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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,241 --> 00:00:09,077 MARY? COMING TO LUNCH? 2 00:00:09,110 --> 00:00:11,479 A NEW SUSHI PLACE JUST OPENED. 3 00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:12,846 DICK, I CAN'T HAVE SUSHI. 4 00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:13,681 Dick: WHY NOT? 5 00:00:13,714 --> 00:00:16,050 I'M ALLERGIC. IT MAKES ME VOMIT. 6 00:00:16,084 --> 00:00:17,885 WHO COULD HAVE PUT THAT IDEA IN YOUR HEAD? 7 00:00:17,918 --> 00:00:20,621 THE PARAMEDICS. 8 00:00:20,654 --> 00:00:22,390 OH! I CAN'T HAVE LUNCH ANYWAY. 9 00:00:22,423 --> 00:00:24,225 I'M LATE FOR MY ACUPRESSURE APPOINTMENT. 10 00:00:24,258 --> 00:00:26,227 ACUPRESSURE. HOW EXOTIC. 11 00:00:26,260 --> 00:00:27,928 HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN GOING ON? 12 00:00:27,961 --> 00:00:31,199 EVERY TUESDAY FOR 6 MONTHS SINCE I HURT MY BACK BOWLING. 13 00:00:31,232 --> 00:00:36,437 BOWLING. WHEN DID YOU TAKE UP BOWLING? 14 00:00:36,470 --> 00:00:39,340 OH, OUR MARY'S FULL OF SURPRISES. 15 00:00:39,373 --> 00:00:42,210 THE BIG SURPRISE IS THAT SHE STAYS WITH YOU. 16 00:00:42,243 --> 00:00:43,844 YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HER. 17 00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:45,746 WELL, YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ME. 18 00:00:45,779 --> 00:00:48,249 YEAH. THAT'S RIGHT. 19 00:00:48,282 --> 00:00:50,017 WHAT'S HER FAVORITE FOOD? 20 00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:51,185 CHICKEN FRIED STEAK. 21 00:00:51,219 --> 00:00:52,286 THAT'S YOUR FAVORITE. 22 00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:53,454 WHAT'S HER FAVORITE MOVIE? 23 00:00:53,487 --> 00:00:55,223 UH, THAT'S EASY. A RENTAL I KEPT 24 00:00:55,256 --> 00:00:57,891 CALLED GAS PUMP GIRLS. 25 00:00:59,127 --> 00:01:01,195 WHAT COLOR ARE HER EYES? 26 00:01:01,229 --> 00:01:03,097 OH, OH, UH...THAT I KNOW. 27 00:01:03,131 --> 00:01:05,833 UH...MOSTLY WHITE ON THE OUTSIDE, 28 00:01:05,866 --> 00:01:10,604 AND IN THE MIDDLE... SOMETHING NOT WHITE. 29 00:01:10,638 --> 00:01:12,039 HER FAVORITE FOOD IS RATATOUILLE. 30 00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:14,875 HER EYES ARE BLUE OR GREEN DEPENDING ON WHAT SHE'S WEARING, 31 00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:18,879 AND HER FAVORITE MOVIE IS PARDON MY SARONG STARRING BOB HOPE. 32 00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:23,117 MY GOD! YOU SEEM TO KNOW EVEN MORE ABOUT MARY THAN I DO. 33 00:01:23,151 --> 00:01:24,952 DOES THAT TELL YOU ANYTHING? 34 00:01:24,985 --> 00:01:26,387 YES, IT DOES. 35 00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:28,789 YOU'VE GOT A THING FOR MY GIRLFRIEND! 36 00:02:05,193 --> 00:02:06,660 HA HA. THANKS, RICHARD. 37 00:02:06,694 --> 00:02:08,996 SOUNDS LIKE ONE HECK OF A GAME. 38 00:02:09,029 --> 00:02:12,400 ALL RIGHT. NOW HERE'S SALLY STORM WITH A WEATHER RECAP. 39 00:02:12,433 --> 00:02:13,133 SALLY? 40 00:02:13,167 --> 00:02:14,302 THANKS, CHAZ. 41 00:02:14,335 --> 00:02:15,669 WELL, THERE'S NO RAIN IN SIGHT, 42 00:02:15,703 --> 00:02:18,206 BUT BY SUNDOWN, YOU RUTHERFORD KITTENS 43 00:02:18,239 --> 00:02:19,440 BETTER FIND YOUR MITTENS. 44 00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:21,209 IT'S GONNA BE COLD. 45 00:02:21,242 --> 00:02:23,677 26 DEGREES BY MIDNIGHT. 46 00:02:23,711 --> 00:02:26,146 WOW. SEEMS LIKE A NICE NIGHT TO CUDDLE UP BY THE FIRE 47 00:02:26,180 --> 00:02:28,516 WITH A LITTLE SWISS MISS. 48 00:02:31,051 --> 00:02:34,355 BUT, CHAZ, WHAT YOU AND YOUR LITTLE EURO-TRASH GIRLFRIEND DO 49 00:02:34,388 --> 00:02:36,824 IS REALLY NONE OF OUR BUSINESS. 50 00:02:37,525 --> 00:02:39,660 I--I MEANT COCOA. 51 00:02:39,693 --> 00:02:43,197 AW. CAN'T EVEN KEEP TRACK OF THEIR NAMES. SO SAD. 52 00:02:43,231 --> 00:02:45,799 UH, YOU KNOW, I'M ACTUALLY STARTING TO THINK THAT 53 00:02:45,833 --> 00:02:46,667 THAT PLASTIC SURGEON 54 00:02:46,700 --> 00:02:48,402 GAVE YOU A LITTLE TOO MUCH KNOCK-OUT GAS 55 00:02:48,436 --> 00:02:50,938 WHEN YOU WENT IN FOR THAT FANNY TUCK. 56 00:02:51,639 --> 00:02:54,642 OK, I HAVE A HISTORY OF WEAK GLUTES IN MY FAMILY. 57 00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:59,947 OK, WHATEVER. ANYWAY, TUNE IN TOMORROW FOR MY 45-DAY FORECAST. 58 00:02:59,980 --> 00:03:01,949 I'M SALLY STORM. 59 00:03:01,982 --> 00:03:03,784 AND WE'RE CLEAR. 60 00:03:03,817 --> 00:03:05,886 SALLY, I JUST GOT THE LOCAL RATINGS. 61 00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:08,722 WE ARE NOW NUMBER 2 IN WEATHER. 