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WWW.MY-SUBS.COM
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You've got a problem.
2
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This is our district-nurse governor;
Hilary Richards.
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And Bob Matthias;
the general-practice adviser to the PCT.
4
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Oh; and Louisa Glasson; the lay member.
5
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- Well; shall we go through?
- Yeah.
6
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Yeah.
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Any further questions?
8
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Apart from; "What have we done
to deserve so eminent an applicant?" Eh?
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- Good. So...
- (Louisa) Sorry; can I just ask...
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How would you describe
your interpersonal skills?
11
00:01:58,800 --> 00:02:01,712
I've been a surgeon for 12 years.
12
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Ran a team of senior registrars at St John's.
Think that speaks for itself.
13
00:02:06,640 --> 00:02:11,077
The image of a surgeon is someone
who deals with cases rather than individuals;
14
00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:12,952
bodies rather than people.
15
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My work is with the patients.
That's nothing but dealing with bodies.
16
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People.
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00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:26,675
If you want to be a GP in our village; social skills
and a good bedside manner are essential.
18
00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:29,837
Louisa; I think that
Dr Ellingham is more than qualified.
19
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(Louisa) To alienate people; perhaps.
20
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Nothing I've seen of him so far convinces me
that he's a proper replacement for Dr Sim.
21
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Martin.
22
00:02:49,640 --> 00:02:51,392
Mart!
23
00:02:53,760 --> 00:02:56,752
You cross the line
just once in Portwenn; and...
24
00:02:58,320 --> 00:03:02,518
- Will you stop that?
- Is the vision a little blurred in that eye?
25
00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:04,710
Yes.
26
00:03:04,840 --> 00:03:08,992
- Fixed; semidilated pupil. Bit of pain?
- Sometimes. What?
27
00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:11,475
It's acute glaucoma.
28
00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:14,956
- You're kidding?
- No. You should see an eye specialist today.
29
00:03:15,080 --> 00:03:16,798
(man) Martin!
30
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Excuse me.
31
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Here's to Dr Ellingham;
our new man in Portwenn.
32
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(all) Dr Ellingham.
33
00:04:43,080 --> 00:04:45,913
Er... what do you want?
34
00:04:46,040 --> 00:04:48,952
Go away. Go away.
35
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- Go!
- (whimpers)
36
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(man) What's he gone and done?
37
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Parked it down there at low tide!
38
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(laughter)
39
00:05:43,880 --> 00:05:45,836
(man) Charlie.
40
00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:55,076
Are you Doc Martin?
41
00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:57,589
No. No; I'm Dr Ellingham.
42
00:05:58,920 --> 00:06:00,717
I'm Elaine.
43
00:06:00,840 --> 00:06:02,717
That must be nice for you.
44
00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:06,389
- Practice receptionist.
- Oh; right. I'm not hiring yet.
45
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I've come from Delabole.
46
00:06:09,960 --> 00:06:11,951
Is that far?
47
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I've come from Delabole!
48
00:06:14,560 --> 00:06:17,711
There's no point in going
then coming back later.
49
00:06:17,840 --> 00:06:20,115
Might as well just start now; innit?
50
00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:22,151
Careful; careful!
51
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Let me... Give me that.
Go on. In you go.
52
00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:28,716
(phone rings)
53
00:06:34,320 --> 00:06:36,959
- How are you feeling today?
- Fine.
54
00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:40,516
No ringing in the ears?
Ellingham.
55
00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:43,473
Hang on. It's for you.
I'm not here.
56
00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:47,388
- Elaine's not here.
- Wait; hold on. Is that Greg?
57
00:06:47,520 --> 00:06:51,115
Are you Greg?
Elaine for you.
58
00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:53,959
I'm not talking to Greg.
59
00:06:55,080 --> 00:06:56,832
Yeah?
60
00:06:58,440 --> 00:07:00,670
Yeah.
61
00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:07,069
No. Look; you're needy and I'm 26; innit.
62
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Do you mind?
63
00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:42,354
Oh; God.
64
00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:04,437
- Is there any milk?
- One spore or two?
65
00:08:04,560 --> 00:08:08,792
- What?
- It had turned to penicillin. It's in the bin.
66
00:08:08,920 --> 00:08:11,878
Hello? I need coffee.
67
00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:14,958
Elaine; since you're here;
there are things to organise.
68
00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:19,119
- Like what?
- Well; like a new exam couch for starters.
69
00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:20,992
Wait.
70
00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:24,439
Yeah.
71
00:08:24,560 --> 00:08:26,471
- An examination light.
- Yeah.
72
00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:30,036
- A functioning sphygmomanometer.
- Yeah.
73
00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:32,151
What's that?
74
00:08:32,280 --> 00:08:36,671
- It measures blood pressure.
- Yeah. Anything else?
75
00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:39,519
- No; that's all for now.
- Right.
76
00:08:44,040 --> 00:08:46,713
"Milk; biscuits"?
77
00:08:46,840 --> 00:08:53,029
While you're getting that other stuff.
Oh; and Hello magazine. Write it down.
78
00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:57,870
I'm not your personal shopper. I want you
to find me a medical-equipment supplier.
79
00:08:58,000 --> 00:09:01,151
Is that how you treated people
up in London?
80
00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:07,430
No wonder you're down here
with your tail between your legs.
81
00:09:12,480 --> 00:09:16,359
The lads and meself would like to wish you
every happiness in your new home.
82
00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:18,869
Thanks very much.
83
00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:20,911
So.
84
00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:22,513
So.
85
00:09:22,640 --> 00:09:25,712
- You'd like a tip.
- Well; if you're offering.
