Original subtitles

Now, we've gotta be ruthless, scruffy.

Esther wants this clutter halved.

So come on, let's crack on.

Now, right,

chest expanders.

Hey hey!

[Brian grunts]

[Metal clatters]

[Car whirring]

And now it's Brian Lane,

going for his third world championship.

How's it going?

You've been out here ages.

Oh, Brian!

I'm so glad you got me to do this, you know.

I'd forgotten I had half of this stuff.

You're not gonna keep all-

[cheerful music]

♪ It's all right ♪

♪ it's okay ♪

♪ doesn't really matter if you're old and grey ♪

♪ it's all right, I say ♪

♪ it's okay ♪

♪ listen to what I say ♪

♪ it's all right, doing fine ♪

♪ doesn't really matter if the sun don't shine ♪

♪ it's all right, I say ♪

♪ it's okay ♪

♪ we're getting to the end of the day ♪

[Siren wailing]

[Solemn music]

In the late 1970s,

there was a serial killer on the loose in south London.

Pattern of the killings had all the classic hallmarks

of a psychopath.

There was a particular mo,

and the victims all seemed to be chosen at random.

The only difference in the norm was, they were all dogs.

Oh yes [coughs] I remember the fuss.

Yeah, well, another dog last night

was found with the same mo

in the bushes on hampstead Heath,

which makes three killings in the last two weeks.

So it's a current investigation?

Yeah, based on original files.

[Scoffs] They're having a laugh, en't they?

I mean, I was a junior detective at the time,

and I worked on some of those cases.

It was a total bloody nightmare.

Yeah, well, you can tell us all about it

at the venue.

The top brass must think you've got some special insight

into killing dogs.

Just give me the facts, Gerry.

Well, actually it's very much like the original case.

The killer started with nasty dogs, like pit bulls,

so nobody took much notice.

When did the headlines start?

Well, when he moved on to nice dogs with nice owners,

yeah, the press went berserk.

It's the same old story, innit?

The great British public care more

about animals than people.

That's why it's the royal society

for the prevention of cruelty to animals,

and only the national society

for the prevention of cruelty to children.

Anyway, the killings logged up,

the police were caned from pillar to post

and every department in the met was diving for cover.

Apart from your lot?

Yeah, the press were all over us like a rash.

We had to drop everything,

that's murder, rape, burglary,

just so we could scour all the parks

looking for some bleeding dog killer.

Did you ever come close?

No, no, and then just as suddenly as they started,

the killings stopped.

[Jack] Well, what do you think?

Well, I'll need to go back over the original files,

but it looks like the same mo to me.

Yep.

How did anybody do that to a poor innocent animal?

So it's been a long time, Jack, how are you doing?

Ah, I can't complain.

Touch of arthritis in the old knee.

Well, at your age-

and I've got my arrhythmia, of course.

And I'm getting this funny tickle in my chest-

then you see a doctor, Jack, not a vet.

What can you tell us?

Well, not so much, I'm afraid.

I think it was a pit bull doberman cross,

maybe a bit of staff in there,

and all the major organs, other than the heart,

have been removed.

Same mo, then.

So the killer would have been spattered

with blood, Gore?

Oh no, not necessarily.

These organs were taken after death, not before.

How taken?

Well, it's very neat job.

Textbook mortuary incision.

I couldn't have done it better myself.

[Curious music]

Well, 30 odd years ago, there was no weapon,

no forensics and no witnesses.

The only leads we could come up with,

all had collars on them.

Oh!

Now, the original investigation

just put one name in the frame.

John Fletcher, a weirdo who worked in the meat trade.

You mean like a butcher?

No, I mean like a slaughterman in an abattoir.

Doesn't necessarily make him a psychopath.

With teenage convictions for cruelty to animals.

Dogs?

Cats.

It's a classic profile.

And I tell you something else about psychopaths.

They might begin with animals,

but they nearly always move on to humans in the end.

Well, we couldn't make anything stick.

Well, why don't you go and see

if you can make a better job of this time?

Yes, ma'am.

Mr. Fletcher?

[Fletcher grunts]

Gerry standing, Brian Lane from the unsolved crime squad.

What do you want?

A dog was killed on hampstead Heath, day before yesterday.

So one down, five million to go.

What?

- Have you got a dog? - Yeah.

Then I'm not talking to you, forget pooper scoopers,

I'd make the bloody owners lick it up.

Have you got dog too?

-No, I never really- -fine.

What do you wanna know?

Where were you between 9 P.M. and 11 on Wednesday night?

At home, alone, on the net.

All right, what about Tuesday the 21st,

when a rottweiler was killed?

Will you make him stop looking at me like that?

Like what?

Like he hates me.

Perhaps I'm strangely prejudiced

against people who don't like animals.

Perhaps I'm prejudiced against people

who don't like people.

So you approve of these killings?

I neither condemn nor condone them,

but I can understand the reasons behind them.

What reasons?

Well, apart from the fact that

canines harbour 15 different serious diseases, you mean?

Well, did you know that the money this country spends

on dogs would give every child in Africa their vaccinations

and provide their family with clean and safe drinking water?

He agrees with me.

I what?

Your mutt must cost you, what?

1500 pounds a year?

How much you give to charities like oxfam

and save the children?

I do me bit.

What do you get in return?

