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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:14,115 [SIGHING DEEPLY] 2 00:00:14,148 --> 00:00:17,485 OH, WILL THIS NEVER END? 3 00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:19,920 WE'VE BEEN WAITING IN LINE FOR A MONTH! 4 00:00:19,953 --> 00:00:23,224 DICK, DO RECALL NINA AND I EVEN INVITING YOU? 5 00:00:23,257 --> 00:00:25,093 WELL, AT LEAST THERE'S A KISSING BOOTH AT THE END. 6 00:00:25,126 --> 00:00:27,061 THAT'S SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO. 7 00:00:27,095 --> 00:00:28,796 THERE'S NO KISSING BOOTH AT THE END. 8 00:00:28,829 --> 00:00:30,764 AND I SPECIFICALLY SAID, "DON'T COME. 9 00:00:30,798 --> 00:00:33,934 YOU'LL BE BORED, AND YOU'LL ANNOY US." 10 00:00:35,069 --> 00:00:37,505 OH, GOD! I NEED CAFFEINE OR I'M GOING TO FALL ASLEEP. 11 00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:40,241 UH, NINA, BE A LAMB AND FETCH ME A CAPPUCCINO. 12 00:00:40,274 --> 00:00:43,611 I'M HERE TO GET CLAIRE VOLK TO SIGN MY BOOK AND THAT'S ALL. 13 00:00:43,644 --> 00:00:46,780 WHAT IS THIS OBSESSION WITH CLAIRE VOLK AND HER SIGNATURE? 14 00:00:46,814 --> 00:00:50,218 IT CAN'T BE HEALTHY. IT C BE HEALTHY! 15 00:00:50,251 --> 00:00:51,419 CLAIRE VOLK'S FIRST BOOK 16 00:00:51,452 --> 00:00:53,087 TAUGHT ME TO LOVE MYSELF 17 00:00:53,121 --> 00:00:55,656 DURING SOME REALLY ROUGH TIMES. 18 00:00:55,689 --> 00:00:57,558 SHE'S A FULLY ACTUALIZED PERSON 19 00:00:57,591 --> 00:00:59,593 WITH SO MUCH TO SHARE. 20 00:00:59,627 --> 00:01:01,229 THERE ARE 2 THINGS I'M CERTAIN ABOUT. 21 00:01:01,262 --> 00:01:02,730 SHE IS NOT FULLY ACTUALIZED, 22 00:01:02,763 --> 00:01:06,066 AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. 23 00:01:07,034 --> 00:01:08,869 THERE ISN'T A HUMAN BEING ALIVE 24 00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:10,171 THAT COULDN'T BENEFIT FROM THIS BOOK. 25 00:01:10,204 --> 00:01:12,306 OH. HERE, LET ME SEE IT. 26 00:01:12,340 --> 00:01:15,176 "A ROAD MAP TO PERMANENT HAPPINESS." 27 00:01:15,209 --> 00:01:16,477 I'LL GIVE THE INTRO A SKIM 28 00:01:16,510 --> 00:01:18,512 AND GET BACK TO YOU WITH MY THOUGHTS. 29 00:01:18,546 --> 00:01:20,748 UH! BALONEY. 30 00:01:20,781 --> 00:01:21,782 CRAP. 31 00:01:21,815 --> 00:01:23,551 NONSENSE. 32 00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:25,085 MORE CRAP. 33 00:01:27,288 --> 00:01:29,056 INTERESTING. 34 00:01:30,158 --> 00:01:32,025 HMM. 35 00:01:32,059 --> 00:01:33,261 NEXT. 36 00:01:33,294 --> 00:01:35,095 HI. I'M MARY ALBRIGHT 37 00:01:35,129 --> 00:01:36,197 AND I HAVE BEEN WAITING A LONG TIME-- 38 00:01:36,230 --> 00:01:38,031 MISS VOLK! 39 00:01:38,065 --> 00:01:40,000 IN THE LAST FEW FEET OF THIS LINE 40 00:01:40,033 --> 00:01:42,970 YOU HAVE CHANGED MY LIFE FOREVER. 41 00:01:43,003 --> 00:01:45,139 WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO SIGN YOUR BOOK? 42 00:01:45,173 --> 00:01:48,041 BOOK, NOTHING! SIGN MY BREAST. 43 00:01:52,713 --> 00:01:56,049 AND SEE IF YOU CAN USE THE NIPPLE TO DOT THE "I". 44 00:02:32,386 --> 00:02:35,155 COME ON. I WANT TO HEAR YOU SAY IT. 45 00:02:35,189 --> 00:02:38,392 OHH. I LOVE YOU, TOO. 46 00:02:39,293 --> 00:02:40,761 WELL, WHO WAS THAT? 47 00:02:40,794 --> 00:02:42,630 TOMMY. 48 00:02:44,865 --> 00:02:45,933 HOW'S HE DOING AT COLLEGE? 49 00:02:45,966 --> 00:02:49,069 OH, TERRIBLE. HE SAID SOMETHING ABOUT A FRATERNITY 50 00:02:49,102 --> 00:02:53,841 AND BEING HAZED BY GREEKS AND IT'S HELL WEEK. 51 00:02:53,874 --> 00:02:55,175 HE DOESN'T KNOW IF HE'S GOING TO MAKE IT. 52 00:02:55,209 --> 00:02:57,211 HELL WEEK? HELL WEEK? 53 00:02:57,245 --> 00:02:58,912 HE COULD BE IN MORTAL DANGER. 54 00:02:58,946 --> 00:03:00,414 FAMILY MEETING! FAMILY MEETING! 55 00:03:00,448 --> 00:03:02,450 LOOK, DICK. I CAN'T. I GOT TO GET UP TO TOMMY'S SCHOOL. 56 00:03:02,483 --> 00:03:03,551 HE COULD BE DEAD ALREADY. 57 00:03:03,584 --> 00:03:04,352 NOW? 58 00:03:04,385 --> 00:03:07,488 BUT I WANT TO SHOW YOU MY NEW BOOK. 59 00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:09,323 LISTEN TO ME. I WILL DO ANYTHING TO KEEP TOMMY 60 00:03:09,357 --> 00:03:11,759 OR ANY MEMBER OF THIS FAMILY FROM BEING KILLED 61 00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:13,394 EVEN IF IT MEANS KILLING YOU 62 00:03:13,427 --> 00:03:16,330 OR ANY MEMBER OF THIS FAMILY. 