Original subtitles

WOMAN: Dr. Phillips, you are needed in surgery.

Dr. Phillips, you are...

Right. Okay. Yeah.

If you'd like to get ready to be examined,

and Dr. Lawrence will be in shortly.

Okay. Thanks. Yeah. Thanks.

I've been thinking.

Don't freak out.

I think we should move back to Bristol.

We only really started arguing when we moved up here.

What about our jobs?

I could be based down in Bristol.

I'm sure they'd have you back in your old job.

This could be good for us.

I'm not saying no.

But I just need to think about it.

[ Footsteps approaching ]

I'm Ms. Lawrence. I'm your surgeon.

So, uh, how do you want me?

You only needed to lower your trousers and pants.

I know.

But they looked ridiculous bunched up around my ankles,

so, uh, I lost the trousers completely.

Now we' re looking at jacket and shirt, naked, shoes and socks.

That' s not doing me any favors, so I lose the jacket and shirt.

Naked, shoes and socks. I mean they' ve got to go, right?

So, uh...here we are.

So I see.

-I've got your test results. -Right. Right.

We'll just have a quick chat before I examine you.

Take a seat.

So, uh, do you want me to get dressed?

It' s up to you. However you' re most comfortable.

No. I'm -- I'm sorry.

This -- This is not working for me.

Oh.

-Here. -Thank you.

Thanks.

Have you told everyone we're back together?

Yeah, I think most people.

Does Jack know?

No, not yet.

You work with him every day.

I know.

It's just not exactly great timing --

the lump and everything.

"I'm back with my husband! Good for me!

Sorry about your testicle."

How is he?

Terrified.

Other than that, he' s his usual irritating self.

Have you checked yours?

I went down there with a mirror.

I've checked every wrinkle, crinkle, and wrunkle.

A simple "yes" would've done.

Oh.

I've got to get ready.

-Oh! Mother-- -Oh!

I' m sorry. I' m sorry. I' m sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry.

What is it with you and my legs?

I don't know.

-[ Moans ] -Sorry.

[ Clears throat ]

I' m afraid it' s not good news.

Oh, Jesus. I'm dying.

You're not dying.

The lump is cancerous, but it's not malignant.

We've caught it early.

I won't know for certain until I operate,

but we may have to remove the testicle.

[ Thud ]

[ Breathing heavily ]

Even if we have to remove the testicle --

Can you just -- Can you just stop saying that, please?

You can still have children.

You think I'm gonna be able to find a woman as a one-ball?

I mean, let's face it --

It' s not gonna look very pretty, is it?

Aesthetically,

they' re not the most attractive things in the world anyway.

Oh, great.

Tell you what -- Why don' t you cut them both off,

make yourself a pair of earrings?

Oh, Jesus.

I've offended you.

You' re gonna be cutting into my testicle with a scalpel,

and I've offended you.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'll tell you what.

Can we start again?

-I'm gonna go and get dressed. -Yeah.

Subtitling made possible by RLJ Entertainment

I'm sorry.

I just wish I hadn't made all those cancer jokes.

It's really come back to bite me on the arse.

Have you ever, you know, with a one-ball?

Uh, I can't say I have.

-[ Doorbell rings ] -Haven't or wouldn't?

Haven't.

Okay. You're disgustingly drunk.

You pick up some sleazy guy in a club.

Take him back to yours. You' re on your hands and knees.

-You unzip his fly. -Sounds like an average weekend.

You reach in, whip it out. He's a one-ball.

Now, are you still up for a filthy night

of cheap, sordid sex?

-Do we have to do this now? -Yes!

If I like this sleazy guy that I just met in a club,

I don't care how many balls he's got.

To be continued.

Hi.

Gemma G's been abducted.

Who?

Gemma G.

Never heard of her.

RICHARD: I'm surprised you haven't.

They have had three number ones. Here. Take a look.

This is Gemma G.

She's with the band.

Candy Crew?

And you are?

Richard Anderson. I'm their manager.

KATE: Ah.

G for?

G for gorgeous.

She wanted to be like that H from Steps.

You know, like H for hyperactive.

I always thought it was H for homosexual.

Apparently not.

Ah. Please allow me to introduce Gemma' s bandmates.

This is Lucy B and Tina T.

They're police officers.

Have you found her?

Not yet. We are working on it.

Tina T.

-T for, uh... -T for teeth.

Oh, right.

B for...

B for bouncy, silly.

Yeah. As in "I'm so much crazy fun."

Yeah. Come on! Whoo!

[ Laughs ]

-Whoo! -Lucy.

-When was Gemma abducted? -TINA: This morning.

Me and Lucy came back from the gym.

The door was open and the place was all messed up.

Some sick psycho's probably putting his thing

in her puffball right now.

Can you think of anyone who might want to harm her?

-Cheryl Cole. -Really?

