Original subtitles

- ♪ ♪

- Man, this is way too low!

[chuckling] Look at that!

You can't trust her, man! Don't go in there with that!

Ahhh, there she goes! That lip curl again, man!

- REGINALD: Vinny, Vinny, Vinny!

- This is way too loud! - I can't read!

I'm trying to read and the volume's way too high!

- Vinny! This is too loud! - What?! What, what, what?!

- What is all this commotion about?

- I'm out here trying to watch my show,

- "How to Get Away with a Scandal,"

and here they come. - With the volume up high enough

for the whole neighborhood to hear.

- Well, so is your snoring, but don't nobody say nothing

about that! - How dare you spread those

scandalous lies? Right, y'all?

- [audience laughing]

- Well, a young Harry Belafonte didn't mind.

- Why do you think he said "Daylight come

and me want go home"? Your snoring, that's why.

- Grandpa Vinny, why are you yelling?

- I do not have to put up with this disrespect.

Let's go to the patio and have some tea, Reginald.

- All right. All right, fine.

- Is my snoring really that bad?

- Grandpa Vinny, you and I have talked

about your hearing.

- Ain't a damn thing wrong with my steering, okay?

- Your hearing. - Huh?

- Hearing! - You don't have to yell,

I'm sitting right here! - LEAH: Mmmm, okay.

You said if I ordered the hearing aid

you would try it out. - It don't work.

- Well, what's wrong with it?

- It's making a feedback or something.

- I'm no doctor, but ain't that supposed to be in your ear?

- [audience laughing] - You know what?

Don't nobody like a smartass, okay?

- What's wrong with the hearing aid?

- It's making a fuzzy sound or a feedback or something.

I don't know. - I can tweak that.

- Thank you, Son.

- That's nasty.

- [audience laughing]

- It's not even on.

There.

- Let me see. You know every damn thing.

Smart...

- LEAH: Grandpa Vinny, no more excuses. You hear that?

- Hey, wait a minute, I heard that.

Okay! - Okay!

- Of course you did, 'cause I fixed it.

- Okay. - Okay.

- ANASTASIA: You would be honest with me

about the snoring, right?

Because sometimes my allergies act up.

- Wait a minute, Anastasia's on the patio.

Damn, that boy really did hook me up.

[laughing] - [audience laughing]

- ♪ No matter what you do, I love you ♪

♪ No matter where you go, I'm behind you for sure ♪

♪ Always remember, blood ain't never water ♪

♪ We'll make it if we stay together ♪

- Okay, so it's multiple choice.

A, B, or C? - B.

- Come on, Sandra, you know this.

That's wrong. - No, it's B.

- Yeah, I was just testing you.

- [audience laughing] - [unintelligible]

- Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys!

So my friend DeMarcus just texted me. And he's working on--

- Woah, woah, woah, woah, slow down.

Start over.

- [audience laughing]

- Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys.

So my friend DeMarcus just text me

and he's working on this photoshoot

and one of the models dropped out.

And they want me to take his place.

- They want you?

Are you sure they ain't text the wrong number?

- PHILIP: No Dad, I'm serious.

He showed the photographer some of my photos

and told him to reach out.

Check it out.

- Now that's a bad pic.

- There's no photo yet, Dad. This is your reflection.

- [audience laughing]

- Man, show me the pictures.

- Alright. - Now that look weird.

- Okay. - That's creepy.

- What about this one?

- Hey man, what kind of photoshoot is this?

- It must be an ad for dog food.

- [audience laughing] - Hey, don't do that.

That ain't even cool. Alright?

Alright, now this ain't no ad for dog food, is it?

Okay, I mean, look, ain't no child of mine about to be doing

no ad for dog food, eating out of a dog bowl. That's out.

- No, it's some type of marketing campaign

and they're featuring local high school students.

- Oh, I heard about that.

- So it's legit?

- LEAH: Hmm, is what legit?

- I'm gonna be a model. - Mmmm.

- And before you ask, it's not an ad for dog food.

- Why would I even ask that?

He has my whole face.

This boy get his looks from his mama. This is legit, right?

Not happening in the back of somebody's van?

- [audience laughing] - It's legit.

A couple of my friends are participating.

- Okay, so can I go? It's happening later today.

- I mean, sure. It's okay with me.

- I don't care.

- [squealing] I'm excited!

My baby gonna be a model.

[chuckles] Hit me with something.

Mmhmm, mmhmm, give it to the people.

Ha, ha, yes!

- Okay, but what are you gonna wear?

