Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:44,832 --> 00:00:47,748
Attention!!!
2
00:00:48,041 --> 00:00:52,124
The following film
contains subliminal effects!
3
00:00:52,416 --> 00:00:56,499
If you're pregnant or epileptic
leave after 30 minutes at the most.
4
00:00:56,791 --> 00:01:00,874
Thank you
for your understanding.
5
00:01:05,332 --> 00:01:09,415
Tanja Blixen and Astrid Lidgren
are spoken by Susanne Bredehöft.
6
00:01:09,749 --> 00:01:13,832
Peter Panne and Bela Lugosi
are spoken by Thomas Nicolai.
7
00:01:14,207 --> 00:01:18,290
Both speakers are
dressed by Hölter.
8
00:01:25,999 --> 00:01:30,499
This following film tells the
true story of little Peter Panne,
9
00:01:32,499 --> 00:01:36,999
son of a German UN general
and an American hooker.
10
00:01:38,707 --> 00:01:41,457
People simply called him JESU.
11
00:01:42,749 --> 00:01:47,249
While his father fails at the UN,
a horde of Africans tries to destroy
12
00:01:47,916 --> 00:01:52,416
the president of the USA
with a German V2 missile.
13
00:01:52,874 --> 00:01:57,374
JESU PETERS mother rams a
needle into the boy's head
14
00:01:57,874 --> 00:01:59,749
so JESU ends up in hospital.
15
00:02:00,582 --> 00:02:05,082
Despite his disability and
a 33-lb crack on his head
16
00:02:06,082 --> 00:02:09,873
MOHAMMED PETER
manages to save the world
17
00:02:10,332 --> 00:02:14,832
and destroy the American
president forever and ever.
18
00:02:41,791 --> 00:02:46,291
Africa! Infinite vastness, curly
hair and the smell of diesel oil.
19
00:02:47,457 --> 00:02:51,957
Peter Panne's story starts
about an hour before his birth.
20
00:02:53,041 --> 00:02:55,541
That's my dear daddy!,
Peter said.
21
00:02:55,999 --> 00:02:59,457
A German UN officer
on a humane mission.
22
00:02:59,832 --> 00:03:02,582
He helps the blacks
and saves their future.
23
00:03:02,874 --> 00:03:05,540
It's a sexual obsession
for my father, Peter said.
24
00:03:10,166 --> 00:03:13,332
Here we see a horde of
slobs gone wild.
25
00:03:13,624 --> 00:03:17,707
Fucking, drinking, dancing
all day long, Peter said.
26
00:03:18,124 --> 00:03:21,499
This self-appointed dictator
studied in Munich.
27
00:03:21,791 --> 00:03:23,124
Hassan El Hatschi!
28
00:03:23,416 --> 00:03:25,957
His plan is the destruction of
the American president
29
00:03:26,416 --> 00:03:30,624
with a German missile.
He will have to understand:
30
00:03:31,082 --> 00:03:35,248
A bird in the hand is worth
the UN in the bush, Peter said.
31
00:03:54,999 --> 00:03:58,582
My dear mummy has
a long criminal record.
32
00:03:59,082 --> 00:04:01,832
Twenty years in jail
for exhibitionism.
33
00:04:02,124 --> 00:04:06,207
Daddy never slept with her
and yet she's pregnant.
34
00:04:33,624 --> 00:04:37,082
When Peter heard "rocket",
he escaped the uterus.
35
00:04:37,416 --> 00:04:40,916
He was the only rocket in town!
36
00:04:41,207 --> 00:04:45,290
Peter Panne, son of
Mohammed, God of gods!
37
00:04:46,207 --> 00:04:49,498
The saviour of the
world!, Peter said.
38
00:05:10,499 --> 00:05:12,790
Everything fine.
Will work!
39
00:05:13,082 --> 00:05:15,832
Dr. Vanderberg was
a pathetic coward.
40
00:05:16,124 --> 00:05:20,457
After the Challenger disaster
he had escaped to Africa.
41
00:05:20,832 --> 00:05:23,748
And started his experiments
with human engines.
42
00:05:24,082 --> 00:05:26,248
A thorn in the flesh of
Werner von Braun.
43
00:05:26,541 --> 00:05:29,291
A moron in a lab coat!
44
00:05:38,082 --> 00:05:40,332
Lund was a
complete asshole, too.
45
00:05:40,666 --> 00:05:42,707
A dyed-in-the-wool pervert.
46
00:05:42,999 --> 00:05:46,624
Fucking my dad at night,
jerking off kids by day.
47
00:05:46,916 --> 00:05:48,249
Enough was enough!
48
00:05:48,541 --> 00:05:51,457
The world was a bad place.
I had to save it!
49
00:06:06,582 --> 00:06:09,498
Peter Panne had made it.
