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1
00:00:01,393 --> 00:00:04,728
-♪ Look up there ♪
-♪ What do you see? ♪
2
00:00:04,897 --> 00:00:05,820
♪ Nature and stuff ♪
3
00:00:06,007 --> 00:00:07,564
-♪ Like a rock ♪
-♪ And a tree ♪
4
00:00:07,733 --> 00:00:09,991
♪ Oh, the Great North ♪
5
00:00:10,160 --> 00:00:13,587
♪ Way up here, you can breathe the air ♪
6
00:00:13,681 --> 00:00:14,996
♪ Catch some fish ♪
7
00:00:15,165 --> 00:00:16,390
♪ Or gaze at a bear ♪
8
00:00:16,833 --> 00:00:17,516
♪ Wow ♪
9
00:00:17,760 --> 00:00:21,078
♪ Oh, the Great North ♪
10
00:00:21,263 --> 00:00:22,746
♪ Here we live, oh, oh ♪
11
00:00:22,857 --> 00:00:24,172
♪ Here we'll stay, oh, whoo ♪
12
00:00:24,191 --> 00:00:25,932
♪ From longest night to longest day ♪
13
00:00:26,027 --> 00:00:29,486
♪ In the Great North. ♪
14
00:00:31,348 --> 00:00:33,198
(cheering)
15
00:00:35,261 --> 00:00:37,536
Um, sure you don't want
to sit down, Moon?
16
00:00:37,687 --> 00:00:39,204
You've been standing there
for three hours.
17
00:00:39,431 --> 00:00:41,431
Yep, because when Dad
is ready to leave
18
00:00:41,433 --> 00:00:44,359
for my Ten-Year Tobin Retreat,
my ass is out the door.
19
00:00:44,603 --> 00:00:47,379
All right, here we go.
Later, snurbs, it's nature time!
20
00:00:47,531 --> 00:00:48,696
Slow down, son.
21
00:00:48,698 --> 00:00:50,883
Lara doesn't have us
scheduled to take off
22
00:00:51,110 --> 00:00:52,033
until an hour from now.
23
00:00:52,127 --> 00:00:53,368
Ugh, when I turned ten,
24
00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:54,795
all I got was a rental pony
for 30 minutes.
25
00:00:54,889 --> 00:00:57,038
My parents got a discount
because it had a small cough.
26
00:00:57,132 --> 00:00:58,057
I've had better birthdays.
27
00:00:58,208 --> 00:00:59,449
On my retreat,
28
00:00:59,468 --> 00:01:00,726
Dad taught me
that if you speak to bears
29
00:01:00,953 --> 00:01:02,394
in monotone,
they leave you alone.
30
00:01:02,546 --> 00:01:04,304
Ugh, if only that worked
on men at the bar...
31
00:01:04,456 --> 00:01:07,291
is what I'll say when
I'm 21 and living in a big city.
32
00:01:07,384 --> 00:01:08,901
On my retreat, I learned
how to make a compass
33
00:01:09,052 --> 00:01:11,128
using a cup of water
and a sewing needle.
34
00:01:11,146 --> 00:01:12,237
And then I accidentally drank
35
00:01:12,464 --> 00:01:13,847
the cup of water
with the sewing needle.
36
00:01:13,908 --> 00:01:16,466
And then I learned what an
emergency airlift looked like.
37
00:01:16,485 --> 00:01:18,135
I'm already so good
at outdoor stuff,
38
00:01:18,153 --> 00:01:20,487
I can only imagine what
you have planned for me, Dad.
39
00:01:20,639 --> 00:01:23,749
Guess I'll go take one last poop
in a real toilet before we go,
40
00:01:23,900 --> 00:01:25,659
but I'm gonna use
leaves to wipe,
41
00:01:25,735 --> 00:01:27,311
just to get me in the mood.
42
00:01:27,329 --> 00:01:28,570
You guys got everything you need
43
00:01:28,664 --> 00:01:30,981
for your two-day takeover
of the Tobin estate?
44
00:01:30,999 --> 00:01:32,407
Yeah, Dad.
Totally under control.
45
00:01:32,501 --> 00:01:34,000
Don't worry, Beef.
We'll take good care
46
00:01:34,095 --> 00:01:35,335
of the house and Judy and Ham.
47
00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:37,154
I mean, we don't really even
need to be watched
48
00:01:37,172 --> 00:01:38,746
because of, you know, our ages,
49
00:01:38,766 --> 00:01:42,993
but also because we are
not up to anything very cool.
50
00:01:43,011 --> 00:01:45,662
Teen-agers?
More like teen-angels.
51
00:01:45,681 --> 00:01:47,755
I hear you guys, but
just in case anything comes up,
52
00:01:47,775 --> 00:01:49,666
Wolf and I each read
a different parenting book,
53
00:01:49,685 --> 00:01:52,002
and we're gonna see
which method works best.
54
00:01:52,004 --> 00:01:53,503
Well, I read most of mine.
55
00:01:53,597 --> 00:01:55,856
Then Cheesecake showed up with a
Tupperware full of Jell-O shots,
56
00:01:56,008 --> 00:01:57,691
and then, before I knew it,
we had eaten the whole thing.
57
00:01:57,767 --> 00:02:00,268
And then, before I knew it, we
had thrown up the whole thing.
58
00:02:00,287 --> 00:02:02,346
Well, speaking of
"whole things,"
59
00:02:02,439 --> 00:02:05,607
(chuckles) Wolf, can I get you
to fill that pothole
60
00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:06,700
down on the driveway?
61
00:02:06,794 --> 00:02:08,276
Oh, hell yeah!
I'll "F" that "P."
62
00:02:08,295 --> 00:02:10,445
And by "F" that "P,"
I mean fill that pothole.
63
00:02:10,464 --> 00:02:12,356
I am happy
that is what you meant.
64
00:02:12,374 --> 00:02:13,690
Let's move, Beef.
65
00:02:13,859 --> 00:02:15,709
I can't wait to sleep inside
an animal of some sort.
66
00:02:15,861 --> 00:02:17,861
I don't know whether
I'll snuggle up in a badger
67
00:02:18,030 --> 00:02:19,245
or spread out in a moose,
68
00:02:19,306 --> 00:02:22,683
but there's no softer pillow
than a fresh spleen.
69
00:02:24,145 --> 00:02:25,811
All right, I got the spare key
out of the drawer.
70
00:02:26,038 --> 00:02:27,646
Why are you holding it
with a tissue?
71
00:02:27,873 --> 00:02:29,148
-Fingerprints.
-Smart.
72
00:02:29,299 --> 00:02:31,984
I really mean this, Ham,
you could be a famous murderer.
73
00:02:32,060 --> 00:02:33,393
(chuckles) Thank you.
74
00:02:33,545 --> 00:02:34,728
Oh, what do you think
they'll call me?
75
00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:37,397
Hmm. How about the Ham Bam
Killed Ya Ma'am Stabber?