62 00:03:08,756 --> 00:03:09,957 OH! AND NUMBER 3 IN NEWS. 63 00:03:09,990 --> 00:03:11,525 OH! YOU COULD BE GOING PLACES, SALLY. 64 00:03:11,559 --> 00:03:12,226 YOU'RE HOT! 65 00:03:12,260 --> 00:03:14,295 SO HOT. 66 00:03:14,328 --> 00:03:16,163 SOUNDS LIKE WE'RE A PRETTY GOOD TEAM, BUDDY. 67 00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:18,632 YEAH, LIKE JOHN AND YOKO. 68 00:03:19,433 --> 00:03:21,635 SACCO AND VANZETTI. 69 00:03:21,669 --> 00:03:25,339 BOB CLEASBY AND HIS 64th CHILDREN'S CHOIR. 70 00:03:25,906 --> 00:03:26,907 WHO ARE YOU AGAIN? 71 00:03:26,940 --> 00:03:28,242 OH, THAT'S JUST MY BROTHER HARRY. 72 00:03:28,276 --> 00:03:29,610 OH, WELL, YOU KNOW, UNLESS YOU WORK HERE, 73 00:03:29,643 --> 00:03:30,711 YOU REALLY SHOULDN'T BE HANGING AROUND. 74 00:03:30,744 --> 00:03:32,079 WELL, IF THAT'S AN OFFER TO WORK HERE, 75 00:03:32,112 --> 00:03:32,980 THEN I'D LOVE TO. 76 00:03:33,013 --> 00:03:35,483 HEY, UH... 77 00:03:35,516 --> 00:03:37,851 HEY, MAYBE HE COULD BE A GO-FER. 78 00:03:37,885 --> 00:03:38,619 A GOPHER? 79 00:03:38,652 --> 00:03:39,887 YEAH, EVERY STATION'S GOT ONE. 80 00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:41,489 EVERY STATION'S GOT A GOPHER? 81 00:03:41,522 --> 00:03:43,491 YEAH, YEAH. YOU'D BE SURPRISED 82 00:03:43,524 --> 00:03:44,492 AT HOW USEFUL THEY CAN BE. 83 00:03:44,525 --> 00:03:45,459 OH, YEAH, YEAH. 84 00:03:45,493 --> 00:03:47,861 I--I COULD SEE THAT. 85 00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:50,498 OH, WELL, IT'S SETTLED. START TOMORROW. 86 00:03:50,531 --> 00:03:52,833 THAT WAS REALLY NICE OF YOU, CHAZ. THANKS. 87 00:03:52,866 --> 00:03:55,436 SURE. ANYTHING FOR YOU, TEAMMATE, AND I MEAN THAT. 88 00:03:55,469 --> 00:03:57,505 ANYTHING. 89 00:03:57,538 --> 00:04:02,075 OK, WELL, YOU KNOW, I REALLY ENJOY PREDICTING THE WEATHER, 90 00:04:02,109 --> 00:04:06,380 BUT, UH...I'D LOVE TO MOVE UP AND START PREDICTING THE NEWS. 91 00:04:06,414 --> 00:04:08,081 OH. 92 00:04:08,115 --> 00:04:09,983 YOU KNOW, YOU MIGHT BE AT THE TOP OF THE WEATHER GAME, 93 00:04:10,017 --> 00:04:11,685 BUT THERE'S A LOT TO LEARN ABOUT THE NEWS. 94 00:04:11,719 --> 00:04:12,620 WILL YOU TEACH ME? 95 00:04:12,653 --> 00:04:13,587 OH, SURE, I'LL SHOW YOU THE ROPES. 96 00:04:13,621 --> 00:04:15,623 THEY'RE SLIPPERY, BUT I'LL SHOW YOU. 97 00:04:15,656 --> 00:04:17,291 OK, ON YOUR WAY IN TOMORROW, 98 00:04:17,325 --> 00:04:18,726 WHY DON'T YOU PICK UP A COUPLE OF DOZEN DOUGHNUTS? 99 00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:20,961 OH, YOU KNOW WHAT? I'LL PROBABLY ONLY NEED 2, 100 00:04:20,994 --> 00:04:26,634 BUT, UH...MAYBE I'LL BRING IN THE REST FOR YOU GUYS. 101 00:04:31,071 --> 00:04:33,307 AND LEAVE A LOT OF EXTRA ROOM IN THE LEGS. 102 00:04:33,341 --> 00:04:37,411 I WANT TO ABLE TO MOVE FAST IN MY THICK GOPHER PELT. 103 00:04:38,812 --> 00:04:41,382 SURE, SURE. SO, UH... 104 00:04:41,415 --> 00:04:43,351 WHY ARE YOU DRESSING LIKE A RODENT? 105 00:04:43,384 --> 00:04:49,256 OH, UM, NO, WE PREFER TO BE CALLED VARMINT AMERICANS. 106 00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:51,425 HARRY'S GOT A JOB DOWN AT THE STATION. 107 00:04:51,459 --> 00:04:54,261 OH, DO YOU MEAN LIKE SOME KIND OF A MASCOT? 108 00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:58,632 OH, YEAH! THAT WOULD BE GREAT! 109 00:04:58,666 --> 00:05:00,768 YOU KNOW, I TWISTED MY ANKLE 110 00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:02,836 IN A GOPHER HOLE 9 YEARS AGO. 111 00:05:02,870 --> 00:05:05,205 GOD, THAT REMINDS ME. 112 00:05:05,238 --> 00:05:09,577 I HAVE TO REFILL THAT PAIN MEDICATION ON THAT. 113 00:05:10,944 --> 00:05:13,213 DICK, GREAT NEWS FROM THE STATION. 114 00:05:13,246 --> 00:05:14,715 I'M NUMBER 2 IN WEATHER. 115 00:05:14,748 --> 00:05:16,083 OH, BIG DEAL. 116 00:05:16,116 --> 00:05:17,818 YOU'RE FORECASTING ATMOSPHERIC CONDITIONS 117 00:05:17,851 --> 00:05:19,653 ON A PLANET THAT ONLY HAS ONE SUN. 118 00:05:19,687 --> 00:05:22,022 WELL, YEAH, BUT, I MEAN, YOU KNOW, 119 00:05:22,055 --> 00:05:25,659 IF I LEARN FROM CHAZ, I CAN BECOME A SERIOUS NEWSPERSON. 120 00:05:25,693 --> 00:05:27,194 WELL, HERE'S A NEWS FLASH. 121 00:05:27,227 --> 00:05:29,830 NINA TOLD ME THAT I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT MARY. 122 00:05:29,863 --> 00:05:31,164 WHAT'S NOT TO KNOW? 123 00:05:31,198 --> 00:05:33,634 WELL, I MEAN, SHE'S STUCK UP, BORING-- 124 00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,969 AND AN EXCELLENT BOWLER. 125 00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:37,971 I KNOW ALL THAT, BUT WHAT ELSE? 126 00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:40,608 SHE LIKES NEEDLEPOINT AND FLAVORED COFFEES. 