50
00:06:09,791 --> 00:06:13,374
Like a maniac he bit
his mother's uterus.
51
00:06:13,999 --> 00:06:18,124
Let me out! Let me out!,
he yelled.
52
00:06:18,457 --> 00:06:22,290
I want to save the world
and spray my juices!
53
00:06:22,707 --> 00:06:25,540
To put out all the pain.
54
00:06:29,457 --> 00:06:32,707
While the proud parade
approached the helicopter
55
00:06:33,249 --> 00:06:36,790
Hassan waved goodbye
from his German rocket
56
00:06:37,374 --> 00:06:39,249
Peter's mother
gave an interview.
57
00:06:39,582 --> 00:06:42,707
And Peter's father
pulled his fuse.
58
00:06:54,832 --> 00:06:57,915
The UN mission was
a great success.
59
00:06:58,207 --> 00:07:00,082
The world finally understood:
60
00:07:00,374 --> 00:07:04,249
When you say UN,
the shit won't hit the fan!
61
00:07:04,874 --> 00:07:07,415
Keep your hands off my wife!
62
00:07:33,416 --> 00:07:36,874
DEM FILM
PRESENTS
63
00:07:38,916 --> 00:07:40,166
THE CRACK
64
00:07:40,457 --> 00:07:41,707
THE GAP
65
00:07:41,999 --> 00:07:43,249
THE CRACK
66
00:07:43,541 --> 00:07:44,916
THE GAP
67
00:09:02,624 --> 00:09:05,332
THE BIRTH OF THE MESSIAH
68
00:09:06,832 --> 00:09:08,707
The messiah is born,
forget all your fears.
69
00:09:08,999 --> 00:09:11,207
He has a big head
and really big ears.
70
00:09:11,916 --> 00:09:14,666
He has a big head
and really big ears!
71
00:09:14,957 --> 00:09:18,540
His head is covered
with countless ruins.
72
00:09:18,832 --> 00:09:21,582
His visage like ivory.
73
00:09:22,041 --> 00:09:26,249
Honey and myrtle
pour from his crack.
74
00:09:36,041 --> 00:09:38,707
Oh Lord, I felt you coming!
75
00:09:38,999 --> 00:09:40,582
You give me strength!
76
00:09:40,957 --> 00:09:43,915
2000 years of Vatican
was a tough time.
77
00:09:44,249 --> 00:09:47,332
But now you're here
and all will be good.
78
00:09:47,791 --> 00:09:49,707
We will overthrow the Pope!
79
00:09:50,249 --> 00:09:52,957
And we'll drink his blood!
80
00:10:00,291 --> 00:10:02,124
Down with the Vatican!
81
00:10:02,416 --> 00:10:05,541
Down with the
Roman Catholic church!
82
00:10:11,499 --> 00:10:14,832
Bishop Pierre had made
a Catholic straw puppet.
83
00:10:15,124 --> 00:10:17,499
He took his congregation
down the valley
84
00:10:17,791 --> 00:10:19,957
to deliver the news of the
birth of JESU PANNE.
85
00:10:20,791 --> 00:10:24,041
He had been excommunicated
in Austria for a reason.
86
00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:28,498
But here in Africa people
were still plain and simple.
87
00:10:29,124 --> 00:10:31,207
And he was
welcomed with gratitude.
88
00:10:47,041 --> 00:10:49,791
THE BIRTH OF
THE MOTHER OF GOD
89
00:10:50,916 --> 00:10:53,166
CHAPTER TWO
90
00:10:59,916 --> 00:11:04,041
The day of Peter's circumcision
was a beautiful day.
91
00:11:04,707 --> 00:11:06,998
Colourful flags everywhere.
92
00:11:07,291 --> 00:11:11,166
Merchants from the Serengeti
brought myrrh and ivory.
93
00:11:11,791 --> 00:11:15,874
The straw puppet was
replaced with baby Peter
94
00:11:16,166 --> 00:11:18,832
who couldn't wait
to get circumcised.
95
00:11:30,082 --> 00:11:33,748
Bishop Pierre was dinging it
in everyone's ears for hours
96
00:11:34,041 --> 00:11:35,999
declaring Peter's mother
Mother of God.
97
00:11:36,291 --> 00:11:38,957
But Martha refused.
98
00:13:34,499 --> 00:13:36,874
Martha got completely
out of control.
99
00:13:37,291 --> 00:13:41,791
Like a gigantic orgasm,
the wave of African folklore
100
00:13:42,124 --> 00:13:45,207
penetrated her into a growing
helix of hatred and violence.
101
00:13:45,957 --> 00:13:47,332
Pierre had put a spell on her.
102
00:13:47,749 --> 00:13:51,832
He gave her back the
confidence she forgot she had.
