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1
00:00:07,674 --> 00:00:10,984
♪ LA LA LA LA LA LA LA ♪
2
00:00:11,044 --> 00:00:12,084
♪ LA LA LA LA ♪
3
00:00:12,145 --> 00:00:14,605
♪ BUM BUM BUM BUM
BUM BUM BUM BUM ♪
4
00:00:14,681 --> 00:00:16,251
♪ LA LA LA LA ♪
5
00:00:16,316 --> 00:00:18,846
♪ LA LA LA LA LA LA LA ♪
6
00:00:18,918 --> 00:00:23,088
♪ LA LA LA LA LA ♪
7
00:00:23,156 --> 00:00:25,126
[CRYING]
8
00:00:25,191 --> 00:00:27,631
[SIGHS] WHAT'S
THE MATTER, MOTHER?
9
00:00:27,694 --> 00:00:30,104
OH...NOTHING.
10
00:00:30,163 --> 00:00:31,533
[SNIFFLES, SOBS]
11
00:00:31,598 --> 00:00:33,698
I SWEAR, IF YOU DON'T
STOP CRYING,
12
00:00:33,767 --> 00:00:35,137
I'M GOING TO HAUL OFF AND--
13
00:00:35,201 --> 00:00:36,601
TRY IT. I'LL BREAK
YOUR ARM OFF
14
00:00:36,669 --> 00:00:37,739
AND SHOVE IT
UP YOUR BUM!
15
00:00:37,804 --> 00:00:39,544
DO THAT AND I'LL
TURN MY BACK ON YOU
16
00:00:39,606 --> 00:00:40,636
AND SLAP YOU
ABOUT THE FACE
17
00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:42,307
WITH MY NEWLY ACQUIRED
BUM ARM!
18
00:00:42,375 --> 00:00:43,435
I'LL BITE
THAT BUM ARM OFF,
19
00:00:43,510 --> 00:00:46,550
CHEW IT UP, AND SPIT
THE BONE FRAGMENTS INTO YOUR EYES,
20
00:00:46,613 --> 00:00:47,683
PUNCTURING
THE OPTICAL ORBS,
21
00:00:47,747 --> 00:00:49,447
CAUSING THE EYEBALL
LIQUID TO STREAM DOWN
22
00:00:49,516 --> 00:00:52,586
INTO YOUR LUNGS
AND DROWN YOU!
23
00:00:52,652 --> 00:00:54,492
MOTHER, THAT'S
PRETTY HARSH.
24
00:00:54,554 --> 00:00:56,264
WHY ARE WE FIGHTING
LIKE THIS?
25
00:00:56,322 --> 00:00:59,232
I KNOW. WE NEVER FOUGHT
WHEN BRAK WAS HERE.
26
00:00:59,292 --> 00:01:01,332
WHY DID HE HAVE TO
MOVE OUT, ANYWAY?
27
00:01:01,394 --> 00:01:04,404
WELL, HERE HE IS
FOR THE 14th TIME TODAY. ASK HIM YOURSELF.
28
00:01:04,464 --> 00:01:06,774
HONEY, HAVE YOU DECIDED
TO MOVE BACK IN?
29
00:01:06,833 --> 00:01:09,243
NO, MOTHER.
I'M A MAN NOW.
30
00:01:09,302 --> 00:01:10,972
I DO MAN THINGS.
31
00:01:11,037 --> 00:01:12,637
I'M THINKING ABOUT
GROWING A BEARD,
32
00:01:12,705 --> 00:01:15,235
AND THEN GROWING A BEARD
ON THAT BEARD.
33
00:01:15,308 --> 00:01:17,308
AND THEN, ON THAT BEARD,
34
00:01:17,377 --> 00:01:18,577
A MOUSTACHE!
35
00:01:18,645 --> 00:01:20,745
SO, HOW ARE THINGS
IN THE NEW PLACE?
36
00:01:20,814 --> 00:01:21,924
OUTSTANDING, DAD!
37
00:01:21,981 --> 00:01:24,581
ANY MINUTE NOW,
MY NEW BACHELOR PAD WILL BE OVERFLOWING
38
00:01:24,651 --> 00:01:26,191
WITH HOT, SQUEEZABLE TAIL
39
00:01:26,252 --> 00:01:28,352
READY TO RUN THEIR
FINGERS OVER MY MAN FACE.
