All language subtitles for 3rd.Rock.from.the.Sun.S06E10.WEBRip.x264-ION10

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal) Download
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian Download
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,876 --> 00:00:10,944 Dick: WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY FOR A WALK IN THE PARK. 2 00:00:10,978 --> 00:00:12,246 HEY, ALBRIGHT. 3 00:00:12,280 --> 00:00:14,282 WOULD YOU LIKE SOME ICE CREAM? 4 00:00:14,315 --> 00:00:16,284 WELL, YES, HARRY, I SUPPOSE I WOULD. 5 00:00:16,317 --> 00:00:17,318 WELL, YOU'LL HAVE TO BUY IT, THEN, 6 00:00:17,351 --> 00:00:19,553 'CAUSE MY MONEY'S NO GOOD HERE. 7 00:00:19,587 --> 00:00:21,055 YOUR MONEY'S NOT GOOD ANYWHERE. 8 00:00:21,089 --> 00:00:24,325 IT'S NOTHING BUT PHOTOCOPIES OF MONEY. 9 00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:26,560 COME ON, HARRY. 10 00:00:26,594 --> 00:00:27,795 [GASPS] HEY, DICK. 11 00:00:27,828 --> 00:00:29,763 LOOK, A PARTY! LET'S CHECK IT OUT. 12 00:00:29,797 --> 00:00:30,964 SALLY, WHY WOULD A GROWN MAN 13 00:00:30,998 --> 00:00:33,734 TAKE THE SLIGHTEST INTEREST IN A CHILD'S B-- 14 00:00:33,767 --> 00:00:37,971 [GASPS] THEY HAVE BALLOONS! 15 00:00:38,005 --> 00:00:39,673 SO, HARRY, WHAT DO YOU WANT? 16 00:00:39,707 --> 00:00:42,576 WELL, IT'S QUITE A DAZZLING SELECTION, 17 00:00:42,610 --> 00:00:46,547 BUT I THINK I'VE GOT A HANKERING FOR A BOMB POP. 18 00:00:46,580 --> 00:00:49,650 BUT I'VE GOT A RECEDING GUM LINE, 19 00:00:49,683 --> 00:00:53,020 AND THE BLUE PART TENDS TO STING. 20 00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:54,588 COOKIEWICHES ARE GOOD. 21 00:00:54,622 --> 00:00:56,924 YOU SEE, WITH THEM, YOU GET THE DOUBLE WHAMMY. 22 00:00:56,957 --> 00:01:01,362 YOU GET ICE CREAM AND A COOKIE. 23 00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:03,131 BUT IT'S TOO MUCH OF BOTH 24 00:01:03,164 --> 00:01:05,199 AND NOT ENOUGH OF EITHER. 25 00:01:05,233 --> 00:01:06,066 JUST GET THE PUSH-UP. 26 00:01:06,100 --> 00:01:10,037 OOH, THAT'S-- THAT'S A LOT OF WORK. 27 00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:12,473 OOH, I WANT THE ROSE! 28 00:01:12,506 --> 00:01:13,674 TOO LATE. I CALLED IT IN MY HEAD. 29 00:01:13,707 --> 00:01:16,377 NO! 30 00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:19,580 [APPLAUSE] 31 00:01:19,613 --> 00:01:23,083 FOR MY NEXT TRICK, I WILL NEED A HELPER. 32 00:01:23,117 --> 00:01:25,319 HOW ABOUT ONE OF THE DADDIES? 33 00:01:25,353 --> 00:01:27,087 YOU, SIR. 34 00:01:27,121 --> 00:01:28,722 ME? 35 00:01:28,756 --> 00:01:30,491 WILL YOU HELP ME OUT ONSTAGE? 36 00:01:30,524 --> 00:01:33,127 HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WE'RE NOT HERE TO MINGLE! 37 00:01:33,161 --> 00:01:35,263 I'M THE HELPER DADDY. 38 00:01:35,296 --> 00:01:36,797 STEP RIGHT UP, SIR. 39 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:43,771 NOW, WHICH ONE SHOULD I EAT FIRST? 40 00:01:43,804 --> 00:01:45,539 YEAH, HOLD THIS. I HAVE TO PAY. 41 00:01:45,573 --> 00:01:47,575 OH. THAT LOOKS GOOD. 42 00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:50,811 HEY, HEY! HELP, HELP! 43 00:01:50,844 --> 00:01:55,015 OHHHHH! 44 00:01:55,048 --> 00:01:56,184 AND WHAT IS YOUR NAME, SIR? 45 00:01:56,217 --> 00:01:57,285 DICK SOLOMON. 46 00:01:57,318 --> 00:01:58,519 AND DO YOU WASH BEHIND YOUR EARS? 47 00:01:58,552 --> 00:01:59,687 YEAH. 48 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:01,755 WELL, THEN, HOW WOULD YOU EXPLAIN THIS? 49 00:02:01,789 --> 00:02:05,459 [GASPS] 50 00:02:05,493 --> 00:02:07,395 CAN YOU READ THAT NOTE? 51 00:02:07,428 --> 00:02:09,297 "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, EMMA." 52 00:02:09,330 --> 00:02:10,664 A BIG HAND FOR DICK. 53 00:02:10,698 --> 00:02:12,733 OH, WOW. 54 00:02:12,766 --> 00:02:14,202 HA HA HA HA! 55 00:02:14,235 --> 00:02:15,803 OH, MAN, YOU WERE AWESOME! 