103
00:13:52,499 --> 00:13:54,207
Uh, yeah, Peter said.
104
00:13:54,541 --> 00:13:57,249
She was the Mother of God,
Peter said.
105
00:13:57,582 --> 00:13:59,457
And dad was a pig.
106
00:14:08,541 --> 00:14:11,124
THE HOLY FAMILY!
107
00:14:11,582 --> 00:14:13,707
CHAPTER THREE
108
00:15:18,332 --> 00:15:20,665
Peter's mother was humiliated.
109
00:15:20,957 --> 00:15:23,332
Werner hadn't slept
with her once.
110
00:15:23,916 --> 00:15:26,249
In her eyes, he was
nothing but a whore.
111
00:15:26,541 --> 00:15:29,332
A gay German UN whore.
112
00:15:44,041 --> 00:15:46,166
Martha only knew too well.
113
00:15:46,457 --> 00:15:49,748
After all, her sex with Werner
was only fellatio.
114
00:15:50,624 --> 00:15:53,374
She could tell any other
sperm from his.
115
00:15:54,249 --> 00:15:56,207
In colour and taste.
116
00:15:56,499 --> 00:15:58,915
In quantity and consistency.
117
00:16:19,332 --> 00:16:20,623
Yo, Werner!
118
00:16:21,749 --> 00:16:24,457
Y'know sumtin?
I'll cook ya sumtin!
119
00:16:44,749 --> 00:16:46,665
THE PROPHECY
120
00:17:00,541 --> 00:17:02,332
Now Martha understood.
121
00:17:02,707 --> 00:17:05,373
Sexually, Werner liked to
take the backdoor.
122
00:17:06,332 --> 00:17:08,623
And only Pierre
could show her the way
123
00:17:08,916 --> 00:17:11,041
to a new Mother of God.
124
00:17:11,457 --> 00:17:14,998
So she internalized his
prophecy the hard way.
125
00:17:27,582 --> 00:17:30,832
Like a maelstrom
of wrong feelings
126
00:17:31,124 --> 00:17:33,915
the images poured ecstatically.
127
00:17:34,291 --> 00:17:36,666
The blacks finished school.
128
00:17:36,999 --> 00:17:39,499
Contraception was
discussed publicly.
129
00:17:39,791 --> 00:17:41,499
The famine was history.
130
00:17:41,791 --> 00:17:43,874
And the symbol of independence
131
00:17:44,249 --> 00:17:47,624
was hard and tight as ever.
132
00:18:43,374 --> 00:18:47,040
GOOD SEX WILL BE PUNISHED
133
00:20:07,249 --> 00:20:10,665
Martha had never been happier.
134
00:20:11,374 --> 00:20:14,082
She enjoyed being
the Mother of God.
135
00:20:14,624 --> 00:20:16,332
Pierre had satisfied her.
136
00:20:16,624 --> 00:20:19,540
And he had healed her
screwed-up sexuality.
137
00:20:33,749 --> 00:20:35,429
I don't care if you're
fucking with Werner.
138
00:20:35,707 --> 00:20:37,915
As long as we become humans.
139
00:20:51,457 --> 00:20:53,998
The gay situation is
nothing for Jesus Christ.
140
00:20:58,916 --> 00:21:03,332
Pierre had questioned Peter's
homosexual upbringing.
141
00:21:04,041 --> 00:21:06,874
He knew what kind of
danger Peter was facing.
142
00:21:07,374 --> 00:21:10,749
Lund was a pervert and
lusting after Peter's...
143
00:21:13,124 --> 00:21:15,082
THOU SHALT NOT KILL
144
00:21:16,249 --> 00:21:17,832
PAGE FIVE
145
00:21:43,416 --> 00:21:44,749
Martha asked.
146
00:22:19,082 --> 00:22:21,957
The UN mission
was a great success.
147
00:22:22,249 --> 00:22:23,957
The efforts had paid off.
148
00:22:24,832 --> 00:22:26,582
And the world understood:
149
00:22:26,874 --> 00:22:30,749
When you say UN,
the shit won't hit the fan!
150
00:22:38,249 --> 00:22:41,999
CHILD SEX AT THE UN CAMP
151
00:23:07,124 --> 00:23:09,249
Martha was frantic with rage.
152
00:23:09,666 --> 00:23:12,207
Lund had played
with Peter's anus again.
153
00:23:12,499 --> 00:23:14,582
He had covered
the little one with faeces.
154
00:23:14,999 --> 00:23:17,290
What an enormous mess!
155
00:23:17,624 --> 00:23:20,040
Peter was confronted with
a bunch of questions.
156
00:23:20,541 --> 00:23:24,457
If only his mother hadn't
given him this cheap marble
157
00:23:25,041 --> 00:23:28,791
Peter would've
been spared a lot.
