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1
00:00:06,807 --> 00:00:09,210
WELCOME BACK
TO THE ALIEN AWARDS SHOW.
2
00:00:09,243 --> 00:00:12,313
AND NOW THE AWARD
FOR BEST ALIEN UNIFORM
3
00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:14,014
WORN IN A NON-VIOLENT
MISSION GOES TO--
4
00:00:14,048 --> 00:00:16,450
SALLY, COME ON!
THEY'RE DOING UNIFORMS!
5
00:00:16,484 --> 00:00:17,885
THE PLECTO ALIENS!
6
00:00:17,918 --> 00:00:19,120
OHH!
7
00:00:19,153 --> 00:00:20,854
THE PLECTOS
ARE GETTING EVERYTHING.
8
00:00:20,888 --> 00:00:22,490
ACCEPTING ON BEHALF
OF THE PLECTOS
9
00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:23,957
IS THEIR HIGH COMMANDER...
10
00:00:23,991 --> 00:00:24,592
WHERE'S THAT REMOTE?
11
00:00:24,625 --> 00:00:25,593
LIEUTENANT COLONEL ZORGON--
12
00:00:25,626 --> 00:00:27,628
[DICK MUTES HARRY]
13
00:00:27,661 --> 00:00:29,097
DID I MISS
ANYTHING GOOD?
14
00:00:29,130 --> 00:00:31,999
NO, ONLY THE TRIBUTE
TO ALL THE ALIENS
WHO DIED LAST YEAR.
15
00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:33,367
OH. ANYWAY,
HOW DO I LOOK?
16
00:00:33,401 --> 00:00:34,468
OH, FANTASTIC.
17
00:00:34,502 --> 00:00:37,071
THANK YOU.
YOU KNOW, ALBRIGHT'S
CONTROL-TOP PANTYHOSE
18
00:00:37,105 --> 00:00:38,172
REALLY DO THE TRICK.
19
00:00:38,206 --> 00:00:39,673
YOU CAN SAY
THAT AGAIN.
20
00:00:39,707 --> 00:00:40,641
YOU LOOK GREAT.
21
00:00:40,674 --> 00:00:42,376
SIT, SIT. COME ON.
22
00:00:48,716 --> 00:00:50,284
OK, WHAT
THE HELL IS THAT?
23
00:00:50,318 --> 00:00:51,452
IT'S, UH...
24
00:00:51,485 --> 00:00:54,288
IT'S THE TAIL END
OF A PRODUCTION NUMBER.
25
00:00:54,322 --> 00:00:55,022
[DICK UN-MUTES HARRY]
26
00:00:55,055 --> 00:01:01,395
* IT'S THE ALIEN
AWARDS SHOW *
27
00:01:01,429 --> 00:01:06,100
AND NOW, THE AWARD
FOR BEST MISSION
IN A SINGLE-SUN SOLAR SYSTEM.
28
00:01:06,134 --> 00:01:07,101
THIS IS US.
29
00:01:07,135 --> 00:01:09,970
THIS EARTH-BASED CREW
HAS TIRELESSLY CHRONICLED
30
00:01:10,003 --> 00:01:12,540
HUMAN FEATS AND FOIBLES
IN CENTRAL OHIO.
31
00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:14,308
OH, MY GOD!
32
00:01:15,109 --> 00:01:15,909
I'LL DO THE THANK-YOUS,
33
00:01:15,943 --> 00:01:17,211
THEN YOU STEP IN
AND THANK ME.
34
00:01:17,245 --> 00:01:18,279
THEN I'LL WRAP IT UP
WITH SOME CRAP
35
00:01:18,312 --> 00:01:19,680
ABOUT HOW THIS BELONGS
TO EVERYONE.
36
00:01:19,713 --> 00:01:21,149
OK.
37
00:01:21,182 --> 00:01:24,952
AND THE PROBIE
AWARD GOES TO...
38
00:01:24,985 --> 00:01:26,820
TEAM X!
39
00:01:28,822 --> 00:01:29,490
TEAM X?
40
00:01:29,523 --> 00:01:30,791
ARE WE TEAM X?
41
00:01:30,824 --> 00:01:32,860
NO, OF COURSE NOT.
WE'RE THE COUGARS.
42
00:01:32,893 --> 00:01:33,961
DAMN!
43
00:01:33,994 --> 00:01:37,064
TEAM X IS ON LOCATION
AND UNABLE TO ATTEND.
44
00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:37,765
OH, TURN IT OFF.
45
00:01:37,798 --> 00:01:39,667
ACCEPTING ON BEHALF
OF TEAM X
46
00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:42,136
IS SASHINE LITTLEFEATHER--
47
00:01:42,170 --> 00:01:43,771
WHOA! AAH!
48
00:01:43,804 --> 00:01:44,405
DID WE WIN?
49
00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:45,473
NO.
50
00:01:45,506 --> 00:01:46,907
OH, MAN. GREAT.
51
00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:49,410
SO MUCH FOR THE MISSION
BEING RENEWED NEXT FALL.
52
00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:50,444
ALL RIGHT, LOOK.
53
00:01:50,478 --> 00:01:51,812
WE'VE GOT BIGGER
PROBLEMS THAN THAT.
54
00:01:51,845 --> 00:01:54,448
THERE ARE OTHER ALIENS
IN CENTRAL OHIO.
55
00:01:54,482 --> 00:01:56,584
HARRY, SALLY,
FIND THIS TEAM X.
56
00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:58,286
I WANT TO KNOW
WHO THEY ARE,
57
00:01:58,319 --> 00:01:58,986
WHAT THEY'RE DOING,
58
00:01:59,019 --> 00:02:02,256
AND...WHO THEIR
PUBLICIST IS.
59
00:02:02,290 --> 00:02:04,492
THAT'S A LOT
OF WORK.
WAY TOO HARD.
60
00:02:04,525 --> 00:02:05,393
Dick: HEY!
