Original subtitles

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP

- MOTHER, SINCE WHEN DID YOU LIKE GORY MOVIES LIKE THAT?

I'VE NEVER SEEN SO MUCH BLOOD.

- YOU JUST DIDN'T GET IT. - GET WHAT?

- THAT MAN WAS AN UNLICENSED PHYSICIAN.

HE HAD NO RIGHT TO MUTILATE THAT SCOUT TROOP LIKE THAT.

THEY JUST WANTED TO HIDE IN THEIR CARDBOARD BOXES AND DRINK COUGH SYRUP.

WAS THAT ANY REASON TO BLEED THEM DRY?

- THAT'S WHAT MADE IT FUNNY.

- AND DID YOU HAVE TO LAUGH SO LOUD DURING THE BLEEDINGS?

EVEN THE WOMAN WITH THE CRYING BABY ASKED YOU TO KEEP QUIET.

- I SWEAR, I WANTED TO RIP THAT BRAT OUT OF HER ARMS

AND BEAT HER WITH IT.

- WHAT'S COME OVER YOU LATELY, MOTHER?

YOU'RE ACTING VERY PECULIAR.

- WATCH OUT! - HUH? WHAT? ¡AY!

- UHH...UH!

- THAT NEVER HAPPENED. - SURE, IT DID.

- LET'S GO SEE WHAT WE HIT.

- IT WAS PROBABLY JUST A SKUNK.

- IT DIDN'T CRUNCH LIKE A SKUNK.

HEY, MAYBE IT'S STILL ALIVE AND WE'LL GET TO SNAP ITS NECK.

- BUT, MOTHER-- - COME ON. IT'LL BE FUN.

- ¡AY, MADRE DE DIOS! IT'S ZORAK!

- IT WAS ZORAK.

HEH HEH. HE'S DEAD, ALL RIGHT.

- I HATED ZORAK ALL MY LIFE,

BUT NOW THAT HE'S DEAD, I HATE HIM EVEN MORE

BECAUSE AS AN UNREGISTERED ALIEN

WITHOUT PROPER DRIVING CREDENTIALS,

I'LL GO TO JAIL FOR KILLING THIS PIECE OF CRAP.

- NOBODY IS GOING TO JAIL.

WE JUST NEED TO MOP UP A BIT.

YOU CUT HIS HANDS OFF. I'LL DO THE HEAD.

NO PRINTS, NO DENTAL, NO PROBLEM.

- BUT THESE ARE MY DATING CLOTHES, BABY.

I DON'T WANT TO GET ZORAK ALL OVER MY NEW CHINOS.

COME ON.

- ALL RIGHT. I'LL HANDLE IT. GET IN THE CAR.

- SO WHAT DID YOU DO WITH THE BODY?

- WHAT BODY? MY BODY?

IT'S IN THE TRUNK, CHAP.

HA HA HA HA!

CAN I SLEEP IN YOUR BED TONIGHT, DAD?

- UH, HA HA HA.

YEAH. THAT'S FUNNY, DARLING.

HEH.

- I LOVE YOU.

- YES, AND I LOVE YOU, TOO, BLEEDING HEAD OF ZORAK.

- THEN KISS ME.

- OH, DO I HAVE TO?

- KISS MY BLEEDING BEAK!

- ♪ I'M IN A HAPPY PLACE - KISS IT! KISS IT!

- ♪ I'M IN A HAPPY PLACE

MMM. OH. MMM.

YOU KNOW, I HAVE TO ADMIT, MOTHER,

I WASN'T ON BOARD WITH THIS WHOLE MURDER THING AT FIRST,

BUT THIS GREEN CHICKEN IS FRIGGING SWEET.

- IT'S NOT CHICKEN.

- I KNOW WHAT IT IS, BUT I PREFER NOT TO DWELL ON IT.

MMM. MMM. DAMN!

WHO WOULD'VE THOUGHT SUCH A TOUGH LITTLE RUNT

WOULD BE SO TENDER AND DELECTABLE?

BRAK IS GONNA LOVE THIS.

- BRAK CAN'T KNOW ABOUT THIS. HE'LL RAT US OUT.

- YES. IF ANYBODY COULD FIND A PROBLEM WITH EATING HIS BEST FRIEND,

IT WOULD BE BRAK.