56 00:02:15,836 --> 00:02:17,505 OH, THANK YOU! 57 00:02:17,538 --> 00:02:19,673 Albright: DICK! SOMEBODY STOLE MY PURSE! 58 00:02:19,707 --> 00:02:20,608 JUST NOW? YEAH! 59 00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:22,142 YOU MEAN YOU DIDN'T SEE ME UP THERE? 60 00:02:22,176 --> 00:02:23,777 THANKS A LOT! 61 00:03:01,849 --> 00:03:06,254 MARY, THIS IS A COMPOSITE SKETCH OF YOUR ASSAILANT 62 00:03:06,287 --> 00:03:08,522 BASED ON ALL THE EYEWITNESS ACCOUNTS. 63 00:03:08,556 --> 00:03:10,558 WHY IS HIS HEAD SO BIG? 64 00:03:10,591 --> 00:03:13,594 WHY IS HE HOLDING A TENNIS RACKET? 65 00:03:13,627 --> 00:03:16,230 WELL, THE DEPARTMENT CAN'T AFFORD A FULL-TIME SKETCH ARTIST, 66 00:03:16,264 --> 00:03:20,301 SO WE HAD THE CARICATURE GUY FROM THE BIRTHDAY PARTY DO IT. 67 00:03:20,334 --> 00:03:23,637 HE ALSO DID A GREAT ONE OF DON AS A COWBOY. 68 00:03:23,671 --> 00:03:25,706 HA HA HA. 69 00:03:25,739 --> 00:03:27,040 OH, I FEEL SO VULNERABLE 70 00:03:27,074 --> 00:03:28,776 KNOWING THAT HOODLUM IS OUT THERE SOMEWHERE. 71 00:03:28,809 --> 00:03:30,544 MY POOR, TRAUMATIZED MARY. 72 00:03:30,578 --> 00:03:34,114 WELL, WHAT ABOUT ME?! 73 00:03:34,147 --> 00:03:36,350 I MEAN, YOU ONLY HAD IT HAPPEN TO YOU. 74 00:03:36,384 --> 00:03:37,651 I HAD TO STAND THERE 75 00:03:37,685 --> 00:03:40,621 AND WATCH IT HAPPEN TO YOU. 76 00:03:40,654 --> 00:03:43,557 I GOTTA LIVE WITH THAT FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. 77 00:03:43,591 --> 00:03:46,026 [HIGH-PITCHED MOANING] 78 00:03:48,396 --> 00:03:51,599 WAY TO GO, ALBRIGHT. 79 00:03:51,632 --> 00:03:53,401 MARY, IF YOU'RE INTERESTED, 80 00:03:53,434 --> 00:03:56,169 I TEACH A SELF-DEFENSE COURSE DOWN AT THE Y. 81 00:03:56,203 --> 00:03:57,738 THANKS, DON. 82 00:03:57,771 --> 00:04:00,073 I JUST MIGHT TAKE YOU UP ON THAT. 83 00:04:00,107 --> 00:04:01,909 SHOULD I FILL OUT A REPORT? 84 00:04:01,942 --> 00:04:03,243 AH, WHAT'S THE POINT? 85 00:04:03,277 --> 00:04:05,679 I MEAN, OH, SURE, YEAH. 86 00:04:09,182 --> 00:04:10,784 THANK YOU, DON. 87 00:04:10,818 --> 00:04:14,755 TAKE GOOD CARE OF HER, WILL YOU? 88 00:04:14,788 --> 00:04:17,190 SALLY, TODAY WAS JUST AMAZING! 89 00:04:17,224 --> 00:04:18,292 I KNOW! 90 00:04:18,326 --> 00:04:19,627 WHEN I WENT UP ONTO THAT STAGE 91 00:04:19,660 --> 00:04:20,928 IN FRONT OF THAT SEA OF FACES, 92 00:04:20,961 --> 00:04:22,563 IT WAS JUST EXHILARATING. 93 00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:23,597 THEY WERE ALL STRANGERS, 94 00:04:23,631 --> 00:04:27,000 AND YET I FELT THIS WAVE OF LOVE WASHING OVER ME. 95 00:04:27,034 --> 00:04:31,004 YEAH, YOU KINDA LOOKED LIKE YOU WERE SWEATING. 96 00:04:31,038 --> 00:04:32,906 I WANT TO FEEL THAT FEELING AGAIN. 97 00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:34,041 AND I WILL. 98 00:04:34,074 --> 00:04:35,008 WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? 99 00:04:35,042 --> 00:04:37,745 GO AROUND TOWN VOLUNTEERING TO HELP MAGICIANS? 100 00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:40,113 NO. I WILL MAKE MY OWN MAGIC. 101 00:04:40,147 --> 00:04:41,682 YOU DON'T KNOW HOW. 102 00:04:41,715 --> 00:04:42,616 OH, PLEASE 103 00:04:42,650 --> 00:04:45,285 WHAT THAT MAN DID WAS NOTHING MORE THAN 104 00:04:45,319 --> 00:04:46,854 HUH? 105 00:04:46,887 --> 00:04:47,888 SLIGHT OF HAND. 106 00:04:47,921 --> 00:04:49,823 TRICKERY WITH RIGGED PROPS. 107 00:04:49,857 --> 00:04:53,093 HE PULLED AN EGG OUT OF YOUR EAR. 108 00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:56,364 SALLY, EVERY ILLUSION HAS A RATIONAL EXPLANATION 109 00:04:56,397 --> 00:04:58,632 WHEN A MAGICIAN PULLS A DOVE OUT OF A HAT 110 00:04:58,666 --> 00:05:00,434 THE HAT HAS A SECRET POCKET 111 00:05:00,468 --> 00:05:01,535 THE FLOATING BALL? 112 00:05:01,569 --> 00:05:04,037 ATTACHED TO TWO INVISIBLE STRINGS, 113 00:05:04,071 --> 00:05:05,673 THE CHINESE MYSTERY BOX? 114 00:05:05,706 --> 00:05:07,608 MYSTERY BOX. 115 00:05:09,377 --> 00:05:12,145 MADE IN CHINA. 