76
00:02:37,549 --> 00:02:39,992
Mm, let's keep thinking.
We'll come up with something.
77
00:02:40,143 --> 00:02:41,809
So, what's the plan?
78
00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:44,830
Because I'm already
fa-ra-eaking out.
79
00:02:45,057 --> 00:02:46,239
Fa-reak not, young Hamlet.
80
00:02:46,392 --> 00:02:48,650
Our plan still rips,
and the plan is this:
81
00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:50,335
We'll act perfectly
for the rest of the evening.
82
00:02:50,562 --> 00:02:52,487
We'll do our chores.
We'll go to bed early.
83
00:02:52,564 --> 00:02:55,174
Then we'll use the fire ladder
to sneak off the roof
84
00:02:55,325 --> 00:02:56,917
and, you know,
go do the exciting thing
85
00:02:57,069 --> 00:02:59,178
that we can't let Wolf
and Honeybee find out about.
86
00:02:59,254 --> 00:03:01,180
Okay, we do all that stuff now?
87
00:03:01,331 --> 00:03:02,906
No, Ham, we do that later,
after bedtime.
88
00:03:02,999 --> 00:03:05,184
Right, right.
Huh, this is gonna rip.
89
00:03:05,411 --> 00:03:08,336
Oh, it will rip, slap and slam.
90
00:03:08,355 --> 00:03:09,763
HONEYBEE: How do I look?
91
00:03:09,857 --> 00:03:11,339
Well, your shoulders
look enormous.
92
00:03:11,433 --> 00:03:12,840
Thank you.
I didn't have any blazers
93
00:03:12,918 --> 00:03:14,584
with shoulder pads in them,
so I cut up a pillow.
94
00:03:14,678 --> 00:03:16,361
The parenting book
I've been reading, Mom-ager,
95
00:03:16,513 --> 00:03:18,088
says you have
to dress professionally
96
00:03:18,106 --> 00:03:19,180
so children know
you mean business
97
00:03:19,274 --> 00:03:20,848
and that
you're not their friend.
98
00:03:20,926 --> 00:03:23,035
Oh, huh.
The book I read, Pal-enting,
99
00:03:23,262 --> 00:03:25,612
specifically says you should be
your kids' best friend
100
00:03:25,764 --> 00:03:27,113
and give them hugs
and a piece of candy
101
00:03:27,266 --> 00:03:28,598
every time
they do something right.
102
00:03:28,692 --> 00:03:31,043
My pockets are absolutely filled
with goodies right now.
103
00:03:31,194 --> 00:03:32,436
I'm like a piñata.
104
00:03:32,454 --> 00:03:34,438
Well, let's go put our books
to the test.
105
00:03:34,456 --> 00:03:36,273
See which one actually gets
this parenting thing right.
106
00:03:36,291 --> 00:03:38,291
Yep. And a lot
is riding on this.
107
00:03:38,444 --> 00:03:40,868
I know we want to be parents
sooner rather than later.
108
00:03:40,963 --> 00:03:43,280
All right, let's go show
Ham and Judy who's boss.
109
00:03:43,373 --> 00:03:45,206
They are. And we're
just their cool friends
110
00:03:45,226 --> 00:03:46,616
who play video games with them
111
00:03:46,635 --> 00:03:49,135
and buy them
literally anything they ask for.
112
00:03:49,230 --> 00:03:51,563
MOON: Dad, before we land,
113
00:03:51,715 --> 00:03:53,381
let me run you through the order
in which I would like you
114
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,883
to amputate my toes
in the event of frostbite.
115
00:03:55,961 --> 00:03:58,812
Sounds good, son.
Oh-- Oh, wait a minute.
116
00:03:58,964 --> 00:04:01,982
Is it just me,
or has our flight stability
117
00:04:02,134 --> 00:04:04,134
suddenly become a bit wobbly?
118
00:04:04,227 --> 00:04:06,136
Oh, yeah, good catch, Beef.
119
00:04:06,305 --> 00:04:07,246
Now that you mention it,
120
00:04:07,397 --> 00:04:08,730
our flight stability
is goofy as hell.
121
00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:11,975
Gonna have to set her down
in Anchorage just in case.
122
00:04:12,068 --> 00:04:13,234
What? No.
123
00:04:13,254 --> 00:04:15,420
Come on, Moon.
Maybe it won't be so bad.
124
00:04:15,572 --> 00:04:19,165
The big city. A million people, a million stories.
125
00:04:19,318 --> 00:04:22,002
Population is
approximately 300,000.
126
00:04:22,096 --> 00:04:24,004
300,000 people,
127
00:04:24,098 --> 00:04:25,655
300,000 stories.
128
00:04:25,824 --> 00:04:27,340
Okay, guys, time for chores. Oh.
129
00:04:27,509 --> 00:04:29,009
It looks like
you're already doing them.
130
00:04:29,161 --> 00:04:31,161
Oh, hell yeah. Chores rule.
131
00:04:31,179 --> 00:04:32,662
Okay, here we go.
132
00:04:32,681 --> 00:04:35,256
That's a candy reward for you
and for you.
133
00:04:35,276 --> 00:04:37,592
And I will offer each of you
a professional handshake
134
00:04:37,686 --> 00:04:40,261
-and my respect.
-And here, we made you this card.
135
00:04:40,281 --> 00:04:42,188
Not because we are trying
to butter you up,
136
00:04:42,341 --> 00:04:44,858
but because we are
extremely well-behaved.
137
00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:46,359
"Dear Wolf and Honeybee,
138
00:04:46,512 --> 00:04:48,512
"Thank you so much for
looking after us this weekend.
139
00:04:48,530 --> 00:04:51,439
It means so much to know
that you are there." Aw!
140
00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:53,458
Two more pieces of candy
for each of you.
141
00:04:53,685 --> 00:04:56,186
Is it just me,
or are we freaking nailing
142
00:04:56,204 --> 00:04:57,370
this parenting gig?
143
00:04:57,464 --> 00:04:59,131
If we're already this good
at being parents,
144
00:04:59,358 --> 00:05:01,207
we could be turning our crawl
space into a nursery in no time.
145
00:05:01,302 --> 00:05:02,526
It'll be a crawling space.
146
00:05:02,694 --> 00:05:04,970
And before long,
it'll be a walking space.
147
00:05:05,121 --> 00:05:07,639
Oh, God, they're gonna be
going off to college soon.
148
00:05:07,791 --> 00:05:09,290
They grow up so fast.
149
00:05:10,052 --> 00:05:11,810
Sorry, guys, but this plane
has been diagnosed
150
00:05:11,961 --> 00:05:13,720
with a case of Wacky Wings.
151
00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:16,039
Gonna need some time
to get her fixed.
152
00:05:16,058 --> 00:05:17,040
Need to stay overnight.
153
00:05:17,133 --> 00:05:18,466
-Huh.
-Huh, what?
