Original subtitles

Downloaded from YTS.MX

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Golden Harvest and Johnny Mak Productions present

THE ICEMAN COMETH

Presented by: Raymond Chow

Presented by: Johnny Mak

Produced by: Stephen Shiu

Director of Photography: Poon Hang Sang Camera: Wong Chi Wai, Bao Hei Ming, Ko Kwok

Wah Lam Kwok Wah and Ma Cho Sing

Art Direction: Fang Ying Costumes Chan Koo-Fong

Planning: Lok Yi Ling Project Manager: Wong Hiew Production Manager: Lorraine Ho

Action Choreographer: Yuen Brothers Yuen Wah, Yuen Tak, Chin Ka Lok

Original Music: Chan Wing Leung

Starring Yuen Biao

Yuen Wah & Maggie Cheung

Cast: Chow Kwok-Lun, Ng Man-Ling, Yip San,

Tso Tat-Wah Lam Chung, Sin Wing, Kam Sek Ming

Friendly Cameos: Wong Jing, Corey Yuen, Tai Bo,

Tsui Kam Kong, Fung Siu Fan, Wong Yiu Ming, Liu Wai Hung, Blue Jeans

Friendly Cameos: Kong Yan-Yin, Lee Lai Yui, Mui Oi Fong, Lan Yin-Shan, Helena Law Lan

Directed by: Clarence Fok

Princess!

That scoundrel Feng San! He dares to defile and murder the Princess Nan Chang.

My own cousin, Nan Chang, a princess of noble blood...

ravished by a criminal...

How am I to face my ancestors?

Your health, your Majesty Your health, your Majesty!

Your Majesty,

It is Fang Shou Zheng's duty to patrol the Royal City,

but he colluded with his brother Feng San, and allowed this atrocity.

I beg Your Majesty for justice against Fang Shou Zheng!

I had no foreknowledge of Feng San's intents!

Feng San is cunning and highly skilled in martial arts.

Enough!

Your family will be exterminated, and you beheaded at the market entrance!

Your Majesty, mercy!

- Wait... - Wait.

Wait.

Since you have been loyal to me for years...

I will give you special dispensation to seek redemption.

You have twenty days to capture Feng San.

No...

I grant you... seven days to capture Feng San.

Thank you, Your Majesty. I will redeem myself,

and return successful within my granted seven days.

Feng San will face justice.

Princess Nan Chang is the granddaughter of the Wanli Emperor...

ravished by that criminal...

What will I say to Emperor Yanli when we meet in the afterlife?

Your majesty, your health...

Hey, get me out of here before he changes his mind.

Fang Shou Zheng, on your knees!

Your majesty grants you twenty days to return with Feng San.

Thank you your majesty! Your servant will return with Feng San, within 20 days!

Thank you your majesty for your mercy. I take your leave now.

I salute you, our master-uncle.

Uncle! Uncle!! Are you all right?

It was the traitor Feng San who did this to me.

Why did he hit you so hard?

Feng San snuck in the night before last to try to steal the Black Jade Buddha.

I found out and we started to fight.

He struck me fatally, and he stole the Black Jade Buddha.

Why was he after the Black Jade Buddha?

The Black Jade Buddha is a relic of the Buddha.

It entered China in the third century.

And has been our monastery's responsibility since.

It is written in the scriptures:

"On the day of the Buddha's enlightenment, the devil paid him a visit."

"He asked him, my sins are countless Can I reach enlightenment?"

"Buddha worked a miracle and devised the Wheel of Life and Death."

"The devil sat on it and held the Black Jade Buddha tightly,"

"while saying the Prajna Heart Sutra."

"In an instant, the devil experienced one hundred lifetimes."

"His sins were eradicated, and he became anew"

The Buddha made a great vow that on the anniversary of his enlightenment, seven

shooting stars would appear in the sky.

And the powers of the Wheel of Life and Death should be resurrected.

To go through rebirth and death 100 times in an instant?

Does he truly believe this folktale, and believe he can use it to

travel to another era?

But Uncle, without the Wheel of Life and Death, the Black Jade Buddha is useless.

It is now clear that the Tibetan ambassador has arrived,

and among his tributes is the Wheel of Life and Death.

Midnight, in seven days time, will be the activating hour.

I must stop him!

Feng San, you can't escape. Surrender now.

Stupid dog, you've come too late!

Feng San.

Stupid dog, have you lost your eyesight? Is there a tumor in your brain?

Don't you know I'm the older brother?

The first of our monastery's commandments is Thou Shalt Not Rape!

You have raped and murdered thirteen women!

Why have you become like this?

Stupid dog, we started practicing martial arts when we were five years old.

From dawn before the rooster crowed until midnight every day.

It was an intolerable life.

Day in day out, for 25 years. A whole 25 years!

I've finally mastered the art and become invincible.

Now that I've reached perfection, it's time to indulge myself to the fullest.

Killing women! Delightful and exciting!

You've lost your soul. You've gone mad!

Today I tear my cape as I tear our relationship.

We are no longer brothers.

