Original subtitles

[music]

So we have this morning tradition in my country.

Oh.

-Where we take a deep breaths-- -Okay.

And we say, "Hello silence, hello peace".

-Okay. -Try it with me.

[together] Hello silence, hello--

[bell ring] Good morning!

Praise the Lord. This is the day that the

Lord has made and we all need to rejoice and be glad in it.

Goodbye silence, goodbye peace.

Mr. Brown, you're in a good mood.

Sounds like you done won the lottery.

Oh, no, Cora, it's better than that.

Oh, well spill the tea then.

No, no, y'all drink y'all tea. I don't want none.

Well, tell me why you're so happy.

Cause I went out on a date with Sister Gladys last night.

Who is this Sister Gladys?

Oh, she's a new member down at the church.

Who smells like a fresh baked batch of cornbread.

Yeah, but the good kind, not that old nasty kind with the

little corn pieces in it.

Yes, and when she smiles...

it's like sunshine.

When she walks, all the things jiggle in the right places.

36, 24, 56.

Okay.

I think that's what the kids said.

Well, before everything gets jiggling, you know,

in the right places, let's rewind Mr. Brown.

So how is this happening?

You know, it's been a long time since you've been on a date.

Cora, I just took Sister Winifred out on a date

the other night.

Sister Winifred's home going service was during

Obama's administration.

It has been a while since I've been on date then, hasn't it?

It has. So what made you jump back into

the dating pool and ask Sister Gladys out on a date?

I think he already told you. It started with "jiggling",

and ended in "places".

No-- she asked me out. I didn't ask her.

Mr. Brown, you and I are cut from the same wrapper.

I, too, like aggressive women.

I relish in feeling like a small, defenseless honey badger

who's being stalked by the frisky panther.

So-- so where did y'all go out on a date?

Oh, Cora, we went to this fancy restaurant, where they had the

towels that they sit in your lap.

-Like, napkins, they say. -Right.

And the menu didn't even have any lamitation on it.

So did this Sister Gladys pay for the dinner?

And does this incredible woman have some sisters at home

who like sexy African men?

Oh-- I wouldn't let a woman pay on the first date.

Oh, well, good for you Mr. Brown.

Good first date.

Yeah, and woo, Cora, it's the best first date I ever had.

And, you know, on the way to the restaurant we discovered that

we both like the same music.

Oh, that makes sense.

You met in church, she likes church music...

No, uh-uh, we was listening to Doug E. Fresh.

Oh, Sister Gladys likes Doug E. Fresh?

Yes, Cora.

And you'll never guess what else we discovered.

-What? -We both like to do kung-fu

in the garage.

And her favorite color-- just like mine--

rainbow-- all of 'em.

Wow.

And you'll never guess what her favorite animal is...

just like mine-- the wholphin.

And what manner of creature is a wholphin?

It's a half whale, half dolphin. Where you been?

Well, that's incredible Mr. Brown.

Y'all sound like the perfect match.

-Yes. -So y'all going out

on a date again?

I'm about to pick her up in 20 minutes and take her breakfast.

-Oh. [Mr. Brown] Yeah, Cora.

Oh, I feel so good in my heart.

-[Cora] All right. -Oh, I'm in love, almost.

They're going to have a wholiphine good time.

Let's do our breathing. Let's do our breathing.

[inhale] [exhale]

[bell ring] Cora!

-What? -Let me borrow $20 so I can get

some breakfast for us.

[music]

[theme song]

♪ No matter what you do, I love you ♪

♪ No matter where you go, I'm behind you for sure ♪

♪ Always remember, blood ain't never water ♪

♪ We'll make it if we stay together ♪

[music]

Since you're leaving for college,

can I have your dresser? I need more space.

Sure.

Oh, can I also have your laptop, Bluetooth speaker, and your

wireless phone charger?

Okay, I'm going to college, not the cemetery.

So...that's a no?

Look, you're so silly, so I don't even know why I'm asking

your opinion on this, but--

do you think mom and dad will let me go to a college party?

When you're in college, yes.

No, no, no-- do you think mom and dad

will let me go to a college party this weekend?

You called me silly.

Okay, but I'm going to be in college in a few months.

What's the difference?

Ask a pregnant woman if there's a difference

between a few months.

The point is, you're not in college yet.

If this were ninety days from now, and I was moving

into my dorm, I could totally go.

What's the big deal?

I see where you're coming from,

but I don't think mom and dad will.

Wait a minute-- so, we both agree

that there is nothing wrong with me and my friends going to a

college party...in theory.

In theory...yes.

And we both agree that mom and dad won't let me go.

In reality...yes.

So, given all that, how can I go to the party

without mom and dad going berserk?

You can't.

Or can I?

What if I sleep over at Courtney's, and then,

me and my friends sneak out and we go to the party?