A slathering, fawning slave who encourages

all your worst fascistic tendencies.

[Scoffs] I'm the fascist?

If it's any consolation, I don't like cats, either.

No, I know.

But look, look, you're obviously an educated man.

Why'd you work in an abattoir?

'Cause I enjoy it.

[Creepy music]

[Sandra] Mr. James farlow?

Yes?

Hello, I'm detective superintendent Pullman,

this is Jack halford, thank you for agreeing to see us.

I can't believe this has started again.

Do come in, please.

Thanks very much.

Do come through,

oh, I'm sorry about the mess.

[Jack] Oh, something smells nice.

Ah, you've been to the arctic?

Antarctic, I was an animal welfare officer

on one of the survey teams.

But you were the canine society field officer

at the time of the original dog killings, yes?

That's right, do sit down.

- Thank you. - Thank you.

Yes, I used to go out on patrol

and investigate any reports of canine cruelty

that were phoned through to us.

And you were the first to raise the alarm?

I tried to, but neither the police nor the authorities

took me seriously, thought I was some sort of animal crank.

That must've changed, though?

Oh yes, once the killings hit the press,

it was mass hysteria.

Why do you think they stopped?

I don't know, maybe it became too dangerous

for the killer.

By the end, there were police everywhere

and people had stopped walking their dogs anyway.

Why do you think he moved on to family pets?

I don't know.

If he stuck to pit bulls and rottweilers,

no one would have bothered.

I think he wanted to send out some sort of message.

What kind of message?

Have you ever heard of the human liberation front?

[Intriguing music]

Sandra!

What?

The human liberation front.

It was a shadowy organisation set up in the mid 1970s

to oppose the growing animal rights movement.

Still around?

No, they folded in 1979.

Ah, just before the dog killings started.

Membership was secret.

But guess who their press officer was?

John Fletcher.

The very same.

And he calls me a fascist!

All right, Brian, you stay with Fletcher.

Gerry, Jack, I'd like you to go up to the Heath

and talk to anyone who uses the park regularly.

[Jack] Okay.

Here, Brian, look,

one dog year equals seven human years, right?

Once their fully grown.

I've just been looking at the victims

of the original investigation.

Look at this, 13 year old pit bull,

11 year old mastiff, 12 year old ridgeback,

13 year old doberman.

Oh, cheers.

What I'm saying is, these dogs are practically geriatric.

I mean, what's so special about old dogs?

See you later.

Right, brass Phillips, brass Phillips,

brass Phillips, silver standard, no brass standard.

Right, well, new jar of your very own, in you go.

[Jar clattering]

Oh, sod it!

Come on, scruffy, let's have a cup of tea.

Ah, hang on, hang on,

put you there, that'll fool her.

[Brian chuckles]

You there.

Come on, scruffy.

Scruffy!

Scruffy?

[Solemn music]

Scruffy?

I think it's how scruffy would have wanted to go.

I'm gonna need some time off,

you know, for the arrangements.

Yes, of course.

What arrangements?

Well, the funeral and so on.

After the service, Esther and I thought

we'd scatter scruffy's ashes at the bottom of the garden.

Under his favourite tree.

Service, as in remembrance service?

It's not compulsory, you know.

No, I just think-

he means, of course, we'll all be there.

You take all the time you need, Brian.

I'll put it down as compassionate leave.

Thank you.

Just make sure you nail that bastard, Fletcher.

[Sandra] We will, I promise.

In our day, we never spoke to the press, did we, Jack?

Yeah, well, we need witnesses.

Oh, down the pub, over a pint, perhaps,

but never on the record.

For god's sake, it's not the nationals!

It's just the local rag.

Yeah, first they give the villains a dopey nickname.

Like the canine crippen.

Yeah, then we get bombarded by weirdos.

Then they doorstep you.

Well, I'm so glad to see

that you've embraced modern police methods

so wholeheartedly.

[Press clamouring]

Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.

I've prepared a short statement.

On Tuesday the 16th of may,

the body of a rottweiler was found on hampstead Heath.

All its organs had been removed.

I cannot believe we're going to a dog's funeral.

Just stop whingeing.

Right, now, show a bit of respect, turn your phones off.

Okay, let's get on with it.

I think dogs get a bad press.

People talk about dogsbodies,

dogs' dinners,

things going to the dogs.

If you're ugly, you're a dog.

If you're mad, you're a dog.

If you're cringing and pathetic, you're a dog.

Well, as far as i'm concerned, that's all slander.

[Phone ringing]

Sorry, Gerry, am I boring you?

No, I'm sorry mate, I'm sorry,

no no, you're right.

No, I thought scruffy was the dog's bollocks, i-

[Sandra coughing]

[Phone beeping]

Bloody hell, Gerry.

If you behaved a bit more like a dog

and a bit less like a thick copper,

you might even pass muster for a human being.

We gotta get out of here.

Yeah, 'cause you've just embarrassed yourself,

I told you, phones off!

They're trying to get hold of you.

There's been another dog murder.

Well, it's the same method.

The only difference is, this time it's not a stray.

Or a pit bull.

It's exactly the same as the original case.

The killer started off with vicious dogs,

then moved on to family pets.

Judging by the meat between the teeth,

this one's a pretty posh one.

It's last meal appears to have been fillet steak.

