Original subtitles

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP

Narrator: IT WAS ANOTHER PERFECT DAY.

THE SKY WAS BLUE. THE GRASS WAS GREEN.

AND THE GENERAL LEE WAS RUNNIN' LIKE SHE NEVER HAD BEFORE.

MEANWHILE, UP IN BRAK'S ROOM, HE AND HIS BUDDY, ZORAK, WERE WATCHING TELEVISION.

THAT'S BRAK ON THE LEFT.

Man on T.V.: THAT'S WHAT A P.I. DOES, MAMA--

SOLVE CRIMES AND GET IT ON.

OH, SCHNOZZO, HOW CAN I EVER... THANK YOU?

HOW 'BOUT PUTTIN' YOUR LIPS ON MY LIPS

AND LETTIN' THEM STAY THERE FOR A WHILE.

[KISSING]

MAN, THAT SCHNOZZO SURE HAS A WAY WITH THE LADIES.

OH, THAT WAS WONDERFUL.

NOT SO FAST, BABY, SCHNOZZO WANTS MORE.

[KISSING]

WHAT'S HE DOIN' NOW, ZORAK?

HMM, ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T PAY FOR THIS CHANNEL?

AH-AH. I DON'T THINK I CAN KISS ANY MORE.

THINK AGAIN, DUDE.

[KISSING]

EH, THAT SHOW SUCKS.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, DUDE? IT'S AWESOME!

WHERE'S THE VIOLENCE? WHERE'S THE BLOOD SPRAY?

WELL, HOW ABOUT WHEN SCHNOZZO TOOK THE BULLETS

OUT OF THE BAD GUY'S GUN AND HID THEM UNDER THE COUCH SO HE COULDN'T FIND THEM?

REMEMBER THAT?

YEAH, IT SUCKED.

THEN HE CALLED THE BAD GUY LATER,

AND HE SAID, "WHERE'S YOUR BULLETS, DUDE?

LOOKS LIKE YOUR AMMO-HAVIN' DAYS ARE OVER, DUDE."

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT?

AHH. AND THEN, WHEN HE KISSED THAT BEAUTIFUL LADY.

DUDE, DO YOU THINK I COULD GET A BEAUTIFUL LADY LIKE THAT TO BE MY LADY?

'CAUSE I'D LIKE IT.

EH, YOU WANT SOME ACTION?

YOU KNOW IT, DUDE!

THEN CRAM ALL THAT DUDE CRAP.

BUT, IT'S COOL, DUDE. SCHNOZZO SAYS IT ALL THE TIME.

I WANT SOME ACTION!

HELP ME GET SOME ACTION, ZORAK!

HA HA HA! YEAH, THAT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN.

YOU DON'T HAVE WHAT WOMEN WANT.

WHAT ARE YOU IMPLYING?

WOMEN DON'T WANT THAT... ♪ YU-DUH-DO-DUH-DO

"MY NAME IS BRAK" SLOP YOU'RE ALWAYS SERVING UP.

THEY DON'T?

NO! DON'T YOU REMEMBER THE BUS STOP THIS MORNING?

Narrator: BRAK REMEMBERED, ALL RIGHT. AND HERE'S WHAT HAPPENED.

♪ LUH-DUH-DO-DUH-DO HEE HEE. ISN'T THAT FUNNY?

HEY! DO YOU LIKE SUCKERS? 'CAUSE I DO.

♪ BLUH-DUH-DO-DUH-DO

YOU WANNA GO TO THE SUCKER STORE? IT'S OPEN TILL 9:00.

GET LOST.

HA HA!

OK, BYE-BYE. ♪ DO-DO-DUH-DO-DO-DO

AHH. YOU'RE RIGHT. I'M SUCH A LOSER.

WOMEN HATE THAT SCREWBALL B.S.

THEY WANT SOMETHING WITH A LITTLE HAIR ON IT.

A LITTLE OF THE ZAP! POW! BABY!

THEY DO?

YEAH, YOU KNOW, A LITTLE [IMITATES ENGINE REVING].

YEAH...

OH, YEAH...I... DON'T GET IT.

HA! YOU MEAN, YOUR OLD MAN

HASN'T GIVEN YOU THE TALK?

THE TALK? HEE HEE...