158
00:23:59,541 --> 00:24:02,291
Martha had run
the marble test again.
159
00:24:02,832 --> 00:24:07,248
She had watched Peter
put the marble at his anus.
160
00:24:07,541 --> 00:24:10,416
There wasn't the slightest doubt.
161
00:24:11,624 --> 00:24:15,040
It was the ultimate proof
that Lund was a pervert.
162
00:24:15,749 --> 00:24:18,665
Who used the little one
for his disgusting games.
163
00:24:35,541 --> 00:24:36,957
Hurry UP!
164
00:24:39,499 --> 00:24:41,332
Yeah, 'is important.
165
00:24:53,832 --> 00:24:57,332
Unfortunately, Peter had put
the marble into his nose.
166
00:24:57,624 --> 00:24:59,082
He couldn't breathe.
167
00:24:59,499 --> 00:25:02,749
The timing couldn't be worse,
the passer-by thought...
168
00:25:03,124 --> 00:25:04,499
before he spat blood.
169
00:25:11,832 --> 00:25:15,332
Unfortunately, Peter had put
the marble into his nose.
170
00:25:15,707 --> 00:25:17,165
He couldn't breathe.
171
00:25:17,582 --> 00:25:20,790
The timing couldn't be better,
Dr Vanderberg thought...
172
00:25:21,207 --> 00:25:23,165
and began his search.
173
00:25:27,457 --> 00:25:28,623
Good morning!
174
00:27:01,124 --> 00:27:03,957
I've had it! I'm leavin'!
175
00:27:10,582 --> 00:27:14,373
CHRISTMAS - THE LIFE SHOW
176
00:27:17,207 --> 00:27:19,540
Well, ladies and gentlemen,
Who would have thought?!
177
00:27:19,832 --> 00:27:21,415
What a spectacle!
178
00:27:22,582 --> 00:27:26,123
- You'll never get a divorce.
- Divorce? Why divorce?
179
00:27:26,541 --> 00:27:29,207
General Obens is dead.
The mission is at stake.
180
00:27:29,499 --> 00:27:30,874
- Your mission up my ass!
181
00:27:31,541 --> 00:27:32,832
Oh... really?!
182
00:27:38,374 --> 00:27:40,207
Three Madmen and a Kitchen!
183
00:27:43,416 --> 00:27:45,166
Cheerio, Werner!
184
00:27:45,874 --> 00:27:47,082
Where are you going?
185
00:27:48,249 --> 00:27:49,707
And up the stairs it goes!
186
00:27:50,082 --> 00:27:51,207
I'm your boyfriend!
187
00:27:52,749 --> 00:27:55,332
- I can't live without you!
- Leave me alone!
188
00:27:55,624 --> 00:27:58,540
Without you, I'm not human!
I'll be an animal!
189
00:28:00,082 --> 00:28:01,873
The return of the three madmen!
190
00:28:02,166 --> 00:28:03,374
Surprise, surprise!
191
00:28:04,582 --> 00:28:05,623
Leave me alone!
192
00:28:05,916 --> 00:28:08,541
Stop babbling! The show
starts in half an hour.
193
00:28:08,832 --> 00:28:10,415
- Don't you see
what's going on here?
194
00:28:10,791 --> 00:28:12,874
Don't you understand?
I must help her, Lund!
195
00:28:13,166 --> 00:28:15,582
- 'Help her', 'help her'!
- You never think of me!
196
00:28:16,207 --> 00:28:18,873
Now look who's coming!
How unexpected!
197
00:28:29,916 --> 00:28:31,374
Upsadaisy!
198
00:28:41,416 --> 00:28:44,457
And here we go!
That might hurt a little.
199
00:28:51,249 --> 00:28:53,207
Let's see if she
can find the marble.
200
00:29:07,124 --> 00:29:09,332
Upsadaisy!
Oops!
201
00:29:15,041 --> 00:29:17,499
That was Serbo-Croatian.
202
00:29:18,207 --> 00:29:18,540
100 POINTS
203
00:29:19,041 --> 00:29:19,374
100 POINTS
204
00:29:19,874 --> 00:29:20,874
100 POINTS
205
00:29:51,582 --> 00:29:54,207
Just five minutes later,
Lund returned.
206
00:29:54,791 --> 00:29:56,624
Everything went from
bad to worse.
207
00:29:57,332 --> 00:29:59,457
Martha had disfigured
her son completely.
208
00:29:59,791 --> 00:30:01,499
Now she was begging
for forgiveness.
209
00:30:09,749 --> 00:30:12,207
Lund honked his horn
till the cows came home.
210
00:30:12,541 --> 00:30:15,416
Being apart from Werner
had changed him forever.
