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1
00:00:04,921 --> 00:00:07,173
[upbeat music]
2
00:00:07,173 --> 00:00:09,175
Quick, it's an emergency!
3
00:00:09,175 --> 00:00:10,677
Oh, my God!
What's wrong with Churro?
4
00:00:10,677 --> 00:00:13,221
She ate my beer money.
5
00:00:13,221 --> 00:00:14,973
She'll be fine.
There's not much we can do.
6
00:00:14,973 --> 00:00:16,057
Sure there is.
7
00:00:16,057 --> 00:00:17,392
You can give me
some beer money.
8
00:00:22,230 --> 00:00:24,024
Who is that?
9
00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:26,443
You have a man.
Don't be greedy.
10
00:00:27,652 --> 00:00:30,530
This is Dr. Bell,
an avian specialist.
11
00:00:30,530 --> 00:00:32,449
[British accent] I usually
just say "bird doctor."
12
00:00:32,449 --> 00:00:34,868
The accent's
pretentious enough.
13
00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:37,078
He's gonna be working
out of our office this week
14
00:00:37,078 --> 00:00:39,247
while he preps for BirdCon.
15
00:00:39,247 --> 00:00:41,624
Oh, bird con!
I've pulled that one.
16
00:00:41,624 --> 00:00:42,667
Is that where you get
a dead pigeon,
17
00:00:42,667 --> 00:00:44,085
you put it in a bucket
of KFC,
18
00:00:44,085 --> 00:00:46,796
and then you get
all your meals for free?
19
00:00:46,796 --> 00:00:48,381
No.
That's horrible.
20
00:00:48,923 --> 00:00:52,093
BirdCon is like Comic-Con,
but instead of regular nerds,
21
00:00:52,093 --> 00:00:53,720
it's bird nerds.
22
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:55,847
Wait, wait a minute.
So you look like that,
23
00:00:55,847 --> 00:00:58,433
and all the patients
you see naked are birds?
24
00:01:02,020 --> 00:01:04,022
Well, if there's anything
you need while you're here,
25
00:01:04,022 --> 00:01:05,523
I'm your girl.
26
00:01:05,523 --> 00:01:07,067
I mean, I'm not your girl.
27
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:08,610
I'm a girl.
Well, not girl.
28
00:01:08,610 --> 00:01:10,487
I'm a woman,
and you're a man.
29
00:01:10,487 --> 00:01:12,614
And this is a dog
who needs laxatives.
30
00:01:18,203 --> 00:01:19,245
What?
31
00:01:19,245 --> 00:01:20,747
Don't "what" us.
32
00:01:20,747 --> 00:01:24,125
You were flirting
with that sexy bird freak.
33
00:01:25,710 --> 00:01:26,753
No, I wasn't.
34
00:01:26,753 --> 00:01:28,254
Girl, please.
35
00:01:28,672 --> 00:01:30,715
You were all like,
"I'm a woman. You're a man.
36
00:01:30,715 --> 00:01:32,759
You like birds.
I like kisses."
37
00:01:32,759 --> 00:01:34,594
[makes kissing noises]
38
00:01:34,594 --> 00:01:37,389
"If there's anything
you need, like sex..."
39
00:01:37,389 --> 00:01:39,432
[laughs]
Ew, wait a minute.
40
00:01:39,432 --> 00:01:41,434
We're talking
about my daughter, ew.
41
00:01:42,477 --> 00:01:45,605
[upbeat saxophone music]
42
00:01:45,605 --> 00:01:52,570
♪ ♪
43
00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:01,579
{\an8}Look, Mom!
Churro made me a dollar.
44
00:02:02,997 --> 00:02:04,541
{\an8}That's it?
45
00:02:04,541 --> 00:02:06,668
{\an8}You gotta squeeze her
till five more bucks come out.
46
00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:10,255
{\an8}Oh, God.
47
00:02:10,255 --> 00:02:12,048
{\an8}Quinten, can you take
Chance to wash up,
48
00:02:12,048 --> 00:02:13,925
{\an8}somewhere far
from where we eat?
49
00:02:13,925 --> 00:02:15,844
{\an8}On it.
50
00:02:15,844 --> 00:02:17,679
{\an8}And launder my money!
51
00:02:23,309 --> 00:02:25,437
{\an8}Sexting Dr. Bell, cochina?
52
00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:29,607
{\an8}No.
It's just work stuff.
53
00:02:29,607 --> 00:02:31,151
{\an8}He needs help
with his social media.
54
00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:33,528
{\an8}Can you believe a bird guy
doesn't know how to tweet?
55
00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:38,199
{\an8}Oh, that's so funny.
Oh, I should text him that.
56
00:02:38,199 --> 00:02:40,160
{\an8}It always starts off
as work stuff,
57
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:42,996
{\an8}and then, they're all
you can think about, and boom!
