Original subtitles

- Thank you, George. - That was scrumptious.

-I thought you would enjoy that.

Now, I've got another little surprise for you.

- Oh? - Yes, something rather exciting.

-Oh, George, every time I'm with you is exciting.

-I must warn you, though, that the place I have in mind is sometimes frequented

by rather unsavory characters.

It could get a little rough.

-Well, I feel safe with you.

-Twenty, man.

Motherfucker.

-Oh, George, you and your surprises.

We got 20, three to one.

- A hundred bucks, one hundred bucks. - Twenty right here.

- Twenty more. - Pull them, you're eight minutes.

Do I have any takers'? We got some more action over here.

- Yes, I'll take 20 on that. - Okay.

- Give me 20 of it. - A cock sucking contest!

Oh, George.

-This is my last 42 bucks.

-I'm telling you, that girl can't do anything.

Give me that money, it's going to be a surefire bet.

I tell you, clem.

-Okay. Anybody else'?

Anybody else'?

-Aren't you going to bet'?

-I'm into it purely for the sport.

Well, I know differently.

-Okay. Anybody else'?

Bets are closed. Okay, are we ready'?

Is the girl ready?

Okay. Ladies, gentlemen.

The money is down. Money talks, bullshit walks.

Are you ready'?

On your Mark... get set... go!

-One minute, 15 seconds.

We're just into it now.

That way, good technique.

That's the way to work it, mouth.

- What do you think, folks? - Do you think she'll do it?

I think she'll do it.

Come on, baby. Two minutes, 20 seconds.

Excellent, excellent.

- See, I've told you. - You're going to get your money.

She can't do anything.

-I'm warning you, mouth.

-Fuck you, Jeff.

-Hey, wait a minute.

- What's going on? - George, what happened?

-Well, she quit,

and now that gentleman's going to have to forfeit the bet.

- Mouth, where the hell are you going? - You can't run out on me.

-She quit.

-What about my money?

-Let go of me.

-Shit.

- Goddamn it. - What's the big deal?

-You act as though you think you could do it better.

-I can, you know that.

-Let's see you.

-Okay, I'll be right back.

- Do you need some help? - Are you crazy?

Those people in there are ready to take my head off!

- Yeah, I need some help! - I know, I was one of those people.

-Well, I mean, the only way anybody's gonna help is...

-I know.

- Are you serious? - I'm serious.

- You're not joking? - No.

- Last chance to back out. - Nope.

-Let's go.

-Okay, ladies and gentlemen.

We got another one of my girls here to finish the job.

-Hey, that's not the chick we bet on.

- What do you mean? - Who cares what girl it is.

-Hey, man, you give me back my money, motherfucker, or I'm kicking your ass.

-The deal was eight minutes, not who does it.

-What's the difference?

- I guess none. - Precisely.

-All right, are you ready?

On your marks... get set... go.

Seven seconds into it, she's making excellent progress.

Will she do it, ladies and germs?

I believe so.

- Almost there, come on. - Come on, baby.

Almost. You're almost in the money.

Almost there.

Come on.

- Come on, come on. Yes, go deeper. - Come on, you can do it.

-We did it, we did it!

Oh, baby, you saved my ass!

-Oh, come on, let me buy you dinner.

Please. Please, you gotta

- let me buy you dinner. - Okay, okay.

-Oh, god, thank you. Thank you.

Oh, baby, you just saved my ass.

Thank you.

Oh, Jesus.

-You're the best.

Oh, give me a fucking break.

-Cynthia, this is the mouth.

-What is it?

You're kidding.

-I ran out on Jeff and she took over.

-So she must be good.

I want you to keep an eye on her and Jeff for me.

I want to know everything that they're up to.

I don't want anything getting in the way of my comeback.

Sure, sure, sure. I'll send you some money,

just keep an eye on them.

Okay.

-What was that all about?

-Well, it seems that there's a newcomer on the west coast, and she's good.

The mouth managed to throw another one of her temper tantrums

and this other chick just stepped in and took over.

Now Jeff is managing her.

- That sounds like trouble. - That's all I need, goddammit.

-Now, look, don't get bent out of shape, snake.

We haven't even seen this new girl yet.

She's probably just another flash in the pan.

-Oh, yeah? All I know is no one's going to get in our way

of winning that suck-off.

I'm going to do anything I have to do for us to collect that $50,000.

-Just don't forget that I haven't decided to enter yet.

- What kind of talk is that? - What are you, crazy?

Listen, when you're done with your training,

you'll be back in your old form.

It'll be a breeze.

-You're so sexy when you get angry.

-Oh, yeah? You liked that, huh?

-Come here.

-You know what this means?