40
00:01:28,421 --> 00:01:31,061
BUT WHY DID YOU HAVE TO
MOVE OUT TO MEET GIRLS?
41
00:01:31,124 --> 00:01:33,734
MOTHER, DO YOU KNOW
HOW SISSIFIED IT IS
42
00:01:33,793 --> 00:01:34,893
FOR A HOT YOUNG DUDE
LIKE BRAK
43
00:01:34,961 --> 00:01:37,231
TO BRING GIRLS HOME
TO HIS PARENTS' HOUSE?
44
00:01:37,297 --> 00:01:39,027
IT'S SUPER
SISSIFIED, MOM.
45
00:01:39,098 --> 00:01:39,928
DAMN STRAIGHT IT IS.
46
00:01:39,999 --> 00:01:41,699
IS LIVING IN
A CARDBOARD BOX ANY BETTER?
47
00:01:41,768 --> 00:01:43,198
WELL, THAT DEPENDS
ON THE WOMAN.
48
00:01:43,269 --> 00:01:44,669
SOME WOMEN
DIG CORRUGATION.
49
00:01:44,737 --> 00:01:46,807
BRAK, WAS THERE
SOMETHING YOU NEEDED, DEAR?
50
00:01:46,873 --> 00:01:48,343
YEAH, I WAS
JUST WONDERIN'
51
00:01:48,408 --> 00:01:50,338
IF MY UNDIES
WERE READY, MOMMY.
52
00:01:50,410 --> 00:01:52,780
NOT YET. THEY'RE ON
THEIR THIRD WASH CYCLE.
53
00:01:52,846 --> 00:01:54,846
WHAT DO YOU DO WITH
THOSE THINGS, ANYWAY?
54
00:01:54,914 --> 00:01:56,424
OH, HO HO HO HO HO!
55
00:01:56,483 --> 00:01:57,783
I SEE.
56
00:01:57,851 --> 00:01:59,991
I GUESS I BETTER
GET BACK TO MY PAD.
57
00:02:00,053 --> 00:02:02,193
THEM GIRLS AIN'T
KISSIN' THEMSELVES.
58
00:02:02,255 --> 00:02:04,885
IF THEY START,
YOU KNOW WHERE TO FIND ME!
59
00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:06,558
I LOVE THAT BUSINESS.
60
00:02:06,626 --> 00:02:07,456
[BUZZER GOES OFF]
61
00:02:07,527 --> 00:02:09,227
IT SOUNDS LIKE
MY BABY'S UNDIES ARE DONE.
62
00:02:09,295 --> 00:02:11,795
I'LL GO AND PUT THEM
IN THE DRYER,
63
00:02:11,865 --> 00:02:14,325
MAKE THEM
NICE AND FLUFFY.
64
00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:15,370
[DOORBELL RINGS]
65
00:02:15,435 --> 00:02:16,235
MOTHER, THE DOOR.
66
00:02:16,302 --> 00:02:18,042
[DOORBELL RINGS TWICE]
MOTHER, THE DOOR!
67
00:02:18,104 --> 00:02:21,744
BUGGER OFF, YOU SILLY LITTLE
INEFFECTUAL WANKER!
68
00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:23,538
ALL RIGHT, FINE.
SURE. NO PROBLEM.
69
00:02:23,610 --> 00:02:24,740
I'LL GET THE DOOR.
YEAH.
70
00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:26,851
BUT WHOEVER'S AT THE DOOR
IS GOING TO WISH
71
00:02:26,913 --> 00:02:29,853
THEY NEVER MADE ME
GET UP OFF OF MY SWEET ASS!
72
00:02:29,916 --> 00:02:31,676
GOOD DAY TO YOU, SIR.
73
00:02:31,751 --> 00:02:33,021
YOU SHOULD SAY GOOD DAY
TO MY ASS,
74
00:02:33,086 --> 00:02:35,316
WHICH YOU MADE ME
GET OFF OF FROM MY CHAIR
75
00:02:35,388 --> 00:02:36,158
TO COME GET THIS DOOR.
76
00:02:36,222 --> 00:02:38,222
ALL RIGHT, GOOD DAY
TO YOUR ASS, SIR.
77
00:02:38,291 --> 00:02:39,991
WOULD YOU CARE
TO DO A KIND DEED
78
00:02:40,059 --> 00:02:42,159
FOR AN OLD MAN
DOWN ON HIS LUCK?
