Original subtitles

A film by Zvi Shissel

"Sababa"

With: Tzahi Noi, Yosef Shiloah

One, two, three, four.

One, two...

Pick your legs up, girls. Pick 'em up!

Producers Danny Dimbort - Rafi Adar

Director Zvi Shlissel

Att... Att... Att... Attention!

Com... com... commander... -I got you, Duck.

You know, the duty cadet isn't supposed to stutter. -B... but...

Shut up and get back in line.

I came to say good morning.

Do you have a hearing problem? -Good morning, Commander.

I can't hear you! -Good morning, Sergeant. -Nice.

From today on, you're alone on base.

Whoever was fit for combat was taken to a different base.

You guys, you limited fitness guys, were left behind.

But, hey, don't be sad.

Limited fitness isn't a contagious disease.

I'm going to make men out of you. Men with balls.

I'm going to have you do some rigorous training

and you're going to eat a lot of, a lot of... -Dirt.

Dirt, what? -Dirt, Commander. -Right.

What is this all about? I'm talking to you, Kitbag.

What, sir? -I asked what is this all about, idiot?

I don't understand, sir. -Are you making fun of an officer?

What is this marquis?

Oh, it's not a marquis. It's a parasol, sir. -Parasol, my foot!

Give to me now. -But sir, I'm not allow to stand in the sun.

Why? Are you made out of ice cream, jellyroll? -No, no sir.

I have a doctor's exemption. I'm exempt from the sun.

From who? -From the sun.

Are you making fun of my name? A note against the sun?

It's not a joke. It's from the doctor. -Shut up and come here.

Left, right, left. Left, right, left. At attention.

Now see what happens to the wise guy

who makes fun of Staff Sergeant Sun,

with a note against the sun.

He's going to walk behind me, left-right in the sun,

until he sees the father, mother, and granny of the sun.

But, sir. -Shut up and fall in step.

Left, right, left, right. Left, right, left.

Okay, boys, at ease. Go on.

Left, right, left, right. Left, right, left.

When the sun beats down, that's sun stroke.

Follow me. This is what you get for making fun of Staff Sergeant Sun.

Left, right, left, right. Left, right, left.

Left, right, left... -Sun, come here. -Turn right.

Right, left, left.

Hey, are you crazy?

Why are you walking around with an umbrella?

It's not mine, officer. If's his. -His? Whose?

Can't you see the guy behind me? -Are you driving me nuts?

There's no one behind you. -What do you mean, no one, sir?

Don't you know the fat recruit we call Kitbag?

Oh my God, Sergeant! The earth must have swallowed him up!

He was here a second ago.

Sun, get rid of the damn umbrella,

and get back to the platoon right away.

I won't have you marching around here like Mickey Mouse. -Yes, sir.

Hey guys! Canteen's open!

Guys, no pushing, stay in line, no pushing.

Here's the change. Waffle? Lira.

Guys, no pushing! There's enough for everyone.

Look at the stars, my honey bun.

Stop philosophizing, Sun. -Why do you say that, guava?

You know my love for you is a great as the stars.

Stop messing around with me.

Tomorrow morning, you're going to sign up for a marriage license.

First, we have to finish this round of basic training,

then we'll get married in a quickie wedding.

Right now, my recruits are most important.

I'm making men out of them. Keeping the discipline.

At nine, they're already sleeping,

and they're as quiet as fish, like those little guppies.

By me, the girls are already asleep by eight. -Girls are different.

Girls are weaker. Their vitamins are smaller.

Come here, my darling.

Come see how they sleep and dream like baby hippos.

Heaven help us!

Attention!

You have two seconds to get all these sluts to the girls' barracks!

I'll show you what happens if you fool with me.

Get out of here, laggards.

How many times have I told you to watch your pissing' recruits?

They'll get the whole platoon pregnant!

Damn it, Sun.

Kitbag, move your ass and get back in place. Quick.

I told you from day one this is the army here.

This isn't a whorehouse.

Girls are out of bounds.

That's what we call a military offense.

But what's worse is, if you're having an orgy,

and you don't invite your sergeant

who loves you like his own kids.

Now, you've got two seconds. Get your beds out on the court.

We're going to have a party by moon light.

Passadoble.

Come on, Kitbag, move your ass and start dancing.

You don't know how to dance the Passadoble?

Come on!

Nice. Right hand... and left hand... nice.

Sun! What's going on here, Sun?

Attention!

Left, right, left, right. Left, right, left right.

Officer, the division is ready and set for command, sir.

Sun, I see you've opened up a dance school over here, Sun.

No, sir. These recruits were having an orgy without permission.

So I decided to teach them a lesson with the Passadoble. -Paso what?

Passadoble, sir. Don't you know what that is?

It's a dance, like the mamba.

Sun, I told you not to yell in my ear.

I can't hear anymore in this ear.

Yes, sir!

Sun, stop driving me crazy and stop the tango bit.

It's not a tango, sir. Can't you hear? It's Passadoble.

This is how you dance the tango.

And you dance the Passadoble like this with a rake. See, sir. -Sun.

Sun, get a hold of yourself. -Yes, Sir.

Pay attention, Sun.

Aw, shit. May he have an attack of asthma.

In two weeks, we'll start the big maneuver.

In the maneuver, the Sababa base will fight the Ezyioni base.

For the past nine years, Eziyoni has always won,

under the brilliant command of Master Sergeant Gat.

They managed to capture the company flag nine times!

If Gat manages to win this year, the flag will be Eziyoni's forever.

When the battle day begins, Eziyoni will hide the flag,

and Sababa will have to find it.

I hope that you'll manage to train your soldiers by D-day.

I'm going to beat you hands down, Flechter.

Gat, I'm going to fuck you over so bad, Gat.