That doesn't sound right,

the owner was a single mum living on benefits.

And again, there's no weapon, no witnesses.

Any idea how old it was?

13, another old one.

You better check out Fletcher's alibi.

[Jack coughing]

Jack are you all right?

Yes, I just keep getting these coughing fits.

If you were a dog, Jack, i'd be worried about distemper.

[Others chuckle]

But speaking as a vet,

why don't you go to the chemist?

Or doctor?

Or a funeral director.

Well, there's no one more expert on coffin fits, is there?

[Gerry laughs]

[Exciting music]

Same as last time.

Home alone surfing the net.

Here's a search warrant, I want your phone records

and hard disc.

Be my guest.

She's new.

Animal lover too, is she?

Ooh yeah, but she hasn't got a dog.

What happened to your last oppo then?

Man's best friend's best friend?

Compassionate leave.

Oh, lost someone close, has he?

Yes.

The killer only chooses old dogs.

Why do you think that is?

Stupidity.

If he really wanted to make a difference,

he'd start with puppies.

Now, if neither of you two are gonna arrest me,

I need to speak to a solicitor

about a possible case of police harassment.

Bloody hell!

Spent years in the murder squad

and never got more than a few dozen.

Yeah, but four dead dogs and we're buried.

Look, I mean, letters, logged calls, emails, texts.

It'll take us weeks to work through this lot.

What about Fletcher?

Well, his phone records and his hard disc

do prove that his computer was logged onto the web,

but doesn't mean to say he was sitting at the keyboard.

Does it?

And I'd like to see that James farlow again.

Why?

Well, he might give us an insight

into why all our victims are old.

Ah, Mr. Farlow [coughs].

I'm sorry to bother you,

but there's something I'd like to clear up.

Oh dear, what is it now?

I've told you everything I know.

Yes, I'm sure you have, it's just a quick question.

It won't take a minute.

This really isn't a very good time for me, you know.

That's my wife.

I'm sorry, I didn't realise.

They're bringing her back from the hospital.

Of course, I understand.

Perhaps we could arrange for another day.

I don't know, she's dying.

Oh, I am sorry.

I do know what it's like to lose a loved one.

I'll come back later.

No, no. I saw the local paper and, Claire, my wife,

she'd want me to do everything I can to help,

could you just go into the kitchen?

I'll be with you in a minute.

Thank you.

[Melancholy music]

[Sandra] Dog owner number seven.

[Loud knocking]

Hi, Mr. Christie?

- Yeah. - We're from ucos,

I believe you're expecting us?

This is Gerry standing, i'm-

detective superintendent Sandra Pullman,

I remember from the papers.

Nice picture.

Thanks.

Please, come in.

Cheers.

Can I get you a glass of wine?

- Ooh! - Excuse the cliche,

Mr. Christie, but we're on duty.

Tom, and So am I.

- Sorry? - I'm a wine dealer.

The value wine company.

Yeah, I got a couple of bottles off your website.

Here, you haven't gotten any of that 79 Pinot

kicking about, have you?

Ah, no, but I'm just tasting a white burgundy

that I wouldn't mind a second opinion on.

Yeah!

Gerry.

Well how can I be on duty?

I'm not a policeman anymore.

So, Mr. Christie-

Tom, please.

You were walking your dog on hampstead Heath

on the night of the recent dog murder?

Oh, that's right, yeah.

So what did you see?

Well, nothing much.

When you say nothing much?

Mm, bloody hell!

You like?

[Gerry] Yeah.

Do you get the oak?

Absolutely.

And the gooseberry aftertaste?

Yeah, you know your stuff.

Yeah, well I didn't always, used to be in haulage.

Continental runs, friends started asking me to bring back

a couple of cases for them when I crossed the channel.

I hope you paid the duty?

Oh, always.

Anyway, I started picking up a couple of bottles for myself,

then I booked a wine tasting holiday in the loire valley.

Now you're swelling and spitting with the best of them.

Actually, I found a bit of a niche

supplying the armed forces.

Even ship a few cases up to your mob in hendon,

but of course, those probationers

wouldn't know Pinot from piss,

but you, on the other hand,

I reckon you'd care about quality.

Right now, all I care about

is what you saw on the Heath.

Well, I told you there's nothing to report.

Why did you come forward?

Thought you might wanna use this place

as a surveillance point, the view from the bedroom upstairs-

mate, you do not want a load of coppers

tramping through your bedroom.

Don't I?

At first, they thought it was some kind of brain tumour.

And now?

Well, they just don't know.

But whatever it is, it's starting to attack her joints.

[Jack coughing]

Tell me, do you remember anything

about the ages of the dogs that were killed?

No, why?

Well, we get the idea that the killer

only chose old dogs,

and we wondered if you'd noticed anything?

Didn't strike me at the time.

I can't recall any puppies being killed.

Anyway, what kind of psychopath could do such things,

to any innocent creature, young or old?

Now, oh, I'd like your opinion of this.

There we are, if you wouldn't mind,

careful, it might be a bit hot.

Oh, cheers.

Now, what do you think?

That's very tasty.

Doesn't need seasoning?

No, no, seems perfect to me.

Perfect [laughs].

Well, then you should have some.

Oh, thank you.

Yeah, you're right, you've got a fantastic view

of the Heath here.