79
00:02:42,228 --> 00:02:46,098
PERHAPS A DROP OF ALE
AND A CRUST OF BREAD.
80
00:02:46,165 --> 00:02:46,865
HA HA!
81
00:02:46,933 --> 00:02:48,373
HEY, HOW ABOUT A CRUST
OF NOTHING,
82
00:02:48,434 --> 00:02:51,044
AND FOR DESSERT,
A DOOR IN YOUR FACE!
83
00:02:51,104 --> 00:02:51,944
HARRUMPH!
84
00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:55,035
[SPEAKING SPANISH RAPIDLY]
85
00:02:55,108 --> 00:02:58,208
Brak:
AH HA HA HA HA HA HA!
86
00:02:58,278 --> 00:03:01,008
OH, MAN. GOOD ONE,
CONAN. WHAT A ZINGER.
87
00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:04,720
EXCUSE ME. WOULD YOU
CARE TO DO A KIND DEED
88
00:03:04,784 --> 00:03:07,224
FOR A DOWNTRODDEN
OLD MAN?
89
00:03:07,287 --> 00:03:09,187
ABSOLUTELY, BUDDY.
COME ON IN!
90
00:03:09,255 --> 00:03:09,955
CONAN'S ON.
91
00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:12,363
HEY, EVERYBODY,
I'M CONAN O'BRIEN.
92
00:03:12,425 --> 00:03:13,585
THANKS FOR WATCHING
MY SHOW.
93
00:03:13,660 --> 00:03:16,400
DID YOU HEAR WHAT
THE PRESIDENT SAID TODAY?
94
00:03:16,462 --> 00:03:17,702
IT SURE WAS FUNNY.
95
00:03:17,764 --> 00:03:20,234
AH HA HA HA HA HA!
96
00:03:20,300 --> 00:03:21,030
I GET IT!
97
00:03:21,100 --> 00:03:23,970
CONAN, YOU'RE THE KING
OF LATE-NIGHT.
98
00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:26,037
AH HA HA HA HA!
99
00:03:26,105 --> 00:03:26,965
YEAH, YEAH.
100
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:29,840
BUT THE THING IS,
I'M SO VERY HUNGRY.
101
00:03:29,909 --> 00:03:32,949
COULD YOU SPARE ME
A LITTLE BITE TO EAT?
102
00:03:33,012 --> 00:03:33,912
YOU'RE IN LUCK, MY MAN.
103
00:03:33,980 --> 00:03:36,420
I JUST PULLED
A 12-POUND CARDBURKEY
104
00:03:36,482 --> 00:03:38,522
OUT OF MY CARDBOVEN.
105
00:03:38,585 --> 00:03:40,385
AND YOU WOULD SHARE
THIS DUBIOUS FEAST
106
00:03:40,453 --> 00:03:41,893
WITH A TOTAL STRANGER?
107
00:03:41,955 --> 00:03:42,785
I WOULD, INDEED.
108
00:03:42,855 --> 00:03:45,925
THEN WE HAVE A WINNER!
109
00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:49,400
FOR I AM GENEROSITUS,
110
00:03:49,462 --> 00:03:53,372
SON OF GRACIOTIMUS
AND GOD OF ALL KINDNESS.
111
00:03:53,433 --> 00:03:56,943
I BRING DOWN THE POWERS
OF MOUNT OLYMPITUS,
112
00:03:57,003 --> 00:03:59,143
MACCALAPAPAPAPAPAPATOPOULUS,
113
00:03:59,205 --> 00:04:00,635
TO GRANT YOU ONE WISH
114
00:04:00,707 --> 00:04:04,107
AS REWARD FOR YOUR
KIND INTENTIONS.
115
00:04:04,177 --> 00:04:04,837
WAAH?!
116
00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:07,811
I AM A GOD!
MAKE YOUR WISH NOW!
117
00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:09,150
I COMMAND IT!
118
00:04:09,215 --> 00:04:09,915
[STATIC]
119
00:04:09,983 --> 00:04:12,193
HOT PANTS CALLING
LOVING SPOONFUL.
120
00:04:12,251 --> 00:04:14,491
COME IN, LOVING SPOONFUL.
OVER.
121
00:04:14,554 --> 00:04:15,194
MY BOY CLARENCE.