63 00:03:17,498 --> 00:03:22,836 HARRY, ALL THROUGH OUR TUMULTUOUS EXISTENCE 64 00:03:22,870 --> 00:03:23,937 ON THIS PLANET, 65 00:03:23,971 --> 00:03:27,107 WE HAVE BEEN ENSLAVED BY OUR NEGATIVE EMOTIONS. 66 00:03:27,140 --> 00:03:29,109 MMM. THAT'S SO TRUE. I GOT TO RUN. 67 00:03:29,142 --> 00:03:30,978 [SPUTTERING] 68 00:03:31,011 --> 00:03:32,012 ARE YOU HAPPY? 69 00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:32,480 YES. 70 00:03:32,513 --> 00:03:33,281 REALLY HAPPY? 71 00:03:33,314 --> 00:03:33,981 YES. 72 00:03:34,014 --> 00:03:36,617 REALLY, REALLY, REALLY HAPPY? 73 00:03:36,650 --> 00:03:38,719 NO. 74 00:03:38,752 --> 00:03:42,022 WITH THIS BOOK, WE ARE GOING TO MASTER OUR EMOTIONS. 75 00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:44,157 NO MORE UPS AND DOWNS, ONLY UPS. 76 00:03:44,191 --> 00:03:46,927 FROM NOW ON, THE QUEST FOR PERMA-HAPPINESS 77 00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:49,963 MUST BE OUR FIRST AND OUR ONLY PRIORITY. 78 00:03:49,997 --> 00:03:53,367 CALM, CALM. HAPPY, HAPPY. 79 00:03:53,401 --> 00:03:57,170 OK. I PAID TO GET THAT LEAK IN THE KITCHEN ROOF FIXED. 80 00:03:57,204 --> 00:03:58,939 NOW ONE OF YOU GOT TO GO UP AND PAINT THE CEILING 81 00:03:58,972 --> 00:04:03,444 OR I'M KEEPING YOUR SECURITY DEPOSIT. 82 00:04:03,477 --> 00:04:07,281 OK, HARRY, YOU PAINT THE CEILING, I'LL GET HAPPY FOR BOTH OF US. 83 00:04:11,452 --> 00:04:14,455 TOMMY! TOM-- 84 00:04:14,488 --> 00:04:16,424 OH, MY GOD, TOMMY. 85 00:04:16,457 --> 00:04:19,793 THEY'VE BRAINWASHED YOU INTO THINKING THE FLOOR IS YOUR TEETH. 86 00:04:19,827 --> 00:04:21,228 SALLY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 87 00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:22,930 OK. I CAME TO SAVE YOUR ASS. 88 00:04:22,963 --> 00:04:27,067 NOW, JUMP ON MY BACK AND I'M GOING TO BUST YOU OUT OF THIS DEATHTRAP. 89 00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,268 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 90 00:04:28,302 --> 00:04:32,806 HELL WEEK. YOU TOLD HARRY YOU MIGHT NOT MAKE IT. 91 00:04:32,840 --> 00:04:34,875 DON'T YOU REMEMBER? 92 00:04:34,908 --> 00:04:36,510 TOMMY? 93 00:04:36,544 --> 00:04:37,578 TOMMY, ARE YOU IN THERE? 94 00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:40,348 SALLY! I MEANT I WAS AFRAID 95 00:04:40,381 --> 00:04:42,750 I MIGHT NOT MAKE IT INTO THE FRAT. 96 00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:47,755 THE FRAT. RIGHT. OK. 97 00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:52,059 WELL, THAT WAS WORTH A 4-HOUR BUS RIDE. 98 00:04:52,092 --> 00:04:54,662 SALLY, THIS PLACE HAS THE BEST PARTIES, 99 00:04:54,695 --> 00:04:59,533 THE NICEST GIRLS, AND SOME OF THE SKANKIEST GIRLS. 100 00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:01,502 WHICH IS WHY THE FRAT BROTHERS 101 00:05:01,535 --> 00:05:03,671 ARE PUTTING US THROUGH A SERIES OF TESTS... 102 00:05:03,704 --> 00:05:05,773 TO MAKE SURE NONE OF THE WEENY GEEKS GET IN. 103 00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:11,011 OH, I SEE. SO YOU'RE WORRIED 'CAUSE YOU'RE A WEENY GEEK. 104 00:05:11,044 --> 00:05:13,614 NO! I MERELY HAVE SOME CONCERNS 105 00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:19,353 THAT THE FRAT SELECTION PROCESS MIGHT NOT BE SCIENTIFIC. 106 00:05:19,387 --> 00:05:20,153 I JUST WISH I KNEW 107 00:05:20,187 --> 00:05:22,923 WHAT THE PLEDGEMASTER HAS PLANNED. 108 00:05:22,956 --> 00:05:26,960 TOMMY, YOU KNOW, I MIGHT BE ABLE TO HELP YOU HERE. 109 00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:29,930 AS IT HAPPENS, I'M NOT JUST A MASTER OF ESCAPE, 110 00:05:29,963 --> 00:05:34,334 BUT I AM ALSO A MASTER OF GETTING INTO PLACES 111 00:05:34,368 --> 00:05:41,274 AND...SNEAKILY SECRET FINDING. 112 00:05:42,410 --> 00:05:43,176 INFILTRATION? 113 00:05:43,210 --> 00:05:45,012 THANK YOU. INFILTRATION. 114 00:05:45,045 --> 00:05:47,848 OH, YEAH. YOU'RE NOT A GEEK. 115 00:05:51,652 --> 00:05:53,253 OH, DICK. I CAN'T BELIEVE 116 00:05:53,286 --> 00:05:54,888 HOW INTO THIS BOOK YOU ARE. 117 00:05:54,922 --> 00:05:57,591 IT'S WONDERFUL. I AM SO PROUD OF YOU. 118 00:05:57,625 --> 00:06:00,961 OH, THANK YOU, MARY. NOW, CLAIRE VOLK SAYS THAT I DON'T NEED 119 00:06:00,994 --> 00:06:02,996 ANY AFFIRMATION BUT MY OWN, 120 00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:06,266 SO I'M GOING TO PRETEND THAT I SAID THAT. 121 00:06:06,299 --> 00:06:10,704 NOW. THE BOOK SAYS THAT STEP ONE TO PERMA-HAPPINESS 122 00:06:10,738 --> 00:06:12,873 IS THE FORGIVENESS CEREMONY. 