86
00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:30,516
Tell me something; when the surgeon
stitched up your hernia; did you give him a tip?
87
00:09:30,640 --> 00:09:32,915
All right; mate.
88
00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:36,235
You Doc Martin?
89
00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:40,116
- I prefer "Dr Ellingham".
- (laughter)
90
00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:42,071
There a Mrs Doc?
91
00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:46,511
- No; there isn't.
- Oh; are you lonely?
92
00:10:04,080 --> 00:10:08,039
Gilbert Spencer.
Lieutenant colonel. Retired.
93
00:10:08,760 --> 00:10:12,116
Martin Ellingham.
Doctor. Practising.
94
00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:15,550
- May I come in?
- No.
95
00:10:15,680 --> 00:10:19,514
I'm not open till next week.
So if you don't mind; unless it's urgent...
96
00:10:19,640 --> 00:10:23,633
The last chap saw you when you needed him;
not when it suited him.
97
00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:26,873
Interesting. Do you want
an appointment on Tuesday?
98
00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:28,752
Look...
99
00:10:30,560 --> 00:10:33,518
It is urgent.
100
00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:39,036
- What seems to be the problem?
- Well; it's a difficult issue.
101
00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:44,392
L-I suppose a cup of tea
is out of the question; is it?
102
00:10:46,920 --> 00:10:48,319
Yes.
103
00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:50,158
Well...
104
00:10:51,080 --> 00:10:54,277
It's a problem in the chest department.
105
00:10:55,560 --> 00:10:58,438
A matter of excess weight.
106
00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:03,439
Right. Fewer carbohydrates;
more protein; get some exercise.
107
00:11:03,560 --> 00:11:06,757
- Are we done?
- No; no; no; no. It-it's...
108
00:11:07,880 --> 00:11:09,791
breasts.
109
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It-it seems to be.
110
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- It's not unusual. Perfectly normal for men...
- Normal?
111
00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:18,519
...to have a little breast tissue.
- It's a disgrace.
112
00:11:18,640 --> 00:11:22,076
- Quite possibly. Do you have another problem?
- What?
113
00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:27,194
- Is there anything else the matter with you?
- Is that all you have to say?
114
00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:33,793
Men have breast tissue. Men even account
for some breast cancers. It's perfectly normal.
115
00:11:36,920 --> 00:11:38,672
Wow.
116
00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:42,470
Right.
117
00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:45,876
The medical term is gynaecomastia.
118
00:11:46,360 --> 00:11:51,559
There can be a number of causes -
genetic; environmental.
119
00:11:51,680 --> 00:11:55,434
Could it be something to do with the water?
There have been rumours.
120
00:11:55,560 --> 00:11:59,838
I sincerely hope not or we'll all be needing a bra.
If you'd like to lie down.
121
00:11:59,960 --> 00:12:04,397
Now; look here.
I'm a respected member of this community.
122
00:12:04,520 --> 00:12:07,910
- I did not come here to be ridiculed by you.
- Oh; come on.
123
00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:13,478
- A local man would have known better.
- He's dead and you had no appointment.
124
00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:16,319
For your information;
I did have an appointment;
125
00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:21,230
which I made myself
with the young lady on the telephone.
126
00:12:21,360 --> 00:12:24,193
I shall travel
to Wadebridge surgery in the future;
127
00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:28,598
where no appointment is necessary.
128
00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:29,755
Colonel.
129
00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:32,313
Colonel!
130
00:12:32,440 --> 00:12:34,510
Colonel; please; come back.
131
00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:37,712
I really think
we ought to finish your consultation.
132
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:40,354
(door slams)
133
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Wow.
134
00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:43,916
You're good.
135
00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:51,076
- I'm looking for Haven Farm.
- You Doc Martin?
136
00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:54,909
- No; I'm not "Doc" anybody.
- Yes; you are. You're Doc Martin.
137
00:12:55,040 --> 00:12:58,191
I'm just trying to f...
Oh; never mind.
138
00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:04,350
Yeah; definitely Bodmin.
139
00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:19,116
- Little Marty.
- Auntie Joan.
140
00:14:23,760 --> 00:14:27,196
Some arse tried to run me off the road.
Came at me in a narrow lane.
141
00:14:27,320 --> 00:14:31,279
Are you a man or a mouse?
Those lanes have bags of room.
142
00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:34,312
You'll stay for chicken?
143
00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:38,353
You know; I still can't
get used to the idea of you as a surgeon.
144
00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:41,199
Now you only
have to get used to the idea of me as a GP.
145
00:14:41,320 --> 00:14:45,313
Last time you were here
you got a splinter in your finger and cried.
146
00:14:45,440 --> 00:14:49,433
- I was seven.
- You were 11! And you wet the bed.
147
00:14:49,560 --> 00:14:53,951
Not exactly the stuff of which...
of which...
148
00:14:54,080 --> 00:14:56,275
surgeons are made; hm?
149
00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:58,755
Right; hang on to this one.
150
00:14:58,880 --> 00:15:00,950
There you go.
151
00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:06,908
I always hoped that you'd grow up
not looking like your father; but there you go.
152
00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:10,589
You as stubborn as he is; too?
Yes; of course you are.
153
00:15:12,960 --> 00:15:15,190
- Have you heard from him?
- No.
154
00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:19,233
God forgive me for cursing my own brother;
but he is a bloody idiot.
155
00:15:19,360 --> 00:15:21,510
No; we'll have that one.
156
00:15:22,720 --> 00:15:25,518
- Well; go on.
- Auntie Joan; no. I...
157
00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:28,438
Oh; Martin; for heaven's sake.
158
00:15:30,080 --> 00:15:32,469
(crack)
159
00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:36,438
Right. There we go.
