Original subtitles

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP

HA HA HA!

HA HA HA!

HA HA HA!

GIVE ME MY MAIL!

SCREW YOU! IT'S MINE!

ZORAK, JUST GIVE HIM HIS MAIL.

BRAK IS NOT ENJOYING THIS GAME.

COME AND GET ME, JERK!

AAH!

OH, COME ON, Y'ALL.

LET'S DO SOMETHING FUN.

AAH! AAH!

I STILL GOT YOUR MAIL! HA!

♪ DA DA DA DA DEE DEE DEE DEE ♪

MOTHER, DO THEY MAKE HIGH-HEELED SHOES FOR MEN?

I'M ASKING FOR A FRIEND.

[EXPLOSION]

BRAK, WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON OUT THERE?

OH, ZORAK'S PLAYING

A NEW GAME HE MADE UP

CALLED "I STEAL YOUR MAIL AND KEEP IT."

HE DIDN'T GET OUR MAIL, DID HE?

NO. I WENT OUT AND GOT IT EARLY THIS MORNING,

BEFORE ZORAK MADE BAIL.

GOOD WORK. TAKE THE REST OF THE DAY OFF.

OH, HONEY, IT LOOKS LIKE YOU GOT ANOTHER LETTER

FROM THE NEIGHBORHOOD ASSOCIATION.

OH, JUST THROW IT AWAY.

DEAR, YOU BETTER READ THIS ONE.

IT SAYS, "FINAL NOTICE."

OH, GO AHEAD. LET'S HEAR IT.

I DON'T KNOW WHY I PUT UP WITH THIS BULLCRAP,

A MAN OF MY STATURE.

"DEAR NEIGHBOR,

"DESPITE NUMEROUS WARNINGS,

"YOU CONTINUE TO VIOLATE NEIGHBORHOOD RULES

"BY RETRIEVING YOUR MORNING PAPER

WEARING ONLY EUROPEAN-STYLE BRIEFS."

I SENT THEM A LETTER ABOUT THAT.

"IF, AS YOUR LETTER EXPLAINED,

"YOU MUST CONTINUE THIS PRACTICE FOR MEDICAL REASONS,

"PLEASE BEND AT THE KNEE

"RATHER THAN THE WAIST.

"SOME THINGS ARE BETTER LEFT A MYSTERY.

"THIS IS YOUR FINAL NOTICE REGARDING THIS MATTER.

SINCERELY, GALROG."

WHO DOES THIS GALROG THINK HE IS?

WELL, HE'S PRESIDENT OF THE NEIGHBORHOOD ASSOCIATION, DEAR.

OH, IS HE? WELL, HOW COME

NO ONE HAS EVER SEEN HIM?

HE JUST SITS IN HIS CAVE,

FIRING OFF LETTERS TELLING ME WHAT TO DO.

HA! "CUT YOUR GRASS, CLEAN YOUR GUTTERS,

PUT YOUR PANTS BACK ON." BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH!

HONEY, I THINK YOU'RE OVERREACTING.

NO, NO, NO. NOT THIS TIME, I'M NOT.

I'M TIRED OF BEING PUSHED AROUND

LIKE A STOLEN SHOPPING CART

FULL OF ROTTEN PUMPKIN MEAT.

IT'S TIME I DID SOMETHING ABOUT THIS.

WHAT YOU GONNA DO, DAD?

I'M GOING TO RUN AGAINST GALROG

FOR PRESIDENT!

HOLY GHERKIN PICKLES, POP!

ARE YOU REALLY?

I'M GOING TO RUN, I'M GOING TO WIN,

AND THERE WILL BE SOME CHANGES AROUND HERE,

NOT ALL OF THEM FOR THE BETTER EITHER.

AND IF MY SUBJECTS DON'T APPROVE,

WELL, THAT'S TOO STINKING BAD,

BECAUSE I AM THE KING NOW!

DON'T YOU MEAN PRESIDENT?

WOMAN, MUST YOU ALWAYS BRING ME DOWN

WHEN I'M AT THE APEX OF MY PASSIONS?

I'M NOT SURE IF THIS IS SUCH A GOOD IDEA.

GALROG HAS DONE AN EXCELLENT JOB AS PRESIDENT.

THE NEIGHBORHOOD'S CLEAN. IT'S SAFE.

BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.

WOW! PRESIDENT DAD.

CAN WE HAVE AN ARMY OF GUERRILLAS?

BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE FANTASTIC, MAN.

DRAFT A PROPOSAL. I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO.

FANTASTIC!

COME ON, BRAK. LET'S GET STARTED.

WE HAVE MUCH WORK TO DO.

Narrator: LATER ON, WHEN IT WAS EVENING...

MOTHER, LISTEN TO THIS STORY

I HAD PLANTED IN THE PAPER.

[AHEM]

"PRESIDENT GALROG HAS CHANGED

"THE SPEED LIMIT IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD

"TO 140 MILES PER HOUR.

"IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT,

"THEN STAY OFF MY FRIGGIN' STREETS, GALROG SAID.

AND BITE ME WHILE YOU'RE AT IT."

I WROTE THAT MYSELF. WHAT DO YOU THINK?

DO YOU REALLY THINK LYING

IS THE RIGHT WAY TO GO ABOUT THIS?

THAT'S POLITICS, BABY. THE BEST LIAR WINS.

OH, LOOK. MY COMMERCIAL IS COMING ON.

Man, voice-over: DAD PROMISES SUNNY DAYS

AND PERFECT HEALTH FOR EVERYONE.

GALROG WANTS TO DESTROY YOUR BELOVED PETS

WITH PET BOMBS THAT HE MAKES IN HIS EVIL GARAGE.

DAD PROMISES TO GIVE FREE MONEY

TO ANYONE WHO WANTS SOME EXTRA MONEY.

GALROG WANTS TO TAKE YOUR MONEY AND BUY A GOLDEN KNIFE

SO HE CAN STAB YOU WITH IT IN THE HEART.

DAD IS A LOVING FATHER AND A FAITHFUL HUSBAND.

JUST LISTEN.

DAD IS A GOOD FATHER AND VERY SEXY, TO BOOT.

HE'D BE THE PERFECT MAN FOR THE JOB...

ANY JOB, LADIES. HA HA HA!

I NEVER SAID THAT.

QUIET. YOU'RE MISSING IT.

GALROG DOESN'T HAVE A FAMILY.

HE'S A BACHELOR... IF YOU CATCH MY DRIFT.

AND HE'S LETTING THE NEIGHBORHOOD

GO TO HELL IN A HANDCART, MY FRIEND.

GALROG SAID THE WORLD'S OLDEST PROFESSION

IS COOL IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD,

SUCKERS.

I RECEIVED ASSURANCES FROM MR. GALROG

THAT A YOUNG ENTREPRENEUR, SUCH AS MYSELF,

WOULD NOT BE INHIBITATED

BY THE AUTHORIFICATIONS IN THIS PARTICULAR LOCATION.

GALROG IS WIGGITY-WHACK WITH OUR INDUSTRY,

SUCKERS.

SCENES LIKE THAT WILL NOT HAPPEN

IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD WHEN I'M THE PRESIDENT.

I'M HERE...FOR YOU.

3 LETTERS NEVER SAID QUITE SO MUCH.

MY GOODNESS. THAT WAS NOTHING BUT A PACK OF LIES.

HEY, HOW ABOUT THAT ZORAK?

FOR THE MONEY, I THOUGHT HE WAS PRETTY GOOD.

BY THE WAY, DON'T EXPECT ANY MORE MAIL THIS WEEK.

I AM VERY DISAPPOINTED.

I DIDN'T THINK EVEN YOU WOULD STOOP THIS LOW.

I'M GOING TO BED.

AH, SOMEONE FEELING A LITTLE FRISKY NOW?

OH, PLEASE.

HEY, DAD, I'VE BEEN WORKING

ON A NEW CAMPAIGN SONG.

YOU WANT TO HEAR IT?

I'M NOT IN THE MOOD RIGHT NOW, SON.

WELL, I'M PRETTY MUCH

GOING TO DO IT ANYWAY. HERE WE GO!

♪ THAT'S THE ONE, DON'T YOU KNOW ♪

♪ SCOOP-A-DOODLE DADDLE-DEEDLE-DO ♪

♪ NOW, I'M NOT SURE WHAT HE CAN DO ♪

♪ BUT HE KNOWS THE BEEDLE-DEEDLE ♪

♪ AND THE BIDDLE- DADDLE-SHOO-POP ♪

♪ EVERYBODY IN THE HOUSE SAY DAD-A-DO ♪

[HORN PLAYING]

♪ LIKE YOUR LOVE FOR THE DADDLE-DIDDLE-DOH ♪

[HORN PLAYING]

♪ BADDLE-DIDDLE-DADDLE ♪

♪ VOTE FOR DAD ♪

BRAK, YOU'VE DONE IT.

