Original subtitles

broadcasting from the heart of the team

this is Radiolife ninety four point one nine five line

two Philippine Campbell was she story

Philip it's my girlfriend Jenny

just recently

i started to feel like she's not as committed as i am

have you spoken to about this yeah

i did mention last night

and i took the plunge you know down on one knee and all that

and what was her response

she Freak mitch

and i'm pleading with her telling her how much i love her

but she wouldn't stop screaming

and then my parents came bursting in and a

they sent her straight home Phillip how old are you 15

well

16

next month okay Phil listen to me this is very important

i want you to ring this

Jenny and i want you to say these exact words

i want you to say Jenny i've made a mistake a big big mistake

i don't want to marry you because

i'm a man

and as such i intend to spend the next 20 years in my life

screwing around

never really been able to commit

always on the lookout for something hot or something dirtier

sexier prettier

until finally

when i reach my 30s and i'm bored of the chase

i'll settle down for whichever one

i happen to be with at the time

we'll get married off kids and live happily ever after

as long as they swim in the catchment area

of a decent primary school

do it Philip do it now it's your destiny because you're a man

i'm still the best man right

your turn

hello

more residents

fine is missler

i'm afraid

mr Morris incapacitated at the moment due to just receiving the

best orgasm up his life

just prior to your telephonic communication

so i can't say woody

all right

have you forgot yeah

i'm awake

this is what eight clock in the morning

feels like you can shove it yeah

and you can discuss that with a new station controller

what's the latest i can be there

nine no no no no no five two five two

intelligent talented astutes is the opposite of

everything you find attractive

well

i actually love powerful women

is that air of unattainability hey

mine

tally sounds happy i take it you haven't told her yet

it's all all about timing

you're a bastard you know that

ah

gotta go pal

see it's hand

wake

i can't be late in my first day back

it's okay pumpkin i miss you

they're all like this at first big fast lots of noise

why don't i bring you in an hour

that way mommy can get back to work

and we

can get to know

each other honey

be alright

other kids around him all day you'll love it

try not to think about it

哈哈哈哈哈哈哈

哈

hello

declare banks in human resources

oh yes

you are a sight for sore eyes come here give me a hug

good to have you back Claire Mona tries her best

but with all due respect she's got that name for a reason

so

how's motherhood treating me

great terrifying

but amazing you must know

sleepless nights no sex in the house looking like Dresden yeah

it's an amazing experience

uh human resources Claire bellington Claire

the twisting bastards dumped me

i only just finished sucking this dick

i mean one sort of a lowlife ditches you

and you just bloody gone down on him

i'm afraid i'm a little busy right now karakoy bettlee sir

i

personal calls already

i can see i'm gonna have to whip you back into shape clap

these have just arrived

thanks

Steve Spaniga Interfere yeah

well welcome to the real world

it's a real world where it arms miserable yeah

just keep your mouth

shut listen to what

she's got to say you can be back in bed by 11

might take a women

well Alley

mystery

ah

all right Babe

among me doubts about here i think she's a capit monster

claire's gonna kill you

Joey seems a smidge strange to receive applause before

you've actually done anything

today sees the launch of a city wide Billboard campaign

to promote a wider

awareness of Archie shows

senior says i can never

you're on let's take a look at them

don't say i told you so

say anything you want

but just not i told you so because

yes i knew what it was like yes i

knew it probably would go wrong

but i still feel like shiti feel

used you know he he he reels you in

makes you feel special and then once you adore him

he just tosses you aside like a

yeah

i could have at least waited till

after your wedding because i hate being single at weddings

people just pity you

he's such a bastard not with

more than a bastard he said a wanker hmm yes

no

worse than a wanker

god don't say this fine

but that's what he is he's done this to every woman

he's ever been with

and you always said you wouldn't fall for it so

congratulations you're officially

a member of the much more broken hearts club

and by the way i told you so

so are we eating or not mm hmm i've got no appetite

without a check you fence in corn beef i think i might

because i'm do on

so i was your first day back at work Claire good

thanks

but weird being back in the subtle but i'm sure okay easier

i was leaving Jack with a child minder like ranching an arm off

thanks for asking though

i'm sorry

i'm being hopeless it's all i can think about

just indulge me till the food comes

and then we'll talk exclusively about you okay

oh why does

everything go wrong for me

Claire do you think i've got some sort of occurs

no

don't start all that again remember

what happened after Ian

lay off the booth and don't make any late night suitcase

i know i know depositive you never know