Stop fighting.

You'll have enough time to kill each other during the maneuver.

At ease!

Soldier!

Didn't anyone teach you to salute? -Y...y...y...y... yes...

So salute!

What is that? Get over to detention and wait for me there. Quick.

Twenty. -I'll raise you.

How much? -One.

Galit, tell Shimshon to please send me two sandwiches.

One with cheese and one with tuna, and coffee. -Yes, sir.

What's going on here? What is this supposed to be? Tell me!

Sir, we're cleaning your room. Painting it. It'll be like new.

Shut up and get the hell out of here.

Fifty laps around the square. Make it fast.

Come here. Come here right away. Come over here.

Go please, to Mr. Sun. Tell him to get over here quickly.

Make it fast! Move!

Tell me, can't you be more careful?

Sir?

Who is it? -Me. -Me, who? -Me, commander.

I know I'm the commander. But who are you?

Oh, it's me. Yudaleh, commander.

Tell me, Kitbag, you moron.

Don't you know you shouldn't bother an officer when he's in the shower?

I know, sir. -So why are you bothering me when I'm wet?

I came on command. The master sergeant wants you right away.

What happened? Is the army falling apart?

I don't know. I think he's really pissed off at you.

Oh no.

Sergeant, you wanted to see me right away?

Sun, I want you to take this base into your hands.

Sun, in two weeks time, we have a maneuver. -Against who, sir?

Against the Eziyoni troop, Sun. -Oh no.

Sun, I want you to know that if we don't beat them this time,

if this time we don't capture their flag,

I will personally make sure you are demoted to private,

and you'll go to boot camp with the paratroopers.

But, sir, I can't go to the paratroopers.

I don't have boots. Besides, all the brave recruits went to combat.

All that's left are the wise guys and morons. -I don't care, Sun.

From now on, no days off, and no sick passes. Nothing.

From today on, just drill, drill and more drills. Clear?

Yes, sir. -Free to go.

Yes, sir. -Go! -Yes, sir.

Go. Get a move on, already.

Attention! At ease.

The Sababa troop thinks this time they can beat us in battle.

But I ask you, what are we going to do to them? -Beat 'em up. sir!

Beat what? -We'll beat their asses, sir!

Right!

Arms up!

Up!

From this moment on, the holiday's over.

From now on, you're all lions with crocodile teeth.

From this moment on, we're beginning intensive training.

Like the King of England said, what's his name? Churchill...

By me, you're going to eat a lot of blood, frogs, and lice.

Let's go! I want to see murder in your eyes...

Oh... oh... I feel like a whale.

Jump already!

Jump!

Jump already! -Jump.

Kitbag, don't look down. You'll get dizzy.

Now jump. Don't cause me problems.

Jump already! -Good. You can be a paratrooper.

Jump... jump... jump...

And pull.

Go on, Kitbag.

Nice.

Well, it looks like everyone here is healthy and feeling good.

But if any sorry private

might, by chance, not feel so good,

and needs to see the doctor, then raise your hand.

How many sick days do you need? -Two.

How many sick days do you need? -Two.

Who's next in line? -Me.

Name? -Yudaleh. -Rank. -Private.

Name? (Hebrew sounds like "Sit") -Yudaleh. -Soldier, I said, "Name!"

Yudaleh. -I said name please.

Soldier, your name, please, I said. -My name is Yudaleh.

Soldier, I know your name is Yudaleh.

But I said: Sit down in the chair. -Yes, doctor.

What's the problem? -I don't feel good.

Something hurts you? -Yes, a bit.

Soldier, just say yes or no. -Yes.

What hurts? -It hurts me here.

Did you eat dinner last night? -Of course.

Soldier, just say yes or no. -Yes.

Did you pass today? -Pass? No pass home for two weeks.

Soldier, I didn't ask going home. I asked about going to the toilet.

Oh, yes. I went to the bathroom.

And did you pass? -Do you mean did I take a crap?

Well, doctor, just barely. -Soldier.

Don't interrupt. Go to the bed and pick up your shirt.

Just sit down, don't make trouble. Soon, we'll see the problem.

Does it hurt here? -A little. -Soldier, don't interrupt.

Just say yes or no. -Yes or no.

I said, soldier, just say yes or no. -Yes or no.

I see you like trouble. Lay on your stomach.

Doctor, I'm not making trouble.

Soldier, I said take off your pants and lay on your stomach. Now.

And take off your underpants, too.

But doctor, I already feel better. -Soldier, don't interrupt.

But doctor, I feel better already. I'm already better.

One minute and you'll be healthier.

But doctor. -Quiet, soldier.

Now, don't breathe.

Ah...

Yes? -Ah... -Olga? -Ah...

Doctor? -Don't interrupt me like this.

I don't think that the kid should put his finger in the socket. -Ah...

Kitbag, he really fooled us all.

I really fooled you. I am a man of my word.

Here you go, guys. I brought the goods.

This is Rutti.

And this is Rena. Nice to meet you. No hands.

Hold on.

You... you... Are you... you... S... S... S... sure they're easy?

Sure. They're original nymphomaniacs.

Take a bit of this. -What is this? Gasoline?

No way. Not gasoline This is strong stuff.

Wait, I'll give you one more drop of this

and you'll feel the blood rush to your head.

Aw, come on. -Girls, drink up. It's on the house. Cheers! -Thanks.

They... they... they're not drinking.

Girls, drink up! Drink up.

So, how was it? -Great.

Maybe, m... m... m... maybe they're d... d... d... dead?

No, they're not dead. They're just high.

Guys! Sun's coming.

Hurry up. Pick 'em up. Bring 'em here.

What's this, Kitbag?

You've committed another military offense, have you? -No way, sir.