Your Majesty, and though your servant is unable to bring Feng San to face justice.

I have at least fulfilled my duty in killing him...

But your servant will also perish today.

I will no longer be able to serve Your Majesty.

Your Majesty, please look after your most precious self.

Tsinghua University, Research Team for the Northern Region.

Someone's hurt!

That way! We've got to help him!

- Quick, over there. - Quick, quick!

- Hurry. - Where is he?

- Hurry, perform CPR! - Drag him out!

- Be careful. - Be gentle with him.

Pass it over.

This is a magnificent great discovery.

This proves that homosexuality existed even in ancient times.

Does that mean they also had AIDS?

- Goddamn it, stop talking nonsense. - Yes, yes.

In 1887, the Institute of Bio-research Center in Sweden

resuscitated a frog which had been frozen for a century.

In 1985, a university successfully germinated a lotus seed

which had been frozen for 20 million years.

Therefore, in theory, the two ancient corpses

may be restored to life by the use of electrodes.

Stop talking nonsense.

The bodies are being kept at minus 10 degrees.

Attempting to revive them means defrosting them.

If the attempt fails, the bodies will start to decompose.

We can't risk that.

I suggest we send the bodies to the US. They have more advanced equipment there.

- What do you think? - Yes, yes.

And, of course, we should all go along, to conduct the experiment.

It's a golden opportunity to apply for research funding to go abroad.

- True. - I've got to go.

I say you're like Li Peng (Premiere of China, 1987-1998),

killed too many and trying to abscond?

Chai ling was your student, no wonder you're looking to flee!

- Enough!

There's no hope for our country. We should all leave together.

If the 27th Army hears this, they'll come in here with tanks!

You can all relax.

I expressed my support for the Central Government's narrative.

I'm an expert in double-speak and a standing member of the party.

No one will ever suspect me.

We can say that the transportation of the corpses is just an excuse

to go after the exiled student leader Wu'erkaixi.

Carry on teaching that the government loves its people to death.

That turtle egg Li Peng will certainly authorize us to go abroad.

What a great speech!

The most ideal would be to go through Hong Kong.

Where we could research "Club Boss" and "Volvo Club" establishments.

- What do you think?

- I couldn't agree more. There are women in Hong Kong!

What he said wasn't nonsense, not at all.

I found a car, boss.

Fat Bull, don't you have any brains?

How can we fit all the stuff in such a small car?

The boss is having a party tonight. We've got to take everything in there!

I didn't know that. I can fetch a bigger car or we can make two trips.

Get to it!

Which is more expensive, frozen prawns or abalones?

Are you stupid? Grab everything!

- What the hell is it? - It says "National Treasure"

- How mysterious. - Let's check it out.

We'll be executed if we steal something of national importance.

Who said we're taking it? Can't I be curious?

Bring the tools to open it.

What a huge refrigerator.

I've never seen this before...

What is this?

Don't you know anything? This is called a Terracotta Warrior.

Wait, Terracottas aren't like pana cottas

No reason for it to be in a fridge

Then let's get your expert opinion on what this is.

A dead body!

Shit, that sounds like the boss's son

What bad luck, I thought he was at the party.

That milksop is tricky, can't believe he'd come back tonight.

Thankfully we're quick on our feet!

You scared me, shithead!

How did this happen?

There are two possibilities.

Someone stole it, or...

It walked out of here!

Shit, now that those two are gone, we're going to be executed for sure!

What shall we do?

Don't you have a brain? Think of a way.

I have a plan.

What a scary place...

Could this be hell?

Why are there so many monsters?

Why do I feel weak?

- I'm so cold... - Who's that?

Who are you?

Friend, you new here? Here for a handout?

Yeah? Then line up!

The church social workers are here!

Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!

We haven't eaten for days and we're dying of hunger.

Merry Christmas and a happy New Year.

- Good health... - Thank you Lord Social Worker

A very merry Christmas! Merry Christmas.

- A Christmas present. Good health to you. - Thank you Mr. social worker

That's for you.

Good sirs, where might I be?

- Kowloon City. - Kowloon City?

Where is Kowloon City?

- It's in Kowloon. - And where is Kowloon?

It's in Hong Kong.

So where is Hong Kong?

It's in Asia.

I don't know any of these places.

- But do you know Beijing? - Beijing? Of course we know Beijing.

How long will it take to walk there?

I think probably a year.

Was I taken to the land of the barbarians while I was unconscious?

This guy is a nutter. We have to watch what we say.

Good sir, what did you do for a living?

I am the Chief Royal Guard,

third ranked servant of his majesty the Emperor.

And may I ask who you are?

He is the Eastern foreman. He's a eunuch.

Nice to meet you.

He's a eunuch?

He isn't castrated!

- And who are you? - I'm the emperor!

How dare you!

A pretender to the throne? That's treason! I will behead you!

Wait, wait!

Mi-lord, this is my petition, I am innocent.

Please pass my petition to the emperor.

HISTORY OF CHINA

What are you doing? I'm cold!

Give me back my jacket!