Spend a lot of time watching your neighbours, do you?

I'm hardly ever here,

that's why you're more than welcome to set up shop.

Okay.

Thanks, I'll bear it in mind.

You know, I always thought I might make a good detective.

Is this some kind of Munchausen by proxy thing,

because surveillance is just that.

There'll be no car chases or shootouts.

Glad to hear it, no, it's just,

there's a bit of sleuthing involved in the wine business.

Really?

All those criminal chardonnays and elusive merlots.

It's a game I play with my clients.

What they drink, how they drink it,

tells you a lot about their character.

Guvner, you ready to go?

Okay, go on then, impress me.

What's your favourite wine?

Chablis, I drink the way I dress [laughs].

Seriously.

Well, it would have to be a good Bordeaux.

Now, you notice the word good,

you know your stuff and how to treat yourself.

You don't get swayed by fashion.

Do you wanna read me fortune as well?

Okay, what about me?

I like a nice fizzy lambrusco.

No, you don't.

No, you haven't met your favourite wine yet.

'Cause no one's had the class to buy it for you.

Well, I hope it's not expensive,

she drinks it by the bucket load.

Thank you, Gerry.

I'll be in touch.

Good.

If I need to use your bedroom for surveillance.

[Intriguing music]

This has just been delivered for you.

[Sandra] Thank you.

Aren't you gonna open it?

Yes, I am.

In private.

[Romantic music]

[Tom] Dear Sandra,

the thought that you might actually be knocking back

cheap lambrusco has been haunting me ever since we met.

Allow me to offer an alternative.

I think you'll find a new favourite amongst them.

- Thank you very much. - Thank you, bye.

Bye bye.

Excuse me, I'm working for the police.

[Runner] Sorry.

[Gerry] Well, well, well, look who we have here.

Oh, hello, hello, I can't take a shortcut

home through the Heath, now, can I?

You can go anywhere you like, guvner,

but first can I have a look in your bag?

Yeah, go on, go on, take a look, yeah.

[Dramatic music]

I use them for work and they needed sharpening.

There's nowhere to sharpen knives in an abattoir?

Of course there is, but I prefer to use my own whetstone.

Why?

It gets a keener edge.

Do you know how many spring lambs we killed last week?

500,000, not to mention 200,000 piglets,

50,000 veal calves and ten million 59 day old chickens.

But that's all right.

Just as long as we're nice to dogs.

Listen, those knives you were carrying are domestic.

So what?

They wouldn't be used in an abattoir.

Well, they're sharper than the knives they supply.

Course, health and safety won't let me use mine,

so I have to sneak them in.

And you expect us to believe

this load of old cobblers, do you?

[Loud knocking]

Can I see you for a moment?

Excuse us.

They found another dog,

they reckon was killed about two hours ago.

He's been here for at least three.

[Gerry] Shit.

[Sandra] How old?

12.

Remember the fillet steak

stuck between the teeth of the last one?

Well, it turns out this dog had had the same final meal.

Now, that can't be a coincidence.

No, so I decided to analyse it, and the meat was doped.

[Gerry] What with?

Traces of mandrake root.

What's that?

It's a rarely used, but very powerful, analgesic,

yeah, but it could still kill them, right?

With a big enough dose, yeah.

So, like a lot of poisons, mandrake in small quantities

has medicinal properties.

You could look at it like, I suppose.

You ought to try it for that cough of yours, kill or cure.

Well, that's pretty much

what the ancient Egyptians thought.

They used it for everything, from a cold cure

to an anaesthetic for serious operations.

Really?

So, we're looking for a compassionate serial killer.

Compassionate?

Even without an alibi, it doesn't sound like Fletcher to me.

[Dogs barking]

So what kind of rescue dog did you have in mind?

I don't care.

White, brown, black, mongrel, any sort will do.

That's so good to hear, so many people traipse in here

with a shopping list, as if we run up dogs to order.

Well, not us.

Any nice puppy will do.

Puppy?

Mm, delicious.

You know, there's something very nostalgic about beef tea.

That's not surprising, since no one's drunk it

since my great gran was alive.

[Gerry] Hello.

- Hello, Brian. - Brian.

How are things?

Bloody awful.

I've been trying to find a puppy to replace scruffy.

Yes, I can see that would be hard.

Hard?

It's impossible.

Last place me and Esther went to

had a policy of turning down anyone over the age of 50.

50?

That's ridiculous.

Tell you, it's easier to adopt a bloody kid.

So I'm coming back to work.

But you're on a doctor's note.

Yeah, well, I'll sign meself on again.

Brian, I'm afraid you can't.

It's nothing personal, it's a health and safety issue,

and the paperwork's already been filed.

So you don't want me either?

[Sombre music]

Brian, Brian?

What do you know about mandrake root?

Nothing, except it was sacred

to the Egyptian dog-headed god, Anubis.

He was the keeper of the poisons, you know.

No, I didn't know.

Bet John Fletcher knows.

Look, Brian, if it helps,

maybe you shouldn't think of scruffy as dead,

but as gone to another place.

It doesn't help.

Not one word, I feel bad enough already.

In that case, I really do need to see a man about a dog.

Whoa, whoa!

Here, you all right?

Yes, I just felt a bit dizzy.

I must've got up too fast.

Jack, you weren't sitting down.