61
00:02:05,426 --> 00:02:07,928
I THINK YOU'RE
FORGETTING
ONE THING.
62
00:02:09,197 --> 00:02:11,098
COUGAR PRIDE.
63
00:02:12,666 --> 00:02:14,335
Both: COUGAR PRIDE.
64
00:02:14,368 --> 00:02:16,003
ALL: [GROWL]
65
00:02:52,406 --> 00:02:55,876
I MUST PUT THESE
PANTYHOSE BACK EXACTLY
WHERE I FOUND THEM,
66
00:02:55,909 --> 00:02:58,512
OR MARY WILL GET
SUSPICIOUS.
67
00:03:00,113 --> 00:03:02,816
MISSING A LEG.
COULD BE WORSE.
68
00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:04,352
HERE WE ARE.
69
00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:08,656
WHAT'S THIS?
70
00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:11,124
OH. DEAR MARY.
71
00:03:11,158 --> 00:03:14,962
SHE SAVED ALL
THE LOVE LETTERS I SENT HER.
72
00:03:14,995 --> 00:03:17,765
WAIT A MINUTE. I NEVER
SENT HER ANY LOVE LETTERS.
73
00:03:20,601 --> 00:03:22,936
"LOVE, SCOOCHIE."
74
00:03:24,638 --> 00:03:26,607
"LOVE, SCOOCHIE."
75
00:03:28,075 --> 00:03:31,211
"MUCH LOVE, SCOOCHIE."
IT'S GETTING WORSE.
76
00:03:31,245 --> 00:03:34,882
WHO IS THIS CURSED SCOOCHIE?
77
00:03:34,915 --> 00:03:38,085
AND WHAT IS THIS
WONDERFUL, MANLY SCENT?
78
00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:48,296
MAN, THIS ALIEN HUNTING
IS HARD WORK.
79
00:03:48,329 --> 00:03:51,399
I KNOW. BY NOW,
I THOUGHT WE'D HAVE
ONE GUTTED, SKINNED,
80
00:03:51,432 --> 00:03:53,467
AND MOUNTED ON A WALL.
81
00:03:53,501 --> 00:03:55,769
HARRY, WE'RE NOT
GOING TO KILL THEM.
82
00:03:55,803 --> 00:03:58,171
WELL, YOU CAN'T MOUNT
A LIVE ALIEN ON A WALL,
BECAUSE THEY--
83
00:03:58,205 --> 00:03:59,307
HARRY.
84
00:03:59,340 --> 00:04:01,375
LOOK, JUST KEEP
YOUR EYES PEELED
85
00:04:01,409 --> 00:04:03,844
FOR SOMEONE WHO LOOKS
A LITTLE OFF, ALL RIGHT?
86
00:04:03,877 --> 00:04:07,715
NOW, LET'S GET
US SOME OF THAT
PRIZE-WINNING FUDGE.
87
00:04:08,682 --> 00:04:10,884
WE ALSO NEED 2 BOXES
OF 5-INCH NAILS
88
00:04:10,918 --> 00:04:13,321
FOR THE BARN RAISING
TOMORROW.
89
00:04:15,956 --> 00:04:17,891
OK, THEY LOOK STRANGE.
90
00:04:17,925 --> 00:04:19,493
YEAH.
91
00:04:19,527 --> 00:04:21,362
AND THEY CAN
LEVITATE BARNS.
92
00:04:21,395 --> 00:04:23,230
ALL RIGHT,
YOU STAY HERE.
93
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:25,966
I'M GONNA GO FEEL
IT OUT, ALL RIGHT?
94
00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:28,469
HELLO.
EXCUSE ME, UM...
95
00:04:28,502 --> 00:04:29,670
I COULDN'T
HELP BUT NOTICE
96
00:04:29,703 --> 00:04:33,707
THAT YOU GUYS
LOOK REALLY WEIRD.
97
00:04:33,741 --> 00:04:35,909
WE'RE AMISH.
98
00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:39,212
THEY'RE AMISH.
99
00:04:39,246 --> 00:04:41,782
YEAH, THEY'RE FROM THE
PLANET AHM.
100
00:04:41,815 --> 00:04:43,651
BINGO!
ALL IN A DAY'S WORK!
101
00:04:43,684 --> 00:04:44,385
TEAM X!
102
00:04:44,418 --> 00:04:45,018
YEAH!
YEAH!
103
00:04:45,052 --> 00:04:46,186
DICK'S GONNA BE SO PROUD.
104
00:04:46,219 --> 00:04:46,920
I KNOW.
105
00:04:46,954 --> 00:04:48,155
WAIT..
106
00:04:48,188 --> 00:04:51,992
IS IT POSSIBLE THAT WE ARE
SOMEHOW MISREADING THIS
SITUATION?
107
00:04:55,463 --> 00:04:56,830
NO
108
00:05:02,269 --> 00:05:06,039
SO THEN WE FOLLOWED THE
TEAM X ALIENS IN THEIR
HORSE AND BUGGIE
109
00:05:06,073 --> 00:05:09,309
THE MOST BORING CAR CHASE
IN HISTORY
110
00:05:09,343 --> 00:05:10,411
YUP.
111
00:05:10,444 --> 00:05:13,514
I HAD TO MAKE
ALL THE TIRE-SCREECHING
NOISES MYSELF.
112
00:05:15,115 --> 00:05:17,351
GOOD WORK TEAM. STAY ON IT
113
00:05:17,385 --> 00:05:19,653
WHAT WILL YOU BE DOING?
114
00:05:19,687 --> 00:05:20,588
MOPING.
115
00:05:20,621 --> 00:05:23,924
OH THAT'S UNUSUAL.
OH, BIG SURPRISE.
116
00:05:23,957 --> 00:05:25,826
APPARENTLY, ANOTHER
MAN HAS BEEN SENDING
117
00:05:25,859 --> 00:05:27,495
LOVE LETTERS
TO MARY.