-Mm-hmm.

You're going to fuck me.

- Touch my chest. - Come on, touch it.

Ooh, that feels good. That feels so good.

Let me tell you what. Why don't I not fuck you,

and I'll just look at you and jerk off?

-No. I'm going to fuck you.

-Easy, easy, easy.

You don't want me to cum, do you?

Cum too quick.

-Not yet.

-You're so sexy.

You're so fucking sexy.

Let me grind that in there.

Move that ass on me, move that ass on me.

That's it. Great, let me see you move your hips around, nice and slow.

Wow, your ass is so great. Such a great ass.

- You like this way? - Yes.

-You're like a stallion, you look like a stallion.

No, I look like a stallion.

Swing your head around, I want to see your hair.

- Tell me your name. - I want to hear your name.

- Silky. - Ooh, say it again.

-Cynthia silk throat.

I can suck your cock better than it's ever been sucked before.

Show me what a big load you've got for me, Jake.

-All over your pussy.

-Yes, I want to see it.

-You want to see it?

-See how much cum you've got to give me, baby.

Show me.

-Oh, that's...

-Oh, my god.

That butt's an achievement.

- You drive me crazy, you know that? - You drive me crazy.

-You see what I mean?

There's a lot of money to be made in this business.

A lot of people don't even know it exists.

I mean, $50,000 is a lot of money, if you ask me.

-Fifty thousand dollars for a blowjob?

-Not just any blowjob, the best blowjob in the world.

They call it the super bowl of suck-offs.

They hold it each year in Vegas, but this year, the price is 50 big ones.

Winner-take-all.

-God, what I could do with $50,000.

-Well, that's where I come in.

See, you need yourself a grade-a manager like myself.

I get a percentage.

You take the prize and all the glory.

That works out to be a very equitable affair.

Now, the only problem I can see, of course, is silky.

-Silky?

-Cynthia silk throat.

That's what they call her, anyway.

You see, everybody in the business has a name.

She's the east coast champ.

She's retired now, but rumor has it she was going to get back

in the business when she heard about the prize at the big suck-off.

-Well, I'm not worried about her.

You did say I was the best around, didn't you?

-That's what I said.

-Then it's a deal?

-Yeah, it's a deal.

I'll call Don head, the promoter

of the suck-off, and tell him we got a new entry.

-Well, before you do that, there's one thing I want you to know.

Even though $50,000 sounds great, I'm not doing it for the money.

I'm doing it for the fun.

-Hey, baby, whatever turns you on.

-Oh, I think you know what turns me on.

-How would you like to see my yellow-bellied, South African blowfish?

-Your what?

-It's a little hobby of mine, if you know what I mean.

-Let's go.

-My goodness.

You are one attractive lady.

Such silky smooth skin.

Oh, you're so fine.

Oh, yeah.

I don't think a man could ask for a more attractive partner,

business or otherwise.

-That was just the appetizer.

Now for the main course.

-That's nice.

Oh, yeah.

-Oh, Jeff, you're so good.

-Fuck me harder.

Oh, yeah.

-Oh, yes.

-Oh, yeah.

-Oh, yeah.

-You got it.

- All right, baby. - That's it. Yes, there.

- Oh, yeah. - I want to suck your cum.

-Yes.

-Oh, I want your cum.

-Ooh, give me that cum.

-Partners?

-More than partners.

“

-Funnies! The best part.

Now, you know we're going to have to get you in shape for the big suck-off,

and I was figuring we could make some money while we're at it.

-Yes, what do you have in mind?

-Well, I was thinking we could hit some swingers' clubs.

There'd be a lot of guys there for you to practice on,

and I'm sure we can make some bucks in the process.

Swingers got a lot of cash.

-Sounds like a plan to me, but why can't I practice with you?

Tammy,

a guy can only do so much.

Anyway, I have to save my energy, too, you know.

-All right.

What about a name? You said everybody had a name.

- Yeah, you're right. - Let's see... what'll go with Tammy?

Tammy terrific?

No.

-Terrible Tammy?

-No.

-Tammy the tongue?

That's great, I love it.

-That's a keeper.

One, two, three, four.

Come on, harder.

Two, three, four.

Tammy, cock sucking is an art.

To be a good cock sucker, you've got to size up your opponent,

study your victim.

Know what he likes and learn what it takes.

Let them know who's in control.

Come on, champ.

You're not working hard enough.

You've got to pay the price, you've got to pay the price.

Tammy, always remember the head, for it is the key to success.

Remember the head, you'll be a winner.

One, two, three, four.

Come on, harder.

Two, three, four.

One... come on, champ, let's work.

Come on. You really gotta work.