I hope it's not that faded hoodie

that looks like you took it from the trash.

- Right. - Oooh, right.

Yeah, you're right. We, we, we,

we might need to go through his closet, Sandra.

- Ew, I'm not going in that death trap.

- Okay look, I got this gig with my own style

and my beautiful face.

- [audience laughing]

- I will be picking out my own clothes, thank you very much.

- [chuckling] No, I'm gonna be your stylist.

Come on.

- REGINALD: Jeremy, I need to have a word.

- What's up?

- I know what's going on, I want in.

- Yeah, let me give it a little thought.

- You do that. Otherwise, you might regret it.

- Is that right? - REGINALD: Mmhmm.

- Morning, morning, morning. - LEAH: Mmmm.

You've been holed up in your room all morning, Grandpa.

You still mad about the hearing aid?

- No, not at all.

Actually I'm enjoying it.

[chuckling] - I'm happy to hear that.

Get it? - Oh yeah, I get it.

You're a regular Kevin Hart.

I want in, though. - What?

- I want in. - In what? A mental institution?

- Whatever that is you and Reggie got going on.

- How do you know about that? - Oh, I know things.

Oh yeah, it's a good thing that boy has his mom's looks,

otherwise he would be modeling dog food. Watch out.

- [audience laughing]

- Mmm, mmm, mmm.

- I thought you said he's been in the room all day.

- I haven't seen him come out.

- So how does he know about what's going on out here?

- Mmm, maybe the walls are thin.

- I hope not, or else he gonna hear a whole lot of...

[clapping]

Tonight. Mmm, it's Wednesday!

- You might wanna cut all that screaming out.

[laughing] - What are you talking about?

I don't be screaming.

- Mmm, mmm, mm.

- Ooooh. - [laughs]

See? That's it right there! - BOTH: [laughing]

- Nah, but for real though, I need to figure out

what's going on with Vinny. - Mmhmm.

- Something's up.

- Mm, mmhmm.

- [squeaks]

What's the answer to this?

- Mmm, uh...

I think it's C.

- No, it's B. You don't know either.

- [audience laughing]

- A little help would be nice. These are your clothes.

- And risk an injury?

My fans would be devastated.

- [audience laughing]

- Okay, the only fan you have gave birth to you

and still cuts the crust off your sandwiches.

- Plus, I can't crack my face mask.

Wouldn't be good. - Did you set a timer for that?

It's not supposed to be on all day.

- Okay, I got it! Okay?

I need my face extra foliated for my closeups.

- Whatever. Can you just pick an outfit, okay?

I've laid out four different options.

- Uh, none of them are speaking to me.

- [audience laughing]

- You didn't even look at them.

And they're speaking to me loud and clear

with all that body spray on.

- I need more options. This is so last season.

- These are the latest clothes in your closet.

- Look, look, look, a good stylist makes statements,

not excuses.

- Okay, well, I have a statement for you,

you're a pain in the-- - Aye!

What's going on in here?

- You know what? I'm done.

Boris Dodo here is being a jerk.

He won't listen and he's not picking out an outfit.

- Well Mom, can you tell her that I'm a model now

and that I can't just wear anything out the house?

Like, what is this?!

Oh, um, can we go to the Gucci store?

- Ooh, you must be high off those body spray fumes.

- Tyson Beckford's mom probably took him to Gucci and Louis.

- When you start making Tyson Beckford money

we can have a different conversation.

Until then, you need to go pick an outfit out of el closet.

- Oh my goodness!

You guys don't understand the pressure

of the modeling world!

- [audience laughing]

- There you are. I've been calling and texting you.

- Shhh. Sorry about that, alright?

I was in the middle of something.

- Well, Reginald missed his appointment with me

and he's not in his room. - Oh, I know.

- [audience laughing] - What do you mean you know?

Where is he?

- He's somewhere where we're never gonna have to

worry about him again.

- You didn't.

- I did. He was on to us. I had to.

- Did anyone see you?

- Nobody has a clue.

- We might as well make the best of this.

I can change his paperwork, make us the beneficiaries

on his life insurance.

- Yeah, yeah, that's genius. Good move.

- Alright.

[humming]

- Uh-huh.

Well, I'll be damned.

They killed Reggie.

I wonder if I can have his TV.

- [audience laughing]

- What I'mma do, Lord, what I'mma do?

What I'mma do?

- What are you gonna do about what?

- Woah! Okay look, y'all two need to stop walking up on me

like that. What y'all trying to do, kill me?!

- Don't be ridiculous, Grandpa Vinny.

We would never do such a thing.

