

I'm not special?

I'm not special.

Everyone says I'm special.

I bet.

Fuck this.

Pull over.

Oh, don't be dramatic.

You know, you're hot,

but no one's hot enough for this shit.

Really?

Fine.

You could have at least given me a ride!

That is a great suit.

I hate it.

Oof, well, it looks better off than on.

Yeah.

Oh my god.

Whoa!

Morning.

How you feeling?

Good.

No remorse?

What's remorse?

Regrets?

Wish you could take it back?

I fucking loved it.

I fucking loved it!

I wanna do it again.

And again, and again!

And again! - Whoa, whoa, whoa!

- And again! - Ow!

Jesus! - And again!

And again!

Hey.

Can I ask what's brought all this on?

All this lovin's?

Yeah.

You really like me.

Yeah.

And you're so good.

You're always so good to me.

I just wanna be good to you.

I'm really happy when I'm around you.

I'm happy around you, too.

What's going on?

You're cleaning?

We haven't had a party in weeks.

We're having a blowout tonight.

A we all have money again party.

Is that not how we got broke in the first place?

Student loans are finite.

Sugar daddies give and give.

My sugar is replenished,

and I have two.

You pay your tuition yet?

On Monday, I'll have enough for tuition.

All right well.

I'll invite some kids from work.

Text Tab to put the word out.

Most of our fake friends are his Instagram followers.

Cool.

Why do we always wait for the day of a party

to clean up from our last party?

We don't want people to think we're slobs.

Right.

Thank you.

How'd my dick taste?

Delicately spiced with a tonic of salt and old vinegar.

Not like pussy?

You had sex with a girl.

I showered, but I tried to keep my dick dry

so you'd taste it.

Gonna see her again?

I mean, I work with her.

Mickey.

Shitting where you eat.

Oh.

Come here.

I want you to have your fun.

And I'm hoping that you'll keep wanting to come back to me.

But if the time comes that that changes,

just be honest.

And I'll be able to stay in school another term,

thanks to you.

That's great.

Have you thought about where you'd like to go on holiday?

Do you like beaches, or culture?

I could do museums for half a day.

Hmm.

I think I'm more of a beach.

Actually, pool.

And a bar.

And where they have the bar in the pool,

and you just float up and get another drink-

Hi.

Early.

Gus.

Early is a longtime customer at the hardware store.

Oh.

How did the tiles match?

People that can't tell the difference love them.

That's great.

Mm-hmm.

Bud is my nephew.

Yeah, he's my nephew, too.

Really?

No, not really.

So, you guys know each other?

That's great.

You gotta be kidding me.

We never said we were monogamous.

How many sugar daddies do you have?

A semester's tuition worth.

Oh, so you're basically a hooker?

I don't self-identify as a sex worker.

Well I don't self-identify as a mark for a con artist.

What's the con?

You get what you pay for.

And you're a hooker.

Shit.

Hi.

Enjoy.

Nice car.

Who's the fella?

I, uh, bumped into an old teacher of mine.

Great guy.

He gave me a lift.

Is he?

Yeah, you know, I ran into Tab with his old school teacher

the other day.

What are you boys up to?

Well.

I mean, a guy's gotta make ends meet.

Okay.

Is that really the best metaphor for this moment?

It's okay.

You're not the first guy I crushed on

who turned out to be gay.

No, I'm, I'm not gay.

Well, are you straight?

Is anyone straight anymore?

I am.

Like, 80, 90% of the time.

Okay, see?

I just, I just haven't done the math.

No.

Don't like, don't.

I really like you.

Just, give me some space, okay?

I'm sorry.

I'll give Terry my two weeks.

Oh my god, no, Mickey.

Look, you don't have to quit.

Okay?

I'm not that mad.

I was really only holding onto the job

so I could see you.

Bud's having a party at our place later.

You can, uh, come by if you still want to be friends.

You okay, man?

The best laid plans, my friend.

Ooh.

Who do you have plans to lay?

Benny!

He invited his sugar daddy?

Ooh, that cuts deep.

- Hey. - Hi.

I'm really sorry.

I should have been more up front with you.