211
00:30:16,082 --> 00:30:18,915
If Martha didn't get
her act together,
212
00:30:19,291 --> 00:30:20,957
Werner would hit the road.
213
00:30:21,374 --> 00:30:23,207
She had to get him back!
214
00:30:23,874 --> 00:30:25,124
So stop screaming woman!
215
00:30:25,541 --> 00:30:27,457
And fix him a cup of tea!
216
00:30:28,541 --> 00:30:30,207
Or a little snack!
217
00:30:40,124 --> 00:30:42,790
- G'day!
- G'day, Werner!
218
00:30:45,207 --> 00:30:47,998
Are you a cunt?
Or are you a general?
219
00:30:48,749 --> 00:30:50,832
- A general.
- There you go!
220
00:31:21,332 --> 00:31:24,415
You're a darling!
Oh yes you are!
221
00:31:51,207 --> 00:31:53,665
IT'S A MAD MAD MAD MAD
UN CAMP
222
00:31:53,957 --> 00:31:55,207
REEL SIX
223
00:31:59,457 --> 00:32:01,498
Things had changed at the camp.
224
00:32:01,791 --> 00:32:03,374
Hassan had taken over.
225
00:32:03,666 --> 00:32:07,082
Now he tried to destroy
the UN by all means.
226
00:32:07,624 --> 00:32:12,124
Thanks to my dad's imagination
the UN kept a spark of dignity.
227
00:32:15,832 --> 00:32:17,790
Tonight's gonna be fun!
And I'll be with ya!
228
00:32:18,082 --> 00:32:19,415
Your sweet lil' Lund!
229
00:32:22,082 --> 00:32:23,832
- I can't, I can't, I can't.
230
00:32:24,124 --> 00:32:26,790
- We belong together forever.
231
00:32:28,666 --> 00:32:30,916
- Look at me, I'm all fun!
- Finish my paint!
232
00:32:31,249 --> 00:32:33,249
What d'you want for fuck's sake?
233
00:32:33,582 --> 00:32:34,665
I'm coming!
234
00:32:35,999 --> 00:32:39,332
- We gotta go, I'm outta paint!
235
00:32:39,624 --> 00:32:40,624
I'm coming!
236
00:32:40,916 --> 00:32:42,457
What the fuck do you want?
237
00:32:45,582 --> 00:32:49,248
Tell the fat hippo that Europeans
have a great sense of humour.
238
00:32:49,541 --> 00:32:50,916
Or we wouldn't be here!
239
00:32:52,041 --> 00:32:53,874
Fuck off already!
240
00:32:55,666 --> 00:32:57,791
Come on Werner, do it for me!
241
00:32:58,166 --> 00:32:59,499
Think about tonight!
242
00:33:00,582 --> 00:33:01,582
And Martha.
243
00:33:39,916 --> 00:33:43,874
Ladies and gentleman!
From Germany with love.
244
00:33:44,291 --> 00:33:48,791
Folklore's finest:
UN general Werner Brenner!
245
00:34:24,374 --> 00:34:26,040
Werner was appalled.
246
00:34:26,416 --> 00:34:29,166
How often he had
fought for the blacks!
247
00:34:29,541 --> 00:34:33,207
For a new playground or the
state-of-the-art crematorium!
248
00:34:33,707 --> 00:34:38,082
He had learned
and lived their rituals.
249
00:34:38,416 --> 00:34:39,832
And now that!
250
00:34:40,124 --> 00:34:42,165
Never expect
thanks for anything!
251
00:34:42,707 --> 00:34:47,207
One man's journey
is another man's story!
252
00:36:05,707 --> 00:36:07,123
Down with the UN!
253
00:36:07,707 --> 00:36:10,457
Down with American imperialism!
254
00:36:12,499 --> 00:36:14,165
And the world understood:
255
00:36:14,499 --> 00:36:18,374
When you say UN,
the shit won't hit the fan!
256
00:36:41,624 --> 00:36:44,415
THE HEROD HOSPITAL
257
00:36:45,082 --> 00:36:47,832
SCROLL NUMBER SEVEN
258
00:36:54,582 --> 00:36:55,665
What's up?
259
00:37:04,416 --> 00:37:05,957
Asshole!
260
00:37:21,207 --> 00:37:25,707
IN THE VICIOUS CIRCLE
OF SURGERY
261
00:37:26,207 --> 00:37:30,707
HETEROSCHMETEROIST!
262
00:37:43,791 --> 00:37:46,791
That same night Effi Briest
arrived at the hospital
263
00:37:47,207 --> 00:37:49,165
and sank into the bishop's arms.
264
00:37:49,624 --> 00:37:54,124
Only Pierre could help her now,
only Pierre could feel her pain.