- Well, look, look, y'all seen Reggie?

- Oh, he's probably in his room napping.

He said he was tired earlier.

- Mmhmm, dead tired.

- Well, you know, maybe I should go check on him.

- Oh, no, no, no, no. You know that's a bad idea.

You know Reginald's a hard sleeper.

- Woo!

- Right.

It's like raising the dead.

I'm hungry.

I'll make sandwiches.

- Yeah, I could eat an arm and a leg.

- [audience laughing] - I got a killer appetite.

- BOTH: [laughing]

- [yelling] Damn!

Miss Anastasia, I've been looking for you.

- Why? So you can talk about my snoring again?

- No, no, something ain't right!

- It's a medical condition.

- No, I'm not talking about your snoring.

I'm talking about Reggie.

- What about him? - He's missing!

- He's probably in his room taking a nap.

- No, he ain't taking no nap.

My gut is telling me something's fishy

going on around here.

- Your gut should be telling you to lay off the beer

and pigskins.

But since you're so concerned, I'll ask Jeremy and Leah.

- Okay, good. Good, good, good.

[laughing]

- Hello, darlings.

Word around the facility is that Reginald is missing.

- Missing? What ever would give you an idea like that?

- Well, you know how things get around.

- Oh no, he's not missing, I know exactly where I left him.

- So he's fine and not in any danger?

- He's perfectly safe.

- Even though he's about to become worm food.

- ANASTASIA: What was that?

- He said would you like some warm food.

Join us for lunch? - Maybe another time.

I just wanted to clear up that Reginald business.

- [audience laughing]

- Well, they said Reginald's fine.

- Yeah, I heard. Mmhmm.

- We were talking really low, how did you hear that

all the way over here?

- Oh, I can read lips around the corner.

- Well, I don't think you have anything to be worried about.

They said that he's fine and I have no reason

not to trust them.

- Yeah, maybe you're right.

- I know I'm right.

- Mmm.

Not having Reggie around might not be a bad idea.

Be one less sausage in the gumbo for Vinny!

- LEAH: That was so close.

- JEREMY: Yeah, I might have to get rid of her.

- LEAH: Imagine how much we could make

selling her memorabilia.

- Damn!

Damn.

I'm gonna miss that sexy walk. - [audience laughing]

- ♪ ♪

- [sighs]

[sighs louder]

- Mmm, where is your brother?

Aren't y'all supposed to be leaving?

Y'all are gonna be late.

- How did I get stuck taking Philip to the photoshoot?

- That's why I had two kids,

so one of y'all could always look after the other.

Duh. - That's slave labor.

- One of the perks of parenthood, darling.

- Philip, let's go!

- PHILIP: No!

- Boy, come on. Y'all are gonna be late!

- PHILIP: I'm not going!

- You told people you were coming, now get out here!

- [in unison] Holy crap!

- What...

It's not that... It's not that bad.

- You sure? - Mmm.

- Holy crap!

Son, did you get into a fight with Floyd Mayweather?

- No. - Manny Pacquiao?

- No. - Muhammad Ali?

- No. - Joe Frazier?

- No! It's an allergic reaction to that face mask, Dad.

- Oh, good. 'Cause you'd have had to wear that ass whooping,

I ain't messing with none of them champs.

- Look, it's still tingling.

- Ew, I can see it's kind of pulsating right here.

Like a bunch of aliens about to, like, explode

out your face.

Did you get wet after midnight?

- What? - Man, this is disgusting.

Like, your skin is just coming off. It's oozing off.

Hey, have you seen yourself?

- I get it, thank you. - Okay, look, stop.

He already feels bad, quit making it worse.

- I told you not to leave the face mask on too long.

- Is that true? - Yes.

- Boy, you got this little photoshoot having you

acting all kinds of crazy.

- I got a little excited and it went straight to my head.

- Mmm, it sure did. Now look at you.

Over here looking like Hitch.

- Hopefully you learned your lesson

about treating people right. - I did.

I realized you have to be careful how you treat people

'cause it can always come back and smack you in the face.

- And run you over. - Mmm, literally.

- Okay, we get it. Thank you.

- [imitating car engine]

- [imitating honking]

- Sorry. Babe.

- Alright, alright, come on.

Time for y'all to go. Don't want y'all to be late.

- I still have to go?

- Hell yeah, you still gotta go.

This is one of life's lessons.

You said you was gonna be there, so now you got to show up.

- Even though my face look like a whole hickey?

- JEREMY: Yep. - Come on,

I'll see if I can fix it with makeup.