116 00:05:12,179 --> 00:05:14,615 MY GOD, HOW DO YOU KNOW ALL THIS? 117 00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:16,584 I'M A PHYSICIST. 118 00:05:16,617 --> 00:05:18,419 I OBSERVE THE MYSTERIOUS PHENOMENA 119 00:05:18,452 --> 00:05:20,187 OF THE UNIVERSE, AND I EXPLAIN THEM. 120 00:05:20,220 --> 00:05:22,423 PLUS, WHEN WE WERE WAITING FOR THE COPS TO COME, 121 00:05:22,456 --> 00:05:24,992 I WENT THROUGH THE BACK OF THAT GUY'S STATION WAGON. 122 00:05:25,859 --> 00:05:26,660 GOOD ONE. 123 00:05:26,694 --> 00:05:28,896 BUT YOU KNOW, DICK... 124 00:05:28,929 --> 00:05:33,701 EVERY GREAT MAGICIAN NEEDS A GLAMOROUS ASSISTANT. 125 00:05:33,734 --> 00:05:34,768 WELL, YOU KNOW, I'VE ALWAYS THOUGHT 126 00:05:34,802 --> 00:05:36,269 YOU HAD A NATURAL PRESENCE. 127 00:05:36,303 --> 00:05:38,038 REALLY? OH, MY GOD. 128 00:05:38,071 --> 00:05:40,508 IT'S SO FUNNY YOU SAY THAT, 'CAUSE IF I HADN'T 129 00:05:40,541 --> 00:05:42,476 GOTTEN MY DEGREE IN INTERSTELLAR EXPLORATION, 130 00:05:42,510 --> 00:05:45,646 I DEFINITELY WOULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING IN THE ARTS. 131 00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:48,215 WELL, WOULD YOU LIKE TO JOIN ME IN THE MYSTICAL ARTS? 132 00:05:49,383 --> 00:05:51,919 MR. SIEGFRIED. 133 00:05:51,952 --> 00:05:53,654 ROY. 134 00:05:57,725 --> 00:05:59,760 Albright: I'M REALLY EXCITED ABOUT THIS CLASS. 135 00:05:59,793 --> 00:06:02,095 I THINK LEARNING SELF-DEFENSE WILL COME IN HANDY. 136 00:06:02,129 --> 00:06:03,263 INDEED, MARY. 137 00:06:03,296 --> 00:06:05,232 I AM SO TIRED OF GOING TO THE BARS 138 00:06:05,265 --> 00:06:08,301 AND BEING GROPED BY EVERY STRAIGHT MAN IN RUTHERFORD. 139 00:06:11,972 --> 00:06:13,874 WAS SHE KDDING? 140 00:06:13,907 --> 00:06:15,809 I CAN NEVER TELL. 141 00:06:15,843 --> 00:06:19,413 ALL RIGHT. FOR ALL THE NEW PEOPLE-- 142 00:06:19,447 --> 00:06:21,549 THANK YOU-- 143 00:06:21,582 --> 00:06:23,651 I'M OFFICER DON ORVILLE. 144 00:06:23,684 --> 00:06:25,152 OVER THE PAST 20 YEARS, 145 00:06:25,185 --> 00:06:26,319 I'VE STUDIED SELF-DEFENSE 146 00:06:26,353 --> 00:06:28,822 AT SOME OF THE TOP GOVERNMENT AGENCIES, 147 00:06:28,856 --> 00:06:32,893 DEVELOPING SIMPLE YET EFFECTIVE COMBAT TECHNIQUES. 148 00:06:32,926 --> 00:06:34,127 EXCUSE ME. 149 00:06:34,161 --> 00:06:36,697 DOES THE SMALL PRINT ON YOUR SHIRT SAY 150 00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:39,266 "FEDERAL BIKINI INSPECTOR"? 151 00:06:41,669 --> 00:06:42,836 YES. 152 00:06:42,870 --> 00:06:43,904 BUT FOR THE RECORD, 153 00:06:43,937 --> 00:06:44,705 THIS SHIRT WAS GIVEN TO ME 154 00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:47,741 AFTER SPRING BREAK '81, 155 00:06:47,775 --> 00:06:49,176 AND I DID EARN IT. 156 00:06:49,209 --> 00:06:50,478 [DOOR OPENS] 157 00:06:50,511 --> 00:06:52,079 Don: HARRY. 158 00:06:52,112 --> 00:06:52,980 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 159 00:06:53,013 --> 00:06:54,314 OH, NOTHING. YOU KNOW, 160 00:06:54,347 --> 00:06:56,283 JUST THINKING ABOUT MAYBE TAKING THIS CLASS. 161 00:06:56,316 --> 00:06:58,719 OH, UH, UH, THIS CLASS IS FOR WOMEN ONLY. 162 00:06:58,752 --> 00:06:59,787 COME ON, DON. 163 00:06:59,820 --> 00:07:01,555 I JUST DON'T WANT TO BE AFRAID ANYMORE. 164 00:07:01,589 --> 00:07:04,525 I WANT THE NIGHTMARES TO GO AWAY. 165 00:07:04,558 --> 00:07:07,094 WELL, I--I SUPPOSE YOU COULD OBSERVE. 166 00:07:07,127 --> 00:07:09,597 I NEED SOMEBODY TO WEAR THE PADDED SUIT. 167 00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:11,865 WHAT? I CAN'T WEAR THAT! 168 00:07:11,899 --> 00:07:13,066 YOU'LL BE PERFECTLY SAFE. 169 00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:14,101 OH, NO, NO. IT'S NOT THAT. 170 00:07:14,134 --> 00:07:15,936 IT'S JUST IT'LL MAKE ME LOOK REALLY HEAVY. 