127 00:05:40,641 --> 00:05:42,376 HER ZEAL FOR WALKING IN THE RAIN 128 00:05:42,410 --> 00:05:45,546 IS ECLIPSED ONLY BY HER FERVOR FOR STAMP-COLLECTING. 129 00:05:45,579 --> 00:05:47,180 WHY DON'T I KNOW ANY OF THAT? 130 00:05:47,214 --> 00:05:49,116 WELL, BECAUSE YOU'RE A TYPICAL GUY. 131 00:05:49,149 --> 00:05:50,684 YA PIG! 132 00:05:50,718 --> 00:05:53,521 OH, DICK, DICK, DICK, SIT DOWN. 133 00:05:53,554 --> 00:05:54,922 ALL RIGHT, LOOK, 134 00:05:54,955 --> 00:05:56,890 I'VE BEEN A WOMAN FOR 5 YEARS NOW. 135 00:05:56,924 --> 00:05:59,192 SO, LISTEN TO ME, OK? 136 00:05:59,226 --> 00:06:00,661 IF YOU WANT TO KEEP ALBRIGHT, 137 00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:02,362 YOU'VE GOT TO START PAYING ATTENTION 138 00:06:02,396 --> 00:06:04,097 TO THE THINGS SHE LIKES TO DO. 139 00:06:04,131 --> 00:06:07,768 I MEAN, JUST LET HER KNOW THAT IN YOUR LIFE 140 00:06:07,801 --> 00:06:09,503 SHE COMES FIRST. 141 00:06:09,537 --> 00:06:10,571 BUT I THOUGHT THAT HONESTY 142 00:06:10,604 --> 00:06:13,574 WAS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN A RELATIONSHIP. 143 00:06:21,181 --> 00:06:22,583 GOOD MORNING, MARY. 144 00:06:22,616 --> 00:06:24,251 WHAT ARE THESE? 145 00:06:24,284 --> 00:06:26,119 YOUR FAVORITE FLOWERS. 146 00:06:26,153 --> 00:06:28,288 LILACS AREN'T MY FAVORITE FLOWERS. 147 00:06:28,321 --> 00:06:29,389 WELL, OF COURSE THEY ARE. 148 00:06:29,423 --> 00:06:31,091 I SAW YOU BUYING THEM JUST YESTERDAY. 149 00:06:31,124 --> 00:06:35,629 I BOUGHT LILACS YESTERDAY TO PUT ON MY GRANDMOTHER'S GRAVE. 150 00:06:35,663 --> 00:06:37,565 AND AS LUCK WOULD HAVE IT, 151 00:06:37,598 --> 00:06:40,468 THEY WERE STILL THERE. 152 00:06:40,501 --> 00:06:42,102 WELL, AND THERE'S MORE. 153 00:06:42,135 --> 00:06:44,738 HOW'S THIS FOR COMBINING YOUR INTERESTS? 154 00:06:44,772 --> 00:06:46,507 A STAMP FOR YOUR COLLECTION 155 00:06:46,540 --> 00:06:49,376 CELEBRATING NEEDLEPOINT. 156 00:06:51,178 --> 00:06:54,081 DICK, I DON'T COLLECT STAMPS, 157 00:06:54,114 --> 00:06:56,183 AND I HAVE NO INTEREST IN NEEDLEPOINT. 158 00:06:56,216 --> 00:06:58,952 YEAH. I KNOW THAT. 159 00:06:59,987 --> 00:07:01,889 DAMN THAT HARRY! 160 00:07:02,856 --> 00:07:06,560 MARY, DO I LOOK LIKE A QUEEN IN A SAILOR'S DREAM? 161 00:07:06,594 --> 00:07:08,596 YOU GOT THE TICKETS! 162 00:07:08,629 --> 00:07:09,697 THE TICKETS? OH! 163 00:07:09,730 --> 00:07:12,700 TENTH ROW. YOU AND I AND AN EVENING 164 00:07:12,733 --> 00:07:15,002 WITH WOODSY BALLADEER GORDON LIGHTFOOT. 165 00:07:15,035 --> 00:07:17,838 [BOTH SQUEALING] 166 00:07:17,871 --> 00:07:20,273 IT'S AN EXCITING DAY FOR US ALL. 167 00:07:20,307 --> 00:07:22,610 ANYBODY UP FOR A DUMB-ASS BOB HOPE MOVIE? 168 00:07:22,643 --> 00:07:25,078 OH, THANK YOU FOR DOING THIS, JUDITH. 169 00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:28,281 WELL, MARY, IF ANYONE DIGS LIGHTFOOT AS HARD AS I DO, 170 00:07:28,315 --> 00:07:29,650 IT'S MARY ALBRIGHT. 171 00:07:29,683 --> 00:07:31,418 YOU KNOW ME SO WELL. 172 00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:34,054 WE ALL DO, MARY. 173 00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:37,525 JUDITH, WE ARE SO TOUCHED BY YOUR ALTRUISM, 174 00:07:37,558 --> 00:07:38,792 BUT HERE, TAKE THESE BACK. 175 00:07:38,826 --> 00:07:39,893 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 176 00:07:39,927 --> 00:07:42,129 OH, I KNOW HOW MUCH YOU LOVE GORDON LIGHTFOOT, MARY. 177 00:07:42,162 --> 00:07:44,632 SO I'VE ALREADY GOT US 2 TICKETS, 178 00:07:44,665 --> 00:07:45,699 BUT THEY'RE IN THE FRONT ROW. 179 00:07:45,733 --> 00:07:48,435 YOU DID? WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY ANYTHING? 180 00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:52,439 WELL, I'M NOT A SHOWY PERSON, MARY. 181 00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:54,007 JUDITH, I'M SURE THERE ARE A PLETHORA 182 00:07:54,041 --> 00:07:55,709 OF ELIGIBLE BACHELORS OUT THERE 183 00:07:55,743 --> 00:07:57,911 WHO'D BE HAPPY TO TAKE THAT EXTRA TICKET. 184 00:07:57,945 --> 00:07:58,946 OF COURSE THERE ARE. 185 00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:00,714 NINA, YOU WANT TO COME WITH? 186 00:08:00,748 --> 00:08:02,583 I THOUGHT YOU'D NEVER ASK, 187 00:08:02,616 --> 00:08:04,184 AND I WAS HAPPY ABOUT THAT. 188 00:08:04,217 --> 00:08:05,753 OH, YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE IT, NINA. 189 00:08:05,786 --> 00:08:06,787 ONCE WHEN I WAS IN COLLEGE, 190 00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:09,056 I SNUCK INTO A GORDON LIGHTFOOT CONCERT. 