Uh,uh, I mean, I guess that could--

Thank you! Phillip, honestly,

I couldn't have done this without you.

Yes, you could've because none of that was my plan.

Okay, for the record, it was Courtney's idea,

but you talking it over with me just now made me feel like we

both agreed it was a good idea.

And, in that case, if mom and dad somehow manage to catch me,

maybe you'll get yelled at too.

You know, for aiding and abetting.

Wait, what? No!

Thanks, Phillip. I'm going to go ask mom and dad.

[grunt]

Hey, mom, can I go to a

sleepover at Courtney's on Friday?

Sure, I know Courtney's mother.

Yay.

So Sandra, what fun things are you and Courtney

cooking up for your sleepover?

Yeah, Sandra, what fun things are you guys cooking up?

Let's hear it.

Oh, you know, just some... fun things.

You guys okay with that answer?

She didn't really answer the question.

Phillip.

I did answer the question. I said, "some fun things."

[music]

Efe, look at you in this shirt!

Is that new?

That's something they just flew in from the Mama Land?

I like that!

That is nice! What is this?

Oh, I like the way it's shinning on you.

That look good on you. You should wear that every day.

It'd make your face look better. I like that!

It looks good on you!

And Anastasia, what kind of perfume--

girl?

You must have on some-- I know, I know my perfumes.

That's got to be...

[with French accent] en cinnamon and sugar.

How dare you! This is fine French perfume.

Well, it smells like it's French.

Hey, Cora, look at my baby.

-Hey, Mr. Brown. -Look at my baby.

Girl, look at you. Hey, you know what?

I miss you so much.

Mr. Brown, I just saw you this morning.

What did Mr. Brown have for lunch?

And where can I get some?

Well, you know he's been going on the dates with Sister Gladys.

She's the only one that can make him smile like that.

Yep. She make me happy.

So I know you like to do it big when you go on dates--

[Mr. Brown] Yeah, yep.

For fancy restaurants, wine tastings--

so where did you go this time?

We usually go to fancy restaurants and stuff like that,

but Sister Gladys said, well, nah, we should just

lay low and just hang out-- just chill.

You know, so we can spend some quality time with each other.

Oh, okay, so, well, what'd y'all wind up doing?

Well, uh, I wanted to listen to some old hip hop

remixed cassettes.

You know, I'd say, you do the rap part

and then I'll do the beatbox.

And I just started beatboxing...

Can you move your mouth?

I'm taking on friendly fire here.

Well, that sounded like fun, Mr. Brown.

Well, she didn't want to do that.

Oh, why not?

Well, cause she said she had already listened to some hip hop

cassettes before we got there,

and her ears was hurtin'.

Well, I can understand that. So what did you do?

Well, I say-- you know what I told her?

I said, how about if we go in the garage

and we practice kung fu?

Because both of us like to do kung fu in the garage.

And then, I was just like--

Let me guess--

she declined.

How you know?

Well, only because...

she said, before I got there,

she had already went in the garage and did her karate,

and her feet was hurtin'.

So that's why she didn't want to do it.

Strike two,

So where did y'all wind up going?

We went to the mall.

Oh, to the food court

for a quick, affordable bite to eat.

No, no, she wanted to pay her cell phone bill.

So she had to go in person?

No, she wanted to get a new cell phone.

Yeah, she wanted a bigger screen so when we video chat,

she could see my whole face.

She said, "I want to see your whole face."

And they had a deal on 'em

so I didn't see nothing wrong with it.

Wait. Wait, wait, wait.

Please tell me you did not pay that woman's cell phone bill,

and buy her a new cell phone.

Huh?

Uh, excuse me.

Uh, Mr. Brown, please tell me that Sister Gladys

paid for her cell phone bill.

And paid for her cell phone.

Huh?

Y'all know I didn't pay for all that stuff.

Who y'all think I am, Boo-Boo The Fool?

No comment.

This puzzle we're doing here may be hard...

but the puzzle of Mr. Brown's relationship

is not as difficult to solve.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Now, she asked him out on the first date.

Pretends to like his hobbies.

Every date is an expensive one.

Yeah, so, they've only been dating a week.

He's paid for her phone bill.

He's paid for a new cell phone.

Mr. Brown is dating a gold digger!

[music]

[music]

Guys, what are we going to do?

We cannot let Mr. Brown date a gold digger.

We have a saying in my country...

Remove a hippo from the mud at dawn,

it will be covered in mud at sundown.

Efe, what are you saying?

Maybe we're trying to save Brown from a situation he does not

want to be rescued from.

You think so?

I have been on the arm of many a wealthy man in my time

and I found that both parties involved, more times than not,

agree to the arrangement.

Maybe Mr. Brown is just having some fun.

Well, spending time with her does make him happy.