Oh, whatever.

Oh, thank you, that's so kind of you,

I can't promise Claire will notice,

- but do come through. - Thank you.

The doctor's with her now, so we've got a few minutes.

No, I haven't come about the murders,

this is a personal matter, I can come back later.

[James] No, no, it's fine.

It's just that a friend of mine recently lost a dog,

and being quite senior himself,

he's having trouble getting a rescue puppy.

Oh, that's the policy these days, I'm afraid.

Well, I was hoping you might be able to pull a few strings

with the canine protection society.

Oh no, they don't have a dog pound.

No waifs and strays, I'm afraid.

Oh well, I'm sorry to have bothered you.

Oh not at all,

and thanks for the lovely flowers.

Oh, by the way, this is probably nothing,

but when these killings first started,

I remembered one of the owners asking me

to take her dead dog and remove all his organs.

Really?

Mm, but it wasn't something we, as a society,

count countenance, of course.

Can you remember the name of the owner?

No, but her dog was called osiris.

Osiris, now, oh!

[Dramatic music]

Oh, oh, I'm sorry.

I keep getting these dizzy spells.

Oh, I don't like the sound of that,

shall I get Claire's doctor to-

oh no no, please, please, if I could just sit here

and get my breath.

Yes, of course, I'll get you a drink.

[Jack coughing]

[Sombre music]

You haven't eaten anything.

I'm not hungry.

Well, leave it there,

you might change your mind later.

I won't.

Why don't we go for a walk, help you your appetite back?

'Cause I don't want to go for a walk.

I'll get your paper.

Look, I'll get the paper.

Oh, parking 'round here's a nightmare.

[Brian] Gerry?

I made copies of the original files for you to pick at.

Then you can make a start on these.

All right?

You mean, work on the qt?

No, certainly not.

I can't see how Sandra could object

to a little light filing.

[Esther] Tea, Gerry?

Ooh, yes please, yeah.

Look, we still don't know why the killer

moved from strays to family dogs,

or why he only clobbers old ones.

I wonder why he leaves the hearts behind.

Huh, isn't that typical?

They don't give the cause of death here.

[Esther] Kettle's on.

Or here, bloody amateurs.

What kind of investigation was it?

Look, he's getting better by the minute.

Yeah, he's never happy unless he's moaning,

and even then he's not best pleased [chuckles].

[Gentle music]

Brian seems a bit sharp chirpier.

Gerry, do you remember a dog called osiris

in the original spate of murders?

It does sound vaguely familiar, stupid name for a dog.

Well, I've been looking it up-

listen, mate, you've gotta see someone!

I'm fine.

Osiris is Egyptian,

now the pathologist said that mandrake root

was used by the Egyptians, didn't she?

Yeah, yeah.

Coincidence?

No such thing.

Professor styles is an expert in egyptology,

well, she's curator of this museum.

And osiris was her dog, yeah?

Fourth victim, December the 5th, 1979.

Osiris disappeared when we were out for a walk,

and that was the last I saw of him,

until they found his mutilated body.

I can't tell you how upset I was.

I couldn't sleep for months.

How old was he, professor?

He would have been 13.

That's him, there.

What, that little statue?

That's not a statue, detective,

that's his mummy form.

His what?

On his earthly passing, osiris was mummified,

so his essence and his shrunken body

will be preserved for all eternity.

Do you believe in reincarnation?

No, I believe the great god Anubis

will guide me to the life beyond.

So I preserve all his canine descendants

or at least as many as I can.

I'll show you.

Here we have amut, who passed on in 1992.

Isis, nefertiti and tutankhamun

you probably passed in the lower gallery.

Do you mummify them all yourself?

No, it would be too distressing.

And under UK law, it's not permitted anyway.

So I have to send them to america

for the blessings of the hereafter.

And when you pass on, you're expecting to join them?

Yes, I have a provision in my will,

but of course it could be years before our time comes.

Isn't that right, horus?

Excuse me, but what are you feeding him?

Fillet steak

what else would you feed a descendant of a god, detective?

[Brian] So you reckon the probable cause of death

was this mandrake root?

That would be my working hypothesis, yeah,

but I can't be absolutely sure without analysing the liver.

Which isn't there.

Well, could that be the killer's motive for taking it?

He doesn't want us to find the cause of death.

It's possible, I suppose.

But in that case, why bother with the rest of the organs?

He removes everything apart from the heart.

Spleen, pancreas lungs, kidneys, the lot.

To begin with, but in the early cases,

the selection seems random.

But in every instance he always takes the liver.

Who would want dog liver?

Old dog liver.

How long does it take for this mandrake root

to have an effect?

Well, that depends on the size of the dog, of course,

but with a large breed I'd guess, five minutes?

So the victim was poisoned somewhere

which is five dog minutes from here in any direction.

Right.

[Curious music]

So what do you think?

The dogs are anaesthetised with mandrake root

prior to the removal of their organs,

which just happens to be the first step in mummification,

and that certainly puts professor styles in the frame.

Plus, she'd know all about the use of mandrake root

- in ancient Egypt. - Absolutely.

Okay, so she's got the know-how,

but where's the motive?

And why kill your own dog?

Put us off the scent, maybe.

All right, why move from strays to family pets,

and why choose only old dogs?

No, he's right, it's all circumstantial.

