Original subtitles

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP

[CRICKETS CHIRPING]

MOTHER, DID YOU MOVE MY CHAIR?

WHAT'S THAT, DEAR?

MY CHAIR--SOMEONE HAS DISTURBED IT. WAS IT YOU?

WELL, LET ME THINK.

YESTERDAY WAS CLEANING DAY,

AND I DID DUST-MOP THE FLOORS.

SO YOU DID MOVE IT.

NO, NO. I WOULD NEVER DO THAT.

I ALWAYS TAPE THE LEGS TO THE FLOOR,

AND THEN I VERY CAREFULLY

HAND-WIPE BENEATH YOUR CHAIR.

I'M NOT SURE IF I TRUST YOU.

THIS IS NOT RIGHT.

I'M TOO CLOSE TO THE TABLE.

I FEEL HEMMED IN.

HELP! I'M SMOTHERING! IT'S UNBEARABLE! AYE!

Brak: HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON DOWN THERE?

YOU'RE GROUNDED. THAT'S WHAT.

WHAT? WHY?

FOR MOVING MY CHAIR.

AND YOU CAN ROT UP THERE, FOR ALL I CARE.

I DON'T THINK BRAK MOVED YOUR CHAIR.

WE BOTH KNOW HOW UPSET YOU GET

WHEN YOUR THINGS AREN'T EXACTLY

WHERE YOU WANT THEM TO BE.

Brak: MOM, CAN I COME DOWN? I GOT TO TALK TO YOU.

TELL IT TO THE JUDGE... WHICH IS ME. GUILTY! CASE CLOSED.

BUT I REALLY GOT TO--

APPEAL DENIED.

BRAK, DID YOU MOVE YOUR DAD'S CHAIR?

NO. I LOVE MY DAD. I DON'T WANT TO UPSET HIM.

THEN YOU CAN COME DOWN.

WOMAN, ARE YOU OPENLY DEFYING ME?

WELL, YOU HEARD WHAT HE SAID-- HE DIDN'T DO IT.

I CAN'T HEAR ANYTHING. I'M TOO CLOSE TO THE TABLE.

HEY, DAD, HOW'S THE CHAIR SITUATION?

UNRESOLVED.

BRAK, THERE WAS SOMETHING YOU WANTED TO TALK TO ME ABOUT?

WHAT? OH, YEAH, YEAH.

[AHEM]

[GROANING LOUDLY]

OH, MY GOODNESS. HONEY, WHAT'S THE MATTER?

I'M SICK, MOM.

[GROANING]

I'M SO SICK.

HERE. LET ME FEEL YOUR FOREHEAD.

I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD TOUCH ME.

THIS DISEASE IS ON THE RAMPAGE!

IT'S SPREADING LIKE WILDFIRE!

GET HIM OUT! HE'S A BIOHAZARD!

HE'LL TAKE US ALL WITH HIM!

OH, NOW, REALLY.

FORGET HIM, MOTHER. HE'S ALREADY DEAD.

WILL YOU STOP? BRAK, LET ME FEEL YOUR FOREHEAD.

OK.

HMM...YOU'RE NOT WARM AT ALL.

REALLY? THAT'S GREAT NEWS, DOC.

DAD HAD ME SCARED FOR A MINUTE.

I ALMOST FORGOT I WAS FAKING. OH!

BRAK, WHY WERE YOU PRETENDING TO BE SICK?

LET ME BREAK IT DOWN FOR YOU, MOMMY.

I CAN'T GO TO SCHOOL TOMORROW.

I JUST CAN'T.

WHY NOT?

BECAUSE TOMORROW... IN BIOLOGY CLASS,

THEY'RE GONNA HAND ME A KNIFE,

AND IT'S GONNA BE SHARP,

AND THEY'RE GONNA SAY, "BRAK,

IT'S TIME TO STAB THAT CLAM!"

YOU MEAN YOU'RE JUST DISSECTING CLAMS FOR BIOLOGY?

THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT.

IT'S A SIMPLE EDUCATIONAL--

AH! EDUCATIONAL, YOU SAY.

YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THESE CLAMS, MOM.

THEY'RE SO CUTE.

AND MINE IS THE CUTEST OF ALL.

EVERY DAY, I STAY AFTER SCHOOL AND VISIT WITH HIM.

HE OPENS UP TO ME, MOM.

HE DOESN'T DO THAT FOR JUST ANYONE.

