Original subtitles

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP

- OH, BOY. IT SAYS HERE THAT

GIGANTICON HAS DESTROYED THE CITY AGAIN.

- WELL, I SUPPOSE THEY'LL JUST REBUILD IT LIKE THEY ALWAYS DO.

- NOT WITH MY TAX DOLLARS, I TELL YOU.

GIGANTICON IS A JERK.

- IT MUST BE HARD BEING AN 80-FOOT-TALL LIZARD CREATURE.

- YOU KNOW WHAT? FOR A TOP HAT AND SPANGLED BRIEFS,

I WOULD KICK THAT BIG, GREEN PEPPERONI RIGHT IN THE -- - HEY...EVERYBODY!

- [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

- GOOD MORNING, PUMPKINHEAD. DID YOU SLEEP ALL RIGHT?

- ACTUALLY, MOM, I HAD THE MOST AMAZING DREAM.

I WAS RIDING ON AN ICE CREAM DONKEY

WITH NONE OTHER THAN MR. DEAN MARTIN.

- WOW. - AND EVEN THOUGH THE DONKEY MELTED

JUST OUTSIDE OF WALNUT CITY, DEAN DIDN'T CARE,

'CAUSE THAT'S JUST THE KIND OF MAN HE WAS.

- AH, HE WAS THE DEAN OF MARTINS.

- AMEN. - AH, HERE IS MY OTHER SON. GOOD MORNING, SISTO.

- [PASSES GAS] - EH, RIGHT BACK AT YOU.

- BRAK, THE BIG GAME WITH JERKWATER HIGH IS TONIGHT.

OH, YOU MUST BE ALL EXCITED.

- I SURE AM, MOM. I REALLY THINK THIS IS LEARNMORE HIGH'S YEAR.

- AH, THE YEAR OF THE LOWLY WORM, HUH, SON?

- YOU SAID IT. - YES, I DID.

- I HEARD HIM. - SO DID I.

- OOH, HOW DOES THAT FIGHT SONG GO AGAIN?

- ♪ WE DIG IN DIRT AND HIDE FROM BIRDS ♪

♪ THAT'S A LIFE OF A LOWLY WORM ♪

- ♪ WE ONLY COME OUT LATE AT NIGHT ♪

♪ THAT'S OUR TIME TO SQUIRM ♪

- ♪ RUN AND HIDE, YOU CRIMSON WORM ♪

- ♪ WE'RE THE LEARNMORE LOWLY WORMS ♪

- OH! - OH, BUT THAT WAS FUN.

- HUH, WHAT COULD POSSIBLY RUIN A DAY SUCH AS THIS?

- HUBBA-DUBBA-DOH! - [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

- OH, HELLO, ARTHUR. - HIS NAME'S NOT ARTHUR, MOM. - HE'S ZORAK.

- NOW WE ALL KNOW EACH OTHER. LET'S GO.

- WHERE ARE YOU TAKING ME? - I THINK HE MEANS BRAK.

- I KNOW THAT. YOU THINK I'M STUPID OR SOMETHING?

- SO WHAT DO YOU BOYS PLAN TO DO WITH YOUR SATURDAY?

- WE'RE GOING TO GO MAKE PAPIER MACHE GORILLAS, RIGHT, ZORAK?

- UH, YEAH. WE'RE NOT DOING THAT.

- WHY NOT? - BECAUSE IT'S STUPID.

- I THOUGHT THAT WAS FUN. - LET'S GO!

- [SIGH] OK.

- BYE, MOM. BYE, DAD. BYE, MOM AND DAD.

- GOOD-BYE, MY SON. [DOOR CLOSES]

- IT'S NICE THAT BRAK HAS SUCH A GOOD FRIEND.

- LET'S GO GET SOME BEER. - I DON'T KNOW, ZORAK.

I DON'T THINK MY FOLKS WANT ME DRINKING BEER.

- THAT'S WHY WE'RE DOING IT. - OH, ALL RIGHT.

