Original subtitles

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP

SAY, MOTHER, DO YOU FIND ME MORE ATTRACTIVE LIKE THIS...

OR LIKE THIS?

- CAN I SEE THEM AGAIN?

- OF COURSE.

WHAT? HUH!

HUH? AH!

- OH, IT'S SO DIFFICULT TO CHOOSE.

- THINK IT OVER, AND GET BACK TO ME. I'LL BE HERE ALL DAY.

- SAY HELLO TO BRAK, FULLY RESTED AND BARREL-CHESTED.

- BRAK, AM I MORE HANDSOME WITH ARMS FOLDED OR NOT FOLDED?

WHICH DO YOU PREFER?

- I LIKE THE UNFOLDED.

- WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE FOLDED?

- WELL, THERE'S NOTHING WRONG--

-LET THE BOY ANSWER. HE'S GOT EYES IN HIS HEAD.

MAKE THE CALL.

- I DON'T KNOW, DAD. I THINK I LIKE THE FOLDED.

- YOUR MOTHER DOESN'T LIKE THIS ONE.

SHE THINKS IT MAKES ME LOOK HIDEOUS AND UGLY.

- I NEVER SAID THAT.

-WHY YOU WANT TO KNOW, DAD?

- BECAUSE THERE COMES A TIME IN A MAN'S LIFE

WHEN HE NEEDS TO LOOK HIS VERY BEST.

WHEN THAT TIME COMES FOR ME, BRAK,

I DON'T WANT TO BE CAUGHT WITH MY PANTS DOWN,

I'LL TELL YOU THAT.

LET ME SHOW YOU WHAT THAT WOULD LOOK LIKE.

- SIT DOWN.

- I LOOK BETTER SITTING ANYWAY.

-WHATEVER YOU SAY, DEAR.

BRAK, I NEED YOU TO GO DOWN THE STREET

AND INVITE THUNDERCLEESE FOR DINNER.

IT'S HIS BIRTHDAY, YOU KNOW.

- I KNOW, MOM. THAT'S WHY I GOT HIM THESE.

YOU KNOW HOW MUCH HE LIKES JUGS.

- BRAK, I THINK WE NEED TO HAVE A LITTLE TALK.

- NO TIME FOR THAT, DAD.

I NEED TO GET THESE BABIES OVER TO THUNDERCLEESE.

HERE I GO!

[THUNDERCLEESE SINGING INDISTINCTLY]

HEY, MR. THUNDERCLEESE. WHAT'S THAT YOU WERE SINGING?

- IT IS THE ROBOTIC HYMN OF DOOM.

- WELL, I ALWAYS SAY

NOTHING LIVENS UP A ROBOTIC HYMN OF DOOM

BETTER THAN AN AMAZING PAIR OF JUGS.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JUNKY!

- THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL.

ON ANY OTHER DAY, I WOULD REVEL IN THEIR SPLENDOR

AND ADD THEM TO MY COLLECTION,

BUT TODAY IS MY DARKEST DAY.

- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY.

AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPY?

- NOT ON THIS BIRTHDAY.

AT DAWN THIS MORNING, MY WEAPONS SYSTEMS WERE DEACTIVATED.

- WHAT? HOW COME?

- I AM NOW CONSIDERED OLD AND OBSOLETE.

- WHO DID THIS TO YOU?

- MY CREATORS, MOROCCOBOTIX.

- LET ME AT 'EM! I'LL MURDERIZE THE JOINT.

- THE ONLY THING FOR ME NOW

IS TO RETIRE TO MY FORTRESS AND RUST.

- WELL, WHO'S GONNA TAKE CARE OF YOUR YARD?

IT'S NOT LOOKING SO GOOD.

- I'VE BEEN DREADING THIS DAY FOR WEEKS.

I WAS TOO DEPRESSED TO FERTILIZE.

- I'LL FERTILIZE IT FOR YOU. GAME ON, BABY!

[THUNDERCLEESE GROWLS]

YEAH, I'M TALKING TO YOU, FULL METAL JACKASS. HA HA HA!

- ZORAK, QUIT GIVING HIM THE BUSINESS.

THEY SHUT OFF HIS WEAPONS TODAY.

HE CAN'T FIGHT ANYMORE.

- REALLY? SO IF I WAS TO, SAY, THROW SOMETHING AT HIM...

- WELL, WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO--AAH!

OOH! THAT HURT!

- HA! I BRAKKED YOU. HOW DO YOU LIKE IT?

- I DON'T LIKE IT, BUT I WILL NOT RETALIATE.

I DON'T CARE ANYMORE.

- YEAH?

WELL, DO YOU CARE TO KISS THIS?

COME ON, KISS IT. KISS IT!

♪ NYAH NYAH NYAH-NYAH NYAH

FIRE IT UP, BUMHEAD. SEE WHAT YOU GOT LEFT.

[THUNDERCLEESE ROARING]

HA!