154
00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:21,320
Well, the plane seemed to be
running just fine to me.
155
00:05:21,471 --> 00:05:23,655
And then suddenly
we're stranded in the city?
156
00:05:23,807 --> 00:05:25,473
In unfamiliar surroundings?
157
00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:27,159
And I'm totally
outside of my depth?
158
00:05:27,310 --> 00:05:29,161
Yes, that is all correct, son.
159
00:05:29,312 --> 00:05:31,997
Hmm. Father, is Anchorage,
by any chance,
160
00:05:32,148 --> 00:05:34,315
the location of
my Ten-Year Tobin Retreat?
161
00:05:34,335 --> 00:05:36,226
-You figured it out.
-Damn it.
162
00:05:36,319 --> 00:05:37,652
Since you've mastered the wild,
163
00:05:37,746 --> 00:05:40,672
now it's time for you to survive
a harsh city landscape.
164
00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:43,917
So no eating bugs?
No digging a hole to poop in?
165
00:05:44,069 --> 00:05:45,251
Look, I hate the city, too,
166
00:05:45,346 --> 00:05:46,903
but if you ever
get stranded in one,
167
00:05:46,922 --> 00:05:49,181
you're gonna have to figure out
how to survive the night.
168
00:05:49,332 --> 00:05:51,516
Okay, well, I have
a simple one-step plan:
169
00:05:51,668 --> 00:05:53,852
hand me your cell phone
and I'll book us a flight home.
170
00:05:54,003 --> 00:05:56,021
This is
the Ten-Year Tobin Retreat.
171
00:05:56,172 --> 00:05:58,190
Absolutely
no cell phones allowed.
172
00:05:58,341 --> 00:06:00,100
Now, first up,
you're gonna have to figure out
173
00:06:00,268 --> 00:06:01,751
how to get
into Anchorage proper.
174
00:06:01,770 --> 00:06:04,771
I'll give you a hint:
It's big and it's yellow.
175
00:06:04,923 --> 00:06:06,106
Dad, Minions aren't real
176
00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:08,608
and they definitely aren't
gonna carry us into town.
177
00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:10,994
Those guys are super unfocused.
178
00:06:12,097 --> 00:06:13,279
Well, time for us to turn in.
179
00:06:13,432 --> 00:06:14,431
Really? It's only 8:00.
180
00:06:14,524 --> 00:06:16,266
Yeah, I got to rest
these cheeks.
181
00:06:16,284 --> 00:06:19,544
(chuckles) Too much smiling from
how well I was taken care of.
182
00:06:19,696 --> 00:06:20,995
And no need to check on us.
183
00:06:21,106 --> 00:06:23,957
We are gonna tuck in
and drift right off.
184
00:06:24,109 --> 00:06:25,792
Um, parents of the year, much?
185
00:06:25,944 --> 00:06:27,201
Uh, very much.
186
00:06:27,221 --> 00:06:29,446
Let's pour ourselves
a couple parent coladas
187
00:06:29,615 --> 00:06:31,539
and turn on Quebec's Quiche Queens All-Stars.
188
00:06:31,633 --> 00:06:34,134
Ooh, yeah. I hear Frangelica
is back this season
189
00:06:34,286 --> 00:06:35,877
and she's not taking any crap.
190
00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:37,971
Okay, let's switch out
of our pajamas
191
00:06:38,123 --> 00:06:40,290
and into our super cool
badass teen clothes,
192
00:06:40,308 --> 00:06:41,791
and I'll meet you
out on the roof in five minutes.
193
00:06:41,810 --> 00:06:45,887
For what? Oh, wait, right.
The thing that absolutely tears.
194
00:06:45,981 --> 00:06:46,980
(object crashes)
195
00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:48,481
What the hell was that?
196
00:06:48,634 --> 00:06:49,891
(gasps) Oh, no!
197
00:06:49,985 --> 00:06:51,818
Oh, say what-hole?
A bus hit the pothole!
198
00:06:51,970 --> 00:06:55,622
I forgot to "F" that "P,"
and now someone C'd in our "D"!
199
00:06:58,810 --> 00:06:59,751
Is everyone okay?
200
00:07:00,312 --> 00:07:02,421
Yep, looks like we got all
our butts and coconuts intact.
201
00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:04,739
I see you met our friend
Pietro the Pothole.
202
00:07:04,833 --> 00:07:06,166
I know this doesn't
help you much,
203
00:07:06,318 --> 00:07:08,075
but I was just about
to fix that.
204
00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:09,577
Uh, what's with
the flashy getups?
205
00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:11,263
Oh, well, we are the...
206
00:07:11,490 --> 00:07:13,673
-(blows pitch pipe)
-(in harmony): ♪ The Ketchikan-do's. ♪
207
00:07:13,825 --> 00:07:16,083
We're one of Alaska's
many adult show choirs.
208
00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:17,418
Name's Rocky Ritz, Esquire.
209
00:07:17,438 --> 00:07:18,995
I'm kind of the leader
of the group.
210
00:07:19,014 --> 00:07:21,347
And I'm his sister
Jackie Jacqueline II,
211
00:07:21,442 --> 00:07:24,000
and I'm also kind of
the leader of the group.
212
00:07:24,093 --> 00:07:24,943
Oh, boy.
213
00:07:25,170 --> 00:07:26,503
That there's Dink, our baritone;
214
00:07:26,554 --> 00:07:28,429
Liberty, alto;
Contessa, contralto;
215
00:07:28,449 --> 00:07:31,341
last but not least,
we got Sunshine, our soprano.
216
00:07:31,434 --> 00:07:32,934
♪ Hello. ♪
217
00:07:33,028 --> 00:07:36,103
♪ You should all come inside, we can call Triple A. ♪
218
00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:37,347
Sorry,
not trying to upstage you.
219
00:07:37,365 --> 00:07:39,124
Singing just seemed like
so much fun.
220
00:07:39,201 --> 00:07:40,441
♪ I'll make hot cocoa. ♪
221
00:07:40,461 --> 00:07:42,535
I have a very sensitive
singing voice,
222
00:07:42,704 --> 00:07:46,131
so hot drinks are off the table,
but I appreciate the gesture.
223
00:07:46,282 --> 00:07:47,874
And don't worry
about upstaging us.
224
00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:50,026
You were very flat.
Just kidding.
225
00:07:50,028 --> 00:07:51,136
But you were very flat.
226
00:07:51,287 --> 00:07:52,471
Now that these guys are here,
227
00:07:52,698 --> 00:07:55,623
how is our plan supposed
to rip or slap or slam?
228
00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:57,458
-Are you kidding me, Ham?
-This helps the ripping
229
00:07:57,478 --> 00:07:59,460
and also the slamming
and the slapping.
230
00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:01,146
Now Wolf and Honeybee
will be so distracted,
231
00:08:01,297 --> 00:08:02,797
they won't have
any idea what we're up to.
