Original subtitles

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP

- WHAT ARE YOU DOING, DAD?

- I'M FLIPPING OYSTER BURGERS FOR THE KING OF SPAIN,

WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M DOING?

AH, NOW HERE IS SOMETHING OF INTEREST TO EVERYONE.

"SCIENTISTS REPORT THAT SCIENTISTS ARE TESTING MONKEYS

"TO SEE IF THE MONKEYS WOULD MAKE GOOD SCIENTISTS.

"THIS WOULD SAVE MONEY BECAUSE THE MONKEY SCIENTISTS

COULD PERFORM THE EXPERIMENTS ON THEMSELVES."

- WELL, IT'S ABOUT TIME.

- HOWEVER, IT'S NOT ALL GOOD NEWS.

SOME SCIENTISTS ARE GOING TO BE OUT OF A JOB.

UNLESS, OF COURSE, THEY HAPPEN TO BE MONKEYS.

- MONKEYS? AH HA HA HA! HA HA! AH HA! AH HA HA!

[THUD]

MONKEYS! HA HA!

OH, BOY, MONKEYS!

- BRAK, THERE'S NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT SAYING THE WORD "MONKEY."

- WELL, I GUESS YOU JUST HAD TO BE THERE.

- I SUPPOSE SO.

OH! OH HO HO!

- WHAT IS IT?

- ACCORDING TO MY SOURCES, WHICH I AM HOLDING IN MY HANDS,

THE LORDS OF THE STARE ARE IN TOWN

FOR THE "STARE-AWAY TO HEAVEN" TOURNAMENT.

- REALLY? MAYBE YOU SHOULD ENTER.

- NOW, MOTHER, YOU KNOW I'M RETIRED FROM COMPETITION.

- OH, YOUR FATHER WAS SOME KIND OF STARER WHEN HE WAS YOUNG.

- I DON'T LIKE TO BLOW MY OWN HORN,

BUT I WILL SAY I WAS THE BRAVEST AND MOST HANDSOME STARER EVER!

I HAD THE EYES OF A LION.

I ALSO HAD THE MANE OF A LION.

A BIG, BUSHY RING OF HAIR THAT CIRCLED MY HEAD

AND BROUGHT MY NON-LIONESQUE OPPONENTS TO THEIR KNEES,

BEGGING FOR MERCY!

- IT TOOK HIM HALF THE MORNING JUST TO COMB IT.

- AH, BUT IT WAS WORTH IT.

- DAD, CAN YOU TEACH ME HOW TO STARE?

MAYBE I HAVE THE GIFT!

- I DON'T KNOW, BRAK. IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME.

- COME ON, DAD!

LET'S HAVE A STARING MATCH!

- OH, GO ON. IT'LL BE FUN!

- MMM, HE'S AWFULLY YOUNG.

- I THINK HE'S READY, DEAR.

- I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT, MOTHER.

HE'S LIKE THE BABY DUCKLING WHO GROWS UP TO BE

A TALL, MAJESTIC TREE THAT FLIES AWAY WITH THE OTHER GEESE,

NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN.

- DAD, ARE WE GONNA GET IT ON OR SPEND THE DAY

TALKING ABOUT GETTING IT ON?

BECAUSE IT AIN'T ON RIGHT NOW, BABY!

AND THAT'S WHERE I WANT TO GET IT!

- ALL RIGHT, LET'S DO IT.

- I'LL GET YOUR BOOSTER SEAT.

- AY!

- THERE YOU GO, BIG FELLA.

- I....BEGIN!

NOW, IT'S CUSTOMARY, AS A COURTESY,

FOR THE OPPONENTS TO BLINK AT EACH OTHER

AT THE START OF A MATCH.

YOU GO FIRST.

- OH, OK.

- HA! LOSER!

TONIGHT, YOU SLEEP ON THE LAWN

WITH THE OTHER SINGLE-CELLED ORGANISMS.

- OH, MAN! THAT WASN'T FAIR!

- STARING ISN'T ABOUT FAIRNESS, BRAK.

IT'S ABOUT COURAGE, STRATEGY, AND MOISTURE.

YOU COULD BLOW A HAIRDRYER IN MY EYES FOR 10 DAYS

AND I WOULDN'T BLINK.

- I WAS THERE. HE DIDN'T. I HAD IT SET ON "HIGH," TOO.

- GIVE A GUY A BREAK, POPS!

I DEMAND A RE-MATCH!

- ALL RIGHT, FINE.