What is this in the bed?

Did you bring a girl in here?

No way. What girl? That's Denino, Sir. -Denino?

You don't fool me, Kitbag. That's a girl. Denino's hair's not long.

That's why he's here, sir. He's got a hair disease.

His hair keeps growing all the time.

Hair disease? Good God! Is it contagious?

I think so. You better not get too close.

Oh dear.

And this? -That's Suissa. He came to visit Danino and got sick.

What? He caught it so quickly?

Yes. You should see his stomach. You wouldn't believe it.

Why? What happened to his stomach? -He grew a beard on his stomach.

God help us! A beard on his stomach?

I'm going to Master Sergeant Flechter to notify him immediately.

Don't move. God forbid, don't touch them.

I think there's a hair plague over here. God help us all.

Up, up, gang! Out of bed!

Let's get them out quickly, before the Master Sergeant comes.

Come on. Quick.

Commander, hurry up. It's a critical situation. hurry up.

You wake me up for this nonsense?

It's not nonsense, sir.

Danino. -His head, stomach, back, everything's covered in hair.

And Suissa looks like Queen Esther already. Come quickly.

Come, sir. Come look!

Where are they? -Where are who, sir?

Don't joke with me, Kitbag. Where are Suissa and Danino?

Tell me, have you seen Suissa and Danino? -Y... y... y... yes.

One w...W... ... week ago in the canteen.

What kind of wisecracks are these, Sun? What kind of wisecracks?

Sir, they were here. With lots of hair.

Stop messing around with me.

I swear.

They were lying here like two monsters from the Planet Ape.

See, sir. See how the plague is spreading?

The doctor's come with another one with the disease.

Don't mess with me, Sun. That's not a soldier. It's a woman.

You're wrong, Sir. Don't you recognize him? It's Haimko.

He's a photographer, right, doctor? It's Haimko the photographer.

God help us. Look how his hair grew.

Keep your hands off, Goddammit it!

He's got swollen glands, too. I can see. Oh dear.

Olga. Don't interrupt.

Sun, I told you get your hands off my woman.

Sun! Get over here!

Yes, sir.

How is the training going?

Everything's fine, Sir. I'm doing my utmost.

Don't forget that the Eziyoni troop is not a bunch of wimps.

I won't forget, sir. I'm working the troop day and night.

I'm sick from working so much. My head is revolving like a yo-yo.

I don't care. Don't forget. We must win this maneuver.

Yes, sir.

One, two, three, four.

Everyone lie down. Grenade.

Kitbag, take a grenade. Do what I do.

Do what I did.

I said first, it's a grenade, not a palm branch.

Give it to me. I'll show you how to throw a grenade.

Sir, you are... -Shut up.

You're can't talk to a sergeant when he's holding a grenade.

Yes, sir, but you... -You want to get me mad?

When I'm holding a grenade in my hand?

So listen up, moron.

I said before. This is a grenade, not a banana.

I'll explain one more time.

When you hold a grenade, you count.

Now everyone together with me.

One. -One. -Two. -Two. -Three. -Four.

Now it's the most critical moment for a grenade.

This is what we call pulling out the pin.

Oh my God. I'm going to die!

I can't throw the grenade.

I think I'm paralyzed. Help!

So, Kitbag, tell me, you moron. What do you do in the army?

Oh, sir, I don't feel good.

We'll check right away. Pulse 60 on 40 mph.

Temperature's okay. Heartbeat's stable.

Don't worry. You won't die.

But, a good army doesn't leave soldiers on the field.

Get a stretcher.

How do you feel, Kitbag? -Great, sir. -Good.

This is what we call intensive care.

Sir, do you have a light? -Please.

Tell me, Kitbag, you moron, do you think I'm a fool?

Turn the stretcher upside down.

Now, everyone is ordered to stop breathing. For three minutes.

Ready? Go.

Good.

Bravo, Duck.

I heard you breathing.

The powder told me. Don't you get the "stop breathing" exercise?

No, sir. Maybe you could show me? -Certainly.

A good officer always sets a good example.

I'll show you how a sergeant stops breathing for 3 minutes. Easy.

Ready? Go. Three, four.

Only 10 seconds have gone by, sir.

Just two more minutes and 17 seconds.

Maybe the watch is broken.

No, sir. You have another minute 55.

Company, free to go.

Sir, what happened?

Don't ask, Kitbag. I'm about to die.

What's the matter? -Excuse me, doctor.

But my head is spinning like a top.

Did you take "Selganin," like I said? -The whole bottle.

And? Do you feel better? - I feel much worse.

You're as healthy as an ox, Sunny boy.

Sir, you know, once, I also didn't feel so good.

So I went to a doctor. Now, I feel excellent.

Doc, why don't you give him the same treatment as me?

I think Yudaleh's right. Go in and take off your underpants.

Thank you very much, doctor.

Soldier. -Sir?

What are you doing here? Who are you peeking at?

Who am I peeking at?

I wanted to see if the doctor's in. -Oh... oh...

Where are you going, Sun? Can't you see I have a headache?

Don't worry, sir, the doctor will take care of you,

get rid of your headache.

Yeah, right. I think Sunny boy is right.

Go inside, Sergeant.

Kitbag, don't you know you're not allowed to peek?

I'm about to see how that bastard Flechter gets his share.

I'll show you how it's done.

Sir, the espionage squad is ready and waiting for your orders, Sir.

Sun, I hope you chose the right soldiers.

Because by tonight, I want a report on Eziyoni's operation methods.

Is that clear? -Yes, sir. -Right face. March.

Sun, why did you pick those degenerates?

You morons! Don't you know how to turn left?

Come on. Run after me.

Hup... hup... hup. -Degenerates.