123 00:06:12,906 --> 00:06:13,641 SO, AHEM. 124 00:06:13,674 --> 00:06:14,374 SHOULD I GO FIRST? 125 00:06:14,408 --> 00:06:17,778 NO, NO, NO. I'VE BEEN SAVING UP. 126 00:06:17,811 --> 00:06:24,017 I FORGIVE NINA FOR EATING MY LUNCH TODAY. 127 00:06:24,051 --> 00:06:27,855 DICK, NINA DID THAT BECAUSE YOU ATE HER LUNCH. 128 00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:29,623 MARY, IS THIS A FORGIVENESS CEREMONY 129 00:06:29,657 --> 00:06:33,060 OR A WHO ATE NINA'S LUNCH INQUISITION? 130 00:06:33,093 --> 00:06:34,361 YOUR TURN. 131 00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:36,129 I FORGIVE... 132 00:06:36,163 --> 00:06:39,467 MY MOTHER FOR MAKING A MESS OF MY CHILDHOOD. 133 00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:40,233 UH! 134 00:06:40,267 --> 00:06:42,870 BUT YOU'RE STILL MAD. I CAN TELL. 135 00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:45,005 IT'S DICK, ONE. MARY, ZERO. 136 00:06:45,038 --> 00:06:46,373 DICK, THIS IS NOT A COMPETITION. 137 00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:47,641 THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE LOSING. 138 00:06:47,675 --> 00:06:50,043 OK. IT'S--IT'S MY TURN. 139 00:06:50,678 --> 00:06:53,614 I FORGIVE YOU, MARY... 140 00:06:53,647 --> 00:06:56,750 FOR THOSE 5 POUNDS YOU PUT ON LAST CHRISTMAS. 141 00:06:56,784 --> 00:06:57,350 DICK! 142 00:06:57,384 --> 00:06:58,418 NO, NO. 143 00:06:58,452 --> 00:06:59,152 IT'S DONE. 144 00:06:59,186 --> 00:07:01,722 COME ON. YOUR TURN. 145 00:07:03,624 --> 00:07:06,026 I FORGIVE... 146 00:07:06,059 --> 00:07:07,695 THE WORLD... 147 00:07:07,728 --> 00:07:09,062 FOR ITS CAPRICIOUS-- 148 00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:10,097 THAT MAKES ME THINK OF ONE. 149 00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:12,399 NO, YOU DIDN'T LET ME FINISH. 150 00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:13,400 FORGIVE ME? 151 00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:14,434 YES, BUT-- 152 00:07:14,468 --> 00:07:17,137 OK, THEN IT'S MY TURN AGAIN. 153 00:07:18,338 --> 00:07:25,012 I FORGIVE THE WORLD FOR ITS CAPRICIOUS... 154 00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:28,616 WHAT WERE YOU GOING TO PUT ON THE END OF THAT, MARY? 155 00:07:28,649 --> 00:07:31,051 OH, DICK, MAYBE WE SHOULD DO THIS THING SEPARATELY. 156 00:07:31,084 --> 00:07:33,554 THE THINGS I'M TRYING TO FORGIVE ARE SNOWBALLING ON ME HERE. 157 00:07:33,587 --> 00:07:34,855 BUT, MARY! 158 00:07:34,888 --> 00:07:36,456 I WAS GOING TO FORGIVE YOU FOR SNORING, 159 00:07:36,490 --> 00:07:38,025 FOR--FOR CHEWING WITH YOUR MOUTH OPEN, 160 00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:40,193 AND FOR A LOUD PHONE VOICE. 161 00:07:40,227 --> 00:07:41,695 ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO MISS ALL THAT? 162 00:07:41,729 --> 00:07:43,396 I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE. 163 00:07:43,430 --> 00:07:44,231 COME ON, MARY. 164 00:07:44,264 --> 00:07:45,499 NO, NO. JUST GO AWAY. 165 00:07:45,533 --> 00:07:46,734 IMPATIENCE, TOO. 166 00:07:46,767 --> 00:07:48,569 NO, GET OUT. 167 00:07:51,104 --> 00:07:52,005 I FORGIVE YOU. 168 00:07:52,039 --> 00:07:54,474 GET OUT! 169 00:08:01,381 --> 00:08:02,215 HEY, HARRY. 170 00:08:02,249 --> 00:08:03,884 HERE'S THE PAINT AND BRUSHES FROM WHEN 171 00:08:03,917 --> 00:08:06,019 YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO HELP ME PAINT MY APARTMENT. 172 00:08:06,053 --> 00:08:08,722 HMM. THANKS FOR HURRYING OVER TO HELP ME, NINA. 173 00:08:08,756 --> 00:08:10,591 HELP NOTHIN'. I CAME TO GET MY HUNDRED BUCKS BACK 174 00:08:10,624 --> 00:08:13,761 FROM WHEN YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO HELP ME PAINT MY APARTMENT. 