Original subtitles

Hello?

Ebony?

Ebony's not home.

Ebony's in Bali.

Who is this?

It's Nikola.

Kol.

Kol Denick?

Denic.

Oh. You've grown up.

You all right, love?

Bit of a suss hour to be calling.

I know.

I was just thinking about her.

Oh, darl, I…

I wasn't thinking about her. It's…

I'm sorry.

Okay. Okay.

Okay.

Fuck!

Fuck.

Oh! Excuse me!

Excuse me! Hi!

Hi! So sorry to bother you!

Do you have 40 cents?

-Do you have 40 cents? -Okay.

Just 40 cents?

-Thank you so much. -No worries.

Thank you. Thank you!

Okay. Okay.

Fuck!

It's your girlfriend!

Don't take five hours, I'm downloading!

-What? What is it? -What the fuck, Kol?

I've been redialing for yonks.

It's 'cause of the dial-up. Ivo's been logged in.

What is it? Where are you?

Please don't yell at me!

Why would I yell at you?

Ebony, where are you?

I don't know!

What do you mean you don't know?

We were going to the beach, to this guy's dad's boat

and-- and this guy,

he was gonna get the boat and Tari had some speed but I--

I only took like the teensiest, tiniest like…

Like not even a full line. Like a half line. Like a hyphen.

I was fine, I remember, I was, like, chill,

and he was going to get the boat, this guy from Saint Basil.

Guy from where?

-I fucking swear-- -I can't hear you!

Saint Basil. Saint Basil!

His dad had a boat. Listen, please.

And he was a bit grabby, maybe,

but not like sleaze-o so I was like, "Yeah, okay."

Like, I mean, I was practically a nun through schoolies.

Wansajah and Tari were both complete sluts--

I understand literally nothing of what you're saying to me!

I know! I know, I just --

I don't want you to think he was this total rando.

And, yeah, okay, he was a bit older, but he wasn't, like, old.

He was on his Ps so it's just-- We couldn't find his dad's boat,

and we were at the beach, and then, um…

and then I don't remember.

Ebony, you are not cohesing!

I don't know what to do. Tell me what you want me to do!

I know. I know, I just…

My bag's gone and my shoes. One of them's gone too.

And…

Kol, my dress? For the Civic Center?

It's at Tari's.

It's at Tari's.

You have to come get me, Kol. You have to come get me.

I have to come get you?

I have to be at the Civic Center. In less than two hours, like you do!

Oh, my God, Kol! Are you even, like, listening?

I don't know where I am!

You have to go to Tari's, you have to get my dress

and then you have to come get me. Like, do you understand?

There's no time. We'll have to drive straight there!

-Straight there! -How am I gonna come get you?

I don't know! Like, your mum and stuff. Get her to give us a lift.

My mum's just come home from a night shift.

She won't want to drive to--

Wait.

Where in Christ's hell even are you?

-What's the name of the beach? -I need the Internet!

What?

Isn't there a sign? What's the name of the beach?

There's a street sign.

Get the Melway's. There's a street sign.

-I'm on Allenby Street. -Allenby?

Allenby, you idiot! Hurry up!

Allenby Street. Allenby Street. A-L-L.

Oh, my God, I'm cold. I'm, like, so cold!

There's an Allenby Street in Reservoir, one in Canterbury,

one in Altona, one in Coburg. Which one?

Which one has a beach?

Maybe Altona?

But that's, like, ages away.

Well, it must be one of the others, then!

So ask someone!

There's no one around. And stop yelling at me!

-There must be someone! -Just hang on a second!

Fucking hell!

Okay. Don't hang up, okay?

Altona. I'm in Altona!

Kol, are you there?

I'm in Altona. Come get me!

Hello!

Fucking come how, Ebony?

Stop yelling at me!

I think we need to call your mum.

Altona's an hour away!

Don't you dare. Don't you bloody dare, Kol Denic!

Don't you dare, Kol Denic. I swear to God!

Ebony, it's seven fucking thirty-five a.m.

I need to dress. You need to dress!

Look, we'll think of something to say.

You call my mum, I'm never fucking dancing ever again.

Not today at the Civic Center, not anywhere ever!

-I don't see how else we make it-- -Don't you dare, Kol Denic!

-What? -I don't see how else we make it, Ebony!

Okay, who do you know? Who do you know?

You're not being very helpful. Who do you know?

I don't know anyone else's number by heart.

This is not happening. This is not happening.

There's got to be someone with a car.

If they have a car, they probably have a life.

Duh!

Arsehole.

Oh, hang on.

Hang on, I know someone who doesn't.

Who?

You still there?

Shh! Can you please let me concentrate?

Okay. Okay, here's what you're going to do.

Listening?

Tari?

She's asleep!

