Original subtitles

- ♪

- If I wanted an out-of-network anesthesiologist,

I woulda asked for one. Yeah, okay.

Well, I bet your conscience is as clear as my canal

right now, dropping this extra 2,000 on me.

- Baby, good morning.

What's got you all hot and bothered?

- Man, unexpected medical bills.

You know, they coulda just numbed me up with a

pint of bourbon for $25.

- Hey, can one of you guys sign this?

It's for my senior dues. We still owe $245.

- Do they accept Monopoly money?

- Hey, hey, hey, Dad, have you seen my laptop?

- No, but I hope you find it, or else Dad might have you

etching your homework on concrete tablets.

- If it wasn't issued by the school,

that's exactly what he'd be doing.

Matter of fact, them holy tablets will actually

probably help you with your grades.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, Dad, Dad, Dad.

The new Currys just dropped on HotBox.

Can I get...

- A job? You can get a job.

- No, the new Currys, the new Currys.

- How 'bout you get the Furrys? - PHILIP: What are those?

- Those are the fake Currys. They look just like 'em.

- No, Dad, I'm serious. These are limited edition.

And if we pay in 10 minutes, we can get 'em half off.

- How much is half off?

- $950 plus shipping and handling, and fees, and tax.

- Son, let me ask you a question.

When you play ball with your friends, how much money

do you make every time you make a basket?

- Carry the one. N...nothing.

- Babe, do me a favor. Can you go in your purse

and give Philip nothing for his sneakers?

- I guess you don't wanna see this car note, then, huh?

- Yo, we might as well just take a speed walking class

and trade the car in.

- Baby, what's wrong?

- [sighs] More month at the end of my money.

I'm tired of this, yo. This check-to-check thing,

this can't be my future.

We need to have a talk.

- Do I need to sit down?

- Yeah, you might want to.

- Okay, well now, if you leaving me

for a younger woman, I'm gonna need about five minutes, okay?

'Cause I need to go warm up my grease,

get my petroleum jelly and take these earrings off.

- Yeah, you know I would never do that.

Sit down.

- [Leah sighs]

- My old boss called about a position that's opening.

- No, Jeremy, no, no, no. Not that shady man, no.

- Well, they offering almost double what I was making before.

- Are you seriously considering that?

- We're having our own house, four bedrooms to us,

nobody else? Saving for our retirement.

Being able to meet up with old friends and family

and going to our favorite stepping spots.

- Well, if you put it all like that then,

it might be time to head on back to Chi Town, baby...

- Exactly.

- ♪

- ♪

- ♪ No matter what you do, I love you ♪

♪ No matter where you go, I'm behind you for sure ♪

♪ Always remember, blood ain't never water ♪

♪ We'll make it if we stay together ♪

- ♪

- Look, if Mom and Dad find out I lost my laptop,

I'm done. I mean, the school is

charging $500 for lost electronics.

- You better get out and make some money then.

- By doing what?

- Well, the Get Rich Tax Service down the street

is looking for a new corner sign spinner.

Although I heard the last one got hit by a bus.

- What?

You know what? I'm just gonna sell my J's

on HotBox until I make enough money to pay the fine.

- Okay, but what are you gonna do when Mom and Dad

ask about the laptop?

- Uh, that's easy. I'm just gonna say you

borrowed it and lost it. Duh.

- [knocking]

- What did we do? - What did we do now?

- Y'all ain't in any trouble.

- Okay, well, when you both come in here,

that's usually what it means.

- Your father and I have something to tell you two.

- Philip was adopted and is moving to live

with his real family?

- [sighs] My old boss called and offered me my job back

with a big raise.

- Are you saying what we think you're saying?

- We're moving back to Chicago.

- BOTH: We're moving back to Chicago!

We're moving back to Chicago!

- And you thought they was gonna be mad.

- This means I get my privacy back.

And when I wake up in the morning, I don't have to look

at this, this ogre.

- You know what? I will miss your

morning breath putting me back to sleep.

- You can't tell anyone yet, so I want you two

to keep it to yourselves.

- Grandpa Vinny is gonna be shocked.

- Yeah, I feel bad. I'm gonna miss Grandpa Vinny.

- Your grandpa is old and he's been through enough

to handle it. He may feel a little betrayed

and abandoned at first, uh...