175 00:08:13,794 --> 00:08:15,195 YEAH. HOW'D THAT GO? 176 00:08:15,228 --> 00:08:16,897 WELL, ACTUALLY, YOU NEVER EVEN SHOWED UP-- 177 00:08:16,930 --> 00:08:18,398 YOU KNOW WHAT? I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS. 178 00:08:18,431 --> 00:08:20,067 I GOT A CEILING TO PAINT, 179 00:08:20,100 --> 00:08:23,937 SO EITHER PAY ME THE HUNDRED BUCKS YOU OWE ME OR GET OUT. 180 00:08:23,971 --> 00:08:27,741 NO, YOU OWE ME, SO WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SO FIRED UP ABOUT? 181 00:08:27,775 --> 00:08:29,877 WELL, IT'S NOT EVERYDAY THAT DICK GIVES ME AN ASSIGNMENT. 182 00:08:29,910 --> 00:08:32,045 AND I WANT TO PUT MY HEART AND SOUL INTO IT. 183 00:08:32,079 --> 00:08:34,381 YOU KNOW? MAKE IT A LABOR OF LOVE. 184 00:08:34,414 --> 00:08:35,983 HARRY, IT'S A CEILING. 185 00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:37,517 PICK A COLOR AND SLAP IT ON. 186 00:08:37,551 --> 00:08:39,486 I CAN'T JUST PICK ANY COLOR! 187 00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:42,856 IT'D HAVE TO SPEAK TO ME. 188 00:08:42,890 --> 00:08:47,260 IT'D HAVE TO REFLECT THE GOLDEN RAYS OF SUNLIGHT OFF MY CHEERIOS IN THE MORNING 189 00:08:47,294 --> 00:08:52,833 OR STIR MY INTEREST AS I STARE UP AT IT WHILE DICK'S TALKING. 190 00:08:56,904 --> 00:08:57,638 HI! 191 00:08:57,671 --> 00:09:00,140 HI THERE. HI. 192 00:09:00,173 --> 00:09:01,742 YOU KNOW, I WAS WALKING ACROSS CAMPUS 193 00:09:01,775 --> 00:09:03,343 ON MY WAY TO A CAMPUS BUILDING, 194 00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:08,081 AND I THOUGHT I'D JUST SWING BY AND ASK YOU WHAT YOUR HAZING RITUALS WERE. 195 00:09:08,115 --> 00:09:09,817 OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. 196 00:09:09,850 --> 00:09:11,518 I'VE TAKEN A SOLEMN VOW 197 00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:14,421 NEVER TO REVEAL THE SECRETS OF THIS PLEDGE BOOK. 198 00:09:14,454 --> 00:09:16,123 YOU TELL ME, I'LL GO OUT WITH YOU. 199 00:09:16,156 --> 00:09:18,826 LET ME WALK YOU THROUGH IT. 200 00:09:43,516 --> 00:09:46,253 WRONG, WRONG, WRONG! 201 00:09:46,286 --> 00:09:49,289 HOW CAN PAINT THAT TASTES THIS GOOD 202 00:09:49,322 --> 00:09:51,859 LOOK THIS BAD? 203 00:09:55,362 --> 00:09:58,431 ALL RIGHT, LINE UP! COME ON. LINE UP! 204 00:09:58,465 --> 00:10:01,534 OK, LADIES, WE'VE GOT A NEW ASSISTANT PLEDGEMASTER. 205 00:10:01,568 --> 00:10:02,836 HER NAME'S SALLY. 206 00:10:02,870 --> 00:10:06,273 WELL, STAN IS HALF-RIGHT. MY NAME IS SALLY, 207 00:10:06,306 --> 00:10:09,777 BUT FROM NOW ON, YOU'LL ALL KNOW ME AS... 208 00:10:09,810 --> 00:10:11,478 OW! OW! OW! 209 00:10:11,511 --> 00:10:15,182 THAT'S RIGHT. SALLY OW OW OW! 210 00:10:15,215 --> 00:10:16,316 WHAT'S YOUR NAME? 211 00:10:16,349 --> 00:10:17,284 I'M BUCKY. 212 00:10:17,317 --> 00:10:19,853 OH, MY GOD. YOUR PARENTS ARE SO CRUEL, 213 00:10:19,887 --> 00:10:22,189 BUT GUESS WHAT? YOU AIN'T SEEN NOTHIN' YET. 214 00:10:22,222 --> 00:10:22,856 AAH! 215 00:10:22,890 --> 00:10:24,191 ALL RIGHT. WHAT'S YOUR NAME? 216 00:10:24,224 --> 00:10:25,558 I'M JIM. 217 00:10:25,592 --> 00:10:26,259 NOT ANYMORE. 218 00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:28,028 FROM NOW ON, YOUR NAME IS ROSE 219 00:10:28,061 --> 00:10:30,163 AND YOU'RE A 78-YEAR OLD GRANDMOTHER. 220 00:10:30,197 --> 00:10:34,702 GO RUN 6 MILES WITH A WALKER. GO, GO, GO! 221 00:10:34,735 --> 00:10:35,803 WHAT'S YOUR NAME, TOMMY? 222 00:10:35,836 --> 00:10:37,938 I'M TOMMY. 223 00:10:39,506 --> 00:10:42,142 Stan: EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME! 224 00:10:42,175 --> 00:10:43,276 DO YOU GUYS KNOW EACH OTHER? 225 00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:46,446 UH, NO, NOT AT ALL. I NEVER MET HIM BEFORE IN MY LIFE. 226 00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:48,381 NO SPECIAL TREATMENT HERE. 227 00:10:48,415 --> 00:10:50,250 SHE'LL TREAT ME EXACTLY LIKE SHE TREATS EVERYONE ELSE 228 00:10:50,283 --> 00:10:52,619 SHE DOESN'T KNOW, RIGHT? 229 00:10:53,053 --> 00:10:54,421 THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT, RIGHT? 230 00:10:54,454 --> 00:10:55,488 YEAH. 231 00:10:55,522 --> 00:10:56,289 OK. 232 00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:56,757 REALLY? 233 00:10:56,790 --> 00:10:58,992 [WHISPERING] Yes! 234 00:10:59,026 --> 00:11:00,227 ALL RIGHT, GOOD. 235 00:11:00,260 --> 00:11:03,596 ONE QUESTION. YOU WEARING BOXERS OR BRIEFS? 236 00:11:03,630 --> 00:11:05,132 BOXERS. 