191 00:08:09,089 --> 00:08:12,192 IT WAS THE MOST FUN I HAVE EVER HAD! 192 00:08:12,225 --> 00:08:15,362 WELL, YOU WON'T HAVE TO SNEAK IN THIS TIME, PUMPKIN. 193 00:08:15,395 --> 00:08:18,298 OH, GOD. IF HE SINGS THE WRECK OF THE EDMUND FITZGERALD, 194 00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:21,969 I WILL THROW MY PANTIES ON THE STAGE... 195 00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:23,604 AGAIN. 196 00:08:23,637 --> 00:08:24,572 MARY, WE'LL BE SO CLOSE 197 00:08:24,605 --> 00:08:26,439 THAT YOU'LL BE ABLE TO SNATCH GORDON'S PANTIES 198 00:08:26,473 --> 00:08:28,876 AND THROW THEM BACK TO JUDITH. 199 00:08:28,909 --> 00:08:30,578 SEE YOU THERE, GIRLS. 200 00:08:30,611 --> 00:08:32,145 OHH! 201 00:08:36,917 --> 00:08:38,886 AAH! 202 00:08:38,919 --> 00:08:41,388 HARRY, YOU'RE HERE EARLY. 203 00:08:41,421 --> 00:08:45,458 IT'S MY NATURE TO RISE AT DAWN AND FORAGE. 204 00:08:47,494 --> 00:08:48,729 BUT I CAN'T OFFICIALLY START WORK YET. 205 00:08:48,762 --> 00:08:51,498 I'M HAVING A SPECIAL SUIT MADE, AND IT'S NOT READY YET. 206 00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:53,300 THAT'S NICE BUT IT'S NOT NECESSARY 207 00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:55,335 WE'RE VERY CASUAL AROUND HERE. 208 00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:58,839 WITHOUT THE SUIT, HOW ARE PEOPLE GOING TO KNOW I'M A GOPHER? 209 00:08:59,573 --> 00:09:00,540 IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU WEAR 210 00:09:00,574 --> 00:09:03,110 AS LONG AS YOU'RE HERE BEING OUR GOFER. 211 00:09:03,143 --> 00:09:04,344 OH, I SEE, I SEE. 212 00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:08,248 SO IT'S MORE OF A METHOD GOPHER. 213 00:09:08,281 --> 00:09:10,217 WHATEVER METHOD WORKS FOR YOU. 214 00:09:10,250 --> 00:09:13,253 ALL RIGHT. 215 00:09:13,286 --> 00:09:15,956 HEY, HARRY. CAN YOU RUN THIS TAPE UP TO EDITING FOR ME? 216 00:09:15,989 --> 00:09:18,759 I CAN RUN. I GOT STRONG HIND LEGS 217 00:09:18,792 --> 00:09:21,729 AND A LOW CENTER OF GRAVITY. 218 00:09:21,762 --> 00:09:25,332 COMES IN HANDY WHEN ELUDING MY NATURAL PREDATOR... 219 00:09:25,365 --> 00:09:27,300 MAN. 220 00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:30,070 OK. SEE, I JUST NEED THAT TO GO UP TO EDITING. 221 00:09:30,103 --> 00:09:30,904 ALL RIGHT. YEAH, THANKS. 222 00:09:30,938 --> 00:09:32,305 OH HEY CHAZ 223 00:09:32,339 --> 00:09:35,342 HEY SALLY. DID YOU DO THE ANCHORMAN VOCAL EXCERCISES I TOLD YOU ABOUT? 224 00:09:35,375 --> 00:09:36,844 YEAH I DID 225 00:09:36,877 --> 00:09:38,812 BUT, YOU KNOW, I DON'T SEE HOW IT'S GOING TO MAKE ME A BETTER REPORTER 226 00:09:38,846 --> 00:09:41,314 BY REPEATING "OH CHAZ" 227 00:09:41,348 --> 00:09:42,215 "OH CHAZ" 228 00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:45,052 OVER AND OVER AGAIN INTO THIS TAPE RECORDER 229 00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:47,921 UH, HARD NEWS REQUIRES HARD DICTION 230 00:09:47,955 --> 00:09:49,823 I-- I'LL TAKE THIS. OH. 231 00:09:49,857 --> 00:09:51,558 SO, UH, YOU THINK I'M READY TO GO OUT IN THE FIELD? 232 00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:53,794 YES, WE'RE GONNA THROW YOU IN THE DEEP END. 233 00:09:53,827 --> 00:09:56,730 DINNER AND THEN A GORDON LIGHTFOOT SHOW AT THE RUTHERDOME. 234 00:09:56,764 --> 00:09:58,365 THE STATION'S GOT A LUXURY BOX. 235 00:09:58,398 --> 00:10:00,701 OK. GORDON LIGHTFOOT. 236 00:10:00,734 --> 00:10:03,270 UM, OK, I KNOW JUST WHAT I'D ASK HIM. 237 00:10:03,303 --> 00:10:05,372 UM, AHEM.. UH, MR LIGHTFOOT, 238 00:10:05,405 --> 00:10:08,308 YOU'VE BEEN IN THE MUSIC INDUSTRY FOR THREE DECADES 239 00:10:08,341 --> 00:10:13,046 UM, GIVEN THE RECENT CHANGES IN MUSIC DISTRIBUTION VIA THE INTERNET 240 00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:17,284 WOULD YOU RATHER BE ATTACKED BY A BEAR OR A BEAR WITH A GUN? 241 00:10:21,221 --> 00:10:26,159 EXCUSE ME. ARE YOU THE TICKET MIAETRO? 242 00:10:26,193 --> 00:10:27,627 NOW I AM. 243 00:10:27,661 --> 00:10:30,030 OH, GOOD 244 00:10:30,063 --> 00:10:33,233 CAN I HAVE TWO TICKETS TO GORDON LIGHTFOOT, FRONT ROW 245 00:10:33,266 --> 00:10:36,369 EQUAL DISTANCE FROM THE AISLE AND THE CONCESSION STAND. 246 00:10:36,403 --> 00:10:38,205 THAT SHOULDN'T BE A PROBLEM. [KEYBOARD CLICKS] 247 00:10:38,238 --> 00:10:39,439 ARE YOU INTERESTED IN SUBSCRIBING 248 00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:40,941 TO OUR ENTERTAINMENT MAGAZINE? 