118
00:05:27,528 --> 00:05:29,329
A MAN
NAMED SCOOCHIE.
119
00:05:29,363 --> 00:05:30,898
I'M DEVASTATED.
120
00:05:30,931 --> 00:05:34,067
OH, GOD.
DICK, PLEASE,
DO NOT FREAK OUT.
121
00:05:34,101 --> 00:05:36,637
I MEAN, THERE'S
NO WAY SOME DUMB LETTERS
122
00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:39,072
COULD AFFECT
YOUR RELATIONSHIP
WITH ALBRIGHT.
123
00:05:39,106 --> 00:05:40,107
YEAH.
JUST LOOK AT YOU.
124
00:05:40,140 --> 00:05:41,809
YOU ARE
A HUGE CATCH.
125
00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:44,878
HUGE.
126
00:05:44,912 --> 00:05:48,949
THANK YOU, HARRY.
MAYBE I AM OVERREACTING.
127
00:05:48,982 --> 00:05:52,386
I MEAN, JUST LISTEN
TO THIS OVERRIPE SAP:
128
00:05:52,420 --> 00:05:54,688
"THERE IS A FLOWER
INSIDE ME THAT BLOOMS
129
00:05:54,722 --> 00:05:56,490
"IN YOUR FAINTEST
SHADOW.
130
00:05:56,524 --> 00:05:59,527
"THERE IS A HEART
THAT BEATS TO LIFE
131
00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:02,696
"IN THE ROCKS
AS YOU WALK ABOVE.
132
00:06:02,730 --> 00:06:07,435
"THE TREES,
THE GRASS,
THE CHIRPING CICADAS
133
00:06:07,468 --> 00:06:14,207
CALL OUT JOYOUSLY,
COME TO ME.
COME TO ME."
134
00:06:14,241 --> 00:06:16,844
AAH.
135
00:06:20,247 --> 00:06:24,852
I'VE NEVER BEEN SO MOVED
136
00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:27,621
LISTEN DICK, OH MY GOD
137
00:06:27,655 --> 00:06:32,192
I'VE NEVER EVEN MET THIS GUY
BUT I WOULD MARRY HIM IN A
NEW YORK MINUTE
138
00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:36,363
I KNOW EVEN I'M SMITTENED.
139
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:37,665
READ US ANOTHER ONE DICK
140
00:06:37,698 --> 00:06:39,567
YEAH
141
00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:42,235
GATHER AROUND, I'LL
READ THEM ALL.
142
00:06:45,673 --> 00:06:46,607
YES?
143
00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:48,976
OH, HEY.
WE'RE SALLY
AND HARRY.
144
00:06:49,009 --> 00:06:50,343
THE COUGARS.
145
00:06:50,377 --> 00:06:52,646
UH, AND WE JUST WANTED
TO CONGRATULATE YOU
146
00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:55,315
ON TAKING HOME
ALL THAT HARDWARE
THE OTHER NIGHT.
147
00:06:55,348 --> 00:06:59,319
YES, I'M PLEASED
TO FINALLY HAVE
A GALVANIZED MILKING MACHINE.
148
00:06:59,352 --> 00:07:01,121
I THOUGHT IT
WAS CALLED THE PROBIE,
149
00:07:01,154 --> 00:07:02,389
BUT WHATEVER.
150
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:04,424
LOOK, YOU'RE WINNERS.
WE'RE LOSERS.
151
00:07:04,458 --> 00:07:07,060
YOU GUYS CLEARLY HAVE
THE SUPERIOR MISSION.
152
00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:09,362
YEAH, WE'RE
HERE TO LEARN
YOUR WAY.
153
00:07:09,396 --> 00:07:10,664
WHO IS IT, FATHER?
154
00:07:10,698 --> 00:07:12,265
OUTSIDERS, PRUDENCE.
155
00:07:12,299 --> 00:07:15,102
WELL,
HELLO THERE.
156
00:07:15,135 --> 00:07:16,570
THOU.
157
00:07:16,604 --> 00:07:17,805
OTHERS HAVE
COME TO US
158
00:07:17,838 --> 00:07:19,006
AND ASKED TO BE
SHOWN OUR WAYS,
159
00:07:19,039 --> 00:07:20,774
BUT THEY
LACKED THE WILL.
160
00:07:20,808 --> 00:07:24,111
OH, HEY.
WE GOT GREAT
STAMINA.
161
00:07:24,144 --> 00:07:26,547
FATHER, IT IS
HARVEST TIME.
162
00:07:26,580 --> 00:07:30,250
I SUPPOSE IN YEARS
PAST WE HAVE TAKEN
ON EXTRA HANDS.
163
00:07:31,619 --> 00:07:33,987
EXTRA HANDS?
164
00:07:34,021 --> 00:07:36,456
OK. THAT WE'VE
GOT TO SEE.
165
00:07:39,226 --> 00:07:41,228
OH, GOOD MORNING,
DR. SOLOMON.
166
00:07:41,261 --> 00:07:43,597
FAT LOT YOU KNOW.
167
00:07:43,631 --> 00:07:47,134
OR SHOULD I SAY,
FAT LOT YOU KNOW, SCOOCHIE?
168
00:07:48,435 --> 00:07:50,871
MIND YOUR OWN
BUSINESS.
169
00:07:50,904 --> 00:07:52,205
WHAT ARE
YOU DOING?
170
00:07:52,239 --> 00:07:54,542
ONE DAY, THERE'S GOING
TO BE SOMETHING CALLED
A COMPETENCY HEARING,
171
00:07:54,575 --> 00:07:55,709
AND I WANT
TO BE PREPARED.
172
00:07:55,743 --> 00:07:56,777
WELL...
173
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:58,478
SO DO I.
174
00:07:58,512 --> 00:08:01,081
DO I HAVE
TO STUDY FOR IT?
175
00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:03,917
MORNING, DICK.