- Yeah, but look, he already knew this wasn't

no permanent situation, all right?

So he's gonna have to adjust.

And he's gonna have to adjust quickly because we're leaving

in three weeks.

- We're moving back to Chicago!

We're moving back to Chicago!

- ♪

- Mom, I am donating my wardrobe and going shopping.

Since we've been living with old people,

all my clothes just feel old.

- Hey, your brother's been in and out a lot.

- I don't know nothing. I'm not a snitch.

- [sighs]

Well, it's official.

I called my boss and told him we ready to move forward.

- [sighs]

Okay. We are doing it.

It's not gonna be that big of an adjustment, right?

- Nah, we ain't been gone that long.

Plus, I'm sure the residents will be happy to have four

less people around here in their business.

- [doorbell] - [laughter]

- Anastasia, I didn't know you drove like that.

- Driving people crazy! I'm sure that's the

first time that place has called a real cop

to pull over a go-kart for a moving violation.

- Y'all, Seniors Drive Til You Drop was a hit.

- Literally.

- And we brought back some goodies.

It took me 15 tries to win these glow balls

for the kids to put in their room. See, it's sticky.

- [laughter]

- And I tight-roped over water to win

this watch for Philip.

- Aw.

- And I dove 12-feet down into a hole pit

to win this for Sandra.

- And this is for the two of you.

I'm going to put a picture of our big, happy household

in it just for you. Isn't it beautiful?

Beautiful just like the two of you.

- This is nice.

- Oh, Lord, what a day.

- [laughter]

- ♪

- ♪

- [cheering on TV]

- Hey y'all, this part always makes me cry.

A beautiful family split apart by hunters.

- You do realize you're talking about squirrels.

- What is this, Vinny?

- A petition for me to stay in this house.

Management wants me evicted.

- Now, wait, why would they do that?

- I can think of a few reasons.

- I will sign for that. I like you here.

You're like family.

- Uh, I'll sign, because if you were to leave

who would I make fun of?

- Hey, how are you all doing?

- Uh, we good. How about your backstabbing self?

- Uh, we good. Just cleaning out the house,

tossing out our old stuff.

- Mm-hmm, see what I'm talking about?

- Mm-hmm.

- Hey, hey, hey, everybody. Me and Mr. Brown

just came from church. We just wanted to pop by

and see how everything is going.

- How's it going or who's going?

- Somebody going somewhere? Says who?

- I don't know. Maybe say you.

- Who's in first? - Not today, Efe. Not today.

- Uh, why is the Tyson grill packed up in a box?

- Oh, that. Uh, we were gonna cook

some hamburgers upstairs.

- In a box?

- Catches all the drippings.

- That's weird.

- Hey, Jeremy, what's the bubble wrap for?

- Oh, you know, things that we do in private

we don't usually discuss in public.

- Stop being nasty.

- Hey, Dad, I brought some more tape.

- Oh, uh, yeah, to make the bubble wrap stick.

- Are you role-playing as blow-up dummies?

- My third husband and I tried that once.

Had a hell of a time unwrapping.

- So I see boxes and,

what's...you got bubble wrap and tape.

What's going on?

- Tell 'em. My own blood trying

to give me the boot. Trying to evict me.

- Evict you?

- Okay, if it was you that flooded that toilet

when nobody else can use it, you not getting

your security deposit back.

- I overheard you talking about me, but I have

a signed petition.

- Wow, three whole signatures. You did that thing.

- Grandpa Vinny, nobody's trying to put you out.

- And if they did, me and Sandra are going with you,

because you're more fun, anyways, no offense.

- We were just saying how we'll miss you.

- Miss us?

- Wait a minute, what, where y'all going?

- [sighs] My old boss called and offered me a job.

We going back to Chicago.

- Chicago?

- Chicago? I tell you, y'all not getting

y'all security deposit back since y'all fixing to leave

and go to Chicago.

Pack up without us even knowing.

- They telling us now, Mr. Brown.

- Well, they done packed up already, so that mean

they already ready to leave. - Well...

- ♪

- ♪

- Well, we can't just sit here like hurt puppies.

The man has a family to tend to and we've got

to respect that.

- I'm not going to just roll over and take it.

I say we fight for them to stay.