TALK...PUH... THE...NO. CAN YOU TELL ME ABOUT IT?

I'M NOT YOUR DADDY... OR MAYBE I AM.

BUT EITHER WAY, YOU NEED TO GO ASK THE MAN DOWNSTAIRS.

YOU MEAN THE DEVIL?

HA HA. YOU'RE STUPID.

AND BECAUSE OF THAT, I'M LEAVING.

[GLASS BREAKS]

Narrator: AND JUST LIKE THAT, ZORAK WAS GONE.

LEAVING BRAK ALONE WITH HIS LONELINESS.

[DISCO MUSIC PLAYS]

OOH, THAT'S A HOT BEAT! I FEEL A SONG COMIN' ON.

♪ BRAKIE WANNA GET HIMSELF A LADY ♪

♪ BRAKIE WANT A LADY NOW

♪ NEEDA WANNA GOTTA HAVE A LADY ♪

♪ SOMEONE GOTTA SHOW HIM HOW ♪

♪ GOT TO GET A LA-HEY-HEY-HEY-ADYYYY, YOW! ♪

Narrator: AND THAT'S WHEN BRAK DECIDED TO GO TALK TO HIS DAD.

[SPANISH ACCENT] "LUCKY PENNY PROVES UNLUCKY TO ELDERLY DAREDEVIL."

AH, IT'S GETTING SO I DON'T EVEN WANT TO STEAL THE NEIGHBOR'S PAPER ANYMORE.

IT'S ALL BAD NEWS.

WE NEED YOU TO BE BRAVE, DEAR.

WHEN DID THAT START?

GOOD MORNING, SNIGGLE-FRICKS!

HELLO, MOM. HEY, UM, DAD?

WHAT?

WHAT DO WOMEN WANT?

YOU'RE LOOKIN' AT IT, LITTLE MAN. NEXT QUESTION.

OK, HOW DO I GET A GIRL TO GO OUT WITH ME?

WELL, LET'S SEE, HMM...OH, UH, TRY THIS:

RENT A BABY. TAKE IT TO THE PARK.

AND WHEN A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN APPROACHES TO ADMIRE THE BABY,

TELL HER YOUR WIFE HAS JUST MELTED AND START CRYING.

YOU'LL BE MARRIED THAT AFTERNOON.

YOU MEAN THAT WASN'T YOUR BABY?

WHAT KIND OF MAN WOULD TAKE A BABY TO THE PARK AND TRY TO--

EXCUSE ME, DARLING.

BRAK, WHY ARE YOU SO INTERESTED IN WOMEN ALL OF A SUDDEN?

BECAUSE I'M FULL OF LOVE, DAD.

AND I WANT TO UNLEASH IT ON SOME UNSUSPECTING HONEY.

LIKE A PIANO FALLING ALL THE WAY FROM HEAVEN.

WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY, BRAK?

SOUNDS TO ME LIKE THE BOY'S READY

FOR A LITTLE YU-YU-YU-YU-YU-YUNGH.

SO!

NOW, MOTHER, WE BOTH KNEW THIS DAY WOULD COME.

I KNOW, I...JUST HOPED IT WOULDN'T COME SO SOON.

SHOULD I... GO GET IT?

AHH. YES, GO GET IT.

WHAT IS IT? WHAT'S MOM GOING TO GET?

IT IS A GIFT FROM YOUR KIND AND GENEROUS GRANDFATHER...POPPY.

Narrator: THAT'S WHEN BRAK FOUND OUT HE HAD A GRANDFATHER NAMED POPPY.

WOW! POPPY!

BUT, OF COURSE, HE'S DEAD.

Narrator: AND THAT'S WHEN BRAK FOUND OUT POPPY WAS DEAD.

OH, POPPY!

HE WAS SO FULL OF LIFE WHEN HE WAS ALIVE.

[SOBBING]

CALM DOWN. YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HIM.

HE DIED 40 YEARS BEFORE YOU WERE BORN.

WHAT'S IN THE BOX, MOM?

IT'S SOMETHING YOUR POPPY WANTED YOU TO HAVE, BRAK.

IT'S BEEN PASSED FROM HIS FACE TO THIS BOX

AND NOW ON TO YOU.

AAH!

GET IT AWAY FROM ME!