122
00:04:15,254 --> 00:04:17,194
HE CRIBS IN THE BOX
NEXT DOOR.
123
00:04:17,256 --> 00:04:18,016
WE RUN TOGETHER.
124
00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:19,931
LOVING SPOONFUL
CALLING THE HOT PANTS.
125
00:04:19,993 --> 00:04:21,033
WHAT'S UP, PANTS?
126
00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:23,704
I'M SHOWERED AND POWDERED
AND READY TO BE DEFLOWERED.
127
00:04:23,763 --> 00:04:26,203
HAVE YOU BAGGED ANY BABES YET,
SPOONFUL? COME BACK.
128
00:04:26,265 --> 00:04:28,935
THAT'S A NEGATORY
ON THE BABE-O BAGGINGS, HOT PANTS.
129
00:04:29,002 --> 00:04:30,972
I AWAIT YOUR WISHMAKING,
YOUNG THUNDERCAT.
130
00:04:31,037 --> 00:04:33,507
LISTEN, HOT PANTS,
I GOT A GOD OVER HERE.
131
00:04:33,573 --> 00:04:36,413
I'M GONNA HAVE TO
SIGN OFF. OVER.
132
00:04:36,476 --> 00:04:37,836
WHAT?! [PANTING]
133
00:04:37,910 --> 00:04:39,510
HEY!
THAT'S NOT A BROAD.
134
00:04:39,579 --> 00:04:42,879
I DIDN'T SAY BROAD,
STUPID. I SAID GOD.
135
00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:44,649
HE'S HERE
TO GRANT ME A WISH.
136
00:04:44,717 --> 00:04:47,147
AND YOU'RE RUNNING
OUT OF TIME.
137
00:04:47,220 --> 00:04:48,250
OH, THERE'S A TIME LIMIT?
138
00:04:48,321 --> 00:04:50,721
OK, UM...UH...
I WANT A MILLION DOLLARS.
139
00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:52,060
HOW ABOUT
A MILLION DOLLARS?
140
00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:53,525
IT CANNOT BE
MONETARY.
141
00:04:53,593 --> 00:04:54,263
AW, MAN!
142
00:04:54,327 --> 00:04:55,757
WISH FOR A DATE!
FOR BOTH OF US.
143
00:04:55,828 --> 00:04:57,458
NO CARNAL PLEASURES.
144
00:04:57,530 --> 00:04:58,700
FORBIDDEN!
145
00:04:58,765 --> 00:05:00,165
NO FOOD.
THEN HOW ABOUT--
146
00:05:00,233 --> 00:05:01,473
THEN ASK FOR
A SPACESHIP.
147
00:05:01,534 --> 00:05:02,274
NO SPACESHIPS.
148
00:05:02,335 --> 00:05:03,535
THEN I'LL TAKE
A COUPLE OF PAIRS OF--
149
00:05:03,603 --> 00:05:05,743
NO MAGIC PANTS.
HOW ABOUT A RADIO?
150
00:05:05,805 --> 00:05:06,935
OK. I'D LIKE THAT.
151
00:05:07,006 --> 00:05:07,806
NO RADIO!
SOMETHING ELSE.
152
00:05:07,874 --> 00:05:09,344
HOW ABOUT A DATE
WITH FARRAH FAWCETT?
153
00:05:09,409 --> 00:05:11,679
HOW ABOUT A DATE
WITH BENJAMIN FRANKLIN?
154
00:05:11,744 --> 00:05:13,484
I COULD PROBABLY
MAKE THAT HAPPEN.
155
00:05:13,546 --> 00:05:14,206
HE'S TOO OLD.
156
00:05:14,280 --> 00:05:15,680
YEAH, BUT HE INVENTED
LIGHTNING.
157
00:05:15,748 --> 00:05:16,818
NO ONE INVENTED
LIGHTNING.
158
00:05:16,883 --> 00:05:19,093
BURT REYNOLDS DID.
I SAW IT IN A MOVIE.
159
00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:19,892
STOKER ACE?
160
00:05:19,952 --> 00:05:21,122
NO. HOOPER, STUPID.
161
00:05:21,187 --> 00:05:21,847
...AND 5, 4...
162
00:05:21,921 --> 00:05:24,061
I SAID A MOVIE,
NOT A TRAVESTY.
163
00:05:24,123 --> 00:05:25,223
3, 2, 1!