232
00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:04,557
Okay, but we better
keep it quiet
233
00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:05,800
around the shiny grandparents.
234
00:08:05,894 --> 00:08:08,378
These pitches
seem like snitches.
235
00:08:08,396 --> 00:08:11,806
TAXI DRIVER:All right, you decided where youwant me to let you out yet, sir?
236
00:08:11,975 --> 00:08:13,307
Well, Moon?
237
00:08:13,327 --> 00:08:16,143
In the wilderness, the rule
is always shelter first.
238
00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:18,238
So, uh... Oh! What about there?
239
00:08:18,332 --> 00:08:19,664
Glen's Sleep Hut. Pull in.
240
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:21,983
MOON:
Oh, no. No vacancy?
241
00:08:22,077 --> 00:08:22,909
TAXI DRIVER:
Oof, yeah.
242
00:08:23,045 --> 00:08:24,318
I hate to tell you this,
243
00:08:24,338 --> 00:08:25,653
but there's not a single
available room in town,
244
00:08:25,747 --> 00:08:27,897
what with the Beanie Baby
convention going on.
245
00:08:27,916 --> 00:08:29,323
Okay. Well...
246
00:08:29,343 --> 00:08:31,584
why don't we just keep
driving around all night then?
247
00:08:31,678 --> 00:08:33,570
Sure. I don't mind doing
a Snore Tour.
248
00:08:33,663 --> 00:08:36,348
Moon, you may want
to take a look at the meter.
249
00:08:36,575 --> 00:08:37,999
MOON:
$65?
250
00:08:38,093 --> 00:08:39,166
For riding in a car?
251
00:08:39,261 --> 00:08:41,094
I guess we'll just get out here.
252
00:08:41,263 --> 00:08:42,579
Okay, no problem.
253
00:08:42,597 --> 00:08:44,689
Just get inside quick.
There is a guy around here
254
00:08:44,766 --> 00:08:47,100
who thinks he's Linda Hamilton's
character from The Terminator.
255
00:08:47,252 --> 00:08:49,510
He's a little dangerous.
You don't want to run into him.
256
00:08:49,530 --> 00:08:53,347
Okay, I guess we'll just hike
from hotel to hotel
257
00:08:53,367 --> 00:08:55,775
and see if
anyone's got a cancelation.
258
00:08:55,944 --> 00:08:56,943
-All right.
-Hey!
259
00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:58,278
You guys terminators?
260
00:08:58,430 --> 00:09:00,446
-No, we're not.
-Oh, it's the dangerous guy!
261
00:09:00,541 --> 00:09:03,357
-(screams)
-Moon, don't run towards a busy street!
262
00:09:03,377 --> 00:09:05,268
I got your stuff, Terminators!
263
00:09:05,287 --> 00:09:07,604
Take that,
you big metal sacks of crap!
264
00:09:07,697 --> 00:09:10,382
Great. Now we have no bags
and no place to sleep.
265
00:09:10,533 --> 00:09:11,699
And to top it off,
266
00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:13,367
you haven't even
let me watch Terminator yet,
267
00:09:13,387 --> 00:09:15,461
so I have no idea
what I'm being accused of.
268
00:09:15,614 --> 00:09:18,798
Well, it'll be about
a four-hour wait for Triple A,
269
00:09:18,950 --> 00:09:20,650
so looks like
there's six new babies
270
00:09:20,652 --> 00:09:23,286
for Papa Beaver and Mama Beaver
to care for.
271
00:09:23,305 --> 00:09:24,621
My Aunt Denise always said,
272
00:09:24,639 --> 00:09:26,472
"If you can handle two,
you can handle eight."
273
00:09:26,567 --> 00:09:28,625
She was the griddle cook at IHOP
and was talking about pancakes,
274
00:09:28,643 --> 00:09:30,384
but I think
the principle still applies.
275
00:09:30,404 --> 00:09:32,404
Well, we sure raised
Ham and Judy right.
276
00:09:32,631 --> 00:09:35,389
-Look at them, helping out.
-They really are teen-angels.
277
00:09:35,483 --> 00:09:37,391
So, what are you guys headed
to Death Cliff for?
278
00:09:37,411 --> 00:09:39,135
Actually,
our manager Tallulah died,
279
00:09:39,228 --> 00:09:40,412
so we are going to her memorial.
280
00:09:40,563 --> 00:09:42,730
She died on her way
to a costume party.
281
00:09:42,899 --> 00:09:44,249
Her Joker makeup
got in her eyes,
282
00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:46,142
and she drove right off a cliff.
283
00:09:46,144 --> 00:09:47,327
We're gonna sing at her funeral.
284
00:09:47,495 --> 00:09:49,479
Yep, we're gonna sing
a brand-new song I wrote.
285
00:09:49,572 --> 00:09:51,923
Oh, my God, Rocky!
Shut your lard funnel!
286
00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:53,074
We're singing my song.
287
00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:54,651
Yoinks, choir feud.
288
00:09:54,744 --> 00:09:55,910
They were arguing like this
289
00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:57,929
the whole ferry ride here
from Ketchikan.
290
00:09:58,081 --> 00:10:02,583
And there was no way to...
♪ Drown it ou-ou-out. ♪
291
00:10:02,603 --> 00:10:05,161
Well, Rocky,
why don't we each sing our song,
292
00:10:05,180 --> 00:10:07,831
and then we'll take a vote
to see which one's the winner?
293
00:10:07,849 --> 00:10:09,182
Sing-off? Love it.
294
00:10:09,334 --> 00:10:10,591
(chuckles) Wish we could stay,
295
00:10:10,685 --> 00:10:12,001
but Ham and I
should really get to bed,
296
00:10:12,095 --> 00:10:14,337
because we have, um,
interviews in the morning?
297
00:10:14,430 --> 00:10:17,006
To be doctors at the hospital.
298
00:10:17,025 --> 00:10:18,950
Wow, yeah.
Gonna want to rest up for those.
299
00:10:19,177 --> 00:10:21,435
But Honeybee and I are happy
to watch this sing-off.
300
00:10:21,455 --> 00:10:23,680
All right, everyone,
go put your show outfits on.
301
00:10:23,698 --> 00:10:26,532
-Those aren't your show outfits?
-Oh, no, sweetheart,
302
00:10:26,627 --> 00:10:28,442
we would never sing
in our bus clothes.
303
00:10:28,462 --> 00:10:30,611
Tallulah would strike us dead
where we stand.
304
00:10:30,631 --> 00:10:33,131
That we agree on.
It's showtime, trash bags!
305
00:10:33,282 --> 00:10:34,966
Lube up those pipes!
306
00:10:36,027 --> 00:10:37,469
Huh, I don't know,
something about this
307
00:10:37,696 --> 00:10:40,530
doesn't quite feel like
a haunted doll birthday party.
308
00:10:40,548 --> 00:10:43,290
Well, yeah. Bethany's bringing
the dolls, remember?