Tonight, before the maneuvers begin

our forces will spread out in ambush of the Sababa soldiers.

We will hide our flag in the parking lot.

I hope all of Sababa will be taken prisoner before they get the flag.

The sensitive areas will be... -Write this down, Kitbag.

"Poppy Hill" and "Wadi Musa."

Sir, what did he say after "Mustard Hill?"

"Poppy Hill." -Oh... oh... -Shut your mouth, Duck.

Write "Poppy Hill." -He said "By Garbage Road."

No way. He said "Mustard Hill." -Just shut up! Shut up!

We are in enemy territory now. Write down "Poppy Hill."

Hands up! -God help us!

I think we've been caught.

For once and for all, we're going to show Master Sergeant Flechter

that we are not suckers.

Heaven help us. I think they're going to execute us.

Kitbag, Duck, stop crying. Don't forget, we're brave soldiers.

We will die, standing tall, like heroes.

Prepare to shoot.

What's going on? Is there no mercy?

Do you want to kill us off when we're so young?

My goodness. I ask forgiveness. I ask to be pardoned.

On command! Fire!

I'm dead. They killed me. They bombed me.

I'm dead. I'm dead.

Sir, everything's all right. You can get up.

God save us.

It's a mirage.

Hey, Kitbag, are we in heaven?

Duck, are you here too?

I thought you'd be in hell.

Sir, they tricked us. We were duped.

They tricked us?

We'll show them who tricks whom.

Kitbag, don't forget. We heard their secret plans, right?

Come on. Follow me. Back to base.

Sun, come here.

Left, right, left, right. Left, right, left. Attention.

What's the meaning of this, Sun? What's with the get up?

Sir, those Eziyoni bastards caught us.

But we managed to run away from them,

and we brought you their secret plans.

The secret plans? -Yes, sir.

They're planning an ambush. -An ambush? Sun, what will we do?

Don't worry, sir. Me and Kitbag have an idea.

We'll start with a small force. We'll call it "The Rose Force."

I'll report if the passages are free of ambushes.

Good idea, Sun. Meanwhile, go check the night watch.

Heaven help you if one of our guards falls asleep

and Eziyoni spies manage to infiltrate the base. Got it?

Yes, Sir.

Guard.

Guard.

Are you sleeping?

Excuse me for disturbing you.

Maybe you'd like a pillow?

Maybe you'd like a blanket?

Are you deaf, you idiot?

Answer when spoken to!

Soldier, at attention!

What's going on here?

What could that be?

I caught you sleeping, guard. Don't you know that's forbidden?

No, sir. You're mistaken. I wasn't sleeping.

I was just dozing. -You what? I was dozing, dozing.

I was just dozing a bit. Can't you see I was dozing?

Are you trying to make fun of your commander?

I'm not making fun, sir.

Look, you moron. Are you trying to talk like me?

I'm talking like you? -Yeah, you're talking like me.

I'm not talking like you. I think you're talking like me.

You laughing at my speech? -I'm not laughing at anything, sir.

You making fun of a Persian?

Sir, I think you are making fun of a Persian.

Maybe you're Persian? - I am. I grew up in "Absa'ad."

"Absa'ad?" Why didn't you say so?

Do you know Yakov Yakabian? -Of course I do, sir.

He married Rosa Bahshian.

You're Rosa Bahshian's brother-in-law? -Yes, sir.

You know, Rosa Bahshian is my aunt's daughter.

Really? -Really.

Look where you're going, Boris! -Excuse me, sir.

What happened, Boris? -I don't know, sir.

I brought you food and I heard shots.

Who shot, Boris? - I don't know, sir. Maybe Gat's troop.

Run. Fast. -Yes, sir.

Boris. -Yes, sir.

Don't forget to bring me three full platters of rice.

Yes, sir!

Come here. Take your positions.

Sun. -Attention!

Sir. -Sun, what's going on?

The entire base is on red alert and you're dancing?

On red alert? Sir, what happened?

We've been attacked. Didn't you hear shots? -No, sir.

It's not because of Kafaka. This is a brave guard.

But his gun went off. By accident...

Tell him. Tell the sergeant what happened.

Sergeant, I was dozing a bit when he thought I was sleeping.

And then I heard a round of shots. -It was an emergency, sir.

The round flew by his face. Luckily, he didn't get hurt.

He could have been blinded.

Thank God, not blinded, but my ear is unconscious.

It keeps on ringing.

Sun, stop driving me crazy.

What? You opened a union for Persian immigrants? -No, sir.

Why are you talking like that? It's this dozing guard.

His sister. Her name is Malka.

She and Yakov Yakabian are like sister and brother.

But, you see, he went to school with Rosa Bahshian,

the one who got measles when she was little.

But she survived. It was a miracle.

Don't you see what's going on here Sergeant?

Sun, stop going on and on. Break up the demonstration.

The big maneuver is about to begin, get it, you degenerate? Yes, sir.

Get a hold of yourself. -Yes, sir.

Screw you. I wish you dead.

Lineup at attention! Attention!

Left, right, left, right. Left, right, left. In place.

At attention. Sir, lineup ready and waiting for your command, sir.

Lineup at attention. Attention.

Sir, they are already standing at attention.

I can see, Sun. I'm not blind. -Yes, sir.

Pay attention. We are about to receive important guests.

The Swiss military attach and his deputy.

They will accompany us in training and during our maneuvers.

I ask everyone to behave appropriately.

About face!

Gitta... Gitta...

About face!

Are their rooms ready? -Of course, sir.

And her room? -Especially hers.

Sun, I want you to pay attention to the new recruits.

I don't want them getting any ideas from the attach's breasts.

Is that clear? -Yes, sir.

Go to the kitchen and tell Boris to double the soda at dinner.