171 00:07:21,875 --> 00:07:23,611 NEXT UP, A COUPLE OF FIRST-TIMERS 172 00:07:23,644 --> 00:07:25,879 AT OPEN MIC NIGHT. 173 00:07:25,913 --> 00:07:27,781 DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC? 174 00:07:27,815 --> 00:07:30,984 LET'S ASK "THE AMAZING SOLOMONELLAS." 175 00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:36,957 I AM DICK, AND THIS IS MY LOVELY ASSISTANT... 176 00:07:36,990 --> 00:07:38,792 SALLY. I'M SALLY. HEY, HOW YOU DOING? 177 00:07:38,826 --> 00:07:39,893 SALLY. 178 00:07:39,927 --> 00:07:41,829 EVEN THOUGH MY TUX IS RENTED, 179 00:07:41,862 --> 00:07:44,264 WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO WITNESS IS VERY REAL. 180 00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:48,435 SALLY! 181 00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:50,838 I WILL-- I WILL NOW CUT SALLY 182 00:07:50,871 --> 00:07:53,440 INTO 2 SEPARATE BUT EQUAL SLICES. 183 00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:55,676 UH, CAN WE GET SOMEBODY FROM THE AUDIENCE 184 00:07:55,709 --> 00:07:58,846 TO COME UP AND INSPECT THIS BOX? 185 00:07:58,879 --> 00:08:00,080 UH, YEAH, YOU. 186 00:08:00,113 --> 00:08:04,084 NO, STAY. HOW'S IT LOOK FROM THERE? GOOD? GOOD. 187 00:08:04,117 --> 00:08:05,485 UH, NOW-- [CLEARS THROAT] 188 00:08:05,519 --> 00:08:07,788 NOW THAT THE BOX HAS UNDERGONE 189 00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:09,156 THE STRICTEST SCRUTINY, 190 00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:13,326 SALLY WILL RECLINE DANGEROUSLY IN THE BOX. 191 00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:15,062 SALLY? 192 00:08:23,704 --> 00:08:25,138 Dick: THIS TRICK... 193 00:08:25,172 --> 00:08:28,275 IS SURE TO AMAZE AND APPALL YOU. 194 00:08:28,308 --> 00:08:30,110 UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES 195 00:08:30,143 --> 00:08:32,079 SHOULD YOU TRY THIS AT HOME. 196 00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:38,018 SALLY IS NOW SECURELY IN THE BOX. 197 00:08:38,051 --> 00:08:40,721 CAN YOU HEAR ME, SALLY?! 198 00:08:40,754 --> 00:08:42,890 YES. 199 00:08:42,923 --> 00:08:46,126 THEN WE ARE READY... 200 00:08:46,159 --> 00:08:47,460 TO PROCEED. 201 00:08:47,494 --> 00:08:51,131 THESE...ARE 2 RAZOR-SHARP, 202 00:08:51,164 --> 00:08:52,566 TEMPERED-STEEL BLADES. 203 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:56,737 [CLANG] OHH! 204 00:08:56,770 --> 00:08:58,739 ARE YOU READY, SALLY? 205 00:08:58,772 --> 00:08:59,740 UH-HUH. 206 00:08:59,773 --> 00:09:02,075 DO YOU HAVE ANY LAST WORDS? 207 00:09:02,109 --> 00:09:03,276 UH-UH. 208 00:09:03,310 --> 00:09:05,445 THEN HERE WE GO. 209 00:09:05,478 --> 00:09:06,079 [GROANS] 210 00:09:06,113 --> 00:09:08,682 [MEEKLY] TA-DA. 211 00:09:08,716 --> 00:09:11,685 [SCATTERED APPLAUSE] 212 00:09:16,724 --> 00:09:18,358 TA-DA! 213 00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:20,994 [APPLAUSE AND CHEERS] 214 00:09:28,368 --> 00:09:29,236 YEAH! 215 00:09:29,269 --> 00:09:30,971 TA-DA! 216 00:09:36,009 --> 00:09:38,045 OK. WE MISDIRECT AND KNEE. 217 00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:39,613 MISDIRECT AND KNEE. 218 00:09:39,647 --> 00:09:41,114 MISDIRECT AND KNEE. 219 00:09:44,151 --> 00:09:47,487 OH, GOOD, GOOD, GOOD, HARRY. HARRY. 220 00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:50,323 WHY DON'T YOU START BY APPROACHING JUDITH? 