HE'S SO ANAL.

- ♪ WHO GOT THE BUTT? I GOT THE BUTT ♪

♪ BRAK GOT THE BUTT? THAT'S RIGHT, THAT'S RIGHT ♪

♪ LET IT WORK, LITTLE BROTHER, LET IT WORK ♪

♪ HUH AH, OOH OOH OOH AH

YEAH.

- GOOD MORNING, SON. WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?

- YES. HOW THE HELL ARE YOU?

- OH, I'M ALL RIGHT.

SO TELL ME...

♪ WHO GOT THE BUTT?

- ♪ BRAK GOT THE BUTT - ♪ BRAK GOT THE BUTT

- ♪ SAY IT AGAIN, Y'ALL

- MM, I DON'T THINK SO. - OK. THAT'S COOL.

HEY, DID ZORAK COME BY YET?

HE'S GONNA LEND ME SOME OF HIS MAGAZINES,

MAKE A MAN OUT OF ME.

- WELL, WE HAVEN'T SEEN HIM, HAVE WE, FATHER?

- MMM! MM MM MM. - HAVE WE, FATHER?

- UH-UH.

- NOW SIT DOWN AND EAT YOUR BREAKFAST.

[SNIFF]

- WOW. THIS SMELLS FAMILIAR. WHAT IS IT?

- MM.

TAKE A BITE. IT'S GOOD STUFF.

- ARMPH. MM MM.

OH, SWEET LORD, THIS IS AWESOME!

- WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK A BONE, HONEY?

- WOULD I! - I SAVED YOU A BIG, JUICY ONE.

- THERE YOU GO. THAT'S A GOOD BOY.

- ARMPH. MMPH. ALL GONE.

- THERE. NOW HE'S AN ACCOMPLICE.

- I AM? OH, BOY.

I'M GONNA GO FIND ZORAK AND TELL HIM.

HERE. YOU CAN WEAR THESE NEW SHOES I BOUGHT FOR YOU.

- THEY'RE FROM THE LAND OF FRANCE, SON,

WHERE THEY EAT HORSES.

THANKS FOR THE NEW KICKS, MOM. TO THE OUTSIDE!

♪ UH UH, UH UH UH

♪ WHO GOT THE SHOES? BRAK GOT THE SHOES ♪

♪ WATCH 'EM WORK, LITTLE BROTHER ♪

♪ PRRUMP TUM PA TUM

♪ A-DUM PA DUM PA DUM TUM

♪ TA DA DA DUM, TA DA DA DUM ♪

♪ TUM DA DA DA DUM

YEAH!

- OH, HEY, WONDERCHEESE. HAVE YOU SEEN ZORAK?

- NO. WHY ARE YOU WEARING BONES ON YOUR FEET?

- BONES? IS THAT HOW YOU REFER TO FINE FRENCH FOOTLERY?

IF SO, THEN I SCOFF AT YOUR LOCATION.

A-HA! A-HA HA HA!

A-HA!

- I'VE NEVER WORN SHOES. HOW DO THEY FEEL?

- LIKE I'M 62 INCHES OF BONE-STOMPING MACHISMO,

AND, BROTHER, THAT'S A FEELING THAT SMELLS LIKE SUCCESS.

- I MUST HAVE SHOES!

TO FRANCE!

- HAVE A GOOD TIME, BUDDY.

[ACCORDION PLAYING]

- FRANCE RULES!

- MORE ZORAK, PLEASE.

ANOTHER EYEBALL?

HOW MANY DID THIS JOKER HAVE?

I FEEL LIKE I ATE 10 ALREADY.

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT, DEAD EYE?

MMM.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

- HELLO?

YES. THIS IS MOM.

POLICE?

QUESTIONS ABOUT WHAT?

WELL, I DON'T KNOW HOW THAT CAN BE.

HE'S SITTING RIGHT HERE.

NO. I'M NOT LYING.

FINE. COME SEE FOR YOURSELF.

DONKEY'S ASS.

- WHAT'S WRONG, MOTHER?

- THE POLICE ARE ON THEIR WAY OVER,

AND THEY EXPECT TO SEE ZORAK.

- BUT ZORAK IS DEAD.

HOLY CRAP, MOTHER. YOU DID A GREAT JOB.