IF YOU THINK YOU'VE GOT THE MARBLES.

I...

BEGIN!

SO, HOW'S IT GOING, SON?

- JUST FINE, SIR.

- AND YOUR EYES? DO THEY FEEL DRY?

BECAUSE THEY LOOK VERY DRY.

DRY.

DRY.

DRY.

- ACTUALLY, MY EYES ARE QUITE DEWEY, THANK YOU.

- GOOD, GOOD, GOOD.

HEY, BRAK?

I WAS NOTICING THIS MORNING

YOU HAD SOMETHING WRITTEN ON YOUR EYELIDS.

- DO I, NOW?

- YES!

I THINK IT'S A MESSAGE FROM THAT PRETTY GIRL

YOU LOVE SO MUCH.

WHAT'S HER NAME? THOMAS? BUTTONS?

UH, COLTRAK!

- YOU MEAN--YOU MEAN MARLA?

- THAT'S RIGHT. MARLA.

SHE APPEARS TO HAVE WRITTEN HER PHONE NUMBER ON YOUR EYELIDS.

OH, IF ONLY I COULD READ THE NUMBER.

PERHAPS YOU COULD CALL HER AND ASK HER

TO GO TO THE WATER PARK WITH YOU?

- COMMANDER SQUIRTMAN'S SLIPPERY JAMBOREE?

- THAT'S THE ONE!

OH, THINK HOW REFRESHING IT WOULD BE

FOR YOUR POOR, DRY EYES

TO HAVE WATER SPLASHING INTO THEM

AS YOU AND MARLA FLOAT YOUR LOGS DOWN BEAVER STREAM.

- MAYBE AFTER THAT, WE COULD SPLIT

A QUARTER FLOUNDER AT LONGSAIL TILVER'S!

- YES, IF ONLY I COULD READ WHAT IS WRITTEN ON YOUR EYELIDS.

- WELL, WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR?

UNH! READ IT, DAD!

TELL ME WHAT IT SAYS!

- IT SAYS,

"DEAR BRAK,

YOU ARE A LOSER!"

HA! I AM THE CHAMPION, MY FRIEND,

AND I'LL GO ON FIGHTING UNTIL THE END!

- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, YOU OLD FOOL?

- WHA--WHO ARE YOU CALLING AN OLD FOOL?

- HIM.

- OK, THAT'S COOL, THAT'S COOL.

- BRAK AND HIS FATHER WERE JUST HAVING A FRIENDLY LITTLE STARING MATCH.

- HE KICKED MY CABOOSE EVERY WHICH WAY BUT LOOSE!

- PSSH! STARING'S FOR BABIES!

- SO ARE WHIPPED PRUNES, BUT I STILL RECOMMEND THEM!

- THEY'RE SIMPLY WONDERFUL.

- SHUT IT!

- OH, PRUNE HATER! GET OUT OF HERE!

YOU THINK YOUR EYEBALLS ARE SO TOUGH,

WHY DON'T YOU TAKE ON MY DAD?

- I GOT BETTER THINGS TO DO.

- LIKE WHAT?

- LIKE THIS.

- UNH!

[GRUNTING]

- ZORAK, IT'S ALL RIGHT IF YOU ARE AFRAID OF ME.

MOST SISSIES ARE.

HEY, WHY DON'T YOU RIDE YOUR GIRL BIKE HOME

AND PUT ON YOUR SUNDRESS?

YOU'LL BE SO PRETTY.

- ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE ON!

- I...BEGIN!

NOW, ZORAK, IT'S CUSTOMARY, AS A COURTESY,

FOR THE OPPONENTS TO BLINK AT EACH OTHER

AT THE START OF A MATCH.

YOU GO FIRST.

- HA! ONLY AN IDIOT WOULD FALL FOR THAT.

- AND SO HE DID.

[MUMBLING]

- I THINK I SAW IT OVER THERE BY THE BUSH.

[MUMBLING]

- YOU KNOW, ZORAK, I NEVER NOTICED HOW GROTESQUELY INFLATED

YOUR EYEBALLS ARE.

HA HA, YOU'RE UGLY!

- THANKS FOR THE COMPLIMENT, PEEWEE!

WHY DON'T YOU LEAN A LITTLE CLOSER?

- NOW, WHY WOULD I WANT TO DO THAT?

- SO I CAN STICK A STRAW IN YOUR EYE

AND SUCK YOUR HEAD DRY!

- NO, THAT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE SOMETHING

I WOULD LIKE TO DO.

- THEN CHECK THIS OUT.