237 00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:08,736 WRONG ANSWER. AAH! 238 00:11:14,975 --> 00:11:17,778 MARY, YOU'LL BE HAPPY TO KNOW THAT 239 00:11:17,811 --> 00:11:19,880 I'M DEEP INTO STEP 2. 240 00:11:19,913 --> 00:11:21,081 I HAVE SUCCESSFULLY ELIMINATED 241 00:11:21,114 --> 00:11:23,150 ALL THE NEGATIVE RELATIONSHIPS IN MY LIFE-- 242 00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:26,119 JUDITH, STRUDWICK, THE CHANCELLOR. 243 00:11:26,153 --> 00:11:28,055 I'VE EVEN STOPPED YELLING AT THE LITTLE VOICE 244 00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:29,322 THAT COMES OUT OF THE CLOWN'S HEAD 245 00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:31,759 WHEN I'M AT THE DRIVE-THROUGH. 246 00:11:31,792 --> 00:11:33,626 WOW, YOU'VE REALLY GROWN! 247 00:11:33,660 --> 00:11:35,863 YES, I HAVE, MARY. 248 00:11:35,896 --> 00:11:37,865 I'M ALMOST PERMA-HAPPY DICK. 249 00:11:37,898 --> 00:11:39,800 OHH! 250 00:11:39,833 --> 00:11:41,902 ANYWAY, YOU'RE HISTORY. 251 00:11:42,803 --> 00:11:43,536 WHAT? 252 00:11:43,570 --> 00:11:44,404 YEAH, YOU'RE GONE. 253 00:11:44,437 --> 00:11:46,006 I CAN'T BE IN THIS RELATIONSHIP ANYMORE. 254 00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:49,576 TOO MANY UPS AND DOWNS. 255 00:11:49,609 --> 00:11:51,678 YOU'RE BREAKING UP WITH ME BECAUSE OF THIS BOOK? 256 00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:54,414 YEAH. I'M AFRAID SO. 257 00:11:58,752 --> 00:12:00,921 NO. 258 00:12:01,855 --> 00:12:02,823 I KNOW IT'S HARD, MARY. 259 00:12:02,856 --> 00:12:05,525 NO, IT'S NOT HARD, DICK. IT'S JUST NOT HAPPENING. 260 00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:06,860 WHAT? 261 00:12:06,894 --> 00:12:11,198 WELL, WHAT I'VE LEARNED FROM THIS BOOK IS THAT 262 00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:17,838 "ON THE FERRIS WHEEL OF LIFE, I AM THE CARNY HOLDING THE THROTTLE." 263 00:12:18,906 --> 00:12:20,808 I CHOOSE NOT TO BREAK UP WITH YOU. 264 00:12:20,841 --> 00:12:21,942 REALLY? 265 00:12:21,975 --> 00:12:23,410 CAN YOU DO THAT? 266 00:12:23,443 --> 00:12:24,945 YEAH. 267 00:12:24,978 --> 00:12:26,379 YEAH. I MEAN, I THINK "YOU HAVE A TENDENCY 268 00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:28,816 "TO UNDERESTIMATE THE-- THE SICKNESS 269 00:12:28,849 --> 00:12:31,418 OF THE CODEPENDENT RELATIONSHIP," 270 00:12:31,451 --> 00:12:35,388 AND WE'RE IN ONE, MISTER, AND YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE. 271 00:12:35,422 --> 00:12:37,557 WELL, IN THAT CASE, I NEED TO, UH... 272 00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:39,893 "STEP OFF THE DESPERATION TREADMILL 273 00:12:39,927 --> 00:12:42,162 "AND FROLIC THROUGH THE FOREST OF SOLITUDE 274 00:12:42,195 --> 00:12:45,632 WITH MY SELF ELF." 275 00:12:45,665 --> 00:12:48,235 SELF ELF?! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? 276 00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:49,336 FOR YOUR INFORMATION, 277 00:12:49,369 --> 00:12:52,372 IT IS THE SPRIGHTLY INNER HAPPINESS THAT YOU ACHIEVE 278 00:12:52,405 --> 00:12:55,575 WHEN YOU SPEND TIME WITH YOUR LOVING AND SUPPORTIVE SELF, 279 00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:57,544 BUT YOU WOULD KNOW THAT IF YOU'D READ THE BOOK. 280 00:12:57,577 --> 00:12:59,312 I'M AT THE HELM. I'M AT THE HELM. 281 00:12:59,346 --> 00:13:00,513 Dick: CALM, CALM. HAPPY, HAPPY. 282 00:13:00,547 --> 00:13:02,582 I'M AT THE HELM. I'M AT THE HELM. 283 00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:04,117 CALM, CALM, HAPPY, HAPPY! I'M AT THE HELM. 284 00:13:04,151 --> 00:13:06,153 I'M AT THE HELM. I'M AT THE HELM! 285 00:13:10,157 --> 00:13:12,359 GRANDMA ROSE, GET ME ANOTHER BEER 286 00:13:12,392 --> 00:13:15,295 YES PLEDGE MASTER SALLY! 287 00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:22,836 PERMISSION TO SPEAK WITH THE ASSISTANT PLEDGE MASTER 288 00:13:22,870 --> 00:13:24,504 AND PUT THIS THING DOWN? 289 00:13:24,537 --> 00:13:26,874 DENIED AND DENIED. 290 00:13:26,907 --> 00:13:29,509 COME ON SALLY! 291 00:13:29,542 --> 00:13:32,512 OH! 292 00:13:32,545 --> 00:13:33,580 THAT IS HIGHLY UNSEEMING. 293 00:13:33,613 --> 00:13:34,681 WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? 294 00:13:34,714 --> 00:13:35,748 YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE HELPING ME OUT 295 00:13:35,782 --> 00:13:36,950 THAT IS WHAT I'M DOING. 