265
00:37:56,291 --> 00:37:58,791
Effi Briest's real husband
had lost the game.
266
00:37:59,082 --> 00:38:02,248
His dream of
the Last Supper was a lie.
267
00:38:02,749 --> 00:38:06,707
Nothing was as it used to be.
Time simply stood still.
268
00:38:07,291 --> 00:38:11,374
Even the slightest movement
vanished into a big nothing.
269
00:38:12,499 --> 00:38:14,957
Effi's choice was Pierre.
270
00:38:15,457 --> 00:38:16,915
And Pierre's choice was...
271
00:38:18,041 --> 00:38:19,082
Effi!
272
00:38:22,499 --> 00:38:25,874
Flying, she softly whispered.
273
00:38:26,207 --> 00:38:28,082
She couldn't believe her eyes.
274
00:38:28,374 --> 00:38:30,332
Her son - a hero?
275
00:38:30,791 --> 00:38:34,249
Mum! Dad! I love you so much!
276
00:38:37,207 --> 00:38:39,665
I love you! Mum! Dad!
277
00:38:58,541 --> 00:39:02,916
Dr Vanderberg entered and
welcomed the Mother of God.
278
00:39:03,291 --> 00:39:07,041
It had taken a long time
but now Peter's head was safe.
279
00:39:07,457 --> 00:39:11,040
The search had not been in vain.
Effi Briest was given the marble.
280
00:39:40,416 --> 00:39:44,291
We come back in five years.
Everything broken. Must repair!
281
00:40:55,332 --> 00:40:59,498
FIVE YEARS LATER
282
00:41:02,832 --> 00:41:06,165
Burning UN soldier on jelly.
283
00:41:19,041 --> 00:41:22,457
The air was filled with
the scent of jacarandas.
284
00:41:22,999 --> 00:41:24,874
The rainy season had begun.
285
00:41:25,249 --> 00:41:28,540
And the swans had flown
to the River Laktunga.
286
00:41:29,082 --> 00:41:32,498
Like every morning bishop
Pierre collected his nuns.
287
00:41:32,957 --> 00:41:36,998
And thanked God
for the wonders of nature.
288
00:41:39,624 --> 00:41:42,124
Martha had become an alcoholic.
289
00:41:42,416 --> 00:41:45,249
Every day, she drank hundreds
of those small red thingies.
290
00:41:45,541 --> 00:41:48,541
Pierre had tenderly
protected her and Werner.
291
00:41:49,124 --> 00:41:51,249
Peter's return was near.
292
00:41:51,541 --> 00:41:56,041
The much praised multi-cultural
community was at stake.
293
00:42:45,374 --> 00:42:48,415
Put your whiskey bottle
on my head
294
00:42:49,499 --> 00:42:52,207
so I can blow you standing up!
295
00:42:52,541 --> 00:42:54,457
Werner thought.
296
00:43:07,999 --> 00:43:08,582
IN THE VICIOUS CIRCLE OF THE
GAP
297
00:43:08,874 --> 00:43:09,457
IN THE VICIOUS CIRCLE OF THE
CRACK
298
00:43:09,749 --> 00:43:10,374
IN THE VICIOUS CIRCLE OF THE
GAP
299
00:43:10,666 --> 00:43:11,291
IN THE VICIOUS CIRCLE OF THE
CRACK
300
00:43:11,582 --> 00:43:12,207
IN THE VICIOUS CIRCLE OF THE
GAP
301
00:43:12,499 --> 00:43:13,082
IN THE VICIOUS CIRCLE OF THE
CRACK
302
00:43:13,374 --> 00:43:14,614
IN THE VICIOUS CIRCLE OF THE
GAP
303
00:43:18,957 --> 00:43:23,457
Peter's father had put on
his artificial limbs.
304
00:43:23,999 --> 00:43:28,499
Now he could enter
Dr Vanterberg's dungeons.
305
00:43:30,291 --> 00:43:32,499
His heart was racing.
306
00:43:33,082 --> 00:43:37,582
And a biting and bitter
smell tortured his nose.
307
00:43:41,457 --> 00:43:42,707
Where is my son?
308
00:43:43,666 --> 00:43:45,332
I demand an explanation!
309
00:43:46,916 --> 00:43:49,041
Your son is very
dangerous, you know?
310
00:43:49,457 --> 00:43:52,623
He's cruel. Just cruel!
311
00:43:53,082 --> 00:43:55,498
Cruel? Everyone is cruel!
312
00:43:59,499 --> 00:44:03,499
He has a 21 .5-inch penis
313
00:44:03,916 --> 00:44:06,291
in his crack!
314
00:44:13,666 --> 00:44:16,291
Look, Peter!
315
00:44:16,832 --> 00:44:18,665
Is that daddy?