[GIBBERISH]

- AH! WHAT HAVE WE HERE?

AH, JUST AS I THOUGHT.

THE TEXAS TWO-BALL SHUFFLE.

- HOW DO YOU LIKE IT?

- I LIKED IT THE FIRST 10 TIMES I LAUGHED AT ITS FUTILITY.

NOW, IT'S MY TURN.

ARE YOU FAMILIAR WITH THE BOSTON BOB?

AH? AHH.

OH! AHH.

HOW ABOUT THE MILWAUKEE SHIFT?

OH, AH. OH, AH!

HUT! HI!

OR THE CINCINNATI SUNRISE?

HI! HA!

HI! AHH.

OR HOW ABOUT THE FRESNO FLOATER?

[HUMMING]

YEAH! OH! AH HA HA!

- OH, DEAR. I THINK THERE'S A WASP IN THE HOUSE.

- OH, REALLY? THIS SHOULD BE INTERESTING.

- OW!

- OH! DID HE STING YOU?

THAT MUST BE VERY PAINFUL.

ANY MINUTE NOW, THAT'S GOING TO SWELL.

OH, THERE WE GO!

OH, LOOK! YOU'VE MADE ANOTHER FRIEND.

- OW!

DAH! WHY AREN'T THEY STINGING YOU? OW!

- ANYONE WHO'S FAMILIAR WITH WASPOLOGY KNOWS

THAT THE WASP IS IRRESISTIBLY DRAWN TO THE EYE JUICE OF THE MANTIS.

TO THEM, IT IS A DELICIOUS TREAT.

- YAH! OW!

- YOU KNOW, ZORAK, YOU COULD END THE PAIN WITH ONE SIMPLE BLINK.

- GET--OW! BENT! OW!

ZORAK...BLINK? YOW!

NEVER! DAH!

[MUMBLING]

- OH, HONEY, YOU FOUND YOUR JAW.

[MUMBLING]

- SURE, I'LL HELP YOU.

- OW!

[SQUEAKY VOICE] IS IT FIXED YET, MOM?

- I THINK IT NEEDS JUST A LITTLE--AY!

- AAH! HUM-NUM-NUM-NA!

TESTING, TESTING 1,2,3.

A-A-HEM.

♪ CARRY ME BACK

♪ TO OLD VIRGINNY

WELL, I THINK IT'S WORKING JUST--

HEY, WHAT HAPPENED TO ZORAK?

- HE'S BEING ATTACKED BY WASPS, DEAR.

I'M GOING TO CALL AN AMBULANCE.

HELLO, AMBULANCE? MOM HERE.

PLEASE COME TO OUR HOUSE RIGHT AWAY.

- WE'LL BE RIGHT OVER, LADY!

- THANK YOU!

[SIRENS]

- STAY AWAY!

GET YOUR FILTHY PROBES OFF OF ME!

- WHERE ARE YOU GOING, NANCY?

DON'T YOU WANT TO FINISH OUR LITTLE DANCE?

- I DIDN'T BLINK! I WAS WINNING!

I'LL BE BACK!

- AH HA HA! OH, SURE YOU WILL!

- WELL, DAD, YOU'RE STILL THE CHAMP!

IF ANYBODY COULD BEAT YOU, I'D LIKE TO SEE THEM.

[DOOR OPENS]

[BUZZING]

- OH, NO! NOT...

YOU!

THE EYE!

- LAST TIME, ON THE LAST EPISODE...

- OH, NO!

THE EYE!

- HEY, HEY, HEY!

I AM THE EYE!

OH, YEAH! THE EYE!

LORD OF THE STARE, HECK OF A GUY!

HO HO HO, AND-A MY, OH, MY!

DOES ANYBODY WANNA TRY TAKING ON THE EYE?

HEY, HEY, HEY, WHAT DO YOU SAY, LITTLE GUY?

I-I-I... GO TO HELL.

♪ MONKEY

♪ MONKEY

♪ M-M-M-MONKEY

♪ UM, MONKEY

♪ MONKEY

- ♪ MONKEY

- ♪ HA HA, MONKEYS

♪ MONKEYS, OH

♪ MONKEYS, MONKEYS, MONKEYS, MONKEYS ♪

♪ OH, YEAH

♪ MONKEYS, HA HA, MONKEYS ♪

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP

CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org--

- HEY, HEY, HEY!

I FLOAT LIKE A FLOATING EYE, STING LIKE A FLOATING EYE.

OH., YEAH!

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0