We haven't got enough evidence to arrest her.

Yet.

[Curious music]

[Chuckles] I was just trying to be a dog.

Hey, they only think I'm the bloody dog killer, don't they?

No, they don't, no they don't,

I just vouched for you.

Here, you can have this back.

Fillet steak, Gerry,

and I bet you anything it's dosed with mandrake root.

Come on, we'll go and tell Sandra.

Hold on, have you been working on the case?

Cor, she'll have our guts for garters.

She'll know I put you up for it.

I'll just tell her I happened to be walking on the Heath

and I was passing the scene of the crime and-

no, no, you leave the cheating to the man

who's got three ex-wives.

Come on.

So, completely off your own back,

you decided to borrow a retired police dog

from the met sanctuary, and take it down the park?

Yep, make myself a target.

And then tootsie here noses out a couple of pounds

of prime beef, possibly laced with mandrake root.

That's right.

Good work.

Yeah, I thought so.

But there's another thing.

What?

Tom, the wine shipper,

you know, the one who sends all the booze?

Yeah, none of your business.

Well, Tom hasn't got a dog.

What?

Well, think back to when we were at his house,

did you see a dog basket?

A food bowl, any leads, hair on the sofa?

No, 'cause he hasn't got a dog,

and the neighbour confirmed it.

All right, I've never owned a dog.

So why did you say you did?

It wasn't to cause trouble.

Then enlighten me.

I saw you in the paper.

- And? - I liked what I saw.

Yeah, right, pull the other one.

Do you mind?

I want the truth.

It is the truth, I saw you,

and I knew I had to get to know you.

So you made up a pack of lies.

I thought you'd find it romantic,

me risking arrest and public humiliation,

just so I could meet you.

It's a better story for the grandkids

than we met in the pub or at tesco's.

Do you realise this is all going down on tape?

Yeah.

Well, it gives a whole new meaning

to police harassment, don't it?

Will you stop enjoying this?

Nope, can't be done.

I dunno whether to charge you with wasting police time,

or bring in the men with the white coats.

Okay, interview terminated.

Hang on.

Can I see you again?

You're free to go, Mr. Christie.

[Upbeat music]

Something you said has been preying on me mind.

Well, as I explained earlier, we really can't help you.

I know, because I'm too old for a puppy.

That's right.

What about an old rescue dog?

Say, something 10 or 11 years old?

I'm sorry, we don't have any.

What, none at all?

Strays don't get old, Mr. Lane.

They either die or get put down

long before they reach that kind of age.

So you never see any really old dogs?

I'm afraid not, no,

that's answered my question, thank you very much.

I've been thinking about motive.

Now, professor styles believes

in the ancient Egyptian concept of the afterlife

and worships a dog-headed god.

So she says.

Ah, but which one?

Is there more than one?

There are two,

and if she worships the one I think she worships,

I may be able to give you a perfectly rational explanation

for these crimes.

[Mysterious music]

Now, the more famous of the Egyptian dog-headed gods

was Anubis here,

and as far as I can work out, he was the god of embalming,

but there was another one called wepwawet,

who was more associated with the jackal.

You see, when a master died,

his prestige in the life to come

depended on how many slaves and animals.

Were sacrificed to go with him.

But before mummification,

it was wepwawet who consumed their corporeal organs

in order to release their souls from earthly corruption.

That's handy, she's not in.

Oi, that's virtually breaking and entering!

Not if you knock.

[Loud knocking]

You stay here, I'll go and find her,

and don't touch anything!

So, if professor styles is standing in

for wepwa thingamebob, the more animals she kills,

the more comfort and companionship she secures

for herself in the afterworld, right?

Exactly,

and if I'm not mistaken, this is a canopic-

[dramatic music]

Jack, you've gotta see a doctor!

I mean, this might have been priceless!

In fact, it might be, look at that.

- Cheers. - Well, you're right,

all the major organs apart from the heart

are preserved in the jar.

Fillet steak, mandrake root, mummification, yeah,

all beginning to fit.

Except, these aren't animal remains.

They're human.

I've been dreading this call for 25 years.

I knew you'd catch up with me in the end.

You're prepared to make a full confession?

Of course, no point in lying about it now.

You were acting for wepwawet?

Yes, I knew it was against the law,

but I had a religious duty to perform.

So you started with dogs then moved on to humans?

No, I started with Henry.

Henry?

My husband, Mr. Styles.

Those are his organs over there.

It was his dying wish to be mummified.

And I suppose he also told you

that you should go around killing other people's dogs

just to keep him company?

Of course not, my husband loved dogs, as I do.

So you're not confessing to the dog murders, then?

No.

Then what are you confessing to?

Illegally interfering with a corpse,

contrary to the 1847 burial act.

Do you think they'll put me in prison?

[Body thuds]

[Curious music]

Brian, Brian!

Is he all right?

Well, he's not allergic to dogs.

What's wrong with him?

All the symptoms point to some sort of brain tumour.

Symptoms?

What symptoms, nobody told me anything about symptoms?

No, well, there's nothing specific, you know,

bit of dizziness, nausea.

But they won't know for certain

'til they've done some tests.

Well, the good news is I haven't got a brain tumour.

So what's wrong with you?

That's the bad news, they don't know.

Anyway, they're keeping me in for observation.