We're throwing a don't go away party.

- What is that?

- A celebration that says you mean a lot to us

and we want you to stay.

- It's like Reggie says, the man has his own family,

and he seems to be happy, so why try to stop him?

- Well, it look like I'm gonna have to move in here

until we can find new management.

- Oh hell no, we need to start that

don't go away party right away, uh-uh.

- [chatter] - He might move in.

- Y'all that excited, huh?

Jeremy, don't you think it's too sudden?

Don't you think y'all should take a couple years

and just think this through?

- A couple years, Mr. Brown? - Yeah.

- You only get a few openings in life

and this is one of 'em.

- Well, openings are overrated.

And them kids, they keep us young around here.

- Mr. Brown, I found a temp agency

that can fill Jeremy's position until we

find somebody permanent.

- [sighs] It's gonna be weird around here

for the residents.

- Yes, it will, but God willing, but sweetheart,

you still got a lotta life in ya.

And we just want you to just spread your wings and fly.

- Oh, Cora, just 'cause somebody got wings,

don't mean they gotta fly the coop.

- Mr. Brown, it's not gonna be that bad.

We can still video chat. - Right.

- Every day?

- Right.

- Every morning and every night?

- Right.

- [laughs] Mr. Brown, they can come and visit

for holidays and everything. - Yep.

- Okay, and we can take a trip up there

and then we can spend a couple months with 'em, right?

- Uh, yeah, you pushing it now. - Right.

- Cora? - Yes?

- Cora, who gonna help us run this place?

There's too many crazy people out there.

- Mr. Brown, we can do background checks.

- Cora, there's a whole bunch of people with

no records that's kinda axe murderers or something.

They could be crazy.

What if they can't fix stuff that need fixing around here?

- Well, we'll find someone who can fix it.

- And who gonna help keep the residents in check?

- That's what me and you are for.

- And what about playing board games with the kids?

And we had the cupcakes. We were baking

with all the sprinkles and the colors.

- Mr. Brown, well, I mean, they have to grow up.

- [sobbing]

- Mr. Brown, are you about to, are you about to cry?

- Ain't nobody crying, Cora. - Let me see.

- [chatter]

- You about to cry. - Cora, I ain't nobody...

Cora, stop, ain't nobody... 'bout to cry!

- You are about to cry. Oh, you are...

- It's allergy season and I'm sneezing.

Achoo.

Ain't nobody crying, nobody...

- ♪

- Hello?

You need me to go right now?

Well, what you wearing?

Oh, oh, oh. Yeah, no, no, no, no, no.

We can't meet at my house.

No, no, let's meet somewhere private.

Look, look, don't worry, I got what you need.

I got what you want.

I mean, you know me. Aight, aight, bet. Cool.

Nice.

- Who's meeting where to go who?

- Oh, oh, whoa, whoa, what are you, 007?

- Well, I can be double oh ass whooping

if you don't tell me what's going on.

- Relax. Just don't tell my parents.

Okay? - Okay, what's going on?

- All right, so look. I lost my

school-issued laptop and I been

reselling high tops so I can pay for the fine.

- Oh, okay, okay. You're making your own dough

to pay your own debts. That's pretty responsible.

- Yeah, well, Dad's been complaining about money

and I didn't wanna have to pay for it.

- Well, things are gonna turn around as soon as your Dad

get that new job, man.

- Yeah, I know. Having a big job ain't no joke.

These customers are demanding.

- Tell me about it, man. Wait til you get a girlfriend.

I was thinking you was having girl problems.

- Man, I wish.

Only girl problems I got is Sandra.

She making me pay her a percentage of my sales

as hush money.

- How much you paying her?

- Don't tell me you want in on it too?

- No, I'll talk to her for you. - For real?

- Yeah. - You'd do that?

- I'll do it. - Okay.

- Mm-hmm, it'll be hush money for hush money.

- You really gonna make me pay you hush money for hush money?

- Hush, boy. Come on, now.

- [crickets]

- You know, I've never heard of a don't go away party.

- Me either.

But I did throw my second husband a go away party.

- What?

- Girl, I packed all his clothes and left 'em

at the door as gifts, and then begged him not

to come back.

- [laughter] - That's a new one.