The only way you'll get to the top is putting in that extra effort.

Excellent. Now, let's see some of that tongue.

Let's see some of that tongue there, that's the way.

That's what's going to bring us right to the top.

Excellent. Come on, come on, champ. Let's get serious.

You want to be the best, you're going to have to work the hardest.

Everybody knows the road to victory is paved with hard work.

Now, come on, let's get serious.

-If it's any consolation, she gives great head.

-Hey.

- Two minutes, 20 seconds. - That's it.

Let your tongue do the work.

Back and forth.

Three minutes, 31 seconds.

Slide, slither.

Ooh, that's it.

Come on, champ.

Everybody knows it's no pain, no gain in this business.

This isn't child's play.

This is for the championship.

Come on.

-Good, good.

That's the form, that's what's going to bring us to the top.

Come on, champ.

-Excellent.

-Yeah!

-Yeah!

-Flash in the pan, huh?

Next thing you know, she'll be on the cover of time magazine.

-Oh, Jake.

-Who are you calling?

-Don head.

Hello, Don?

Hi, this is silky.

How are things in Vegas?

- Look at you, sly fox. - How the hell are you?

Yeah, things are just great here.

Oh, yeah, the big suck-off is still for the 13th

and it's going to be quite an event.

They're covering it on cable TV.

Yeah, I sold the rights.

-Well, count me in.

-Wonderful.

-Yeah, I know I said I was retiring, but I'd like to go out with a bang,

if you know what I mean.

- Well, I can understand that. - Who else is in the competition?

Well, so far only two girls have qualified.

We've got a young girl from Texas named Linda lonestar,

and your ex-manager, Jeff, has some new sensation,

Tammy the tongue.

Nice touch, huh?

-Yeah, nice touch.

Listen, Don, I hate to chat and run, but I've got an important appointment.

I just wanted to let you know that you could count me in.

Yeah, thanks, it's nice to be back.

So long.

-What made you change your mind?

-You.

Little Earl Annie wasn't such stiff competition, anyway.

Oh, my little dove, have I been neglecting you?

-You look like you're getting in shape, darling.

- I sure am. - Great.

I got the hotel reservations, I got the tickets for Vegas,

and I got the rent-a-car parked right outside.

-Rent-a-car? Fuck that.

I want a limo.

-Well, darling, I don't know if we can afford a limo.

- What are you talking about? - $50,000,

we can hire a limo just to go the circle k.

-Well, you sound awfully confident about winning.

-Just because silkthroat beat me once doesn't mean she's going to do it again.

About those rumors I've been hearing about that Tammy the tongue...

Well, you can just forget about those, because I'm confident about winning.

-Well, I guess there is a lot that we can do with $50,000.

-Oh, we are a team, now, aren't we, sugar?

-Yeah, well, I guess so.

-What do you say we get down to some of that real working out?

-Oh, man.

That's real good, darling.

Oh, yeah.

-Now, come on. Harder. Come on, now.

Yeah, real fast.

Okay, stop, stop.

I think that's all we better train for now, darling.

Stay back.

Eat me some of this fine, Texas pelt.

That tastes better than mama's home cooking.

Your tongue feels so hot.

-Oh, yeah. That's right.

Go around that clit.

That's it, yeah.

-I love the way your pussy tastes.

-That's it, yes.

-I wish they were having a pussy eating contest.

-Come on up, darling.

-Ooh, you have such a nice, big, thick cock, yeah.

That's great. Oh, feels so good.

Oh, that's great.

-You know what, darling?

I'm going to stick my cock right into your butt.

-Oh, fuck, you bad boy.

-Ooh, that is tight.

-Come on, pump it.

Yeah.

-Oh, your fucking ass is so hot.

- Hey, look. - It's Tammy the tongue.

-Hey, yeah, it is.

- Whoa. - Wow, you think we can get your autograph?

Wow. Would you believe it?

-Pretty crazy party tonight, huh?

-Yeah, that's Tammy the tongue, the hottest thing to ever hit this club.

-Yeah?

- Me, too. - Wow.

- You're great. - Oh, wow.

- God, you look great. - Gorgeous.

- Oh, yes, she looks... - Hey, Jeff, long time no see.

- Yeah, what's going on, Wayne? - Nothing much.

I see you're still earning a living on your own.

- Yeah, what's it to you? - Nothing.

I hear she's very hot.

She's the best.

-The best, huh?

So you obviously haven't met my girlfriend, Patti.

-Patti cakes?

-Yeah.

-Hey, you laugh, but would you be willing to make a bet?

-You're on, sucker.

-I think it's time we ought to check this broad out.

-Yeah.

-Okay, ladies, the first one to make a man cum is going to win this race.