Ma'am, real big of you to take on someone else's debt.

But debt is debt.

And you've got to give me something today.

Or what will I tell the boss?

Enough yapping, moron,

I'm dry, might as well kill me.

If you aren't up to it, let's talk in the new year.

Don't say I'm not giving you a chance.

I have a client who wants some excitement...

wants you to fulfill his rape-in-car fantasy.

Are you crazy? I'm a model, not a hooker.

"Model" my ass. He's offering $5000. Five Thousand!

No way. I don't do pervs, no matter the pay.

How dare you touch me.

Give her her present.

You're circus folk?

You don't have to say any more of your Chinese wisdom.

What's the make of the car?

And I won't do it on a main street,

but if it's in an alley, I'll consider it.

Also, if he looks like a perv, I'm going home!

- What! No way, no how! - What position do you think you're in?

What's this? Huh?

That mask has to go.

Please take off the mask, boss.

Happy!

Go to hell!

Hey!

Fuck.

Tie!

Hurry up.

A deviant?

You masked pervert!

You race traitor, speaking a barbarian tongue? Die!

Help!

Milady, did he scare you?

Who are you? They didn't say anything about you!

Boss! Boss! What happened?

Hey!

My dear brothers, can I help?

I'll help you to sleep!

Big brother, that was really cool!

Get him! Get him!

Milady, it's safe now.

Who the fuck are you? Why couldn't you mind your own business?

Milady, I preserved your chastity. Why are you reproaching me?

A girlfriend owed them money and vanished.

I'm her guarantor, had to pay it off somehow. Get it?

So it's forced prostitution.

Milady, you are honorable and courageous, a true friend.

Exalted among women, I honor thee.

I don't care. You've ruined this.

You've got to go explain it to their boss tomorrow.

No problem. I am a man of honor and will take the responsibility.

- I shall take my leave now - Wait. Give me your pager number.

- Pager? - How do I find you tomorrow?

I have only just arrived at this place, and have not a place to rest my head.

Hey, give me your ID card.

- ID card? - You're a "cousin", huh?

This isn't over, bitch. I'll shower you with acid someday!

You're still threatening me with acid? Fucker.

You're coming with me.

Brothers, this will wear off in an hour. Adieu.

Come in, stop looking so shady.

And leave your stinky clothes there.

Don't want them to stink up the whole place.

What a nut.

How magical.

Hey, cousin, what the fuck are you doing?

May I inquire into what is emitting this light?

Electricity.

Which village are you from?

I'm from Ji village of Shanxi Province.

- Never heard of it. - May I ask where Milady is from?

- Yau Ma Tei - Yau Ma Tei?

Milady, we use oil for lights in my village.

My dear warrior, we use lightning for lights.

Lightning? Like thunder and lightning?

Correct.

A giant power plant collects the lightning, and then, with the press of a button,

the lightning travels through the wires, and emits light.

- Do you understand? - Absolutely.

Do you really? Don't pretend.

Men and women shouldn't touch.

Fuck.

Was your home ransacked by your mortal enemies?

I've been hustling, no time to tidy, okay?

I've never in my life seen a lady's bedchamber in such a condition.

You're insulting me? I'll beat you up.

Yes? Wrong number bitch!

You're the fucking cunt!

And what is this object?

Are you fucking with me? How can you have never seen a phone?

Knock yourself out.

Hey Polly, your Japanese client has arrived. Come if you need money.

Wrong number, bitch! You are the fucking cuuuuuunt!

You're a fast learner. Good boy!

You flatter me.

Milady, what now is this?

This is an electric kettle. It's for boiling water.

I see, it's an electric kettle.

And what about the little house that brought us up here?

An elevator.

Elevator, electric light, electric wires, electric kettle, telephone...

Electric chair?

Fuck.

Stop laughing. Are you retarded?

You'll get the electric chair!

Milady, may I ask...

Darling, how are you?

Milady, hello.

Come closer, my beloved,

Whatever for?

I'm so lonely, come and hold me...

Madness! Men and women shouldn't touch.

I, Fang Shou Zheng, am a man of dignity.

I will not submit to seduction. Get away from me, devil woman!

- Nowhere for you to escape... - I was only kidding...

You're so naughty... stop...

You degenerate! Stop this immediately or I'll kill you!

- Don't kill it! - Get away!

Where did he go?

- Where are those two? - Who?

- This is just a picture screen. - Picture?

A picture that can move? How can it look so real?

- Magical pictures? - Magical pictures? Don't be silly.

It's acting. You must have it in your village. It's like Chinese opera.

People filmed it with a machine,

and it comes to us through the wires.

It's called a television.

- Do you understand now? - Entirely.

Mister, how long's it been since you showered?

You stink, really. You have to shower immediately.

Milady, please respect yourself.

Respect? Respect my ass. Bath! Now!

Wash your ass, your toes and don't forget your armpits. Go!

Miss, please excuse yourself.

Hey, can you work the taps?

Sure, just need to take a look...

I see... It's an electric well.

I'm thirsty.