[Jack coughing]

If you lot really want me to feel better,

you won't come back

'til you've made some progress in this case.

Well, Brian thinks he's found something.

The reason the killer moved on to family pets is,

you just don't get old strays.

Yeah, but that doesn't explain why he only wants old dogs,

does it?

I think he wants the liver.

What?

Well, right from the earliest cases,

the selection of organs has just looked random,

but he always takes the liver.

What's so special about old dog's liver?

Yeah, it's hardly foie Gras, is it?

[Mysterious music]

I can't find me copy of "home of the blizzard"

by sir Douglas mawson.

I've had that book since I was a kid.

The arctic explorer?

No, the antarctic explorer.

It was me favourite book when I was 10 years old,

I would never have chucked that away.

Well, it's gone now.

This charity box was full yesterday.

Yes, I know, so I put a few more things in,

some books, took it down the shop.

Oh no, I was keeping all that.

Why didn't you put it in the keep box, then?

I did, this is why I say,

don't give or Chuck anything away

without checking with me first!

You never know when you might need something.

Which charity shop did you go to?

Gerry, did you ever read a book

called "the home of the blizzard" by sir Douglas mawson

when you were a kid?

I barely got through the "beano".

It was one of the first genuine mysteries

I ever came across.

I suppose I've been fascinated by them ever since.

Brian, what's your sad, anorak childhood

got to do with anything?

Because his colleague, Xavier mertz,

was killed by sir Douglas mawson,

only that didn't come to light

'til 60 years after the event.

Really?

Ah!

Hello, what are you doing here?

I heard you were in hospital,

and when I came to pick up my wife's prescription,

I thought I'd look in.

Oh, that's very nice of you.

Not at all, are you all right?

Well, they think I've got a bit of a virus,

but I'm feeling a lot better.

Good, good, sorry, I didn't have time for grapes, so.

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

Well, I'd better be going.

You look after yourself, all right?

I will.

Thanks again, it's very kind of you.

- Bye. - Bye.

[Jack sighs]

It's a rare thing for anyone to take an interest

in sir Douglas mawson these days.

You amaze me.

What's he got to do with dead dogs?

Everything.

Because it's a classic tale of derring-do

charting mawson's epic journey

across 2000 miles of unexplored polar waste.

Now, when mawson and mertz lost their supplies,

they were left with a single team of huskies

miles from base camp.

At first, everything looked hopeless,

but they trudged on, killing and eating their sled dogs

as they went.

Then, mertz grew weak very quickly.

Mawson insisted that his friend eat something.

He said he should take the soft parts of the dog,

like the livers, but he got worse.

He started suffering dizziness, nausea, stomach cramps.

Get to the point, Brian.

Mertz died a hundred miles from base camp.

Mawson soldiered on alone,

finally arriving to a hero's welcome.

Now, what killed mertz remained a mystery,

until an obscure article

in the new england journal of medicine

suggested that mawson himself

had inadvertently killed his colleague.

So there's something wrong with dog livers?

They're lethally poisonous to human beings.

So, instead of a psychopath,

we're now looking for a poisoner?

Yeah, and the reason why the killer only wants old dogs

is that the older they get,

the more poisonous their livers are.

Why?

Because all the excess vitamin a

that a dog gets from eating other animals

is stored in his liver.

Now, if we eat those livers, we ingest a lethal amount.

And apparently, one single dose of dog's liver

delivers 30,000 times the recommended daily dose

of vitamin a for adults.

Well, how long would that take to kill someone?

Well, obviously that depends on the dose,

but the pathologist said two to three months,

which was just about the length

of the first spate of dog murders.

So we need to go back and look over medical records

and see if we can find the death certificate

of anyone who died of a mysterious illness

at some point during 1979.

Oh, forgot my purse.

No, I've got money, don't, oh,

look what the cat dragged in.

I don't think so.

What are you doing here?

Oh, I got tired of waiting for her majesty's bloodhounds

to sniff the killer out.

Go home, Mr. Fletcher.

But I've come here to help!

Yes, Lassie can't be expected to solve the case

all on her own.

Get on with it.

I did it.

What?

You did it?

I am the killer.

The man you're looking for?

I killed the dogs, every one of them.

This is what you people would call a confession,

or do you need me to start whining,

stick my tail between my legs?

Sandra?

Hang on, as Mr. Fletcher is so keen

to have a look at the interview room,

will you please show him in?

[Officer] Ma'am.

Here's the list, mysterious deaths in 79.

Blimey, is that all?

Well, it's all they'll admit to.

Jennifer farlow.

Excuse me?

Third on the list, Jennifer Rose farlow.

Farlow?

Yeah, that's the same name as Jack's contact, isn't it?

James farlow?

Yeah, the dog protection officer.

It's gotta be.

Right, Gerry, get onto it, I want everything.

Background, health records, family history, the lot.

[Gerry] Okay.

Brian and I'll go and deal with Mr. Fletcher.

Right.

So easy to fool the pathologist about the time of death,

little dose of this, little dose of that.

I killed all those dogs, every single one of them.

So why don't you run us through the details

of your method, then?

Oh, no.

Not until you arrest me and set the pace machine running,

you don't want me to get off on a technicality, do you?

I can begin to see what you're up to now, very clever.

Thank you.