[BUZZER SOUND]
164
00:05:25,291 --> 00:05:26,591
TIME IS UP.
YOU BLEW IT.
165
00:05:26,659 --> 00:05:27,859
OH, MAN, THAT STINKS.
166
00:05:27,927 --> 00:05:29,557
I'LL TELL YOU
WHAT DOESN'T STINK.
167
00:05:29,629 --> 00:05:32,629
THAT HOT BROAD I GOT STASHED
IN CLARENCE'S BOX.
168
00:05:32,699 --> 00:05:34,829
AAH! THERE'S A WOMAN
IN MY BOX?
169
00:05:34,901 --> 00:05:36,601
AND SHE'S READY
TO ROCK.
170
00:05:36,669 --> 00:05:38,139
SHE IS?
I WANNA ROCK.
171
00:05:38,204 --> 00:05:38,944
YOU KNOW WHAT?
172
00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:40,135
I DON'T FEEL LIKE
ROCKING RIGHT NOW,
173
00:05:40,206 --> 00:05:42,376
SO WHY DON'T YOU
HEAD ON OVER THERE
174
00:05:42,442 --> 00:05:43,182
AND ROCK HER FOR ME?
175
00:05:43,242 --> 00:05:44,312
CAN MY FRIEND BRAK
COME WITH ME?
176
00:05:44,377 --> 00:05:46,447
SHE DON'T ROCK THAT WAY.
IT'S ONE OR NONE.
177
00:05:46,512 --> 00:05:48,552
GO AHEAD, CLARENCE.
YOU'VE EARNED IT.
178
00:05:48,614 --> 00:05:51,624
HERE I GO,
INTO THE GREAT WIDE OPEN!
179
00:05:51,684 --> 00:05:53,524
HA HA HA HA
HO HEE HO!
180
00:05:53,586 --> 00:05:54,516
HEH HEH HEH!
181
00:05:54,587 --> 00:05:55,957
WHAT'S SO FUNNY,
ZORAK?
182
00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:57,162
QUIET! I
WANNA LISTEN.
183
00:05:57,223 --> 00:05:58,193
HA HA HA
HA HO HEE HEE HO!
184
00:05:58,257 --> 00:06:02,027
HELLO. MY NAME IS CLARENCE.
PLEASE BE GENTLE.
185
00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:05,665
[CLARENCE SCREAMING]
186
00:06:07,066 --> 00:06:09,636
THERE'S NOTHING LIKE
THE SOUND OF A BLOOD CAT
187
00:06:09,702 --> 00:06:11,002
MAULING A FAT KID.
188
00:06:11,070 --> 00:06:12,810
SHE LIKES IT
KIND OF ROUGH, HUH?
189
00:06:12,872 --> 00:06:14,542
HEH HEH HEH HEH!
YEAH.
190
00:06:14,607 --> 00:06:16,237
[CLARENCE WHIMPERING]
191
00:06:16,309 --> 00:06:18,279
EH, WHO'S THE OLD GEEZER?
192
00:06:18,344 --> 00:06:20,614
I AM GENEROSITUS,
193
00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:21,950
SON OF GRACIOTIMUS
194
00:06:22,014 --> 00:06:23,924
AND GOD
OF ALL KINDNESS.
195
00:06:23,983 --> 00:06:25,853
YEAH, RIGHT! HE SAYS
HE GRANTS WISHES,
196
00:06:25,918 --> 00:06:27,488
BUT HE DON'T GRANT CRAP!
197
00:06:27,553 --> 00:06:28,393
THERE ARE RULES.
198
00:06:28,454 --> 00:06:30,124
YOU VIOLATED
THE TIME LIMIT.
199
00:06:30,189 --> 00:06:31,219
SO YOU GRANT
WISHES, HUH?
200
00:06:31,290 --> 00:06:35,290
YES. BUT ONLY
TO THOSE WHO PERFORM ACTS OF KINDNESS.
201
00:06:35,361 --> 00:06:37,361
EHH. THAT'S REALLY
NOT MY SPECIALTY.
202
00:06:37,430 --> 00:06:39,230
HE'S MORE INTO
PAIN DISTRIBUTION.
203
00:06:39,298 --> 00:06:40,298
I'LL DEMONSTRATE.
204
00:06:40,366 --> 00:06:43,796
HEY, ZORAK, HOW YOU
DOIN' TODAY, FRIEND?