The water is below expectation. Let me try again.

It's far too salty.

Let me wash my face.

Milady, men and women shouldn't touch.

Milady, why are you so frightened?

Cockroach!

- Do you mean this? - What are you doing? Throw it away.

That's quite tasty.

Tastes much better than ones from home.

Miss, the electric kettle.

Is it very hot? Not really...

A Qigong master has arrived in Hong Kong.

His students will now perform a demonstration.

Stayed tuned.

Here you see a red-hot chain on a bed of coals.

Here is his student, focusing his energies on the chain.

And with one swoop, he has picked the chain up.

It's amazing!

Milady, what are you looking at?

Nothing, nothing...

So he has supernatural powers...

I'm going to sleep now. You take your time.

Don't touch my things.

It's showing a Ming Dynasty opera...

It's the emperor.

Our soldiers have been defeated by the rebels outside the city gate.

The rebels are in the palace? This cannot be true.

God decided to destroy the Ming Dynasty.

The Ming Dynasty collapsed?

The Ming Dynasty falls? It's fiction, right?

"In 1644, Li Zicheng forced his way into Beijing."

"The last Ming emperor committed suicide and the dynasty collapsed."

Has the Wheel truly brought me three hundred years into the future?

It's impossible. It's impossible!

Both my country and family destroyed...

Your Majesty! Your Majesty!

Your servant deserves to die a million deaths.

Your servant was unable to protect your majesty.

My failure is unforgivable.

Your servant deserves death.

Your servant deserves death.

He's really into this movie... this guy has real problems.

So, I'll be negotiating with the boss today.

If it doesn't work out, I'll snap my fingers,

which is the signal for you to rough him up.

Rough him up? What is the meaning of "rough."

This, moron! Got it?

I understand. I must hit him with a fist.

And look at yourself, you look like nothing.

How will anyone take you seriously?

You look lame. You've got to look like me.

Like how?

Shake, like this. Got to show some style.

Light me a cigarette.

Fuck, what a pig brain.

Girlie! Boss asks you to go in.

Smarten up.

Brother Chang... Don't borrow if you can't repay. I understand.

I'll pay the money back.

I can put up with the way your minions treated me the other night,

but my boyfriend can't.

You know, those Chinese thugs don't value life and are skilled in kung fu.

Brother Hung can attest.

I don't often take him out.

Only brought him here today to apologize to you.

Lets just forget about last night.

It wasn't an electric well... it was an electric latrine...

Zheng! Zheng!

Let's go!

Superb, superb!

Look out!

I move!

I duck!

I jump!

I flip!

- What is that mysterious weapon? It's so powerful!

You nut, it's a gun (spear)!

A spear?

I'm an expert at catching those!

That weapon is indeed powerful.

- We're no match for him. - Let's retreat.

Jump down from here. We'll get away quicker. Let's jump.

- It's too high. I changed my mind. - Let's jump quickly.

No!

- No... - Jump.

Quick, run.

Hey, bitch!

Is that your man?

What joyous news! News indeed!

Hey! Sit!

What a moron.

- What would you like, Polly? - A coffee.

And sir?

- A glass of water will do for him. - OK.

Look at this, look closely It's an ID card.

Without it, the cops will kill you, and you can't work.

Milady, you must have a great number of friends.

Please help me get one, and a job too.

No problem.

But tell me why you're so stupid, why you don't know anything.

Which rock did you crawl out from under?

I'm concerned that if I were to tell you, milady would strike me again.

No I won't! Spill the beans!

In truth, I am the Ming Dynasty chief royal guard,

third ranking servant of his royal emperor.

In an attempt to bring my deviant older brother to justice,

I climbed aboard the Wheel,

which brought me here, three centuries into the future.

And now I'm here in this Hong Kong of Kowloon of Asia.

Forget it.

Fine. So what can you do?

Though I am an accomplished warrior, I have also spent time on the arts.

My interests include opening locks, carpentry,

fishing, hunting and folk dancing.

I've taken care of myself since I was young.

So I am familiar with laundry and tilling the land.

I can grow vegetables, weave, and embroidery.

And when I was in the army, I cooked for all 500 men in my regiment.

Pretty run of the mill... all men should know these things.

Don't say that I'm not nice to you. I'll do you a favor.

You can be my bodyguard and general servant.

I'll pay you $300 a month. Aren't I good to you?

- Are you happy? - No.

I, Fang Shou Zheng am an honorable man, I cannot be your maidservant.

You're too chauvinistic. When in Rome, do as the Romans do.

Women are superior here. Only dignified men serve women.

Watch this. Watch carefully.

- You bastard! - You poor thing, are you hurt?

Serves you right!

Times have changed.

What's more, even the coins we use have a woman's head on them.

Impossible. It is the natural law that men are superior to women.

Stop fighting, everyone is looking

- You asshole, hold this! - Lily!

See?

Go on then, scram! You're undocumented.

The cops will beat you to death, I don't care.

I would never have guessed that I, Fang Shou Zheng, would sink so low.

My country collapsed, my home destroyed.