309
00:10:43,459 --> 00:10:44,309
Oh, right.
310
00:10:44,460 --> 00:10:45,869
Okay, anything else? I mean,
311
00:10:45,962 --> 00:10:48,204
there's, like, five to seven
of our peers coming to this,
312
00:10:48,297 --> 00:10:49,539
our very first rager,
313
00:10:49,557 --> 00:10:51,708
so we got to make sure
it is, uh, lit,
314
00:10:51,726 --> 00:10:53,300
and I don't want to get ahead
of ourselves,
315
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:55,061
-but it should also fully crank.
-(knock on door)
316
00:10:55,213 --> 00:10:56,470
-Hello.
-Wow.
317
00:10:56,490 --> 00:10:59,157
A bowl of potato chips?
A box of doughnuts?
318
00:10:59,384 --> 00:11:01,142
You guys didn't have to do
all this for me.
319
00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:02,977
I mean, free will does exist.
320
00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:05,312
Anything for the birthday girl.
Am I right?
321
00:11:05,332 --> 00:11:08,649
-Birthday girls.
-(laughs) Now we're raging.
322
00:11:08,669 --> 00:11:09,909
And I brought the good stuff:
323
00:11:10,061 --> 00:11:11,577
a six-pack
of Kim's Hard Chocolate Milk
324
00:11:11,730 --> 00:11:12,837
I snuck out of
my mom's she shed.
325
00:11:12,989 --> 00:11:15,231
Ooh-la-la,
we've got alcohol milk.
326
00:11:15,250 --> 00:11:16,566
We've got porcelain dolls.
327
00:11:16,659 --> 00:11:18,568
Is this what ripping feels like?
'Cause I love it.
328
00:11:18,586 --> 00:11:20,845
Yeah.
Let's burn this mother down.
329
00:11:20,997 --> 00:11:22,830
Well, it's been hours,
330
00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:25,258
and I haven't found us
shelter or food.
331
00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:27,835
What would I do
if we were in the wilderness?
332
00:11:27,929 --> 00:11:29,187
Oh. Of course!
333
00:11:29,338 --> 00:11:30,838
I would get
to a higher vantage point,
334
00:11:30,932 --> 00:11:32,691
so I could have
a better understanding
335
00:11:32,842 --> 00:11:33,858
of my surroundings.
336
00:11:34,010 --> 00:11:35,435
Hmm. (gasps)
337
00:11:35,587 --> 00:11:38,697
Dad, free buffet! Looks like
there's a wildlife theme, too.
338
00:11:38,924 --> 00:11:41,257
Kid, you're too young
to eat here.
339
00:11:41,350 --> 00:11:42,683
-Why?
-Hey, buddy,
340
00:11:42,777 --> 00:11:44,761
can you explain to your kid
why he can't come in?
341
00:11:44,854 --> 00:11:47,980
There are naked women in there
dancing around on a stage.
342
00:11:48,132 --> 00:11:49,356
Oh, is that all?
343
00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:51,601
I can eat spaghetti
with my eyes closed, no problem.
344
00:11:51,694 --> 00:11:55,438
MOON:
All right, well, the least we could do is warm up.
345
00:11:55,457 --> 00:11:57,106
I'm gonna use my primary flint
346
00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:58,883
to make a fire
in this garbage can.
347
00:11:59,035 --> 00:12:00,460
Son, don't even think about it.
348
00:12:00,554 --> 00:12:03,555
Starting a trash fire
is a real garbage move.
349
00:12:03,782 --> 00:12:06,725
(laughs) Sorry, I'm trying out
a little humor at work.
350
00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:09,376
But, seriously, there is
a $600 fine for starting a fire
351
00:12:09,396 --> 00:12:10,803
in a trash can in Anchorage.
352
00:12:10,956 --> 00:12:14,457
(yells in frustration)
353
00:12:14,476 --> 00:12:17,627
I see you, Terminators.
That's my trash can!
354
00:12:17,720 --> 00:12:19,696
-Don't you touch it.
I'm gonna get you! -(both scream)
355
00:12:23,301 --> 00:12:25,485
All right, since I'm six years
older than Rocky,
356
00:12:25,579 --> 00:12:28,229
and six points hotter
on a one-to-ten hotness scale,
357
00:12:28,323 --> 00:12:30,064
-I'll go first.
-Oh, you wish.
358
00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:31,398
You're five points hotter
at most.
359
00:12:31,493 --> 00:12:33,400
-Mama said six.
-Can we just start?
360
00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:35,812
Fine! Here we go.
One, two, three, four.
361
00:12:35,905 --> 00:12:37,830
-♪ Oh, angel, angel Tallulah ♪
-♪ Tallulah ♪
362
00:12:37,983 --> 00:12:40,149
-♪ We're oh so glad we knew ya ♪
-♪ We knew ya ♪
363
00:12:40,318 --> 00:12:43,094
♪ We're so sad you're gone and your spirit's moving on ♪
364
00:12:43,246 --> 00:12:44,670
-♪ Ah-ooh ♪
-♪ You sure will be missed ♪
365
00:12:44,823 --> 00:12:46,705
♪ Oh, I hate that you fell off a cliff ♪
366
00:12:46,858 --> 00:12:48,582
-♪ Ah-ooh ♪
-♪ But now you're up in heaven ♪
367
00:12:48,602 --> 00:12:50,602
♪ Where there's unlimited Slurpees from 7-Eleven ♪
368
00:12:50,829 --> 00:12:52,419
-♪ Tallulah, Tallulah ♪
-♪ Tallulah, Tallulah ♪
369
00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:56,165
♪ We're sure glad we knew ya. ♪
370
00:12:56,259 --> 00:12:57,500
Wow, very moving.
371
00:12:57,519 --> 00:12:59,352
Yeah, I better get
a box of Kleenex
372
00:12:59,504 --> 00:13:02,021
before Rocky hits us with
his remembrance of Tallulah.
373
00:13:02,173 --> 00:13:05,617
♪ Tallulah ♪
374
00:13:05,768 --> 00:13:08,194
All right, you sluts,
let's give it to 'em.
375
00:13:08,346 --> 00:13:09,788
♪ When she'd feel a cold chill ♪
376
00:13:09,939 --> 00:13:11,848
♪ But still needed a thrill ♪
377
00:13:11,866 --> 00:13:14,517
-♪ Tallulah loved ♪
-♪ Cold sweats, hot sex ♪
378
00:13:14,536 --> 00:13:16,352
♪ When you're in danger of frostbite ♪
379
00:13:16,371 --> 00:13:17,796
♪ But she wants to go all night ♪
380
00:13:17,947 --> 00:13:20,706
♪ Nothing made me moan like Tallulah's fun zone ♪
381
00:13:20,801 --> 00:13:23,501
♪ Now she's dead, but she's up in St. Peter's bed ♪
382
00:13:23,653 --> 00:13:25,528
♪ Uh, uh, cold sweats ♪
Big finish.