You're Tari's sister, yeah?

Yeah, Romeo, she's asleep.

Here, take it. You talk.

-Hello? -Hi, um, is Adam home?

Yeah, just one sec.

Thank you.

-See, what was so hard about it? -Their mum knows my voice.

She has to think it'd be someone else.

-Hello? -Hey, Adam, yeah?

Yeah?

-Um, it's Jaya. -Who?

Uh, apparently we went to Watsonia High together.

Um, I don't really know what's going on,

but apparently there's something up with your sister.

And, um-- Well-- This gay kid just rocked up at my house,

and I'll just give it to him so he can explain it to you better.

I'm not actually gay, actually.

Anyway, I don't know what that has to do with anything.

-Uh, hi, Adam? -Hi.

It's Nikola here. It's Kol here.

Um, we kinda sorta met at Ebony's Macbeth thing, kinda?

Anyway, just say nothing to your mum, okay?

Just act like everything's super chill.

But your sister and me, we're in deep shit.

Where am I going?

Where am I going? I don't know where I'm going.

-Which room? -It's that one.

Hey, hey, hey.

- Tari. Tari, Tari? - Oh, my God.

Tari.

- Oh, shit. - Dude.

Is that Ebony's? Is that-- Is that--

That's Ebony's! Shit.

Dude.

Hey.

Relax, dude.

Where's the dress?

-The dress! -I don't know, just chill!

- Burgundy. - Just take a moment.

-With fringes. -It's fine.

Do you see any burgundy with fringes?

- Shit. - No, I don't.

Yes!

Oh, my God.

Okay, okay.

Hmm. We never saw him with anyone.

He got voted the Most Likely to Bomb the School.

Hmm.

That's a category you voted on? Of course it is.

But, like, three of my friends tried to fuck him.

I tried to fuck him too.

Watsonia High, man.

Slim bloody pickings.

That's all I can say.

Adam? Adam.

Thank you, Jaya. Jaya, thank you. Okay?

-Just chill, man. -I owe you my firstborn.

Thanks so much. Thank you.

Hi, I'm Kol.

-You're literally saving my life. -Yeah, so where am I going?

Um, you can go-- Go left on Grimshaw and then I'll--

I'm not sure if maybe…

Or maybe…

I'm not sure if this is the way to…

Ugh! Um…

-What? What is it? -I can't-- I can't tell…

It's just, I can't tell--

I can't tell if maybe this…

Is this Grimshaw?

It's just…

-Um, I don't think this is the way. -What? What is it? Spit it out!

What's the way to get to Altona

and then back to the Civic Center

by-- by 9-- 8:45?

9:00. 9:00 is fine.

I would say by helicopter.

Maybe there's a different road, though. There's quite a few different--

In one hour?

Unless we are literally flying,

we're gonna be lucky to make it to Altona at all,

much less there and back.

There's quite a few different road--

If I was you, I would reschedule your emergency dance lesson.

It's not a lesson. It's the fucking finals.

It's the finals.

- What are you doing? - Stop. Stop the…

What the fuck!

I'm sorry.

Sorry, mate. It's not…

It's not you…

entirely. It's just…

a bit of a weird day for me.

It's okay.

-Hmm? -It's nice music.

It's Argentinian?

Yeah, some of it.

It's from a-- from a movie.

When are you flying?

Tomorrow.

At 01:00.

That's right.

- Ebony mentioned. - Yeah.

There's always next year, right?

Like next year's finals?

Your sister's applied to all these unis in Sydney.

She won't be here.

What, NIDA?

Ebony get into NIDA?

Did we see the same play?

Ebony's going to get into NIDA, you think?

Out, damn spot.

Out.

That's mean.

Yeah, but I mean, if that's your main obstacle, right?

Ebony…

getting into the National Dramatic Institute of Cate Blanchetts,

hold on to your leotard.

It's tobacco.

What else would it be?

-I-I mean, I don't smoke. -Hmm.

Sorry.

I know what else it would be.

But you're a good boy.

That's okay.

Being a good boy. Good boys make it out.

A book I'm reading, actually…

Mmm.

It's by an Argentinian.

Borges?

Borges?

-What? -Yeah.

You go to school with my sister, and you're reading Borges?

I went to school with your sister.

-Right. Went. -We finished.

Been hours now, hey.

You're graduates.

Are you jaded yet?

You're jaded.

Shut up.

Borges?

-You're, like, 11. -I'm 18 in, like, three weeks.

Arsehole.

Three weeks.

What's that? That's New Year's…

-New Year's Eve? -New Year's Day.

New Year's Day.

Hello.

-Apocalypse Day. -Uh-huh.

Better not be standing next to a computer.

I'll be standing next to a Malbec.

What about you?