221 00:09:50,357 --> 00:09:51,725 OK. 222 00:09:54,795 --> 00:09:56,496 HEY, JUDITH, IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN. 223 00:09:56,529 --> 00:09:58,165 NO! 224 00:09:58,198 --> 00:09:58,832 HEY, CALM DOWN! 225 00:09:58,866 --> 00:10:00,467 NO, NO, NO! 226 00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:02,903 DON! JUDITH IS TOTALLY FREAKIN' OUT. 227 00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:04,437 OH, NO, NO, NO. 228 00:10:04,471 --> 00:10:06,039 IT'S OK, HARRY. YOU'VE GOT THE SUIT. 229 00:10:06,073 --> 00:10:07,474 YOU CAN'T BE HURT. 230 00:10:07,507 --> 00:10:08,776 NOW JUST TRY AND HELP THESE WOMEN 231 00:10:08,809 --> 00:10:10,277 BRING OUT THEIR AGGRESSIVE SIDE. 232 00:10:10,310 --> 00:10:12,145 OH, YOU MEAN PISS 'EM OFF? 233 00:10:12,179 --> 00:10:13,981 OH, I CAN DO THAT. 234 00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:17,818 HIYA! 235 00:10:17,851 --> 00:10:19,887 HIT ME! 236 00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:22,022 WITH PLEASURE. UNH! 237 00:10:22,055 --> 00:10:23,757 OOH, IS THAT ALL YOU GOT? 238 00:10:23,791 --> 00:10:25,492 UNH! UNH! UNH! UNH! UNH! 239 00:10:25,525 --> 00:10:28,996 OH, BABY. SO NICE. 240 00:10:32,766 --> 00:10:34,634 HOW ABOUT YOU, SWEET MAMA? 241 00:10:34,668 --> 00:10:36,136 NO, I CAN'T. I-- 242 00:10:36,169 --> 00:10:39,439 COME ON, STUMPY. SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT. 243 00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:40,373 I--I--I-- 244 00:10:40,407 --> 00:10:41,174 COME ON! 245 00:10:41,208 --> 00:10:43,243 ALL RIGHT, HARRY, HARRY, HARRY. 246 00:10:43,276 --> 00:10:44,344 THAT'S ENOUGH FOR TODAY. 247 00:10:44,377 --> 00:10:45,913 YEAH? WELL, I DON'T THINK IT IS. 248 00:10:45,946 --> 00:10:48,716 HEY, WATCH IT! 249 00:10:48,749 --> 00:10:49,616 NOW WATCH IT. 250 00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:51,051 THE LAST PERSON YOU WANT TO TANGLE WITH 251 00:10:51,084 --> 00:10:52,352 IS A SELF-DEFENSE INSTRUCTOR. 252 00:10:52,385 --> 00:10:53,821 YEAH? WELL, COME ON, SWEET CAKES. 253 00:10:53,854 --> 00:10:55,689 WHY DON'T YOU INSPECT MY BIKINI? 254 00:10:55,723 --> 00:10:58,091 THAT'S IT! THAT'S IT! 255 00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:05,365 HELP ME! 256 00:11:10,403 --> 00:11:12,072 OH, MY GOD, SALLY. 257 00:11:12,105 --> 00:11:13,974 THAT WAS A LOVE-FEST OUT THERE. 258 00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:15,342 THEY WORSHIPPED US. 259 00:11:15,375 --> 00:11:16,576 OH, HO HO. 260 00:11:16,609 --> 00:11:19,813 HI. I'M CY SPURNDLE, THE OWNER OF THIS CLUB. 261 00:11:19,847 --> 00:11:21,882 THAT MAGIC YOU DID? MAGIC. 262 00:11:21,915 --> 00:11:23,583 OH. THANKS. 263 00:11:23,616 --> 00:11:24,885 I'M GONNA CALL YOU LATER. 264 00:11:24,918 --> 00:11:26,519 I DON'T WANT TO MAKE ANY PROMISES, 265 00:11:26,553 --> 00:11:27,788 BUT THE WAY YOU SCORED IN THE CABARET, 266 00:11:27,821 --> 00:11:29,689 YOU MAY BE READY FOR THE BIG ROOM. 267 00:11:29,723 --> 00:11:30,791 WOW. 268 00:11:30,824 --> 00:11:32,993 AMAZING. WHERE'S THE BIG ROOM? 269 00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:34,427 IT'S THE CABARET. 270 00:11:34,461 --> 00:11:36,563 WE JUST ADD 2 MORE TABLES. 271 00:11:36,596 --> 00:11:37,497 SEE, WELL... 272 00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:38,598 THANK YOU, MR. SPURNDLE. 273 00:11:38,631 --> 00:11:40,901 THANK YOU, MR. SPURNDLE. BYE. 274 00:11:40,934 --> 00:11:43,036 SALLY? 275 00:11:43,070 --> 00:11:46,273 OH, DICK. OH, HO HO! 276 00:12:38,425 --> 00:12:39,559 APPLAUSE, APPLAUSE, APPLAUSE, APPLAUSE. 277 00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:42,529 APPLAUSE, APPLAUSE, APPLAUSE. 278 00:12:42,562 --> 00:12:43,496 THANK YOU, 279 00:12:43,530 --> 00:12:45,232 BUT THE BEST MAGIC IN THE WORLD 280 00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:49,436 IS THE MAGIC SHARED BY TWO. 281 00:12:49,469 --> 00:12:51,704 AND I COULDN'T DO THE MAGIC I DO 282 00:12:51,738 --> 00:12:54,707 WITHOUT YOU AND YOU. 283 00:12:54,741 --> 00:12:57,644 Both: AND NOW, ADIEU. 284 00:12:57,677 --> 00:12:58,545 APPLAUSE, APPLAUSE, APPLAUSE, APPLAUSE. 285 00:12:58,578 --> 00:12:59,913 ALL RIGHT. WAS IT BETTER THAT TIME? 286 00:12:59,947 --> 00:13:02,649 DID IT EQUAL THE STAGECRAFT OF HOUDINI? 287 00:13:02,682 --> 00:13:05,018 IT'S AS CLOSE AS WE'LL GET TODAY. 