She's just a jealous bitch,

'cause Gemma's got better skin than her.

It wasn't Cheryl Cole.

-Can we see Gemma's bedroom? -Yes. Of course.

JACK: [ Clears throat ]

Cheryl Cole? Now, just wait here.

KATE: Hmm. Looks like she put up a fight.

Mm.

[ Toilet flushes ]

[ Whistling ]

Hey, Naz. When did you get here?

About half an hour ago.

You want to take us through what happened?

It looks like the intruder climbed up the drainpipe,

smashed the window.

Gemma comes from the bathroom, sees the intruder.

-[ Screams ] -Oh! Jesus Christ.

[ High-pitched ] "What are you doing in my bedroom?!"

[ American accent ] "I'm abducting you, bitch."

The intruder grabs Gemma. They struggle.

[ Grunting, screaming ]

Gemma was overpowered by the intruder and dragged downstairs.

[ Grunts ]

"I got plans for you, girl.

Me and you are going to get to know each other real well."

[ Screaming ]

"Come on, bitch!"

What' s with the American accent?

Don't know.

Do you need anything else?

No. I think we got that.

Maybe you could dust for prints.

Sure. I'll go get my box.

You better take a look around.

I'll, uh, I'll go and talk with the girls.

Hey, are you okay?

Sorry. [ Sobs ]

That's all right.

Gemma' s always taken care of me.

I'm nothing without her.

Now, that's not true.

She's the only one of us who can sing.

Me and Lucy, we just mime.

I' m just a pair of tits on legs. [ Sobs ]

No.

T for teeth, hmm?

That's bullshit. No one's looking at my teeth.

Hey, you got a beautiful smile.

Yeah, maybe not right now, but, you know...

I don't know what I'll do if something happens to her.

Yeah.

I know what it's like to lose someone you love.

Really?

They're probably gonna have to cut my right testicle off.

I'm gonna be a one-ball.

Can you tell us who this man is?

That's John Paul.

He's lovely.

He comes to all of our concerts.

He' s always sending us presents and flowers

and baking us cookies.

Sometimes he hangs around outside the house all night.

He's a superfan.

Otherwise known as a stalker.

I mean, why not just have her naked?

That should shift a few more units.

God forbid we focus on a woman's talents.

I think you're looking at her talents.

She's got a lot of talent.

-Hey, if you got it, flaunt it. -Is that right?

You wouldn't have a problem if this was your daughter?

-She' s not my daughter. -She' s someone ' s daughter.

Everyone woman I' ve ever had sex with is someone' s daughter.

It's never stopped me from playing daddy.

[ Groans ]

I think that might have come out wrong.

Okay.

If your daughter was a stripper --

-Why is my daughter a stripper? -Ah!

So you would mind.

What if your son was a rapist?

-How is that relevant? -You started it.

I want you to acknowledge how you'd feel

if your daughter made her living by having men leering at her.

Okay, how would you feel if your rapist son

attacked my stripper daughter, threw acid in her face.

She's disfigured for life, can't even work!

I wouldn't defend him.

Your own son?

Some mother you'd be.

[ Cellphone beeping ]

-Who's that? -No one.

It's obviously someone.

It's a friend.

Oh. Is she good-looking?

-I'm not answering that. -[ Doorbell rings ]

She a bit of a hound?

Hey, it's good to have ugly friends.

Makes you look more attractive.

-It's all relative. -Mm.

Hi.

Your parents in?

"Are your parents in?"

Hey, I panicked when I saw the wheelchair.

I didn' t want to offend anyone.

Oh. Well done.

[ Sobbing ]

[ Sighs ] Sorry.

[ Sniffs ]

I just...I can' t believe anybody would want to hurt Gemma G.

We're really sorry to bother you.

We think it could be a fan.

We just thought you... might be a suspect.

We won't trouble you any further.

-Sorry. -Is that it?

You're not gonna question me?

Well, I-I...

-I think we can rule you out. -Why is that?

You're eliminating me from your inquiries

purely because I'm in a wheelchair?

-Is that against the rules? -What rules?

What my colleague is trying to say is...

your personal circumstances make it unlikely

you could have abducted Gemma G.

Y-You're saying people in wheelchairs

aren't capable of committing heinous crimes?

Uh, I can't think of any examples.

Can you?

Nobody springs to mind.

How about the Nazis?

Weren't a few of those, uh... you know?

Yeah. I'm not sure the Nazis are big on equal opportunities.

Perhaps we're so smart,

you haven't been able to catch any of us.

Are you saying a significant number of unsolved crimes

are committed by people in wheelchairs?

It's a possibility.

Well, maybe we should round you all up

and put you in a cage, huh?

-What? -That isn't funny.

We're just as capable of being cruel, greedy, and violent

as any able-bodied person.

I take it you would like us to question you.

I' d like you to treat me as you would any able-bodied suspect.