296 00:13:36,984 --> 00:13:38,451 I'M HELPING YOU BUILD CHARACTER. 297 00:13:38,485 --> 00:13:40,520 I JUST WANT YOU TO HELP ME GET INTO THIS FRAT. 298 00:13:40,553 --> 00:13:41,254 AND YOU WILL. 299 00:13:41,288 --> 00:13:42,122 I WILL? 300 00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:43,623 OH, YEAH! IF YOU GET THROUGH HELL WEEK. 301 00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:45,158 IF I GET THROUGH? 302 00:13:45,192 --> 00:13:45,993 TOMMY, LISTEN TO ME. 303 00:13:46,026 --> 00:13:47,694 I TOOK AN OATH HERE, OK? 304 00:13:47,727 --> 00:13:52,765 I MUST UPHOLD THIS FRATERNITY'S HALLOWED TRADITIONS. 305 00:13:52,799 --> 00:13:55,235 I THINK YOU'RE JUST ON A POWER TRIP. 306 00:13:57,004 --> 00:13:59,472 THAT'S A BIT DISRESPECTFUL, PLEBE. 307 00:13:59,506 --> 00:14:00,573 WELL, GUESS WHAT? 308 00:14:00,607 --> 00:14:02,375 I'M NOT AFRAID OF YOU. 309 00:14:02,409 --> 00:14:03,877 MAYBE NOT, 310 00:14:03,911 --> 00:14:05,778 BUT I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE AFRAID OF-- 311 00:14:05,812 --> 00:14:07,480 ME. 312 00:14:07,514 --> 00:14:08,949 MAYBE SO, 313 00:14:08,982 --> 00:14:10,150 BUT ANYTHING YOU PUT ME THROUGH 314 00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:11,218 ONLY MAKES ME STRONGER. 315 00:14:11,251 --> 00:14:13,386 OK, SO YOU'RE SUPPORTING MY INITIAL ARGUMENT. 316 00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:14,721 THEN I RECANT. 317 00:14:14,754 --> 00:14:16,123 IF YOU RECANT, THEN YOU QUIT. 318 00:14:16,156 --> 00:14:17,290 THEN I QUIT. 319 00:14:17,324 --> 00:14:18,591 OH, YOU ARE SUCH A COWARD. 320 00:14:18,625 --> 00:14:20,693 YOU NEVER DESERVED TO BE IN THIS FRATERNITY. 321 00:14:20,727 --> 00:14:21,561 OH, REALLY? 322 00:14:21,594 --> 00:14:22,996 WELL, HIT ME WITH EVERYTHING YOU GOT. 323 00:14:23,030 --> 00:14:24,231 20 PUSHUPS NOW! 324 00:14:24,264 --> 00:14:25,265 HOW ABOUT 10? 325 00:14:25,298 --> 00:14:28,735 I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY! 326 00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:38,578 JEEZ, AREN'T YOU DONE YET? 327 00:14:38,611 --> 00:14:40,981 MADAME, THESE THINGS TAKE TIME. 328 00:14:41,014 --> 00:14:44,484 DID YOUR REPUTATION AS A GIN-SOAKED GOOD TIME GIRL 329 00:14:44,517 --> 00:14:46,319 HAPPEN OVERNIGHT? 330 00:14:46,353 --> 00:14:49,489 NO, IT HAPPENED OVER SEVERAL NIGHTS. 331 00:14:49,522 --> 00:14:53,660 AND IT REALLY STUCK AFTER THAT CONVENTION. 332 00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:56,663 LOOK, I DON'T NEED YOU NAGGING ME, OK, 333 00:14:56,696 --> 00:15:00,733 WHEN THIS HAS BEEN MOCKING ME DAY AND NIGHT! 334 00:15:00,767 --> 00:15:02,602 STOP IT! 335 00:15:02,635 --> 00:15:03,937 SHUT UP! 336 00:15:03,971 --> 00:15:05,805 YOU SHUT UP! 337 00:15:05,838 --> 00:15:08,308 WHAT'S THAT? I DIDN'T THINK I HEARD YA! 338 00:15:08,341 --> 00:15:09,342 EEW! 339 00:15:09,376 --> 00:15:10,944 EEW! 340 00:15:13,213 --> 00:15:14,447 WHOA! 341 00:15:14,481 --> 00:15:17,084 IT'S FINISHED. 342 00:15:17,117 --> 00:15:19,286 HEY, THAT--THAT'S GOOD. 343 00:15:19,319 --> 00:15:22,622 SO YOU GOING TO PAINT THE GARAGE NEXT? 344 00:15:22,655 --> 00:15:24,291 IMPOSSIBLE. 345 00:15:24,324 --> 00:15:26,994 I'VE GOT NOTHING LEFT TO GIVE. 346 00:15:34,201 --> 00:15:35,802 AHEM! 347 00:15:35,835 --> 00:15:37,270 UH-UH, NO, NO. 348 00:15:37,304 --> 00:15:39,973 JUST THE ONE. 349 00:15:47,547 --> 00:15:48,815 HEY, GOOD-LOOKING. 350 00:15:48,848 --> 00:15:50,517 HAVING A GOOD TIME? 351 00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:52,552 OF COURSE. 352 00:15:53,820 --> 00:15:55,488 QUITE A DIFFERENCE, EH? 353 00:15:55,522 --> 00:15:58,125 NOW THAT YOU'VE ELIMINATED ALL THE PROBLEM PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE, 354 00:15:58,158 --> 00:16:01,328 ONLY THE HAPPY ELITE REMAINS--YOU... 355 00:16:01,361 --> 00:16:03,196 AND ME. 356 00:16:04,231 --> 00:16:05,798 I GUESS. 357 00:16:05,832 --> 00:16:07,967 IS SOMETHING WRONG, DICK? 358 00:16:08,001 --> 00:16:10,170 WRONG? WHAT COULD BE WRONG? 359 00:16:10,203 --> 00:16:13,573 NO ONE'S CONTRADICTING ME. NO ONE'S TELLING ME TO LOWER MY VOICE. 360 00:16:13,606 --> 00:16:17,010 NO ONE'S TOLD ME NOT TO LICK THE SALT AND PEPPER SHAKERS. 