Next to three drunk uncles, probably.

-In Sarajevo. -Jesus!

For real?

My cousin's getting married.

We haven't been back since we left.

You're not, like, scared you might die?

I guess.

I might slit my veins, from boredom.

You've got a flair for the dramatic, don't you?

Is this actually a dance costume,

or is this just what a trip to the servo looks like for you?

Shut up.

-What's the movie? -Hmm?

The movie?

Oh, it's from Happy Together.

I haven't seen it.

Yeah, well, technically, I wouldn't have expected you to have.

But then here you are,

reading Borges and…

holidaying in Bosnia.

Sporting some serious cleavage.

So…

…I'm out.

I am out.

Is it any good?

The movie?

It made me want to move to Buenos Aires.

I'll check it out.

I like movies from countries I haven't visited.

So was it the war that brought you guys here?

Mm-hmm.

-Yeah? -The war.

We don't have no bread.

We don't have no water.

Tears, we have only to drink. Tears.

- Was that a Dracula impression? - Fuck you.

Dickhead.

Okay, so it wasn't the war, then.

-We moved in '91. -Mmm.

My dad was an engineer.

So what's he doing now? Is he driving taxis?

No, now he's dead.

-Fuck. -Yeah.

Nah.

I'm really sorry.

It's, like, so fine.

-I swear. -Yeah.

It's been, like, five years. More.

I'm just waiting for my uncle to die now.

We live in his house.

Is he sick?

No.

Just…

psycho.

So would be good to get rid of him.

-Huh? -You want me to kill someone in return?

Strangers on a Train

is also a good movie.

You're one fucked up unit, aren't ya?

Just a little.

I approve.

I think.

Was it really the movie that made you want to move?

You know I do actually have a postgrad in Linguistics, right?

Huh.

And a major in Spanish.

You went to Melbourne Uni, yeah?

Yeah.

Does that mean you were a good boy yourself?

In high school?

Uh… I don't know that that quite describes me.

Jaya said you were like this lone wolf terrorist.

Yeah, it probably had something to do with the fact that

I never made eye contact with humans.

Or the trouble I had

sort of arranging my face into expressions that were considered warm.

Or friendly.

Just non-murderous, really.

Or for that matter, just connected to things that I actually felt.

I can at least look forward to uni, right?

Compared to high school.

Compared to Bogan High?

Yeah, you can look forward to a kidney stone.

I put down Melbourne Uni as my first preference.

Behavioral Science.

Yeah, you'll be fine. You're obviously a smart kid.

I used to be a smart kid.

When you get to uni, suddenly everyone's a fuckin' smart kid.

Why'd you choose Spanish?

Honest truth?

South Americans.

They're just hotter.

-Yeah? -Hmm.

Oh, yeah.

Totally. Like what's-her-name.

Giselie.

Hmm.

Do you have something else?

Yeah, there should be some stuff back there. There should be a whole box.

What's all this?

Just some of my ex's stuff.

Wound up at my place by mistake.

Your ex was French?

Macedonian.

But she liked French music?

Look, you got a bakery.

That's not my spelling. I'm K-O-L.

Ebony helped me come up with it, actually.

Oh, romantic.

K-O-L.

Kol.

Wow. Joseph K.

Moved up in life. Opened a meatworks.

Kafka?

You read Kafka?

What the fuck am I saying? Of course you read Kafka.

What, did you read The Castle?

- The Trial.

-Did you like it? -Yeah.

-Yeah? -I got a lot out of it.

- Favorite book. - Great Expectations.

-Yours? -Under the Volcano.

-I haven't read it. -I'm stunned.

I was expecting an essay.

- Boom. The Esplanade. - Boom, the Esplanade.

Shut up. Just drive along the beach, and look for an Allenby Street.

And a phone booth.

Did you promise Jaya your firstborn?

K-O-L Kol?

-Just K-O-L-- -What do I get?

-The next five. -Wow.

Better get busy.

Stop reading all those books.

You'll have no trouble with that outfit on.

You'll start pumping them out.

I'll get right to it.

I hope so.

Allenby.

-Allenby. -Allenby.

-Allenby, Allenby! -Shut up!

Phone booth.

Is that--

Oh, my gosh.

Hey!

Wake up, princess!

She's dead.

Look at her.

Your Macedonian ex, she's gonna kill me.

Ah, chill.

He won't.

Took you bloody long enough.

Yeah, you're fuckin' welcome, ya dero.

I'll take this.

Give us some air con.

Should have dialed Mum if you wanted air con.

We need a different route back.

-Just keep an eye. -Yeah, cool. No problem, bro.

- Yeah? - Yeah, too easy. Sweet.

Let's do it.

-Yeah, man. -Just…

Kororoit Creek.