205
00:06:43,870 --> 00:06:44,670
OOF!
206
00:06:44,737 --> 00:06:45,567
THAT'S MY ZORAK.
207
00:06:45,638 --> 00:06:48,668
♪ BUM BUM BUM BUM
BUM BUM BUM BUM BAAH ♪
208
00:06:48,741 --> 00:06:51,211
GIMME A WISH BEFORE
I CRAM A BADGER DOWN YOUR THROAT
209
00:06:51,277 --> 00:06:53,447
AND STRAP A T-BONE STEAK
TO YOUR ASS.
210
00:06:53,513 --> 00:06:54,613
I MAY BE FROM
OUT OF TOWN,
211
00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:58,320
BUT I DON'T SEE HOW
THAT QUALIFIES AS AN ACT OF KINDNESS.
212
00:06:58,384 --> 00:06:59,354
IT IS FOR THE BADGER.
213
00:06:59,418 --> 00:07:00,948
EVENTUALLY HE EATS
HIS WAY THROUGH TO THE STEAK.
214
00:07:01,020 --> 00:07:02,720
THAT'S A GOOD MEAL
FOR A BADGER.
215
00:07:02,789 --> 00:07:04,219
THEY DON'T USUALLY
GET STEAK.
216
00:07:04,290 --> 00:07:07,290
SO LET'S SEE,
WHAT SHOULD I WISH FOR?
217
00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:08,490
PUT DOWN THE BADGER.
218
00:07:08,561 --> 00:07:10,001
PUT IT DOWN.
COME TO THINK OF IT--
219
00:07:10,062 --> 00:07:12,972
MY WISH IS TO DO
THE BADGER TRICK BACKWARDS.
220
00:07:13,032 --> 00:07:15,742
SO PUT THE STEAK
IN YOUR MOUTH AND BEND OVER.
221
00:07:15,802 --> 00:07:17,502
I DON'T THINK SO.
222
00:07:17,570 --> 00:07:19,170
FUZZAH!
223
00:07:19,238 --> 00:07:22,208
AAH! YOU CAST ZORAK
INTO THE CARDBOVEN.
224
00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:25,545
AND I ALSO TURNED HIM
INTO CARDBOARD. DID YOU NOTICE?
225
00:07:25,611 --> 00:07:27,211
OH, YEAH,
LOOK AT THAT.
226
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:28,480
HEY, WHERE'S THE BADGER?
227
00:07:28,548 --> 00:07:31,618
HE'S STEAK-HUNTING
IN ZORAK'S CARDBOARD COLON.
228
00:07:31,684 --> 00:07:34,454
ISN'T THAT IRONIC?
HA HA!
229
00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:36,590
I WANTED TO BE
THE GOD OF IRONY,
230
00:07:36,656 --> 00:07:38,216
BUT THAT WENT TO
IRONICUS.
231
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:39,431
HEY, BRAK, WHAT'S UP?
232
00:07:39,492 --> 00:07:42,762
UGH! WHAT HAPPENED
TO YOU, DAD?
233
00:07:42,829 --> 00:07:46,429
SON, I JUST LEARNED
A VALUABLE LESSON.
234
00:07:46,499 --> 00:07:49,369
NEVER CROSS
YOUR SWEET, LOVING MOTHER
235
00:07:49,435 --> 00:07:51,995
UNLESS--AND THIS IS
A KEY POINT--
236
00:07:52,071 --> 00:07:54,941
UNLESS YOU WANT
YOUR ARM RIPPED OFF
237
00:07:55,007 --> 00:07:57,307
AND SHOVED UP YOUR ASS.
238
00:07:57,376 --> 00:07:58,376
THANKS, DAD.
239
00:07:58,444 --> 00:08:02,154
I'LL REMEMBER THAT
FOREVER.
240
00:08:03,382 --> 00:08:07,022
HEY, UH--UH--
CAN I STAY HERE TONIGHT?
241
00:08:07,086 --> 00:08:08,586
YOUR MOTHER THREW ME OUT.
242
00:08:08,654 --> 00:08:10,064
SURE, DAD.
MY BOX IS YOUR BOX.
243
00:08:10,122 --> 00:08:12,962
HEY, WHAT'S THIS OLD
FART-KNOCKER DOING IN MY NEW HOUSE?
244
00:08:13,025 --> 00:08:14,885
YOUR SON
INVITED ME IN.