361 00:16:17,044 --> 00:16:20,180 I'M CALM AND--AND--AND... 362 00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:22,915 I'M HAPPY. 363 00:16:22,949 --> 00:16:25,118 IT'S BORING, ISN'T IT? 364 00:16:25,152 --> 00:16:26,986 WELL, AS A MATTER OF FACT, IT IS. 365 00:16:27,020 --> 00:16:28,355 YOU KNOW WHY? 366 00:16:28,388 --> 00:16:31,158 BECAUSE THERE'S NO CONFLICT HERE, DICK, 367 00:16:31,191 --> 00:16:32,825 AND I THINK YOU NEED THAT. 368 00:16:32,859 --> 00:16:34,294 WELL, THAT'S NOT TRUE. 369 00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:35,395 ARE YOU SO SURE? 370 00:16:35,428 --> 00:16:37,364 WELL, MAYBE A LITTLE. 371 00:16:37,397 --> 00:16:38,931 YOU KNOW WHAT? 372 00:16:38,965 --> 00:16:41,034 YOU'RE NOT HAVING A GOOD TIME HERE, 373 00:16:41,068 --> 00:16:43,403 AND FRANKLY, NEITHER AM I. 374 00:16:43,436 --> 00:16:45,605 YOU KNOW WHOSE FAULT THAT IS? 375 00:16:45,638 --> 00:16:47,307 YOURS? 376 00:16:48,641 --> 00:16:50,743 IT'S THE BOOK'S FAULT. 377 00:16:50,777 --> 00:16:53,213 OH, MY GOD, YOU'RE RIGHT! 378 00:16:53,246 --> 00:16:55,848 I SHOULD'VE LISTENED TO YOU AND NOT THAT STUPID BOOK. 379 00:16:55,882 --> 00:16:58,185 I ALMOST THREW AWAY MARY. 380 00:16:58,218 --> 00:17:00,920 YEAH. AND SHE'S THE ONLY GOOD THING YOU'VE GOT GOING. 381 00:17:00,953 --> 00:17:06,193 HA. YEAH, NEVER A DULL MOMENT WITH MARY. 382 00:17:06,226 --> 00:17:07,494 WE'D BETTER GET OVER THERE. 383 00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:10,330 YEAH. I'M WITH YOU. LET'S GET OUT OF HERE-- 384 00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:13,166 OH, BY THE WAY, 385 00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:14,334 ABOUT THE CHECK. 386 00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:16,803 I KNOW. I KNOW. I'LL GET IT. 387 00:17:16,836 --> 00:17:17,937 YOU GO. 388 00:17:17,970 --> 00:17:21,541 THANKS, DICK. YOU'RE THE GREATEST! 389 00:17:21,574 --> 00:17:23,243 NO. 390 00:17:23,910 --> 00:17:25,812 CHECK PLEASE! 391 00:17:30,250 --> 00:17:31,818 THIS IS GOOD. 392 00:17:31,851 --> 00:17:33,153 WE JUST HAVE TO GET THROUGH THIS LAST TEST 393 00:17:33,186 --> 00:17:34,921 AND WE'VE MADE IT. 394 00:17:34,954 --> 00:17:37,790 SHE KNOWS HOW TO BREAK ME. SHE'LL BREAK ME. 395 00:17:37,824 --> 00:17:39,326 TOMMY, RELAX, MAN. 396 00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:40,960 YOU'VE TAKEN EVERYTHING SHE'S THROWN AT YOU. 397 00:17:40,993 --> 00:17:42,895 YOU'RE RIGHT. I HAVE. 398 00:17:42,929 --> 00:17:44,164 I'M A MOUNTAIN. 399 00:17:44,197 --> 00:17:46,199 I AM A MOUNTAIN! 400 00:17:47,300 --> 00:17:49,169 STAND UP, PLEBES! 401 00:17:50,170 --> 00:17:51,538 HI, LADIES. 402 00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:56,876 BOY, ARE YOU IN FOR A TREAT TODAY! 403 00:17:56,909 --> 00:18:00,480 I HAVE 3 TASTY POPOVERS RIGHT HERE. 404 00:18:00,513 --> 00:18:03,316 LADIES LIKE POPOVERS, DON'T THEY, LADIES? 405 00:18:03,350 --> 00:18:04,384 HUH? 406 00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:06,486 OK. HOLD OUT YOUR HANDS. 407 00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:09,556 ONE IS CHERRY. 408 00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:11,023 HUH? 409 00:18:11,057 --> 00:18:15,495 ONE IS APRICOT. 410 00:18:15,528 --> 00:18:19,732 AND ONE MAY OR MAY NOT BE SPIDER. 411 00:18:19,766 --> 00:18:20,800 UHH! 412 00:18:20,833 --> 00:18:22,702 I HAPPEN TO KNOW THAT ONE OF YOU 413 00:18:22,735 --> 00:18:26,473 IS PATHOLOGICALLY AFRAID OF SPIDERS. 414 00:18:26,506 --> 00:18:28,575 DON'T WORRY, TOMMY. IT'S JUST A PSYCHE-OUT. 415 00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:30,877 NO ONE WOULD ACTUALLY PUT A POISONOUS SPIDER IN A POPOVER. 416 00:18:30,910 --> 00:18:31,844 POISONOUS? 417 00:18:31,878 --> 00:18:33,680 DID SHE SAY POISONOUS? 418 00:18:33,713 --> 00:18:34,414 LADIES... 419 00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:35,148 AHEM! 420 00:18:35,182 --> 00:18:38,651 TAKE EAT OF THE POPOVER! 421 00:18:42,822 --> 00:18:45,258 MMM! APRICOT. 422 00:18:45,292 --> 00:18:45,625 OH! 423 00:18:45,658 --> 00:18:46,326 SPIDER? 424 00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:49,762 NO, CHERRY! I HATE CHERRY. 425 00:18:49,796 --> 00:18:53,433 CONGRATULATIONS, MEN. THAT'S FANTASTIC! 