160
00:15:37,560 --> 00:15:39,278
Well; come on.
161
00:15:40,360 --> 00:15:42,999
- So; what went wrong?
- With what?
162
00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:47,193
Well; swanky surgeon in London one minute;
GP in Portwenn the next.
163
00:15:47,320 --> 00:15:49,709
- You're here.
- Oh; don't be ridiculous.
164
00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:53,515
I've been here for 30 years
and I haven't seen you. Was it a woman?
165
00:15:53,640 --> 00:15:56,359
- No; it wasn't a woman.
- Lack of a woman.
166
00:15:56,480 --> 00:16:00,155
I saw two practices; couldn't decide
between them; then I saw Portwenn.
167
00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:02,157
- (laughs)
- What?
168
00:16:02,280 --> 00:16:06,398
When you talk to the locals you might
try and sound a bit more pleased to be here.
169
00:16:06,520 --> 00:16:12,231
Actually; l-l-l-I can't stop. I just remembered.
I just wanted to say hello; anyway.
170
00:16:12,360 --> 00:16:15,193
Martin? Martin; you've got to eat.
171
00:16:15,320 --> 00:16:19,074
I do have a surgery to set up
and I've got to arrange for a plumber.
172
00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:22,988
I'll send the Large boys round.
They'll fix up your plumbing for you.
173
00:16:23,120 --> 00:16:27,910
I'll tell you this. No woman will fix your
plumbing up if you go round looking that pale.
174
00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:30,634
You need to eat.
175
00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:33,832
(man laughs) Oh; dear; oh; dear.
176
00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:38,753
Who put that lot in for you; Doc; eh?
177
00:16:38,880 --> 00:16:40,950
- Whole lot have to come out.
- Yeah; yeah.
178
00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:46,518
I know you've got to make money; and to you I'm
a down-from-town Londoner; but I'm not an idiot.
179
00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:50,838
Hang on to your hat; Doc; I'm just
pulling your chain. That's one of ours; innit?
180
00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:54,555
Have it fixed for you in a jiffy.
No charge.
181
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:57,831
- Thank you.
- Probably just a new tap. I'll try the washer.
182
00:16:57,960 --> 00:16:59,837
Yeah. You try the washer; son.
183
00:16:59,960 --> 00:17:04,317
Here; Doc; I'm not one to criticise;
but you wanna relax.
184
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:07,398
Down here we just go with the flow.
185
00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:10,870
Right.
186
00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:21,036
(clock chimes)
187
00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:32,319
Go away! Go away!
I've nothing for you.
188
00:17:32,440 --> 00:17:34,715
Get... Go away!
189
00:17:37,120 --> 00:17:39,076
(laughter)
190
00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:43,876
Definitely Bodmin.
191
00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:52,236
Bodmin. That's an endearing local term
for "barmy" right?
192
00:17:52,360 --> 00:17:55,670
Well; someone who's Bodmin is...
Well; it's kinda like...
193
00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:58,473
Well; the thing is...
OK; now; what happens is...
194
00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:02,115
- Treat yourself to a noun.
- It's someone who wanders on the moor.
195
00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:06,552
Auntie Annie; she went Bodmin; but she
never went near the moor. Do you remember?
196
00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:09,274
- Going Bodmin is...
- I think I get the picture.
197
00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:13,916
Unless it came from the old asylum in
Bodmin town. Or it could be a literary reference.
198
00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:16,315
What are you going on about; boy?
199
00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:20,797
Old Doc Martin don't want a reference.
No; he just wants to know what it means.
200
00:18:20,920 --> 00:18:26,597
Daphne Du Maurier paints Bodmin Moor
as a Gothic symbol of murder and madness.
201
00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:28,711
All granite skies and howling winds.
202
00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:31,673
You'll be going Bodmin yourself
in a minute; boy.
203
00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:34,314
- Dad! Not that one! No!
- Yeah.
204
00:18:34,440 --> 00:18:38,115
Try it again now.
This happens all the time. Soon have it sorted.
205
00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:41,550
But where's the...
the bloody... whatsitcalled?
206
00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:43,830
- You know...
- I can help you with this term.
207
00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:47,748
The word you're searching for is "stopcock".
208
00:18:47,880 --> 00:18:52,351
Now; not many people know
that there are four kinds of stopcock...
209
00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:54,755
- Will you lend a hand?
- I can't work in this.
210
00:18:54,880 --> 00:18:57,997
- Well; why don't you go home; then?
- It's Greg for Elaine.
211
00:18:58,120 --> 00:19:03,319
Who left the door open? Get out!
Whose is this sodding dog?
212
00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:06,477
- Tell him you saw me and Barry kissing.
- Right.
213
00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:11,037
- Mouth open; with tongues.
- Water damage; that's a beast all on its own.
214
00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:15,551
Hold that and shut up!
You; get off the telephone and find the stopcock.
215
00:19:15,680 --> 00:19:20,629
And you; either get back to Delabole;
wherever that may be; and don't come back;
216
00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:23,718
or go and find a mop
and work out how to use it.
217
00:19:23,840 --> 00:19:26,149
And as for you...
218
00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:39,190
Oh; er...
219
00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:48,077
(vacuum cleaner)
220
00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:53,116
Stray dog.
221
00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:57,274
Doc Martin.
It's nice to meet you finally.
222
00:19:57,400 --> 00:20:01,552
I don't care whether you think
I'm lonely or Bodmin or how far it is to Delabole.
223
00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:03,910
It's just a dog.
224
00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:08,950
(dog whimpers)
225
00:20:13,160 --> 00:20:17,278
Ah; hello!
You must be Dr Ellingham. Excellent.