I have no choice but to bear these insults.

I hope the day will come when my country is rebuilt.

Milady, I accept your offer for now.

Good. Now practice putting two cubes of sugar in my coffee

and stirring it properly.

- It's been stirred properly... - How dare you?

How dare you use your fingers?

Think it over. I'm paying a fat $300 a month to hire you.

- Don't you know how to play mahjong? - Miss Polly, your tea.

Are you fucking tripping? I asked you to serve my girlfriends, not me.

Get over here, moron, and I waste $300 a month on you!

- Sorry about that. - Come on, come on...

Polly, here's your tea.

What's this?

- Mud lemon tea. - Go to hell! Go to hell!

My country was wiped out, my home destroyed.

To bear the insults, accept the bitter life.

My country collapsed, my home destroyed. Fang Shou Zheng, bear it!

Zheng, what are you doing? Hurry up, I'm desperate!

I'm washing clothes.

Why is it taking so long?

What are you doing?

Hey!

- Laundry! - Laundry? This is how you do laundry?

I'll go crazy soon.

Help, my home is ruined.

Fire! The flat is on fire! Zheng, get out now!

Help!

Zheng, what are you doing?

I am making you some nice food to eat.

Are you insane? Use the microwave!

I'm going to lose my mind. There'll be nothing left...

Why are there so many plants?

I planted them, look.

They do look nice

- What's this? - An African orchid.

Are you really a man?

Fuck, what is he scribbling?

- So lame! - Give it back!

Give it back.

What's so good about this carving anyways?

Robbery! Robbery!

How much did you get?

- Here. - You should have taken gold watches

Jewelry is hard to sell. Why don't you learn?

You're really asking for it...

Take it.

I'll have a bath first.

Hello. Page 996 for me.

It's Polly calling him. Yes.

"Polly paged you."

- Have a bath. - Stop being so fussy.

Open the door! Open the door!

- Someone's outside. Do you hear? - Don't worry.

- I recognize the voice! It's my husband! - Your husband?

Open the door!

Zheng...

- You pervert! - What is it?

Hey, mister!

Zheng, leave him alone. Stop hitting him!

I'm fine. Since you hit him so hard, he won't try anything again.

- Are you really OK? - Yes.

- Be careful. - Go back down.

I'm at my wits end. My husband really loves me.

When a man loves a woman that much, it becomes unbearable.

What should I do?

How about you give me $5,000 and I'll send him away?

Take this.

Only $3,000? I'm afraid it isn't enough.

Maybe it'll work, I'll give it a try.

Alright then, bye.

Why don't you take a shower first, I'll be right back, okay?

Shower? Fuck you!

Don't be like that... bye bye.

Why don't you go take a shower first...

Alright! Be quick!

Zheng!

Hey! What are you doing?

You denigrate!

Zheng! Don't kill him, I'll be alright.

He won't do it again. Go home first.

- You'll be fine? - Yes, yes, I'll be fine.

What is a model anyway?

We try to sell fashionable clothes to clients,

so I have to wine and dine them all the time.

Some clients are nice...

but some, if given the chance, will try anything.

I was really scared.

Thanks for helping me out. It's good to teach them a lesson.

Earning a living in Hong Kong is hard.

Now you know. It's a hard life.

Hey! Whatcha doing you shithead?

I warn you, if you break the TVs and no one buys them, you're dead meat.

What the fuck are you staring at? Never seen a woman?

Drink the whole can, then you can lick my toes.

Go to hell!

Darling!

Darling...

Darling, he tried to rape me!

Bastard!

How dare you touch my wife.

Darling!

Darling!

Let her go or I'll kill you!

If it wasn't for me, you'd be on the streets!

I've worked ten jobs for you already. I've made you a fortune.

And you never gave me a cent.

Shut up! I'm the boss. You do as I say!

Apologize to my wife! On your knees!

Aren't you afraid of my gun?

I've got the bullets.

Milady is really getting more and more outrageous. Treats me like a slave girl.

My job description said nothing about her friends.

Your man is okay, at least he can handle your temper.

His kung fu is so good.

Fucking must be extra athletic and orgasmic.

Oh shut up, he's not my boyfriend.

- I treat him like a maid. - A maid?

How about this: I pay you $5,000 and you sell him to me.

- I'll pay $10,000. - I'll pay $15,000.

I'm not selling him, however much you offer, he's not for sale.

- Fine. - It's your turn.

By the way, does he know you use him to cheat your clients?

Of course not. You can't tell by looking, but he's retarded.

He's all mine!

Does he know what we do for a living?

How would he know? I'm classy. Not sure about you, though.

- Do I look like one? - No, but you sound like one.

Once people hear your voice they know you're a hooker.

- Hooker? - Stop it! We're all hookers.

"Hooker: a slang for sex worker."

So I've been helping her cheat her clients.

God, I, Fang Shou Zheng, am a respectable Royal Guard.

How did I sink to helping a hooker cheat criminals?

Hey! Are the noodles ready? I'm starving to death! Hurry!