176
00:08:03,951 --> 00:08:06,620
MARY, YESTERDAY, I WENT
THROUGH YOUR THINGS,
177
00:08:06,654 --> 00:08:08,522
AND I FOUND
THE SCOOCHIE LETTERS.
178
00:08:08,556 --> 00:08:12,025
SOMEONE HAS SOME
EXPLAINING TO DO.
179
00:08:12,059 --> 00:08:14,394
YOU WENT THROUGH MY THINGS?
180
00:08:14,427 --> 00:08:16,764
THAT PART
DOESN'T NEED EXPLAINING.
181
00:08:16,797 --> 00:08:21,301
HOW DARE YOU KEEP
LOVE LETTERS FROM
ANOTHER MAN! THAT PART.
182
00:08:22,736 --> 00:08:26,540
FRANKLY, DICK, I'M RELIEVED.
183
00:08:26,574 --> 00:08:28,175
WHO IS SCOOCHIE?
184
00:08:28,208 --> 00:08:29,042
I DON'T KNOW.
185
00:08:29,076 --> 00:08:30,243
OH, YOU DON'T KNOW.
186
00:08:30,277 --> 00:08:32,512
I SWEAR,
I'VE NEVER MET HIM.
187
00:08:32,546 --> 00:08:34,848
I STARTED GETTING
THESE LETTERS
A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO.
188
00:08:34,882 --> 00:08:36,884
HE'S PROBABLY
AN OLD STUDENT WITH A CRUSH.
189
00:08:36,917 --> 00:08:41,221
NO STUDENT
FROM OUR COLLEGE
COULD WRITE THAT WELL.
190
00:08:41,254 --> 00:08:42,422
I KNOW.
191
00:08:42,455 --> 00:08:43,957
I THOUGHT ABOUT
THROWING THEM OUT,
192
00:08:43,991 --> 00:08:47,460
BUT NOBODY'S EVER SAID
SUCH BEAUTIFUL THINGS
ABOUT ME.
193
00:08:47,494 --> 00:08:50,363
MARY, IT'S EASY
FOR SOME STRANGER
TO SAY NICE THINGS.
194
00:08:50,397 --> 00:08:53,333
THEY DON'T KNOW YOU
LIKE I DO.
195
00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:57,771
THANKS.
196
00:08:57,805 --> 00:08:59,840
I FELT GUILTY ABOUT
HIDING THEM FROM YOU,
197
00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:01,942
BUT THEY'RE KIND OF EXCITING.
198
00:09:01,975 --> 00:09:05,378
WHERE IS YOUR HEAD?
YOU KNOW NOTHING
ABOUT THIS SCOOCHIE.
199
00:09:05,412 --> 00:09:10,183
ONLY THAT HE
IS AN EXTREMELY SENSITIVE,
INCREDIBLY ROMANTIC MAN
200
00:09:10,217 --> 00:09:11,719
WHO MAKES ME FEEL SPECIAL.
201
00:09:11,752 --> 00:09:15,055
FEEL SPECIAL.
THAT IS SO RIDIC--
202
00:09:17,991 --> 00:09:19,359
NO IDEA WHO HE IS?
203
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:20,594
NONE.
204
00:09:20,628 --> 00:09:22,429
NO IDEA WHATSOEVER?
205
00:09:22,462 --> 00:09:23,563
NONE WHATSOEVER.
206
00:09:23,597 --> 00:09:25,432
MARY...
207
00:09:27,367 --> 00:09:30,370
I AM SCOOCHIE.
208
00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:42,716
YOU KNOW,
ANNABET, I LOVE
THESE OUTFITS.
209
00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:45,352
BUT AS
A PRACTICAL MATTER,
210
00:09:45,385 --> 00:09:49,657
HOW DO YOU
TELL WHO HAS
THE BIGGEST BOOBS?
211
00:09:49,690 --> 00:09:52,960
SALLY, WE ARE NOT
CONCERNED WITH SUCH THINGS.
212
00:09:52,993 --> 00:09:54,261
OH.
213
00:09:54,294 --> 00:09:56,997
GUESS I KNOW
WHAT YOU GOT.
214
00:09:58,899 --> 00:10:02,335
AH. BOY HOWDY,
AM I TIRED.
215
00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:05,238
BUT IT'S A GOOD TIRED.
216
00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:06,406
'CAUSE WITH WORK
LIKE THIS,
217
00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:08,642
IT MAKES YOU
FEEL LIKE YOU REALLY
ACCOMPLISHED SOMETHING.
218
00:10:08,676 --> 00:10:09,843
BROTHER HARRY,
YOU SOUND LIKE
219
00:10:09,877 --> 00:10:11,879
YOU PLOWED THE ENTIRE
SOUTH FIELD.
220
00:10:11,912 --> 00:10:14,915
NO, BUT HE FINALLY
GOT BOTH BOOTS ON.
221
00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:18,686
YEAH, I TELL YOU
I WAS RACING THE SUN.
222
00:10:18,719 --> 00:10:20,020
I HOPE YOU'RE
HUNGRY, HARRY.
223
00:10:20,053 --> 00:10:21,722
WE SET A MIGHTY TABLE.
224
00:10:21,755 --> 00:10:23,090
MMM.
I KNOW.
225
00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:26,960
I SAW ONE OF YOUR FORKS
OUT THERE IN THE BARN.
226
00:10:28,095 --> 00:10:30,263
Annabet:
SUPPER IS READY.
LET US GATHER.
227
00:10:30,297 --> 00:10:32,465
ALL RIGHT!
228
00:10:50,784 --> 00:10:53,186
HARRY, SALLY,
NOW THAT YOU'VE
SEEN SOMETHING
229
00:10:53,220 --> 00:10:54,722
OF OUR WAY,
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
230
00:10:54,755 --> 00:10:56,857
UH, WELL...
231
00:10:56,890 --> 00:10:59,126
HONESTLY, UH,
YOU GUYS COULD DO
232
00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:00,660
A BETTER JOB
BLENDING IN.