288 00:13:05,052 --> 00:13:06,887 OH. YOU WANT TO DO IT AGAIN, OR WHAT? 289 00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:09,422 NO, NO. 290 00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:14,527 FINE. I'M GONNA GO FEED THE DOVE. 291 00:13:14,561 --> 00:13:16,897 CY, A MOMENT. 292 00:13:16,930 --> 00:13:17,764 Sally: HEY, I THINK WE SHOULD 293 00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:22,069 PUT A FROG IN THE ACT! 294 00:13:22,102 --> 00:13:24,171 WE ALREADY HAVE A FROG IN THE ACT. 295 00:13:24,204 --> 00:13:28,541 SHE'S 6 FOOT TALL. 296 00:13:28,575 --> 00:13:30,643 CY, WE HAVE TO TALK. 297 00:13:30,677 --> 00:13:32,645 LOOK, THIS HAS BEEN WONDERFUL. 298 00:13:32,679 --> 00:13:34,814 I MUST TELL YOU, I LOVE WHAT I DO. 299 00:13:34,848 --> 00:13:35,782 SO DOES RUTHERFORD. 300 00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:36,616 IF THIS KEEPS UP, 301 00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:39,786 I'LL BE ABLE TO BUY REAL SMOKE ALARMS. 302 00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:41,821 BUT, CY, LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING. 303 00:13:41,855 --> 00:13:46,359 DOES A REAL MAGICIAN NEED AN ASSISTANT? 304 00:13:46,393 --> 00:13:47,861 HONESTLY, NO, 305 00:13:47,895 --> 00:13:50,363 ESPECIALLY A MAGICIAN AS GOOD AS YOU, 306 00:13:50,397 --> 00:13:52,765 BUT EVERYBODY LIKES A LITTLE EYE CANDY. 307 00:13:52,799 --> 00:13:54,101 I SUPPOSE YOU'RE RIGHT. 308 00:13:54,134 --> 00:13:56,303 IT'S JUST SO HARD. 309 00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:58,872 I KNOW, I KNOW. SHE'S A PIECE OF WORK. 310 00:13:58,906 --> 00:14:01,841 JUST REMEMBER EVERYONE WANTS TO SEE YOU. YOU'RE THE STAR. 311 00:14:01,875 --> 00:14:03,776 OH, THANK YOU SO MUCH, CY. 312 00:14:03,810 --> 00:14:06,179 I KNEW YOU'D UNDERSTAND. 313 00:14:08,615 --> 00:14:09,983 I'LL GO GET THE CAR, DARLING. 314 00:14:10,017 --> 00:14:12,920 TERRIFIC, SWEETIE. 315 00:14:12,953 --> 00:14:14,521 HEY, CY, YOU GOT A SECOND? 316 00:14:14,554 --> 00:14:16,056 FOR YOU? ANYTIME. 317 00:14:16,089 --> 00:14:18,725 UH, WAS DICK JUST TALKIN' ABOUT ME? 318 00:14:18,758 --> 00:14:20,060 NO. 319 00:14:20,093 --> 00:14:22,996 WELL, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU NOTICE, BUT, UH... 320 00:14:23,030 --> 00:14:25,265 HE EXHAUSTS ME, 321 00:14:25,298 --> 00:14:28,468 AND I REALLY FEEL LIKE IT'S HURTING THE ACT. 322 00:14:28,501 --> 00:14:31,004 THE ACT IS FINE. YOU KNOW WHY? 323 00:14:31,038 --> 00:14:33,273 BECAUSE OF YOU. 324 00:14:33,306 --> 00:14:36,143 SO, SO YOU AGREE HE'S DEADWOOD, RIGHT? 325 00:14:36,176 --> 00:14:37,477 OH, TOTALLY. YEAH. 326 00:14:37,510 --> 00:14:39,947 THIS SHOW ONLY HAS ONE STAR AND THAT'S YOU. 327 00:14:39,980 --> 00:14:41,915 OH, THANK YOU, SWEETIE. THANK YOU. 328 00:14:41,949 --> 00:14:42,849 Dick: SALLY! 329 00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:44,251 WHAT?! 330 00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:51,992 I'M GONNA SQUASH YOU LIKE A BUG, HARRY SOLOMON. 331 00:14:52,025 --> 00:14:56,896 DIE, DIE, DIE! AAH! AAH! AAH! 332 00:14:56,930 --> 00:14:58,831 IF I'M NOT MISTAKEN, 333 00:14:58,865 --> 00:15:01,969 I THINK I JUST RELEASED MY INNER ANIMAL. 334 00:15:02,002 --> 00:15:02,702 THANK YOU, HARRY. 335 00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:04,171 OH, WELL, IT'S MY PLEASURE. 336 00:15:04,204 --> 00:15:06,706 OH! OH! 337 00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:08,976 Don: MARY, WHERE YOU GOIN'? 338 00:15:09,009 --> 00:15:09,943 I'M SORRY, DON. 339 00:15:09,977 --> 00:15:12,445 I'M JUST NOT CUT OUT FOR THIS CLASS. 340 00:15:12,479 --> 00:15:14,581 MY MOTHER TOLD ME THAT GIRLS DON'T HIT, 341 00:15:14,614 --> 00:15:16,950 AND I GUESS I NEVER GOT BEYOND THAT. 342 00:15:16,984 --> 00:15:19,552 ALL RIGHT, BUT NO REFUNDS. 343 00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:21,321 HEY, ALBRIGHT. 