Geelong Road, Dynon.

Mad as, done.

Cheers, bro.

Fuck this.

Can we get a burger or something? I'm fucking starving.

So, Kol, you got a girlfriend?

No.

You like my sister, is that it?

- Ew! - Ew, no!

I mean, like, she's hot as, duh.

But we're more like really good friends.

Yeah, I'm, uh, I'm not his type.

Who's your type?

I don't know.

Someone who reads a book.

Someone who's read Borges?

What?

I'll accept Kafka.

Oh, my God, of course you two would love each other,

you fuckin' nerdoids.

-Hey, Eb? -What?

You wanna try swing past the Civic Center?

They'd be ready to announce the winners right about now.

We could go peek in.

Clap.

Oh, my fucking God, Nikola.

You're such a bloody drama queen.

Like, we missed one pissy gaybo dance competition.

Like, so the hell what? So the hell what? Like, who the hell cares?

What are you gonna do now, like, crack the shits? God.

Like, there's more important things in life.

I think you should probably be a bit more mature and grow up, maybe.

That is not Lady Macbeth

calling the kettle a drama queen, Nikola.

Are you fuckin' dead set?

Suck my dick, homo.

Oof! Oof!

Watch out NIDA!

Oh, my God, unsex me, like, here, you gaybo spirits?

Fuck off, Adam.

And fill me? Like, from the crown? Full-on to the toe?

Seriously.

Adam, I'm serious. Cut it out.

Topful of the, like, I'm thinking, what's your direst cruelty?

She did so well, huh?

You did so well in that role, Ebony.

I'm so proud of you.

Oh, my God, out, you fag spot. Out!

Get, like, off of me!

What?

Ebony!

Are you for real?

Eb!

Where are you even going?

Eb!

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

No, you're not.

-You guys were right. -I'm sorry.

You're a grouse actress.

Everyone says so.

No, they don't.

Yeah, they do!

You're like the next Nicole Kidman.

She's fucking trash!

All right, I know she's trash. She's trash.

You're the next Cate Blanchett, Eb.

I didn't get in.

Of course you'll get in!

No, you're not listening.

I got the letter yesterday.

I didn't get in.

Well, fuck NIDA!

Fuck 'em!

They're cunts and they're wrong.

They're wrong.

Fuck Cate Blanchett, too.

You're way better.

I love you.

Idiot.

Come back to the car.

Fucking car. Fucking Adam. Just fucking--

Like, so nervous.

So me and Kol thought we'd have, like, one drink,

just, like, ease the nerves and stuff.

And then, like, Mum, seriously, I don't know what happened after that.

Like, we literally fell asleep, and we slept in this morning.

Like, I know, I know. It's--

Oh, my God!

Yeah, well, you never fucking believe me anyway,

so I don't know why I expected different from you.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, we had drinks 'cause we were so nervous.

Because it's the finals.

Yeah, and then we slept in,

and I don't even know what happened after that.

Literally, oh, my God, Mum,

when we woke up, we, like, freaked out, I swear.

Wait!

Wait, you're actually insane.

Like you're actually insane, and I can't fucking stand it.

Yeah, I'm not-- No, not engaging. Not engaging.

How'd Fay take it?

Just drive.

Fifty-one.

When did Greensborough get so full of wogs?

Jesus!

I know, right?

Actually, you should call your mum about the Civic Center.

Oh, she wasn't coming today.

It's a shame she doesn't support you.

She works three jobs.

We're a planet away from the people she loves.

I'd call that supporting me.

Fifty-three.

-Fifty-three! -See ya.

Order 49.

Donegal!

Adam Donegal.

Mate.

You don't recognize me?

Travis Mellor.

Where have you been hiding?

-What? -Who, me?

I meant your brother.

But hi.

-I'm Mellor. -Hi, I'm Ebony.

Didn't recognize ya.

No shit.

I been working out.

Oh, okay.

I don't think that's why.

- Are you coming later? - Coming where?

Boon-Dog's 21st.

Boon-Dog?

What's a Boon-Dog?

What's a Boon-Dog?

This guy.

School together for six years and now he's all like,

-I don't know. Too good for us? -Yeah.

Yeah, don't think any of us want to remember Watsonia High.

- Fuckin' oath. - Hmm.

Hey, you might know Boon-Dog's sister.

I mean, fiancé.

-Coral? -Coral Birch?

Yeah, it's at their house, the party.

-Hey, you should come. -Mad as. We should.

We should!

She's like right up the hill from Tari's, behind the, um, Video Ezy, yeah?

- Yeah, behind the Video Ezy. - Yeah. Yeah.

- Oh, my God, we should. - Yeah.

Um, is it, like, themed or…

It's bring your own STD.

Ohh.

Yeah, yeah, nah, nah.