On your Mark... get set... go.

-All right.

-She's not bad.

- What do you mean, she's not bad? - I mean, look, she's pretty good.

Hold it.

What the hell is going on here?

This is a pleasure party, not a business party.

Take your business elsewhere. And you? You ought to know better.

-Listen, I think this place is just a little too uptight right now.

Why don't we come back in a couple of days?

Ten to one, both of them will be here.

Let's get out of here.

-This last week before the contest is really important.

You have to get in some intense physical training.

Make sure we got it all together.

- Well, I'm ready. - Great.

There's going to be a reporter stopping by from a Swedish erotic magazine.

They called earlier and said they wanted to do a cover story on you.

I told them it was okay.

- You don't mind, do you? - No, not at all.

What time is she supposed to be here?

-She's going to be here about noon.

Look, I'm running a little late.

Are sure you can handle this?

-Of course, I can handle it.

-You be a good girl.

We got a big week ahead of us.

-I'll be good, I promise.

-Is that any way to kiss your girlfriend goodbye?

-Bye bye.

-Beautiful.

-Give me that wet and wild smile.

Oh, you got such a gorgeous face.

Oh, yes. Open your legs, yes.

Oh, that's pretty.

Real pretty.

Okay, big lips.

Wow.

You can wrap them around anyone's big dick.

Yes.

Beautiful.

Wow.

Why don't you change into something else?

- Okay. - Oh, that was a great outfit.

“

Like a little bird.

Well, let's see here.

To start with, how long have you been in the business?

-Oh, not long. I'm a newcomer, I guess.

I just do it for the fun of it.

“

I see. Have you thought about

what you're going to wear for the competition?

I hear it's very important how you dress.

- Oh, I've thought about it. - I just can't decide.

Jeff has something special planned.

-Now...

Now, about your sexual preference.

Are you straight, gay, bi, or what?

- Well, technically, I'm straight. - I've never made it with a woman.

I've never had the opportunity, that's all.

-Oh, really?

But you've been thinking about it?

-Oh, yeah.

-Do you need some help?

-If you don't mind.

- Oh, here. - Oh, thank you.

I guess the...

They're staring at me.

-Beautiful.

-Oh, god.

-Oh, yes.

-Don, you old whore, how're you doing?

- Hello, Wayne. - You look great.

- Hi, there. - Girlfriend Patti cakes, Don head.

-Hi. Nice to meet you, Patti.

-First off, let me congratulate you on the upcoming competition.

It's probably going to make you a lot of money, huh?

-Hope so.

-Well, look, I have a little problem about this.

I happened to know that you used to have a personal appearance contract

with silkthroat. Isn't that right?

-Yes, Wayne.

-Well, look, the thing is, you had a personal appearance

contract and it looks to me like she's a ringer.

I kind of believe that no one else has a chance,

and I think that a competition like this really stirs the public's interest.

They don't want the same champion all the time.

It looks bush.

-Go ahead, Wayne.

-All right. All right, Don, look.

My girlfriend, Patti cakes, here, is unbelievable.

She's great.

But I don't think she's got a chance as long as you're in silkthroat's corner,

do you know what I mean?

I've got a proposition for you.

I want to offer you something right up front on the table.

Not behind closed doors.

I have here $5,000.

This is yours, if you...

Hey, look, what's $5,000, right? It's a $50,000 competition.

This is the deal.

I give you $5,000 if my babe gets into the finals and does real well,

you know what I mean?

-Wayne, why do you do this to me right now?

I've been interviewing people all day long.

Can we discuss this, maybe, tomorrow?

- Hey, Patti cakes, come here. - Talk to Don. Will you, please?

I happen to know that you have some heavy alimony bills to pay,

isn't that true?

-That is true.

Now, what I've got here is the kind of medicine that'll cure a lot of sore throats.

Do you know what I mean?

-I really want to win this suck-off.

Oh, honey, there's a good chance you might, anyway.

-Well, I mean, I want to live up to your name, Don head.

Wayne, Wayne, Wayne.

Why do you do this to me right now?

Do you know the kind of trouble I can get into if people even knew

that you two are in my office?

Oh, my god, you really want to win this thing, don't you?

-Absolutely.

- What do you say, Don? - Is it a deal?

-Listen, Wayne, can we discuss business later, huh?

-Yeah, we'll talk.

Later.

-Hey, she does give good head.

Hey, what do you think, I'm an amateur?

- Go, go, baby. - That's right, yeah.

Rock it back and forth. That's it. Oh, fucking around.

Why don't you go a little faster?

Oh, yeah, baby.

-Lick the balls.

Put it in your mouth. Just rock them.

Come on, baby.