what's around the coroner yeah

that's not funny oh no

she can rattle on about demographics all she likes but

we'll do it the way we've always done it

oh wait

doing right

cheers

merlow how's he been

he's fine don't think he missed us

okay before you start she was a shit shag chat alatosis

and she talked about babies on every date

why even started why give her hope

she had a good time

that's all in my house

so what's new one called

well just fancy being on my own for a bit actually you know

getting in such with me and herself

we're keeping out a bit

alright

let's get you on the stairs get you ready for Benny

how was your first day back

fine

did you get me flowers

thank you

i'm sorry about the alley stuff you know what i'm like

selfish fickle

actually self absorbed

do you forgive me

oh

they much more smile the one that gets them everything he wants

thank you Bruce lars

what do you have

you changed Jack

i got his ball down here coming up

email from Claire she wants you to chase

Kelly some of the wedding dresses need alterations asek whoa

whoa i'm best money

but since when did that involve sort on that wedding dresses

she's your sister

exam conditions

hi there

hi there

hey

what do you think

stock squirrel dot com

i don't get it

it squirrels stuck in amusing places around the world

and

it's funny

how long you spent on that

a few days

this could be massive

it's hardly ben's reunited

what about

weirdwillies com

people post photos and as a vote on the weirdos

broadcasting from the heart of the city

this is radio live night

hi i'm here to see mitch mom

is he expecting you no it's a surprise visit have you got a pen

if you haven't got a scheduled meeting and i'm afraid

it's not difficult i'm here's the girlfriend

right

hello

girlfriend

Ali Jones oh Jesus i thought i'd seen the end of this

she's a fantasy's

bird line stalker completely obsessed with me

did you call security Kate

thanks

you're a mitch glovey conference

mitch mitch album i'm so cheap cock

just yesterday

another mitch casualty where's best friend

what are they seeing in

no it's all right i can manage

i'm starving so think she'll make me a sandwich

typical mitch

two weeks before you wedding men

that's the last thing you need isn't it

the best man the chief brides me not talking to each other

should you change your city arrangement

you want to get them as far away from each other as possible

you know what ali's like

with a drink inside Claire

you're gonna be true

and

try the bottom cupboard there's all kinds of stuff in there god

i wish i'd lost more weight

i'm gonna be waddling down the aisle

like an elephant Kevin look

great

i've been able to shift the extract on with Jack

when the stupid idiot proposed five years ago

sure

i don't figure out yours proper tits proper arts

kids at school's not calling me sir

you definitely got some Claire

usually you can find which one of a conversation here

there is pickle on the fridge grants then

why don't you eat at work

surfer went down again

for someone who go down on me that often

Christ knows why you get married you and woody are perfect

i want attention these days after dress up as a laptop

what it is pick a Lily scotch

i pick a Lily

i mean she's amazing

she's the reason i get up in the morning

so i i couldn't survive without her

and that's what love is it's about

saying you're the one for me no matter what

thanks Paul great to heaven

marries us working for a change Aaron in two

in Europe what's happening Aaron it wasn't love at first swag

it was last she's a teacher and a sculpt a secondary sculpt

she's taken over my life

because

it says

connection between us

it's like this pressure that's building and building

i'm ready to burst hmm

so what seems to be the problem

she's married me

just check the pussy scars

it's only a brother

and you show the attractions mutual

a hundred percent

okay but she's too afraid to act on it right

more reluctant

what do you think i should do that bitch

well

like i say a hundred times a night life is too short for misery

if performance

she's not happy with who

she's with them maybe you're the man that make her up Yaren

the only problem is mitch

when i said she was a teacher

why i didn't tell you was she's my teacher

it was just getting good

so you're one of their peoples

that's right teach us pet

well

my advice would be the same

golfer it may golfer it

i owes you to say sex education should have a practical

alamon William birmings are you wrong

i've got this water on my knot bitch

let me off

stop can you stop the bus i need to get off

please

you don't look at me like used

sometimes you don't seem into it

where's all this come from

you can't keep your hands off me before we had Jack

you're gorgeous

is that like cute

i used to be sexy

i'm still sexy

would i be marrying a woman that wasn't sexy hmm

yeah

do you ever wish it was just me and you again

well without that little shit every single morning Iris

i don't know

yeah

yeah

sometimes have you ever done anything about it

well

no

have you no

but occasion that i see you looking

and shops and pops

i and people have always the same type young dark haired skinny

it's like you want what i used to be

i'm going to check on it's right walk away

ahead and stand woody's answered everything

you've been ridiculous am i