-Okay. Okay. -Okay.

Did you climb up a drainpipe, smash your way through a window,

overpower Gemma G, drag her downstairs,

bundle her into a car, and abduct her?

Hmm?

No.

Oh, Jesus. I'm sorry.

Sorry.

[ Exhales deeply ]

Well, that really moved on the investigation.

Well, at least we didn't offend anyone.

So...lunch?

It's 10:30.

[ Cellphone ringing ]

Is that your ugly friend?

Hello?

When was this?

They' ve received a ransom demand for Gemma.

Yeah? Tell them we'll come after lunch.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah. We're on our way.

[ Engine turns over ]

[ Tires squeal ]

* Just come back, 'cause I need you *

* Gonna be strong

* Yeah, I know we can see this through *

[ Music continues ]

WOMAN ON TELEVISION: Since the disappearance of Gemma G,

Internet downloads of the band ' s latest No. 2 hit

have quadrupled.

Can you throw in a few of those custard ones?

The band, seen here leaving

for the Brit Awards earlier this year...

Do you like custard ones?

How many doughnuts do we need?

Hey, these ransom situations can go on for days.

We need a sugar rush to keep us sharp, on the edge.

Do you remember that kidnapping case we worked

when I was on the force -- little Chinese boy?

Do I remember it? Just a bit. [ Laughs ]

What was that kid called? Ho Fun something.

-That's a noodle. -Is it?

Oh. Something else, then.

[ Both laugh ]

What happened?

Well, this kid's dad wants to pay up the ransom,

so he brings the money into the station.

It's a little while since we hear from the kidnappers,

and the money's just sitting there.

You know how it goes. People start dipping in.

Lunch money. Birthday collections.

-Group outings. -Group outings.

-[ Both laugh ] -You spent the ransom money?

No. Not all of it.

-We went tenpin bowling. -That was a night.

This boy can bowl.

Anyway, it comes time when we have to pay the ransom.

Turns out we' re 25 grand short.

The commissioner goes ape.

[ Laughing ] He's this little bald guy.

His whole head goes red when he's angry.

Oh, my God! Is that why you got the sack?

Who said I got sacked?

Oh. Sorry.

I don't know. Um...

Didn't you... Uh, no. I don't know.

Um, I thought you were asked to leave the force. Sorry.

That was racially motivated constructive dismissal.

Right.

Do you want to see the tribunal verdict?

I can show it to you.

Tribunal verdict, please, darling.

-Blonde at the bar. -Tony, sorry. I...

I made a mistake. I just...

Obviously I was thinking of someone else.

TONY: Oh. Okay.

You mean another lazy, incompetent black copper, yeah?

-Yeah. -What?

It -- [ Sighs ]

Are you messing with me?

[ Laughter ]

Funny, funny, funny.

NAZ: Hey, kids.

Hey, Naz. Fancy a custard doughnut?

Custard? Gives me the creeps.

Right.

That's everything you need

to trace the call from the kidnapper.

Oh. Do you know how to work one of these?

Do I know how to work one of these?

[ Laughing ] Do I know how to work one of these?

No. I thought you did.

Well, you're very lucky, 'cause I do.

Now, you see?

This is why we make a good team.

-Okay. -TONY: See you later.

JACK: Thanks, Tone.

[ Bird squawking ]

Oh, the sick bastard.

It arrived not long after you left.

There's a note with it.

And they'll call with further instructions.

Looks like he used a pair of secateurs.

[ Doorbell rings ]

Excuse me.

[ Inhales sharply ]

MAN: He's coming to the door!

[ Shouting, shutters clicking ]

RICHARD: No comment.

[ Shouting continues ]

Right. [ Clears throat ]

So I'm thinking I'll handle the blah, blah

with the kidnappers, right?

I take it you've trained in hostage negotiations.

-All the courses? -Courses?

-I didn't know there were any. -Right.

I think I'll be conducting the negotiations.

Did you know, on average,

women pay 25% more for their cars than men?

Fact.

We' re not buying a dodgy Mondeo. Fact.

But it's the same principle, isn't it? Give and take.

-Thrust, counterthrust. -I'm doing the negotiations.

I don' t see how that' s possible,

considering we've already established

that I don't know how to use the phone-tracing equipment.

Oh, God help her.

-Fine. You do it. -Right there.

W-What?

See how easily you folded?

-Oh, for... -There's your first mistake.

Fact.

RICHARD: I'm sorry, Erin. It's great news.

It's -- It's just the circumstance...

Yeah.

-Okay. Bye. -[ Telephone beeps ]

Since Gemma's abduction,

the band's records have been flying off the shelves.

JACK: It's like Band Aid all over again.

Beautiful.

How is it like Band Aid?

See, that's your trouble. You're a cynic.

I bought 10 copies of "Do They Know It's Christmas?"

How many did you buy?