383
00:13:25,621 --> 00:13:27,288
-♪ Let me hear you grunt ♪
-♪ Cold sweats ♪
384
00:13:27,382 --> 00:13:30,624
♪ Uh, uh, hot sex and cold sweats. ♪
385
00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:35,719
So, mine was way better
than Jackie's, right?
386
00:13:35,812 --> 00:13:37,162
Hmm, okay, okay.
387
00:13:37,313 --> 00:13:39,906
I mean, the answer's pretty
obvious here, right, Wolf?
388
00:13:39,983 --> 00:13:42,575
Uh-huh, it sure is.
The winner is:
389
00:13:42,728 --> 00:13:45,152
Both of you! You should both
do your songs at the funeral.
390
00:13:45,247 --> 00:13:47,897
Maybe you just, you know, make
the second song less sexual.
391
00:13:47,916 --> 00:13:50,066
Or maybe make the first song
more sexual.
392
00:13:50,085 --> 00:13:51,417
-Kind of even 'em out.
-Wolf, no.
393
00:13:51,494 --> 00:13:53,845
-What are you talking about?
-The one thing I know
394
00:13:53,955 --> 00:13:56,181
is everyone deserves
a piece of reward candy.
395
00:13:56,408 --> 00:13:58,666
Uh-uh. I'm sorry, guys,
but I am putting my foot down.
396
00:13:58,685 --> 00:14:01,411
You cannot sing that sex song
at a woman's funeral, Mr. Rocky.
397
00:14:01,429 --> 00:14:04,856
You can't tell me what to do.
I'm singing that song!
398
00:14:05,008 --> 00:14:06,340
Oh, no, you're not. I forbid it!
399
00:14:06,360 --> 00:14:08,935
You can't forbid me.
You're not my real mom!
400
00:14:09,029 --> 00:14:12,197
I hate you! I hate
everyone here! (fake cries)
401
00:14:12,274 --> 00:14:13,106
(knock on door)
402
00:14:13,258 --> 00:14:14,533
Sup, sup?
403
00:14:14,684 --> 00:14:17,093
We're here for the party,
and we brought the... beer.
404
00:14:17,186 --> 00:14:19,612
Uh, who are
all these sparkly old people?
405
00:14:19,765 --> 00:14:21,188
Do they go to our school?
406
00:14:21,208 --> 00:14:23,357
Okay, so Ham and Judy
407
00:14:23,526 --> 00:14:25,618
-are throwing
a secret party in our house. -(distant sobbing)
408
00:14:25,712 --> 00:14:27,045
And based on the sobs I hear,
409
00:14:27,196 --> 00:14:28,863
Rocky has locked himself
in the old outhouse.
410
00:14:28,882 --> 00:14:30,197
You know,
this is the perfect way
411
00:14:30,292 --> 00:14:32,050
-to test our parenting styles.
-Good idea.
412
00:14:32,277 --> 00:14:34,627
I'll go to the guesthouse
and get that party shut down.
413
00:14:34,780 --> 00:14:36,112
Do some of my pal-enting.
414
00:14:36,131 --> 00:14:38,131
And I'll go get Rocky
out of the old outhouse.
415
00:14:38,283 --> 00:14:40,283
He's out of control and needs
a mom-ager's firm hand.
416
00:14:40,302 --> 00:14:43,344
Kris Jenner,
give me some Calabasas courage!
417
00:14:44,139 --> 00:14:45,230
Okay, truth or dare, Bethany.
418
00:14:45,381 --> 00:14:47,624
Truth. But I'll be honest
with you guys:
419
00:14:47,642 --> 00:14:48,625
I'm going to lie.
420
00:14:48,643 --> 00:14:49,734
-WOLF: Hey.
-Oh, God!
421
00:14:49,886 --> 00:14:51,419
Okay, what do we have here?
422
00:14:51,479 --> 00:14:52,979
This looks like
some kind of a...
423
00:14:53,056 --> 00:14:54,814
BETHANY:
Haunted doll birthday party?
424
00:14:54,908 --> 00:14:56,649
Uh-huh. Just as I suspected.
425
00:14:56,743 --> 00:14:59,652
And am I seeing
some illegal alcoholic bevvies?
426
00:14:59,805 --> 00:15:02,396
Okay, party's over.
Everybody, get out!
427
00:15:02,416 --> 00:15:05,141
Is what I would say
if I wasn't open to sitting down
428
00:15:05,160 --> 00:15:08,086
and having a dialogue about
what's going on here tonight.
429
00:15:08,255 --> 00:15:10,814
Now, first things first,
anybody want a piece of candy?
430
00:15:11,574 --> 00:15:14,092
HONEYBEE:
You can't stay in a stranger's outhouse forever, young man.
431
00:15:14,243 --> 00:15:16,820
ROCKY:
Oh, can't I? Also, I'm 68.
432
00:15:16,913 --> 00:15:17,912
Well, you're not acting like it.
433
00:15:18,081 --> 00:15:19,489
Get out of there,
Rocky, get out.
434
00:15:19,582 --> 00:15:21,933
-Get out now!
-Ma'am, you're getting hysterical.
435
00:15:22,085 --> 00:15:23,918
I'm not! I'm in charge!
I'm a professional parent.
436
00:15:24,045 --> 00:15:25,270
A parent who's gonna walk away
437
00:15:25,497 --> 00:15:27,254
so I do not burn this outhouse
down with you in it!
438
00:15:27,349 --> 00:15:29,332
Professional parent! (shouts)
439
00:15:29,351 --> 00:15:32,352
Okay, I consulted the free map
from the gas station,
440
00:15:32,446 --> 00:15:35,614
and I finally figured out where
we can get food and lodging
441
00:15:35,841 --> 00:15:38,099
for absolutely no cost at all.
442
00:15:38,118 --> 00:15:39,951
And here we are.
443
00:15:40,178 --> 00:15:41,344
Huh, the zoo?
444
00:15:41,363 --> 00:15:42,846
Looks like it's closed, bud.
445
00:15:42,864 --> 00:15:44,681
I'm sure we can sneak in.
446
00:15:44,699 --> 00:15:45,865
And it's full of animals.
447
00:15:45,959 --> 00:15:48,627
We can find one to eat
and a few to befriend.
448
00:15:48,778 --> 00:15:50,128
Well, I salute your ingenuity,
449
00:15:50,355 --> 00:15:52,738
but I don't think we should eat
an animal at the zoo.
450
00:15:52,891 --> 00:15:53,873
Ugh! I give up!
451
00:15:54,025 --> 00:15:55,358
This retreat is the worst!
452
00:15:55,377 --> 00:15:57,302
There's nowhere to sleep.
There's nowhere to eat.
453
00:15:57,529 --> 00:16:00,029
You won't let me kill an animal
at the zoo. I guess I failed.