I mean, you had the knives, the motive, the opportunity.

Of course.

And you made perfect incisions.

Well, I'm trained to.

Just one question though.

When you were removing the organs of the dog,

why did you always leave the liver behind?

[Laughs] Why the liver?

Yeah, why did you do that?

Well, I always leave the liver behind-

yeah, you always leave the liver behind.

But why?

Mr. Fletcher, is there anything else

you'd like to confess to?

Shergar, cock Robin, Bambi's mum?

Look, how many times do I have to tell you?

You see, what really interests me

is the kind of dim inadequacy

that leads someone to indulge in such a pathetic fantasy.

Is it the oxygen of publicity

or is it something to do with your mother?

You rattle my cage and I'll rattle yours.

I had you down for a monster, but you're not, are you?

You're just a pathetic little runt.

Could've been a result, though.

You don't get many of them, now, do you?

Remind me,

what's the police clear up from muggings and burglary?

That doesn't matter though, does it?

They're not serious crimes!

They only involve people.

[Ominous music]

So James farlow was married before

and his first wife, Jennifer, died in 1979.

And the dog killing stopped after her death.

According to his bank,

she had a large life insurance policy,

which of course paid out on her mysterious demise.

A year later, he remarried Claire haslam,

15 years his junior, who is the current Mrs. Farlow.

Guess where he worked before coming to London?

He was in the antarctic,

employed by the south Australian survey group

to be their husky welfare officer.

'Course he was.

So he'd have known all about Douglas mawson.

He could practically have written a book on it himself.

But instead, he decides to poison his first wife

and claim the insurance money.

It all fits together, Jack.

Almost the perfect murder.

We just have to work out how he managed

to administer the poison and we're ready to Nick him.

So what do you give someone to eat

when they're already ill and they've got no appetite?

[Mysterious music]

Jesus Christ, Jack,

how much of that stuff have you had?

[Door rattling]

Farlow!

Police, open the door!

[Siren wailing]

[Loud banging]

Oh, please, be quiet!

I don't want Claire upset.

She loses her appetite so easily these days.

- Appetite? - You're poisoning her!

And she's not the first, is she?

How is Jack?

A little remorse will go a long way, Mr. Farlow,

especially where you're going.

Remorse, oh, I did away with that a long time ago.

So it's all just for the money, was it?

Do you know, it was?

And you thought you'd have another go

with wife number two?

Well, how often do you realise

you can commit the perfect crime?

Don't flatter yourself.

Perfect is when you don't get caught.

Oh, come now, that's rather graceless.

It's taken you a couple of decades.

I should imagine the mandrake root puzzled you

a little bit, eh?

Do you know how the ancient Greeks used to uproot the plant?

No, I don't,

perhaps you'll enlighten us down at the station.

I love trivia, all the little tidbits

that no one knows about,

like britain is the eighth largest island in the world,

and the boiling point of water is lower at higher altitudes.

Fascinating.

And the liver of aged dogs

kills beautifully without a trace.

You should have joined a pub quiz.

No, because I'm not a dullard like my wives,

or that idiot you sent to question me,

you should have heard him,

"oh, what a delicious beef tea!

Please sir, may I have some more?"

If you were that clever, you wouldn't have got caught!

True, but there's a certain satisfaction

in how things turned out.

I always hated having to hide my light under a bushel.

Perhaps I'll write a book.

James farlow, I'm arresting you under suspicion

of murdering Jennifer farlow.

You do not have to say anything,

but it may harm your defence

if you do not mention something

which you later rely on in court.

[Gerry] Oi, what you doing?

I'm discharging myself.

Are you sure you're well enough?

I've never felt worse.

Can you believe it?

He tried to kill me!

He poisoned me, Gerry!

And d'you know what really pisses me off?

I let him do it.

I sat and let him systematically poison me!

And d'you know why?

Because I made a fundamental error.

I committed the cardinal sin, I felt sorry for him.

Me!

You think I was old enough to have more sense.

Jack, you flushed him out.

Flush him out, I'll flush him out,

I'll flush him down the nearest flushing lav-

[Jack coughing]

And this bloody cough!

Well, I for one will be happy

if I never see another dog in my life,

but, sadly, that's not gonna happen.

Brian, this is for you mate.

[Brian] Eh?

[All exclaiming]

Where did you get him?

Well, remember when you sent me down the Heath?

There was this little old lady with this dog

and she wanted to find a good home for him.

What's he called?

Well, it could be scampi, couldn't it?

Scampi in a basket [laughs].

Scampi, are you scampi?

'Cause you're a little scamp, aren't you?

Tell you what, Jack,

you've still got those sores on your face?

Sores, what sores?

Very kind of you, I'll have a pint [laughs].

♪ It's all right ♪

♪ it's okay ♪

♪ doesn't really matter if you're old and grey ♪

♪ it's all right, I say ♪

♪ it's okay ♪

♪ listen to what I say ♪

♪ it's all right, doing fine ♪

♪ doesn't really matter if the sun don't shine ♪

♪ it's all right, I say ♪

♪ it's okay ♪

♪ we're getting to the end of the day ♪

♪ high tech, low tech, take your pick ♪

♪ 'cause you can't teach an old dog a brand new trick ♪

♪ I don't care what anybody says ♪

♪ at the end of the day ♪

[Cheerful music]