yes

i love you

we're getting married what would you need to know

the human resources Claire Billington

i got arrested last

night i've been charged with criminal done what were you doing

to face you on

those stupid posters that caught me helping through the words

shitheads it doesn't mean you look good

although i do mention this Burnham a Starch

which you'll hate the vein of the prick

yes

uh madame to swords

do you know if they do an oap concession

oh sorry sorry

daisy twice so not only am i lonely else

finster with no hope of ever finding love i'm also no criminal

don't remember

just got chuck myself to pretend right now the supplenary

started ten minutes

ago

i picked it up again

ms pullman

haha

what are you doing here

i need to speak to you what about

why

i'll come outside okay

right in the best man's speech

i just need a few foolish stuff about what i was gonna

tell you how to lunch i can't wait

all threatening the pop

your boss

long story well short story i forgotten her to do my job

whatever happened to the old me hey

she's still there

come here

let break go

aram wasterminate please

see your next legs

this has to stop what does

you know what

the looks the comments

the little gestures

and that stunt you pulled on the radio was not appreciated

you heard it

yeah he's my brother

i know but i didn't think you always listened

i don't know was this and i just happened to listen

and i kind of hope no one else from the school dig

because you weren't exactly subtle

what i said though it's true

i think about you at home in bed

please don't talk like that it's ridiculous

i'm literally old enough to be your mother

so

so i'm not having this conversation

just please stop this nonsense

otherwise i'll have to go to the head

okay

producer baby yeah

you stop looking at me and all

i've seen you

during class

and what you think you miss

because

whatever is thinking the same

serial offender last night show included

45 derogatory religious references

define derogatory Jesus Christ

what's the guy's name Christ almighty Christ on a bike

shitting Christ and my personal favorite Jesus mother of Shite

it can't go on

we just can't tolerate this on such a regular basis

right so if i want to use derogative religious references

i can do but only on special occasions

like Easter pope's birthday Christmas time

or should i apply him right in before

and then you can sanction a few phrases i'll just

sprinkle throughout the year

they said i'd have trouble with you

but i told them not to worry

i've handled much bigger fish in my time

and i tend to come out on top Jesus Christ

are you

you're late leaving

thank you so kept me in attention

ginger i'd do that not four

cool image in the right deal though

okay and i'll give you a lift

sometimes the signals get confused or

testosterone focusing around such a plastrophobic environment

things are bound to develop it's not a crash

miss

please don't call me miss

i'll see alternative

my name

we're not in class

i've ever seen class it's missing to go back abuse and signals

same phone is mined up

hmm

let me touch you

this

can't happen

why no

you know why i really don't know

i'm married

but not happily

i wanna go this far

thanks for live Kelly

you entered work onto the influence of alcohol

and behaved in a violent

and inappropriate manner towards a female employee therefore

we have no option

but to terminate your contract with this is my life effect

you have the right to an appeal stuff your appeal Dwayne

i went my balls off of this company you believe

that bitch over me

screw you

i'll tell you why

because she's a woman

you haven't even been here

you come back and ruin my life

well i'll find you

为我一杯

crouch hand quick stand

啊

啊

if that had happened two years ago i would have

given as good as i go but

today it just

scared me

it's like

i don't know something's changed i look all the things

i've got to deal with them there

and i just think

who cares

i just want to be a home Jack

all right it's bound to be hard first week back isn't it

maybe it's all too much work Jack the wedding

maybe we should have wait after all

Scott

i'm having daddy time

when was this all right

i've been invited to New York all expenses paid

condition being on there by breakfast

it's been nice i've been a rich boyfriend

clothes toys etc

i'm told the school you'll be bringing her

any problems ring in my mobile in America

you think i made a money

great hey fantastic

what have a nice time will we

bye bye darling

i'll ring you from the states

have a nice trip

finishing later starting early

i need to finish the internals

which gave me a ride on Betty dude

mike's out ten man um

mill

based on fact that she slept with a wanker like you

ooh

londozzy long legs are we a tiny bit jealous

make sure we're on air in 10 seconds

what do you think

let's boss you eat chips out the nickers want you miss focus

five seconds

it's ten o'clock

94 point one minute i mitch morn you're listening to after that

anything goes well let's keep things nice and funky

hmm hello hmm

how much do i hear

you seventh day

okay

i have to see where i can find

coming to my boo tour

don't worry i don't bite

just like one of those porn films isn't it

there's a woman alone in her flat and a sexy man comes to her