245
00:08:14,961 --> 00:08:15,901
WELL, INVITE YOURSELF OUT
246
00:08:15,962 --> 00:08:17,862
BEFORE I SMACK YOU
WITH MY BUM ARM.
247
00:08:17,930 --> 00:08:19,230
COME ON, BIG BOY,
248
00:08:19,298 --> 00:08:20,528
PUT YOUR FACE
DOWN HERE.
249
00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:22,470
I'LL KNOCK THE FARTS
OUT OF YOU!
250
00:08:22,535 --> 00:08:24,795
I HAVE
A BETTER IDEA.
251
00:08:24,871 --> 00:08:27,471
BUTTASSAFASS!
252
00:08:29,008 --> 00:08:30,178
YOU DID NOT JUST DO THAT.
253
00:08:30,243 --> 00:08:33,283
THAT WASN'T VERY NICE
WHAT YOU JUST DID TO MY DAD!
254
00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:35,406
WOULD YOU LIKE
SOME OF THE SAME?
255
00:08:35,481 --> 00:08:36,721
I WOULD NOT, SIR.
256
00:08:36,782 --> 00:08:38,252
[PASSES GAS LOUDLY]
257
00:08:38,317 --> 00:08:40,717
UH-OH. I GOT TO GO
TO THE CAN.
258
00:08:40,786 --> 00:08:43,616
OH, I AM NOT LOOKING
FORWARD TO THIS.
259
00:08:43,689 --> 00:08:44,819
THAT...
260
00:08:44,891 --> 00:08:46,791
[INHALES]
261
00:08:46,859 --> 00:08:48,029
WAS INCREDIBLE.
262
00:08:48,094 --> 00:08:50,034
CLARENCE? I THOUGHT
YOU'D BE DEAD.
263
00:08:50,096 --> 00:08:51,996
CLARENCE THE BOY
IS DEAD.
264
00:08:52,064 --> 00:08:57,144
MEET CLARENCE THE MAN
WHO JUST HAD SEX.
265
00:08:57,203 --> 00:08:58,943
[INHALING]
266
00:08:59,005 --> 00:09:00,005
PFFT.
267
00:09:00,072 --> 00:09:01,012
AND LOVED IT!
268
00:09:01,073 --> 00:09:03,083
YOU HAD SEX
WITH A BLOOD CAT?
269
00:09:03,142 --> 00:09:04,142
THE FIRST TIME.
270
00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:05,650
BUT AFTER THAT,
MY ATHLETIC
271
00:09:05,711 --> 00:09:08,511
AND SOMEWHAT UNORTHODOX
LOVEMAKING...
272
00:09:08,581 --> 00:09:09,451
[INHALES]
273
00:09:09,515 --> 00:09:11,775
TRANSFORMED HER BACK
INTO THE BEAUTY SHE WAS
274
00:09:11,851 --> 00:09:17,461
BEFORE A HORRIBLE SPELL
WAS CAST UPON HER.
275
00:09:17,523 --> 00:09:20,393
OR MAYBE IT WAS JUST
MY GIANT WIENER.
276
00:09:20,459 --> 00:09:21,559
EITHER WAY, IT HAPPENED.
277
00:09:21,627 --> 00:09:24,097
Girl: CLARENCE,
WHERE ARE YOU?
278
00:09:24,163 --> 00:09:27,403
I NEED YOUR
SWEET PASSION, BABY!
279
00:09:27,466 --> 00:09:29,136
I'M IN HERE,
MY LOVE!
280
00:09:29,201 --> 00:09:31,441
IT'S READY FOR YA.
281
00:09:31,504 --> 00:09:32,174
RUBY!
282
00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:34,008
G? IS THAT YOU, BABY?!
283
00:09:34,073 --> 00:09:35,143
BABY, WHERE YOU BEEN?
284
00:09:35,207 --> 00:09:37,507
YOU WENT OUT FOR
SMOKES THAT NIGHT AND NEVER CAME BACK.
285
00:09:37,576 --> 00:09:40,676
I KNOW! I RAN INTO YOUR MOM
AT THE SIP AND LUBE
286
00:09:40,746 --> 00:09:42,946
AND THE OLD WHORE
CAST A SPELL ON ME.
287
00:09:43,015 --> 00:09:43,945
MADE ME INTO A BLOOD CAT.