EVEN I BELIEVE I'M ZORAK.

[IMITATING ZORAK] HEY, TOOTS, YOU EVER KNOCK BOOTS WITH THE BIG, GREEN BUG MAN?

BECAUSE I GOT THE BOOTS.

- GOOD DAY, MA'AM. - YOU SEE, CONSTABLE?

- THERE'S ZORAK RIGHT OVER THERE.

- HELLO, EVERYBODY. I HATE YOU. HEH HEH HEH.

- GIVE IT UP, SIR. YOU'RE NOT ZORAK.

YOU'RE JUST A SPRAY-PAINTED DWARF IN HOT PANTS.

- ZORAK, HE LIVES. HA HA HA! - OK, MA'AM.

- I THINK I BETTER HAVE A LOOK AT YOUR CAR.

IT MATCHES THE DESCRIPTION A WITNESS GAVE US.

- WITNESS?

- FAT KID, PURPLE, KIND OF A SISSY.

- CLARENCE? - THAT'S THE GUY.

- NOW LET'S SEE THAT CAR.

- I'M AFRAID YOU'LL NEED A WARRANT FOR THAT, PORKY.

- THAT HURT. IT REALLY DID.

SO I'LL BE BACK WITH THAT WARRANT.

YEAH.

[DOOR CLOSES]

- HE BOUGHT IT, MOTHER.

HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA!

- YOU IDIOT.

WHEN HE GETS BACK WITH THAT WARRANT, WE'RE SCREWED.

DO YOU KNOW HOW THEY TREAT TINY MEN LIKE YOU IN PRISON?

¡AY AY AY!

¡AYYYY AYYYY!

WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?

- WE'RE GOING TO REVIVE ZORAK.

I KNOW A BLOKE THAT OWES ME A FAVOR.

NOW GRAB THAT LAST FILLET AND LET'S GO.

[BIRD SQUAWKS]

- 'SUP, DOGS?

WELCOME TO SPRING BREAK AT P.C. BEACH.

Y'ALL READY TO PARTY? HUH?

- WE'RE NOT HERE TO PARTY.

- WELL, THAT'S TOO BAD BECAUSE MARLON LOVES A FEISTY CHICKIE BABY

WHO KNOWS HOW TO LAY IT DOWN DAYTONA STYLE.

WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF!

A-WHOOOO!

- I'M DOWN WITH THAT, DUDE.

- WHAT ARE YOU FOLKS DRINKING? BUTTERY NIPPLE? HURRICANE?

HOW ABOUT SEX ON THE BEACH?

SEX ON THE BEACH. YEAH. YEAH!

- DO IT. OOH. - WE DON'T WANT SEX ON THE BEACH.

- WE WANT YOU TO TAKE THIS HUNK OF MEAT

AND BRING IT BACK TO LIFE.

CAN YOU DO IT?

- I'VE GOT A HUNK OF MEAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO BRING BACK TO LIFE FOR YEARS.

IT'S RIGHT OVER THERE, MAN.

[BUZZING]

BUT THIS ONE IS A LITTLE FRESHER,

SO HELL YEAH, I CAN DO IT.

MOOSWA!

- AAH. GOO GOO GOO GOO.

- YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS.

- THAT'S RIGHT, I CAN'T...

BECAUSE IT'S SPRING BREAK!

PUT A ROLL IN YOUR FREAKY SOUL.

♪ A-BOP BOP BA DEE AH DA BOP

♪ BOOM

- GET IT RIGHT, OR I'LL GRIND YOUR OYSTERS INTO PIXIE DUST.

- DUDE, YOUR OLD LADY IS KIND OF A BUZZKILL.

- ARE YOU HAPPY, MOTHER? YOU'VE KILLED THE MAN'S BUZZ.

- SHUT UP. WE'RE LEAVING.

GET TO WORK, INFIDEL.

- DON'T WORRY. I'LL DROP HIM BY LATER GOOD AS NEW.

- DO NOT DISAPPOINT ME.

- OH, YES, MA'AM. I'LL GET RIGHT TO WORK,

FRICKING SLAVE-DRIVING HAG WAGON,

BUT FIRST, I NEED A FEW SKINNY MINUTES

IN YE OLDE SENSATION CHAMBER.

PARTY TIME! A-WHOOOO!