Eleven.

[ Telephone ringing ]

Mm.

Do you have...

Um...

[ Ringing continues ]

Thank you.

Ah.

[ Clears throat ]

[ Beeping ]

Hello?

£1 million?

[ Whispering ] Speakerphone. You want to talk to Gemma.

We' ll get you the money, but we need to speak to Gemma first.

MAN: [ Voice distorted ] You' re not making the rules here.

I'm afraid that's non-negotiable.

Then I'm gonna cut Gemma's head off and stick it in a box.

Okay. Let's keep calm.

Where do you want us to drop the money?

There' s a phone box outside the south gate of Fairview Common.

I'll phone it at 9 a.m. tomorrow morning.

If you don' t answer, Gemma dies.

I'll be there.

I think I'd like your pretty partner to deliver it to me.

You sure you want to do this at 9 a.m.?

I'm just -- I'm worried about the traffic.

Um, you know, the -- the school run's a nightmare,

and, um, they just put in these speed bumps down there.

And, you know, I don't want to be late because --

[ Dial tone ]

[ Cellphone beeps ]

[ Crowd shouting, shutters clicking ]

No comment.

-No comment. -Excuse me.

[ Shouting continues ]

Hang on a minute.

How many times do I have to say "no comment"?

Jack, listen.

Where are you -- Jack!

[ Indistinct talking ]

-KATE: Jack! -I'm just checking.

This whole, uh, abduction/kidnapping scenario?

It' s not just a publicity stunt, is it?

No.

Sure about that?

Yes.

Where were you at the time of the abduction?

[ Shouting continues ]

I was screwing my brother's wife.

I know.

What can I say? I'm a terrible person.

I'm gonna be checking your alibi with your brother.

What? No. Christ.

Please, please don't do that. I'm begging you.

I'm joking! [ Laughs ]

So you had nothing to do with the abduction?

RICHARD: No.

I' m not saying Gemma being taken hasn' t been bloody great

for record sales -- and I mean, like, ka-ching.

But I had nothing to do with it.

Okay.

You seem like an honest guy.

Except for the thing about your brother' s wife, obviously.

[ Chuckles ]

Shame on you.

Just checking.

[ Shouting continues ]

Oh.

Have you thought any more about Bristol yet?

-Um... -[ Doorbell rings ]

No, I-I haven't. I will.

[ Grunts ]

[ Vehicles passing ]

-Ready? -Yeah.

All set. Yeah.

That's assuming you haven't spent the ransom money.

-I thought you had the money. -What?

I'm joking. It's in the car.

-Hilarious. -Just need to use your toilet.

-Uh, we haven't got time. -We've got plenty of time.

Can't you just use the toilet in the park?

Nobody uses the toilet in the park --

not as a toilet, anyway.

Um, just...

Do you have a problem with people using your toilet?

I do. I don't like it.

I am house-trained, you know.

I'm not gonna urinate all over the floor.

I'm just not comfortable with other people using my toilet.

It's just...

Come on.

So what do you do when you have friends over?

-They use my neighbor' s toilet. -And he' s okay with that?

Yeah. We have an arrangement. I pay him.

-What, this guy? -Yeah.

J-Jack, what are you doing?

-I'm gonna use his toilet. -He won't be in.

-ANDY: Hello? -Hi. I'm a friend of Kate's.

-I've got to use your toilet. -I'm sorry. What? Who is this?

Andy, hi. Hello. It's Kate.

Sorry. It's just a misunderstanding.

Is there something wrong with your toilet?

-No. It's all fine. -She won't let me use it.

Don't you get sick of all her friends using yours?

I don't know how much she's paying you but...

-What? -A-Andy...

Jack.

Hey, Dan.

How are you? How are the legs?

Yeah, yeah. They're, um, on the mend.

Kate. I' m sorry. Are you letting your friends use my toilet?

-No. -What's this?

Apparently Kate has an arrangement with her neighbor

so her friends can use his toilet.

ANDY: There's no arrangement.

I'm sorry about your, uh... you know.

Anything I can do to help.

-Got a spare testicle? -Wish I did.

I should get dressed. Good luck.

Okay.

Can we just go now?

Oh, I'm sorry.

Am I making you feel uncomfortable?

We're going.

I do actually need to go to the toilet.

Do you remember how this whole thing started?

Go on.

ANDY: You're not using mine.

So...

I was gonna tell you.

But instead you choose to make up

this, quite frankly, ridiculous lie

about paying your neighbor

so that your friends can use his toilet?

Yeah. Good work. [ Chuckles ]

You know why I didn' t tell you?

'Cause I didn't want to hear your opinion on it.

I'm sure you've got one.

I haven't said a word.

Mm. You will.

Also, I actually didn't think it was a very good time,

you know, with your operation.

Hey, do not use my testicle to justify your dishonesty.

I wasn't using your testicle.