454
00:16:00,048 --> 00:16:01,547
But, Moon, you haven't failed.
455
00:16:01,700 --> 00:16:02,882
You just think
you're at a dead end.
456
00:16:02,976 --> 00:16:05,143
You know, there's not
just animals in the city.
457
00:16:05,370 --> 00:16:06,144
There's people, too.
458
00:16:06,371 --> 00:16:08,629
Are you suggesting
we eat a person?
459
00:16:08,649 --> 00:16:10,206
I mean, I'm not saying no.
460
00:16:10,225 --> 00:16:12,208
I don't mean
finding a person to eat.
461
00:16:12,301 --> 00:16:14,486
I mean finding a person
to help us.
462
00:16:14,713 --> 00:16:18,156
Maybe even
a relative who lives nearby.
463
00:16:18,307 --> 00:16:20,733
Well, I can't just call up
Uncle Brian.
464
00:16:20,886 --> 00:16:22,218
That would be cheating.
465
00:16:22,237 --> 00:16:23,811
This is
a wilderness survival retreat.
466
00:16:23,830 --> 00:16:25,238
Oh, wait. No, it isn't.
467
00:16:25,390 --> 00:16:28,241
It's a city survival retreat.
I'm so dumb.
468
00:16:28,393 --> 00:16:30,727
You're not dumb.
You're just a beginner.
469
00:16:30,729 --> 00:16:34,564
Symbiosis exists in nature,
and it exists in the city, too.
470
00:16:34,657 --> 00:16:37,917
Only, we usually call it
"mooching a friend's couch
471
00:16:38,069 --> 00:16:39,827
in exchange for some bad weed."
472
00:16:39,921 --> 00:16:41,237
So, I guess the next step
473
00:16:41,256 --> 00:16:43,848
is to figure out
Uncle Brian's address.
474
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:46,259
Should we break into
a nearby house
475
00:16:46,335 --> 00:16:48,261
and force them
to let us use their Internet?
476
00:16:48,413 --> 00:16:51,648
Or we could try nature's
Internet: a phone booth.
477
00:16:55,086 --> 00:16:56,252
So you didn't shut down
the party?
478
00:16:56,345 --> 00:16:57,696
No, I was too friendly.
479
00:16:57,906 --> 00:17:00,347
I'm pretty sure I invited them
back tomorrow for another one.
480
00:17:00,442 --> 00:17:01,925
And I couldn't get Rocky
to budge.
481
00:17:01,927 --> 00:17:03,368
Turns out parenting
is harder than it looks.
482
00:17:03,519 --> 00:17:05,370
How did my parents
get me and Jerry to do stuff?
483
00:17:05,521 --> 00:17:08,598
Maybe we should dress up like
old Scottish nannies together.
484
00:17:08,691 --> 00:17:09,615
Do a Doubtfire?
485
00:17:09,768 --> 00:17:11,543
Ah, Wolf, together! That's it!
486
00:17:11,770 --> 00:17:14,328
That's what we've been missing.
My parents would do it together.
487
00:17:14,439 --> 00:17:16,439
My mom was strict,
my dad was more of a softy.
488
00:17:16,458 --> 00:17:18,416
But when they blended
their styles, it totally worked.
489
00:17:18,643 --> 00:17:22,111
Yes! We'll blend our mom-ager
and pal-enting techniques.
490
00:17:22,205 --> 00:17:24,205
But let's also do
the Doubtfire thing, too.
491
00:17:24,224 --> 00:17:26,182
I know we have two wigs.
492
00:17:27,394 --> 00:17:29,118
Okay, now that we got
everyone out of here,
493
00:17:29,137 --> 00:17:30,954
you want to tell us
what was going on here tonight?
494
00:17:30,972 --> 00:17:33,898
I love the spooky vibe, but
I don't love your spooky lies.
495
00:17:34,050 --> 00:17:36,142
Sneaking around and lying to us?
Why?
496
00:17:36,236 --> 00:17:38,219
Come on, Wolf, don't act
like you and Cheesecake
497
00:17:38,313 --> 00:17:40,463
wouldn't get rowdy from time
to time back in high school.
498
00:17:40,482 --> 00:17:42,482
Nuh-uh, young lady,
this isn't about Cheesecake.
499
00:17:42,576 --> 00:17:44,317
Tonight could have gone
really wrong.
500
00:17:44,411 --> 00:17:45,893
Kids and alcohol on our watch?
501
00:17:45,987 --> 00:17:47,804
What if somebody
had gotten really drunk?
502
00:17:47,806 --> 00:17:49,155
Or gotten a tattoo?
503
00:17:49,307 --> 00:17:51,157
Or what if one of these dolls
really was haunted
504
00:17:51,251 --> 00:17:52,917
and just started strangling
people left and right
505
00:17:53,144 --> 00:17:54,735
with its little porcelain hands?
506
00:17:54,755 --> 00:17:56,479
Ugh, we're sorry.
507
00:17:56,572 --> 00:17:58,164
Bethany mentioned that
her parents weren't gonna host
508
00:17:58,316 --> 00:18:00,833
the haunted doll birthday party
that she wanted, so I said,
509
00:18:00,927 --> 00:18:02,318
"Hey, we can have it
at our place
510
00:18:02,411 --> 00:18:03,536
while our dad is out of town."
511
00:18:03,688 --> 00:18:05,412
I mean, I actually said,
"Let's rage."
512
00:18:05,432 --> 00:18:07,156
And then I said, "Let's rip."
513
00:18:07,175 --> 00:18:09,993
I guess I understand,
but with Dad gone this weekend,
514
00:18:10,011 --> 00:18:11,160
we were kind of, you know,
515
00:18:11,179 --> 00:18:12,920
hoping you'd treat us
like parents.
516
00:18:12,939 --> 00:18:15,331
We did.
You don't tell the parents.
517
00:18:15,350 --> 00:18:19,260
Oh, so maybe that means
we actually did an okay job?
518
00:18:19,354 --> 00:18:20,837
Yeah, you guys did great.
519
00:18:20,855 --> 00:18:22,447
I mean,
I don't really understand
520
00:18:22,598 --> 00:18:23,856
why you're wearing wigs.
521
00:18:23,950 --> 00:18:25,599
Oh, we were doing
a double Doubtfire.
522
00:18:25,619 --> 00:18:27,935
Just trying to have a little fun
with the whole parenting thing.
523
00:18:27,996 --> 00:18:29,512
Oh, right. Yeah, love it.
524
00:18:29,531 --> 00:18:32,348
Okay, well, we forgive you guys
for this, but, uh...
525
00:18:32,367 --> 00:18:34,292
-It can never happen again.
-That's right.
526
00:18:34,443 --> 00:18:35,776
And you got to clean up in here.
527
00:18:35,796 --> 00:18:37,295
-But I'll help.
-Wolf, no.
528
00:18:37,522 --> 00:18:40,189
But I won't help.
But we, uh, still love you?