Maybe it's best we sit back and allow Brown to have

the time of his life.

And trust that he will see the relationship for what it is

and make the best decisions.

Okay, I gotta tell y'all something.

I'm going ring shopping.

What the what?!

Cora, I say that, "what the what."

You don't say that.

I'm going ring shopping. I'ma buy Sister Gladys a ring.

Are you sure about this? Marriage is a very big step.

What, nobody gettin' married. I ain't stupid.

Oh, thank god. You scared me

for a minute there, Mr. Brown.

I'm buying Gladys a promise ring.

And what exactly are you promising?

We're promising that we will be exclusive boos.

That's what we call each other. We call each other, boo.

She say, "Hey, boo."

And we promise that we're going to make our love and

our relationship go to a higher height.

-Mr. Brown-- -[Mr. Brown] Hmm?

The promise ring-- is this Miss Gladys' idea?

Cora, how you know?

Cora, you know your daddy don't ya?

You know I--

Hey, Miss Gladys-- she is so nice to me Cora.

Sometimes she just too nice. I don't even know what to do.

-You know what she did? -Um.

She texted me her ring size.

Cause I was thinking, if I'ma buy a ring,

how am I'ma know your ring size?

Then I said, "Well, what kind of ring am I gonna buy?"

She text me the kind of diamond she want too, Cora.

And then, you know what? I don't know where to go

buy no diamonds cause I don't ever buy no diamonds.

She text me where to go buy the diamonds, exactly.

Cause that way I wouldn't have to think too much.

Ain't she nice?

Mr. Brown, has that ever been a problem of yours--

thinking too hard?

Just asking for a friend.

Mr. Brown, don't you think this is all happening too fast?

No, Cora.

Which leads me into what I need to tell y'all next.

-I got a confession to make. -Ah!

Now it all makes sense!

-What? -What?

Why you're rushing into this relationship.

Sister Gladys is pregnant. Of course!

Nu-uh. We ain't been doing no love.

I ain't even got to second base yet.

Oh, that's TMI, right there.

Sister Gladys is not pregnant.

My confession is...

wait for it...

wait for it...

I'm in love!

Officially, I'm in love!

Mr. Brown, wait, wait.

Love is a strong word, Mr. Brown.

Y'all haven't even known each other that long yet.

Cora, when you know...

when you know you're in love...

there's a certain feeling it will make you feel, Cora.

It'll just make you stay up ♪ all night long ♪

Cora--

I'm in love. Yes!

[music]

Oh, my dear sister, Sandra--

You know, I'm really going to miss you when you go to college.

Aw, I'm going to miss spending time with my little brother too.

Okay, okay, could you not? It took a while

for it to get like this. Can you

-give me some space, please? -Okay.

And, no. I mean, I'm going to miss

watching you get in trouble.

Cause those are like action movies, with all the yelling

and the arms waving.

Tomorrow's movie is going to be epic when mom and dad find out

you went to that college party.

-Sandra-- -Ah.

What time are you going to Courtney's for your sleepover?

Your father and I need to know

so we can coordinate who's going to take you.

Leah and Jeremy, great timing, great timing.

I beg your pardon?

I'm sorry. Continue--

Actually, mom... I'm not going.

Dang!

You were all excited. What changed your mind?

Yeah, what changed your mind?

Oh, you know...

No, no, no, they don't know. That's why they asked.

Please, let us know.

What's wrong with your brother? What's going on?

Oh, you know, he's just-- He's being Phillip-y.

We just want to know what changed your mind?

Seems a little suspicious. Right, dad?

Would you stop?

Dang, girl.

Look, mom and dad...

Okay, I was going to go to the sleepover, and then, me and my

friends were going to sneak out and go to a party.

Really? What kind of party?

Phillip.

What, it seemed like an important detail.

Here's an important detail..

you leaving.

Your mom and I need to talk to your sister alone.

-Come on. -Fine.

This, "Sandra Gets in Trouble part fifty-two," movie is whack.

I want my money back.

So, what's this your brother's talking about?

What kind of party?

-A college par-- -A college party!

Do, do you know what goes on at college parties?

Underage drinking, reckless behavior, random hook-ups--

Do you think that's a place for high school girls

like you to be?

Come on, Sandra, use your head.

I did. That's why I didn't go.

Oh. Yeah, well, good.

Very, very, very, good.

Your father and I are proud of you.

[breathing out] Woo.

You know, your mother and I, we were just talking about how

we're a little bit worried about

you... our baby girl...

going off to college and being alone in these dorms this fall.

Mm-hmm, nobody to tell you what you shouldn't do,

where you shouldn't go.

Yeah, but this one decision you made today...

it lets us know that you're ready to be off on your own

and making the right decisions.

Thank you, guys. But you're wrong, you know.

There will be someone there telling me those things.