Oh, yes.

Good stuff. Good stuff.

Oh, yes. Way to go, baby. Take it. Oh, like that.

Oh, she takes it deep, too.

- Oh, you're good at this. - Rock away, that's it.

- Rock over to me, back and forth. - So fucking good.

Oh, come on, baby.

That's it. Oh. That's it, Wayne, rock it. That's great.

Oh, back to me. Okay.

Ooh, going dirty. Go in there.

I don't see why you can't win the competition, anyway.

This girl's going to win. What are you worried about?

Do you think anybody's better than this?

Grade a.

That's it.

-Hey, Don. Why don't you check out this end?

- Oh, do mind if I do. - All right.

-Excuse me. You're sexy.

-Oh, baby.

-That's right, cool it off, baby.

Cool it off. Oh, yes.

-Nice.

Go down, real slow. Go right on it. Ready?

Go, right on.

Come on up.

She takes a lot of it. Go down, come on up.

- Come on up. Tell me something. - How come they call her Patti cakes?

-Because she likes her cakes filled with cream.

Really?

-Oh, yes.

- Oh, let me see. - Test my finger first.

How does that feel? All right?

Feelgood?

Ooh, put my second finger.

How's that, honey? All right?

- Oh, I'm loving that fucking ass. - Look at that.

-She's going to win, right, Don?

-I don't see why not.

So fucking good.

-Oh, fuck.

Oh, fuck.

- Oh, come on, ride it. - Oh, sit on it.

Oh, my dick feels so good in your ass.

-Oh, keep it up.

Oh, oh, I can feel it.

-Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Yes, sir?

- A couple of scotches, please. - Coming up.

-I told you they'd be here tonight.

-You were right.

-Excuse me for a moment.

-Look, why don't you go occupy the boyfriend?

I've got an idea how to fuck up the competition.

-Good idea.

No problem.

-Hi. Aren't you Tammy the tongue?

-Yes.

- Yeah, I read about you in a newspaper. - I'm one of your biggest fans.

-Well, thank you.

-My name is Jake.

Jake the snake. You can call me Jake.

-Hello, Jeff.

-Hello, Cynthia.

-Long time no see.

-I'm not sure if that's good or bad.

-Still hard feelings?

-No.

-So, you have a new lady?

-You here with Jake tonight?

-Yes, he's here.

Didn't you see him?

- He's one person I can do without seeing. - It didn't have to be like this.

-No.

Look, I got somebody waiting for me.

-Don't you just have a minute to talk?

-Yeah, I got a minute. To talk.

Well, the suck-off is some big deal, huh?

What are they giving for the grand prize?

-What?

-The grand prize. What's the grand prize, the win?

-Oh, $50,000.

- Wow, $50,000. - That's a lot of money for a blowjob.

-Would you excuse me?

-Yeah, sure.

-I'm really sorry, Jeff.

-Hell.0

Jake, would you mind taking me home?

- I don't mind. - Okay, I really want to get out of here.

-Okay.

-Than ks.

There's something I've been meaning to tell you about Vegas.

I can see to it that you win. You do me a little favor,

scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.

-What do you mean?

-I'll be straight with you.

I'm Cynthia silkthroat's manager, I pull all the strings in her operation.

If you and I have a good time tonight...

You'll be a shoo-in in the contest.

-Well, what do you want me to do?

-First of all, maybe I'd like to take a little look at you.

Do you feel sexy?

-Oh, yes.

-You should feel sexy, because what you have on is very sexy,

very nasty. Wait a minute, wait a minute. Don't get carried away.

That's a good idea. Let me see your breasts just a little bit.

Let me see them.

Ooh, look at those nipples.

Squeeze them.

I bet you feel like you should win, dontyou?

- Oh, yes. - Yes?

Come close to me.

I'm going to jerk off to you.

-Okay, just tell me what you want me to do.

-Just enjoy me jerking off.

- Would you like to watch me do that? - Yes.

- Anybody ever do this to you? - No, never.

-Let me see your pussy, let me see.

It's so puffy.

Ooh, I bet you'd like it if I put this in there, right?

-Oh, yeah.

-Put that in there.

I don't think I'm going to do

- that this time. - Put it in.

-No, no, not this time.

Maybe another time.

I may put it in. I may put it in.

You know what I'd like to do?

I'd like to jerk off on that skirt you're wearing.

-Okay.

-Play with your pussy, let me see.

I know, why don't you...

You can put your mouth on this for a minute,

why don't you do that?

-That's enough. That's enough.

- Why? - You want to do it more?

- I want to suck it. - I know.

- Say it once again. - I want to suck it.

-Suck it again.

That's enough.