233
00:11:00,694 --> 00:11:02,696
RIGHT NOW, YOU'RE
SORT OF SCREAMING,
234
00:11:02,730 --> 00:11:04,664
"WE'RE DIFFERENT."
235
00:11:04,698 --> 00:11:07,267
WE BELIEVE IT'S BEST
NOT TO FIT IN.
236
00:11:07,300 --> 00:11:08,068
HUH?
237
00:11:08,101 --> 00:11:09,636
WE REMAIN APART
FROM SOCIETY
238
00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:11,038
SO WE DON'T
LOSE OURSELVES
239
00:11:11,071 --> 00:11:14,174
AND FORGET WHY WE
WERE PLACED ON EARTH.
240
00:11:14,207 --> 00:11:16,877
OH, MY GOD, HARRY.
241
00:11:16,910 --> 00:11:18,779
THAT'S WHAT
HAPPENED TO US.
242
00:11:18,812 --> 00:11:21,048
WE BLENDED IN
TOO MUCH.
243
00:11:21,081 --> 00:11:25,385
YEAH,
LIKE CREAMY FRAPPUCINOS.
244
00:11:25,418 --> 00:11:26,353
WHAT'S
A FRAPPUCINO?
245
00:11:26,386 --> 00:11:27,687
OH, I'LL SHOW YOU.
246
00:11:27,721 --> 00:11:29,456
ANNABET.
2 FRAPPUCINOS.
247
00:11:29,489 --> 00:11:30,824
OH, NO.
MAKE THAT 3, BABE.
248
00:11:30,858 --> 00:11:32,259
3 FRAPPUCINOS.
249
00:11:32,292 --> 00:11:34,127
COME ON. WHAT,
AM I SPEAKING CHINESE?
250
00:11:34,161 --> 00:11:36,096
LET'S MOVE.
251
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:42,135
WELL, MARY.
WHAT DO YOU SAY
WE SLIP BACK
252
00:11:42,169 --> 00:11:44,738
INTO THE TUB
AND GET DIRTY?
253
00:11:44,772 --> 00:11:46,940
HA HA HA.
254
00:11:46,974 --> 00:11:48,475
I HAVEN'T HAD
THIS MANY SHOWERS
255
00:11:48,508 --> 00:11:53,080
SINCE I CAUGHT LICE
IN THE PEACE CORPS.
256
00:11:53,113 --> 00:11:56,249
I'M JUST GLAD THEY LEFT
SOME OF YOU FOR ME TO NIBBLE.
257
00:11:56,283 --> 00:11:58,051
OH.
258
00:11:58,085 --> 00:11:59,552
OH, DICK,
THESE LETTERS
HAVE INJECTED
259
00:11:59,586 --> 00:12:02,189
SO MUCH HEAT INTO
OUR RELATIONSHIP.
260
00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:03,857
SCOOCHIE'S GOOD.
261
00:12:03,891 --> 00:12:05,158
MMM.
262
00:12:05,192 --> 00:12:06,393
OOH! BY THE WAY,
263
00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:08,228
I GOT SCOOCHIE'S
LATEST LETTER.
264
00:12:08,261 --> 00:12:09,162
OH.
265
00:12:09,196 --> 00:12:11,431
ANY FAVORITE PARTS
THAT I SHOULD KNOW ABOUT?
266
00:12:11,464 --> 00:12:13,233
WELL, SOME OF IT'S
KIND OF RACY.
267
00:12:13,266 --> 00:12:15,168
YOU'RE WELCOME.
268
00:12:15,202 --> 00:12:19,039
ANYWAY, I'LL GO
GET THE SHOWER CAPS.
269
00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:20,908
OH,
270
00:12:20,941 --> 00:12:21,842
YOU KNOW
WHAT I FOUND
271
00:12:21,875 --> 00:12:23,510
PARTICULARLY
INTRIGUING?
272
00:12:23,543 --> 00:12:25,445
OH,
OF COURSE I DO.
273
00:12:25,478 --> 00:12:28,748
IT WAS THE SUGGESTION
OF FINALLY MEETING
SCOOCHIE
274
00:12:28,782 --> 00:12:31,018
AT A SPECIAL
RENDEZVOUS.
275
00:12:31,051 --> 00:12:33,954
OH, WELL, I THOUGHT
YOU'D LIKE THAT.
276
00:12:33,987 --> 00:12:35,455
A RENDEZVOUS?!
277
00:12:35,488 --> 00:12:37,925
I WOULDN'T TAKE
THAT TOO SERIOUSLY, MARY.
278
00:12:37,958 --> 00:12:41,728
UH, HE WAS PROBABLY JOKING.
SCOOCHIE LOVES TO LAUGH.
279
00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:45,565
NO, NO. I WAS SURPRISED
AND TITILLATED.
280
00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:48,201
SO, I R.S.V.P.ed
WITH A SEXY LITTLE NOTE
281
00:12:48,235 --> 00:12:51,138
TO SCOOCHIE'S P.O. BOX,
JUST LIKE HE ASKED.
282
00:12:51,171 --> 00:12:52,005
WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT?!
283
00:12:52,039 --> 00:12:55,342
I MEAN, THAT'S 34 CENTS
284
00:12:55,375 --> 00:12:58,445
THAT WE COULD HAVE SPENT
ON GOOD TIMES.
285
00:13:02,449 --> 00:13:04,751
HELLO THERE,
BROTHER.
286
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:06,453
LET'S SEE...
287
00:13:06,486 --> 00:13:12,425
TV GUIDE...HYDROX COOKIES...
THAT NEW 'N SYNC CD...
288
00:13:12,459 --> 00:13:14,427
HEY, IT'S
ONE OF THEM.
289
00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:15,728
YOU WANNA GO
MESS WITH HIM?
290
00:13:15,762 --> 00:13:16,763
YEAH.
291
00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:18,731
THE AMISH
AREN'T SUPPOSED
TO FIGHT BACK.
