Original subtitles

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP

HOW YOU DOING THERE, STINKY MONKEY?

[MAKING MONKEY SOUNDS]

[LAUGHS]

- CAN YOU EVEN BEGIN TO IMAGINE

HOW HUMILIATING THIS IS FOR ME?

- HOW ABOUT THAT? A TALKING MONKEY.

THROW HIM A BANANA. MAYBE HE'LL DANCE FOR US.

- OOH! - DANCE, MONKEY!

- I'M AN APE, YOU IMPUDENT HUMANOID.

- I SAID DANCE! - OOH!

[GROWLS]

- LET'S GO, BRAK.

THIS PARTICULAR ATTRACTION BORES ME. - WAIT.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE SOMETHING THAT WILL EXCITE YOU?

- THEY HAVE THAT KIND OF STUFF HERE?

- OH, YES.

GO INTO THAT BUILDING OVER THERE.

- IT SAYS, "DO NOT ENTER."

- BUT IT DOESN'T SAY THAT YOU SHOULD NOT ENTER, DOES IT?

- GOOD POINT, CORNELIUS.

WHY WOULD ANYONE TRY TO STOP ME

FROM ENJOYING WHATEVER'S IN THAT BUILDING?

- THINGS THAT WILL EXCITE YOU. - EXACTLY.

WE MUST GO RIGHT NOW, BRAK.

I HAVE GOOD FEELINGS ABOUT THAT FORBIDDEN BUILDING.

THIS DOES NOT EXCITE ME.

THIS IS NOTHING BUT A PACK OF GLOWING, MUTANT ANIMAL FREAKS.

- YUCK. IT SMELLS LIKE EUROPE IN HERE.

[RUMBLING]

[ROARS]

[SPLAT]

- I THINK THESE ANIMALS ARE SICK.

- I'LL TELL YOU WHO'S SICK. ME, OF LYING TALKING MONKEYS.

I'M GOING TO SUE THAT PUNK. - [GROWLING]

- DID YOU HEAR THAT, DAD?

THAT CAMEL'S TRYING TO TELL US SOMETHING.

- YEAH, I KNOW WHAT HE WANTS.

A LONG DRAG OFF A SWEET CIGARILLO,

BLENDED WITH THE FINEST OF RICH TURKISH TURKWEED.

[INHALES]

AHH.

HERE YOU GO. HAVE A TOKE ON ME, YOU STUPID BEAST.

AAH! [STAMMERING]

I'M FALLING!

[CRASH]

- ARE YOU ALL RIGHT, DAD?

- OH, YEAH. I'M GREAT.

I THINK I'M GOING TO LIVE HERE NOW,

'CAUSE IT'S SO DARK AND COLD AND--

OH, MY GOD, I'M BEING BITTEN BY BATS!

AAH! B-B-BY GLOWING BATS!

AND THAT'S WHY FATHER-SON OUTINGS ARE BULLCRAP!

- AW, MAN. - [SIGH]

I KNEW WE SHOULD'VE GONE TO THE COCKFIGHTS.

- I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT WITH THAT.

- ROOSTERS, IS WHAT.

BRAVE ROOSTERS, LIVING ON THE EDGE,

FACING DEATH AND MAKING US MONEY.

- DID YOU TELL THE DOCTOR

THAT THE ANIMALS THAT BIT YOU WERE GLOWING?

- WHAT DOCTOR? BRAK DID THIS.

I AIN'T GOING TO NO DOCTOR.

BUNCH OF FAT-BRAINED VOODOO JIVE CATS,

CLUBBING THEIR GOLF BALLS AROUND,

DRUNK ON ALCOHOL.

DOCTORS? HEH. [SPITS]

- HONEY, IF THOSE ANIMALS WERE RADIOACTIVE,

YOU MIGHT BE SERIOUSLY ILL.

- I'M FINE, BABY.

[SHIVERS]

ALL I NEED IS A LITTLE REST.

[CRICKETS CHIRPING]

- MOTHER, I THINK WE NEED A NEW MATTRESS.

[ROARS] MY HUMP WAS VERY UNCOMFORTABLE LAST NIGHT.

- YEAH, IT'S A PAIN WHEN THEY'RE HUMPING--

OH, SWEET DR. WOCKNOBBLE!

DAD, YOU GOT A HUMP ON YOUR BACK!

- YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN A DOCTOR.