344 00:15:21,354 --> 00:15:25,825 ISN'T THAT THE SAME MOTHER THAT SAID YOU'D ALWAYS BE FAT? 345 00:15:25,858 --> 00:15:26,826 YES. 346 00:15:26,859 --> 00:15:28,561 YEAH, AND DIDN'T SHE ALSO SAY 347 00:15:28,595 --> 00:15:31,965 THAT YOU'D ALWAYS BE A FAILURE? 348 00:15:31,999 --> 00:15:32,765 YES. 349 00:15:32,799 --> 00:15:34,934 UH-HUH, AND DIDN'T SHE ALSO TELL YOU 350 00:15:34,968 --> 00:15:36,236 THAT YOU'D NEVER GET MARRIED 351 00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:39,973 UNLESS IT WAS TO A BIG FAT FAILURE LIKE YOURSELF? 352 00:15:42,175 --> 00:15:44,111 YOU OLD BAG! 353 00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:55,488 HOW'S THE HOUSE TONIGHT? 354 00:15:55,522 --> 00:15:58,125 MAYBE YOU SHOULD LOOK THROUGH THE CURTAIN. 355 00:15:58,158 --> 00:16:01,428 GARLIC FOR LUNCH? HOW CONSIDERATE. 356 00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:03,430 WELL, I SUPPOSE YOU SKIPPED LUNCH 357 00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:06,766 SO YOU COULD CHEW THE SCENERY. 358 00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:08,135 OH, SHOW BIZ LINGO. 359 00:16:08,168 --> 00:16:10,570 DID YOU FIND THAT IN YOUR HOW-TO-PERFORM- ON-STAGE BOOK? 360 00:16:10,603 --> 00:16:12,805 BECAUSE MAYBE YOU SHOULD START WITH THE CHAPTER ENTITLED, 361 00:16:12,839 --> 00:16:15,975 "HOW TO PERFORM ON STAGE." 362 00:16:16,009 --> 00:16:17,044 THAT'S SWEET. 363 00:16:17,077 --> 00:16:19,312 MAYBE YOU SHOULD START WITH THE CHAPTER ENTITLED, 364 00:16:19,346 --> 00:16:20,747 "DON'T DO CARD TRICKS 365 00:16:20,780 --> 00:16:25,918 IF THEY'RE GONNA REFLECT OFF YOUR BIG, SWEATY FOREHEAD." 366 00:16:25,952 --> 00:16:27,320 Cy: AND NOW, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, 367 00:16:27,354 --> 00:16:30,423 GIVE IT UP FOR DICK AND SALLY, THE SOLOMONELLAS. 368 00:17:35,021 --> 00:17:36,289 WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ALL ABOUT? 369 00:17:36,323 --> 00:17:38,158 YOU ALMOST KILLED ME. 370 00:17:38,191 --> 00:17:40,627 WELL, YOU CUT OFF MY BEST LINE. 371 00:17:40,660 --> 00:17:42,295 I WAS COMPLETELY UPSTAGED. 372 00:17:42,329 --> 00:17:44,531 OH, YOU JUMPED EVERY CUE. 373 00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:46,366 AND YOU'RE HOGGING THE SPOTLIGHT AGAIN. 374 00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:47,434 OH, DEAL WITH IT. 375 00:17:47,467 --> 00:17:50,002 IT'S SABOTAGE! 376 00:17:50,036 --> 00:17:51,003 YOU'RE RUINING THE ACT. 377 00:17:51,037 --> 00:17:53,606 I NEED ARTISTIC FREEDOM. 378 00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:55,575 I AM SUFFOCATING. 379 00:17:55,608 --> 00:17:58,811 YOU'RE NOTHING MORE THAN DECORATIVE TINSEL. 380 00:17:59,879 --> 00:18:01,348 OH, REALLY? 381 00:18:01,381 --> 00:18:03,316 YOU KNOW, I GET MORE APPLAUSE 382 00:18:03,350 --> 00:18:05,652 SHAKING RABBIT PELLETS OUT OF THAT HAT 383 00:18:05,685 --> 00:18:07,820 THAN YOU GET FOR YOUR WHOLE ACT. 384 00:18:07,854 --> 00:18:09,289 I AM THE SHOW! 385 00:18:09,322 --> 00:18:11,023 OH, WAKE UP. I AM THE SHOW! 386 00:18:11,057 --> 00:18:12,425 NO. YOU'RE JUST AN AMATEUR. 387 00:18:12,459 --> 00:18:13,226 HAM! DIVA! 388 00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:14,427 HACK! I HATE YOU! 389 00:18:14,461 --> 00:18:16,329 I HATE YOU MORE! 390 00:18:21,201 --> 00:18:22,669 OH, MY GOD. 391 00:18:22,702 --> 00:18:24,237 WHAT'S HAPPENING TO US? 392 00:18:24,271 --> 00:18:27,674 I DON'T KNOW, BUT I DON'T WANT TO FEEL THIS WAY. 393 00:18:27,707 --> 00:18:30,210 NEITHER DO I. 394 00:18:30,243 --> 00:18:32,579 SALLY. 395 00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:36,516 DICK. OH! 396 00:18:36,549 --> 00:18:39,252 GUYS, YOU READY FOR THE NEXT SHOW? 397 00:18:39,286 --> 00:18:41,521 NO. WE'RE NOT GOING ON. 398 00:18:41,554 --> 00:18:42,955 BUT I GOT A CROWD OUT THERE. 399 00:18:42,989 --> 00:18:45,958 FORGET IT. WE QUIT. 400 00:18:45,992 --> 00:18:47,627 YOU'RE EVIL. 401 00:18:47,660 --> 00:18:48,795 WHAT ABOUT THE SHOW? 402 00:18:48,828 --> 00:18:49,962 DO IT YOURSELF. 