- ALAS, I AM HUMILIATED. I AM NO LONGER A WORTHY FOE.

CURSE YOU, MOROCCOBOTIX INCORPORATED!

- AW, COME ON, BIRTHDAY BOY. DON'T BE SO DOWN IN THE DUMPS.

LET'S GO DOWN TO GRAVY JONES' LOCKER

AND DROWN YOUR TROUBLES IN SWEET MEAT DRIPPINGS.

- I'M FINISHED WITH GRAVY.

I'M FINISHED WITH EVERYTHING.

- BUT--BUT--BUT--

- FAREWELL, BRAK.

- FAREWELL, MY STEEL MAGNOLIA.

♪ MY HERO, MY NEIGHBOR

♪ AT THE VERY LEAST, MY FRIEND ♪

♪ IF EVER I SHOULD SEE YOU AGAIN ♪

♪ I'D SAY

♪ HOW YOU DOING, PAL?

♪ FUNNY RUNNING INTO YOU LIKE THIS ♪

♪ HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN SHOPPING HERE? ♪

♪ DID YOU KNOW THAT THE GRAPES ARE ON SALE? ♪

♪ I'M A LITTLE LIGHT, COULD YOU SEND ME A 5? ♪

♪ BUT FOR NOW, I'LL JUST SAY

♪ GOOD-BYE

- LEFT SIDE? RIGHT SIDE?

BROWS UP? BROWS DOWN?

MUSTACHE? NO MUSTACHE?

- NOT NOW, HON. THE NEWS IS ON.

- YOUR LIVER MAY BE PLOTTING TO REPLACE YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.

DON'T MISS PART TWO OF OUR SPECIAL REPORT,

"YOUR LIVER: THE ENEMY WITHIN."

- OH, DEAR.

- DON'T BE FRIGHTENED, MOTHER.

THEY'RE JUST TRYING TO SCARE US TO DRUM UP RATINGS.

- YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING.

YOU'RE A FOOL.

ON A LIGHTER NOTE, YET ANOTHER GIANT ASTEROID

IS HEADED FOR A DOOMSDAY COLLISION WITH OUR PLANET,

BUT NOT TO WORRY.

THUNDERCLEESE WILL SAVE US LIKE HE ALWAYS DOES.

- NO, HE WON'T.

- OF COURSE HE WILL.

NOW, SHUT UP! AND GOOD NIGHT.

- THIS IS A CALAMITY, MATER AND PATER.

THAT ASTEROID'S GONNA SMASH US FLATTER

THAN SKINNY JACK, THE PAPER-THIN LUMBERJACK.

- BRAK, DON'T BE SUCH A DREADFUL ALARMIST.

YOU HEARD THE NEWS JOCKEY.

THUNDERCLEESE WILL USE HIS WEAPONS TO RESCUE US.

- SO YOU SEE, HONEY, YOU HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.

- YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, MOM.

THUNDERCLEESE'S WEAPONS DON'T WORK ANYMORE.

HE'S BEEN DEACTIVATED.

- NOW, WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THING TO A NICE MAN LIKE THUNDERCLEESE,

ESPECIALLY ON HIS BIRTHDAY?

- MOROCCOBOTIX INCORPORATED, THAT'S WHO.

THANK YOU FOR ASKING.

THEY SAID HE WAS TOO OLD.

- WELL, WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE.

THAT'S JUST GREAT.

- BUT I DON'T WANT TO DIE.

I'M ALMOST FINISHED WITH MY MACRAME.

- BRAK, STOP DRIVING YOUR LITTLE BABY CAR AROUND ST. BABYSBURG,

AND TAKE YOUR ASTEROID-SMASHING LIKE A MAN.

- WAIT A MINUTE, I'VE GOT AN IDEA.

WE NEED TO GO OVER TO MOROCCOBOTIX

AND GET THEM TO REARM THUNDERCLEESE

SO HE CAN SAVE US AND WE CAN LIVE.

HOORAY FOR BRAK AND HIS IDEA. HOORAY!

- UH, YOU GO AHEAD, BRAK.

YOUR MOTHER AND I ARE GOING TO STAY HERE

AND PLAY SNUGGLE BUNNIES.

HEY, SNUGGLE BUNNY?

[MAKING KISSING SOUNDS]

- YOU'RE GOING WITH HIM. - YES, MA'AM.

- BRAK, I CAN'T SEE. AM I ON THE ROAD?

- NOT REALLY.

GEE, WONDER HOW MY OLD PAL THUNDERCLEESE IS HOLDING UP.

- THIS LOOKS EXPENSIVE.

I'M GONNA BREAK IT.

- PLEASE DON'T.

I WAS AWARDED THAT JUG FOR THE BATTLE OF THE--

[CRASH]

- HA!

HEY, IS THIS A PICTURE OF YOUR MOM?

AW, SHE LOOKS A LITTLE DRY.

- PLEASE DON'T.

- HAVE A DRINK, MOM. [TOILET FLUSHING]

IT'S ON ME.