OH, LOOK. THERE'S MY NEIGHBOR, MR. THUNDERCLEESE.

- HE'S WON PRIZES FOR HIS LANDSCAPING.

HELLO, MR. THUNDERCLEESE.

- ARE YOU HERE TO DESTROY MY LAWN?

- I BEG YOUR PARDON? WE WOULD NEVER DO THAT. WOULD WE, ZORAK?

- WHAT'S THAT? CAN'T HEAR YOU.

- [SIGH] YOU'RE GOING TO BLOW HIM UP, AREN'T YOU?

- AFFIRMATIVE.

- WA-HOO!

- HEE HEE HEE. TARGET SIGHTED. COMMENCING ATTACK.

- UHH. THAT ALL YOU GOT? [COUGH]

- ACTUALLY, NO.

- [SNIFF SNIFF] DARLING, ARE YOU COOKING DIAPERS?

- AY! OH! [BOOM]

- MAN, I DON'T THINK MR. THUNDERCLEESE LIKES YOU.

- NOBODY DOES. THAT'S THE WAY I LIKE IT.

- I LIKE YOU. - WELL, QUIT IT.

- I CAN'T, ZORAK, AND I'LL TELL YOU WHY.

♪ FRIENDSHIP IS LIKE AN OINTMENT ♪

♪ WHEN YOU'VE BEEN STUNG BY 50 BEES ♪

♪ WHEREVER YOU RUB IT, YOU KNOW IT FEELS BETTER ♪

♪ BECAUSE IT'S A TOPICAL ANALGESIC ♪

♪ I'M SINGING FRI-- ♪ - SHUT UP.

- WHY? - WE'RE HERE.

- HEY, WHAT ARE WE DOING AT THE RIVAL HIGH SCHOOL?

ARE WE GOING TO PUT PEANUT BUTTER IN THEIR JOCKSTRAPS?

'CAUSE IT'D BE FUNNY. [LAUGHS]

- THAT'S NOT BAD. - OH, WELL, YOU KNOW.

- BUT I HAVE A BETTER PLAN.

WE'RE GOING TO KIDNAP THE JERKWATER HIGH FIGHTING CHICKEN.

[LAUGHS]

- YOU MEAN MR. BAWKBAGAWK?

- YES. [LAUGHS]

- PRETTY GOOD PLAN, HUH? - I DON'T KNOW.

- YOU WANT TO BE POPULAR? - WELL, YEAH. WAIT, I'M NOT?

- HEH HEH. NOT AT ALL.

- WELL, OK, THEN. [SIGH]

IF IT'LL MAKE ME POPULAR, AND MAKE PEOPLE SAY MY NAME AT PARTIES,

THEN POINT ME IN THE DIRECTION OF THAT CHICKEN

AND I'LL STEAL IT,

OR MY NAME ISN'T GIL SCHWARTZMAN,

WHICH IS NOW MY NEW POPULAR NAME.

- GO GET HIM, BRAK.

- YOU REALLY NEED TO BE CALLING ME GIL.

THE SOONER YOU GET USED TO THAT, THE BETTER.

- BEAT IT! - GERONIMO!

- OK, I STOLE THE CHICKEN. NOW WHAT?

- NOW YOU'RE IN BIG TROUBLE.

- AW, MAN. WE NEED TO HIDE HIM.

- YOU NEED TO HIDE HIM. YOU DID IT.

- AWW!

[DOOR CLOSES] - DAD, I'M HOME.

- BRAK, I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE HOME SAFE.

THERE IS A BAND OF CHICKEN NABBERS ON THE LOOSE.

- HEY, OLD MAN. - HEY, YOURSELF, YOU GREEN DEVIL.

- THIS IS GOING TO BE YOUR HIDEOUT, MR. BAWKBAGAWK.

LET ME SHOW YOU AROUND.

♪ THIS IS MY BED, THIS IS MY CLOCK ♪

♪ THIS IS MY UNDERWEAR COLLECTION ♪

♪ HERE'S A LETTER FROM A FAN ♪

♪ AND OVER THERE'S MY BOGEYMAN ♪

- SAME TIME TONIGHT, BRAK?