288
00:09:44,016 --> 00:09:44,946
AND THAT'S HOW IT'S BEEN
289
00:09:45,017 --> 00:09:47,347
TILL CLARENCE HERE CAME
ALONG AND DID ME RIGHT.
290
00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:49,460
SEVERAL TIMES,
I MIGHT ADD.
291
00:09:49,522 --> 00:09:51,322
IT WAS REALLY
ONLY ONCE.
292
00:09:51,390 --> 00:09:54,160
THERE WAS LOTS OF
FUMBLING IN THE DARK.
293
00:09:54,226 --> 00:09:54,956
OH, OK.
294
00:09:55,027 --> 00:09:56,357
MOST OF WHAT HE DID
WAS TO HIMSELF.
295
00:09:56,429 --> 00:10:01,329
RUBY, HAVE YOU HAD
A PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIP WITH THIS GENTLEMAN?
296
00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:02,600
YES. SHE IS MY WIFE.
297
00:10:02,668 --> 00:10:07,268
I'D LIKE TO THANK YOU
FOR FREEING HER FROM HER SPELL.
298
00:10:07,340 --> 00:10:08,910
TO SHOW MY GRATITUDE,
299
00:10:08,975 --> 00:10:11,675
I WILL GRANT BRAK
HIS WISH.
300
00:10:11,744 --> 00:10:12,454
HOT DOG!
301
00:10:12,511 --> 00:10:14,681
WHAT ABOUT ME?
DON'T I GET A WISH?
302
00:10:14,747 --> 00:10:17,177
WELL, YOU DID
NAIL MY WIFE.
303
00:10:17,249 --> 00:10:19,319
YES, SIR...I DID.
304
00:10:19,385 --> 00:10:21,285
[INHALES]
305
00:10:21,887 --> 00:10:24,417
OH, YEAH.
306
00:10:24,490 --> 00:10:26,960
SO, BRAK,
I AWAIT YOUR WISH.
307
00:10:27,026 --> 00:10:28,356
OK. OK.
308
00:10:28,427 --> 00:10:29,957
OK, OK, OK, OK.
309
00:10:30,029 --> 00:10:32,929
UH...OK, OK, UH...
310
00:10:32,999 --> 00:10:35,469
I WISH--I WISH I WERE...
311
00:10:35,534 --> 00:10:36,644
A PENGUIN!
312
00:10:36,702 --> 00:10:37,272
A PENGUIN.
313
00:10:37,336 --> 00:10:38,196
YEAH.
THAT'S WHAT I WANT.
314
00:10:38,270 --> 00:10:40,940
COME ON, BOY.
YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT.
315
00:10:41,007 --> 00:10:42,677
WISH FOR SOMETHING
BIGGER.
316
00:10:42,742 --> 00:10:44,942
DID YOU HAVE TO MAKE US
ALL PENGUINS?
317
00:10:45,011 --> 00:10:46,611
HE SAID WISH FOR
SOMETHING BIGGER.
318
00:10:46,679 --> 00:10:47,779
I COULDN'T THINK
OF ANYTHING.
319
00:10:47,847 --> 00:10:50,747
I REALLY THINK THE FAMILY
TOOK TO ME AS YOUR REPLACEMENT,
320
00:10:50,816 --> 00:10:51,776
WOULDN'T YOU SAY, DUCKY?
321
00:10:51,851 --> 00:10:54,151
CHECK THE INTERNET, HONEY.
I'M STILL THE STAR HERE.
322
00:10:54,220 --> 00:10:56,560
THIS SURE BEATS HAVING
A BADGER IN MY COLON.
323
00:10:56,622 --> 00:10:58,022
HUBBA DUBBA DOH!
324
00:10:58,090 --> 00:11:00,090
LONG LIVE PENGUINCLEESE!
325
00:11:00,159 --> 00:11:01,189
AWAY!
326
00:11:01,260 --> 00:11:04,130
THIS COLD IS MAKING
MY WIENER SMALL.
327
00:11:04,196 --> 00:11:05,766
AAH!
328
00:11:06,932 --> 00:11:07,632
THIS IS STUPID.
329
00:11:07,700 --> 00:11:08,630
I WISH WE WEREN'T PENGUINS
330
00:11:08,701 --> 00:11:12,241
AND THAT OUR SHOW
WASN'T CANCELED.
331
00:11:12,291 --> 00:11:16,841
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