I like to tease myself.

-You're teasing me.

- Do you know what I'm going to do? - What are you going to do?

-I'm just going to put the head in and take it out.

- Should I do that? - Mm-hmm.

- Just for a second. - Just for a second.

Just for a second.

-I want it now.

-I'm just going to put it in a little bit.

Just a little bit, just the head.

-Just a little more.

Yes. Oh, yes.

- That's all. I can't do it no more. - Why don't you turn over?

Yes, stick your ass up for me, on your knees.

Come closer to me.

Let me see. Show me your ass.

Touch it, squeeze it. You know what I'd love to do?

I'd love to just cum right on that skirt.

- Would you like that? - Oh, yes.

Touch my cock, touch it.

- Jerk it with your hand. - Put it in.

- No. Tell me, do you want me to put it in? - I want it in.

- No, no, no. - You can fuck me.

-Maybe another time, I'm going to jerk off all over your ass.

I want you to look as I do it. You're going to watch it come out.

Watch it come out.

Stick your ass like that. You can look at it.

Tell me when you want it to come.

- I want it now. - You want it now?

-What do you want me to do?

- Put it now. - Stick it in?

-Oh, there you go. Oh, yes.

-Oh, yes.

Oh, yes. Yes.

Maybe I can fuck you next time, after you win.

-Yes.

- Lick all that cum off of it, all the cum. - That's it.

- Don't be shy. I've got to go. - It's okay.

We're even.

-Get out of here.

- What the hell happened? - Don't talk to me.

-Hey.

Wait a minute.

-I saw you with Cynthia at the club.

-Oh, god.

Look, I can explain all that.

- I don't want to hear it. - I saw enough.

- Hey, come on. - She was just using me.

I admit it.

I fell for it for a minute, but Tammy, I love you.

-You promise?

-Come on.

Let's just kiss and make up and go to bed, okay?

We've got a big week ahead of us.

-Okay. Only if you promise she doesn't mean anything to you.

-Have I ever lied to you?

-Well, was she better than me?

-Tammy.

Yes, tell me. What do you want?

Silkthroat vs. Simmons.

Hold on a second. Silkthroat, seven minutes, 37 seconds.

-Tammy the tongue and silkthroat, Eve? You got it.

-Yes. I told you not to call here.

Yes, I do love you. I'll be home as soon as I can.

Bye, ma.

-Ladies and gentlemen,

welcome to the fourth annual world championship, coming to you...

-If I'm not mistaken, that gregarious, gargantuan

gag line here on the background is for none other than...

Yes, it's Tammy the tongue.

It's Tammy the tongue, that all-American girl dressed

in red, white, and blue, and a red, white, and blue entourage.

Here she comes.

Tammy the tongue has certainly deserved her place here in the finals having

to create a little to get here.

-Have a seat, champ.

-Ladies and gentlemen, if I'm not mistaken...

If not I'm mistaken,

those gorgeous cans belong to no one but that devious dong destroyer

from Texas, Linda lonestar.

This is Linda lonestar.

Linda lonestar's manager, buck.

- Yee-hoo. - Yee-haw.

-You've got to stay calm, stay cool.

Look at her over there, she's thinking about you.

She sweating it.

-You'd better be out of town by sundown, girl.

-All right. I don't even want you to look at her anymore.

I want you to stay calm.

This is it. This is the big one.

-Ladies and gentlemen, and children

welcome to the world championship suck-off event,

where the motto is, if you can't eat me, you can't beat me.

Please excite me, just don't bite me.

-You know, girls,

if it wasn't for that little monthly social security check,

we'd never be able to see television like this.

- In that corner, a newcomer to the sport. - Irresistible,

irrepressible, Tammy the tongue.

-In that corner, we have a sexy thing from Texas,

the land where things are big, oily, and gushing out the top,

Ms. Linda lonestar.

- I thought this cable TV... - They said it's hardcore.

If it's hardcore and you're paying for it, where are the hard parts?

-Here they are, Mr. Tweedledong and tweedledick.

-Here we go.

Atta girl.

Suck them off, Linda.

-Stay calm. You ready?

-I'm going to show that city girl how to suck cock.

-Comeon, tongue.

That's the way to get her.

Nice, nice.

-Look at her go down on that boy.

-The bout appears to be even right now.

Tammy the tongue has literally swallowed the nation's imagination

with her titillating tongue techniques.

It's rumored she was a trumpet player in high school and then learned to use

her tongue in such a fascinating fashion,

to use it to get these men off.

Her tongue is moving at an incredible hundred miles an hour.

- Come on, tongue, you can do it. - Come on.

- Great, get the hands underneath. - All right, keep the tongue moving,

jaw loose.