Well, it certainly felt like you were,

and not in a pleasant way.

Look, we work together.

It's not like we have to share

every single intimate detail of our lives.

Oh, I see. So I'm just another colleague to you.

-Another face in the office. -We' ve never been to the office!

Another number on a sheet of paper,

a meaningless squiggle on the back of an envelope.

I don't even know what that means.

Yeah, well...

Anyway, it's not like you tell me everything

about your personal life.

Maybe that's because you're too wrapped up in your own life

to care.

[ Gasps ] Oh.

That is unfair.

And it's not true.

Yeah?

Well, did you know that I met a girl last week?

No, I didn't, 'cause you didn't tell me.

Well, did you ask? Do you ever ask?

Okay.

I think it's just 'cause of everything with Dan.

And...

I'm very sorry if I've been self-obsessed.

That's okay. Don't worry about it.

[ Sighs ]

So this girl.

Who is she? How did you meet?

Well...

[ Chuckles ]

There's this tapas bar near the hospital.

[ Birds chirping ]

So you and Dan -- You think that' s gonna work out?

Here we go.

Yeah, I do as a matter of fact.

[ Snorts ]

Thanks for your vote of confidence.

Hey, no.

I'm -- I'm sure you're both entirely different people

to who you were last week.

-You're gonna get on great. -Yeah, we are.

We're both committed,

and we' ve promised we' re gonna be honest from now on.

Mm-hmm? Back in the real world...

What does that mean?

Last thing a woman wants to hear is the truth.

That' s why men spend their lives sugarcoating everything.

Oh, you mean lying.

JACK: You know he's gonna make you run all over the place

before you hand over the ransom money.

Why do they always do that?

It's Clint Eastwood in "Dirty Harry."

Oh, yeah.

Mm. 8:55.

Better make a move.

[ Chuckles ]

Those, are, um...

Those shorts are really, uh...

[ Chuckles ]

What?

Sporty.

Now, pace yourself. Don't go flat out.

-You've got nothing to prove. -Is everyone in position?

Yeah, we've got people all over the park.

They'll be watching.

Hey.

Be careful.

Especially in those shorts.

[ Laughs ]

[ Telephone rings ]

Hello?

MAN: [ Voice distorted ] Have you got the money?

Yeah, I've got it. Where's Gemma?

You know how this works.

I need to make sure you lose all the people who are watching you.

If I see anyone else at the ransom drop, Gemma dies.

Be at the phone box on Lawrence Road in five minutes.

[ Dial tone ]

KATE: You get that?

Lawrence Road. Lawrence Road. Lawrence Road.

It's, uh, across the heath, dead ahead.

Oi! Oi, darlin'!

Piss off, wanker!

Easy, tiger. He's one of ours.

MAN: Three-seven. Visual contact.

MAN #2: Roger, three-seven.

[ Telephone ringing ]

Hello?

MAN: [ Voice distorted ] Phone box on Park Road.

Ten minutes.

Park Road, dead ahead. Away from the car park.

Got it.

There's a fork in the path.

[ Breathing heavily ]

-Which way is it? -...right.

Jack?

No. Hang on. Sorry.

[ Static ]

Jack?

Kate?

-[ Static ] -Come on.

-You're break-- -Kate?

I can't hear you.

Left. Left.

Left.

-[ Static ] -Kate?

She must have gone into the trees.

Spread out and find her.

MAN #2: Three-four. Lost visual contact.

-MAN: Three-seven. Lost... -WOMAN: Three-five. Nothing.

Kate?

[ Breathing heavily ]

Jack?

[ Static ]

Jack, come in.

What's in the bag, lady?

I'm a police officer. I'm under surveillance.

You hear that, boys?

She says she's under surveillance.

Unless you want to get yourselves arrested, walk on.

Give me the bag.

I can't do that.

Give me the bag, bitch.

[ Breathing heavily ]

[ Telephone ringing ]

[ Ringing continues ]

[ Ringing continues ]

[ Dial tone ]

[ Breathing heavily ]

-[ Telephone rings ] -Hello?

MAN: [ Voice distorted ] You're late.

What did I say was gonna happen if you were late?

I've got the money.

You look tired, Kate.

Where's Gemma?

Do you see the blue van?

She's waiting for you there.

Leave the money by the phone.

I see her first, then you get the money.

You've got 10 seconds, or she dies.

-Ten... -I see her first.

...nine, eight...

Better get running, Kate.

Hi. I'm Gemma G. -- G for gorgeous.

Hi. I'm Gemma G. -- G for gorgeous.

Hi. I'm Gemma G. -- G for gorgeous.

No. No.

Oh.

[ Siren wailing, radio chatter ]

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Hi. I'm Gemma G. -- G for gorgeous.

Hi. I'm Gemma G. -- G for gorgeous.