No. I won't work for this hooker any more!

Am I doing this for the ID card?

The nation is broken, though mountains and rivers remain.

In cities in the Spring, the grass and trees grow deeply.

Sensing the moment, flowers shed tears.

Hating the separation, birds are fearful at heart.

Even though my country was destroyed,

I still don't have to bear her temper, do I?

Have I fallen in love with her?

It's impossible.

It's impossible.

Today's papers, please.

"Cold-blooded pervert raped and decapitated young woman."

"Body found, limbs broken. Raped and murdered in cold blood."

Broken limbs? This is Feng San's M.O.

Could he be here too?

It must be him.

"Arrest Notice"

"This man is Feng San. He acts like a mad wolf and has no morals."

"He rapes women and robs people. All good citizens, beware of him."

Please come up.

Follow me.

She's a model. But needs some quick cash. It's just a cameo appearance.

Hey, Polly.

Hello? Hello? Zheng, is that you?

Zheng. What's wrong with you? I've been paging you all day.

I have an appointment with a client at Pei Pa Garden later.

I'm afraid he may assault me. Get ready to save me.

This woman wants to use me again to help her commit crimes.

I'm a respectable guard. I won't help you again.

996.

Yes, tell him that Polly called him. Tell him to come to me now.

I need to see the money first.

Well, of course.

- How about having a cigarette first? - No. I don't take drugs.

Then I'll enjoy.

Why don't you take a bath first.

You bathe first, I want to watch...

Sure, but it'll cost you extra.

Is that enough? Take it.

Are these props?

Can't say... I took them from the body of someone who cheated me...

His dead body, that is...

I'm only kidding. We can always talk about money later.

Your muscles are so toned. Where do you work out?

You get me so excited. You're so aesthetically marvelous.

- Oh really? - I'll have a bath first.

I'm a bit shy.

Fucking Zheng, you better be on your way.

Your muscles are so delicious!

I really need to reflect on what I'm doing...

Now that I know Feng San is still alive, I should complete my mission.

Have I really forgotten my duty to the emperor because of an ignorant lass?

Fang Shou Zheng, you are infatuated by a spider jinn.

No.

I must complete my mission.

You fucking son of a bitch, you're insane!

When my bodyguard arrives, he'll kill you!

You're insane, you're a maniac!

You like that?

- I don't want to play this game anymore. - Come on.

- Please don't. I'm a model... - You hands are so smooth.

I don't want to play this game anymore.

It really hurts! Let me go! It really hurts!

Hello, Polly? Is that Polly?

Say something!

I am not Polly. What do you want from her?

Why is that voice so familiar?

That voice sounds familiar.

Zheng, where are you?

I'm at a phone booth. Don't raise your voice to me.

I have no faith in you any more. I won't let you use me again. Bye.

Zheng, please don't do this now!

Someone wants to kill me! He broke my hand! I'm in agony!

- He broke your hand? - Yes, Yes.

Who? Who broke your hand?

He looks like George Lam.

George Lam? Who is George Lam?

Zheng!

Hello? Hello?

George Lam? Who's George Lam?

George Lam? Who is George Lam?

- Who's George Lam? - George Lam?

This is George Lam. Don't you know him? Are you an illegal immigrant?

Peasant!

It's Feng San! So George Lam is Feng San!

Feng San!

Polly!

- Hello... - Feng San?

- Stupid dog!

- Don't do anything rash! - Go to the cemetery in Happy Valley now.

- Where are you? - At the second gate, with the sculpture.

- Where are you? - Jump over, like the dog you are!

- Feng San, tell me where you are. - Go into the crypt.

Stupid dog!

It's been a few hundred years... all good, I trust?

Feng San!

- Zheng! - Polly!

Stop now, or I'll squeeze her head open!

You're using a defenseless woman to threaten me?

You'll be the laughing stock of the Jianghu!

What? Who talks about Jianghu these days?

Let me bring you up to date.

Chong Zhen is long dead. The Ming Dynasty collapsed centuries ago.

Why are you still chasing me?

You put my picture up everywhere, fuck you!

It is my duty as a Royal Guard. I promised the emperor I would bring you to justice!

I won't give up even if it takes me a million years!

You rile me up, "royal guard!"

Let me teach you a lesson!

You will watch as I rape and murder your girl.

Stop there, or I'll snap her neck.

Please, warrior, I'm not his girl, We're just friends!

- Just friends? - Yes.

Then no guilt in enjoying as you watch!

Wait! This is between me and you. It has nothing to do with her.

Let her go first.

Beg me, really beg me. Admit you're the weaker one.

I beg you, I beg of you. You are the stronger one.

Disgusting how you beg me like a coward.

Give me a reason, and I may consider it and let her go.

I'm losing patience. On the count of three.

I love her. I'm in love with her!

So embarrassing, you make my bones curl.

But it's hard to believe that a person like you, would be with a woman like this.

Prove it to me.

Fine. How can I prove it to you?

Drink this.

Neutralizing Seven Poisons?

Think this through carefully. You'll lose all your martial arts if you drink it.

Don't ask me why. I just dislike you following me everywhere like a ghost.

Zheng, don't drink it! He'll go back on his word!

Zheng...

"The biggest obstacle for a hero

is the love of a beautiful woman"

Pity you're not a hero but a dog!

You've given up all that you've ever worked for, for a woman no less.

And broken your promise to the emperor too.

You are less and less interesting to me.

Don't let me see you again or I'll kill you!

Let's go!

Brother, brother!

Don't call me that ever again.

- I knew you were not a man of your word. - I've never been a man of my word!

So why did you drink it?

It was my only hope...

My one chance in a million...

I did it for that one chance...

Feng San...

We've been brothers for many years.

You know my personality well.

I'd rather die than accept an insult.

So far in my life, apart from my parents...

the emperor and our master...

I've never kneeled down to anyone else.

I kneel down to you now. I beg you, let her go!

You're acting like a turd. I've lost interest in your girl.

Lowlife scum... don't let me ever set eyes on you again,

or I'll kill you!

Zheng, are you all right?

Zheng...

Polly, bandage your hand first.

Please lead a better life from now on.

There's something I have to do. I must go now.

Zheng, don't go. Zheng!

Zheng, what are you doing?

Zheng, where are you going?

Zheng, come back here!

Hey, my horse! Help! A horse thief!

Medicine is very advanced now!

There's still hope if we go to the hospital at once!

Zheng!

Zheng!

You stupid dog, using acupuncture needles to block your meridians.

If you insist on fighting me now,

the poisons will spread to you heart in a matter of hours.

And you'll bleed out of all your orifices.

Why are you doing this?

Why? Tell me why?

Only by blocking my meridians with acupuncture needles,

can I maintain my strength for another hour...

long enough for us to die together!

Come then! Come on!

Motherfucker!

Come on, come on! Run faster and pass them! Pass them all!

Come on, stupid dog!

Come on, come on...

Feng San, I thought you knew me better.

I wouldn't hesitate to sacrifice my own life,

to serve the emperor and save my beloved.

Sure, real brave, stupid dog.

Shit! What's a car doing up there?

It's stuck! I'm out of here.

Feng San, we'll die together!

You first!

Stupid dog! Take me to the emperor now!

Shit...

Where's the stupid dog?

Where is he?

Come for me baby!

Faster! Faster!

Hurry!

Zheng!

Let go of me! Zheng!

Rescue him! Quickly!

The poison is working, my time is up. Goodbye, Polly.

Zheng, the doctors in Hong Kong are excellent! They can save you!

Who is he to you?

He's my man.

Came down from the mainland?

No, from the Ming Dynasty.

What gang is he in?

Same gang as you! Police... Royal Guard... it's the same!

How did he get to this state?

His brother is a serial rapist and murderer, and... Hey! What are you doing?

Ma'am I'm asking you now for the eighth time.

Answer me seriously. Who is he to you?

No matter how many times you ask me, my answer is the same.

He's my man and he's a Royal Guard from the Ming Dynasty!

Liar!

I'm going to report you for hitting me!

I'll lick your toes clean if you can prove he's from the Ming Dynasty!

Doctor, did you find an antidote to the poison?

The seawater pumped his stomach. He should be okay.

Thank you, doctor.

But something was very strange. I conducted a cell analysis on him

and it suggested he's over 300 years old -- which means he's from the Ming Dynasty.

That machine really is off its rocker!

Well? Are you licking my toes?

Hey!

Miss, do you want to report him? I can be your witness.

I just want to see Fang Shou Zheng.

He's still in a coma. The earliest you can see him is tomorrow afternoon.

You also have to get clearance from the police.

Theoretically, no. But we police are compassionate.

We'll make an exception.

- Sir, - Hi.

Sir, what did he say?

Your hunk doesn't want to see you. Leave now.

- You're lying! - Why should I?

Hey!

That really hurts! Let me go!

Okay, another exception then.

But only for a moment.

Zheng! Zheng!

Zheng?

Zheng, did you ask the police to say you won't see me?

Stop pretending you're asleep. I know you're faking.

I don't want to see you. Leave now.

Did the seven poisons infect your brain?

I am Polly!

You used me. You've been lying to me all this time.

You pretend to be a model, but you're really a courtesan.

In other words, a hooker.

A woman like you would have been beheaded in the Ming Dynasty.

Beheaded, my ass!

I admit I was wrong. I apologize. I know it was my fault.

Won't you accept my apology?

I'll call you my boyfriend from now on.

I'll be nicer to you.

But I won't admit that you're my woman.

So why did you say you love me?

If I didn't love you, would I be willing to die for you?

But to die for love is a different matter.

I could never be with a fallen woman.

I'm a man of principle.

Can you stop this? Stop being so mean to me.

I'm already begging you. What more do you want?

I can change!

You're 100%, you're the very best,

but you have to give me a chance to grow and learn!

Powers shift, but characters remain constant.

People don't change.

Even 300 years later, I am still a Royal Guard

And Feng San is still the same maniac who rapes and murders women.