YOU CAPTURED MY ESSENCE WITH A CLASSIC JAZZ FLAVOR.

BRILLIANT!

NOW LET'S SEE WHAT I'M DOING IN THE POLLS.

FINALLY, THE LATEST POLLS SHOW DAD LEADING

INCUMBENT GALROG BY A SIGNIFICANT MARGIN.

THIS HAS PROMPTED GALROG TO ACCEPT DAD'S OFFER

TO A TELEVISED DEBATE.

GALROG HAS NOT APPEARED IN PUBLIC FOR OVER 1,000 YEARS.

WOW! THAT'S A LONG TIME. GOOD NIGHT.

[SINGING]

WHAT IS THAT NOISE YOU'RE MAKING?

ARE YOU TRYING TO JAM MY CIRCUITS?

BECAUSE YOU WILL FAIL!

OH, I'M SORRY, MR. THUNDERCLEESE.

I'M ALL EXCITED BECAUSE I'M ON MY WAY

TO WATCH MY DAD WIN THE BIG DEBATE WITH GALROG.

YOUR FATHER IS A FOOL.

HOW DARE YOU SPEAK OF YOUR FUTURE PRESIDENT LIKE THAT?

I WON'T HEAR OF IT!

YOUR FATHER DOESN'T KNOW WHAT HE'S GETTING HIMSELF INTO.

GALROG IS NOT ONLY A WONDERFUL AND EFFECTIVE NEIGHBORHOOD PRESIDENT,

HE IS ALSO A VERY DANGEROUS ENTITY.

COME AGAIN?

HUNDREDS OF YEARS AGO, BEFORE HE SETTLED INTO RETIREMENT,

GALROG WAS A TERRIBLE PLANET-DEVOURING MONSTER.

HUH?!

NO ONE, NOT EVEN ARMIES, COULD DEFEAT HIM.

OF COURSE, THAT WAS BEFORE THE DAYS OF...

THUNDERCLEESE!

Chorus: ♪ THUNDERCLEESE ♪

WOW! THAT WAS NEAT. DO IT AGAIN.

NO!

OH, MAN.

GALROG'S TENURE AS PRESIDENT HAS TAMED HIS RAGE.

IF HE WERE TO LOSE THIS ELECTION,

WHO KNOWS WHAT FURY HE WILL UNLEASH.

YOUR FATHER IS IN GRAVE DANGER!

OH, NO! I'VE GOT TO GET TO THE DEBATE AND SAVE MY DAD!

[CRICKETS CHIRPING]

[PANTING]

MOM, I'VE GOT TO STOP THE DEBATE.

WHERE'S DADDY?

OH, HE'S ABOUT TO GO ONSTAGE.

WHAT'S THE PROBLEM, DEAR?

THUNDERCLEESE JUST TOLD ME

THAT GALROG IS A TERRIBLE MONSTER,

AND IF HE LOSES TO DAD,

HE'S GONNA EAT DAD AND EVERYBODY,

ESPECIALLY DAD!

OH, DEAR.

HE'S GOT TO LOSE, MOM!

HE'S GOT TO LOSE TO LIVE!

[SOBBING]

YOU KNOW WHAT, BRAK?

I DON'T THINK YOU HAVE TO WORRY.

HAVE YOU EVER REALLY LISTENED

TO YOUR FATHER, THE THINGS HE SAYS?

OF COURSE I LISTEN TO DAD.

HE'S THE SMARTEST GUY I KNOW.

YOU REALLY ARE A CHIP OFF THE OLD BLOCK.

WHO THE WHAT? BLOCK? WHAT BLOCK?

LET'S JUST WATCH THE DEBATE, DEAR.

TRUST ME. EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE FINE.

Announcer: WELCOME, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

LET'S MEET THE CANDIDATES.

FIRST THE CHALLENGER, DAD.

[ONE PERSON APPLAUDS]

OH, YOUR FATHER LOOKS SO HANDSOME.

YOU KNOW WHAT'S SURPRISING?

HE'S MUCH TALLER IN PERSON.

AND NOW PLEASE WELCOME

YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD ASSOCIATION PRESIDENT...GALROG.

[APPLAUSE]

HE DIDN'T EVEN WEAR A TIE. WHAT A CLOWN.

GRR...