SWEET JAMAICAN VAPORS, SET ME FREE.

- ZORAK! ZORAK!

HERE, BUDDY, BUDDY, BUDDY, BUDDY, BUDDY!

- I'M WARM AND SAFE, SAFE AND WARM.

DON'T HIT ME. NO CARS!

NO CARS, NO CARS, NO CARS.

- CLARENCE? - OH, HELLO, BRAK.

- I'M DRESSING UP LIKE MOMMY TODAY.

EHH, GOO GOO.

- YOU OK, CLARENCE?

- NO, NOT REALLY.

I SAW SOMETHING VERY DISTURBING LAST NIGHT,

SO I DECIDED TO SEEK COMFORT IN MOMMY'S SUNDRESS AND BONNET.

I FEEL SO GOOD NOW, SO SAFE.

- OH, THAT'S NICE. HAVE YOU SEEN ZORAK?

- ZORAK? AAAAAH!

- BECAUSE I WAS GONNA SHOW HIM MY NEW SHOES!

- AAAAAAH!

- CLARENCE, IS THERE SOMETHING YOU WANT TO TELL ME?

- YEAH. IT ALL STARTED LAST NIGHT.

YOU SEE, WE WERE OUT GRABBING A CLUB SALAD.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO SALAD CITY?

- MOM, CLARENCE JUST TOLD ME THAT YOU AND DAD KILLED--

ZORAK! YOU'RE ALIVE!

- I'M NOT EXACTLY SURE IF THAT'S REALLY WHO YOU THINK IT IS.

- HELLO, CLARENCE. HOW'S OUR LITTLE WITNESS TODAY?

- UH, HA HA HA. FINE.

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO TO ME?

- OH, NOTHING, DEAR.

I JUST WANTED TO SHOW YOU THE BASEMENT,

WHERE WE KEEP ALL THE SPECIAL CANDY.

- HMM. I SENSE DANGER...

BUT I'M AWFULLY TEMPTED BY THE SPECIAL CANDY.

HMM. I SENSE DANGER,

BUT I'M AWFULLY TEMPTED BY THE SPECIAL CANDY.

- THEN LET'S GO VISIT THE SPECIAL CANDY.

IT'S CALLING YOU.

♪ CLARENCE, CLARENCE

- IT IS CALLING ME. LEAD THE WAY.

- ♪ LA LA LA - ♪ LA LA LA LA

- ♪ LA LA-- HEY, THAT'S NOT CANDY.

AAAH! AAH!

GOSH, THAT HURTS.

[POWER TOOLS WHIRRING]

EEEH! AAAAAAH!

[SAWING]

DON'T CUT ME. I WON'T SAY ANYTHING.

- SO WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MY NEW SHOES?

- [IMITATING ZORAK] I THINK THEY LOOK LIKE CRAP,

JUST LIKE YOU, YOU BIG JACKASS. HA HA HA!

- WHERE'S THAT CANDY YOU PROMISED?

AAH! WHAT ARE YOU DO--

[GUNSHOT]

[FOOTSTEPS]

[DOOR SLAMS]

- ANYONE FOR SAUSAGES?

THEY'RE FRESH.

[DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES]

- ♪ I'M BACK

- WOW! I GOT TWO MOMS NOW,

ONE FOR EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK.

- OH, NO, HONEY.

BRENDA HERE IS JUST A LOOK-ALIKE I HIRED TO TAKE CARE OF YOU BOYS

WHILE I WAS ON HOLIDAY AT THE BEACH.

HOW DID IT GO, BRENDA?

- [COCKNEY ACCENT] NOTHING OUT OF THE ORDINARY, MISSIS.

PRETTY BORING, REALLY.

- SHOULD I EVEN ASK WHY CLARENCE'S HEAD IS ON A PLATTER

AND MY HUSBAND IS PAINTED GREEN?

- HUSBAND? HUH?

- KICK OUT THE JAMS, BEAVER SQUEEZERS,

AND SAY HELLO TO THE NEW MISS P.C. BEACH.

- HA HA HA!

- DAMN!

- DAMN! - DAMN!

- DAMN! - DAMN!

- DAMN!

- HUH! WHO GOT THE BUTT?

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP

CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org--

- WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF! A-WHOOOO!

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