In the compote, too? -Compote, too. All the food.

Lots of soda. When the dick's at attention, the brain's on leave.

Is that clear? -Yes, sir.

Gitta...

Sun. -Yes, sir?

Damn it. I wish a Sherman tank would run you down.

Please. Tonight I'll see you. -Yes, please.

I think she's horny.

Sun. - God help us.

Sun, what's going on here? -Nothing, my honey.

I saw you chasing that cow.

Chasing her? You're wrong, my sweetheart.

She was chasing me. I don't know how to get rid of her.

If I catch you with her one more time, il kill you.

You're talking nonsense, my honey bun.

You know that I love you like a pair of doves.

Look. I'll show you.

Do you feel my love, now?

Come here. Give me another kiss.

No need, sweetheart. All the kisses are the same. Come here.

Boris, come over here. I want to tell you something important.

I want you to put lots of soda in everyone's food today.

As usual, sir? -No, 5 times the usual amount. -Yes, sir.

Boris, but make sure that not one drop of soda falls in my pot.

"Baking Soda"

At ease.

Are you having soup, sir?

Boris, my portion doesn't have one drop of soda, right? -No, sir.

Boris, in an hour or two,

I want you to send the guest from Switzerland up to my room.

Room service with a bottle of champagne.

Just like I taught you. -Yes, sir.

Is it good, sir? -Bravo, Boris.

Sergeant Ronda.

I will do a waltz for you, my sweetie pie.

When a man's in love, he needs a little music.

And a little perfume.

I'm about to die.

You are very pretty.

My heart is like a mountain. Like the Carmel mountain.

Soon, they'll bring some drinks. Room service. We'll have wine.

Wine called champagne.

I'm about to die. I think she's horny.

I think she's a nymphomaniac.

Come. Come here.

Just a minute, dear. I'm doing a little pump.

Come here, already. Come here.

Now I'm coming to eat you up my little peach.

I'll devour you like a shake eats a zebra.

That's what we call Samson and Delila.

I love you.

You're beautiful.

I love you, like a tomato.

I love you, like a potato.

Or like a yam.

Who is it? Who's there?

It's... it's me, Yudaleh, sir.

Excuse me. It's room service.

You put your hands on the meat. Don't you have any manners?

I'm sorry, sir, but Boris gave me so many things

and the schnitzels already fell on the floor.

Wash them off!

Go on, then.

Hurry up and go.

Scram, you lazy dog! Get out of here!

Come over here, already. -I'm coming, I'm coming.

Now eat up all my chateaubriand, what we call "well done."

I'm going to die.

I'm a lion.

Oh man!

I think something's wrong.

Excuse me. I'll be right back.

Oh no, I think something's wrong.

Oh no.

God help us. -Get up already! Get up already.

I'm getting up, sweetheart. It's just a technical problem.

I don't know what to do. I think he's paralyzed.

Get up. So me a favor. Please. Don't embarrass me.

Now I'm coming.

Now, I'm a man. I'm going to eat you up!

Oh no. Oh no. I'm a goner.

I think that Boris, that bastard, put all the soda in my soup.

That's what we call a royal mess up.

That Boris is going to do jail time by me.

He's going to eat lots of... dirt.

Please excuse me. I'll be back in 50 minutes.

I'm going to see the sergeant.

May that Boris drop dead. Putting all the soda in my soup.

Sun. -That hippo's all I need right now.

Sun, why are you walking around in that robe?

I've been looking for you for 3 hours, darling.

Are you messing with me again?

You put on all that stinking stuff for that cow?

Why do you talk like that, guava? It doesn't stink.

I put on all that perfume for you, my little rose.

I'll be honest with you, Sun. I'm also feeling horny.

Come to the room till smoke comes out.

I don't need smoke, honey. I need some mercy.

I am such a weak person.

My name?

Yudaleh.

Yudaleh. Yudaleh.

What's with you, Sun. You don't want me?

So, how was it, Danino? -Great.

Go on, you're next, Duck.

Hey! Where's your ticket? -I... I... I... don't have one.

What do you mean by that? -St... st... st... stolen.

Get out of here! You came to make a fast one?

Great.

Danino, put a lot of soda in their soup.

I don't want any trouble here. -Yes, sir.

Sun...

Excuse me. I don't understand. I'll ask right away.

Kitbag, do you understand Haruman's language?

No, Sir. But Yisrael speaks a lot of languages.

Duck, get over here. Run!

Stand here politely. This Haruman is our ally.

Ask him what he said.

What did he say?

He said that he... that...

that he f... f... feels full.

Oh. Maybe ask him if he wants some tea with mint?

No... -Ess oh Ess. -What's that? Did something terrible happen?

S.0.S. Everybody up. Emergency. Everybody up.

What's he saying, Duck? -He's about to blow.

God help us! We're going to be bombed from the air.

Bombed from the air. Everybody lie down.

Duck, ask him how he knows.

No... I need... to go...

Oh, he needs to take a crap? No problem.

Everybody up. Emergency is cancel led.

Danino? -Yes, sir.

Go bring him two new pieces of toilet paper.

You know, the soft kind. From my stock.

Kitbag. -Yes, sir. -Take him out.

Give him some respect, and a can of lysol.

Duck. Show him where the toilets are.

Get up. This way. Please.

Please.

Oh no. I think he's got the runs.

Hello. I'm looking for Colonel Haruman.

Oh no, guys. Not now. Later.

Are you looking for Mr. Harum? -Yes.

He'll be right back. Come.

Don't you remember me?

Name? -Oh, my name? Yudaleh.

Oh... Yudaleh.

Yudaleh, Yudaleh, Yudaleh, Yudaleh, Yudaleh.

Sun, the recruits asleep, yet? -Of course, sir.