58
00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:45,165
{\an8}You're driving to Tijuana
in the middle of the night
59
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:47,417
{\an8}for penicillin and itch cream.
60
00:02:49,711 --> 00:02:51,338
{\an8}I would never cheat
on Quinten.
61
00:02:52,297 --> 00:02:54,174
{\an8}I wouldn't be so sure, Mayan.
62
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:56,551
{\an8}Cheating is in our blood.
63
00:02:56,551 --> 00:02:59,637
{\an8}I think it's time
I told you about the legend
64
00:02:59,637 --> 00:03:01,264
{\an8}of our ancestor,
65
00:03:01,264 --> 00:03:03,350
{\an8}Tonto Tecate-Cán.
66
00:03:04,851 --> 00:03:06,603
{\an8}He was a charming,
67
00:03:06,603 --> 00:03:10,315
{\an8}irresistible,
handsome Aztec king.
68
00:03:10,315 --> 00:03:12,525
{\an8}[upbeat drum music]
69
00:03:12,525 --> 00:03:15,403
{\an8}He had a taste
for the finer things in life:
70
00:03:15,403 --> 00:03:17,322
Gold jewelry
71
00:03:17,322 --> 00:03:21,409
great food,
and gorgeous women.
72
00:03:21,409 --> 00:03:23,536
Unfortunately,
73
00:03:23,536 --> 00:03:25,914
one of those women
was his wife.
74
00:03:25,914 --> 00:03:27,874
You!
75
00:03:27,874 --> 00:03:29,459
Tonto Tecate-Cán.
76
00:03:29,459 --> 00:03:31,670
I know
you've been cheating on me.
77
00:03:31,670 --> 00:03:34,381
I'm going to ask the gods
for a divorce
78
00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:39,010
and take everything you own.
79
00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:42,389
Well, buckle up, bruja,
80
00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:44,724
because I have
the best lawyers.
81
00:03:44,724 --> 00:03:46,226
Lawyers!
82
00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:47,894
Throw her in the volcano!
83
00:03:47,894 --> 00:03:49,979
Oh! No!
84
00:03:49,979 --> 00:03:52,774
I curse you, Tonto!
85
00:03:52,774 --> 00:03:54,025
You're a cheater,
86
00:03:54,025 --> 00:03:57,070
and all your descendants
will be cheaters too!
87
00:03:57,070 --> 00:03:58,863
[wails]
88
00:04:00,281 --> 00:04:01,741
Why do I care?
89
00:04:03,952 --> 00:04:06,746
Wait, if Tonto Tecate-Cán
was the one who cheated,
90
00:04:06,746 --> 00:04:08,915
then why did his wife
get thrown into the volcano?
91
00:04:08,915 --> 00:04:10,917
Women weren't treated
with respect, Mayan,
92
00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:12,627
like they are today.
93
00:04:12,627 --> 00:04:14,504
Now shut up and let me finish.
94
00:04:16,756 --> 00:04:20,343
The point of the story
is that you're cursed,
95
00:04:20,343 --> 00:04:23,430
so you have to avoid
any temptations.
96
00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:26,433
I love Quinten,
and I would never cheat.
97
00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:28,226
I'm not like
Tonto Tecate-Cán...
98
00:04:28,226 --> 00:04:29,436
both: Or you.
99
00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:31,688
Stop it!
Ta loca.
100
00:04:31,688 --> 00:04:35,400
[upbeat saxophone music]
101
00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:37,610
[knock at door]
102
00:04:38,445 --> 00:04:39,988
- Welcome.
- Hi.
103
00:04:39,988 --> 00:04:41,322
- Rosie Flores?
- Mm-hmm.
104
00:04:41,322 --> 00:04:43,366
I called about the basic
life insurance policy.
105
00:04:43,366 --> 00:04:45,243
You said you take
non-basic walk-ins?
106
00:04:45,243 --> 00:04:47,912
I do. [laughs]
107
00:04:47,912 --> 00:04:51,416
Ooh, love the dress.
108
00:04:51,416 --> 00:04:52,792
If we were on a safari,
109
00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:54,711
everybody would be looking
at us.
110
00:04:54,711 --> 00:04:56,546
both: Ow!
111
00:04:56,546 --> 00:04:59,215
Oh, let's get started.
112
00:04:59,215 --> 00:05:01,676
So what is your date of birth?
113
00:05:01,676 --> 00:05:04,637
Uh, just put down,
"After Gloria, before Shakira."
114
00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:07,474
We share a birthday.
115
00:05:09,934 --> 00:05:12,979
Okay, what is
your full legal name?
116
00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:14,481
It's Beatrice Perez,
117
00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:16,649
but everyone calls me Bunny.