I don't know, not a very creative bunch. Um…

I don't know, you should just wear what you're wearing.

- Oh, yeah, sick as. - Yeah.

- Right, so we'll see you tonight. - In the house.

Righto.

Catch ya later, Donegal.

- Catch youse then. - See ya.

Bye.

Sick as, bro.

In the house.

Coral Birch is a fucking mole,

but we're going to that party.

No, you're not.

Excuse me, I was invited.

Yeah, well, I'm not.

Well, I'm not.

My name's Adam and I'm a loser.

I love you.

Come on.

Go.

Oh. Hi.

Fay! Hi!

-How are you? -Dining room. Now.

Good to see you.

Do you understand what it takes?

All of this?

Do you understand what it takes?

I don't understand what I've done. I do not understand what I've done.

Nights out with boys is the story.

I was not out with boys. I was with Kol. Kol is not boys.

Do you know what I have to go through to contribute to this house?

What about what I contribute to this household?

You're actually so disrespectful.

I turn up to the Civic Center and they say you're not there.

- What am I meant to think? - I was with Kol!

-Oh, my God, you're really pissing me off. -All night?

I'm actually about to lose it, so, like, can you stop hovering around me?

- Maybe just take a big step back. - Excuse me. I can't believe that.

- And then you just go on. - That's not the case.

- Oh, my God! - Look, it's not!

-I'm grounded? -…showing up to your obligations.

The money I spent on those dancing classes!

That was not my fault.

Hey.

Hey.

Oh, sorry.

I think my sister wants her room back.

Shit.

-That's okay. -I'm so sorry.

We're all good.

You hungry?

What time is it?

It's dinner time.

Think you're gonna need another shirt, though.

What?

What's going on?

Uh, it's my going away dinner.

Come on.

Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm okay.

Ah.

Ah.

You can wear this

and this.

Who's this?

Tori Amos.

Is she one of those gay divas?

No, she fucks men.

No, I mean,

like, you know,

Madonna or like Barbra Streisand or whatever.

Tori Amos is definitely not Barbra Streisand.

Okay.

Sorry.

No, that's okay.

Hey, just so you know.

I'm open-minded.

Like,

it's totally okay.

To be gay. You know.

What?

No, nothing.

Is it on Napster?

What's the album?

It's not an album, it's a B-side.

Cool.

Here.

T-shirts I was going to throw out.

Thanks.

Come on.

Twenty-three.

Just up ahead.

When did you drop off the tapes?

When you were

sleeping, beauty.

Just-- You can keep it.

Goran's not going to miss it.

He…

He was a Goran?

Ugh.

He was a…

He was an architect.

But, yeah, he was a Goran.

-It's my cousin's name. -Really?

Is he Maco?

-Serbian. -Right.

I'm three things.

Serbian.

Bosnian.

Yugoslav.

Yugoslav.

How does that even work?

Think I'm gonna lay out my political vicissitudes in, like, 45 seconds?

Vicissitudes!

Vicissitudes.

Do you look up the big words in the dictionary

and then practice them in front of a mirror?

-No! -Yeah, you do.

You do, don't you?

Vicissitudes.

All right.

Mr. Nikola Denic.

It's been fascinating.

Been a pleasure.

You maybe have like email or something?

Mm-hmm. It's…

y-cant-adam-read@hotmail.

I'll get Ebony to pass it on.

I doubt there's going to be any dial-up where I'm living, though.

Okay.

Yeah.

Well…

it was really nice to…

meet you.

I guess.

I know.

Not I guess.

Yeah.

And…

have a safe and,

you know, cool PhD.

And…

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

Bye.

Long story.

It's Ebony.

What? What now?

Thank fuck! I said you'd be in bed.

I'm at Coral's. Come.

-What? -Get off.

What?

Aren't you grounded?

I snuck out, you dildo.

What are they gonna do, ground me some more?

See you in a bit.

Whoo!

Coral!

Someone's spewed on your doormat.

Coral, hi.

Hi.

I guess.

Nikola. I was with you in Home Ec.

Friends with Ebony.

She's around, yeah?

Eb?

Oi, ya dingbat!

Took you bloody long enough!

What the fuck?

Oh, my God, Tari thinks she saw this cute guy

somewhere in this bit so I was, like, looking for him.

Well, here I am.

What? No, this white guy.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, here I am.

What? No, I meant like Aussie.

Oh, so not, like, Nicaraguan.

Let's look for him together, Kolly.

How'd you sneak out?

Adam covered for me.

Move, bogans. Thank you!

I swear, this guy that Tari saw,

if it's the guy I think it is, it's gonna make up

for, like, the year.

-Hey, I think I'm gonna bail. -Fucking hell.