For three hours.

Very good. I want them chipper tomorrow for the maneuver.

Chipper's not the word, sir. They'll be lions.

Oh... Yudaleh. Yudaleh... oh.

Come here. My sergeant's coming.

Master Sergeant Gat from Eziyoni thinks I'm a sucker.

He thinks I don't know

that he's preparing an ambush from Mustard Hill to Rose Hill.

Excuse me, sir. You have a mistake.

Mustard Hill is on the right. Rose Hill is on the left.

Sun, stop disturbing me. -Yes, sir.

Sun will take the lead and progress with the espionage troop.

He will report to the command vehicle waiting on Mustard Hill.

Sir, you are mistaken, my dear.

Mustard Hill is on the other side. -Sun, don't interrupt. -Yes, sir.

Sun's division will have the secret name "The Rose Force."

Excuse me, sir. It's "Rose."

Sun, just shut up.

I'll send the soldiers to the point at Wadi Mussa.

What's Wadi Kussa? -Not Wadi Kussa. Wadi Mussa.

In case of a critical situation,

"Rose Force" will go to Rass Bari.

Now get moving.

Now I'll show you the logistics' plan.

God help us. He might get laryngitis.

Soldier, what are you doing here?

Dear soldiers, the biggest moment of your lives has arrived.

It's the moment you've been waiting for a long, long time.

In three hours, the whole base will go to battle.

But we, "The Rose Force," will go first to make sure

the Eziyonis are not planning any dirty tricks.

Kitbag? -Yes, sir.

Do you have the maps? -Yes, sir. -Good.

Guard them well. Without maps, we won't be able to find our way.

Duck? -Y... y... yes, sir.

Do you have the walkie-talkie? Y... y... y... yes, sir.

Enough, Duck. Just say yes with your head.

Good.

A good radio man is important during battle.

Talking like that is what we call communication.

Repeat after me! -Communication.

In two seconds, when my whistle blows,

you all go out to battle and make mincemeat out of Eziyoni.

Mash them like a pile of peanuts, without the shells.

I want you going out singing, like heroes.

Move it. Move it. "The Rose Force."

Dear officers and soldiers. This is your head of command speaking.

This is the day you've waited for and trained for.

When I give the command "Move out," the operation between Sababa

and Eziyoni will begin.

I expect all officers to be bold and maintain purity of warfare.

Good luck!

Move out!

What are we going to do to them?

Rip 'em apart, sir.

What are we going to rip?

Rip up their asses, sir. -Good.

"Sababa"

Who's first in battle? -Sababa.

"Sababa. Sababa. Hey, hey, hey, Sababa."

Where are the Eziyonis hiding? -They ran for the trees.

What are we going to do to those morons? -Bash their balls.

Who's first in fire? -Sababa.

Who's first in battle? -Sababa.

What are we going to do to them? -Rip 'em up, sir.

What are going to rip? -Rip their asses, sir. -Good.

Galit, get me the Rose Force, please.

Rose Force. Rose Force. Do you read me? Over.

Rose Force. Rose Force. Do you read me? Over.

Y...y...y... - Sir ? I think there is interference on the line.

Rose Force. Rose Force. Do you read me? Over.

Y... y... y... - Stop stuttering, moron, and give me the microphone.

This is Rose Force. This is Rose Force.

We feel fine.

Our position is strong. We don't need anything.

We are now located on mile 94,

point 6, as we call it, Neballah House.

Shut up, Sun. Someone could be listening in.

You want the enemy to know exactly where we are?

Just the opposite, sir. I'm tricking them.

I'm saying we're at Neballah House,

but we're really at Jullah House.

Good for you, Sun.

Now check if Route 7 is open for movement.

Right away, sir. Kitbag?

Yes, sir. -Do you see that tower over there?

Take Yisrael and go up to the top.

Check if Route 7 is free of enemy troops. Go on.

So, Kitbag. What's going on? What's it like on Route 77

I can't see anything, sir.

Why? Is there fog?

No. I don't have binoculars.

Why? Where're your binoculars?

You have them, sir.

I have them?

You're right.

But how will the binoculars get up there?

Come on up, sir. Bring them up.

No way. -Why, sir?

I am a weak person.

If I climb a ladder, my blood pressure goes plop.

So what are we going to do, sir?

Maybe tell Duck to go back down.

W... w... why? - Oh, Duck. Stop stuttering and go down now.

Why, are you scared?

W...w... why... w... w... why me?

Maybe you want a parachute?

Eagle 2 to Eagle 1. We are at the ambush at Route 7. Over.

Eagle 1 to Eagle 2. Eagle 1 to Eagle 2.

Wait where you are till all enemy troops arrive.

I want all those Sababa bastards taken prisoners. Over.

Galit, get me Sun. -Yes, sir.

Rose Force. Rose Force. Do you read me? Over.

Answer already, you moron.

Can't you hear that the sergeant is calling us on the line?

Y... y... y... y... y... y...

Galit, what's going on over there?

Sir, I think there is interference again on the line.

Try again. I must send the forces out to the fields.

Rose Force. Rose Force. Do you read me? Over.

Rose Force. Rose Force. Do you read me? Over.

Give me the microphone. Give me the mike.

Hello. This is Rose Force. This is Rose Force. Over.

What's happening on Route 77 -Just a minute, sir.

Catch, Duck.

Go up. Go to the top fast. Go to the top.

Where should I go? -No, not you, sir.

I told the Duck to take the binoculars and get up there.

Stop blabbing and tell me if Route 7 is open. -Yes, sir.

Kitbag? What's going on? Is Route 7 open?

Hey, Kitbag?

It's okay, sir. Route 7 is open. -Good.

Hello. This is Rose Force. Rose, do you hear me?