- [Efe humming]

- Oh! - [chatter]

- Hey. - Wow.

- Good job, guys. It looks great.

- You guys outdid yourself. - CORA: Looks great.

- Yeah, it looks great. Whatever.

- Love me, don't leave me. A plea from a desperate man.

- [laughter]

- I got this shirt from my momma, so if you talk

about the shirt, you talking about my momma.

And don't say nothing about my momma, or this gonna be

a putting you away party.

- Oh, Brown, you ain't gonna do a damn thing.

- That's, when I move in here that's the first thing

I'm doing, I'm putting you away. - No, man, no, no, no, no.

Bring it! Bring it! - Okay, would you two just hush?

- Cora, he started it. - No, he started it.

- Leah, Jeremy, kids? Come on in.

- Yay. - [applause]

- CORA: Surprise. - They don't wanna be here.

- I've never had a don't go away party.

- Well, maybe folks don't mind if you went away.

- Vinny! Where's Jeremy?

- Oh, well, he's talking to his company.

He'll be right down. - Okay.

- We have some of your favorite snacks and drinks.

- Yeah.

- 'Cause y'all so very special to us.

- Aw, a picture from my prom when I got ditched.

- That's when I drove Ms. Anastasia

and Grandpa Vinny said I was driving Miss Crazy.

- [laughter]

- Mm, this is the date night that got canceled because

Grandpa Vinny said he thought he had chicken pox.

So...we stayed home to look after you.

- Aw, that was nice. We gon', we gon' really miss y'all.

- Are you crying?

- No, ain't nobody crying! Allergies.

I got allergies. Look.

- The house won't be the same without you guys.

- For any of us.

Please don't let Brown move in.

- It'll be an adjustment for all of us.

- Well, since you leaving and we can't stop you,

I have a few confessions to make.

- What? Okay, Vinny.

- [unintelligible] Vinny.

- I'm scared. You got me nervous.

- [laughter]

- All right, Sandra, your prom date

didn't ditch you, okay?

I called that boy up and told him if he planned

to get to first base with my granddaughter,

he need to take his stick elsewhere, okay?

- Vinny!

- I guess you did me a favor, Grandpa.

- And Leah, when you and Jeremy wanted to have that

date night and I was the only resident here,

I wasn't sick, I was lonely.

- Well, I'm glad we stayed back.

- And that time when Jeremy went to jail...

- There was more than one of them.

- Well, I went down there and gave those cops a piece

of my mind and that's why he raised the bail

so we couldn't afford it.

- And I had to call a friend to get it reduced back.

- Well, Grandpa, we know you did it out of love.

So we're still gonna miss you.

- Or not. - What?

- Looks like y'all don't go away party actually worked.

- Oh, well...

- Yeah, yeah, Mr. Freeman gave my job

to another candidate. Heard she walked in

with some red bottoms on and walked out with my job.

- Wow. - Whoa.

- Does this mean we have to stay in the house of antiques?

- Wait, wait, so you're saying I have to keep

seeing the wicked witch of the east when I wake up?

This is sick.

- Guys, I'm... - You don't deserve this.

- The beautiful sound of upset children.

- That's all right, Jeremy. When one door close,

God'll open another one. - Amen.

- VINNY: He do. - EFE: You're right.

- And Leah, Jeremy, I know this may sound selfish,

but we're thrilled you aren't going away!

Yay! - [laughter]

- Well, what up, kiddos?

- Hey.

- Now, look, I know you two are probably disappointed

knowing that you can't go to school and see,

uh, some of your old friends and hang out

at restaurants, and skating rinks, and,

you know, amusement parks. - We get it, Grandpa.

- Well, since you don't feel like talking,

I guess you won't want any of these parting gifts

I have for the two of you. - Hold on, hold on,

I don't know why she said we. I can talk.

- Here you go. Bam.

- A new laptop?

- A $300 gift card to Fashion Forward?

- Yeah, I was really gonna miss you two.

I don't know what I'd do without you.

- Are you about to cry? - Yeah.

Don't tell your mama and daddy.

'Cause I don't wanna cry.

- Hey, wait a minute. You didn't call Dad's boss

and have him make up that story to keep us here, did you?

- [laughter]

- He did it. - Yeah, I did it.

- What?

- ♪

- ♪

- ♪

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