226
00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:21,757
Susan Brading. Welcome to Portwenn. You
must come up to the Applegarth and see us.
227
00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:24,792
- Thank you.
- Actually; I need to come and see you too.
228
00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:28,071
- I'm not set up.
- Of course not. It's a repeat prescription.
229
00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:31,237
I'll see you when you're ready.
Shall I tell you something?
230
00:20:31,360 --> 00:20:37,310
- You're exactly what this community needs.
- There's one or two people might disagree.
231
00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:40,193
Nonsense. Is that the time?
My husband will kill me.
232
00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:44,791
- You couldn't dash off a prescription right now?
- No; I'm afraid I can't do that.
233
00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:46,990
- Shouldn't have asked.
- Not a problem.
234
00:20:47,120 --> 00:20:50,271
It's just that old Dr Sim
didn't care much for the rule book.
235
00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:54,109
From the state of his surgery;
he didn't care much for hygiene either.
236
00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:58,438
It's just for some of my cream;
you know; ladies of a certain age. Couldn't you?
237
00:20:58,560 --> 00:21:02,758
- Then I'll see you when you're properly set up.
- HRT cream?
238
00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:06,998
- Any problems with it?
- Happy as a sand girl. Whatever a sand girl is.
239
00:21:07,120 --> 00:21:09,793
- Brading. B-r-a-d...
...i- n-g; yes.
240
00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:11,672
OK.
241
00:21:34,120 --> 00:21:36,031
Martin!
242
00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:38,754
Come and give me a hand.
243
00:21:39,880 --> 00:21:42,997
You settled in all right?
244
00:21:43,120 --> 00:21:46,556
- I asked Bert Large to call on you.
- Yeah; he did already.
245
00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:48,955
- Oh; jolly good.
- Not necessarily; no.
246
00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:54,074
Well; he's worth knowing. Apart from
anything else; he's a fount of local knowledge.
247
00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:56,316
Yeah; I bet.
248
00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:59,671
Her name is Louisa Glasson; by the way.
The teacher.
249
00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:02,792
- Yeah; we already met.
- But not successfully.
250
00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:04,876
- Did she say something?
- No.
251
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:10,154
But you were skulking; and nobody skulks
after a successful meeting. Right; come on.
252
00:22:10,280 --> 00:22:15,115
Just for the record; I wasn't skulking. I didn't
know she worked there. I just spotted her.
253
00:22:15,640 --> 00:22:17,596
(door closes)
254
00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:26,277
Elaine; can you get me the notes on
Mrs Susan Brading of the Applegarth; please?
255
00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:29,551
- Why?
- Because I asked you to; Elaine.
256
00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:34,310
It's Lady Brading; actually.
You remember old Sir John?
257
00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:36,954
Did you hurt that dog?
I love dogs.
258
00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:42,791
Yeah; I love them too. I love the way they smell;
love the way they bite you.
259
00:22:42,920 --> 00:22:45,195
Dogs are the best.
260
00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:53,872
- Susan Brading.
- Thank you.
261
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:56,355
Lady Brading always had to call him Sir John.
262
00:22:56,480 --> 00:23:01,508
I don't think she cared; but he was a stickler
for it; even when it was just the two of them.
263
00:23:01,640 --> 00:23:04,757
Especially when it was just the two of them.
264
00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:07,075
How much HRT cream can one woman use?
265
00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:12,991
They reckon that she was calling him Sir John
the night he died; if you catch my drift.
266
00:23:13,120 --> 00:23:15,953
These dates can't be right. Elaine.
267
00:23:17,520 --> 00:23:21,832
- Does Susan Brading know Gilbert Spencer?
- Know him? Only in the biblical sense.
268
00:23:21,960 --> 00:23:26,272
- Do you mean she gave birth to him in a stable?
- They got married a few years back.
269
00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:30,916
- Lovely wedding. Whole village was invited.
- Greg got off with a slapper from Dorset.
270
00:23:31,040 --> 00:23:34,749
- Will you get over it?
- No.
271
00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:37,713
The biblical sense.
Have you not heard of that; Doc?
272
00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:43,995
It's like; I love Al; but not in the biblical sense.
Cos he's my son; if you see what I mean.
273
00:23:44,120 --> 00:23:47,510
- I'm surprised you've not heard of that; Doc.
- Shut up.
274
00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:09,156
(lawn mower)
275
00:24:11,280 --> 00:24:13,032
Colonel!
276
00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:16,597
Colonel Spencer.
277
00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:20,554
You're not my doctor. I'm seeing a chap
in Wadebridge in the morning.
278
00:24:20,680 --> 00:24:23,717
- Right; then. I'll talk to your wife.
- She is out.
279
00:24:23,840 --> 00:24:26,434
She just told me in town
that she's coming home.
280
00:24:26,560 --> 00:24:28,994
Can't help that.
She's not here now.
281
00:24:29,120 --> 00:24:30,872
Fine.
282
00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:40,797
Right. We're going to talk. Or rather
I'm going to talk and you're going to listen.
283
00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:45,675
Then if you want to go to Wadebridge and inflict
your ex-military routine on some poor sod;
284
00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:51,955
I'll drive you myself; but at least I'll have
delivered the diagnosis you asked me for.
285
00:24:52,080 --> 00:24:53,832
Get out!
286
00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:56,554
(Martin) The three of us need to talk.
287
00:24:57,160 --> 00:24:59,594
Please.
288
00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:04,199
- You haven't told your wife; have you?
- Doctor!
289
00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:06,993
Darling; you must be starving; poor poppet.
290
00:25:07,120 --> 00:25:09,680
Dr Ellingham;
would you like to stay for a bite?