- IT'S A DATE, PHIL.

♪ WELCOME TO MY ROOM ♪

- ALL RIGHT, LET'S EAT HIM.

- WE CAN'T DO THAT.

- SURE WE CAN. GET A HATCHET.

- YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, ZORAK.

THIS CHICKEN IS NOT JUST A HOSTAGE ANYMORE.

HE IS NOW OFFICIALLY MY NEW BEST FRIEND.

- YEAH? WELL, YOUR BEST FRIEND JUST CRAPPED ON YOUR BED.

- AW, MAN. - BRAK, IS ARTHUR STAYING FOR DINNER?

- WHAT ARE YOU HAVING? - WELL, I THOUGHT I'D WHIP UP A VEGETAR--

- MAKE ME A BOWL OF FRIED CHICKEN.

- OH, OK. - I NEED MEAT.

- OH, I'LL GIVE YOU MEAT, ARTHUR.

- WE'RE GOING TO GO EAT DINNER NOW, MR. BAWKBAGAWK.

WILL YOU BE ALL RIGHT UP HERE BY YOURSELF, BUDDY?

- NICE.

- WE BETTER GO WASH OUR HANDS.

- YEAH ,YOU DO THAT. [GLASS BREAKS AND CHICKEN CLUCKS]

- MAN, THAT'S ONE PISSED-OFF CHICKEN.

- I KNEW I COULDN'T LEAVE HIM ALONE.

HE MISSES ME ALREADY.

- WELL, HOW ABOUT THIS? WE EAT HIM.

- WAIT A MINUTE. I GOT AN IDEA. [CHICKEN CLUCKS]

- ARE YOU SURE YOU WON'T HAVE SOME CHICKEN? HMM?

- HE'LL JUST HAVE A SALAD, MOM.

- EXCUSE ME. I DON'T THINK WE'VE BEEN PROPERLY INTRODUCED.

- MOM, DAD, THIS IS, OF COURSE, YOUR, UH, YOUR COUSIN--

- UNCLE. - COUSIN.

YOUR LONG-LOST COUSIN--

- EARL. - TOADMAN. - RIGHT.

- A LONG-LOST COUSIN? - EARL. - TOADMAN.

[RROWR]

- OF COURSE. DEAR OLD COUSIN EARL TOADMAN.

HE BURNED DOWN A SHOE STORE, YOU KNOW.

- NO, DAD, THAT WAS MERLE TOADMAN.

- OH, YES, OF COURSE.

AHEM. EARL, I SEE THAT YOU HAVEN'T MARRIED.

OR PERHAPS YOU'RE RECENTLY MARRIED?

AND HOW ARE THE CHILDREN?

IF THERE ARE ANY.

DON'T DO THAT! MOTHER, HE'S PECKING AT MY DINNER.

- HE'S A GUEST, DEAR.

- BUT HE HAS HIS OWN PLATE OF FOOD.

UNBELIEVABLE.

- [GOBBLING]

- UM, SAY, EARL, DO YOU REMEMBER THOSE SUMMERS AT THE LAKE?

WE USED TO TAKE OFF OUR PANTS

AND RUN ALL AROUND-- - [BURPS]

- [GASPS]

- WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?

- UH, I HAVE NO KNOWLEDGE OF THIS INCIDENT.

UH, HUBBA-DUBBA-DOH! [DOOR CLOSES]

- BRAK, DO YOU HAVE SOMETHING YOU WOULD LIKE TO TELL ME?

- DO YOU WANT THE TRUTH OR MY SIDE OF THE STORY?

- I WOULD LIKE THE TRUTH, PLEASE, SON.

- ALL RIGHT. THE TRUTH IS, WE STOLE MR. BAWKBAGAWK

BECAUSE WE THOUGHT IT WOULD HELP THE TEAM

AND MAKE US POPULAR AT SCHOOL.