316
00:44:31,291 --> 00:44:32,999
Holy shit!
317
00:44:35,999 --> 00:44:38,415
Werner couldn't
believe his eyes.
318
00:44:38,999 --> 00:44:42,082
Peter had changed completely.
319
00:44:42,624 --> 00:44:46,707
His once beautiful face
320
00:44:47,374 --> 00:44:51,874
had turned into an ugly grimace.
321
00:44:53,332 --> 00:44:56,415
Why shouldn't I be afraid?
322
00:45:03,249 --> 00:45:07,749
THE TRUMPET OF JERICHO
323
00:45:08,624 --> 00:45:12,707
That same day Peter
left the hospital.
324
00:45:13,541 --> 00:45:15,749
There were extreme
safety measures.
325
00:45:16,624 --> 00:45:19,374
Peter was wearing
a cute red hood
326
00:45:20,082 --> 00:45:23,290
while his daddy
landed the helicopter.
327
00:45:24,666 --> 00:45:26,249
This is daddy speaking!
328
00:45:26,916 --> 00:45:28,416
Release the little one!
329
00:45:45,457 --> 00:45:49,207
Werner, you coward,
you fucking coward!
330
00:45:59,624 --> 00:46:03,124
Ladies and gentlemen,
did you expect that?
331
00:46:44,832 --> 00:46:47,998
- What's up? Why did you stop?
- He smells like an army!
332
00:46:48,332 --> 00:46:50,332
So what? Are you
a cunt or a general?
333
00:46:50,624 --> 00:46:52,665
- I'm a cunt.
- You funny boner!
334
00:47:38,957 --> 00:47:41,332
This is General!
Come in, cunt!
335
00:48:33,249 --> 00:48:36,124
JESUS PANNE was overjoyed.
336
00:48:36,541 --> 00:48:39,207
Back with mother
and father at last!
337
00:48:40,374 --> 00:48:42,290
Back at home at last!
338
00:48:49,499 --> 00:48:51,540
Only Werner wasn't happy.
339
00:48:51,874 --> 00:48:54,999
He observed how JESUS
was slowly drifting
340
00:48:55,291 --> 00:48:59,791
into the obscure cult
of a failed priest.
341
00:49:28,332 --> 00:49:29,748
Cunt, come in!
342
00:49:33,749 --> 00:49:34,749
Please roger!
343
00:49:36,374 --> 00:49:39,332
- How could that happen?
- I coulda been dead!
344
00:49:39,666 --> 00:49:43,249
- Dead? My son is the Destroyer.
- He who owns him is invincible.
345
00:49:44,666 --> 00:49:45,999
Invincible!
346
00:49:46,291 --> 00:49:47,666
- Invincible.
347
00:51:44,541 --> 00:51:46,874
Peter had superhuman powers.
348
00:51:47,332 --> 00:51:49,832
His crack was
steaming and hissing.
349
00:51:50,166 --> 00:51:54,541
And he destroyed the house
in less than three minutes.
350
00:52:02,124 --> 00:52:03,915
Werner had to take action.
351
00:52:04,291 --> 00:52:06,666
If Peter fell in the
hands of the dictator
352
00:52:06,957 --> 00:52:10,457
he would be used as the
engine for his missile
353
00:52:10,749 --> 00:52:12,915
and destroy the world.
354
00:52:25,499 --> 00:52:27,165
The world was a bad place
355
00:52:27,499 --> 00:52:30,999
and Peter was in great danger.
356
00:53:20,832 --> 00:53:23,415
When I run through the trees
357
00:53:23,707 --> 00:53:26,582
I just love to have some cheese!
358
00:53:27,207 --> 00:53:29,040
Love to have some cheese!
359
00:53:29,332 --> 00:53:33,832
While you my dear
are waiting here!
360
00:53:34,916 --> 00:53:37,416
When I'm hungry again
361
00:53:37,749 --> 00:53:40,624
let me please
362
00:53:41,291 --> 00:53:43,207
have some more,
some more cheese!
363
00:53:43,499 --> 00:53:47,999
While you my dear
are waiting here!
364
00:53:54,499 --> 00:53:56,040
Shut your trap!
365
00:54:17,666 --> 00:54:19,666
Horst, he's talking to you!
366
00:54:20,041 --> 00:54:23,624
What do you mean?
Let me handle that!
367
00:54:29,332 --> 00:54:31,832
What are you doing?
Leave me alone!
368
00:54:32,166 --> 00:54:33,916
Naughty, naughty!
369
00:54:34,582 --> 00:54:36,082
This is daddy speaking!
370
00:54:53,124 --> 00:54:54,415
Who is this guy?
371
00:54:54,707 --> 00:54:58,248
- I am afraid. Afraid.
- Pull yourself together!