OH, YEAH, THAT'S THE STUFF. HA HA HA!

- SNAPPY MOROCCO AT YOUR SERVICE, GENTLEMEN.

HOW CAN I ASSIST YOU?

- WE ARE SOMEWHAT CONCERNED

ABOUT THIS LITTLE ASTEROID SITUATION.

- WHY'D YOU TURN OFF THUNDERCLEESE?

- AH, YES.

THE THUNDERCLEESE MODEL.

I DEVELOPED IT WHEN I WAS 14.

NOT BAD FOR A FIRST PROJECT,

BUT THAT UNIT WAS MUCH TOO DURABLE.

- WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?

OR HOW ABOUT, WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?

- I'M SAYING I NEED PRODUCTS THAT WILL MALFUNCTION

AND NEED TO BE REPLACED AT GREAT EXPENSE.

SO FEAST YOUR EYES ON THE FUTURE, GENTLEMEN.

I GIVE YOU...PALMCLEESE.

- OH, WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT?

IT'S LITTLE BABY THUNDERCLEESE.

IS HE POTTY TRAINED?

CAN HE GO BY HIMSELF?

- STAND DOWN, CREATURE, OR FEEL MY WRATH.

- I HAVE MINIATURIZED THE PALMCLEESE CIRCUITRY

WITHOUT COMPROMISING ITS DESTRUCTIVE POWER.

- I AM A SUPERIOR MODEL.

I WILL NOW DEMONSTRATE MY SUPERIORNESS.

AWAY!

- THE SITUATION WILL SOON BE UNDER CONTROL.

I'M A GENIUS.

WATCH THE SCREEN, MY FRIENDS.

- AAH! IT HURTS.

- OH, NO!

IT LOOKS LIKE PALMCLEESE HAS BEEN ASTEROID-SMACKED.

- YES, BUT FEAR NOT.

I HAVE AN EVEN SMALLER AND MORE EFFICIENT MODEL

THAT I'M BETA-TESTING.

POPPINS, SEND ME MICROCLEESE.

- WE CAN'T FIND HIM. WE MADE HIM TOO SMALL.

- YOU'RE FIRED, POPPINS. YOU'RE NOT A GENIUS.

WELL, I GUESS WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE.

- AY!

- NOT IF YOU REACTIVATE THUNDERCLEESE.

OPEN UP YOUR HEAD HOLES, SLAPPY, AND LISTEN WHILE I TESTIFY.

♪ THERE'S AN ASTEROID COMING IN THE DEAD OF THE NIGHT ♪

♪ IT'S GONNA SMASH US INTO BITS ♪

♪ WE NEED OUR TRUSTY THUNDERCLEESE ♪

♪ BEFORE THAT MOTHER HITS

♪ OH, WE BOTH KNOW WHAT MUST BE DONE ♪

♪ DO IT, SLAPPY, WHILE WE'RE YOUNG ♪

♪ TURN ON THUNDERCLEESE

♪ PLEASE

- YOUR SONG HAS DEEPLY MOVED ME,

ESPECIALLY THAT "SMASH TO BITS" PART.

POPPINS, REACTIVATE THUNDERCLEESE.

- UH, SIR, YOU LET POPPINS GO.

- DID I? OH, WELL.

COMPUTER, REACTIVATE THUNDERCLEESE.

- HOW COULD YOU FIRE YOUR OWN FATHER,

YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD.

- FINE. I'LL DO IT MYSELF.

- THANKS, SLAPPY.

I'M GONNA GO TELL THUNDERCLEESE THE GOOD NEWS.

- COME ON, WHERE'S THE REST OF YOUR STUFF?

I WANT TO BUST IT UP.

- YOU HAVE DESTROYED EVERYTHING I OWN EXCEPT FOR MY--

[CRASH]

- HA HA HA!

- THAT'S ALL OF IT.

- THUNDERCLEESE, GOOD NEWS. YOU GOT YOUR POWERS BACK.

YOU'RE UP AND RUNNING, BUDDY.

- CAN THIS BE TRUE?

- AND HOW.

WHY DON'T YOU BOOT UP AND GIVE IT A TRY?

- AW, NOW DON'T BE THAT WAY, MATE.

I WAS JUST 'AVIN' A SPOT OF FUN.

BLIMEY! AAH!

- ALL SYSTEMS GO.

I'M BACK.

- YOU GO GET YOU SOME, BUDDY.

GET UP THERE AND KICK SOME ASTEROID.

- AND THAT WAS THE SCENE THIS MORNING

AS THUNDERCLEESE DESTROYED THE ASTEROID AND SAVED US ALL.

LOCALLY, SHERIFF JULIUS ORANGE

DECLARED THE LIVER REPLICATION EPIDEMIC

COMPLETELY UNDER CONTROL.

- OH, IS IT, NOW?

[ALL LAUGHING]

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP

CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE

--www.ncicap.org--

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