118
00:05:16,649 --> 00:05:19,569
Oh, Bunny Perez.
That is funny.
119
00:05:19,569 --> 00:05:21,613
You have the same exact name
120
00:05:21,613 --> 00:05:23,782
as the skank
my ex cheated with.
121
00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:27,118
And the same face...
122
00:05:27,118 --> 00:05:28,578
and the same body...
123
00:05:28,578 --> 00:05:30,080
and the same butterfly tattoo
on my lower back.
124
00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:31,998
Ay-yi-yi-yi!
125
00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:33,667
No!
126
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,669
But if you're here,
who's hosting
127
00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:37,545
the hoochie convention
in Vegas?
128
00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:39,673
It's called
the Stripper Summit.
129
00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:42,008
It's next month in Park City.
130
00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:43,551
Oh, you're being mean.
131
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:45,637
You have some nerve!
132
00:05:45,637 --> 00:05:47,389
I know this is awkward.
133
00:05:48,223 --> 00:05:49,432
[sighs]
134
00:05:49,432 --> 00:05:51,267
I'm in AA now,
135
00:05:51,267 --> 00:05:53,978
taking it one day at a time,
136
00:05:53,978 --> 00:05:55,689
and one of the steps
is apologizing
137
00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:57,774
to people that I've hurt.
138
00:05:57,774 --> 00:05:59,776
So I'm here to say I'm sorry.
139
00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:02,696
I'm sorry, too,
140
00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:04,197
that you thought
you could buy my forgiveness
141
00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:06,408
with a basic insurance policy.
142
00:06:06,408 --> 00:06:07,575
You could've at least gone
143
00:06:07,575 --> 00:06:09,577
for the platinum
medallion package.
144
00:06:10,578 --> 00:06:12,330
I know I lied.
145
00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:14,958
I didn't think you'd see me
if you knew who I really was.
146
00:06:17,293 --> 00:06:18,837
You're right.
147
00:06:19,754 --> 00:06:20,755
Get out.
148
00:06:24,884 --> 00:06:28,680
But first, initial here,
here, and here.
149
00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:33,143
[upbeat saxophone music]
150
00:06:33,768 --> 00:06:36,229
Mayan, great job
clipping those feathers.
151
00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:37,814
Oh, thanks, Dr. Bell.
152
00:06:37,814 --> 00:06:40,191
I got a lot of practice
clipping my dad's back hair.
153
00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:44,404
Dr. Pocha never lets me
do this.
154
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,322
Well, I like the people
under me
155
00:06:46,322 --> 00:06:47,741
to get their hands dirty.
156
00:06:50,452 --> 00:06:53,413
Do you like
to get your hands...
157
00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:56,041
dirty?
158
00:06:56,041 --> 00:06:57,792
Oh, wow.
159
00:07:00,378 --> 00:07:01,921
I'm sorry, Dr. Bell,
160
00:07:01,921 --> 00:07:04,174
but I'm
in a committed relationship.
161
00:07:04,174 --> 00:07:05,759
Well, I don't see a ring.
162
00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:07,177
Well, I'm not
technically married.
163
00:07:07,177 --> 00:07:09,471
Well, then it's not
technically cheating.
164
00:07:10,472 --> 00:07:12,766
I guess not technically.
165
00:07:17,687 --> 00:07:20,648
[serene music]
166
00:07:20,648 --> 00:07:23,109
♪ ♪
167
00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:24,694
Oof!
168
00:07:24,694 --> 00:07:26,821
[spitting and retching]
169
00:07:28,490 --> 00:07:30,325
- Oh, God.
- What's wrong?
170
00:07:30,992 --> 00:07:33,495
Did you eat your pillow
in your sleep?
171
00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:36,956
Babe, your teeth grinding
is getting out of control.
172
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:40,960
Uh, yeah, I guess
I just lost my night guard.
173
00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:43,713
[sighs]
Just wear mine.
174
00:07:44,881 --> 00:07:47,967
[upbeat saxophone music]
175
00:07:52,263 --> 00:07:53,848
[upbeat saxophone music]
176
00:07:53,848 --> 00:07:55,308
Have you seen Mayan?
177
00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:57,227
No, but I'm available,
178
00:07:57,227 --> 00:08:00,689
now, after work,
and for the rest of my life.
179
00:08:01,898 --> 00:08:04,109
Just let me know
when you see Mayan.
180
00:08:05,193 --> 00:08:07,153
Is he gone?
181
00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:09,572
Why were you hiding
from him?
182
00:08:09,572 --> 00:08:10,990
Are you playing hard to get?
183
00:08:10,990 --> 00:08:14,619
Damn, why didn't I think
of that?
184
00:08:14,619 --> 00:08:17,455
I had a dream
about Dr. Bell.