291
00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:12,268
(Gilbert) You're late. Again.
292
00:25:12,400 --> 00:25:15,710
Darling. Silly; I told you; I was shopping.
293
00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:19,276
- Did you get the moss killer?
- Oh; darling.
294
00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:22,198
I'm such a fool.
I completely forgot.
295
00:25:22,320 --> 00:25:23,355
Yes.
296
00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:26,790
I'm becoming forgetful in my old age; Doctor.
Is there a cure?
297
00:25:26,920 --> 00:25:28,114
No.
298
00:25:28,240 --> 00:25:33,837
Listen; I've been updating your patient notes.
Your use of oestrogen cream; it's excessive.
299
00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:38,075
Perhaps I use more than it says on the pack.
Makes me feel chipper.
300
00:25:38,200 --> 00:25:40,350
But there can be side effects.
301
00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:45,873
And to be honest - how can I put this? -
we find it smoothes the works.
302
00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:49,037
Well; it looks like rain.
303
00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:53,233
- I think I'd better tend to the garden.
- (Martin) Sit down.
304
00:25:53,360 --> 00:25:55,999
- What?
- Sit down.
305
00:25:57,480 --> 00:26:01,632
- Your husband came to me with a complaint.
- What?
306
00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:05,355
- Are you all right? What is it?
- It's nothing. Really.
307
00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:09,151
All right. I'll tell her.
Your husband has gynaecomastia.
308
00:26:09,280 --> 00:26:13,717
That's a condition
where a man develops chest tissue.
309
00:26:16,440 --> 00:26:18,237
- Breasts.
- Yes.
310
00:26:18,360 --> 00:26:20,191
(Susan) Ah.
311
00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:24,279
The vest in bed?
Why didn't you tell me?
312
00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:29,356
- Not as attractive as I used to be.
- Nonsense.
313
00:26:29,480 --> 00:26:34,190
I want to suggest that there's a connection
between the cream and this condition.
314
00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:36,311
Oestrogen is a female hormone.
315
00:26:36,440 --> 00:26:42,117
It's possible that during intercourse
some may have transferred and; erm...
316
00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:44,670
Gilbert; I'm so sorry.
317
00:26:44,800 --> 00:26:47,473
Oh; dear.
It's not your fault.
318
00:26:47,600 --> 00:26:52,230
I need to do a little bit more research;
but I'm not the first to suspect a connection.
319
00:26:52,360 --> 00:26:55,193
Right; I'll leave you two to...
320
00:26:55,320 --> 00:26:58,676
- You know where I am if you want me.
- Thank you; Doctor.
321
00:27:02,680 --> 00:27:05,831
Afternoon; Elaine.
You're looking efficient.
322
00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:08,110
Enjoy your tea.
323
00:27:08,240 --> 00:27:10,470
What's wrong with you?
324
00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:14,149
Nothing. The day got better.
325
00:27:14,280 --> 00:27:16,874
Patient waiting.
326
00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:21,357
No; there isn't; because; as you know;
I'm not open for business yet.
327
00:27:21,920 --> 00:27:24,070
There's still a patient waiting.
328
00:27:25,560 --> 00:27:28,358
You'd better be dying.
329
00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:30,436
I think I'm growing breasts.
330
00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:32,592
Oh; no.
331
00:27:32,720 --> 00:27:35,837
Oh; God; it's serious; innit?
332
00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:38,190
Oh. Oh; no.
Nothing to do with you.
333
00:27:38,320 --> 00:27:42,518
I had a theory.
You've just proved it wrong. Let me have a look.
334
00:27:42,640 --> 00:27:45,108
- I've been drinking the water.
- I'm sure.
335
00:27:45,240 --> 00:27:48,915
There's something wrong with the water.
No one's admitting it; but look.
336
00:27:51,160 --> 00:27:53,116
(band plays)
337
00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:17,588
- Lady Brading; I've been looking for you.
- We've been looking for you.
338
00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:20,996
Caroline here is our local radio star.
339
00:28:21,120 --> 00:28:23,714
- Call me Caro.
- She's in charge of prize-giving.
340
00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:26,274
I assumed you'd give
the prizes for fancy dress.
341
00:28:26,400 --> 00:28:29,836
- It's usually the doctor's task.
- I just wanted a word with you.
342
00:28:29,960 --> 00:28:35,557
If I don't get inside and toss a few salads;
the committee will hound me out of Portwenn.
343
00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:05,914
- That's interesting.
- Glad you like it.
344
00:29:06,040 --> 00:29:08,031
It's better than that tosh over there.
345
00:29:08,160 --> 00:29:12,711
A lot of old firewood loosely glued
to some litter in the name of arts and crafts.
346
00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:15,400
I like that. Sombre.
347
00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:19,353
Thanks for looking after my stall; Bob.
348
00:29:34,240 --> 00:29:37,357
- Who's the best? Class six.
- (all) Yeah!
349
00:29:38,280 --> 00:29:42,512
Right. Where's the eye patches?
Everyone with eye patches put your...
350
00:29:42,640 --> 00:29:44,392
Ah.
351
00:29:45,240 --> 00:29:47,196
(band starts)
352
00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:52,753
Your diagnosis was right.
They've got me on drops.
353
00:29:52,880 --> 00:29:55,394
- What?
- They've got me on drops.
354
00:29:55,520 --> 00:30:00,196
They're beta-blockers. It should clear up
in a couple of weeks. If not; see your doctor.
355
00:30:00,320 --> 00:30:02,754
I would; but I got off to a bad start with him.
356
00:30:02,880 --> 00:30:06,350
Oh; no; your doctor's a professional.