292
00:13:18,765 --> 00:13:21,134
Harry:
GEORGE FOREMAN
GRILLING MACHINE...
293
00:13:21,168 --> 00:13:23,203
HEY, AMISH BOY,
YOU WANT SOME
ICE CREAM?
294
00:13:23,236 --> 00:13:25,305
OH. THAT WOULD BE NICE.
295
00:13:25,338 --> 00:13:26,506
WHOOPS.
296
00:13:26,539 --> 00:13:27,140
HA HA HA.
HA HA AH.
297
00:13:27,174 --> 00:13:28,441
I GET IT.
IT'S ONE OF THEM
298
00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:30,944
"OPEN THE HANGAR,
HERE COMES THE PLANE"
TYPE DEALS.
299
00:13:30,978 --> 00:13:32,980
LET'S TRY IT AGAIN.
300
00:13:33,013 --> 00:13:34,047
YEAH.
301
00:13:34,081 --> 00:13:35,382
OHH.
302
00:13:35,415 --> 00:13:38,251
MAYBE I'M MOVING
AROUND TOO MUCH.
303
00:13:38,285 --> 00:13:39,786
WHAT ARE YOU
GONNA DO ABOUT IT,
AMISH BOY?
304
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:41,388
WELL, I'LL STAND
REALLY STILL, ALL RIGHT?
305
00:13:41,421 --> 00:13:43,590
I THINK WE
ALMOST HAD IT THAT TIME.
306
00:13:43,623 --> 00:13:46,559
OHH.
307
00:13:46,593 --> 00:13:50,898
IT'S FUNNY
HOW THE SIMPLEST THINGS
CAN BE SO DIFFICULT.
308
00:13:50,931 --> 00:13:52,365
HARRY?
ARE YOU COMING?
309
00:13:52,399 --> 00:13:53,633
OH, HELLO.
310
00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:55,102
LOOK AT
THE BIG AMISH GIRL.
311
00:13:55,135 --> 00:13:56,803
SHE LOOKS
SCARED.
312
00:13:56,836 --> 00:14:00,273
WHY DON'T YOU GO
QUILT YOURSELF
A HANKY AND CRY.
313
00:14:00,307 --> 00:14:02,542
Both:
HA HA HA.
314
00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:03,743
OH.
315
00:14:03,776 --> 00:14:06,880
WELL, FIRST OF ALL,
YOU WOULDN'T
QUILT A HANKY.
316
00:14:06,914 --> 00:14:08,315
YOU'D QUILT
A POT HOLDER.
317
00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:10,017
AND SECOND--
318
00:14:10,050 --> 00:14:12,652
OHH!
UNH!
319
00:14:14,321 --> 00:14:16,789
WE'VE ONLY BEEN AMISH
FOR A LITTLE WHILE.
320
00:14:16,823 --> 00:14:17,490
HEY!
321
00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:18,858
I GOT AN IDEA.
322
00:14:18,892 --> 00:14:21,028
YOU STAND STILL,
AND I'LL COME TO THE CONE.
323
00:14:21,061 --> 00:14:22,896
Sally: HARRY!
324
00:14:33,473 --> 00:14:34,274
GOOD MORNING, DICK.
325
00:14:34,307 --> 00:14:35,108
HELLO, THERE.
HEH HEH.
326
00:14:35,142 --> 00:14:37,077
WHAT'S THIS?
327
00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:41,581
OOH, A LETTER
FROM SCOOCHIE...
328
00:14:41,614 --> 00:14:45,585
ON MY LETTERHEAD.
329
00:14:45,618 --> 00:14:48,321
SCOOCHIE'S THRIFTY.
330
00:14:48,355 --> 00:14:54,327
"DEAR MARY, HOW ARE YOU?
I AM FINE.
331
00:14:54,361 --> 00:14:58,999
"I'M CANCELING
OUR BAD NIGHT OF ACTIVITY
WE HAD PLANNED.
332
00:14:59,032 --> 00:15:01,334
"INSTEAD, YOU AND I
WILL BE EATING
333
00:15:01,368 --> 00:15:04,904
"HOT DOGS AND WIENERS
IN YOUR BACKYARD.
334
00:15:04,938 --> 00:15:09,842
FROM YOUR FRIEND,
SCOOCHIE."
335
00:15:09,876 --> 00:15:12,412
THIS IS NOT ONE
OF HIS BEST.
336
00:15:12,445 --> 00:15:15,215
THE POINT IS,
THE RENDEZVOUS
HAS BEEN RELOCATED.
337
00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:16,449
I GUESS SO.
338
00:15:16,483 --> 00:15:17,884
GOOD.
THAT'S THAT THEN.
339
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:19,619
MARY ALBRIGHT?
HMM?
340
00:15:19,652 --> 00:15:20,320
I HAVE
A SPECIAL DELIVERY
341
00:15:20,353 --> 00:15:22,755
FROM A MR., UH,
SCOOCHIE.
342
00:15:22,789 --> 00:15:24,457
UH-OH.
343
00:15:24,491 --> 00:15:26,393
THANK YOU.
344
00:15:29,696 --> 00:15:31,631
"DEAREST MARY,
345
00:15:31,664 --> 00:15:35,969
"YOUR VOICE IS A PERFUME
THAT FILLS MY LUNGS.
346
00:15:36,003 --> 00:15:39,039
THE VERY WIND IS JEALOUS."
347
00:15:39,072 --> 00:15:43,243
NOW THAT'S MORE
SCOOCHIE'S STYLE.
348
00:15:43,276 --> 00:15:45,512
"KINDLY IGNORE
MY LAST LETTER."
349
00:15:45,545 --> 00:15:46,313
WHAT?
350
00:15:46,346 --> 00:15:48,115
"AND, INSTEAD,
MEET ME TONIGHT
351
00:15:48,148 --> 00:15:50,750
AS PLANNED
AT THE MEDIEVAL FESTIVAL."
352
00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:53,020
OH, LET ME SEE THAT!