DAD WILL PRESENT HIS OPENING STATEMENT.

YOU'VE ALL SEEN MY COMMERCIALS.

YOU'VE READ THE PAPERS.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY WE'RE HERE.

JUST VOTE FOR ME, I WILL WIN,

AND THAT WILL BE THAT. YOUR TURN, BIG BOY.

GRR!

GALROG WANTS TO DISCUSS THE ISSUES.

ISSUES? SURE. FINE. GO AHEAD.

WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT THE SIDEWALKS?

SIDEWALKS?

WHO USES SIDEWALKS? HA HA. NOT ME.

I WILL TEAR THEM ALL UP

AND MAKE A GIANT PILE OF JAGGED CONCRETE

FOR THE KIDS TO PLAY ON.

[AUDIENCE BOOS]

GALROG WOULD REPAIR THE SIDEWALKS

AND BUILD A NEW PARK FOR THE CHILDREN TO PLAY IN.

[APPLAUSE]

SURE, HOT DOG. SPEND ALL THE MONEY ON YOURSELF.

HEY, DO YOU BELIEVE THIS GUY?

GRR! HOW WOULD YOU IMPROVE

OUR NEIGHBORHOOD SECURITY WATCH?

I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF IT.

I LIKE TO WATCH THE TV, THOUGH.

AS PRESIDENT, I WOULD USE MY POWER

TO UNSCRAMBLE A COUPLE OF THOSE CHANNELS

AT THE TOP OF THE DIAL. YOU KNOW THE ONES.

IT'S SO FRUSTRATING. I'M A VISUAL GUY.

I LIKE PICTURE WITH MY SOUND.

WHAT ABOUT THE SEWERS?

YOU SAY SEWERS. I SAY WATER SLIDE.

ENOUGH OF THIS!

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

I HAVE BEEN A FAIR AND EFFICIENT PRESIDENT

FOR OVER A THOUSAND YEARS.

THIS MAN OFFERS YOU NOTHING

BUT EMPTY PROMISES AND SLANDER.

HE'S DRAGGING MY GOOD NAME THROUGH THE MUD!

"GALROG" A GOOD NAME? NO, NO.

LAWRENCE. NOW, THERE'S A NAME

YOU CAN SET YOUR WATCH BY.

WHAT DO YOU SAY, FOLKS? HUH? LAWRENCE?

Man: HOW ABOUT STANLEY? OR WILLARD?

I LIKE "GALROG" BETTER THAN THAT.

ED?

GRR! I WILL DESTROY YOU!

JUST LIKE YOU DID ALL THE PETS

WITH YOUR PET BOMBS YOU BUILT IN YOUR GARAGE.

I DON'T HAVE A GARAGE.

MY WIFE TURNED IT INTO A SEWING PARLOR CENTURIES AGO.

YOUR WIFE? WHO DO YOU THINK

YOU'RE FOOLING, MISTER...BACHELOR?

SHE'S RIGHT OVER THERE.

HI, HONEY. YOU'RE DOING GREAT.

YOU SHOW 'EM, DADDY.

YOU SEE, NEIGHBORS, THIS MAN'S CAMPAIGN

IS BASED ON NOTHING BUT LIES.

EXACTLY. AND THAT'S WHY I'M GOING TO WIN.

I CAN'T BELIEVE I LOST. 14 TO ONE?!

MOTHER, YOU VOTED FOR GALROG?

I WENT WITH MY GUT, BABE.

WHAT CAN I SAY? I LIKE SIDEWALKS.

WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M ABOUT TO SAY.

I'D RATHER HAVE A LIVE DAD THAN A DEAD PRESIDENT.

SPEAKING OF WHICH, CAN I GET YOU TO SIGN

THE BACK OF THIS CHECK?

AH, YOU WANT MY AUTOGRAPH.

UH...YEAH, SURE.

BUT WRITE "THUNDERCLEESE."

Thundercleese: WHERE ARE YOU? I WANT MY PAYCHECK!

HEY, PUT A RUSH ON THAT, WILL YOU?

Brak: ♪ SO LONG, FOLKS, SEE YOU SOON ♪

♪ HOPE YOU LOVED THE SHOW ♪

♪ COME ON NEXT TIME IF YOU LIKED IT ♪

♪ BUT IF YOU DIDN'T LIKE IT, THEN WATCH SOMETHING ELSE ♪

♪ OH, YEAH, OH, YEAH, YEAH ♪

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP

CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org--

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