MAYBE THEY COULD'VE STOPPED THIS.

- STOPPED WHAT? MY TRANSFORMATION?

NO WAY, YOKO. I LIKE THE NEW ME.

DID I GIVE YOU A HARD TIME

WHEN YOU GOT ALL FAT AND HAD THAT STUPID BABY?

[ROARS]

AHEM. NOW, COULD I HAVE SOME WATER?

I'M FRIGGIN' PARCHED OVER HERE.

- FINE, I'LL GET YOU A GLASS.

- NO, NO. A GLASS WON'T DO IT FOR DADDY ANYMORE.

I'M GOING TO NEED THE HOSE.

YOU SEE, MY HUMP IS CAPABLE OF STORING

3 MONTHS' SUPPLY OF WATER.

HUH!

- DAD, YOU CAN FLY!

- WELL, NOT EXACTLY,

BUT I CAN HANG UPSIDE DOWN INDEFINITELY.

OH, AND I CAN SEE THINGS IN THE DARK,

ESPECIALLY BUGS, WHICH I NOW EAT.

- WATER STORAGE, NIGHT VISION.

DAD, YOU'VE BEEN BLESSED WITH AMAZING NEW POWERS!

- YEAH, SO?

- SO YOU CAN DO GREAT THINGS.

I'M TALKING ABOUT CHANGE, BABY.

MAKING THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE FOR EVERYBODY.

- WHAT WOULD THAT INVOLVE?

- WELL, IT'D BE A LOT OF WORK, BUT--

- DO I HAVE TO LEAVE THE HOUSE?

- YEAH, BUT-- - PASADENA.

- BUT, DAD-- - I PUT MY HUMP ON THE LINE FOR NO STRANGERS,

ESPECIALLY IF I HAVE TO LEAVE THE HOUSE.

HUH. UH-UH. NOT INTERESTED.

- SAY, FRIENDS, DO YOU HAVE A DEHUMIDIFIER I CAN BORROW?

- AH, SPACE GHOST. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

- OH, I LIVE HERE. - WHAT?

- YEAH, I'VE BEEN LIVING IN YOUR BASEMENT FOR THE LAST 3 WEEKS.

IT'S QUITE MOIST, THUS MY NEED FOR DEHUMIDIFICATION.

- I WANT YOU OUT OF THAT BASEMENT IMMEDIATELY.

- HMM. I WAS AFRAID YOU'D SAY THAT.

IT WAS A RISK COMING UP HERE,

BUT I TOOK IT BECAUSE I'M A SUPERHERO.

SPACE GHOST IS THE NAME.

- HEY, GEORGE, DID YOU KNOW THAT MY DAD HAD SUPERPOWERS NOW?

- YES, I DO, MY CHILD.

I HEARD ALL ABOUT IT,

THROUGH THE AIR DUCTS.

YOU CAN HEAR EVERYTHING THROUGH THERE.

- I WAS JUST TELLING HIM THAT HE SHOULD USE HIS AMAZING GIFTS

TO HELP EVERYBODY.

- YEAH, WHATEVER. SPACE GHOST,

HOW MUCH MONEY DO YOU MAKE?

- SIR, THAT IS A RUDE QUESTION.

BUT I LIKE IT!

BECAUSE THE ANSWER IS, A LOT.

A SUPER LOT.

- THEN WHY ARE YOU LIVING IN OUR BASEMENT?

- UH, BECAUSE I'M VERY BAD WITH MONEY.

I RECENTLY PURCHASED A REMOTE DESERT THEME PARK

I NAMED "KINGDOM OF MUSCLES."

MY EMPLOYEES ARE ALL STEROID-GOBBLING EX-CONVICTS.

- WOW, THAT SOUNDS AWESOME!

- 'ROID RAGE IS NOT AWESOME, YOUNG MAN.

IT'S TERRIFYING.

THAT'S WHY I'M HIDING IN YOUR BASEMENT.

- [WHISPERING] They're after me.

- YOU NEED TO LEAVE.

- OF COURSE I DO, MILADY.

AMERICA NEEDS ME.

GOOD DAY, ALL, AND PEACE BE WITH YOU.

- [ROAR]

UHH. MOTHER, I'M A LITTLE TIGHT BACK HERE.

HOW ABOUT GIVING THE OLD HUMP A SQUEEZE?