426 00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:55,067 YOU'VE JOINED THE FRATERNITY! 427 00:18:55,101 --> 00:18:56,669 [CHEERING] 428 00:18:56,703 --> 00:19:00,240 SADLY, EVERYONE EXCEPT TOMMY. 429 00:19:00,273 --> 00:19:02,542 TOMMY, BITE THE POPOVER... 430 00:19:02,575 --> 00:19:06,179 AND JOIN THE COVENANT OF YOUR BRETHREN. 431 00:19:06,213 --> 00:19:07,514 YEAH, COME ON, TOMMY. DO IT. 432 00:19:07,547 --> 00:19:09,081 YOU CAN DO IT! 433 00:19:09,949 --> 00:19:11,551 I CAN'T DO IT! 434 00:19:11,584 --> 00:19:14,987 All: BITE IT! BITE IT! BITE IT! BITE IT! 435 00:19:15,021 --> 00:19:16,956 BITE IT! BITE IT! BITE IT! BITE IT! 436 00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:18,391 BITE IT! BITE IT! 437 00:19:18,425 --> 00:19:21,060 WAIT! GUYS, LET ME EXPLAIN. 438 00:19:21,093 --> 00:19:22,729 SALLY IS MY AUNT, 439 00:19:22,762 --> 00:19:24,697 AND I WANTED TO GET INTO THIS FRAT SO BADLY, 440 00:19:24,731 --> 00:19:26,633 THAT I DID WHAT ANY OF YOU WOULD'VE DONE. 441 00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:28,167 I ASKED MY AUNT FOR HELP, 442 00:19:28,201 --> 00:19:29,802 BUT NOW, SHE'S GONE MAD WITH POWER, 443 00:19:29,836 --> 00:19:32,038 AND I THINK WE NEED TO KICK HER OUT. 444 00:19:32,071 --> 00:19:33,306 RIGHT? 445 00:19:33,340 --> 00:19:36,042 BROTHERS, UNITE! 446 00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:41,314 GET THE WEENY. 447 00:19:53,726 --> 00:19:55,428 MARY! AAH! 448 00:19:55,462 --> 00:19:55,928 WAKE UP, UP, UP, UP, UP! 449 00:19:55,962 --> 00:19:57,196 WHAT? I'M SLEEPING! 450 00:19:57,230 --> 00:19:58,631 HENCE THE DEMAND. 451 00:19:58,665 --> 00:19:59,799 I'M HERE FOR A FIGHT! 452 00:19:59,832 --> 00:20:00,567 WHAT DID I DO? 453 00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:01,368 NOTHING 454 00:20:01,401 --> 00:20:02,602 BUT LET'S FIND SOMETHING 455 00:20:02,635 --> 00:20:04,404 OR, OR, BETTER YET, SOMETHNIG I DID 456 00:20:04,437 --> 00:20:06,939 THAT'S A MUCH RICHER AREA. 457 00:20:06,973 --> 00:20:07,940 IS THIS FROM THE BOOK? 458 00:20:07,974 --> 00:20:09,542 OH, FORGET THE BOOK! 459 00:20:09,576 --> 00:20:11,110 THE BOOK JUST WANTS TO MAKE YOU HAPPY. 460 00:20:11,143 --> 00:20:12,612 AND YOU DON'T WANT TO BE HAPPY? 461 00:20:12,645 --> 00:20:14,714 NOT ALL THE TIME. IT'S NO FUN. 462 00:20:14,747 --> 00:20:16,048 I NEED CONFLICT. 463 00:20:16,082 --> 00:20:18,618 IT MAKES ME FEEL. IT MAKES ME LEARN! 464 00:20:18,651 --> 00:20:19,986 SO COME ON, BRING IT. 465 00:20:20,019 --> 00:20:22,322 NO, I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT. I'M HAPPY. 466 00:20:22,355 --> 00:20:23,089 NO, YOU'RE NOT. 467 00:20:23,122 --> 00:20:23,723 YES, I AM. 468 00:20:23,756 --> 00:20:24,724 YES, I AM. NO, YOU'RE NOT. 469 00:20:24,757 --> 00:20:25,892 NO, YOU'RE NOT. YES, I AM! 470 00:20:25,925 --> 00:20:29,128 YES, I AM! NO, YOU'RE NOT! 471 00:20:29,161 --> 00:20:31,431 THIS IS THE FACE OF PEACE AND TRANQUILITY-- 472 00:20:31,464 --> 00:20:33,900 PERMA-HAPPY MARY! 473 00:20:35,935 --> 00:20:38,338 OH, GOD, YOU'RE SEXY WHEN YOU'RE HAPPY. 474 00:20:38,371 --> 00:20:38,771 KISS ME. 475 00:20:38,805 --> 00:20:39,506 MMM! 476 00:20:39,539 --> 00:20:41,841 MMM! 477 00:20:45,144 --> 00:20:46,779 AH, SO TOMMY IS REALLY BUMMED 478 00:20:46,813 --> 00:20:48,315 HE DIDN'T GET INTO THAT FRATERNITY. 479 00:20:48,348 --> 00:20:50,650 GOOD! LET HIM FEEL MISERABLE NOW. 480 00:20:50,683 --> 00:20:53,185 THAT WAY, HE'LL APPRECIATE HOW GOOD HE FEELS 481 00:20:53,219 --> 00:20:54,354 WHEN HE FINALLY DOES GET IN. 482 00:20:54,387 --> 00:20:55,422 AH, NOT GONNA HAPPEN. 483 00:20:55,455 --> 00:20:58,425 I REWROTE THE BY-LAWS. 484 00:20:58,458 --> 00:20:59,626 YOU KNOW, IT'S WEIRD. 485 00:20:59,659 --> 00:21:02,662 IF A HUMAN WANTS TO BE RICH OR THIN OR HAPPY, 486 00:21:02,695 --> 00:21:04,797 THEY GOT TO READ ABOUT HOW TO DO IT IN A BOOK. 487 00:21:04,831 --> 00:21:08,935 YEAH, BUT ALL THE NEGATIVE CRAP SEEMS TO COME EASILY. 488 00:21:08,968 --> 00:21:10,903 THERE'S NO BOOK THAT TELLS YOU HOW TO BE 489 00:21:10,937 --> 00:21:13,205 SELFISH, STUPID OR OBNOXIOUS. 490 00:21:13,239 --> 00:21:17,176 HEY, MAYBE YOU SHOULD WRITE ONE. 491 00:21:17,209 --> 00:21:19,346 WELL, I COULD, BUT I'M TOO LAZY. 492 00:21:19,379 --> 00:21:21,648 YEAH. 33740

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