Listen, listen. What's going on, Sun?

No problems, sir.

Route 7 is open. Kitbag and I have cleared the area.

You can send the forces in, sir.

Good for you, Sun.

Keep your eye on the routes.

Yes, sir.

Poppy Force. Poppy Force. This is the sergeant.

Move the forces to Route 7. I repeat.

Route 7 is open for movement.

Goon.

Everyone hands up!

You are prisoners.

Thirty prisoners?

Good for you. Keep kicking their asses.

Prisoners?

But Sun told me that Route 7 was open for movement.

I'll show him.

Galit, get me Sun. Right away. -Yes, Sir.

Rose Force. Rose Force. Do you read me? Over.

This is Rose Force. This is Rose Force.

What did you do, you idiot? The Poppy Force was captured.

You must be mistaken, sir. No enemy soldiers are on Route 7.

Kitbag checked the map really well,

Kitbag, come here, show me the map.

Which map is this, you moron?

It's all I have left. The other maps blew away in the wind.

This is a map of Europe, moron. Don't you know we're in Asia?

Sun, I want you to move the girls over to Garbage Road.

What's the situation like over there? Over.

Sir, this is Rose. We are checking right now.

Kitbag. Follow me in the snake crawl.

We'll check what's going on at Garbage Road.

Get up, snake.

I'm a snake they call a mole.

Hey, Kitbag. Are you sure this is Garbage Road?

What a question, sir! I was born near the garbage!

I know the place like the back of my hand!

Good.

Rose Force to Command. Rose Force to Command.

The road is open for maneuvers.

Stork 1. Stork 1. Do you read? Over.

Stork reads. Stork reads. Over.

Forward to Garbage Road. -Yes, sir.

Girls, follow me. The frog walk. Forward!

Girls, give it to them. Go!

Girls, don't surrender. Get them in the balls.

Girls, girls. Don't give in.

Girls, girls! Get me down.

Girls, get him down.

I'll kill you! Get me down!

Sun, it's a catastrophe.

Aside from your force and my guys in the jeep, everyone's captured.

Sun, I am retreating. Sun.

Which road is safer? 3 or 57

No problem, sir. We're checking right now.

Kitbag. Kit Bag. I'm speaking to you.

The Master Sergeant asks which road is safer. Number 3 or 57

Five. -How much? -Five.

I heard, you idiot. -I'm an idiot?

No, no. Not you, sir. It's a mistake. Five.

Driver, go straight to road 5.

Sun. Sun.

I'll Kill you. You'll do time in jail by me, Sun.

Duck, what are you doing?

S... s... sir. I'm peeing.

Don't you have any manners, Duck?

I'll show you how a soldier pees on the field. Follow me.

Soldier, if you have to take a leak during combat,

you need to get real close to the tree.

The closer to the tree, the better.

Everybody get close. Take an example from your commander.

You, too, please. Come on.

Hands up. You're captured.

Oh no. Oh no. God help us.

Oh no. Oh no.

I think I'm captured.

Help! I'm running away.

Help! Oh no. Oh dear.

Help! I'm running away.

Oh God, oh God.

Mercy. I'm begging for mercy.

I'm asking you forgiveness.

I'll never do it again.

Excuse me. Hello? You don't understand. I'm a sick man.

I don't feel good. I... sorry, really...

Listen to me. I won't ever do it again.

Hands up. -No mercy? Aren't you Jews?

I'm a weak man. Save me.

I have a wife, a family, kids. I ask for mercy.

My blood pressure is bad.

Please, if you capture me, I'll be demoted. Please.

I want a pardon. I am a sick guy. I have bad kidneys.

I need a release. I need to go to a bar mitzvah tonight.

Don't move. hands up. Don't move. Hands up.

Throw down your weapon or we'll shoot.

How many are you? -An entire division.

With rifles, Uzis and a cannon.

All right, guys, we lose. Throw down your weapons.

Everybody lie down on the ground.

If not, I'll tell the division to open fire.

You think I'm a sucker?

Face to the ground. Don't breathe, and count to 100.

One, two, three, four, five, six...

seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve...

Sun, I'm going to kill you, Sun.

Sir, we brought more prisoners.

Put them in the jail. -This wimp, too? -Sure.

Giora, throw this Mickey Mouse out of here.

Where are we, Kitbag? -I don't know, sir.

Oh no. I hope the wolves don't come out at night.

Maybe we should rest a bit, sir? -No, you can't. We must go on.

Kitbag, maybe carry me on your back? -I can't.

Are you refusing an order? -No, sir. I have a doctor's release.

So maybe you can carry me on your back?

No way, my dear. It's uphill around here.

Besides, I'm a weak guy. I have a bad kidney.

Kitbag, I am a goner.

In four hours, the maneuver will be over and we'll have lost.

Tomorrow morning, at lineup, damn Flechter will demote me to private.

Great! Then we can do boot camp together.

Don't talk nonsense, Kitbag.

By the time I finish boot camp, and become a corporal,

I'll have to retire.

Do you hear that?

Sir, I think we got ourselves a lift.

Stop, thief. Stop.

What's in there, sir?

I think it's the Eziyoni band's pickup truck, damn them.

They're already planning their victory celebration, the bastards.

God help us. What's that, Kitbag?

I don't know, sir.

Oh no, Kitbag. Do something.

We can't stop now, Kitbag.

Sir, I think the motor's dead.

Oh no.

I'm a dead man. I'll Kill myself.

Kitbag. Give me your belt. -Why, Sir?

I'm going to hang myself.

Kitbag. Give me a boost.

Sir, it isn't worth committing suicide over this.

If I don't commit suicide, tomorrow that damn Flechter will kill me.

Kitbag, give me your belt. Quick.