- SQUEEZE IT YOURSELF. I'M GOING TO CLEAN OUT THE BASEMENT.

- HEY, SEE IF HE LEFT ANY FLIES DOWN THERE. I'M STARVING.

- YOU HEARD SPACE GHOST, DAD.

THERE'S MONEY TO BE MADE SUPERHEROING, FOR THEM THAT KNOWS HOW TO.

- I DO LIKE MONEY. NEVER SAID I DIDN'T.

- GREAT. THEN WHAT'S OUR FIRST MOVE?

- HUH! WELL, IF I'M GOING TO DO THIS THING,

WE NEED TO FIND SOMEONE TO DO ALL THE WORK.

- LIKE A PARTNER. - EXACTLY.

SOMEONE I CAN CONTROL FROM THIS CHAIR.

AND THEY'LL HAVE TO UNDERSTAND THAT

THE DANGER IS ALL THEIRS, AND THE MONEY IS ALL MINE.

- GOT IT. - I AIN'T TAKING NO SHOTS TO THE CHEST.

THAT'S FOR THE PARTNER. - DOUBLE GOT IT!

- AND NO WOMEN. THE HUMP HAS NO TIME FOR SEXUAL ADVENTURES.

ONLY MONEY.

- THE HUMP? - THAT'S MY NEW NAME. YOU DIG IT?

- DIG IT? NO. I LOVE IT!

- GOOD. OH, AND I'LL NEED A HUMP PHONE

TO DIRECT MY SUPERSLAVE.

- I WILL GET THAT PHONE FOR YOU, HUMP.

- I AM GOING TO BE THE RICHEST SUPERHERO

NEVER TO LEAVE HIS OWN KITCHEN.

NOW, GET TO WORK.

[BUZZING]

- HUH! HELLO. YOU'VE REACHED THE HUMP. STATE YOUR EMERGENCY.

- YEAH, MY DAUGHTER'S HAVING A BIRTHDAY PARTY ON SATURDAY.

ARE YOU AVAILABLE FOR RIDES?

- MADAM, MY POWERS ARE NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN.

UNLESS THEY'RE RICH. ARE THEY RICH?

- WELL, NO, BUT-- - [ROAR]

CALL BACK WHEN THEY'RE RICH.

AH, MY FAITHFUL BUTLER HAS RETURNED.

TELL ME, GALVESTON, HAVE YOU FOUND ME A WORTHY SUPERPARTNER?

- [SIGH] HERE'S THE DEAL, HUMP.

- IN BUTLER SPEAK, IF YOU DON'T MIND.

- OH, RIGHT. AHEM.

THE FACT IS, I SPOKE TO

EVERYONE FROM HAMMERHEAD MAN TO OTTO VON SMASHENFACEN

TO SNACKSY THE KID.

- AND?

- WELL, THEY LAUGHED. A LOT.

- A SUPER LOT. AAH!

- [ROARING]

- HUH! YOU MEAN TO TELL ME

NOT ONE SUPERGUY WANTED TO JOIN THE HUMP

IN HIS FINANCIALLY REWARDING BATTLE AGAINST BADNESS AND WHATNOT?

- BUT I DID FIND ONE GENTLEMAN WHO WAS INTERESTED IN JOINING FORCES WITH YOU.

- AH. THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING. BRING HIM ON.

- OK. COME ON IN, SIR.

- I'M COMING.

EVIL IS ON THE WAY.

- HE'S NOT EXACTLY A GOOD GUY. - YEAH, SO?

- WAIT FOR IT. YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS THE EVIL.

AHA! EVIL HAS ARRIVED IN THIS KITCHEN.

BEHOLD THE SLUG.

[LAUGHS]

- RIGHT ON, MAN. - OH, NO.

I'VE FORGOTTEN MY POWER ORB.

I'LL JUST GO BACK TO MY GROTTO.

- NO, NO. THAT'S OK. WE GET THE IDEA.

- BUT I REALLY FEEL MORE COMFORTABLE WITH IT. I REALLY DO.

- SURE YOU DO. NOW, MY MANSERVANT GALVESTON

TELLS ME YOU'RE INTERESTED IN MY UNIQUE POWERS.

- OH, YES. YOU SEE, SLUGS NEED WATER,

WHICH YOU HAVE IN ABUNDANCE, YES?

AND YOUR NIGHT VISION WILL GUIDE MY NOCTURNAL MAYHEM.