Am I your doctor?
357
00:30:06,480 --> 00:30:10,439
Yeah. I should have told you
I lived in Portwenn.
358
00:30:10,560 --> 00:30:13,438
- So how are you finding us?
- Irritating.
359
00:30:13,560 --> 00:30:19,271
Apart from the primary-school teacher;
who's; erm; a pirate; it seems.
360
00:30:19,400 --> 00:30:24,076
- You're not at all like I thought you were...
- I've got to go.
361
00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:27,749
Colonel. I wanted a quick word with you
about your gynaecomastia.
362
00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:30,792
- Please.
- It seems it wasn't your wife's cream.
363
00:30:30,920 --> 00:30:32,751
Not here; for God's sake.
364
00:30:32,880 --> 00:30:34,916
Fine.
365
00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:39,272
- What makes you think it wasn't the cream?
- Well; there's been an unrelated case.
366
00:30:39,400 --> 00:30:41,709
Bloody water. I thought so.
Who was it?
367
00:30:41,840 --> 00:30:43,478
- I can't tell you.
- Local fellow?
368
00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:49,197
Young lad. Surfer type. Probably
wished too hard for the perfect... swell.
369
00:30:51,640 --> 00:30:53,278
(Gilbert) Good God!
370
00:30:53,920 --> 00:30:57,230
It's probably not what it looks like.
371
00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:06,868
- What are you doing here?
- Nothing.
372
00:31:07,480 --> 00:31:09,436
- Gilbert.
- Don't come near me.
373
00:31:09,560 --> 00:31:11,755
- (PA) Thank you; everybody.
- Bloody hell.
374
00:31:11,880 --> 00:31:13,916
- Gilbert.
- Susan!
375
00:31:15,440 --> 00:31:18,671
- You told him about me.
- Well; that's not...
376
00:31:18,800 --> 00:31:22,190
Well; at least we know
where your tits came from.
377
00:31:22,320 --> 00:31:26,393
Perfect timing.
Here's our new doctor; Dr Martin Ellingham;
378
00:31:26,520 --> 00:31:31,275
to award the prizes
for the fancy-dress competition.
379
00:31:31,400 --> 00:31:33,834
- Give him a hand.
- (applause)
380
00:31:40,600 --> 00:31:42,670
Doctor.
381
00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:45,633
Your list. OK?
382
00:31:48,720 --> 00:31:51,917
The fancy-dress competition...
383
00:32:04,920 --> 00:32:08,674
Doc; we are live on Radio Portwenn.
384
00:32:09,760 --> 00:32:11,478
You bloody well did.
385
00:32:11,600 --> 00:32:13,875
Oh; shit.
386
00:32:15,760 --> 00:32:18,069
Ellingham!
387
00:32:18,200 --> 00:32:20,395
You tosser!
388
00:32:20,520 --> 00:32:22,511
(laughter)
389
00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:36,355
Have you seen Ross?
390
00:32:37,520 --> 00:32:39,795
I need to speak to him.
391
00:32:41,200 --> 00:32:45,876
How can I explain things to him
if I can't actually speak to him?
392
00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:48,833
Well; at least tell me where he lives.
393
00:33:46,200 --> 00:33:48,668
- Is that him again?
- Yep.
394
00:34:01,760 --> 00:34:03,671
(thunder)
395
00:34:18,680 --> 00:34:21,035
Doc. Wakey; wakey.
396
00:34:25,720 --> 00:34:28,598
Everything all right?
397
00:34:29,840 --> 00:34:32,115
Yeah; fine.
398
00:34:32,240 --> 00:34:35,915
I was looking for whatshisname;
that surfer boy.
399
00:34:36,040 --> 00:34:37,473
- Ross?
- Ross.
400
00:34:37,600 --> 00:34:39,272
- Out here?
- Yeah.
401
00:34:39,400 --> 00:34:43,279
Yeah; he lives in the village.
Come on. I'll give you a lift.
402
00:34:43,400 --> 00:34:46,153
Then we'll get your car sorted.
403
00:34:53,480 --> 00:34:55,675
(Caroline)
This is Radio Portwenn.
404
00:34:55,800 --> 00:34:59,429
And now more on the controversy
surrounding Portwenn Lifeboat Day;
405
00:34:59,560 --> 00:35:03,109
which for many was marred
when our new doctor; Dr Ellingham;
406
00:35:03,240 --> 00:35:05,800
disappointed the boys and girls who...
407
00:35:05,920 --> 00:35:09,310
- You missed the show at the pub last night.
- Really?
408
00:35:09,440 --> 00:35:14,150
- Gilbert got drunk and tried to kill Ross.
- What? Did you have to intervene?
409
00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:19,400
I took the view that a lobster
is not a particularly lethal weapon.
410
00:35:19,520 --> 00:35:22,512
He says he's divorcing Susan.
411
00:35:25,880 --> 00:35:28,155
- You depressed?
- Oh; no.
412
00:35:28,280 --> 00:35:31,909
I've antagonised the village;
buggered up a marriage and crashed my car.
413
00:35:32,040 --> 00:35:34,474
Why would I be depressed?
414
00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:37,876
I'm depressed.
415
00:35:39,120 --> 00:35:44,194
Dr Sim wanted to give me something. I'm trying
the homeopathic route. So I know how you feel.
416
00:35:44,840 --> 00:35:47,673
I've wanted to drive my car
into a bog sometimes.
417
00:35:47,800 --> 00:35:53,158
I didn't drive into a bog. Somebody came at me;
and not for the first time since I've been here.
418
00:35:53,280 --> 00:35:55,475
See; I've had that too.
419
00:35:55,600 --> 00:35:59,036
Sometimes it's like
everybody's coming at you.