I'm not giving it to you. Use your own belt.

You think I'm a sucker?

Men, pay attention to the prisoners.

Don't let them eat till morning.

Kitbag. Come quick. Go up there, Kitbag.

Look at this!

What happened? - Kitbag, do you see Eziyoni's camp there?

Sure.

You sure it's Eziyoni's camp? -Sure, I'm sure.

Don't you see our prisoners there?

We're going to free them. Right now, Kitbag.

But how, sir? We don't have any weapons.

We don't need weapons. Come quick to the pickup truck.

Kitbag, come here.

Kitbag. Put this on. Put it on, fast.

Hello. My name is Dalia. My mom and I were driving in the car.

We had a little accident. My mom is injured.

Can you help us out? -Where is she? -Over there. Come.

Where does it hurt? -Here, in the stomach.

Oh... Come on Kitbag. Hurry up!

Kitbag. We have to find Duck.

I'm going to call the guard, sir. -Go on.

Psst... -Who's there?-My name is Dalia.

Who are you talking to? -Hello. -What a hot chick. -Yeah, babe.

Guys, want to have some fun? -Sure!

Okay. One at a time.

You go first.

Come here. You want a kiss? So close your eyes.

Now.

One down. -There's another soldier. -Get him over here quick.

Now? -Quick. Bring him to me real fast.

Where's my friend? -He went to get dressed.

Come here, my little soldier. Want a kiss? -Yes.

Close your eyes.

Now. -What? -I'll show you what, you son of a bitch.

Come on, Kitbag. Crawl after me.

Sir, here is Duck Let's get him freed.

Duck. Duck! Get up!

I'm tired. Tired. Tired. -Stop stuttering you idiot. Get up!

Is... is... Is... is it you, sir? And... and... and you, Kitbag?

Why are you dressed up? -We came to free you, idiot.

Now, you've got 2 seconds to free all the prisoners.

Got it? - Y... y... yes, Sir.

Kitbag and me are going to look for the flag. Come on, Kitbag.

Ouch! Who stepped on my stomach?

Sorry, doc. It was an accident.

What are you doing here, Sinner? -Doc, I told you a thousand times.

My name is Sun. - know your name is Sunny boy.

Doctor, we've come to rescue you.

Fast, Duck. Free all the prisoners. We're going to find the flag.

Doctor, take this. Hurry up. Come quickly!

What are you doing here, girls?

We live around here and we just love soldiers.

So we thought to come down and take a look.

You like soldiers, too? - I like heroes.

So you've come to the right place. Come into the tent.

We'll have a little party. -No, no. We're hurrying home.

Don't worry. We'll take you home afterwards in our jeep.

No. My mother is waiting for me. -Come on, sweetheart. Get in.

Zorro, put on some music. Let's dance.

What's your name? -Me? Dalia.

Okay. And you? -Shush it.

You came just at the right time.

In a few hours, the maneuver will be over and we'll be the winners.

We can start the party right now.

Come on. Come on.

Eziyoni crap.

Goddammit it.

Stop!,

My mom doesn't allow anything like that.

Eziyoni, crap.

It doesn't seem right in front of everybody.

Oh, no problem.

Zorro.

Take the old goat outside and leave me alone with the blonde.

Yes, sir.

Come outside, sweetheart.

Why outside? -Because my officer wants to be alone with your friend.

Am I good for you? -Stop. That's enough.

What now? -I'm shy when the light's on.

Let's turn off the light before we get into bed.

Bravo. I like a girl with a head on her shoulders.

You're a great kisser.

Can you kiss my stomach?

Shit, he wants to give me a French kiss.

Sun, all the prisoners are free.

What about the Eziyoni soldiers?

They... they... they... are all tied up, sir.

Well, are you naked already? -Okay. You can turn on the light.

I got you, my sweetheart.

You are taken captive. -What's going on here?

You've fallen into our hands, sweetheart. You're our prisoner.

Don't fool around. My soldiers will be here any second.

Your soldiers are all tied up. One by one.

They're prisoners.

Duck, tie him up.

Now tell us where's the flag.

I'm not telling you anything.

In two hours, the maneuver will be over and the flag stays by me.

If you don't talk in two seconds. I'll shoot you.

You can shoot me. I'm not talking.

I'll just tell you my service number.

Sir, maybe you should slap him around a bit.

No, that's not good. He'd pass out and we'll never find the flag.

You'll never find out where the flag is.

And the flag will remain forever in the Eziyoni camp.

Doctor, do you have a shot that reveals secrets?

I have something much better than a shot.

In just one minute, he'll tell all his secrets.

Duck, turn him over.

Turn around, dog. -Yudaleh, take off his pants.

For the last time, are you going to tell us where the flag is?

I'll only tell you my service number.

237181, -Don't interrupt.

Now, don't breathe.

So, where's the flag?

I'll tell you where the flag is. I'll tell you. I will.

"Sababa, Sababa. Hey, hey, Sababa.

"Sababa, Sababa, Hey, hey, Sababa.

"Sababa."

We won! We won! The flag is in our hands!

We won.

Forward, march! Attention.

Flechter, did you mess up, again?

Sun, we lost again. All because of you.

From tomorrow, you're a private! -You're mistaken, darling.

I'm not the reason we lost. I'm the reason we won!

Please.

What's happening here?

Which force did the job?

My force, sir.

Which force is that? -The Rose Force.

Careful, sir. You almost stabbed me in the heart.

Sun, tomorrow we're getting our marriage license. -No need, love.

But you promised once boot camp was over.

In the paper, I read that every second couple gets divorced.

Let's not waste money on a wedding and then get divorced. What for?

I'm going to give you what for, Sun!

Kitbag, do drill number four!

"Sababa"

Subtitle production: Elrom Studios