185
00:08:17,455 --> 00:08:18,707
[whispering] A sex dream.
186
00:08:18,707 --> 00:08:20,625
Ooh, dish.
Tell me everything,
187
00:08:20,625 --> 00:08:22,043
but whenever you're
gonna say "Mayan,"
188
00:08:22,043 --> 00:08:23,086
say "Brookie."
189
00:08:24,587 --> 00:08:25,964
We kissed.
190
00:08:25,964 --> 00:08:27,507
And?
191
00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:29,676
On the lips!
192
00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:31,219
Ew, that's not a sex dream.
193
00:08:31,219 --> 00:08:33,596
That's an episode of
"Suite Life of Zack and Cody."
194
00:08:34,597 --> 00:08:36,016
You don't get it.
195
00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:38,309
I'm clearly attracted
to another man,
196
00:08:38,309 --> 00:08:40,895
and my dad says
that I have cheater DNA in me.
197
00:08:40,895 --> 00:08:42,355
Well, as long
as you don't have
198
00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:44,107
anyone else's DNA in you,
199
00:08:44,107 --> 00:08:45,108
you're fine.
200
00:08:46,985 --> 00:08:48,570
There you are, Mayan!
201
00:08:48,570 --> 00:08:51,614
Since you seemed so interested
in my body of work...
202
00:08:51,614 --> 00:08:53,283
She is.
203
00:08:53,283 --> 00:08:55,785
I asked Dr. Pocha
if you can assist me
204
00:08:55,785 --> 00:08:57,120
at my BirdCon booth.
205
00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:58,747
And I said yes!
206
00:08:58,747 --> 00:09:00,248
Have fun, you two.
207
00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:03,626
It's gonna be
an all-weekend flock fest.
208
00:09:05,962 --> 00:09:08,590
What?
It's on the flyer.
209
00:09:08,590 --> 00:09:11,551
[upbeat saxophone music]
210
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:13,636
♪ ♪
211
00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:17,640
I'm here, and I'm mad.
212
00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:19,768
You're here, and I'm leaving.
213
00:09:19,768 --> 00:09:22,687
An old friend of yours
came by today.
214
00:09:22,687 --> 00:09:24,522
Bunny Perez.
215
00:09:24,522 --> 00:09:25,732
Bunny?
216
00:09:25,732 --> 00:09:27,984
She's not an old friend, Rosie.
217
00:09:27,984 --> 00:09:30,320
She's just somebody
that I had an affair with.
218
00:09:31,696 --> 00:09:32,989
What is she doing here?
219
00:09:32,989 --> 00:09:35,575
She had the nerve
to try to apologize to me.
220
00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:38,953
I'll never forgive that sucia.
221
00:09:38,953 --> 00:09:40,789
Even though the policy
that she bought
222
00:09:40,789 --> 00:09:42,457
is going to pay
for my timeshare
223
00:09:42,457 --> 00:09:44,501
in Puerto Vallarta.
224
00:09:44,501 --> 00:09:47,128
Watch out, Rosie, okay,
because Bunny's crazy.
225
00:09:47,128 --> 00:09:49,214
As soon as she found out
I was married,
226
00:09:49,214 --> 00:09:51,424
she set my moving truck
on fire,
227
00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:53,176
and worse, I know it was her
228
00:09:53,176 --> 00:09:55,053
that signed me up
for jury duty.
229
00:09:56,805 --> 00:09:59,641
Wait, Bunny didn't know
you were married?
230
00:09:59,641 --> 00:10:02,977
Um... may I?
231
00:10:02,977 --> 00:10:04,896
You see, Rosie,
when a man cheats,
232
00:10:04,896 --> 00:10:06,815
he doesn't lead with
"Do you come here often?
233
00:10:06,815 --> 00:10:09,651
I don't, because I have
a wife and kid."
234
00:10:10,527 --> 00:10:13,822
So what you're saying is,
you didn't just hurt me.
235
00:10:13,822 --> 00:10:15,990
You hurt Bunny too.
236
00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:19,828
Well, yeah.
It hurt me too.
237
00:10:20,537 --> 00:10:24,040
I mean, I went from having sex
with two women to none.
238
00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:26,126
You both just lost one man.
239
00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:30,005
Yeah, and I thought
I was over it,
240
00:10:30,005 --> 00:10:32,257
but having to face Bunny
241
00:10:32,257 --> 00:10:33,842
brought me right back
to that time,
242
00:10:33,842 --> 00:10:36,928
and the pain came flooding in.
243
00:10:36,928 --> 00:10:38,596
Yeah.
[sighs]
244
00:10:38,596 --> 00:10:41,307
Man, I'm sorry that you're
still hurting, Rosie.
245
00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:44,644
Oh, think there's
only one person to blame.