God! Oh, my God, it's him. It's him. It's him. It's him.

Who are we talking about?

Oh, my God, I'm so nervous! Oh, my God. Okay.

- Hey! - Hey, Eb.

This is Brayden.

Hi.

Hi, I'm Ebony.

- Nice to meet ya. - Nice to meet you.

Got you a milk and Bailey's.

Think we saw you at Samara's? Samara's?

Yeah, yeah. At muck-up week.

It's like a Tamagotchi. Have you killed it?

-Right. Yeah? -Yeah, yeah.

She was like ballistic as,

-and I was just, like, fucking feral. -Oh, my God.

Hey!

Man of the moment.

- Come here. - Oh, my God!

- Come here. - No way!

You came!

I need to give you a big hug.

- Here. - Hi!

Oh, my gosh, come give me a hug!

Come on!

I reckon-- I reckon I'm gonna give you a long distance hug.

That's what I'm gonna do.

Like this.

I didn't know you two were friends.

Oh, yeah, this wanker's pretending like we're not.

But, like, we're pretty much like boyfriend-girlfriend.

- Nah. - Your bloody girlfriend!

You're just playing with me. You know it.

Yeah, I don't know what you're talking about.

Oh! What's-- Okay! All right! Oh, my God.

Dig the T-shirt.

Looks good.

Do you know what I need to see?

- Hmm? - I need to see this boy stoned.

- No. - I need to see it! I need to see it.

Oh, my God, Loredana, get your fat arse off of that couch.

Go get this boy a bong!

Quick, quick, quick quick! This is serious!

Don't touch me with your spastic fucking shoes.

Oh, my-- Okay.

- How're you going? - Don't hit me, Adam. Fucking hell.

It's okay.

Why are you in here?

There we go.

Very good. Very good. Nicely done.

Well, it's good for mental health because what it does, it relaxes you.

What do I do?

- Oh, my God, no way! - What do I do?

What do I do?

You're the best.

- Is he? - Yes, the best.

- The best? - He's so cute!

I think this'll be perfect for him,

for his mental health, for his clarity, for his well-being.

Let's do it, baby.

- All right, inhale. - Go, Kolly.

I don't think he's ever actually kissed a girl.

Yeah. Never.

Fucking yowza!

You good?

-Yeah, that's a bit dramatic. -It's not working!

It's not working? Excuse me, the weed isn't working?

How's that Coral, don't you reckon?

Who's that?

Oh, haven't you met Coral?

Oh, she's like this massive bitch but she's actually kind of nice.

- Oh, okay. - Yeah, yeah.

I reckon you'd like her, yeah.

I don't know if I would. She sounds like a bitch.

- Flog! - Spaz!

Sorry.

-Like fuck! -Coral.

Sorry.

Fucking moron!

Is…

Is Adam here?

Are you shitting me?

It's Ebony's brother.

Get the fuck out of my house.

Yeah, you tell him.

Back to fuckin' Czeckosouvlakia.

The fuck you staring at, babe?

You want me to get my fiancé?

He'd love to smash your face.

Fuckin' homo.

Hey!

I swear, I leave you alone for, like, five seconds.

What are you doing?

Jump in.

I went to take a leak and you were gone.

-You all right? -Yeah.

It was a grouse party, eh?

Are you kidding?

I wouldn't know.

I guess.

Twenty-three.

Where's Ebony?

I imagine not asking herself where you are.

Can you promise me one thing?

With my sister, can you just…

just cut her.

First chance you get.

I'm not being a dick.

Yeah?

You deserve better friends.

Guy like you? Much better.

I love Ebony.

Not like love-love.

Obviously.

Like a friend. I mean…

Fucking hell.

I know she can be a mess,

but…

deep down…

I think she brought me out here tonight to say that she's sorry.

She brought you out tonight 'cause I told her to call you.

I don't really have any other…

not-- not many other friends.

Don't tell her I said that.

Sorry.

You probably just want to get to bed.

Actually, I was gonna go for a drive.

Can I come?

Your sister never told me.

About you.

About me what?

That I'm a linguist?

No, that you're…

You know.

A sodomite?

Were you like openly…

In high school?

What, at Watsonia High?

Are you fucking kidding?

Why, did you have an openly gay guy the last couple of years?

No.

Everyone was straight then.

What's that…

It'd be nine hundred students.

They're all upstanding heterosexuals?

Every last one?

I lied before.

About Kafka.

I did read The Trial but…

I could barely follow it.

What about Borges?

I'm trying.

I don't really know what's going on most of the time.

What about the Balkans?

Was your mum actually born in Altona?

The Balkan part was true.

Alas.

Was there anything else?

That you've maybe been lying about?

Wait. Stop.

Oh, shit. Oh, shit!