Hi. I'm Gemma G. --

-G for gorgeous. -Hey.

Hi. I'm Gemma G. -- G for gorgeous.

Hi. I'm Gemma G. -- G for gorgeous.

Hi. I'm Gemma G. -- G for gorgeous.

Hi. I'm Gemma G. -- G for gorgeous.

Hi. I'm Gemma G. -- G for gor--

Are you okay?

Did we activate the tracking device?

It's on an automatic setting.

The monitor's in the glove compartment.

[ Beeps ]

[ Beeping rapidly ]

-He's really close. -Yeah?

Oh, my God. We're right on him.

Must be some sort of underground passage.

[ Beeping accelerates ]

[ Squeals, beeping stops ]

[ Chuckles ]

I was gonna put it in the bag.

But, you know, then we got --

we got into that whole weird thing

with you not letting me use the toilet, and it slipped my mind.

So it's my fault?

Indirectly, yes.

Okay. It was a contributing factor.

Give me that, huh?

I kill myself running all over that park.

I was nearly mugged.

Really? Was it the shorts?

I warned you about the shorts.

Clint Eastwood never had to put up with this kind of shit.

Clint Eastwood never wore shorts like that, not with his legs.

You can' t even do a simple thing

like putting a tracking device in a bag.

You know, I've got a lot on my mind.

I' m about to go under the knife.

What -- What did you just say to me this morning?!

-What? -Don't use your testicle

to justify your complete incompetence!

It was worth a try.

Oh, God. This...

This is gonna be all over the news.

You know that.

What's the commissioner gonna say?

Don't worry about that. He never watches the news.

I can't do this anymore.

I'm sorry. I need a partner I can trust.

What? Hey, y-you can trust me.

I can't!

I don't.

I never will.

Fine.

If that's the way you feel, you can take the bus home.

[ Tires squeal ]

You are such a child!

MAN: A ransom was paid

but failed to secure the release of Gemma G.

-Hiya. -Hey.

The police operation is being described as bungled

and incompetent.

-How was your day? -[ Groans ]

[ Sighs ]

Just like the man said -- bungled and incompetent.

Oh.

You okay?

[ Groans ]

Let's move back to Bristol.

Really?

Yeah.

Peace offering?

I don't think the kidnapper had any intention

of releasing Gemma.

If this is just you covering your arse, I'm not interested.

Just -- Just hear me out, okay?

Why wouldn't he let us talk to her?

I think Gemma knew him.

And if she knew him, there' s no way he' s releasing her alive.

So yesterday evening,

I go and see this manager guy, Richard Anderson,

see if he knew anyone it could be.

Yeah?

Nobody's heard from Richard since yesterday morning --

after the ransom was paid.

You worked late?

Yeah.

"Yeah." [ Scoffs ]

You never work late.

Look...I screwed up yesterday.

-Mm-hmm. -I'm sorry.

We're a good team.

This friction thing works.

Took us a while, but we got there with -- with the rapport.

-Ba-bing, ba-bong, you know? -Mm. Yeah.

Look, I trust you.

I want you to trust me.

I'll stop dicking around, I promise.

Really?

-Okay. Not all the time. -Mm.

Come on. Partners?

Ah. [ Chuckles ]

You can't beat the smell of freshly toasted bagel.

Little ring of heaven.

Mmm. Not bad.

It wasn't my idea. It was Richard.

Do you know where he is?

Tell them.

Since Gemma's been kidnapped,

we've been getting so much publicity.

We' ve been selling loads and loads of records -- like, loads.

You asked Richard if it was all a publicity stunt.

-You gave him the idea. -Did I?

Richard asked the kidnapper to hold on to Gemma

for another few days.

The kidnapper promised he wouldn't hurt her.

How did Richard contact him?

He left a message on our Web site.

The kidnapper phoned up.

Richard offered him some money if he kept hold of Gemma.

It was only supposed to be till Sunday,

until the charts came out.

We -- We just...

[ Breathing heavily ] We just....

Where is it?

[ Wheezing ]

Where's what? Where's she going?

Oh, God. She's hyperventilating.

Is she? Breathe! Breathe!

Jack! She's breathing too heavily.

-Stop breathing! -You're not helping.

I'm not a doctor, am I?

[ Coughs ]

[ Inhales sharply ]

[ Breathing slows ]

That was intense.

-Just wanted to be number one. -What?

How could you do that to Gemma?

I'm sorry.

Why did Richard take the money?

JACK: Don' t even think of trying to pin this one on me.

KATE: You gave him the idea.

JACK: Okay.

So we fix the paperwork to make it look like I didn't.

Naz.

-Oh, Naz! -[ Shutter clicks ]

You want to take us through this, please?

Oh, the killer must have fired the gun from here.

Yeah?

[ Imitates gunshot ]

Hang on.

How come the blood splatter is so high up the wall?

Bullet must have come from a lower angle.