I might have to throw away my brushes after.

I have experience covering up hickeys.

- Huh? That ain't funny!

- What'd she say? She in there laughing, baby. Huh?

- I swear, she just like her mama.

- What?! - What?

- What? - I said, I love her mama.

Why would you hit me? I gave you a compliment.

- Look at this right here.

- Going to kill Vinny.

Unh-uh, Vinny done lived too long to be killed.

No, I'm in the game too damn long.

- Hey, Vincent. - VINNY: Woah.

Man, I told you to stop walking up on me like that,

man. - You going somewhere?

- No, I'm just... I'm going for a walk.

- You going for a walk with a pillow and a suitcase?

- Well actually, I'm going down to Goodwill

to drop these things off.

- Hmm, okay, you know what?

I'm actually going somewhere right now, I need some help.

Just come on. - No, no, no.

I'd like to help you, but no, I need to get down there

early because, you know, if you get down there late

Goodwill get real grumpy, they do.

- Okay, alright. Well, this gonna be real quick, okay?

Don't even worry about it, I just need you to help me

get rid of somebody... I mean, something.

- No man, look it here, you already got rid of Reggie

and Miss Anastasia.

And where the hell is Leah?

- How did you know about Reggie and Anastasia?

- Don't worry about how I know.

Just, where the hell is she?

- Leah's gone. - Damn, man.

I mean, I know her cooking was bad

but, damn, you ain't have to kill her.

- [audience laughing]

- She knew too much, just like Reginald and Anastasia.

And I had to clean up those loose ends.

- Loose ends? Then what that make me?

- That makes you next.

- What happened to blood is thicker than murder, man?

- Look, old man, you just know too much.

You know everything that's been going on

and I just can't figure out how you keep finding

this stuff out.

- Okay, take a seat, I'll explain to you what happened.

See, when your little Urkel-ass son fixed

my hearing aid, it gave me super hearing, right?

- You better not be lying. - No, I'm not lying, man.

I can hear clear across the room.

- So you were eavesdropping?

- Well, I wouldn't call it eavesdropping.

It's more like ear hustling, okay?

- Okay, alright, cool. I'll put that on your tombstone.

- No, no, no, no, man. Okay, I'm sorry.

Alright? I'm sorry.

- And? - And--and I won't do it again.

- You swear? - Look, man.

Look, I... Don't kill me, okay?

I just filled up my car with a tank of gas, man!

You know how high gas is!

- So, what do y'all think?

Should I let him live?

- Wha, wha?

- Might as well.

The old fart can't have too many days left, anyway.

- [audience laughing]

- Leah? Miss Anastasia?

Reginald?

You all are alive?! - In the flesh.

- But how?!

- See, we knew you were eavesdropping

but we just couldn't figure out how.

So that's how we came up with this plan.

- Wait a minute, I heard Reginald blackmail you, man.

- No, you did not hear Reginald blackmail me.

I went to play golf with some of the guys down

from City Hall and he asked could he join us.

- I was saying he would regret not having me

in his group because I am money on the golf course.

- Now, did you learn your lesson?

- Yeah, I learned my lesson.

You ain't got to ever worry about Vinny

wearing a hearing aid again.

Now, if you'll excuse me, it's time for me

to watch my show. Let me turn this volume up.

Oh, that's not loud enough. - REGINALD: Oh, good Lord.

- How did teaching him a lesson end up biting us in the ass?

- Oh!

- [chuckling] - Don't go in there, girl!

Aw, damn, she went in there.

Dead as hell.

- ♪ ♪

- You ain't wash your hands, did you?

- [audience laughing] - How would you know that?

- Because I didn't hear no water.

See? This thing really works.

[chuckling] Get out of here.

Get out of here!

Nasty.

- There's my super model.

So how'd the shoot go?

- It went great until I got hot

and sweated the makeup off. - SANDRA: It was bad.

It looked like somebody microwaved a clown.

- Needless to say, they can't use me for that campaign

anymore. - Well, it's not all bad news.

- Yeah, because my skin was so jacked up,

they told me to come back tomorrow

to be the before picture in the skin care campaign.

- Congratulations?

- Yeah, I'm gonna throw on another face mask

and jack my skin up some more. What did you say, Dad?

If you're gonna commit to something, go all in!

- [audience laughing] - That's not what I meant, Son.

- Go get him before he burns his face off!

He'll be waking somebody up in their nightmares.

- [audience laughing]

- Hearing aid.

- What do you hear? - Uh-uh.

You better get him before you go to college.

- [audience laughing]

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