529
00:18:40,208 --> 00:18:42,191
-Right?
-Yes, of course we still love you.
530
00:18:42,210 --> 00:18:43,042
Now get to work.
531
00:18:43,286 --> 00:18:44,969
We got to go get
a sequined senior
532
00:18:45,196 --> 00:18:46,212
out of the outhouse.
533
00:18:46,364 --> 00:18:47,955
Wait, is that
Kim's Hard Chocolate Milk?
534
00:18:48,049 --> 00:18:50,624
-Yes.
-Oh, this stuff absolutely rips.
535
00:18:50,644 --> 00:18:51,810
I'm taking these.
536
00:18:51,961 --> 00:18:53,961
WOLF:
Rocky? It's Honeybee and Wolf.
537
00:18:53,980 --> 00:18:55,963
Listen, Rocky. You got to get
out of there, or--
538
00:18:55,982 --> 00:19:00,134
Or, as I was saying, why don't
you tell us how you're feeling?
539
00:19:00,153 --> 00:19:03,137
Guys, I'm not just upset about
Jackie singing her song.
540
00:19:03,156 --> 00:19:05,824
I'm upset about
Tallulah being gone.
541
00:19:06,051 --> 00:19:08,051
You probably couldn't tell
from my little ditty,
542
00:19:08,219 --> 00:19:10,477
but Tallulah and I
were involved sexually.
543
00:19:10,497 --> 00:19:13,665
When she drove off the road,
she was on her way to meet me
544
00:19:13,741 --> 00:19:14,740
at a Batman sex party.
545
00:19:14,893 --> 00:19:16,059
I'm sure you've heard of those.
546
00:19:16,077 --> 00:19:17,076
We have not.
547
00:19:17,203 --> 00:19:18,728
But I can tell
you're hurting, Rocky.
548
00:19:18,746 --> 00:19:20,079
However,
I do think Jackie's song
549
00:19:20,173 --> 00:19:22,248
was a touch more appropriate
for a funeral.
550
00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:25,234
Maybe you can sing your song
at the funeral after-party.
551
00:19:25,253 --> 00:19:27,086
(sighs) I guess
that would be all right.
552
00:19:27,180 --> 00:19:28,346
Ooh, a piece of candy.
553
00:19:28,573 --> 00:19:29,496
See? It works.
554
00:19:29,591 --> 00:19:31,424
"Tobin, Brian"!
I found Uncle Brian!
555
00:19:31,576 --> 00:19:33,259
Good job, son.
Just rip that page out
556
00:19:33,411 --> 00:19:35,002
-'cause we got to
get out of here. -Why?
557
00:19:35,021 --> 00:19:36,429
-Oh, no, he's back.
-Hey!
558
00:19:36,581 --> 00:19:38,857
-Terminators! I found you!
-Come on, Moon, let's go.
559
00:19:38,933 --> 00:19:40,174
And now I'm gonna kill you!
560
00:19:40,343 --> 00:19:43,111
It's judgment day,
you little metal freaks!
561
00:19:43,864 --> 00:19:46,030
(door creaks open)
562
00:19:48,184 --> 00:19:51,110
Rocky, thank you
for coming back inside.
563
00:19:51,262 --> 00:19:52,595
Do you have something
you want to say to Jackie?
564
00:19:52,614 --> 00:19:56,115
(sighs) Your song is more
appropriate for the funeral.
565
00:19:56,267 --> 00:19:59,118
Thank you, Rocky.
I know you loved Tallulah.
566
00:19:59,270 --> 00:20:00,286
It was more of a lust.
567
00:20:00,438 --> 00:20:04,031
A constant, terrible,
inescapable lust.
568
00:20:04,050 --> 00:20:06,109
Okay. Either way,
I'm sure you miss her.
569
00:20:06,202 --> 00:20:07,960
But she wouldn't want us
to fight. She'd want us to...
570
00:20:08,113 --> 00:20:11,297
-(blows pitch pipe)
-ALL: ♪ Sing. ♪ -(phone buzzes)
571
00:20:11,449 --> 00:20:13,040
Oh, thank God, Triple A is here.
572
00:20:13,059 --> 00:20:15,118
Or should I say "Triple Yay"?
573
00:20:15,136 --> 00:20:17,562
Okay. Ketchikan-do's,
out of your show outfits
574
00:20:17,713 --> 00:20:19,972
and into your
roadside repair ensembles.
575
00:20:20,125 --> 00:20:20,732
Go, go, go.
576
00:20:20,883 --> 00:20:22,141
Take care, guys.
577
00:20:22,293 --> 00:20:24,051
It's so hard
to watch them leave.
578
00:20:24,070 --> 00:20:26,129
It's okay. They're big kids now.
579
00:20:26,147 --> 00:20:27,888
I think we did
a pretty okay job,
580
00:20:27,982 --> 00:20:29,298
but I also think our crawl space
581
00:20:29,317 --> 00:20:32,818
shouldn't become
a crawling space anytime soon.
582
00:20:32,971 --> 00:20:34,895
For babies or drunk teenagers.
583
00:20:35,064 --> 00:20:36,656
Yeah, I'm hitting snooze
on my biological clock
584
00:20:36,750 --> 00:20:37,898
for a few years.
585
00:20:37,992 --> 00:20:39,976
Bye, guys.
We'll never forget you.
586
00:20:39,994 --> 00:20:42,069
-Bye! Oh, wait, is that...
-Ham!
587
00:20:42,088 --> 00:20:43,421
-Get off the bus!
-Oh, crap.
588
00:20:43,572 --> 00:20:45,957
You know I always do
what everyone else is doing.
589
00:20:46,109 --> 00:20:47,500
Okay, sluts,
let's give it to 'em.
590
00:20:47,594 --> 00:20:49,986
♪ When she'd feel a cold chill ♪
591
00:20:50,079 --> 00:20:52,246
♪ But still need a thrill ♪
592
00:20:52,340 --> 00:20:56,601
♪ Tallulah loved cold sweats and hot sex ♪
593
00:20:56,752 --> 00:20:59,253
♪ When you're in danger of frostbite ♪
594
00:20:59,272 --> 00:21:01,514
♪ But she wants to go all night ♪
595
00:21:01,666 --> 00:21:06,277
♪ Nothing made me moan like Tallulah's fun zone ♪
596
00:21:06,429 --> 00:21:09,948
-♪ Now she's dead ♪
-♪ Now she's dead ♪
597
00:21:10,099 --> 00:21:14,452
♪ But she's up in St. Peter's bed ♪
598
00:21:14,679 --> 00:21:15,954
♪ Giving him ♪
599
00:21:16,139 --> 00:21:17,956
♪ Cold sweats and hot sex. ♪
600
00:21:18,107 --> 00:21:19,682
Captioning sponsored by
BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT
601
00:21:19,775 --> 00:21:21,417
and TOYOTA.
602
00:21:21,467 --> 00:21:26,017
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