BRAK, IT'S TIME FOR A DIP

INTO YOUR OLD DAD'S POOL OF FANCIFUL WISDOM.

SOMETIMES IN LIFE, YOU MUST DO

WHAT YOU DON'T WANT TO DO,

LIKE SACRIFICING YOUR PRECIOUS FREEDOM

TO GET MARRIED AND RAISE A FAMILY

OR RIDING A MOPED TO WORK.

LOOK AT ME. I NEVER GET TO DO WHAT I WANT TO DO.

BUT DO I CRY ABOUT IT? NO.

DEAR.

OK, YES, BUT NOT IN FRONT OF ANYONE.

THE POINT IS, OCCASIONALLY,

YOU MUST DISSECT THINGS

THAT YOU HAVE RECENTLY FALLEN IN LOVE WITH.

IT MAY HURT, BUT SO DOES

HAVING YOUR FAVORITE CHAIR MOVED!

DO YOU UNDERSTAND, SON?

NOT REALLY.

TOUGH. YOU'RE GOING TO SCHOOL TOMORROW.

NOW GO TO BED.

OK.

I'M DOING THIS UNDER PROTEST.

WELL, ONCE AGAIN, BRAK HAS FOUND HIMSELF

IN A PICKLISH SITUATION.

WHAT IS HE GOING TO DO?

WAIT A MINUTE! I GOT IT!

SOMEBODY ONCE TOLD ME

THAT IF YOU WISH UPON A STAR WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT,

YOUR WISH WILL COME TRUE.

I WONDER IF THAT COULD POSSIBLY WORK.

♪ I WISH, I WISH MY NAME WAS BILL ♪

♪ BUT THAT'S NOT THE PROBLEM AT HAND ♪

♪ BRAK NEEDS SOME HELP FROM THE STARS ABOVE ♪

♪ SO HE CAN SAVE HIS FAVORITE, GOT TO HELP HIS FAVORITE ♪

♪ BILLY WANTS TO SAVE HIS CLAM ♪

AND MAYBE A LITTLE PILLOW,

SO HE CAN SLEEP NEXT TO ME AT NIGHT.

[CRICKETS CHIRPING]

♪ CLAM

[SNORING]

HELLO, BRAK. I'M SPOONY.

WHAT THE-- WHO THE--

SPOONY? HOW DID YOU GET HERE, SPOONY?

GOSH, I DON'T KNOW.

I'M JUST A TALKING WOODEN SPOON,

NOT ONE OF THOSE FANCY SILVER SPOONS

LIKE THE ONE RICKY SHROEDER

WAS BORN WITH IN HIS MOUTH.

I MET HIM AT SUNDANCE.

HE'S A PRETTY NICE GUY... IF YOU DON'T CROSS HIM.

DID YOU CROSS HIM?

YOU KNOW WHAT?

SPOONY JUST TOLD BRAK A BLATANT LIE.

I DON'T KNOW RICKY SHROEDER AT ALL.

I BET HE'S NICE, THOUGH.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? DID YOU COME TO HELP ME?

HELP YOU WITH WHAT? ARE YOU MAKING SOUP?

NO, I'M NOT MAKING SOUP!

I'M TRYING TO GET OUT OF GOING TO SCHOOL TOMORROW

SO I DON'T HAVE TO HURT MY FAVORITE CLAM.

MM-MMM! I SURE LOVE MAKING CLAM SOUP. LET'S GET STARTED.

NO! YOU GOT TO HELP ME.

CAN'T YOU USE YOUR MAGICAL POWERS?

MAGIC POWERS? HUH.

YOU THINK IF SPOONY COULD DO MAGIC,

HE'D HAVE DONE ALL THAT TIME IN PRISON?

PRISON?

THAT'S RIGHT. PRISON.

SOME BAD PEOPLE TRIED TO MAKE SPOONY INTO A SHIV.

SPOONY COULD TELL YOU SOME THINGS, MAN.

[SHIVERS]

LET ME LEVEL WITH YOU, BRAK.

I'M JUST A FORMER MASCOT

FROM A DISCONTINUED CHILDREN'S FOOD PRODUCT.

THE THING WAS...

SOME CHILDREN WERE INJURED.

REALLY? HOW MANY?

ALL THE CHILDREN WHO USED THE PRODUCT WERE INJURED, BRAK,

BUT THAT'S NEITHER HERE NOR THERE.

THE POINT IS, WHEN THE HEAT CAME DOWN,

SOMEONE HAD TO TAKE THE FALL.