-Who? -Your voices...

in my head, reminding me to do the right thing.

Yes.

And I'm thankful for it.

Mmm, I love you, baby.

Woo, Cora, I'ma go on and pick up my date.

My poopsie-poo-- I'm going to pick her up today.

-Your poopsie-poo? -Yeah.

Oh, so that's what you call Sister Gladys now?

Yeah, I wanted to call her bacon because I love me some bacon,

but she told me, "Don't you call me that. Don't do that."

So she actually didn't pretend to like everything you do...

for once?

What's that supposed to mean?

Mr. Brown, I hate to rain on your parade,

but your forecast is cloudy.

Wha-- what's that supposed to mean?

Wolf in sheep clothing.

What you trying to say, Cora?

Sister Gladys is a gold digger. Okay, I said it.

Cora, what the what? You know what?

I can't believe you would say something like and be so

disrespectful to me.

Mr. Brown, I'm not being disrespectful to you.

I'm just trying to help you!

The Bible says, "thou shall not hateth on thy fathereth,"

and you hate me.

No, Mr. Brown, I'm only trying to help you.

You ain't trying to help me. You trying to hate me.

-I am not! -Look at you hating on me.

Just sittin' there hating on me.

-I am not! -[Mr. Brown] Yes, you are.

Ms. Anastasia, excuse me--

can you do me a favor? You know a lot about women.

Certainly.

-Can you please just describe-- -Sister Gladys?

Yes, yes.

-She's a very, very, nice-- -I told ya!

Gold digger!

Oh-- what the what?

I'm sorry, Mr. Brown,

but I know the species very well.

Their habitat ranges from country clubs,

to VIP seating, and even church pews.

Their diet consists of wealthy men who are unknowing

and willing to believe anything,

even that a woman will do karate in her garage.

Okay, you're not fittin' to sit up here and tell me that

she don't do karate in her garage,

cause that's her passion.

And there ain't no way you can fake a, "ki-ai'.

-Oh, really? -Really!

"Aaaat"

Maybe you could make a kiai, but...but...

I'm in love with her, and she in love with me!

And there ain't nothing nair-one of y'all can tell me

to convince me otherwise.

Mr. Brown, all of the ladies down at the church know

that you have a little money.

I mean, they talk.

And then, we have a new Sister and all of a sudden,

she like everything about you--

I mean, your colors, your music--

And coincidentally, she doesn't want to do any of these

activities that you supposedly have in common.

Yes, Mr. Brown. And you've paying for all the

expensive dinners.

And everything is coming out of your pocket.

Five-Star restaurants--

-You paid her cell phone bill. -Yes.

You bought her a new cell phone.

The woman sent you the specs for the diamond ring that she wants.

Mr. Brown, you just met her recently.

Don't you think this is, like, too much too soon?

Cora I know'd you all your life and I never thought you'd

be the one to make these false accusations

like this against me.

You've created falsehood.

Mr. Brown, I'm only trying to look out for you,

and protect you.

You're trying to look for yourself.

You're jealous. You're sittin' here looking at me deliberately

trying to be jealous.

And I'm not finna' to let you steal my joy!

That's what I'm not finna' let nair-one of y'all to do.

I am not--

I am not jealous!

Nair-one!

[music]

[music]

-Hey, Cora. -Hey, Mr. Brown.

You're a little overdressed for bingo.

I ain't here for bingo.

Well, you know what, before you say anything, Mr. Brown,

let me apologize.

Apologize for what?

I want to apologize for calling Sister Gladys a gold digger.

Mr. Brown, my heart was in the right place.

I was just trying to protect you.

You know, it's not that I don't want you to love again.

I want you to have somebody, but--

well, maybe Sister Gladys recognizes...

what I've known my whole life.

What's that, Cora?

That Leroy S. Brown is a wonderful, and a good man.

Maybe her heart is in the right place.

Nah, it's not, Cora. She's a gold digger.

I was going to pick her up in a limousine, she gonna call me

and say, "Is it a stretch?"

I just made a U-turn and just-- I left her standing right there.

I hope she was standing outside waiting too.

Oh, Mr. Brown, I'm so sorry.

She a gold digger, Cora. You was right.

Well, maybe this experience will help you get back out there

in the dating world.

You know, there's plenty of fish in the sea,

and I'm sure you'll find the right one.

-Yeah. -And maybe I can

kinda help you out.

I maybe could hook you up with

Sister Bertha down at the church.

Sister Bertha with the...?

That is.

You talkin'-- they even say she got a...

I don't know nothin' about that Mr. Brown.

Not that I've been looking while she's going to do the offering,

and I just seen, just--

Cora, I got dizzy one day lookin' at --

I wasn't looking.

She's coming over here for bingo.

-What?! -Yeah.

Call her, Cora, make sure she's coming!

She's coming.

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