246
00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:45,937
That's right. [laughs]
247
00:10:45,937 --> 00:10:48,023
Tonto Tecate-Cán!
248
00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:51,818
Don't give me
that Tonto Te-caca.
249
00:10:53,778 --> 00:10:55,739
You need to take
some accountability.
250
00:10:55,739 --> 00:10:57,824
Bunny's doing it.
Why can't you?
251
00:10:57,824 --> 00:10:59,868
I am taking accountability...
252
00:10:59,868 --> 00:11:02,078
for being cursed!
253
00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:04,205
I'm an irresistible victim.
254
00:11:05,081 --> 00:11:08,209
[upbeat saxophone music]
255
00:11:08,209 --> 00:11:11,087
♪ ♪
256
00:11:14,132 --> 00:11:16,217
Quinten, there's something
I need to tell you.
257
00:11:16,217 --> 00:11:19,471
There's this bird doctor
at my office,
258
00:11:19,471 --> 00:11:22,599
and last night,
I had a dream about him.
259
00:11:22,599 --> 00:11:24,184
A sex dream.
260
00:11:25,769 --> 00:11:26,936
Really?
261
00:11:26,936 --> 00:11:29,773
We kissed...
262
00:11:29,773 --> 00:11:31,524
on the lips.
263
00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:35,111
Yeah, that wasn't
a sex dream.
264
00:11:35,111 --> 00:11:37,530
That was an episode
of "Suite Life on Deck."
265
00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:39,449
And it's totally normal.
266
00:11:39,449 --> 00:11:41,701
I dream about other women
all the time.
267
00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:44,079
All the time?
268
00:11:44,079 --> 00:11:46,664
I mean,
half of the time.
269
00:11:46,664 --> 00:11:48,583
A third of the time?
270
00:11:48,583 --> 00:11:49,959
What time is it?
271
00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:54,172
The problem is,
Dr. Bell asked me
272
00:11:54,172 --> 00:11:56,925
to join him at BirdCon.
273
00:11:56,925 --> 00:11:58,968
It'll be just the two of us,
274
00:11:58,968 --> 00:12:01,971
squeezed together
in a tiny booth
275
00:12:01,971 --> 00:12:04,182
at a Ramada Inn.
276
00:12:05,975 --> 00:12:07,852
Well, that sounds like
277
00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:10,689
a great networking opportunity.
278
00:12:10,689 --> 00:12:12,357
What?
279
00:12:12,357 --> 00:12:14,526
I don't think you get
how serious this is.
280
00:12:14,526 --> 00:12:16,945
Look, I was reading
about how children
281
00:12:16,945 --> 00:12:18,363
of unfaithful parents
282
00:12:18,363 --> 00:12:20,407
are more likely
to cheat themselves.
283
00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:23,326
It's in "People" magazine.
I mean, it's legit.
284
00:12:24,202 --> 00:12:26,663
Mayan, I would never think
in a million years
285
00:12:26,663 --> 00:12:27,831
that you would cheat on me.
286
00:12:27,831 --> 00:12:30,542
I don't think you're capable.
287
00:12:30,542 --> 00:12:32,544
Not capable?
288
00:12:32,544 --> 00:12:34,004
What is that supposed to mean?
289
00:12:34,004 --> 00:12:37,173
It means you're loyal
and you're caring.
290
00:12:37,173 --> 00:12:38,341
- And--
- You don't think
291
00:12:38,341 --> 00:12:41,594
I'm attractive enough
to get Dr. Bell!
292
00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:44,973
What?
That is not what I was saying.
293
00:12:44,973 --> 00:12:46,558
You're very attractive.
294
00:12:46,558 --> 00:12:48,852
You could have a threesome
with Zack and Cody.
295
00:12:50,353 --> 00:12:52,439
Cheating is just not
who you are.
296
00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:54,733
You don't know who I am
297
00:12:54,733 --> 00:12:56,192
or what I'm capable of!
298
00:12:56,192 --> 00:12:58,778
I could be really good
at cheating.
299
00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:00,405
Sure, Mayan.
300
00:13:00,405 --> 00:13:02,532
You could cheat on me--
in your dreams.
301
00:13:02,532 --> 00:13:03,575
Oh!
302
00:13:03,575 --> 00:13:05,160
You didn't even do it
right then.
303
00:13:06,411 --> 00:13:08,038
Good night.
304
00:13:12,083 --> 00:13:13,251
[knock at door]
305
00:13:14,919 --> 00:13:16,254
Bunny.
306
00:13:16,254 --> 00:13:18,214
Thank you for coming over.
307
00:13:18,214 --> 00:13:19,674
In case you're thinking
of doing something,
308
00:13:19,674 --> 00:13:21,092
five people know my location
309
00:13:21,092 --> 00:13:23,553
and expect me to report back
in the next 20 minutes.