Yeah.

But I get it, so.

Oh.

Um.

I'm not mad anymore.

It's fine.

There's a guy outside.

He's waiting for you.

He said he won't come in.

What?

He's waiting for you.

Thank you.

Hi.

Hi.

Uh, I guess, uh, we both had enough time

to think about what's really important?

Yeah.

I don't want you to have to be

with anybody else anymore.

I will take care of you, fully.

My heart, my life, everything mine is yours.

Will you marry me?

No prenup?

No prenup.

Yes!

Wanna come in?

No, no.

It's been a long time since I've been at a kegger.

You have fun.

I'll see you later, back at my place.

I mean, our place.

- Okay. - Okay.

Whoa, nice ring.

It's a diamond.

Engagement ring.

I had no idea.

Thank you.

Does he know you troll on Grindr?

I don't troll Grindr.

I sail along it.

You never mentioned a boyfriend.

It's newish.

Little impulsive, but he didn't ask for a prenup,

so I couldn't say no.

You know it's better to find out who you are

at someone else's expense than to find out the hard way.

What was that about?

Oh, he's all heartbroken because I'm not marrying him.

If I wanted to marry a dirt poor dance student,

I'd marry myself.

Clark?

Poor?

His father owns the pharmacy.

What pharmacy?

Like, all of them.

He's a trust fund kid.

He's gonna inherit, like, $10 million.

Clark!

Why didn't you tell me you were rich?

Why would I?

Well, why would you tell me you were poor?

I didn't.

You told me you had a sugar daddy who pays for your condo

and gives you a $3000 month allowance.

You were my inspiration for getting a sugar daddy

in the first place.

I admired your, your grit.

Your mercenary cool.

For two months, I have been trying to be like you.

I said my daddy paid for my condo.

I didn't say sugar daddy.

What?

Your daddy is your actual daddy?

Of course.

What do you take me for?

I could have had a rich boyfriend all this time?

Yeah, I guess so.

Or maybe I would have found out

what a shallow gold digger you are all on my own

without you having to tell me to my face.

I think you might have misinterpreted that.

I think I know what a prenup's for.

And unless you're working down in the mines,

I know what a gold digger is, too.

No, I, I really like you.

You obviously don't.

Which is a shame.

Because I really, really liked you.

You know what?

You don't know what it's like.

To be strapped.

To not know how you're gonna pay rent,

or choose between going to a movie and eating breakfast.

No, I don't.

But I also don't know what it's like

to be with someone that you don't even care about.

You're on Grindr!

I only went on Grindr to talk to you.

You did?

I didn't have your number,

and I knew you'd be on there.

You became a hookup slut just for me?

Can we try this again?

No.

My daddy warned me about girls like you.

I'm gonna hold out for someone who wants me

where I have money or not.

See you in modern.

Have they replaced Mickey at the diner yet?

Not yet.

Oh.

Morning.

Morning, Eloise.

Bathroom's over there.

Morning.

Morning.

Americano?

Sure.

Do you want some eggs?

Morning, baby.

So.

What's everyone up to today?

Think I'm gonna call my sister.

Nice.

Some kind of country club thing.

How about you?

Maybe we can clean this place up a bit.

I can send over my cleaning service.

Maybe we can go shopping.

Shopping?

Yup.

Bye, ho.

It's off to work we go.

♪ I see you coming from a hundred miles ♪

♪ Got a shattered window, got a stained glass heart ♪

♪ You can feel my body when she holds you tight ♪

♪ You don't have to worry, baby ♪

♪ I'll be fine

♪ Ooh

♪ I keep our memories locked inside ♪

♪ Ooh

♪ You'll need them more than I

♪ So give me one kiss goodbye

♪ Don't try to make me stay for a while ♪

♪ Give me one kiss goodbye

♪ Shouldn't lie, won't come back ♪

♪ Just give me one kiss goodbye ♪

♪ Ooh

I was gonna ask you if you could buy me something.

Hmm, what do you need?

Plane ticket back to Canada.

♪ Ooh

♪ Give me one kiss goodbye

♪ Don't try to make me stay for a while ♪

♪ Ooh