THAT'S SOMEBODY'S NOSE!

NOT JUST SOMEONE, BRAK. THIS IS POPPY'S NOSE.

HE WANTED YOU TO HAVE IT

SO YOU COULD SMELL THE WORLD THE WAY HE SMELLED IT.

ALSO SO YOU COULD ATTRACT THE LADIES THE WAY YOUR POPPY DID.

OH HO! THAT POPPY, HE COULD WORK THE LADIES LIKE SIEGFRIED AND ROY.

BUT ONLY WHEN HE HAD HIS FINEST NOSE ON.

YOU MEAN, HE HAD MORE THAN ONE?

OH, YES, THIS IS JUST HIS FORMAL NOSE.

HE ONLY WORE IT WHEN HE WAS COURTING.

BUT WHY DOES HE NEED FAKE NOSES?

DIDN'T HE HAVE HIS OWN NOSE?

WELL, NO, HONEY. POPPY WAS JUST LIKE YOU AND ME.

HE DIDN'T... HAVE A NOSE.

Narrator: IT WAS THEN BRAK REALIZED HE DIDN'T HAVE A NOSE!

AAH! NOSELESS! CAN'T BREATHE! NEED AIR!

WALLS CLOSING IN.

SWIM, BRAK. SWIM TOWARDS THE LIGHT.

OH, HELLO, MR. JELLYFISH.

OUCH! STINGING!

OW, BURNING!

OH, STILL NO AIR,

SUFFOCATING, OH--

BRAK!

YOU'RE NOT SUFFOCATING.

YOU HAVEN'T HAD A NOSE YOUR WHOLE LIFE, AND YOU'VE BEEN FINE.

THAT'S RIGHT, DAD. I HAVE BEEN FINE.

SUPER FINE, IN FACT.

SO WHY, ALL OF THE SUDDEN,

DO I NEED TO START WEARING A DEAD MAN'S NOSE?

BECAUSE, BRAK, FOR A MAN, THE NOSE IS LIKE

THE FLESHY HOOD ORNAMENT ON THE CAR THAT IS YOUR HEAD.

YOU DRIVE AROUND, YOU RUN A LIGHT,

MAYBE YOU HONK AT THE LADIES, AND THEY SAY,

[FALSETTO VOICE] "HEY, CHIEF,

WHERE'D YOU GET THE NEW RIDE, EH?"

AND YOU SAY,

[AS BRAK] "IT'S PACO'S, MAN,

"I'M JUST KEEPING IT FOR HIM WHILE HE'S IN THE JOINT.

SEE YOU LATER, MAN."

THEN YOU DRIVE AWAY,

SO PROUD TO BE A NOSE-POSSESSING MAN.

I'M SOLD, DUDE!

WHY DON'T YOU PUT YOUR NEW NOSE ON

AND TAKE IT FOR A SPIN?

HEY, STRAP THAT FAT HONKER ON

AND GO MAKE A RUN AT THE TALENT IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD, UH?

HOW'S IT LOOK, MOM?

DOES IT GO WITH MY HEAD?

OH, BRAK, YOU LOOK SO HANDSOME.

[SNIFF]

JUST LIKE POPPY.

ACTUALLY, YOU LOOK LIKE THE PRIVATE DICK ON THE TV.

WHAT'S HIS NAME?

YOU MEAN SCHNOZZO?

NO, NO. THE STRAIGHT ONE.

WHAT?

CAJUN DADDY RIBADEAUX?

THAT'S THE ONE.

I'M GONNA GO FIND ME SOME SUPER FOXY LADIES

TO CALL ME BIG PAPA.

'CAUSE I LOVE IT WHEN THEY CALL ME THAT.

OH, GO ON, BRAK. YOU GO GET YOU SOME!

I WILL, DUDE. CATCH YA ON THE FLIP SIDE.

Announcer: SO, BRAK WENT OUT INTO THE WORLD

WITH A FACE FULL OF NOSE AND A MOUTH FULL OF SONG.

♪ BRAKIE GONNA GET HIMSELF A LADY ♪

♪ 'CAUSE HE GOT A NOSE ON NOW ♪

OH, LOOK, THERE'S THE GIRL THAT TOLD ME TO GET LOST.