372
00:54:58,541 --> 00:54:59,541
Sing a song!
373
00:55:11,041 --> 00:55:13,541
- Lund, I can't do it.
- Werner, you can do it!
374
00:55:19,916 --> 00:55:20,916
I can't!
375
00:55:26,124 --> 00:55:27,124
Naughty, naughty!
376
00:55:28,791 --> 00:55:30,624
Be quiet! Don't tell them!
377
00:55:31,249 --> 00:55:32,999
Shoot, Werner, shoot!
378
00:55:33,499 --> 00:55:35,332
I simply can't do it!
379
00:55:58,957 --> 00:56:01,498
The missile had missed its target.
380
00:56:02,332 --> 00:56:05,582
But as so often in life,
everyone agreed
381
00:56:06,041 --> 00:56:08,332
that it hadn't missed.
382
00:56:30,957 --> 00:56:32,832
What a whore!
383
00:57:11,416 --> 00:57:15,457
I had made it! I proudly drove
through the streets with Hassan
384
00:57:16,124 --> 00:57:18,040
and enjoyed the cheering.
385
00:57:18,832 --> 00:57:20,457
Now dad was jealous.
386
00:57:20,749 --> 00:57:23,665
He desperately tried to
assassinate Hassan.
387
00:57:25,916 --> 00:57:30,416
But Hassan was stronger and mum
and dad were severely punished.
388
00:57:36,291 --> 00:57:39,332
The UN mission
was a great success.
389
00:57:39,624 --> 00:57:41,374
The efforts had paid off.
390
00:57:41,916 --> 00:57:43,541
And the world understood:
391
00:57:43,957 --> 00:57:47,915
When you say UN,
the shit won't hit the fan!
392
00:58:19,332 --> 00:58:22,498
THE DESTRUCTION
OF THE WORLD
393
00:58:22,999 --> 00:58:25,040
LAST CHAPTER
394
00:59:58,624 --> 01:00:00,874
Martha and Peter were appalled.
395
01:00:01,291 --> 01:00:05,041
Peter was in the hands of
political and religious fanatics
396
01:00:05,374 --> 01:00:07,874
whose aim was the
destruction of the world
397
01:00:08,166 --> 01:00:10,207
using our hero PETER PANNE
398
01:00:10,499 --> 01:00:14,999
for their filthy agenda!
399
01:00:51,624 --> 01:00:53,540
Dad had lost everything.
400
01:00:53,957 --> 01:00:57,582
Life was but a game.
And the game was over.
401
01:01:11,207 --> 01:01:12,290
As we said:
402
01:01:12,749 --> 01:01:17,207
Life was but a game.
And the game was over.
403
01:02:03,166 --> 01:02:06,832
Martha and Werner had
found peace in their orgasms.
404
01:02:07,124 --> 01:02:09,624
A peace that was so badly needed
405
01:02:09,916 --> 01:02:12,249
and that was so hard to find.
406
01:02:12,582 --> 01:02:16,582
It took them 30 years
to find themselves.
407
01:02:16,916 --> 01:02:18,874
And now it was clear:
408
01:02:19,541 --> 01:02:21,666
Peace wasn't just a word.
409
01:02:21,999 --> 01:02:23,957
Peace was reality.
410
01:02:24,416 --> 01:02:26,166
If you let it.
411
01:03:57,999 --> 01:04:00,249
Life was but a game.
412
01:04:01,041 --> 01:04:04,249
And the world was over.
413
01:04:51,332 --> 01:04:53,582
Life was but a game.
414
01:04:54,707 --> 01:04:58,457
And the world was over.
415
01:05:33,207 --> 01:05:36,623
Washington D.C.
Christmas Eve
416
01:05:46,457 --> 01:05:48,707
Cicciollina had run
the marble test again
417
01:05:48,999 --> 01:05:50,915
and had observed how Jeff Koons
418
01:05:51,207 --> 01:05:55,498
unmistakably put the
china putto at his behind.
419
01:05:55,791 --> 01:05:59,832
It was a clear proof that the
president of the USA was a pervert
420
01:06:00,207 --> 01:06:03,873
who wanted to use the Holy
Family for his filthy games.
421
01:06:40,791 --> 01:06:42,457
What's up?
422
01:07:32,749 --> 01:07:33,957
You idiot!
423
01:10:34,041 --> 01:10:36,999
Push, Martha, push!
Y'know, you're almost there!
424
01:11:12,624 --> 01:11:14,124
THE END
425
01:11:21,957 --> 01:11:26,457
Dedicated to the victims
of slowness and the UN.
426
01:11:33,249 --> 01:11:36,082
5 years later
427
01:15:28,624 --> 01:15:32,207
Subtitles:
Tobias Rauscher
31331
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Tatar
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof
