Original subtitles

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Mamma Mia, What an Impression!

The characters in this film are fictional.

Any resemblance to actual people or events is purely coincidental.

Scopino! ("Toilet brush!")

Scopino!

Scopino!

Scopino of Urban Trash! Good morning, Scopi!

Go to work, sweep it! So early every morning?

- What? - Have you swept all the garbage yet?

- I think so, why? - Come here a sec.

Do me a favor. Come and see?

Run, run, run, run!

- Can you tell me what you want? - Are you sure you nabbed everything?

- Yes! - You see that? Look, what is it?

- I see nothing. - But how? You have it in front of you.

- What's this? A watermelon peel? - But where? - There!

Right in front of my window. Come, take two steps forward.

Not that far. You passed it. Go back a little.

Come back!

I tell you one step and you take three. Turn yourself around.

- Turn around! Like a round dance! - Turn around!

Not from there, here! In front of my window.

- Do you see it now? - But what is it?

I don't know. Looks like a watermelon rind. Look down! If you see me, you don't see it!

- This? - Yes! - Can't you see it's a melon?

- Melon? - What do you want from me? - I? Did I ask you what?

Is it my fault I took a melon from a rind early in the morning?

Is it possible that you always make us get up at dawn?

You talk to flowers, sing, and now you argue with the broom!

- When will we be able to sleep?! - Arturo, come inside! - That's enough!

That's enough! We must stop! It saps our will to live!

- More than enough! - Good morning...

Good morning, you also get started early like me?

- One, two, three and four. - One, two... And four.

Two, three, four.

- One, two, three and four. - One, two, three and four.

- One, two, three and four. - One, two, three and four.

- One, two, three and four. - One, two, three and four.

One, two, three and four.

- Good morning, Professor. - Good morning.

- Do re makes me sol si la do... - Yes, yes.

- Do re makes me just give it... - Very good. Good.

Yes, yes.

Yes, yes.

I forgot...

This story every morning!

Yes, yes!

Yes, yes!

I count the times too, professor! Do re makes me...

There are guards there!

The portcullis, mortacci!

Pull me down!

Imbeciles!

- Good morning, Don Isidoro. - You're hiding! You didn't show up.

Not even yesterday did you come to the choir. What are you doing?

- Fortune tellers. - Whatever, but an hour to rehearse, you must!

- You don't know an ending note! - I know! In four octaves!

Three! Alleluia!

Mamma Mia! Your voice always impresses me.

- Is it three? It seemed like four. - You have to come and try! Come!

- I'm coming, but I have a lot to do. - For what? What trouble are you up to?

I'm making trouble? The others foist it on me.

- Walk! Walk! - It hurts!

What are you doing? The bishop's already called me three times because of you.

- What are you doing? Don't you know? - One thing I can't tell you now.

One day I'll tell him. It's a beautiful thing like heaven.

- Leave heaven alone and come and try. - Yes, I'll come!

But now I'm busy! I have to go! Ouch! Maie me!

- I'll come, don't worry! Three times! - Don't hang around! Watch out!

- Don't worry! See you later! - Alberto!

- Don't mess it up! - See you later! Rest assured!

Eh, take it easy!

- Hi there! Stop there! - What's up?

I am, sir. Excuse the disorder. Could do me a favor...

That will cost you nothing? - Tell me.

Could you get down without leaning on the railing?

- How do I do it without leaning? - Give me your hand and I'll show you.

Come down slowly, without fear. Do you see that it's the same?

Come, fearless, down.

Mamma mia, what feet, sir. It's a problem.

How come you walk around with these feet? Can't you straighten them?

Come on down. Do you see the daisy? You'll spoil it. Come down.

Here, so, slowly. Be careful where you put your feet.

- Elena! Elena! - Slowly, slowly.

Shut up! Don't call. Who are you calling? Come down! Help me.

Get your hand off the railing!

- Come on down. - Am I going out later?

- No! What later? Help me. - Elena!

Do you see how it it's made to go down the stairs?

- Thank you very much. - You're welcome.

Mamma mia, what an impression!

- Good morning, Miss Daisy. - Good morning.

Good morning, miss.

- Tickets. - May I?

- May I? - You are welcome.

Do you have them all?

Tickets.

Sir?

- Sir? Sir? - Huh?

- Is that seat occupied? - What seat?

- Is that seat occupied? - I'm in it!

Ah, there it is. I said so... If you wanted to sit the young lady...

Sir, look a bit. If you could seat the young lady...

Do you want to sit her down?

Yes? Thank you so much. Miss Daisy?

- Would you like to sit down? - No, thanks, but I'm going down there.

- About to get off? I'll go down too. - Tickets.

- Hey! Hey! - What manners? The seat is mine!

- Miss? - Huh?

- Mind if I keep you company every morning? - No.

- Can I today at noon? - Come when you want.

And tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, the day after tomorrow...

- I can? - See you later.

- Good morning. - Good morning.

- See you later. - Good morning, Miss Daisy.

- Good morning. - Good morning. - Hi.

Good morning.

- Good morning, newsagent. - Good morning.

- What news? Thefts this morning? - Yes.

So, thefts, thefts, thefts...

Damn, how nice this is!

1,700,000 lire. Vaseilami, hair, jewels. Damn!

Colonel Pisacane, via Stamira, 24.

Thefts, thefts, thefts, thefts... There are no more.

Let's hope this is good. True, newsagent? Good morning and thank you.

- You never buy the newspaper? - No, they overwhelm me too much.

What a lion!

Colonnelio Pisacane, via Stamira, 24.

- Good morning. - Good morning.

Do I have the honor of speaking to Colonel Giovanni Pisacane?

Yes, I am.

Colonel Piscane, on the night between June 13th and June 14th, you suffered a theft.

Of the usual sundries of furs, jewels, pottery...

For a value of 1,700,000 lire? - The bar! Of course!

At your service, Colonel.

Do you have any good news?

- Great and cheerful. - Amelia!

- Please take a seat, sir. - May I? - You're welcome.

- This way. - Thank you.

You're welcome.

Say!

Did you recover the stolen goods? The wig? The jewels?

- Much more! - Have you arrested the perpetrators?

We have put them in a position to never commit that crime again!

- Really? - Yes, Mr. Colonel.

So, by an artisan I represent and who manufactures,

I will give a practical demonstration of how a theft will never be able again...

Being impervious, in the present and in the future. Do you want to follow me?

Please, come this way. Come, now I'll show you.

If I may, Mr. Colonel?

- Can't resist, Colonel. - Can't resist.

- Can't resist, Colonel. - Can't resist.

Forgive me, Mr. Colonel.

Giovanni? Get the phone.

Do you want to go out for the final test?

- Go out? - Yes, colonel. A moment.

You're welcome, Colonel.

Please open up.

Open up, please!

Hello? Colonel Pisacane? He's out for the final test.

- Good morning. - Good morning.

Mamma mia, what an impression!

I saw you suddenly and had a fright.

- Are you the colonel's wife? - Yes, but where's my husband?

- Amelia! - Where can I find an electrical outlet?

- A power outlet? - Yes, electricity. Where is it?

There.

Oh, there it is. Done! It's that simple!

Come on, even a child can do it.

- Would you like to sit down? - Yes.

I'll prove it to him. This way.

C'mon, open!

The lady must see the experiment!

- Amelia, open up! - Come on! Here, you see?

It's crushing my head!

The ear!

- Open up! - Look here, you sees this?

You lower the switch and...

Go away! Go away!

- If you take one... - Go away, criminal!

- Two are 4,000 lire. - Go away...

Or I'll have you arrested! - You are mistaken!

Go away! Go away!

Don Isidoro! Don Isidoro!

Don Isidoro!

I'm here, but I'm not here.

My son, come on, let's try the finale.

- I'm going for that thing! - Thing? - That thing!

I can't tell you now, but one day I will.

Come and work on the ending you're always messing up.

Don't worry, I know it! Doesn't it go like this?

No!

Be quiet a moment.

It's noon. I have to run! See you later!

- They got out? - Who?

- Have the girls gone out? - No.

Oh my, what a run I had.

I looked like a horse.

Sir, is she...

- Are you stupid? - I thought you wanted to play.

- Good morning! - Ciao.

- How are you? Fine? - Yes, thanks. - Me, too.

- Hi, Daisy. - Oh, hello, Arturo.

Were you also waiting for the young lady?

Sorry, Daisy, but who is this?

Yeah, you don't know each other. Alberto, Arturo.

A pleasure.

Damn, what a grip! Arturo?

I also have an uncle named Arturo. On my mom's side.

So, goodbye.

- See you later. - See you later.

How strong is this uncle of mine! He crushes your hand.

But once do you know what I did? I squeezed a nail in his hand.

What a big laugh we had!

- See you later. Will you have anything? - Thank you.

- What will you have? - Good morning.

- An aperitif? - An aperitif. Three aperitifs.

- Three aperitifs! - What are you doing? I'll handle this.

What? If the young lady wants an aperitif, I'll pay for it.

- Why? I'm paying it! - Why, if I want to pay for it?

- Because I'll pay for it. - And instead I'll pay for it!

- All right then. Pay her! - Is it an imposition?

If it is, I won't pay for it.

Am I not right? Did I not do well?

- A potato chip? - Thank you.

- A potato chip? - Thank you.

- I made a joke. - Hi, how are you?

Not bad. Have you read in the Corriere dello Sport? There is something for you.

- Yes? - On the front page. - Let me see.

Miss Daisy...

Cheers. - Cheers. Health and sons.

Miss, taking advantage of our solitude...

Finally I want to tell you what I have been thinking for a long time.

Oh, what's that?

- Everything. - What?

Do you see it? Whenever I'm standing in front of you...

My emotions are so great that I no longer find the words.

If I may, Daisy?

Camilioni, decathlon specialist.

- Pleasure. - Really pleased.

- Vincenzini, pentathlon. - Nice to meet you.

- They invited us to Ostia tomorrow. - A nice trip. Do you like the sea?

- A lot! I'd be happy to. - Long live the sea! I like it a lot!

- I like Delia Mountain more. - Come on, miss. We will spend...

a few hours among beautiful people. - We are a group of champions.

Have you seen our Arturo? Show her.

"Arturo Cremaschi will participate in the marathons...

- Ah! Best wishes! - Thank you. - Damn! Marathon Champion!

- I didn't know! Are you a champion too? - Yes.

Are you a champion, too?

- Decathlon. - Decathlon?

Decathlon!

- Arm wrestling! Great, isn't it? - Trying to kill me?

You saw that? I'm a champion, too.

First! Driver, I got there first!

- Good morning. - Excuse me, you're the puilman of the trip?

- Yeah, yeah. - Thank you very much!

One, two, three.

- Can I take a seat for a loved one? - Go ahead.

One, two, three!

What do you use for it? With a personal object?

Driver! Driver! - What do you want?

- What do you have to use? - What?

Saving a place for one person. What are you supposed to use?

- Put anything in there. - What about clothing?

Yes. One, two, three.

- Is this the tour bus? - Yes.

- Is this seat taken! - By whom? - By me.

- This is my place! - Yours? And whose others are these?

- Personal items from loved ones. - And where do I put myself?

- I don't know. You could've come earlier. - As soon as possible?

Before me! To take your place.

- But I got there first... - But who says that? It's not true!

This is the rule. Don't you know it?

It says, "Whoever arrives first can occupy as many seats as he wants..."

"Because it's his right." - But not at all!

Hey there! Stop, where are you going?

Stop! Busy! Stop!

Miss Daisy! Come!

- Stop! Where are you going? - Busy!

Come, Miss Daisy!

I've occupied the seats! Personal objects!

Have you all taken your personal items, are you happy?

- Personal items! Mine! - Thank you. Go, go.

It's mine! It's mine!

- Occupied! - Do you want to sit here, too?

- Let's go! - Let's go.

I had them taken!

Thanks a lot, miss.

Miss Daisy! Miss Daisy!

Daisy! How beautiful it is to travel! - Yes, a lot.

- Here, Daisy. - Thank you.

But this is the hour of kisses of love!

I love you, I like you, I like you, darling!

- "The Last Night I Spent with Tigo?" - Beautiful, go.

- This is very nice. - Yes, very nice.

The last night I spent with Tigo...

She kept a living fire in her heart.

The kisses that burn my mouth...

Like a cannon shot!

Like a cannon shot!

An earthquake! Demon possessed who makes the air rumble!

Did you like it, Miss Daisy? - Yes.

I know a lot of these.

Do you want to hear an American and syncopated rhythm? Take a listen.

I haven't been back to my village for twenty years.

I see it just as clear as day.

And the little square, the little church with its bell.

And there is my little house as it was then.

I feel like crying. A lighted window!

- I look and see... - Who asked for this?

A white head that makes the sock.

Grandma, grandma, rhythm!

- Go to sleep! - Granny, my granny...

You are paralyzed, but pace, pace as you wish.

Oh, granny, granny, my granny!

May you...

- Daisy? - Yes?

- I liked it. - The last night I spent with Tigo...

Anyone who doesn't eat with others is withholding.

Those who eat alone only choke.

- Sir! Excuse me sir! - What do you want?

- Offer some. Offer some. - What's that?

A sandwich. Offer it! To that young lady. Do you see her?

- And why? - How why? When you see a young lady...

you say, "Can I offer this?" - So what? I don't know her.

- She doesn't even know me. You know me? - I've never see her.

- Exactly! You don't have to offer it to me - I didn't offer it to you!

Who would want it? I wouldn't even like that stuff!

- Me, take other people's stuff... - But who wants it? What does she want?

I said it because she eats sandwiches. So if you wanted to offer it...

To the girl. Try it, if you want to offer it...

- Offer the sandwich to the lady! - Miss!

Miss! Daisy?

- Can I offer some? - Can he offer? - No thanks.

- Insist! - That's enough! What more do you want?

Me, nothing. Did I ask you something? I only said it like that.

Insist! That's the word, right? Insist, sir!

Sir, insist! What's so special in here?

- But no, sorry! - Maybe you may not like that...

But here's something else... Let's see... - But...

This isn't for me either! This chocolate! You offer it!

It's too much! Is this a gag? Was this supposed to happen right next to me?

- Rude! Idiot! - Watch your words! And take a good look...

- Go to hell! Loser! - Come on! Come on! Go on..

With these kinds of insults!

What a thug! He looked like an angry dog!

- What happened? - What do I know? Suddenly he started yelling like...

What are you eating? A sandwich? What's so special inside this bag?

Can you show me? What's so special about it?

Miss Daisy?

Won't you make a tower?

Shut up, kid! I do what I want.

The tower's necessary, otherwise it's useless to build the castle.

I don't want to do it! All right? I am master of doing what I want.

I miss doing it.

Instead, why don't you go away since I don't even know you?

- I've seen castles! They all have a tower. - Do you want me to stop?

- You wanna go? - Why? Can't I stay here?

Mamma Mia! Starting early annoying people. Get out.

- Go with your relatives! - Mom said I can stay here.

Did Mom tell you? Then go tell her I don't want you!

Get out.

Scram! Take off! Go away!

- Not bad! I start playing with him! - Mom!

Miss Daisy! I'm done with the castle! - Good boy.

Mine were twice as tall as a boy.

Oh yes? He could have done it, if he's so much better!

- Isn't it beautiful, Miss Daisy? - Very beautiful.

Would you like to live there in such a beautiful castle?

According to whom... Isn't it true, Daisy?

Daisy! The window in her bedroom, he wants it...

With a view of the sea or the mountains? - On the sea. - Yes, Daisy.

Won't you build the tower?

How else can I tell you, by singing? You have to go!

Mom said everyone's playing and I can play too...

And I can do the tower.

Here it is! Make us the tower now.

- You're happy? - Yes.

- You saw? - A shame. Why did you destroy it?

All his fault. He got on my nerves.

Are you sorry, Daisy, that I've destroyed the castle?

Maybe someday I'll have a real one, you know?

Don't you believe me? I'm going to get very rich, you know?

Then I'll have a lot of money and I'll buy a castle.

Would you like to come to my castle someday?

Will you come, Miss Daisy?

- Excuse me, sorry! - What an excuse!

Miss Daisy!

Miss Daisy!

Who are you? What do you want?

- Go away. - Miss Daisy!

Look!

Daisy! The whale!

Giorgio, pass me the ball!

Do you think you are funny? - Are you mad at me?

Miss Daisy! Come! It feels so good!

Come! I'll take you for a ride in a dinghy!

- Let's go. - No, no.

Miss Daisy, how happy I am.

My happiness is so great that I can't find the words...

to express everything about my... things.

Daisy! Look at me!

Look.

My God! Arturo! Arturo!

- Arturo! Good boy! - Look how deep I go!

Look how much I resist!

Let's go swimming offshore!

What happened? Who is it?

Alberto?

- Alberto! What was it? - It's nothing!

Miss Daisy!

- Who are you? - You're good!

- What are you doing to me? - Are you feeling better?

- Do you think you're stronger than me? - Are you feeling better?

Miss Daisy!

He thinks he's stronger than me. We'll see! You want to do...

- A Greco-Roman fight? - Oh!

- I'll let you touch your shoulders! - Oh!

Miss Daisy!

- Miss Daisy! - What happened?

Nothing! I took a dip, I went down, down...

My goodness, how many little fishes there are at the bottom.

Aren't you feeling well? - Why, miss?

You're shaking all over! Get out, it's not good to be in the water too much.

No, no! I like it a lot. You go, Miss Daisy.

I'll have some more fun and then I'll get out, too. Go, Miss Daisy.

For shame, you filth.

It'd take a fleet of guards to arrest you.

Is it even possible to witness this indecency?

Lifeguard! Lifeguard!

- What's up? - Lifeguard, help!

This guy again! Now I can drown him.

What's up?

Lifeguard...

You should do me a favor. - Favor?

There's a gift in it for you.

You should get all the people back into their cabins.

For just a moment. Then I'll give you a gift, my word.

- Get everyone back? - Yes. - Your word! And how?

- Can it be done? - For what?

I have to get out of the sea.

Can't you hear the young lady calling me?

The hen's clucking! I have to get out!

- Are you going out? - I can't, if they don't all leave. I must be alone, right?

- Alone? - Yes, why?

- How, why? - Because I'm not normal, am I?

I can see that you're not normal. If I stay here a little longer...

- Lifeguard! Help! - Go to the madhouse!

- You go there! - Goodbye, dude!

Ugly lifeguard from a shipwreck.

Couldn't he help me?

I'll have to stay in this sea until they all leave!

What a night.

- Are you happy to be here? - Yes, it was a really nice day.

What a beautiful night.

Really! Yes, yes.

I'm so happy I could break the world! Miss Daisy...

- So? - She looked like a siren coming out of the water.

She had all these shiny beads. Here, here, here, here.

All the droplets looked like many beads. One thing fantas...

- What do you want, Triangle Head? - What do you want?

You think we're saying something wrong? I'm talking about my aunt!

- Can't I hear you? - No! Think you're a close friend of mine?

You're a novice! When you're an explorer like us, you'll be able to hear it!

- As an explorer you can! - Go away with the others!

Go away! I made him feel that one.

Do you want to join me? You see it?

Beware of Triangle Head. Report everything. He's a spy!

- Sure. - I was saying, Arturo always wants to show Daisy...

Who knows how to do everything, but I'm getting better and better!

As soon as he does something, I always do it better.

- That's great! - And she always stares at me saying, "Bravo!"

And Arturo gnaws with envy!

How I dislike that.

The manger is illuminated...

by means of the comet that applies in this way...

Close it!

What weirdness are you doing? Spiritism?

- Shut the door! - Why? What happened?

What happened, Don Isidoro?

Mamma mia, what an impression! How beautiful it is!

- How beautiful! - Beautiful!

The inside of the manger lights up and the Holy Family is covered with light.

Because it's yours, I can do installments: 50,000 lire now and 50 end of year.

- Buy it! You buy it! - Take him away, otherwise I will...

Some nonsense! I can't buy! Get out, guys!

Patience. I'll go to Don Anselmo. He'll pay me that immediately.

No, no! Don't provoke me with Don Anseimo! Who'll give me 100,000 lire?

What do I know?

Excuse me.

A creche like this in installments. 50,000 immediately! Where do you find it?

Watch out for the star. It's the highlight of the creche.

Guys! Here we go! Up!

Let's try the choir.

- I have to go! - So get out.

- I'm late. I can't stay. - Go! Go!

Wait, don't go away yet. You can leave it here until tomorrow.

I want to think about it.

- What are you doing there? - What are you?

I'll do what I like. Do I have to tell you?

I know what you do. Putting on the uniform! You can't go out of order!

I know what to do! I'm an explorer! I always know...

what can and what can't be done. - I'll tell Don Isidoro!

- Where are you going? Come here! - Ouch! Oh God!

Where are you going? I'll tear off your nipples! Ugly spy!

The devil takes away no-good spies!

- Venom-squirting demon! - Spy, go sit on a lamppost!

Flag holder, one hundred years in jail!

- Jinx, take it home! Jinx! - Tie, take it home! Tie!

- 20! 30! 40! 50! 60! - Tie! Tie! Tie!

120! 135! 160! Spy, spy, lamppost squatter!

Venom-squirting demon!

Flag holder, one hundred years in jail! Tie! 178! 179! 190!

Tie! Take it all home! Stuck on you!

Ugly spy, you're nothing else!

I'll show you the...

If I don't wear a uniform.

- Oh, it's you. - Yes, Miss Daisy, do you see me?

- I see you. Are you in uniform? - Explorer! Of the parish...

run by Don Isidoro. - Good boy, good boy.

- Can I accompany you? May I? - Yes, gladly.

Thank you, Miss Daisy.

And you may rest assured that nothing will happen when you walk next to an explorer.

What do you think would happen to me?

Many things can happen. An explorer says so.

Off, children!

Come on, Cremaschi.

You see, our task is to understand what is happening around us at all times.

And, in case of need, intervene immediately.

Sst! Coupons! Stay good!

For example, to counsel the afflicted, to help the weak...

May I, Miss Daisy?

Please, a nice walk?

See this stern look of mine? I saw you! Did you think you were getting away with it?

- What do you want? What're you looking for? - Are not you ashamed?

I'll show that you are nothing but a bully. Whipping your faithful coworker buddy!

I saw you how you whipped him!

Miss Daisy! Go away, you fool.

Watch your words and see who you're tangling with! Understand?

- What are you looking for? Get out! - You think you impress me...

with your whip? Do you know all the moves for self-defense?

Don't you know that the helpless always wins? Isn't that right, sir?

- The helpless always wins. - What do I know?

Of course it does! And in an instant I'll give you proof!

Ready for the attack! Hooked hands...

Claw for the grip! One!

Go die somewhere else.

Ouch! Are you crazy? You hit me on the head!

It hurts my head so much! I keep it like an oracle...

Under a glass dome... - Go away!

You see, sir, where did you give it to me?

Right in the middle of the head!

Mamma mia, what a thug! Miss Margheri...

Miss Daisy! Miss Daisy!

Miss Daisy!

Miss Daisy! Miss Daisy!

Did you see that thug? He hit me on the head! What a jerk!

I already had my hands hooked to craft for...

Arturo! What's he doing dressed like that? Isn't he ashamed to walk around?

Please! Shut up!

- I'm laughing at the way he's dressed. - Goodbye, Arturo.

- Then see you on Sunday. - Yes, you will. Good luck to the wolf.

Let's hope in the lion's mouth, so he eats it and doesn't talk about it anymore.

Let's go! - I got it?

Come on, Arturo, let's go! - See you later.

If I may? I'd like to talk to you.

- To me? - Yeah, I still have to tell you that thing.

- Remember? - Goodbye, miss!

Goodbye! Goodbye, Alberto.

But I... Miss Daisy!

Miss Daisy! Miss Daisy!

Wanna leave now? What are you doing here?

I came for Miss Daisy. Why not? I've known her for a long time!

Now pretend you never met her. And don't come around anymore.

- What is she? An imposition? - A gem!

Who are you? Her father? I don't take advice from others.

- You must take it from me. - No! Not for anything!

- Accept it! - I don't want to accept!

- Take it! - No!

- I'll show you it. - And take it!

No, thanks, I can't.

Miss Daisy! See what he's doing to me?

Calling for help? Too bad! Give me the flower!

Jinx! Get the flower now if you can!

Miss Daisy? Did you see how well I did?

Dimwit! Clown! You don't realize who you're dealing with!

Look! Come here! Look who I am!

No! - Look who Arturo Cremaschi is!

Buffoon.

I have a reputation...

And you are a poor wretch. - Here we go!

But we'll meet again.

- Goodbye, Daisy. Till Sunday! - Till Sunday!

Even the button fell off. Happy now?

100,000 lire as a prize!

- May I come in? - No!

- May I come in? - No!

May I?

- May I? - No!

- Instead, yes! - No!

It's not right! Everyone comes in and I don't!

- No! - Instead I enter!

- No! - Instead Yes! - No!

- Yes! - Halt!

What's up, huh? What are you, huh?

- Huh? I have to sign up for the Marathon! - Marathon? Marathon? Go to hell!

- You go there! - No! - Yes! - No!

- Yes! - No! - Yes! - No!

- Yes! - No! - Yes! - No!

No! No! - What are you doing?

- Where do you register for the marathon? - Over there.

No!

- No! - Pay attention!

No!

No!

- Good! You hurt yourself! - What do you want?

- What are you doing? - Damn!

Too bad for you! Are you hurt bad? Hold on.

Sir, you have to sign me up for the Rome Marathon.

- Five and two... - You have to sign me up.

For the marathon. - Five and two, seven, and one...

- Will you sign me up? - Can't you see I'm working? Hold on!

Yes, sir, go ahead.

Since I have to sign up for the marathon...

I know you have to sign up. Wait a moment!

Exactly, go ahead. As long as you know I have to sign up!

- Ugh! - What do you want here?

I have to sign up for the Marathon. I am from the Muscular Youth...

Of the parish church of Don Isidoro. - Come on, sign up and finish the accounts.

I have to sign up.

- Sign here and give me 5,150 lire! - What're you saying? I don't understand.

Mister, should I give him 5,150 lire? Sir! This man's abusing me.

- What's going on here today? - If that doesn't go away, I'll go crazy!

He must be really crazy! Does he know that he asked me for 5,150 lire?

- Accountant, the fee! - Ah, of course! For registration!

- Should I give you 5,150 lire? - Of course. The registration fee, see here.

"Prizes: 100,000 lire to the first place winner and a cup to the winning company.

- Look, look! - I'm looking. 5,150 lire...

Can you lend it to me, on account of the 10,000 that I have to win?

- Go away. Good evening. - My honor, I don't have 5,150 lire!

- And you want it from me? - But did I ask you?

I told the gentleman clearly if he wanted me to panic...

- I don't have it. Can't you lend it to me? - No! No!

- Absolutely not? - Go away. Good evening.

- Good evening. Thanks a lot anyway. - But... - The registration forms...

- Not really, accountant? - No!

Who is it?

Don Isidoro! Don Isidoro!

- Who is it? - Friends, good friends!

- Who? - It's me! Don't you recognize me?

Oh, Madonna! Even at night! But what does this thing want now?

- What's happening? What do you want? - There's no time to lose!

- We only have until midnight! - To do what?

- The marathon! - What is it?

You were born to wear that shirt! And what a long shirt!

Well, my son, what have you come to do at this hour?

I found 10,000 lire to buy the creche.

Oh, God, explain yourself. What do you mean with all this?

You give me 5,150 lire, I do the marathon, I win the 100,000...

- What are you saying? - Give me 5,150 lire, I do the marathon...

I understand, I understand. But who would give you 5,150 lire?

You, Don Isidoro. Maybe you don't want to buy the creche?

- I didn't know you didn't want it. - But what does the nativity scene have to do with it...

At this time? - How? Did I make the adjustments?

That's it. This is the regulation they gave me.

- Don Isidoro? - Huh?

Here, you see? Everything is written here.

5,150 lire. 100,000 lire... Do you see it?

Oh, God! What other trouble have you been up to now?

You always mix me up with something. Better to lose you than to find you.

- Look what was supposed to happen to me! - Providence is sending me.

If I didn't know Miss Daisy, I wouldn't do the marathon.

If I didn't do the marathon, I wouldn't get the 10,000 lire.

Why Arturo does the marathon...

He also tore the button off me!

If I don't do the marathon...

- Is this 2,000 not enough for you? - It takes 5,150 lire.

Don't be afraid, the treasurer has it!

- Are you sure? - We all know at the parish. It's full of money.

She always puts it aside. She's stingy!

- Are you sure you will win? - Look!

See that, Don Isidoro?

- St. Anthony Benedict... - Don Isidoro?

The knocker! Yes, yes!

Don Isidoro, knock the knock!

- 2,000. - No, Don Isidoro, knock.

- Agn... - Easy! Be careful.

She has a weak heart.

Agnes... Agnes...

- Agnes! - Harder!

No, she has a weak heart. Plan instead. Plan!

A mosquito, Don Isidoro! Wake up right away, I know.

A bluebottle! One of those new flies. She'll wake up immediately.

Here, she's waking up.

A carpet bombing!

Here it is! She woke up!

Good, Agnes, it's nothing!

Tell you Sunday, Don Isidoro.

- I tr... - Triumph!

- Go! I'll give it to you on Sunday. - I couldn't have, but Don Anseimo...

Shut up with Don Anseimo! Don't name me!

- If you lose, how do we pay for it? - How's that? The 100,000 is ours!

Don't worry, I'm sure to win the marathon!

Can't you see me? I run like lightning! Look, Don Isidoro!

Don Isidoro! Don Isidoro!

Don Isidoro! You scared me! You died? Don Isidoro!

Don Isidoro! Don Isidoro!

Has he had a sunstroke? A stroke, Don Isidoro?

What an apoplexy! You made me go lightheaded! Straighten your feet!

- You walk like a waiter. - It's the perfect runner style.

- Are you hurt? - No, no, what hurt? I'm fine.

- Not for bad faith, but you must sign this pledge. - What's this?

The commitment that the creche is sold and I don't think about it anymore.

"I will pay for this bill... Ah, is it a bill?

- A commitment, a formality. - Yes, yes, the pledge!

Let's go, Don Isidoro!

Do you see Triangle Head? Come on.

Compagnucci, don't tell Triangle Head that I'm doing the marathon.

Nobody must know I'm a runner!

- It must be a surprise. - What are you doing?

- Nothing! Playing on our own. Are you well? - Let's play! Can't that be done?

And yours. Then see you on Sunday. I am a precise man!

- Okay, son. - Come on, Don Isidoro!

With this I've just sent people to jail.

You did well, son!

I... - Triumph!

Let's go, Don Isidoro!

- I tr... - Triumph!

Attention! All competitors are requested.

To gather as a group at the jury! Accounts...

Cremaschi, come to the table Delia signs.

At this moment, Arturo Cremaschi's arriving.

> Arturo Cremaschi introduces himself to the signature tables.

Runners in line. Gather up, in line.

- Caravan in tow take a seat... - In line!

- So, Daisy? - Yes, Arturo?

- Daisy! - Arturo!

- Go and win. - I'll win.

My boys.

Good morning, gentlemen. Where do I sign?

- Who is he? - What's up? Why the mask?

I am a runner. In this race, of which I will be the sure winner...

I want to remain unknown. Okay? - Not at all!

Take off the mask! Don't be a fool!

- Go away! Go away! - Watch your words! Mind you...

Who are you talking to! I got it? - Here we go! Here we go!

I am! Do you see? Are you happy? I'm just that!

Miss Daisy! See me? It's me! Don Isidoro!

- Yes, dear boy. - Miss Daisy!

Don Isidoro! Miss Daisy!

- All right! All in line! - Come on, Arturo! Good luck!

Don Isidoro, Miss Daisy... Here I go.

- Ready? - Wait a minute, sorry.

- What are you doing here? - You weren't expecting that, huh?

Are you ready? One! Two!

One moment! They touched me! Here at the side!

Don't you know the regulations? What a gathering!

In elbow contact, you have to stay!

- Ready? One... - One moment! - What is it?

In this race do we want to be legal or not?

Come here!

You see him? Do you see where his foot is?

Enough! How can anyone put up with this person?

Be careful, guys! Okay!

- Here we go! Shut up! - This is incredible!

I'll show you it!

- Ready? One... - Mamma mia, what an impression!

Stop! Stop! Has he gone mad? What do you want to do? Shoot me?

- It's a blank gun! - And that's why he thinks it's so funny?

I would have liked to see him in the war! He was dying of fear!

I've been in three wars! Four! Six campaigns! Three medals!

Five decorations! I am a war retiree!

- Is there any news of pensions? - Nothing new!

That's enough! Who sent it to us?

He tells me I'm afraid! Are you ready? One...

Don Isidoro!

- Remember, 172! Arrival first! - Alberto! - Arturo!

Don Isidoro!

Goodbye, comrades!

Cremaschi! Go, Arturo!

Over! Step!

Coming by!

Proceed to the right! Be bears! Dominate us! Stretch!

- No! - Look at that!

Bibitaro! Bibitaro! A nice cool drink!

Come on! Hurry up! I can't wait for you!

Are you doing great today? What's this? It's good? Is it tasty?

Mamma mia, how hot it is! Keep 'em cool, these drinks!

But look... Goodbye!

- What are you doing? - Where have you been? Where were you?

- Haven't they kicked you out yet? - Why should they?

Are you afraid of me? I run like lightning! I'll show you!

Miss Daisy will see who'll win!

We'll see!

- I'll show you! - Maximum time!

- I'll show you! - Time, time!

The young lady will see...

- Ah! You hurt me! - Sorry!

- What an excuse! - It's Arturo who...

- What an excuse! - Sorry! I didn't do it on purpose!

- When someone says sorry it's sorry! - Sorry!

I made an apology and all is forgiven. It's true?

- He apologized! Cut it out! - Yeah! If one apologizes...

Breaks your head! Then hold on!

- The runners 281... - I triumphed over him!

I triumphed over him! I triumphed over him!

- 172! - Don't jump or I disqualify you!

You can't jump! - I didn't know!

- I used to make a saitino for... - You can't jump!

Don't know the rules? There it is! "Marathon runners are prohibited...

To break the step of his stride, with a first warning from the judge..."

- Who's the judge? - Me.

- Commander Jacoponi? Pleasure! - Pleasure! Immediately following...

Removal of the marathon runner... But what are you doing on the car?

- Get off immediately! - I'm possessed!

The marathon runners are at the first finish line.

First round! First round! Arturo Cremaschi is in the lead...

Good boy! Bravo, Alberto!

Don Isidoro! Miss Daisy!

- Pleasure. - Go, Alberto!

Yes, like lightning!

I did that well.

Cremaschi! Save your strength!

Bibitaro! Bibitaro!

Have you put them in the cooler for when I get overheated?

Imbecile! I'll throw them at your head!

Traffic warden! We are the marathon...

- We have to pass! - Stop! Halt!

- It's not my fault. This idiot... - Be careful!

- I'm a marathon runner! We must pass! - It's the second time!

I am a marathoner! Are you happy now?

The previous ones have passed and they have not!

- I have to go to the Foro Italico! How do I go there? - 137, Column!

- Are you going to the Foro Italico? - Yes. - Thanks so much!

137!

- Bigiletto! - Marathon run! - All right.

May I? Excuse me, driver...

Could you stop where I say it? I'm from the marathon, 172...

Arrival first. Go ahead, I'll tell you when...

Don't worry. Run, run!

Run strong! I tell you when you have to stop.

Here, do you see these? They aren't the ones. Further on. Run!

Run, run! Fly, I say, don't worry!

Here, these! A little further on. Quickly!

Here, stop! Stop, driver!

- Stop! I have to go down! Thanks a lot! - What a weirdo.

Bravo, Cremaschi!

It's the last lap...

- Don Isidoro! - Bravo, Alberto! - Arturo!

Don Isidoro!

- Go, Alberto! - Yes, like lightning!

I triumphed over him! I triumphed over him!

Don Isidoro, look who's come. And there's also this.

And now, what do we do? Do you prefer to pay me or the usher?

What is it, the notice of the bill of exchange? Did you tell him I was here?

Yes, good! Schmuck.

What did he think? I wouldn't pay?

We will pay because we will win.

Attention! Third round! Third and penultimate lap!

Arturo Cremaschi's in the lead! He comes pulling the group...

Which precedes the bulk of 1'15 ". - Bravo!

Attention! There is no more news of a group of 20 runners.

Where is he? There's no Alberto!

Don Alberto!

May I, excuse me.

Excuse me.

- Guys, where's Alberto? - Alberto's gone!

- How is he gone? - He's not there!

Where did he go? Give me the bike!

Come on, he must be somewhere. I'll find him.

Don Alberto!

Don Alberto! Hop on! Come on!

You have to win! The bill!

- Run! Run! Pedal! Harder! - Yes! Yes!

- More, more! - Alberto! I'm afraid the brake's broken!

The brake! Get up! Don Isidoro, make like a siren!

Don Isidoro! Runners!

Runners! Here they are! All together!

- Runners! Here we are! - One, two! One two!

One, two! One two! One two! One two!

- Come on, Don Isidoro! - One, two! One two!

One, two! One two! One two! One two!

- We're first, Arturo isn't there either. - We won!

Guys, Alberto's coming!

What a beautiful job!

I did it right!

It's the finale of this exciting marathon.

Arturo Cremaschi's in the lead.

With a cannon shot!

Even that was beautiful.

Look at that!

Miss Daisy!

Don Isidoro!

Attention! The race is canceled!

I'm ruined!

- My Arturo! - They ruined me!

- You're always great for me! - Really?

It didn't happen with Don Anselmo...

Because he pays. But you'll pay, too!

Don Isidoro!

- Don Isido... - Go away, you!

- Don Isidoro, don't you recognize me? - Go away!

- Don Isidoro! It's me! - Stand still!

- It was all a pitfall! - Don't argue!

What a fool! Signing a bill like this and listening to a twit.

- Cretin. I had to know. - I have a great idea!

Choking me, that's a mortal sin!

My God, forgive me!

- What did you want to do? Kill me? - Forgive me.

Word of honor, it's a great invention!

A young craftsman I represent invented a system.

It's called a "lucky pat."

It's a foolproof method to win at card games.

- Do You hear him? - We will become millionaires!

Other than 100,000 lire! - Do You hear him, my God?

When we're millionaires, you'll pay for the nativity scene...

We'll do many things for the parishioners...

And I'll also buy a castle...

Scopino! Scopino of the Urban Cleanup!

Good morning, Scopi!

- Come here a sec! - Mamma mia, here he goes again!

Hard work, Scopi! So early every morning?

THE END