249 00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:43,176 NO, I'M NOT INTERESTED IN ENTERTAINMENT, 250 00:10:43,210 --> 00:10:46,313 I'M INTERESTED IN SEEING GORDON LIGHTFOOT. 251 00:10:46,346 --> 00:10:47,781 CAN I GET YOUR ZIP CODE, PLEASE? 252 00:10:47,815 --> 00:10:49,917 ZIP CODE? LOOK, I'M ON MY LUNCH BREAK HERE. 253 00:10:49,950 --> 00:10:51,284 CAN'T YOU JUST GIVE ME THE TICKETS? 254 00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:52,252 WELL, I CAN'T ORDER THE TICKETS 255 00:10:52,285 --> 00:10:53,887 UNTIL YOU'RE IN THE CUSTOMER DATABASE. 256 00:10:53,921 --> 00:10:56,289 BUT I DON'T WANT TO BE IN THE CUSTOMER DATABASE. 257 00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:57,858 THAT'S BIZARRE. [KEYBOARD CLICKS] 258 00:10:57,891 --> 00:11:01,528 OK, I'M SHOWING 2 SEATS TO GORDON LIGHTFOOT AT THE RUTHERDOME. 259 00:11:01,561 --> 00:11:03,897 OH, THANK GOD! 260 00:11:03,931 --> 00:11:05,298 LAST ROW, BALCONY. 261 00:11:05,332 --> 00:11:06,834 LAST ROW? BALCONY? 262 00:11:06,867 --> 00:11:07,968 DON'T YOU HAVE ANYTHING CLOSER? 263 00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:09,102 ONLY SOME SCATTERED SINGLES. 264 00:11:09,136 --> 00:11:11,805 OH, WELL, THEN... 265 00:11:11,839 --> 00:11:15,275 I GUESS I'LL TAKE THE BALCONY SEATS. 266 00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:18,578 SORRY, THE BALCONY SEATS ARE GONE. 267 00:11:18,611 --> 00:11:21,314 GONE? THEN I'LL TAKE THE SINGLES. 268 00:11:21,348 --> 00:11:22,449 OH, NOW THEY'RE GONE. 269 00:11:22,482 --> 00:11:24,317 WE'RE SOLD OUT. 270 00:11:25,986 --> 00:11:27,988 HOW CAN THAT BE? 271 00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:29,589 I'M NOT THE ONLY TICKET MAESTRO, DUDE. 272 00:11:29,622 --> 00:11:32,425 YOU'RE NOT A TICKET MAESTRO AT ALL! 273 00:11:32,459 --> 00:11:33,693 DON'T YOU HAVE ANYTHING? 274 00:11:33,727 --> 00:11:35,195 [KEYBOARD CLICKS] 275 00:11:35,228 --> 00:11:37,831 I GOT A 2-FOR-1 SPECIAL FOR THE ICE CAPADES. 276 00:11:37,865 --> 00:11:40,333 SAME NIGHT AT THE WAR MEMORIAL. 277 00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:42,569 ICE CAPADES. 278 00:11:42,602 --> 00:11:44,972 MY TREASURED RELATIONSHIP HANGS IN THE BALANCE, 279 00:11:45,005 --> 00:11:48,008 AND ALL YOU CAN OFFER ME ARE WASHED-UP OLYMPIANS, 280 00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:50,710 SOME OF THEM NOT EVEN MEDALISTS, 281 00:11:50,744 --> 00:11:55,916 MINCING AROUND ON THE ICE WITH A BUNCH OF FUZZY CARTOON CHARACTERS! 282 00:11:55,949 --> 00:11:58,285 THEY'RE GOING FAST. 283 00:11:58,318 --> 00:11:59,787 2, PLEASE. 284 00:12:04,624 --> 00:12:05,492 HEY, SALLY, HOW'S THE WEATHER? 285 00:12:05,525 --> 00:12:06,493 OH, LISTEN, CHAZ, 286 00:12:06,526 --> 00:12:08,295 I WAS WONDERING, UM... 287 00:12:08,328 --> 00:12:10,363 IF I REALLY NAIL THIS WHOLE NEWS THING, 288 00:12:10,397 --> 00:12:12,699 DO YOU THINK I COULD GET A JOB ON THE VIEW? 289 00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:13,767 BECAUSE I WATCH THAT SHOW, 290 00:12:13,801 --> 00:12:18,105 AND I COULD KICK THE CRAP OUT OF ANY ONE OF THEM. 291 00:12:18,138 --> 00:12:20,507 WELL, MAYBE NOT THE BIG ONE. 292 00:12:20,540 --> 00:12:22,509 YOU KNOW, SALLY, I DON'T MEAN TO BRAG HERE, 293 00:12:22,542 --> 00:12:25,779 BUT I HAPPEN TO KNOW THE LADY FINDER OVER AT THE VIEW. 294 00:12:25,813 --> 00:12:27,380 REALLY? YES, ABSOLUTELY. 295 00:12:27,414 --> 00:12:29,716 I MEAN, INSIDE CONNECTIONS ARE EVERYTHING IN THIS BUSINESS. 296 00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:31,051 AND ALONG THOSE SAME LINES, 297 00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:33,186 I GOT YOU A CORSAGE. 298 00:12:33,220 --> 00:12:38,658 HEY! A PIN-ON FLOWER! 299 00:12:38,691 --> 00:12:42,162 THIS IS LIKE SOMETHING BARBARA WALTERS WOULD WEAR. 300 00:12:42,195 --> 00:12:43,997 THIS JOB'S SO COOL. YEAH. 301 00:12:44,031 --> 00:12:47,067 HEY, UH, ALSO, LISTEN, UH, AFTER DINNER, WE'RE GONNA STOP BY MY HOME 302 00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:48,335 SO YOU CAN MEET MY MOM. 303 00:12:48,368 --> 00:12:49,837 YOUR MOM? YEAH. 304 00:12:49,870 --> 00:12:51,972 THAT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE A WORK THING. 305 00:12:52,005 --> 00:12:56,910 SALLY, MY MOM WAS THE FIRST WOMAN ON THE MOON. 306 00:12:58,812 --> 00:13:00,613 OH, MY GOD! I HAD NO IDEA. 307 00:13:00,647 --> 00:13:05,485 YEAH, NOBODY DOES. THAT'S WHY I'M GIVING YOU THE EXCLUSIVE. 308 00:13:07,487 --> 00:13:09,622 THE EXCLUSIVE. 309 00:13:12,359 --> 00:13:15,996 REPORTING LIVE FROM THE FIRST WOMAN ON THE MOON. 310 00:13:16,029 --> 00:13:18,598 I'M SALLY STORM. 