420
00:36:05,040 --> 00:36:07,508
- I thought you were gonna...
- I know.
421
00:36:07,640 --> 00:36:09,790
He got out.
422
00:36:11,080 --> 00:36:13,548
Had a good lawyer.
423
00:36:39,800 --> 00:36:42,314
What the hell's going on?
424
00:36:42,440 --> 00:36:44,556
Doc Martin; sir.
Now; don't worry.
425
00:36:44,680 --> 00:36:48,116
- It's all under control.
- Delivery for Ellingham.
426
00:36:48,240 --> 00:36:52,119
Sometimes happens
when we have to repressurise the system.
427
00:36:52,240 --> 00:36:56,279
But no fear; sir.
It's completely normal.
428
00:36:56,400 --> 00:36:59,358
Medical equipment.
You want it or not?
429
00:37:00,400 --> 00:37:03,119
- I don't know.
- What?
430
00:37:03,240 --> 00:37:04,912
Sod off.
431
00:37:06,800 --> 00:37:09,439
Go on; sod off; all of you.
432
00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:11,551
Please.
433
00:37:28,080 --> 00:37:30,196
There you go.
434
00:37:31,120 --> 00:37:36,240
If this kid decides to make it a formal complaint;
there's gonna be nothing I can do about that.
435
00:37:36,360 --> 00:37:39,079
I did not breach confidentiality.
I mentioned no names.
436
00:37:39,200 --> 00:37:44,638
Martin; you led the husband
to the scene of the crime. It's not a pretty story.
437
00:37:45,800 --> 00:37:47,677
Listen.
438
00:37:47,800 --> 00:37:50,030
I backed you coming here.
439
00:37:50,160 --> 00:37:53,357
You backed the wrong horse
because I'm clearly not a GP.
440
00:37:53,480 --> 00:37:56,119
No; I want you to know
I'm still gonna back you.
441
00:37:56,240 --> 00:37:59,312
Martin; let's face it;
you piss people off wherever you go.
442
00:37:59,440 --> 00:38:03,433
Couldn't stand the sight of you myself
for the first few years of med school.
443
00:38:03,560 --> 00:38:06,518
I'm just saying;
what are you gonna gain by moving on?
444
00:38:06,640 --> 00:38:10,997
How will it help the people here if they lose
the best medic they're ever likely to see
445
00:38:11,120 --> 00:38:14,192
because of some stupid...
446
00:38:14,320 --> 00:38:17,073
Oh; Dan; can you please just...
447
00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:22,958
So why don't we just sit tight
448
00:38:23,080 --> 00:38:25,913
and hope all this just blows over?
449
00:38:26,040 --> 00:38:28,235
- Eh; mate?
- No.
450
00:38:28,360 --> 00:38:33,388
Sorry. I'll put things right as best I can;
but then I'm calling it a day.
451
00:38:35,560 --> 00:38:38,154
Thank you.
452
00:38:38,280 --> 00:38:40,316
Thanks for coming.
453
00:38:41,440 --> 00:38:44,910
I just wanted to say;
I could have handled things better...
454
00:38:45,040 --> 00:38:49,477
I'm the one who should be apologising to you;
not to mention Ross and Gilbert.
455
00:38:49,600 --> 00:38:53,070
- Yeah; I hear Gilbert wants a...
- Divorce; yes.
456
00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:55,430
I've been such a fool.
457
00:38:56,360 --> 00:38:58,555
I do love him; you know?
458
00:38:58,680 --> 00:39:00,750
Would it help to talk?
459
00:39:00,880 --> 00:39:05,032
He won't talk.
To be honest; I can't face him at the moment.
460
00:39:05,160 --> 00:39:07,958
What about Ross?
461
00:39:08,080 --> 00:39:12,915
Keeps calling. I've told him it's all over -
long letter - but he won't accept it.
462
00:39:13,400 --> 00:39:16,039
- He'll get over it.
- Yes; he's a boy.
463
00:39:16,640 --> 00:39:20,679
Today he thinks his heart is broken;
tomorrow there'll be good waves.
464
00:39:20,800 --> 00:39:23,075
He'll surf; he'll forget.
465
00:39:23,200 --> 00:39:26,397
And then in a month or two;
there'll be a sultry 19-year-old
466
00:39:26,520 --> 00:39:31,071
who'll let him enjoy her breasts
without giving him a set of his own.
467
00:39:31,200 --> 00:39:34,636
You're going to have to talk to them both.
You know that; don't you?
468
00:39:35,680 --> 00:39:38,672
I don't think this is a good idea.
469
00:39:38,800 --> 00:39:42,190
- I said I'd talk to you. Not her.
- Colonel.
470
00:39:42,320 --> 00:39:44,959
Darling; darling;
please let me explain. Please.
471
00:39:45,080 --> 00:39:48,390
You found someone else.
No explanation necessary.
472
00:39:48,520 --> 00:39:51,592
- Hang on.
- It was nothing. It was...
473
00:39:51,720 --> 00:39:53,711
Just tell me this:
474
00:39:53,840 --> 00:39:58,755
Were you with him
when his car was caught in the tide?
475
00:39:58,880 --> 00:40:01,997
- I hardly think that...
- Just tell me;
476
00:40:02,120 --> 00:40:06,955
because the tide takes how long to come in?
477
00:40:09,080 --> 00:40:11,310
So don't tell me it was nothing.
478
00:40:11,440 --> 00:40:13,874
Can I say something?
479
00:40:16,440 --> 00:40:17,714
What?
480
00:40:19,160 --> 00:40:22,675
Colonel; you still love your wife; don't you?