310
00:13:23,553 --> 00:13:26,389
Please.
311
00:13:26,389 --> 00:13:28,600
If I wanted to kill you,
you'd be dead by now.
312
00:13:31,394 --> 00:13:35,357
I asked you over
so we can talk.
313
00:13:35,357 --> 00:13:37,108
[sighs]
314
00:13:37,108 --> 00:13:38,985
George told me
you never knew about us.
315
00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:41,029
I didn't,
and when I found out,
316
00:13:41,029 --> 00:13:42,739
I ended it immediately.
317
00:13:42,739 --> 00:13:44,157
I know.
318
00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:45,617
Good job setting his truck
on fire
319
00:13:45,617 --> 00:13:47,452
and not having it
traced back to you.
320
00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:51,247
Thank you.
321
00:13:51,247 --> 00:13:53,166
You should've seen the boat
I sunk in Daytona.
322
00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:56,044
[both laughing]
323
00:13:58,296 --> 00:14:00,924
Um... I just wanted you
to know
324
00:14:00,924 --> 00:14:03,927
that you did nothing wrong.
325
00:14:03,927 --> 00:14:06,012
Well, to me.
326
00:14:06,012 --> 00:14:09,766
I can't speak
for that person in Daytona.
327
00:14:09,766 --> 00:14:11,685
Neither can they.
328
00:14:11,685 --> 00:14:14,437
You know, the less
you tell me about that,
329
00:14:14,437 --> 00:14:16,481
the better.
330
00:14:16,481 --> 00:14:18,775
You don't owe me
an apology.
331
00:14:18,775 --> 00:14:22,654
But I do know someone
who owes us both one.
332
00:14:26,032 --> 00:14:28,952
[upbeat saxophone music]
333
00:14:28,952 --> 00:14:30,578
{\an8}[grunts]
334
00:14:30,578 --> 00:14:33,957
{\an8}Grandpa, stop trying
to force that piece in.
335
00:14:33,957 --> 00:14:35,542
{\an8}It doesn't fit.
336
00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:37,711
{\an8}It doesn't?
337
00:14:40,338 --> 00:14:41,756
{\an8}And right now, it does.
338
00:14:45,343 --> 00:14:48,888
Dad, Grandpa
is a cheater.
339
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:51,224
Hey, and one day,
you will be too.
340
00:14:52,642 --> 00:14:54,352
Embrace your destiny.
341
00:14:56,062 --> 00:14:57,939
I'm gonna go get some glue
342
00:14:57,939 --> 00:15:02,027
to fix my 1,001-piece puzzle.
343
00:15:06,364 --> 00:15:07,907
It's just three of us
for dinner.
344
00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:09,826
Mayan's at BirdCon.
345
00:15:09,826 --> 00:15:12,328
With fine-as-hell Dr. Bell?
346
00:15:12,328 --> 00:15:15,290
You gotta stop her, man.
Have you seen this hunk?
347
00:15:15,290 --> 00:15:17,375
Oh, wow.
He's handsome.
348
00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:21,338
How many pictures of him
did you download?
349
00:15:21,338 --> 00:15:23,673
It's not what you think, man.
I'm using him to catfish.
350
00:15:25,508 --> 00:15:27,177
And not only is he handsome...
351
00:15:27,177 --> 00:15:30,055
He's British, love.
352
00:15:30,055 --> 00:15:31,765
No, I--no, I trust Mayan,
353
00:15:31,765 --> 00:15:33,516
and I know
she would never cheat on me,
354
00:15:33,516 --> 00:15:36,311
even though last night,
she said she might.
355
00:15:36,311 --> 00:15:37,854
Of course she will, man!
356
00:15:37,854 --> 00:15:40,774
It's something in our blood
that activates.
357
00:15:41,733 --> 00:15:44,652
I think you're confusing
cheating with diabetes.
358
00:15:45,737 --> 00:15:48,365
I never thought
I would cheat, but I did.
359
00:15:48,365 --> 00:15:50,283
If only someone
would've showed up at 3:00 p.m.
360
00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:51,701
on Easter Sunday
at that strip club,
361
00:15:51,701 --> 00:15:53,453
my marriage
would still be alive!
362
00:15:55,163 --> 00:15:56,873
Would it?
363
00:15:56,873 --> 00:15:58,792
Mayan is more like me
than she realizes.
364
00:15:58,792 --> 00:16:00,543
She got a great partner,
and she's gonna ruin it,
365
00:16:00,543 --> 00:16:02,212
and I don't wanna learn
a new white guy.
366
00:16:03,505 --> 00:16:04,714
Aw.
367
00:16:04,714 --> 00:16:07,258
And I don't wanna learn
a new Mexican.