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

-I'm sorry. -It's okay. It's okay.

I'm okay.

I can come again.

You will.

You turned up for me.

How long does a PhD take?

Sorry.

It's a dumb question.

No, it's not a dumb question.

At all.

Can I walk you to your door?

It's my uncle.

And stuff.

It's okay. You don't need to explain. It's fine.

Fuck this shit.

Promise me you'll meet someone.

Yeah?

You beautiful boy.

Easy.

What are the odds, eh?

We'd both be arriving right now?

A few weeks ago, I would have said low.

But in the middle of this Icelandic volcano apocalypse,

I'd say pretty high.

How many times did your flight get canceled?

Twice. What about you?

They had me on a 22-hour,

then a 26-hour,

then finally a 42-hour.

-So you were lucky. -Mm-hmm.

-Yeah. -Yeah.

-I smell like it, too. -Yeah, I noticed.

Oh, God.

Melbourne, eh?

You don't miss it?

No.

But it's home. Alas.

I remember growing up,

I was convinced I'd travel the world.

Have all these adventures.

Just meet these mind-blowing people.

Connect.

Fuck. Sorry.

What?

What's it been, four minutes since we sat down?

Already Nikola's gone all wanksestential.

Yeah, but that's what's great about you.

No, it's good. It's good it hasn't changed.

Everything else has.

-I'm a bitter old man these days. -Shut up.

A twink called me gaffer on Saturday.

What the fuck?

Gaffer?

Apparently.

Hmm.

Yeah, I wasn't gonna say anything, but…

I was kinda thinking the same thing when I saw you at baggage claim.

Change the subject. What the fuck?

Tell me about you.

Still in Buenos Aires?

All I know is you're one of those übercool people

who doesn't have a Facebook or Twitter or anything.

-No, I'm in Guatemala. -Of course you are.

Yeah.

With an aid organization.

The volcano canceled flights from Guatemala?

No, I flew in from Switzerland.

Yeah. I was up there for a conference.

Fancy.

They put us up in a $3,000 a night ski resort

so we could discuss ways on how to fix poor people.

Did you fix them?

Yeah.

Yeah, all fixed.

-Sure. -Yeah.

So you've been feeling filthy since the flight,

I've been feeling filthy since Switzerland, so…

What about you? What are you doing for pocket money?

Public health research.

At Bristol Uni.

England.

Mm-hmm.

What?

How are you still friends with my sister?

Oh.

I'm basically not.

Don't think we've properly spoken in five,

maybe six years.

But you flew 37 hours

through volcanic ash

for Ebony.

Well…

there's people here I haven't seen in ages, you know.

It was a good chance.

So where are you staying, your mum's?

-She's in Bendigo now. -Oh, yeah?

With my brother.

Yeah, he has a job there.

And a newborn.

Far out.

The whole shebang.

-I'll be heading over. -Yeah.

In a few days.

So you're going to stay at your uncle's till then?

Good God, no.

Those people don't talk to me anymore.

They don't even talk to Mum.

What happened?

They found out I fuck boys.

Bit of a deal-breaker.

So where you staying?

Bundoora Parc view.

You didn't have to get a hotel.

Ah, it's a ten-minute drive to the venue.

Who gets married in a church?

Who gets married?

You're gonna come say hi though, right?

I'll drive you to the hotel.

What?

I'll just be in the way.

Nah.

Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.

I'm not having it.

You're coming.

Hello! Come in, come in, come in!

-Everybody's home! -Oh, my God.

Fantastic.

Oh, my God, can you believe it?

Hi, guys, how are ya?

-Hi. How're you going? -Come here you!

Oh, my God, you have…

you have, like, muscles.

Like the SkyBus kinda makes me want to vomit.

-Yeah, yeah. -That's right, yeah.

Seems pretty effective.

-I'm Rhiannon. -Nikola.

Nikola.

Like Bristol? Wait, where's Bristol again?

I was born and raised here. Can't really break out of it.

No.

I don't think I could ever not live in Australia.

-Yeah? -Yeah, I don't know.

Your tag's on the bottom of your shoe.

Adam, you and I are so having a dance

-together tonight. -Not happening. I'm not dancing.

-You're gonna dance with me. -I'd ruin the wedding.

-Come on. -No, no, no. Kol's the dancer. Kol?

- Oh, do you? - After a couple of drinks, maybe.

We're dancing tonight.

Hey, Kolly, it was so sweet how you called after all these years.

Sorry I was in Bali.

Oh, that?

I was so embarrassed. I totally mixed up the time zones.

I've gotta say, I was a bit worried at the time.

Yeah, Mum was like, "You've gotta invite him to the wedding."

Yeah, of course.

Sorry, Fay.

- Such a good idea. - I've just had a flashback.