door in his leathers

and he asked her payment and she says

perhaps we could come to

some sort of arrangement and then move all you know it

they're humping like rabbits

no

no

no no it was a mistake i'm sorry

word of advice

men don't take highly to being dicked around

next bloke my takeaway promised

i keep the change

do you have to go

i'm the best man

but it's only a dry run

how hard can it be to hand over a couple of rings Nicole please

i'm really not naughty for miss staunch willpower

he bosses he ruined my life

i'm all on my own

she's mr darker

then it might be too dangerous to leave the house

so you're missing the bridesmaid and the best man yeah afraid

so they've

they've both disappeared into thin air purpose of the exercise

is to ensure

everyone knows what they're doing i'm really sorry

let's hope they're more reliable on the day

shall we make a start

so Claire you'll walk

into position

for themselves friends once they got message from either

you know what they like it's not about them

they're best friends we can't keep lightning them off the

hood Claire nobody it's not good enough

they know how

important this is to me they don't want

everything to be perfect yet

where are they probably hiding

so they don't have to face each other exactly all single them

bloody cells the whole things are mess

nobody weddings are shambles

none of this is so i imagine

what would have ferry to a wedding

wanted to feel like a princess

instead i'm exhausted because at a name on the baby

i'm too fat for my dress i've got a useless fraids me

and my father's walking me down the aisle

in a wheelchair

it'll be fantastic it won't be fantastic it'll be fiascal

why didn't you propose earlier

i waited i'm waiting i'm waiting

three years and four years and five years and still didn't come

i don't know

because you weren't sure

you were keeping your options open

you knew i wanted to marry you

you knew for years and you never asked me

why would he

i don't

what do you mean you don't know how can you not know

Jesus Claire what's the matter with you

you've become neurotic it's like living with a different person

we were too busy living

we had career social lives you remember those days

a marriage didn't seem that important

we were too busy having fun

so was your career

what's happened to that huh

you were the most ambitious person i'd ever met

you wanted everything it's what i loved about

you your passion your drive what's changed Claire

i had your baby

that's what's changed your selfish bastard

Claire Claire

where are you going where are you from you

look don't be ridiculous we're gonna pick Jack up from

helly's you're gonna get yourself killed

tell me this

if i've changed so much

if i'm such a different person to the one

you started going out with

why are you marrying me

right now

i haven't got a clue

cry

can we do something like what

anything look up on your website

it's got squirrels on it

you get more like your mother every day

and that's not a compliment

thought they were picking him up at five

they said about five

lovely

look at this

handy little noose like i eat you

noise

noise

listen can you hear it

by ticking

where come on

what are you doing tick tock me from down there

where

tick talk tick

talk piss off

new year's Eve 2002

we had the best shag of our life

straight after we agreed we never wanted kids

where do you drag that from

i'm like a donkey i never forget

it's an elephant

i'm about to change my mind

he wasn't sure

eight years because he wasn't sure

wow that's why he's like

it's not good enough

clary lose you

i want to be adored

you are i wanna be someone's number one

someone's can't live without

you are

why doesn't it feel like it why

do i always feel like the bloody runner up prize

if that's him

i don't want to speak to him

this is a friend

female

you gotta let her in

is any wonder he doesn't want to marry me

i blame you look at you

bloody let's ario different women every day

filling his head

with stories about all the great sex you're having

he's he's jealous of you

well then then he's insane

30 something man

who gets pulpitations at the first sign of commitment

why can't you just

fall in love and settle down like normal people

you know why

you know why

the woman that i dream about

nobody matches up to her

now it even comes close

but i have to lock up that little room inside my head because

i can't have a

she's taken

what if she wasn't

holly

Ali

don't hate me

i know i am a bad person

but don't hate me

what happened to you

took a night for days well

i started

and then i realized that they were herbal stress relief tablet

so i hit the wine Ali

i know i know

i was clear

that was gonna be my question to you

we had a real

big one thought she might have come here

well i've been out getting um floor cleaner because oh

where if she calls just tell her

tell her to come home

i'm aware this one

can you hear them come

but

啊啊

i'm so sorry

so am i

where have you been

you know

all right

you're my world

my whole world

i love you

so much

marry me

all

you show you what to do this for the wedding so i was thinking

house to myself

maybe you could come over

you can't do this you have to forget about it

i can't

he's got i want a baby why

i can't call me a wedding

i want a bow