WELL, LET'S SEE HOW SHE LIKES ME NOW.

♪ LOOP-A-DOOP-DE-DO

HOW D'YA LIKE ME NOW, GIRLIE?

DROP DEAD, CREEPO.

Narrator: THAT'S WHEN I DECIDED TO STEP IN

AND GIVE BRAK A HELPING HAND.

BRAK, I'M HERE TO HELP YOU.

WH-WHO-DUH-DUH! WHO SAID THAT?

IT'S ME, SONNY. YOUR OWN PRECIOUS POPPY.

POPPY? I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD.

I AM DEAD... AS DEAD AS YOUR CHANCES OF SCORING SOME ACTION

UNLESS YOU DO WHAT POPPY TELLS YOU.

NOW, LET'S GET YOU A DATE.

YOU GOT ANY MONEY?

NO.

WELL, THAT'S GONNA MAKE IT TOUGHER.

OOH, LOOK. HERE COMES ANOTHER FINE FILLY NOW.

AWW, SHE DON'T LIKE ME.

SHE'S GONNA LIKE YOU, CHARLIE.

NOW, JUST DO AND SAY EVERYTHING POPPY TELLS YOU TO.

FIRST OFF, BID HER, "A PLEASANT GOOD DAY TO YOU, MY DEAR."

A PLEASANT GOOD DAY TO YOU, MY DEAR.

GO...AWAY.

EXCUSE ME A MINUTE.

DUDE, IT'S NOT WORKING.

SURE IT IS, YOU'RE DOING GREAT.

NOW ASK HER IF SHE'S WARM FOR YOUR FORM.

WHAT?

LISTEN, DO YA WANT THIS CHICKIE-BABY OR NOT?

WELL, YEAH, BUT I DON'T THINK

SAYIN' THAT'S GONNA WORK.

THEN SQUEEZE HER BUTT.

I CAN'T DO THAT.

WELL, SURE YOU CAN. REACH AROUND AND GIVE IT A SQUEEZE.

I WILL DO NO SUCH THING.

WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO?

OH, IT'S MY DEAD GRANDPA-- POPPY. HEH.

YEAH, HE WANTS ME TO SQUEEZE YOUR BUTT.

DON'T TELL HER THAT!

SHE'LL THINK YOU'RE CRAZY!

COME ON, CORKY. GIVE THAT SWEET SADDLE A RATTLE.

SQUEEZE HER BUTT!

I'M NOT SQUEEZING HER BUTT!

OUCH!

ARGH! NOSE OVERBOARD!

[BARK]

I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY.

YOU JUST WHACKED OFF MY GRANDPA'S NOSE.

COME ON, PICK IT UP, LITTLE STEVIE!

THAT'S VALUABLE PROPERTY.

YOU COME BACK HERE

WITH MY POPPY'S NOSE, DOGGIE!

[ANGRY BARKING]

WAS THAT HUCKLEBERRY HOUND?

THAT'S IT I'M OUTTA HERE.

NICE KNOWIN' YA, TONY.

[BARK]

AW, DUDE.

AND YOU'RE SURE IT WAS HUCKLEBERRY HOUND

WHO PICKED UP THE NOSE?

WELL, HE HAD ON HIS HAT AND BOW TIE.

WAS HE BLUE?

OF COURSE HE WAS BLUE.

IT WAS HUCKLEBERRY HOUND, MOTHER.

WHAT DID HE SAY TO YOU?

NOTHIN'.

HE JUST BARKED LIKE A DOG,

AND THEN HE SWALLOWED THE NOSE.

SO, YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT HUCKLEBERRY HOUND,

A DOG WHO HAS HELD SEVERAL JOBS

AND CAN TIE HIS OWN BOW TIE,

HAS NOW, FOR REASONS UNKNOWN,

REVERTED BACK TO PRIMAL, DOG-LIKE STATE.

YEP.

AND HE'S TAKEN TO EATING NOSES.

THAT'S HOW IT HAPPENED, DUDE.

SAY, DID YOU EVER GET A DATE, HON?

MOM, AT THIS POINT, DOES THAT REALLY MATTER!?

Schnozzo: NOT SO FAST, BABY, SCHNOZZO WANTS MORE.

GET IT ON.

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP

CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org--

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0