WHY NOT THE SPOON? HE DOESN'T HAVE ANY FEELINGS.

THAT WAS THE PREVAILING SENTIMENT AT THE TIME.

WOW. THAT'S A SAD STORY,

BUT I DON'T SEE HOW IT'S HELPING ME WITH MY PROBLEM!

NO, SPOONY DOESN'T EITHER.

OH, WELL, I GUESS I'LL JUST HEAD BACK TO ALPHA 7

AND CHECK MY MESSAGES.

MAYBE THE PUBLISHERS CALLED ABOUT MY MEMOIRS.

LATER, BRAK.

SO LONG, SPOONY.

WELL, THAT WAS A WASTE OF TIME.

I GUESS IT'S GOOD-BYE BRAK,

THE HAPPY-GO-LUCKY MAN ABOUT TOWN,

AND HELLO BRAK, THE HEARTLESS CLAM SLAYER!

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

[SNORING]

♪ WAKE UP, BRAK, YOU SLEEPYHEAD ♪

♪ THE DAY IS BRIGHT AND NEW ♪

♪ GET YOUR RUMP ROAST OUT OF BED ♪

♪ I HAVE A LITTLE MATTER TO DISCUSS WITH YOU ♪

ALL RIGHT, WHO ARE YOU?

MY GIVEN NAME IS GEOFFREY,

BUT YOU WILL ADDRESS ME AS...WUNDERBURD.

LET ME GUESS.

YOU'RE HERE TO MAKE SOUP.

WAIT A MINUTE. DID SOMEONE COME BY HERE

CALLING HIMSELF SPOONY?

YEAH. HE WAS HERE HALF THE NIGHT

TELLING ME ABOUT THE TIME HE SPENT IN PRISON.

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

SPOONY WAS NEVER IMPRISONED.

HE MADE UP THAT STORY TO LAND A BOOK DEAL.

IT IS FABRICATION.

HIS NAME IS NOT SPOONY. IT'S CLAUDE.

HE IS A LUMBERJACK, LIKE MYSELF.

BUT HE'S A SPOON.

OF COURSE HE'S A SPOON NOW,

BUT ONCE HE WAS MY APPRENTICE LUMBERJACK.

ONE DAY, WHILE I WAS OFF PLEASURING

THE WOMEN OF THE VILLAGE...

CLAUDE STOLE MY SHARPEST AX

AND CUT DOWN THE LARGEST TREE IN THE FOREST.

HUH?!

THE TREE FELL ON THE HOUSE OF A WITCH.

IN HER ANGER, SHE TURNED CLAUDE INTO A TALKING SPOON.

WHAT? WHY DID SHE MAKE HIM A SPOON?

HOW SHOULD I KNOW? DO I LOOK LIKE A WITCH TO YOU?

NO. YOU DON'T LOOK MUCH LIKE A LUMBERJACK EITHER.

IF YOU WILL LET ME FINISH, I WILL GET TO THAT.

YOU SEE, WHEN THE WITCH DISCOVERED

THAT IT WAS MY AX THAT RUINED HER BUNGALOW,

SHE PUT MY BRAIN INTO THE BODY

OF THIS HIDEOUS LITTLE BIRD.

AH, DON'T GO SELLING YOURSELF SHORT THERE, CHUM.

I THINK YOU'RE QUITE HANDSOME.

TELL THAT TO THE WOMEN OF MY VILLAGE.

ALL THEY EVER SAY TO ME IS,

"SHOO! GO AWAY, LITTLE BIRD.

YOU CANNOT PLEASURE US ANYMORE."

I TELL YOU, MON AMI,

ONCE YOU'VE BEEN WITH A REAL WOMAN,

IT'S HARD TO BE SATISFIED WITH A LITTLE BIRD.

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT?

NO, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT,

AND WHAT'S MORE, I REALLY DON'T CARE.

WHY CAN'T THE STARS SEND ME SOMEONE WHO'S ON THE LEVEL?

CAN ANYONE HELP BRAK SAVE HIS CLAM?!

BUT, OF COURSE.

AND THAT ANYONE IS ME...

WUNDERBURD!

YEAH, YEAH.

IT'S TRUE.

YOU SEE, THE WITCH TOLD ME

I COULD HAVE MY MARVELOUS BODY BACK

IF I HELPED 100 PEOPLE BY GRANTING THEIR WISHES.