WHAT'S--
353
00:15:53,053 --> 00:15:53,686
DAMN!
354
00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:54,154
WHAT?
355
00:15:54,187 --> 00:15:55,855
UH, UH, UH, UH,
356
00:15:55,888 --> 00:15:58,191
I MISSPELLED
MEDIEVAL.
357
00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:00,827
[SALLY WHISTLES
THIS OLD MAN]
358
00:16:00,860 --> 00:16:03,296
HEY, THERE, SALL.
HEY.
359
00:16:03,330 --> 00:16:06,066
YEAH. DOING
SOME LAUNDRY?
360
00:16:07,034 --> 00:16:09,002
NO, HARRY, THIS IS
A BUTTER CHURN.
361
00:16:09,036 --> 00:16:10,170
HMM.
362
00:16:10,203 --> 00:16:12,872
NO WONDER MY WHITES
CAME OUT YELLOW.
363
00:16:12,905 --> 00:16:14,474
[SIGHS] YOU KNOW,
I HAVE LEARNED
364
00:16:14,507 --> 00:16:19,912
SO MUCH FROM TEAM X:
PATIENCE, DISCIPLINE.
365
00:16:19,946 --> 00:16:21,381
THE ONLY THING
I REALLY MISS
ARE ZIPPERS.
366
00:16:21,414 --> 00:16:23,083
YOU KNOW, I NEVER DID GET
THE HANG OF THOSE.
367
00:16:23,116 --> 00:16:25,018
I KNOW, SWEETIE.
368
00:16:25,052 --> 00:16:29,522
LISTEN, HARRY,
I'VE BEEN THINKING
369
00:16:29,556 --> 00:16:30,990
MAYBE WE COULD
TRANSFER
370
00:16:31,024 --> 00:16:33,560
TO THIS OUTFIT
FOR GOOD.
371
00:16:33,593 --> 00:16:34,394
JOIN TEAM X?
372
00:16:34,427 --> 00:16:36,963
JOIN A WINNER.
373
00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:38,365
OK.
AW!
374
00:16:38,398 --> 00:16:40,767
HA HA HA!
375
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:43,603
BUT WHAT ABOUT DICK?
376
00:16:43,636 --> 00:16:46,206
FORGET DICK.
HE'S AN OUTSIDER NOW.
377
00:16:46,239 --> 00:16:48,375
YEAH.
MAYBE HE COULD COME BY
FROM TIME TO TIME,
378
00:16:48,408 --> 00:16:50,043
AND WE CAN SHUN HIM.
379
00:16:50,077 --> 00:16:52,245
AH!
AH!
380
00:16:52,279 --> 00:16:54,013
BROTHER HARRY.
SISTER SALLY.
381
00:16:54,047 --> 00:16:56,916
JEDEDIAH,
WE HAVE GREAT NEWS.
382
00:16:56,949 --> 00:17:02,622
HARRY AND I HAVE DECIDED
TO JOIN YOUR TEAM
PERMANENTLY.
383
00:17:02,655 --> 00:17:04,724
IT'S FUNNY
YOU SHOULD
SAY THAT.
384
00:17:04,757 --> 00:17:07,994
BECAUSE
WE WANT YOU TO LEAVE
OUR COMMUNITY.
385
00:17:09,329 --> 00:17:12,065
LEAVE?
BUT WE'RE MAKING
SUCH A DIFFERENCE.
386
00:17:12,099 --> 00:17:13,933
THAT'S THE PROBLEM.
387
00:17:13,966 --> 00:17:17,537
YOU'VE ORGANIZED
BUGGY RACES
FOR GAMBLING PURPOSES.
388
00:17:17,570 --> 00:17:20,273
AND YOU MADE
1-900 CALLS
389
00:17:20,307 --> 00:17:23,510
FROM OUR COMMUNITY
PHONE SHED.
390
00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:26,813
AND WORST OF ALL,
YOU'VE CORRUPTED
OUR DAUGHTER PRUDENCE.
391
00:17:26,846 --> 00:17:29,249
THAT IS
AN ABSOLUTE LIE.
392
00:17:29,282 --> 00:17:34,621
OH, WE FOUND
THIS QUILT
IN HER ROOM.
393
00:17:34,654 --> 00:17:36,823
OK, MAYBE A LITTLE BIT
OF CORRUPTION, BUT--
394
00:17:36,856 --> 00:17:39,426
ALL RIGHT, LOOK,
WE'RE SORRY. OK?
395
00:17:39,459 --> 00:17:41,761
WE TRIED TO LIVE UP
TO YOUR PURITY,
396
00:17:41,794 --> 00:17:45,432
BUT I GUESS
WE SHOULD GO.
397
00:17:47,367 --> 00:17:51,304
AHEM, BY THE WAY,
ANNABET, YOU HIT
THE TRIFECTA.
398
00:17:51,338 --> 00:17:53,206
OH!
399
00:17:54,006 --> 00:17:57,344
PUMPKIN, I KNOW
YOU'RE GONNA
MISS ME,
400
00:17:57,377 --> 00:18:00,780
BUT SOME NIGHT,
WHEN YOU'RE
FEELING LONELY,
401
00:18:00,813 --> 00:18:02,482
JUST LOOK UP THERE.
402
00:18:02,515 --> 00:18:03,250
AT A STAR?
403
00:18:03,283 --> 00:18:04,217
NO, AT A SATELLITE,
404
00:18:04,251 --> 00:18:05,017
BECAUSE
WHEREVER I AM,
405
00:18:05,051 --> 00:18:07,654
I'M GONNA BE
WATCHING
SATELLITE TV.
406
00:18:07,687 --> 00:18:10,357
GET OUT!
OH, OK.
407
00:18:17,164 --> 00:18:19,332
OOH!
408
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:22,935
HELLO.
409
00:18:22,969 --> 00:18:24,671
ARE YOU
WHO I THINK YOU ARE?