MAYHEM!

[LAUGHS] I LOVE IT.

- HUH! - I LOVE IT.

- EXACTLY WHAT KIND OF MAYHEM DO YOU PERFORM?

- IN THE DARK OF NIGHT,

I CREEP INTO MY VICTIMS' GARDENS

AND FEED ON THE TENDER LEAVES OF THEIR BELOVED PLANTS.

NO LEAF IS SAFE FROM MY WRATH!

[LAUGHS]

- HUH! YOU GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE.

- ALL RIGHT. YOU DON'T HAVE TO YELL. I'M GOING.

- BRAK, THIS LOSER'S THE ONLY DUDE YOU COULD FIND

WHO WAS INTERESTED IN WORKING WITH ME?

- 'FRAID SO. I DID MY BEST, HUMPTY.

- I'M LEAVING A TRAIL ON THIS FLOOR.

GOOD LUCK CLEANING IT UP. [LAUGHS]

AAH! - AHH. WHAT DO YOU WANT?

- I UNDERSTAND YOU'RE SEEKING A CRIME-FIGHTING PARTNER.

I'D LIKE TO OFFER MY SERVICES.

- REALLY? - OF COURSE NOT, YOU IDIOT.

I'M HERE TO LAUGH AT YOU. LOOK AT THAT HUMP.

[LAUGHS]

- HUH! [ROARS]

- [LAUGHS]

[CRASH]

THEY SAID YOU ROAR LIKE A CAMEL,

BUT I DIDN'T BELIEVE THEM. I DIDN'T BELIEVE THEM.

- [ROAR] - YOU'RE KILLING ME.

[LAUGHS]

- HOW ABOUT THIS FOR YOU? YOU LIKE THAT?

BRING THAT HOME TO YOUR MOTHER FOR SUNDAY DINNER!

- [BUZZING] - DAD, THE HUMP PHONE'S RINGING.

- IT'S PROBABLY JUST THE BIRTHDAY LADY.

TELL HER THE LITTLE JERKS CAN RIDE THE HUMP FOR 40 BUCKS,

BUT THE PARTY COMES TO ME.

- AHEM. GALVESTON HERE. TO WHOM IS THIS?

- THIS IS THE COMMISSIONER.

WE NEED THE CAMEL MAN DESPERATELY.

THERE'S A PACK OF THIRSTY OLD PEOPLE,

TRAPPED UPSIDE DOWN IN A CEILING OF A DARK CAVE.

THE CAMEL MAN IS THEIR ONLY HOPE.

- CAN YOU BRING THEM HERE?

- OF COURSE NOT. THEY'RE TRAPPED.

- THEN BUZZ OFF. - AND THEY'RE RICH.

- [ROAR] I'M ON IT.

THE HUMP. HE RIDES!

HUH! HUH! HUH!

AAH!

HUH! AAH!

YAA!

- [INDISTINCT SHOUTING]

- AND SO I REFRESHED THE OLD GEEZERS

WITH MY SWEET HUMP NECTAR

AND LED THEM OUT OF THE DARKNESS.

THEY PAID GOOD MONEY FOR IT, TOO.

- WOW! THAT SOUNDS AWESOME!

- YEAH, AND THOSE OLD GEEZERS

TOLD ME THERE WERE OTHER THIRSTY GEEZERS

TRAPPED IN THE DARK ALL OVER THE PLACE.

WE'RE GOING TO BE RICH.

- YOU THE FELLA WHAT'S SAVING MY OLD PEOPLE?

- WHY, YES, MY TOOTHY YOUNG ADMIRER.

WOULD YOU LIKE MY AUTOGRAPH? WHAT'S THE NAME?

- BITIN' LARRY.

- THAT'S AN INTERESTING NAME.

WHY DO THEY CALL YOU--OW!

- [ROAR] - MY HUMP!

- LOOKY HERE, MA. MERLE HAGGARD'S FIXIN' TO PLAY AT THE CIVIC CENTER.

YOU GO AND GET US SOME TICKETS. GO ON, NOW.

[ROAR]

- I'M GOING TO BITE YOU BACK SOMEDAY, LARRY.

- LARRY? YOU CALL ME "HUMP"

WHEN YOU TALK AT ME, BOY. [ROAR]

[WOMAN SINGING INDISTINCTLY]

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP

CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org--

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