403 00:18:49,996 --> 00:18:51,464 KEEP THE PROPS. 404 00:18:51,498 --> 00:18:52,365 WE'RE OUT OF HERE. 405 00:18:52,399 --> 00:18:53,666 COME ON, SALLY. 406 00:18:53,700 --> 00:18:55,368 WE'RE WALKING OUT THIS DOOR, 407 00:18:55,402 --> 00:18:57,237 EATING OUR FREE MEAL AT THE BAR, 408 00:18:57,270 --> 00:19:01,574 AND TURNING OUR BACKS ON THIS HELL HOLE OF YOURS FOREVER! 409 00:19:11,851 --> 00:19:13,353 HARRY, WE'VE BEEN OUT HERE FOR 2 HOURS. 410 00:19:13,386 --> 00:19:14,621 WHAT ARE WE DOING? 411 00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:15,788 I TOLD YOU, ALBRIGHT. 412 00:19:15,822 --> 00:19:17,657 WE'RE TAKING BACK THE PARK. 413 00:19:17,690 --> 00:19:19,158 FROM WHOM? 414 00:19:19,192 --> 00:19:20,760 FROM HIM. 415 00:19:20,793 --> 00:19:23,062 THAT'S THE GUY WHO STOLE ALBRIGHT'S PURSE. 416 00:19:23,095 --> 00:19:24,130 REALLY? 417 00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:25,064 I DON'T KNOW, MARY. 418 00:19:25,097 --> 00:19:26,733 HE'S NOT CARRYING A TENNIS RACKET, 419 00:19:26,766 --> 00:19:29,502 AND HIS HEAD'S A NORMAL SIZE. 420 00:19:29,536 --> 00:19:31,371 OH, THAT'S HIM ALL RIGHT. 421 00:19:31,404 --> 00:19:32,639 MAYBE YOU SHOULD ARREST HIM. 422 00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:34,541 BUT WHO'S THE PADDED MAN HERE? 423 00:19:34,574 --> 00:19:36,943 YOU ARE. ALL RIGHT. 424 00:19:41,113 --> 00:19:43,182 WELL, HELLO. 425 00:19:43,216 --> 00:19:48,187 ENJOYING YOUR LATTE BOUGHT WITH ILL-GOTTEN GAINS? 426 00:19:48,221 --> 00:19:49,155 HUH? 427 00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:51,123 LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHIN'. 428 00:19:51,157 --> 00:19:53,660 THIS PARK IS FOR NICE, LAW-ABIDING CITIZENS, 429 00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:55,828 NOT LOW-LIFE SCUM LIKE YOURSELF. 430 00:19:55,862 --> 00:19:57,630 YOU'RE GOIN' DOWN. 431 00:19:57,664 --> 00:19:59,198 WHO THE HELL ARE YOU? 432 00:19:59,232 --> 00:20:02,302 MY NAME IS HARRY, AND THESE ARE MY ANGELS. 433 00:20:02,335 --> 00:20:04,971 NOW GET HIM! GO GET HIM! 434 00:20:05,004 --> 00:20:09,442 [FIGHTING GRUNTS AND SCREAMS] 435 00:20:09,476 --> 00:20:11,811 UM, I'M PRETTY SURE THAT WAS HIM. 436 00:20:16,749 --> 00:20:18,418 I JUST DON'T GET IT, SALLY. 437 00:20:18,451 --> 00:20:19,452 HOW COULD PERFORMING 438 00:20:19,486 --> 00:20:23,390 FOR A ROOMFUL OF TOTAL STRANGERS DO THAT TO US? 439 00:20:23,423 --> 00:20:28,060 THE LIGHTS, THE APPLAUSE, THE ROAR OF THE CROWD. 440 00:20:28,094 --> 00:20:28,961 IT'S LIKE A DRUG. 441 00:20:28,995 --> 00:20:31,097 YEAH. A DRUG THAT WE COULDN'T KICK. 442 00:20:31,130 --> 00:20:34,801 IT TURNED US INTO SELF-ABSORBED, EGO-DRIVEN MONSTERS. 443 00:20:34,834 --> 00:20:36,269 YOU KNOW, I ACTUALLY THINK 444 00:20:36,303 --> 00:20:39,539 WE SHOULD JUST LEAVE THE PERFORMING TO THE PROFESSIONALS. 445 00:20:39,572 --> 00:20:44,243 YEAH. IT NEVER HAPPENS TO THEM. NOPE. 446 00:20:44,277 --> 00:20:45,912 WOULD YOU GUYS SHOW ME A MAGIC TRICK? 447 00:20:45,945 --> 00:20:47,747 WHY, SURE, HARRY, BUT FIRST... 448 00:20:47,780 --> 00:20:50,617 I THINK YOU'VE GOT A LITTLE SOMETHING IN YOUR EYE. 449 00:20:50,650 --> 00:20:54,253 WHOA. THAT'S WEIRD. 450 00:20:54,287 --> 00:20:56,389 NOW LET'S SEE SOME MAGIC. 451 00:20:58,491 --> 00:21:01,093 HEY, WHAT'S THAT OVER THERE? 452 00:21:01,127 --> 00:21:01,160 OH. EWW. 453 00:21:04,196 --> 00:21:07,600 I WONDER HOW LONG THAT'S BEEN THERE. 454 00:21:07,634 --> 00:21:08,935 NOW LET'S SEE SOME MAGIC. 455 00:21:08,968 --> 00:21:11,170 OH, BY THE WAY, HARRY. WHAT TIME HAVE YOU GOT? 456 00:21:11,203 --> 00:21:14,106 WELL, IT'S... 457 00:21:14,140 --> 00:21:17,176 OK, I'M GONNA GET A VASE FOR THESE, 458 00:21:17,209 --> 00:21:20,613 AND THEN I'D LIKE TO SEE SOME MAGIC. 30702

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.