368
00:16:07,258 --> 00:16:09,928
Nope, can't say that. Sorry.
369
00:16:09,928 --> 00:16:12,889
[upbeat saxophone music]
370
00:16:12,889 --> 00:16:15,684
♪ ♪
371
00:16:15,684 --> 00:16:18,186
Mayan, great job
clipping those feathers.
372
00:16:18,186 --> 00:16:19,896
Ah, thanks, Dr. Bell.
373
00:16:19,896 --> 00:16:22,440
I got a lot of practice
clipping my dad's back hair.
374
00:16:23,858 --> 00:16:25,610
Oh, God.
This is my dream.
375
00:16:26,820 --> 00:16:28,822
Mine too.
376
00:16:28,822 --> 00:16:30,782
I live for BirdCon.
377
00:16:31,574 --> 00:16:33,368
And this year
is gonna be the best yet.
378
00:16:33,368 --> 00:16:35,745
I made sure
to bring protection.
379
00:16:35,745 --> 00:16:37,997
What?
380
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:39,749
They let hawks in this year!
381
00:16:39,749 --> 00:16:41,543
Oh.
382
00:16:44,379 --> 00:16:46,756
I can't believe you made me
come spy on Mayan.
383
00:16:46,756 --> 00:16:48,967
Why do you have binoculars?
They're right there.
384
00:16:48,967 --> 00:16:51,636
These aren't binoculars.
These are bar-noculars.
385
00:16:54,305 --> 00:16:55,807
Hey, look,
she's not doing anything,
386
00:16:55,807 --> 00:16:57,267
so let's get out of here
before she sees us.
387
00:16:57,267 --> 00:16:58,727
She can't see us.
388
00:16:58,727 --> 00:17:00,270
She's too busy trying
to get her hands
389
00:17:00,270 --> 00:17:02,647
on Dr. Bell's big hawk.
390
00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:07,569
I'm so nervous.
391
00:17:07,569 --> 00:17:09,612
I've never done this before.
392
00:17:09,612 --> 00:17:12,991
I know it's a lot to handle, but...
393
00:17:12,991 --> 00:17:15,410
just relax and try to enjoy it.
394
00:17:17,328 --> 00:17:19,164
See that?
395
00:17:19,164 --> 00:17:20,623
He's trying to use that bird
396
00:17:20,623 --> 00:17:22,834
as an excuse
to grind up on your woman!
397
00:17:25,503 --> 00:17:27,797
Oh, no, I'm sure
it just looks bad.
398
00:17:27,797 --> 00:17:30,467
But let's get closer and see
if it sounds bad too.
399
00:17:37,307 --> 00:17:38,808
I want you, Mayan.
400
00:17:38,808 --> 00:17:40,935
You can't deny that we have
great chemistry.
401
00:17:42,479 --> 00:17:45,690
I have to admit, I'm tempted.
402
00:17:45,690 --> 00:17:48,485
I promise you'll be
more satisfied with me.
403
00:17:48,485 --> 00:17:51,821
Hey, she doesn't need
to be satisfied.
404
00:17:51,821 --> 00:17:53,531
That's why she's with me!
405
00:17:53,531 --> 00:17:55,700
So back off, bird man!
406
00:17:56,701 --> 00:17:58,370
- Get him, White Tyson!
- Yeah!
407
00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:00,955
- [groans]
- Oh!
408
00:18:03,291 --> 00:18:04,709
Quinten, stop!
409
00:18:04,709 --> 00:18:07,712
He wasn't hitting on me.
He was offering me a job!
410
00:18:09,631 --> 00:18:10,799
Oh.
411
00:18:10,799 --> 00:18:12,592
[softly] Sorry...
412
00:18:15,470 --> 00:18:18,264
You know,
if you can hunt down a pigeon,
413
00:18:18,264 --> 00:18:20,475
I can get us both chicken
at KFC.
414
00:18:25,397 --> 00:18:26,731
[upbeat saxophone music]
415
00:18:30,735 --> 00:18:32,779
Little on the nose
for a jail at BirdCon.
416
00:18:35,156 --> 00:18:37,867
Security had to improvise.
417
00:18:37,867 --> 00:18:39,244
Mayan, I'm so sorry.
418
00:18:39,244 --> 00:18:40,870
George got in my head,
419
00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:43,206
and you didn't exactly
instill confidence
420
00:18:43,206 --> 00:18:46,626
when you said that you could be
"really good at cheating."
421
00:18:48,378 --> 00:18:49,963
I'm sorry.
422
00:18:49,963 --> 00:18:51,297
He got in my head too.
423
00:18:52,507 --> 00:18:54,926
Even if we dream
about other people,
424
00:18:54,926 --> 00:18:57,554
you're the only one
I wanna wake up next to.