I can't suppress my feelings for a fallen woman.

But I can force myself not to see her again.

Go now.

I'm very tired and I need some rest.

Fine! Just pretend I never met you! I can't believe you're so heartless!

Get lost!

- It's you, miss. - Sorry, sorry...

- How is he today? - Got a great appetite!

A lot more alert, looks better, and his urine is less yellow.

And he said thank you for the soup!

- Does he know I made it? - No, I did as you instructed...

That he looks like my dead son, so I make him soup everyday.

- Please take it. - I shouldn't, really.

- Take it. - Thank you.

See you tomorrow. Thank you. Bye.

You've dropped everything! Let me help you.

You broke her things!

- Forget it. - Are you blind?

Sorry.

- What is it? - I just wanted to give you back the flask.

- I'm not sure if it's broken or not. - It doesn't matter.

Please take it. Take it.

- Why are you giving me so much money? - Take it.

- Do one thing for me, please. - What is it?

Thank you, sir.

I'll bring him back after the urine test.

Keep quiet! Feng San is visiting.

It's bad luck to cover your head.

Bless me, reverse that bad luck.

The Wheel of of Life and Death will be leaving China for the first time,

where it will be exhibited in Hong Kong in three months.

We're now looking at the the 2000 year old Wheel of Life and Death.

Brother Shan, here are six boxes and you've counted them already.

That's $488,000 altogether. Let's see the money.

You're buying a lot of guns. Are you starting a war?

If you're planning a robbery, count us in.

Damn you.

I've thought it through. People will always look down on me here.

Not my place. Can't win against the Hong Kong people.

My expertise in martial arts doesn't help me here.

I'll take the guns back to the Ming Dynasty,

destroy the palace,

kill the useless emperor, and crown myself emperor!

Little brothers, your history must be rewritten.

Brother Shan, that's too deep. I don't understand.

It's better that you don't.

It won't do you any good.

Any more national treasures arrived? Anything interesting?

Sure is. 150 items in total. Let me show you.

A sword, hundreds of years old, with no rust at all.

The Dragon Spring Sword?

Someone's willing to pay $4,000,000 for it.

You motherfucker. It really is Fang Shou Zheng's Dragon Spring Sword.

No wonder it broke my sword...

This sword is worth 10 million dollars. I'll have it!

OK. Give me one million tomorrow and I'll sell it to you.

You don't deserve the sword. You don't even know how to use it.

Let me show you how much it's worth.

This precious sword really doesn't stain!

What a sword!

I'll rule the Ming Dynasty! I'll rule it!

"The Wheel of Life and Death will be exhibited in Hong Kong in two months."

Life is full of coincidences.

The Wheel will be exhibited in Hong Kong.

Is this really ordained in heaven?

In two months and 17 days at midnight...

it will again be the anniversary of Buddha's enlightenment,

and the Wheel will hold supreme power.

Feng San will surely act on that day, and I shall complete my mission then.

Are you confident you'll beat him?

No.

Then why do you want to provoke him? Can you stop being so stubborn?

I can't. I promised the emperor I'd bring Feng San back to face justice.

I have to keep my word.

If I can't beat him, I'll die with him.

If I'm fortunate enough to beat him,

I'll take him back to the Ming Dynasty through the Wheel.

So you're leaving... and you won't come back again?

I don't belong here anyway.

And what about me?

- You better leave now. - Have you gone insane?

Didn't you say you love me?

Love is a different matter. I must train hard for the next two months.

And I must also make a sword with which to fight Feng San.

How can I concentrate if you're staying here?

It's better to cut things short.

As the singer Chin something Chyi said,

"In your days without me, take better care of yourself."

I don't care. I won't leave.

Fine. Then prove that you can change.

- How can I prove it? - That's up to you.

We'll see.

Bottoms up, never know when lightning will strike you dead.

I still outrank you

Hey.

Yummy?

Your Majesty, your servant has made a strong sword.

I promise you I'll defeat Feng San.

Please give me strength from heaven so that I can complete my mission.

Zheng, this bulletproof jacket is for you.

This sword belongs to you.

"Polly's Mythical Sword"? So it is mine?

How cool is that?!

There's something else. Just wait a minute.

Zheng?

Zheng!

What are you doing? The exhibition hall is closed.

"Feng San, you denigrate,

fight me on the roof if you want the black jade Buddha."

Dead fucking stupid dog.

Feng San!

You're riddled with sin, drowning in crimes.

Come back to the Ming Dynasty with me. I'll beg the emperor for mercy on your behalf.

Let go!

This is a grenade, stupid! It's going to blow!!

I'll blow you to bits!

Zheng!

Zheng!

Time to pay up, bitch.

Don't call yourself a madam if you can't pay it back.

I haven't been a madam for a long time. I work in a convenience store now.

I don't have the money to pay you back.

All I've got is $200. Do you want it? I'll give it to you.

Aren't you afraid of the acid?

It's just water.

Zheng!

You're still alive? Is this real?

This is great!

This is sexual harassment!

The End