311 00:13:23,603 --> 00:13:25,839 Radio: OK, OUR LAST PAIR OF TICKETS TO GORDON LIGHTFOOT 312 00:13:25,873 --> 00:13:28,508 ARE WAITING FOR CALLER NUMBER 29! 313 00:13:28,541 --> 00:13:30,543 THAT'S IT! GO! AAH! 314 00:13:30,577 --> 00:13:31,945 FASTER, HARRY! 315 00:13:31,979 --> 00:13:34,047 MY WHOLE FUTURE WITH MARY IS RIDING ON THIS! 316 00:13:34,081 --> 00:13:35,582 WELL, THEN WHY DON'T YOU DIAL? 317 00:13:35,615 --> 00:13:37,117 NO, I'M EMOTIONALLY TAXED, 318 00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:40,653 AND I JUST HAD A MANICURE FOR THE CONCERT. 319 00:13:40,687 --> 00:13:45,492 GUYS, WISH ME LUCK. I'M GOING ON A FIELD ASSIGNMENT WITH CHAZ. 320 00:13:45,525 --> 00:13:46,726 WE'RE VERY BUSY, SALLY. 321 00:13:46,759 --> 00:13:49,362 I-I-I'VE GOT TO WIN TICKETS TO GORDON LIGHTFOOT. 322 00:13:49,396 --> 00:13:53,066 GORDON LIGHTFOOT? DICK, THE STATION OWNS-- 323 00:13:53,100 --> 00:13:57,070 SALLY, PLEASE! NOT ANOTHER WORD ABOUT THAT INSIPID STATION. 324 00:13:57,104 --> 00:14:00,040 AT LEAST WHEN YOU'RE ON TV, I CAN HIT THE MUTE BUTTON. 325 00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:04,912 FINE! I WAS GOING TO SAY 326 00:14:04,945 --> 00:14:08,448 I COULD GET YOU INTO A LUXURY BOX FOR THE CONCERT, 327 00:14:08,481 --> 00:14:09,983 BUT JUST FORGET IT! 328 00:14:10,017 --> 00:14:11,651 OH, I WILL! 329 00:14:14,721 --> 00:14:16,890 WHAT?! SALLY, WAIT! 330 00:14:16,924 --> 00:14:20,093 OH, OH, OH, DICK! I'M THE 29th CALLER! 331 00:14:20,127 --> 00:14:21,694 SHUT YOUR PIE TRAP, HARRY! 332 00:14:21,728 --> 00:14:24,597 I JUST LOST TICKETS BECAUSE I WAS RUDE TO SALLY! 333 00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:27,667 WHAT?! 334 00:14:29,937 --> 00:14:32,105 Radio: ALL RIGHT, WE HAVE HARRY SOLOMON ON THE LINE. 335 00:14:32,139 --> 00:14:33,106 ARE YOU READY? 336 00:14:33,140 --> 00:14:34,241 YES, I AM! 337 00:14:34,274 --> 00:14:36,376 OK, HARRY. FOR 2 TICKETS, 338 00:14:36,409 --> 00:14:40,047 WHAT WAS GORDON LIGHTFOOT'S FIRST AMERICAN SINGLE? 339 00:14:43,083 --> 00:14:44,451 I HAVE NO IDEA. 340 00:14:44,484 --> 00:14:46,686 OK, IF YOU COULD READ MY MIND, LOVE. 341 00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:48,555 NOW, DON'T GET ALL TENDER NOW, HARRY. 342 00:14:48,588 --> 00:14:51,724 Radio: CORRECT! IF YOU COULD READ MY MIND, LOVE! 343 00:14:51,758 --> 00:14:53,126 JUST BRING YOUR PHOTO I.D. DOWN TO WILL-CALL, 344 00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:54,627 AND THE TICKETS ARE YOURS. 345 00:14:54,661 --> 00:14:56,763 YOU MEAN I WON? YOU WON, ALL RIGHT. 346 00:14:56,796 --> 00:14:58,365 AND NOW, LESS TALK, MORE LIGHTFOOT. 347 00:14:58,398 --> 00:15:03,036 I WON! HARRY, I WON. OH, THANK GOD! 348 00:15:03,070 --> 00:15:04,571 LOOK, I'VE GOT TO GET DRESSED AND PICK UP MARY. 349 00:15:04,604 --> 00:15:05,538 I'LL MEET YOU DOWN THERE. 350 00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:06,873 YOU GO FOR THE TICKETS. 351 00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:08,141 YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M GETTING TIRED 352 00:15:08,175 --> 00:15:11,211 OF EVERYONE ALWAYS TELLING ME WHAT TO DO. 353 00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:14,047 GO FOR THIS. GO FOR THAT. 354 00:15:14,081 --> 00:15:16,749 HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A SERIOUS GOPHER 355 00:15:16,783 --> 00:15:20,787 WHEN EVERYONE'S ALWAYS TREATING ME LIKE AN ERRAND BOY? 356 00:15:26,326 --> 00:15:29,929 HEY, BUDDY. I'LL GIVE YOU 50 BUCKS APIECE FOR THOSE. 357 00:15:29,963 --> 00:15:32,765 YOU MUST BE STUPID. 358 00:15:32,799 --> 00:15:34,334 ALL RIGHT, I'LL GIVE YOU 60 BUCKS. 359 00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:37,404 YEAH, HAVE YOU BOUGHT CONCERT TICKETS LATELY? 360 00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:38,805 HOW MUCH DO YOU WANT FOR 'EM, MAN? 361 00:15:38,838 --> 00:15:43,143 WELL, IT SAYS RIGHT HERE THEY COST $28. 362 00:15:44,344 --> 00:15:47,014 OK, THEN I'LL GIVE YOU $28 FOR THEM. 363 00:15:47,047 --> 00:15:48,381 THAT'S MORE LIKE IT. 364 00:15:48,415 --> 00:15:50,950 OH, BUT NO, NO, NO, I CAN'T SELL THESE. 365 00:15:50,984 --> 00:15:53,020 I'M SUPPOSED TO HOLD ON TO THEM UNTIL DICK GETS HERE. 366 00:15:53,053 --> 00:15:55,622 HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT? I JUST TALKED TO DICK. 367 00:15:55,655 --> 00:15:56,956 HE SAID HE'S NOT COMING. 368 00:15:56,990 --> 00:15:59,426 OH, REALLY? 369 00:16:00,727 --> 00:16:02,895 ENJOY THE SHOW. 370 00:16:04,097 --> 00:16:05,332 EXCUSE ME. 371 00:16:05,365 --> 00:16:07,300 FRONT ROW, LIGHTFOOT, 250. 372 00:16:07,334 --> 00:16:08,801 HARRY! HARRY! 373 00:16:08,835 --> 00:16:11,471 HEY. HEY, ALBRIGHT, NICE JACKET. 374 00:16:11,504 --> 00:16:12,805 WHO IS THAT ON THERE? 375 00:16:12,839 --> 00:16:14,207 IT'S A PIRATE. I ACTUALLY DREW THIS PIRATE MYSELF. 376 00:16:14,241 --> 00:16:16,843 YEAH, YEAH, NO ONE CARES, MARY. 377 00:16:16,876 --> 00:16:19,746 OH, LOOK. GORDON LIGHTFOOT T-SHIRTS. 378 00:16:19,779 --> 00:16:22,182 DOUBLE XL FOR ME, PLEASE. 379 00:16:23,183 --> 00:16:24,917 HARRY, QUICK. WHERE'S THE TICKETS? 380 00:16:24,951 --> 00:16:26,619 I SOLD THEM! 381 00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:27,887 BUT I NEED THOSE TICKETS. 382 00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:29,856 WELL, THEN YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TOLD THAT GUY YOU WEREN'T COMING. 383 00:16:29,889 --> 00:16:31,891 I NEVER TOLD ANYBODY I WASN'T COMING. 384 00:16:31,924 --> 00:16:33,060 WELL, DICK, THAT'S JUST BAD PLANNING. 385 00:16:33,093 --> 00:16:35,762 IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA COME, YOU ALWAYS GOTTA TELL SOMEBODY. 386 00:16:41,068 --> 00:16:43,370 OH, WOW, CHAZ! 387 00:16:43,403 --> 00:16:47,240 THIS IS THE PERFECT PLACE TO INTERVIEW GORDON LIGHTFOOT. 388 00:16:47,274 --> 00:16:50,210 YEAH, UH, ABOUT THAT, UM... 389 00:16:50,243 --> 00:16:51,678 THERE'S SOME BAD NEWS. 390 00:16:51,711 --> 00:16:54,181 GORDO IS A NO-GO ON THAT. SORRY. 391 00:16:54,214 --> 00:16:56,716 OH, NO. 392 00:16:56,749 --> 00:17:00,487 SO, UH, WHAT? WE JUST, UH, WE WATCH THE CONCERT 393 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,522 AND THEN REPORT ON IT LATER? 394 00:17:02,555 --> 00:17:07,026 SALLY, ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT ARROWS IN A NEWSPERSON'S QUIVER 395 00:17:07,060 --> 00:17:09,496 IS THE ARROW OF PATIENCE. 396 00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:11,564 YEAH. YES. 397 00:17:12,665 --> 00:17:14,967 AND CANDLES. 398 00:17:16,136 --> 00:17:18,371 AND CHAMPAGNE. 399 00:17:18,405 --> 00:17:20,240 WHAT? 400 00:17:20,273 --> 00:17:25,678 THIS IS CHAZ MONTANA REPORTING LIVE FROM THE RUTHERDOME WHERE... 401 00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:28,681 I'M FALLING IN LOVE. 402 00:17:29,649 --> 00:17:32,018 OH, MY GOD. WHAT IS GOING ON? 403 00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:35,522 SALLY, YOU CAN'T REPORT THE NEWS TO THE PEOPLE 404 00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:38,591 UNLESS YOU LOVE THE PEOPLE. 405 00:17:38,625 --> 00:17:41,194 START WITH ME. 406 00:17:43,463 --> 00:17:44,131 UH, OK. 407 00:17:44,164 --> 00:17:46,166 UM, STOP IT, CHAZ, 408 00:17:46,199 --> 00:17:49,902 BECAUSE I AM REPULSED BY YOU SEXUALLY. 409 00:17:51,138 --> 00:17:52,472 THEN WHY ARE YOU HERE? 410 00:17:52,505 --> 00:17:54,507 FOR THE STORY, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? 411 00:17:54,541 --> 00:17:55,708 I'M BEGINNING TO THINK YOUR MOTHER 412 00:17:55,742 --> 00:17:58,611 WASN'T THE FIRST WOMAN ON THE MOON. 413 00:17:58,645 --> 00:18:01,681 OK. THIS IS NEWS SCHOOL, AND I AM A PROFESSOR. 414 00:18:01,714 --> 00:18:04,050 SO WHAT I SAY GOES. 415 00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:06,353 PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME. 416 00:18:06,386 --> 00:18:09,322 LEAVE YOU? CHAZ. 417 00:18:09,356 --> 00:18:12,058 YOU'RE MY MENTOR, MAN. 418 00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:14,093 I'D NEVER LEAVE YOU. 419 00:18:14,127 --> 00:18:15,862 YOU'VE TAUGHT ME SO MUCH. 420 00:18:15,895 --> 00:18:19,399 I MEAN, YOU TAUGHT ME THAT NEWS COULD HAPPEN ANYWHERE 421 00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:21,834 TO A MAN STANDING IN HIS UNDERWEAR 422 00:18:21,868 --> 00:18:24,537 IN FRONT OF THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE. 423 00:18:28,408 --> 00:18:29,442 Man: NICE GLUTES! 424 00:18:29,476 --> 00:18:32,445 HI. YEAH, THIS IS SALLY STORM. 425 00:18:32,479 --> 00:18:33,913 SEND A CAMERA CREW. 426 00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:38,084 I'VE GOT A NEWS STORY DOWN HERE AT THE RUTHERDOME. 427 00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:41,588 A BIG ASS NEWS STORY. 428 00:18:44,857 --> 00:18:47,794 I'M STANDING OUTSIDE A GORDON LIGHTFOOT CONCERT 429 00:18:47,827 --> 00:18:50,330 HOLDING A PAIR OF TICKETS TO THE ICE CAPADES. 430 00:18:50,363 --> 00:18:52,199 THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT. 431 00:18:52,232 --> 00:18:54,033 YOU KNOW WHAT? THOSE WERE MY TICKETS. 432 00:18:54,066 --> 00:18:55,902 I MADE THE CALL. I KNEW THE SONG. 433 00:18:55,935 --> 00:18:58,004 IT'S ABOUT TIME I GOT REWARDED FOR MY WORK. 434 00:18:58,037 --> 00:18:59,739 THEY DON'T EVEN PAY ME DOWN AT THE STATION. 