-Yeah? -Yep.

Okay. You be Richard.

Mnh-mnh. Lower.

Yeah?

Lower.

NAZ: That's it.

Oh, boy. This is a really uncomfortable firing position.

My thighs are on fire.

This guy's really short.

Murdered by a midget?

I think they prefer to be called dwarfs.

-They're not the same. -Yeah? What's the diff?

-Dwarfs have bigger heads. -Bigger heads.

Okay. Let's round up all the dwarfs.

Unless...he was sitting down.

But there's no chair.

What if he takes his own chair wherever he goes?

Yeah. I know it. Thanks.

He manages the greyhound track.

Yeah. Where's the greyhound track?

-I'm not exactly sure. -You said you knew it!

I just moved here! God. I...

[ Engine turns over ]

[ Shouting indistinctly ]

...I assume that means you know where it is.

Drive. For God's sakes!

Right. Let's split up.

Don't you think that's asking for trouble?

Do you want me to hold your hand?

Hey, you know, I' m trying to be a good partner here.

No pleasing you.

[ Whirring ]

[ Door rattling ]

[ Banging ]

[ Voice distorted ] Hello.

I' m gonna cut Gemma' s head off.

[ Beeps ]

[ Beeps ]

I' m gonna cut Gemma' s head off and stick it in a box.

[ Thudding, muffled screaming ]

JACK: Gemma?

Gemma?

[ Thudding, screaming continue ]

Jesus.

Hang on. Hang on. I'll get you out of there.

[ Grunts, metal clangs ]

[ Whimpering ]

It's okay. It's okay. I'm a police officer.

You're safe.

You're okay.

[ Sobs ]

He cut my finger off. He was gonna kill me.

He's insane.

-What? -Oh, it's nothing.

I just thought you'd be a bit more, you know, G --

G for gorgeous.

I've been locked in here sweating like a pig for days.

-I' ve been shitting in a bucket! -Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Too much detail.

-Come on. -[ Screams ]

I'm so sorry!

I'm sorry. Are you okay?

I-I didn't mean to do that.

He's in a wheelchair. They're supposed to be nice.

It's over, John Paul.

[ Chuckles ]

Hi, Jack.

What kept you so long?

Come any closer and your girlfriend dies.

-Let her go. -Why on earth would I do that?

This whole superfan thing

was just a way to get close to the band, wasn't it?

Yeah. And it worked like a dream.

"Look at the poor little man in the wheelchair.

Let's nuzzle our breasts into his face."

And this is how you repay them?

I'm curious.

When you abducted Gemma, how'd you break through the window?

I didn't.

I threw a grappling hook through it.

As I pulled it out, it knocked over some furniture,

making it appear a struggle had taken place.

Okay. How'd you overpower her?

She invited me in.

I then drugged her with a homemade chocolate chip cookie.

How'd you move her?

I used a winch to lift her up into a box.

I sealed it up and called a courier company

and had her collected.

Now, that's impressive.

You don't know the half of it.

You've no idea of the things I'm capable of.

[ Door opens ]

Do you remember that robbery

at the safe-depository on the Broadway?

-Me. -Really?

The diamond merchants on Cross Street?

-No. -Me.

The robbery and execution-style slaying

of that notorious drug dealer on the Park Estate?

-You're kidding me. -Me again.

You all see the wheelchair,

rather than the sick, twisted mind of the person that' s in it.

And that's your weakness.

You're not the guy who's been exposing himself

outside the primary school, are you?

-No! -[ Grunts ]

Aah!

[ John Paul screaming ]

Steps. That's your weakness.

Actually, I...I'd better call an ambulance.

[ Clears throat ]

Mm. Mm?

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.

-Jesus. -[ Cellphone beeping ]

-Mm? -Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.

* ...hear me cryin'

* You got to be strong

* Got to keep on tryin'

* Nothing's the same without you *

* So keep holdin'...

-Did you hear their single? -Mm.

Now, that's a crime.

[ Laughter ]

My cousin dated this guy in a wheelchair.

Oh, that ended badly.

What happened?

He was a crack dealer.

They went out driving in a little blue car.

A rival dealer opens up on him with an Uzi 9-millimeter.

Pbht. Messy, man. Messy.

Right. Very funny.

What?

My cousin and her disabled boyfriend

being slaughtered in a hail of automatic gunfire --

You think that's funny?

No. I think it's hysterical.

Kate. What is wrong with you?

[ High-pitched voice ] I'm messing.

[ Laughing ]

[ Normal voice ] Come on. You're always messing with me.

Am I?

You know, I'm glad you're going back to Bristol.

Goodbye.

He's messing with me, right?

I do remember him saying something

about his cousin being shot.

My God.

What did he mean, moving back to Bristol?

Oh.

Yeah. I am.

Um, I was about to tell you.

Um...

Dan wants to move back.