YOU, MY FRIEND, ARE NUMBER 100.

WOW! REALLY?

PRETTY GOOD DEAL, HUH?

YOU GET YOUR CLAM, I GET MY BODY,

AND THE LADIES GET PLEASURE.

WELL, WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR?

YOU KNOW WHAT I WANT. LET'S DO IT, MAN!

OUI, OUI. I JUST HAVE TO SING MY LITTLE WISH SONG,

AND WE'RE IN BUSINESS.

♪ WUNDERBURD HAS COME TODAY TO MAKE YOUR WISH COME TRUE ♪

♪ THE WISH YOU MADE WILL COME TO PASS ♪

♪ AS SOON AS MY SONG IS THROUGH-- ♪

AAH!

I DO NOT BELIEVE YOU DID THAT!

DID WHAT?

YOU ATE GEOFFREY! I MEAN, WUNDERBURD!

HE WAS ABOUT TO HELP ME.

FOLLOW ME AROUND A COUPLE HOURS. YOU'LL SEE HIM AGAIN.

HE MIGHT NOT LOOK SO WONDERFUL, THOUGH. HA!

OH...WELL, THAT WAS MY LAST CHANCE.

I GUESS I GOT TO GO TO SCHOOL NOW

AND WHACK A CLAM.

WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT UP ABOUT THAT STINKING CLAM?

YOU'VE BEEN WHINING ABOUT IT ALL WEEK.

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

KILLING COMES EASY TO YOU.

I, ON THE OTHER HAND,

AM THE SENSITIVE TYPE.

GOOD FOR YOU.

[BELCHING] GEOFFREY.

THAT FREED UP SOME ROOM. LET'S GET SOME BREAKFAST.

HI THERE, MOM. HEY, WHERE'S DAD?

OH, HE'S IN THE TRUNK OF THE CAR.

WHAT?

I JUST NEEDED 5 MINUTES TO MYSELF.

[BANGING]

MOTHER, CAN I COME OUT NOW?

HAS IT BEEN 5 MINUTES?

NO, MA'AM.

HAS ANYONE TOUCHED MY CHAIR?!

OH, FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE.

YOU WANT I SHOULD GO BASH HIM IN THE HEAD WITH A SHOVEL?

I GOT ONE. IT'S IN MY TRUCK.

DON'T YOU GO NEAR HIM.

HE'S JUST HAVING A LITTLE TIME-OUT.

SUIT YOURSELF. I WASN'T GONNA CHARGE YOU.

SAY, IT'S GETTING LATE.

SHOULDN'T YOU BOYS HURRY OFF TO SCHOOL?

YEAH. THANKS FOR REMINDING ME, MOM.

COME ON, ZORAK.

[DOOR OPENS]

[YAPPING EXCITEDLY]

AAH! LUTHER!

LUTHER?

OH, RIGHT. WHERE ARE MY MANNERS?

ZORAK, MOM, LUTHER. LUTHER, ZORAK, MOM.

NOW TALK TO ME, LUTHER! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

YOU SAY YOU BUSTED OUT OF SCHOOL?

YOU'RE ON THE LAM? AND YOU NEED MY HELP?

WOW. HE'S A BIG ONE.

NOW I SEE WHY YOU DIDN'T WANT TO CUT HIM.

HOW ABOUT I HIT HIM WITH THIS TAZER?

[YAPPING]

I WON'T LET HIM HURT YOU, LUTH.

HOW CAN I HELP YOU, BUDDY?

[YAPPING]

YOU NEED A CAR? I'LL ASK MY MOM.

MOM, CAN LUTHER USE THE CAR?

OH, SURE. THE KEYS ARE IN THE IGNITION.

YOU'RE ALL SET, LUTHER.

CALL ME WHEN YOU GET TO THE SAFEHOUSE.

YOU KNOW THE WAY, DON'T YOU?

[YAPPING]

Dad: MOTHER, HAS IT BEEN 5 MINUTES?

I CAN'T SEE MY WATCH. IT'S DARK IN HERE.

WHY ARE WE DRIVING? ARE WE GOING TO GET ICE CREAM?

LUTHER, DID YOU MOVE MY CHAIR?

[YAPPING]

MY CHAIR, LUTHER--

SOMEONE HAS DISTURBED IT. WAS IT YOU?

[YAPPING]

I'M NOT SURE IF I TRUST YOU.

YOU CHEAT AT CARDS ALL THE TIME.

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP

CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org--

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