BUT INSTEAD, I SIT HERE IN MY OWN SHAME,

HOPING AGAINST HOPE THAT THE STENCH OF GUILT

WILL SOON FADE LIKE HEAT FROM A DELICIOUS WAFFLE.

[SOBBING] - SO WHAT YOU'RE TELLING ME IS,

THIS IS NOT MY COUSIN EARL.

- DON'T WEAR YOUR HAT AT THE TABLE, DEAR.

- I'LL DO WHAT I DAMN WELL PLEASE.

BRAK, THERE IS A LESSON TO BE LEARNED HERE.

YOU CAN'T GO AROUND STEALING MASCOTS,

OR THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW, WE'LL HAVE SO MANY MASCOTS AT THE DINNER TABLE

PASSING THEMSELVES OFF AS RELATIVES AND FAMILY MEMBERS

THAT THERE WON'T BE ROOM FOR THE REAL FAMILY MEMBERS TO SIT,

SHOULD THEY STOP BY FOR A VISIT.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND, SON?

- WELL, DAD, I-- - GOOD.

NOW, FOR YOUR SENTENCE, YOU WILL NO LONGER BE

ALLOWED TO RIDE INSIDE THE CAR.

- YOU MEAN I HAVE TO RIDE ON THE HOOD?

- OH, BUT DEAR, ISN'T THAT A LITTLE HARSH? I MEAN--

NOW, MOTHER, THE BOY HAS TO LEARN TO TAKE HIS PUNISHMENT.

MAYBE THE FRESH AIR WILL CLEAN OUT HIS HEAD.

- I'M GOING TO GET BUGS IN MY TEETH. THEN I'LL BE SORRY.

- THAT'S THE PRICE YOU PAY, SON.

NOW, I WANT YOU TO TAKE THE CHICKEN BACK

TO HIS RIGHTFUL HOME AT THE JERKINGWATER HIGH SCHOOL.

- OK, DAD. LET'S GO, MR. BAWKBAGAWK.

- GOOD-BYE, COUSIN EARL.

[DOOR CLOSES] - AH, MOTHER.

IT'S SO NICE HAVING FAMILY AROUND.

- WELL, HERE WE ARE, BACK AT YOUR LITTLE CAGE.

NOW YOU'LL BE AT THE BIG GAME LIKE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE,

AND EVERYTHING WILL BE BACK TO NORMAL.

SO GO ON. GO ON IN THERE.

GO ON, NOW.

I TOLD MYSELF I'M NOT GOING TO CRY.

GO ON IN THERE.

GOOD-BYE. GOOD-BYE.

♪ I WISH I HAD MY FRIENDSHIP OINTMENT ♪

♪ I FEEL LIKE I'VE BEEN STUNG BY 50 BEES ♪

♪ BUT IF I HAD MY OINTMENT ♪

♪ I WOULDN'T KNOW WHERE TO RUB IT ♪

♪ 'CAUSE I GOT A HOLE IN MY HEART ♪

♪ IN THE SHAPE OF MR. BAWKBAGAWK ♪

[SOBBING]

- WELL, I SEE HERE THAT THE JERKINGWATER HIGH SCHOOLERS

ARE LOSING THE BIG GAME LAST NIGHT.

- [CLUCK, CLUCK] - HEY, BRAK,

I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO RETURN THE CHICKEN.

- BUT I DID. THIS IS A DIFFERENT CHICKEN.

INTRODUCING MISS SADIE McCLUCKING.

- WELCOME, MISS McCLUCKING. WILL YOU JOIN US FOR BREAKFAST?

- FRESH EGGS ALL RIGHT FOR EVERYONE?

- MOTHER, WHEREVER DID YOU GET FRESH EGGS?

- [CLUCK] - [ALL LAUGH]

- OH, BOY. - [ALL LAUGH]

- [LAUGHS]

[CRUNCH] AAH!

- GIGANTICON! - [ROAR]

- OH, WELL. TIME FOR A SONG.

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP

CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org--

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