425
00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:04,352
Well, I'm sorry
that I made you doubt
426
00:19:04,352 --> 00:19:06,604
what you two have.
427
00:19:06,604 --> 00:19:08,356
You're not me, Mayan.
428
00:19:08,356 --> 00:19:09,941
You're better.
429
00:19:09,941 --> 00:19:12,110
Aw, Dad, you don't have
to say that.
430
00:19:12,110 --> 00:19:13,570
I know.
431
00:19:15,572 --> 00:19:18,950
[trills] Tonto, tonto.
432
00:19:18,950 --> 00:19:20,118
[trills]
433
00:19:20,118 --> 00:19:21,661
I taught her that.
434
00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:24,080
Someone paid
for the damage you caused,
435
00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:25,123
so you're free to go.
436
00:19:25,123 --> 00:19:26,624
Really?
437
00:19:26,624 --> 00:19:27,792
All right, let's get home,
438
00:19:27,792 --> 00:19:30,003
and I will show you
a real sex dream.
439
00:19:32,088 --> 00:19:33,590
Hey, what the hell?
440
00:19:33,590 --> 00:19:35,425
Sorry, but they said
they'd pay me extra
441
00:19:35,425 --> 00:19:36,426
to keep you here.
442
00:19:36,426 --> 00:19:37,886
Who's "they"?
443
00:19:37,886 --> 00:19:40,180
both: We're here!
444
00:19:40,847 --> 00:19:42,640
Hey, Bunny, Rosie,
come on, let me out!
445
00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:43,767
Not until you take
446
00:19:43,767 --> 00:19:45,060
accountability
for your actions.
447
00:19:45,060 --> 00:19:47,812
Yeah, this is
a reckoning, turkey.
448
00:19:49,647 --> 00:19:51,399
You're right.
449
00:19:51,399 --> 00:19:52,984
There's no excuse
for what I did
450
00:19:52,984 --> 00:19:55,570
or the lies that I told.
451
00:19:55,570 --> 00:19:58,323
You're both great women,
and I didn't deserve
452
00:19:58,323 --> 00:19:59,824
either of you.
453
00:19:59,824 --> 00:20:01,785
Really, all I can say
is that I'm sorry.
454
00:20:03,370 --> 00:20:06,039
- [sighs]
- Rosie.
455
00:20:06,039 --> 00:20:08,625
I'm sorry I didn't accept
responsibility sooner.
456
00:20:08,625 --> 00:20:10,627
But Mayan taught me
457
00:20:10,627 --> 00:20:12,462
that being faithful
is a real thing!
458
00:20:12,462 --> 00:20:14,130
What?
Who knew?
459
00:20:15,423 --> 00:20:17,425
Literally everybody.
460
00:20:19,511 --> 00:20:22,722
I didn't realize
what I had to lose.
461
00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:24,974
Well, there is a way
462
00:20:24,974 --> 00:20:26,935
that you can make it up
to both of us
463
00:20:26,935 --> 00:20:28,478
at the same time.
464
00:20:28,478 --> 00:20:29,938
All right,
I like where this is going.
465
00:20:31,690 --> 00:20:33,149
Okay, slow down.
466
00:20:33,149 --> 00:20:34,651
It's going to Chico's.
467
00:20:36,069 --> 00:20:37,654
And if you don't...
468
00:20:39,322 --> 00:20:42,409
What kind of AA do you go to,
Arsons Anonymous?
469
00:20:43,410 --> 00:20:45,954
[upbeat drum music]
470
00:20:45,954 --> 00:20:47,580
[snake rattling]
471
00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:50,041
♪ ♪
472
00:20:50,041 --> 00:20:52,002
Mm.
473
00:20:52,002 --> 00:20:54,462
Finally, my kingdom
is at peace.
474
00:20:54,462 --> 00:20:58,133
♪ ♪
475
00:20:58,133 --> 00:21:00,635
{\an8}Tonto Tecate-Cán!
476
00:21:00,635 --> 00:21:04,431
{\an8}♪ ♪
477
00:21:04,431 --> 00:21:06,558
{\an8}How are you still alive?
478
00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:11,396
{\an8}Turns out you were right.
I am a bruja.
479
00:21:11,396 --> 00:21:15,066
{\an8}That's why I can do this!
480
00:21:15,066 --> 00:21:17,402
{\an8}[screams in agony]
481
00:21:17,402 --> 00:21:20,071
{\an8}♪ ♪
482
00:21:20,071 --> 00:21:21,656
{\an8}Ay!
483
00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:26,411
{\an8}That was a good sex dream.
484
00:21:26,411 --> 00:21:29,039
{\an8}[upbeat saxophone music]
485
00:21:29,089 --> 00:21:33,639
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