481
00:40:26,760 --> 00:40:28,910
- Yes.
- Well; there you go; then.
482
00:40:29,040 --> 00:40:32,430
You love her; she loves you.
Problem solved. Mine's a pint.
483
00:40:32,560 --> 00:40:36,519
You know nothing whatsoever
about relationships.
484
00:40:36,640 --> 00:40:38,870
The doctor's just trying his best...
485
00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:41,594
Oh; no; you didn't.
486
00:40:41,720 --> 00:40:43,995
Good God; it's lover boy.
487
00:40:44,120 --> 00:40:48,591
Right. You three caused this problem
and it's only fair that you should sort it out.
488
00:40:48,720 --> 00:40:51,439
- Ross.
- You had your chance with Susan. You blew it.
489
00:40:51,560 --> 00:40:54,438
- I'm going to punch your lights out.
- (Martin) Hang on.
490
00:40:54,560 --> 00:40:57,632
Why don't you go back
to your garden; old man?
491
00:40:58,800 --> 00:41:02,156
- Colonel; Colonel; stop it. Come on.
- You get that one for free.
492
00:41:02,280 --> 00:41:06,353
- Stop. Let's discuss this rationally.
- Come on. Try it again. Go on!
493
00:41:09,080 --> 00:41:12,629
- I didn't mean to do that.
- Just get out.
494
00:41:14,200 --> 00:41:17,078
- (Gilbert) You all right; old man?
- Mm.
495
00:41:19,480 --> 00:41:21,232
I'll leave you two to it.
496
00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:29,596
One stray punch and you're running away.
Oh; for heaven's sake; Marty.
497
00:41:29,720 --> 00:41:33,838
- The lanes weren't wide enough; after all.
- What do you expect; coming here?
498
00:41:33,960 --> 00:41:37,714
I must say; I was hoping for
a slightly more hospitable environment.
499
00:41:37,840 --> 00:41:43,790
Rubbish. If you wanted a chocolate-box village;
go to the Isle of Wight. This is a real place.
500
00:41:45,920 --> 00:41:51,278
You know; I always wondered;
when you stopped coming for the summer;
501
00:41:51,400 --> 00:41:55,439
if you... well; if you felt perhaps
that you weren't welcome.
502
00:41:56,560 --> 00:42:01,634
No; no; I just thought
it wasn't so convenient; that's all.
503
00:42:02,640 --> 00:42:06,110
You... you know
that he wouldn't send you; don't you?
504
00:42:06,240 --> 00:42:09,676
- Dad? Why?
- Doesn't matter now. Far too long ago.
505
00:42:10,280 --> 00:42:13,829
I just...
I just wanted you to know that...
506
00:42:13,960 --> 00:42:17,999
well; you were always welcome.
507
00:42:20,040 --> 00:42:24,272
Here; Doc. I'll have a look under the bonnet
for you. Save you some money.
508
00:42:24,400 --> 00:42:28,234
No; no; no; no; no.
Just tow it to the garage. Thank you.
509
00:42:42,200 --> 00:42:44,760
I'll-I'll telephone you; Auntie.
510
00:42:45,680 --> 00:42:49,878
- Doctor; Doctor; I think I'm growing breasts.
- Call them breasts?
511
00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:53,356
- (girl #1) What's happened to...
- (girl #2) Pervert.
512
00:43:16,240 --> 00:43:19,312
So are you gonna pay me
for this week or what?
513
00:43:19,440 --> 00:43:21,510
What.
514
00:43:34,360 --> 00:43:36,112
Oh; Doc; I...
515
00:43:36,240 --> 00:43:39,277
- I just dropped the car back for you.
- Thanks.
516
00:43:40,200 --> 00:43:42,839
I'm sorry things haven't worked out.
517
00:43:43,960 --> 00:43:46,110
- It's certain; then; yeah?
- Mm.
518
00:43:46,240 --> 00:43:48,993
Well; that's your right.
519
00:43:49,120 --> 00:43:52,430
I was only thinking; if you are leaving;
520
00:43:52,560 --> 00:43:57,918
I was wondering whether you'd kindly see
one or two people just before you go.
521
00:43:59,560 --> 00:44:02,518
- Give me their names. I'll think about it.
- Oh. Thank you.
522
00:44:02,640 --> 00:44:05,996
Well; there's old Jane Carpenter.
523
00:44:06,120 --> 00:44:07,951
She's got lumbago.
524
00:44:08,080 --> 00:44:11,675
And there's Mary Morris.
She's got blood pressure.
525
00:44:12,280 --> 00:44:15,909
And then there's big Lucy Holmes; arthritis.
526
00:44:16,040 --> 00:44:18,110
Little Lucy Holmes; sore throat.
527
00:44:18,240 --> 00:44:21,630
Old Giddens; arthritis.
Young Giddens - lovely boy - diabetic.
528
00:44:21,760 --> 00:44:25,150
- Hang on. How long is this list?
- Well...
529
00:44:25,280 --> 00:44:27,396
Wait. I know what this is all about.
530
00:44:27,520 --> 00:44:32,833
None of you lot can be bothered to travel
to Wadebridge to see a doctor; can you?
531
00:44:32,960 --> 00:44:38,114
- It's a long way to Wadebridge.
- Yeah. It's not really good enough; is it?
532
00:44:41,440 --> 00:44:46,912
Well; the way I look at this; Doc;
is that you need patients and we need a doc.
533
00:44:47,040 --> 00:44:50,316
Now; we don't all
have to love one another; do we?
534
00:45:44,440 --> 00:45:46,635
Evening; Doc.
535
00:45:46,760 --> 00:45:48,512
Evening.
536
00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:02,000
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