What happened to partners, huh?

I know. I'm sorry.

I have to put my marriage first.

Hey. No. You got to do what you got to do.

So when do you leave?

Tomorrow, um, just to sort stuff out.

Then I'll come back next week to get the rest of my stuff.

Right. So this is goodbye?

Yeah, I suppose.

Well...

[ Chuckles ]

[ Down-tempo jazz playing ]

Well, anyway, as much as I would love to stay

and bicker with you, I have got to get back and pack.

[ Grunts ]

Oh, Jack.

I...

It's been an experience.

You know, I think you enjoyed this more than you let on.

-Oh, do you? -Uh-huh.

Mm.

Well, uh, you just keep telling yourself that.

Good luck with the, uh, "marriage."

Thanks.

Let me know how it goes tomorrow.

Hey.

Want to say goodbye to him?

[ Laughs ]

Would you text me?

Yeah, right.

[ Music continues ]

She gone?

Yep.

You did tell her I was messing about my cousin, yeah?

Yeah?

No.

[ Both laugh ]

Another drink?

Yeah. Better get going.

[ Monitor beeping ]

[ Echoing ] Now, I'm just gonna mark

the testicle I'm going to operate on.

Huh?

It's the right one, yeah?

Is it my right or your right?

What?

Yeah?

It's usually your right.

[ Beeping accelerates ]

Now count backwards with me from 10.

Ten.

-Hang on. -Nine.

Whose right? Is it your right?

Eight.

-Or is it your right? -Seven.

Is it his right?

JACK: Oh, God.

Oh, Jesus!

Please -- Please don't make me a no-ball...

What?

I was just thinking what I was gonna tell Paul.

He was like, "You're mad to get back with her.

Don't do it. She's a psycho."

I can't believe you discussed our relationship with Paul.

He's a man with three kids by three different women.

So what did you say?

I said you'd changed. That was the old Kate.

I haven't exactly changed.

Yeah. I mean... just the annoying stuff.

I'm still me.

Yeah, but you're different.

Not really.

Oh. Well, you're trying.

That means a lot to me.

-Twat. -What's that?

What?

See? That was the old Kate.

There is no old Kate because there's no new Kate, okay?

There's just me.

You're really starting to disappoint me.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Maybe it' s ' cause you' re being such a patronizing prick.

-Old Kate. -[ Mockingly ] "Old Kate."

-There you go. -Prick.

All right. You're embarrassing yourself.

Why don' t you just calm down and think about what you' re doing?

I'm not prepared to tolerate

this kind of behavior from you anymore.

What are you doing?

I'm just gonna get rid of some old rubbish.

What are you doing?

Unbelievable.

Right.

-Come on. -Thank you.

-Thank you so much. -You're very, very welcome.

-Can I have my crutches, please? -Yes, you can.

Thank you.

[ Sighs ]

I have to adjust my brace, if you don't mind.

-Not at all. -Thank you.

Right.

You'll be begging me to take you back. Just watch.

You can't cope on your own.

-[ Engine revs, thud ] -Ow!

My leg!

[ Indistinct talking on P.A., siren wailing in distance ]

One down. No problem.

WOMAN ON P.A.: Dr. Celeste, you are needed in surgery.

Hello.

Hi. I' m D.I. Bishop. I' m looking for Jack Armstrong.

Oh, yeah. He's just in there.

Okay. Thank you.

[ Jack laughs, woman laughs ]

Hello! Oh.

Hey, what are you doing here?

She's not my wife or anything.

He's lying. I am his wife.

Dick.

Hey, don't be ridiculous!

Me and her? Come on!

Thanks for that.

So, I take it you're feeling better.

They didn't have to remove it in the end.

I'm still a two-ball. [ Chuckles ]

Congratulations.

Massive scar.

It's a talking point around here.

-Do you want to have a look? -Mm.

Tempting as that is, I'm gonna pass.

Okay.

I'd have thought you'd be on your way to Bristol by now.

Mm.

Um, change of plan.

Mrs. Bishop? Your husband's just about to go into surgery.

Thanks.

[ Laughs ]

[ Groans ]

[ Laughs ]

So you're gonna be out there now, dating.

Might give myself a day or two.

So, what are you looking for?

Someone with a bit of cash, right?

Someone with... a bit of personality, I think.

Right.

So you're gonna date some guy who sells the Big Issue

because he has a great "personality"?

-No. -Because he's skint.

Because we'd have nothing in common.

Because he doesn't have any money.

Money isn't important to me.

See, this is what happens when women get over 30.

Oh, my God. Here we go again.

You don't even know what I was gonna say.

Well, I know I'm not gonna like it.

-That's your hormones talking. -You are an ignorant twat.

JACK: How dare you.

How dare you!

KATE: You are, I'm afraid.

-I am not ignorant. -Moron.

JACK: I won the pub quiz last week.