Nice move, nice move.

-Going over to Linda lonestar,

Linda lonestar is known as the ice cream queen in Texas.

She's rumored to have wads of rocky road hidden up in her cavernous oral cavity.

-Have you ever seen anybody get a tongue lashing on his swinging sirloin

like that before?

-Buck, it don't look like she's getting him very hard.

-No. It don't look like she's getting him very hard.

What the hell is wrong?

- All right, Tammy. - Go, Tammy.

Lonestar, she ain't even getting him up.

Piece of cake. Come on, tongue.

- What are we going to do? - I'll tell you what we're going to do.

I'm getting in there.

- I want to have some head. - Wait, what's this? What's this?

Linda lonestar's manager has jumped in, has pulled down his pants,

and he's placing his devious dong in Linda's oral cavity.

-Hey, wait a minute.

They can't bring the manager in. That's a foul.

- Hey, that's not fair. - What's going on here?

-Yeah, I'm going to protest to the referee.

-Don't worry about them, darling.

Suck it.

That's it.

- Go, Linda. - Go, Linda, go. Get him.

- Go. - Come on, Tammy.

- Com on, you can do it. - Come on, Tammy.

Let's go, let's go.

-They can't get away with that.

-What do they think they're doing?

- I don't know. - What kind of bullshit is this?

-Get him, buck.

-I believe he has cum, yes.

He has spread his jism all over Linda lonestar's face.

-I think we won, darling.

-I didn't even have a chance.

She was good.

-She wasn't good.

That was her boyfriend.

I know they're going to call it a foul.

Just wait a second. I know the judges will see it that way.

-Tammy the tongue has returned to her corner and she's crying.

Buck and Linda lonestar raising their arms in the sky as if they have won victory.

I wonder.

We're going to have to get some official word on this,

because I have never seen this happen before in the ring.

I just really can't tell you for sure whether or not this is in the rule books.

Ladies and gentlemen, yes, here comes Don head.

Here comes Don head.

He should be able to clear all this up for us.

-Linda lonestar used her manager as her stud.

The rulebook, on page six,

section nine, states that familiarity brings the refinements in style.

Or in other words, she's probably sucked on his Texas longhorn many times before.

She is then disqualified.

The new winner is Tammy the tongue.

-Yes, baby. We did it.

-Yes, Don head just disqualified Linda lonestar,

and Tammy the tongue is the winner by unanimous disqualification.

-How the hell are we going to pay for that limousine now?

-Get out. Get out of here.

That's a courageous decision by Don head, and I got to hand it to him.

One of the few courageous men in this rather sleazy business.

-I'm telling you, the world's record is seven minutes, 23 seconds.

-Indoor or outdoor?

-What's the difference?

-Wind resistance.

-Here comes Patti cakes.

Patti cakes with her manager, Wayne savage.

-Not one of my favorite people, but obviously an effective manager

to get Patti here in the finals.

-Patti cake's obvious advantage is she's been a professional dancer

in Las Vegas for a number of years, and her neck extension is beyond belief.

It's an obvious advantage in cock sucking.

Could that be...

That could be what everybody, ladies and gentlemen, is waiting for.

The black Princess of prick polishing,

Cynthia silkthroat.

That's the reigning champion, Cynthia silkthroat.

The dragon, the veritable Princess of blackness, of dick devouring,

and her manager, Jake the snake davido.

Silkthroat!

-I saw this silkthroat bitch at the '83 tampa suck-off.

She's the rat's ass.

-If your wife blows better than she does, she's finished.

- What? - How would you know how my wife blows?

-There's the bell and the bout has begun.

Patti cakes and silkthroat on the center ring

and both sink to their knees. These girls choose their own stud cocks.

They choose them obviously for their size and rapidity in cumming.

These girls have different techniques.

Patti cakes uses her strong thigh muscles, developed from years

of professional dance training.

Her mouth moves back and forth.

Her tongue tonguing the underside of the cock.

She likes to play with balls a lot.

-Look at that. Look at the way she takes them all the way down.

Look at them.

It's like she's just fucking with her mouth.

It's unbelievable.

-Now, silkthroat's bodacious ta-tas obviously give her incredible lung power,

and look at her head move back and forth.

She has staying power like nobody else in this business

and I think that's going to make her last so long.

- All right, baby, way to go. - Fifty grand and bora bora,

here I come.

Tammy, baby. Sweetheart, what's the matter?

-What do you mean you're not going back out there?

-I can't Jeff.

I'm just not good enough.

- Are you kidding? - You're the best.

You just won, didn't you?

-Yeah, I won.

No, Jeff, I can't go back out there.

-Tammy.