Remember picking him up from dance class?

We'd turn up at his place and he'd be out on the nature strip ten minutes early

freezing off his poor butt cheeks!

Adorable!

So like, is everyone here gays tonight?

- 'Cause like a part of me legit hopes so. - Really, Rhiannon? Shiraz?

Maybe put the red wines down.

I remember you now.

Kol Denic.

I remember you too, Coral Birch.

Well, it's, uh, Davidovich now.

-You married a Serb? -Mm-hmm.

Sure did.

Živeli.

- Živeli, is that how you say it? - Put the red down, Rhiannon.

Shockingly close.

Živeli.

Živeli!

Maybe put the reds down while we're getting dressed and everything.

And how about you, Kol? Are you hoping to get married?

Well…

gotta at least wait till it's legal.

Adam didn't wait. He just got married.

He did?

Yeah.

New York, wasn't it?

- Toronto. - Toronto.

My husband's Canadian.

Not American.

No way? Cool.

Yeah.

- Matt couldn't come, then? - On business.

On a business trip.

Didn't know.

Is what's-her-name coming?

To the wedding? Tari?

Who would invite her?

- Živeli! - Careful!

- All good. - Oh, my God, Rhiannon, I said--

It's a T-shirt. Calm your ovaries.

- Didn't I say? - T-shirt?

You've got fucking red wine on his white shoes.

Change in Ebony's room.

-You can change in my room, babe. -I was cheersing.

-It's fine. -I was try--

-I was trying to živeli him. -It's fine.

-Come on. -Don't worry, it's fine.

Un-fucking-believable.

Kolly babe, soz, yeah?

- It's all good. It's fine. - I'm sorry about her.

Remember which is which?

-Yeah. -Yeah?

Just move anything outta the way as well.

I need a stress-free zone, or I will freak out.

- So we're doing bubbles. - Bubbles.

I'm saying that between this photo and the contouring that's on my face?

-No comparison. -Hey, guys, I might run off

just to check in. Try to squeeze in a nap.

I'll get the keys.

I've ordered a cab. It's all good.

-You what? -It's all good. I've ordered a cab.

Well, un-order it, then. I'll drive you.

I can't wait to see youse all there.

- Bye! - Whoo-hoo!

- You nearly done? - No.

To witness that I, Jacob Curtis Stewart…

To witness that I, yep, Jacob Curtis Stewart…

Take thee,

Ebony Katrina Donegal…

Take the Ebony Katrina Donegal…

Bali for the honeymoon. Fantastic. Going to Kuta Beach.

But they're in this gorgeous resort.

Don't even have to leave the pool.

Oh, my God, I'd so love to be with them.

Well, no and yes, but, you know.

- You going to have a boogie later? - Of course. Absolutely.

Did you find your place? There's a board out the front there.

It shows, you know, where you are. Happy with your table?

- Yeah, great. - Oh, my God.

Hi.

Jenny.

Nikola.

Just this morning? Really?

You're serious about that?

-Plus, I'm such an idiot. -Hmm.

I was just here like three months ago.

Before I knew about the wedding.

-I would have waited otherwise. -Aw.

Me and my bank account are very much wrecked from these flights.

But you came. For Ebony.

I thought this was the randoms and cast-offs table,

but you guys must be close.

Yeah.

Whoo!

These are my two kids. This is Bentley.

He's older, because he's taller.

-And this is Shaquira. -Right.

-She's beautiful. -Thank you.

She's the youngest, and she's a girl.

When he grows up, he's going to be a dentist.

He likes to cut things.

-Do they look Lebanese to you? -Yeah.

Excuse me!

Only a bum chum!

Kol!

Kol! You're fucking sick as, man.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God!

Promise me one thing, okay? Go fuck yourselves!

I think the wedding dance was okay, but that was incredible.

Gays are just the best dancers. They just bloody are.

I saw this documentary on polar bears and it was, like…

Wasn't she beautiful?

Thank you.

Seriously?

Come on. Onto the dance floor.

Hey.

Hey!

How'd you guys meet?

Through work.

How many years ago?

Think it was five.

You happy?

What a dumb question.

That's the thing.

I'm such a loser.

Don't say that.

No, it's okay.

I am.

I am.

Because for me…

life froze

to this--

this one feeling.

Sometimes…

so many times, I think…

I think…

"Fuck.

How lucky am I?"

Yeah?

What other boy in Watsonia

got to experience this feeling?

'Cause I've met boys now.

I've met boys.

They don't know this feeling.

Only me.

Only I do.

How lucky.

Every day

of every week

of every month,

I think…

"How lucky."

Because that feeling…

Where's your key?

I don't wanna fuck.

Yeah, I know, me neither.

Then what do you want?

To hold you.

My beautiful boy.