435 00:18:59,772 --> 00:19:00,873 WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT YOU? 436 00:19:00,907 --> 00:19:02,008 THIS IS ABOUT ME. 437 00:19:02,041 --> 00:19:03,443 WELL, IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT YOU. 438 00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:04,977 YOU, YOU, YOU. 439 00:19:05,011 --> 00:19:06,979 WELL, YOU WOULDN'T BE IN THIS MESS 440 00:19:07,013 --> 00:19:10,950 IF IT HADN'T BEEN FOR...YOU. 441 00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:13,520 THINK ABOUT IT. 442 00:19:13,553 --> 00:19:15,455 Ladies: LIGHTFOOT! LIGHTFOOT! LIGHTFOOT! 443 00:19:15,488 --> 00:19:18,658 COME ON, DICK. IT'S TIME TO GO IN. 444 00:19:18,691 --> 00:19:19,892 WHAT'S WRONG? 445 00:19:19,926 --> 00:19:22,262 WHAT'S WRONG? 446 00:19:22,295 --> 00:19:24,297 WHAT'S WRONG IS ME. 447 00:19:24,331 --> 00:19:26,165 I'VE FAILED YOU, MARY. 448 00:19:26,199 --> 00:19:27,734 I'VE IGNORED YOUR NEEDS. 449 00:19:27,767 --> 00:19:29,769 I'VE BELITTLED YOUR PASSIONS. 450 00:19:29,802 --> 00:19:32,839 I'VE NEGLECTED YOU AND THOUGHT ONLY OF MYSELF. 451 00:19:32,872 --> 00:19:34,674 BUT ALL OF THAT CHANGES. 452 00:19:34,707 --> 00:19:36,142 RIGHT NOW! 453 00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:37,143 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 454 00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:39,178 MARY, I WOULD LIKE NOTHING MORE 455 00:19:39,212 --> 00:19:41,781 THAN TO WALK INTO THIS CONCERT RIGHT NOW, 456 00:19:41,814 --> 00:19:43,750 SETTLE INTO MY CUSHY FRONT ROW SEAT, 457 00:19:43,783 --> 00:19:47,654 AND LET THE NOSTALGIC SOUNDS WAFT OVER ME. 458 00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:49,088 BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU WANT. 459 00:19:49,121 --> 00:19:50,089 YES, IT IS! 460 00:19:50,122 --> 00:19:54,361 NO. YOU THINK IT IS, BUT I KNOW YOU, MARY. 461 00:19:54,394 --> 00:20:00,166 WHAT YOU REALLY WANT IS TO RECAPTURE THE EXCITEMENT OF YEARS AGO 462 00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:04,203 WHEN A YOUNG AND REBELLIOUS MARY ALBRIGHT RISKED IT ALL 463 00:20:04,237 --> 00:20:08,074 BY SNEAKING INTO HER FIRST GORDON LIGHTFOOT CONCERT. 464 00:20:08,107 --> 00:20:09,976 OH, DICK. 465 00:20:10,009 --> 00:20:13,846 WE WERE YOUNG, AND THERE WAS A WAR ON. 466 00:20:14,781 --> 00:20:15,915 COME ON, WILD CHILD. 467 00:20:15,948 --> 00:20:17,116 YOU WANT US TO SNEAK IN? 468 00:20:17,149 --> 00:20:20,687 NO, YOU WANT US TO SNEAK IN. 469 00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:22,221 COME ON, MARY. 470 00:20:22,255 --> 00:20:25,191 CROUCH WITH ME IN THE DARKNESS AND FILTH. 471 00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:28,595 LET'S SEE GORDON LIGHTFOOT THE WAY HE WAS MEANT TO BE SEEN 472 00:20:28,628 --> 00:20:30,830 THROUGH THE GRIMY SLATS OF A HEATING VENT. 473 00:20:30,863 --> 00:20:32,465 WHAT DO YOU SAY? 474 00:20:33,700 --> 00:20:35,435 LET'S DO IT! 475 00:20:36,436 --> 00:20:38,204 YES! 476 00:20:41,308 --> 00:20:43,175 YOU KNOW, I REALLY LEARNED SOMETHING TONIGHT. 477 00:20:43,209 --> 00:20:43,976 HMM. HMM. 478 00:20:44,010 --> 00:20:44,977 TO PUT OTHERS FIRST? 479 00:20:45,011 --> 00:20:46,879 WELL, YEAH... 480 00:20:46,913 --> 00:20:49,549 AND THAT MARY CAN CLIMB A DRAINPIPE. 481 00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:52,885 NOW THAT I KNOW THAT, WE'LL BE GOING TO A LOT MORE CONCERTS. 482 00:20:52,919 --> 00:20:56,088 I STILL CANNOT BELIEVE THAT YOU AND ALBRIGHT SNUCK IN. 483 00:20:56,122 --> 00:20:58,190 AND I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT CHAZ MONTANA 484 00:20:58,224 --> 00:21:01,861 TURNED OUT TO BE AN OBSESSIVE, NAKED GORDON LIGHTFOOT FAN. 485 00:21:01,894 --> 00:21:04,497 YEAH, I KNOW, AND IT'S SUCH A SHAME. 486 00:21:04,531 --> 00:21:07,367 I MEAN, HE IS WITHOUT A DOUBT THE BEST NEWSMAN 487 00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:08,835 I'VE EVER WORKED WITH. 488 00:21:08,868 --> 00:21:10,102 OH, YEAH. 489 00:21:10,136 --> 00:21:12,539 I'M SORRY THAT GOPHER THING DIDN'T WORK OUT, HARRY. 490 00:21:12,572 --> 00:21:14,140 OH, NO, IT'S OK. 491 00:21:14,173 --> 00:21:16,843 ACTUALLY, THIS REPORTER HIRED ME TO DIG UP SOME DIRT. 492 00:21:16,876 --> 00:21:19,446 SO TOMORROW, I'M GONNA BE A MOLE. 493 00:21:19,479 --> 00:21:20,813 SEE, NOW THAT I CAN SEE. 494 00:21:20,847 --> 00:21:21,714 GOOD HONEST WORK. 495 00:21:21,748 --> 00:21:24,083 THAT'S BETTER. THAT'S MUCH BETTER. 36021

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