-The organ is growing in tumescence.

It's growing in readiness and I think silkthroat is coming to a victory.

-Don't look at silkthroat.

- Don't look at her. - Go, go, go.

-Yes, he is.

-Yes, can you believe that silkthroat bitch?

She's the best. She's outstanding.

- It ain't over yet. - What?

I don't believe this guy, man.

- The winner... - Bullshit.

Is Cynthia silkthroat.

-You know, that silkthroat is pretty good, but in the last bout, that little blonde,

Tammy the tongue, she's always been my favorite.

Reminds me of me in my youth.

-I'm going to put my money on the little blonde.

Tammy the tongue.

-You're crazy.

-I'm a hundred dollars crazy.

You on?

- You got it. - All right.

-I can't and I won't.

-That's it?

I just stand here in a rented tuxedo

and you tell me you're not going back out there?

So this is how it all ends.

All those months, all those hours, all that training.

-Where's the tongue?

- I don't know. - Shit.

-Goddammit. Go to a commercial.

-You want to know what I think?

I think you were planning this all along.

I think you're throwing this for Jake the snake.

- No, that's not true. - Oh, I see it all now.

You get a percentage and make me look like a fool,

and throw it to that cunt, silkthroat.

-How can you say that?

-What's your percentage, Tammy?

Twenty, thirty percent?

Hold out, honey. I think you can do better.

-Jeff, please.

All those months you trained me and pushed me,

you really made me think I was the best.

Listen to me! And I loved you for that.

Goddammit, I'm going to go prove it to you right now.

-Tammy, yeah!

-Sit down, tongue. Have a seat.

- Stay calm. Just relax. - Ladies and gentlemen,

and now for our final event, for champion

of the fourth annual world championship suck-off.

The semifinalists are...

In this corner, once again, we have Tammy the tongue.

-Cynthia silkthroat, huh?

Better call her sandpaper tongue. Believe me, I know.

-In the next corner, we have the reigning champion herself,

Cynthia silkthroat.

-I saw her against lonestar.

No problem,

just get in there and take her out fast.

-Go get her, kid.

-I'm going to mess you up.

-Go for it.

-Come on, tongue. Come on, nice. Nice.

- Come on, Tammy. - Come, the tongue.

You can do it, you can do it.

- Go, Tammy, come on. - Way to go, good technique.

- This is unbelievable. - A total newcomer, Tammy the tongue,

is actually giving the Princess of darkness,

Cynthia silkthroat, a run for her money.

-We're almost there, baby.

Almost. Come on.

We still got time.

-It looks like her tonsillectomy has paid off.

She has totally cleared her throat of any oral appendage

other than the world-famous tongue.

-Oh, baby, come on.

Come on.

-Yes, silky's tiring off.

She's fading, girls.

-This is by far thee...

-Come on, baby.

-Yes, we did it.

-Overflowing jism.

- It looks like we have a new winner. - It's Tammy the tongue.

- I love that. - Look at her suck that dick.

Please, stay back, stay back. Move back, stay back.

-The new champion of the fourth annual suck-off event

is none other than Tammy the tongue.

- This is absolute bedlam. - This is absolute bedlam.

I've never seen anything like this. We got a new champion.

-Take one.

- Can I get you something else? - I want to see this thing.

-What?

- I want to see this thing. - Can I get you anything?

No.

-Once again, bartender, pick up your glass.

-Cue, marker.

-Yeah!

-I want to see this thing, can I get you anything else?

-Pick up, take three.

-I think it's time we checked this broad out.

- What the hell happened? - Don't talk to me.

-Cut.

-Okay, ladies, come on out.

Hold it there.

No, Julie. Back to your corner, Julie.

-She's the rat's ass.

- Get out of here. - She blows better than your wife does.

-You did it wrong.

-Why don't we come back in a couple of days.

Ten to one, both of those...

Fuck, one again. Fuckers.

- Sorry. - Together. Keep together.

- Okay, okay. There we go. - Settle down.

-You don't mind, do you?

- No, not at all. - What time... I'm sorry.

- Cut. - There's the bell and Patti cake's...

There's the bell and Patti cakes and sweet...

-Hoo-hah!

- You got it. - On your knees and give us a big smile.

-I want you to lick it, darling, like a cow licks a salt lick.

-Yes.

-I'm gonna do everything I have to do...

All I know is, no one is getting in the way of...

All I know is, no one's getting in the way of...

-Oh, shit.

-You see, everybody in the name's got a business.

- You're fucking... - Oh, shit.

- I can't look at him. - Look at him.

-Yeah.

Beautiful.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

- Look in the camera. - All right, go get them.

Oh, shit.

-Wonderful.