410
00:18:24,704 --> 00:18:25,905
SCOOCHIE?
UH, YEAH.
411
00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:27,607
I THOUGHT YOU WANTED
TO MEET ME BY THE MOAT.
412
00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:29,376
I DID? THAT'S
A STUPID IDEA.
413
00:18:29,409 --> 00:18:30,310
LET'S GET OUT
OF HERE, MARY.
414
00:18:30,343 --> 00:18:32,579
NO! SCOOCHIE?!
WE CAN'T LEAVE.
415
00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:35,482
ALL RIGHT. I'LL STAY
FOR THE WET BODICE CONTEST,
BUT THAT'S IT.
416
00:18:35,515 --> 00:18:42,121
NO! THE BLACK KNIGHT
IS ABOUT TO SELECT
AN OPPONENT FOR A DUEL.
417
00:18:45,858 --> 00:18:47,594
WHO AMONG YOU
IS BRAVE ENOUGH
418
00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:50,530
TO FACE THE BLACK KNIGHT?
419
00:18:52,098 --> 00:18:52,732
YOU, SIR!
420
00:18:52,765 --> 00:18:55,001
UH, NO, NO, NO, NO,
NO, NO.
421
00:18:55,034 --> 00:18:56,303
OHH.
422
00:18:56,336 --> 00:18:57,970
VALIANT
SIR SCOOCHIE,
423
00:18:58,004 --> 00:18:59,138
DEFEND
YOUR LADY.
424
00:18:59,172 --> 00:19:00,973
UH, NO. MARY, UH,
425
00:19:01,007 --> 00:19:03,510
IF--IF YOU FIGHT
WITH THE PERFORMERS,
YOU HAVE TO TIP THEM.
426
00:19:03,543 --> 00:19:05,077
THAT'S OK.
427
00:19:05,111 --> 00:19:06,846
NOW JUST--
KNOCK THAT OFF!
428
00:19:06,879 --> 00:19:11,718
OR I'LL TAKE
THAT CARDBOARD SWORD
OF YOURS AND--
429
00:19:11,751 --> 00:19:13,119
UHH, THAT'S
GOOD CARDBOARD.
430
00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:14,821
VALIANT
SIR SCOOCHIE,
431
00:19:14,854 --> 00:19:16,589
DEFEND
YOUR LADY!
432
00:19:16,623 --> 00:19:18,358
UHH. OH, YES.
433
00:19:18,391 --> 00:19:20,993
UH, YES, OF COURSE.
434
00:19:21,027 --> 00:19:23,196
WELL,
LET'S GO TO IT THEN.
435
00:19:23,230 --> 00:19:26,299
I WILL DISPENSE
WITH YOU PRESENTLY.
436
00:19:26,333 --> 00:19:27,700
UNH.
[CHEERS]
437
00:19:32,639 --> 00:19:35,775
YAH, YAH, YAH,
YAH!
438
00:19:35,808 --> 00:19:38,345
I'M ONLY FIGHTING
WITH YOU TO IMPRESS
MY GIRLFRIEND,
439
00:19:38,378 --> 00:19:40,580
SO IF YOU COULD PRETEND
TO FALL AT HER FEET,
440
00:19:40,613 --> 00:19:42,682
THAT WOULD BE HUGE.
441
00:19:44,284 --> 00:19:47,119
UNH, UNH!
442
00:19:47,153 --> 00:19:48,888
THAT SCENT.
443
00:19:48,921 --> 00:19:50,323
I KNOW THAT SCENT!
444
00:19:51,258 --> 00:19:53,593
HYAH! HYAH!
445
00:19:53,626 --> 00:19:55,428
THE LETTERS!
446
00:19:55,462 --> 00:19:56,996
SCOOCHIE?
447
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:03,736
I SHOULD WARN YOU
THAT I'VE KILLED
WITH EVERYTHING
448
00:20:03,770 --> 00:20:07,974
FROM A STEAK KNIFE
TO A PENNY DROPPED
FROM A SKYSCRAPER.
449
00:20:08,007 --> 00:20:11,478
SO DON'T BE TOO BRAVE
FOR YOUR OWN GOOD.
450
00:20:11,511 --> 00:20:13,079
[CHEERING]
451
00:20:16,949 --> 00:20:18,651
Crowd: OOH!
452
00:20:20,353 --> 00:20:21,754
YOU ARE SO BRAVE!
453
00:20:21,788 --> 00:20:23,189
YES, I KNOW.
454
00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:26,092
OH, WATCH OUT!
HE'LL KILL YOU!
455
00:20:26,626 --> 00:20:28,795
GET BACK
IN THERE!
456
00:20:37,770 --> 00:20:39,506
NO, SCOOCHIE!
457
00:20:39,539 --> 00:20:43,042
REVEAL YOURSELF!
I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!
458
00:20:55,822 --> 00:20:59,459
DICK, DID YOU JUST
CALL HIM SCOOCHIE?
459
00:20:59,492 --> 00:21:01,394
DICK, IT'S BEEN
A LONG TIME.
460
00:21:01,428 --> 00:21:03,830
LIAM, H-H-H-HOW ARE YOU?
461
00:21:03,863 --> 00:21:08,668
OH, SPLENDID.
I, UH, RECENTLY WON
A PROBIE.
462
00:21:08,701 --> 00:21:09,936
SCOOCHIE IS FROM TEAM X?
463
00:21:09,969 --> 00:21:10,970
NOW, LOOK,
I'D LOVE TO CHAT,
464
00:21:11,003 --> 00:21:13,072
BUT THERE'S
A SMALL MATTER
OF YOUR BEHEADING.
465
00:21:13,105 --> 00:21:15,174
UH, SIRE?
466
00:21:16,476 --> 00:21:17,777
NO!
467
00:21:17,810 --> 00:21:19,612
THUMB'S UP
MEANS THAT I LIVE!
468
00:21:19,646 --> 00:21:22,415
WELL, NOT WHERE
I COME FROM.
31714
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