Original subtitles

Downloaded from YTS.MX

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♪

MARY, NARRATING: Home.

Everyone needs a place to call home,

somewhere to be from

and take pride in.

For a long time, Bridgeville's been home to all kinds...

[Chuckling]

♪ Waiting for you 'cause you want me to ♪

...from the immigrant melon farmer

to the upstart businessman.

It was a booming agricultural centre

in the early 20th century.

A lot of people laid down deep roots here.

And, boy, they worked hard.

[Chuckling]

They played hard too.

People like...

my grandma.

She didn't remarry after Grandpa

never came back from Okinawa.

My grandma is buried right here

in Bridgeville, in the cemetery,

over 20 years ago.

She's actually in Pauper's Field, which is--

Still ticks me off, but that's a whole other story.

You know, sometimes big towns turn into small towns,

which doesn't fit some people

like, well, my mom,

who took off to-- I don't know where.

--when I was just seven.

♪ Because I love you

♪ Honestly, I love you

My grandmother raised me,

and we lived together until I married

Bridgeville policeman Donald Maroni when I was only 18.

We raised three girls, Anita, Lana and Tanya,

each one so different, makes you wonder.

Today, Bridgeville is no boomtown.

Like everywhere else, we've hit some rough spots,

but it's still famous for three things:

the annual Punkin' Chunkin' Festival,

which, you know, you've gotta see to believe;

Rapa Scrapple, the king of all scrapple;

and Jimmy's Grille,

which is right here on Main Street,

and where I come in.

I'm Mary Maroni.

I'm a cupcake maker.

♪ I love you honestly

♪ I love you honestly

♪ I love you honestly

♪ I love you honestly

♪ I do

♪ I do

♪ I love you honestly

♪ I love you honestly

♪ I love you honestly

♪ I love you honestly

♪ I love you honestly

♪ I love you honestly

♪ I do

♪

MARY: Here you go.

And what are we callingthis new little one?

Guess!Some of us don't have to guess.

Go easy on him, Bart. He's new in town.

Takes time to make the wall of fame.

Lenny?

Okay, I'm gonna saysomething maple.

That's the easy part.

Try again.

Why do you alwaysmake me guess?

I heard you were an Ivy League man.

You're supposed to be smart!

If he was smart, he'd be in the big city

practicing law instead of being our new country lawyer.

I'm right whereI wanna be, Bart.

Just doing my part for the town.

I don't have to bein a big place.

You sure?

No, I'm not sure,but I sure am hungry. Oh!

Need your vote, Bart!

A vote for Bloodworth is a vote for Bridgeville!

Can I eat my namesake cupcakes in peace?

You've been unopposed the last four elections.

Unopposed?

Well, I think Milo Horn would take exception to that.

Milo Horn, my keister.

He gets one vote every election, and it's his own!

He wouldn't get two votes if he ran for dogcatcher

and his dog had a ballot!

He needs help,

so give it a rest

before I start reciting this town's problems.

I'll do it.

Broken-down garbage trucks,

overhanging limbs, homeless people.

You ought to talk to the town council,

but I take your meanin'.

Enjoy.

You need help!

Hey, Quail.

Give any more thought to sellingme that antique plane?

That tool would make a fine birthday gift for Donald.

Yeah. No.

Um, I hate to see it go.

BART:Quail.

It's an antique store.

Store, as in "sell things."

You get it?

Bart, maybe it's just too important for him to sell.

Yeah, I just hate parting with. That's all.

Maybe next time.

Need your vote, Mary.

♪

Night, Alex!

MARY: Hey, Albert.

Hey, Mary.

Nice job on the trim.

It's not much,but I try to keep it up.

Scrapple sandwich in there.Thanks.

Got another one for you.Oh!

Thanks.

Thanks for stopping by.

♪

MARY: Oh.

Whoo!

How far was that one?

Twenty-eight yards into abouta 10-mile-per-hour wind.

Not too shabby.

Thanks.

One more?Yeah.

Well, I'm not saying it's wrong

to want to be the first female NFL player,

but do you really want to team up with all those guys

bumping and dancing around after every move?

I mean, really.

Well, that's just theentertainment part of the sport.

They're told to do all that stuff.

Yeah, well, they look silly.

Baseball players don't do that most of the time.

Mom, you're outof touch.

♪

Will you go get your dad?

Sure.

I'll do it.

♪

[Knocking on door]

Dinner, Dad.

Be right there.

[Harmonica continues playing]

You didn't tell her, right?

And miss all the fun when you do?

Shut up!

♪ Red roses, hot coffee, and sky blue ♪

♪ Oceans, salt, autumn

♪ And buttercream too

♪ And I admit

♪ All of it's true

♪ But I love nothing more than I love you ♪

[Birds chirping]

All right.

If somebody has something to say, just say it.

The ribs look good.

Anita, how's the job search going?

Jimmy's looking for a dependable dishwasher.

I'm looking, but you gotta understand.

The Noize is starting to draw some big, big crowds.

Lana, what's going on with you?

Huh? Nothing. Nothing.

The ribs look really good, though.

All right, everybody, forks down.

Lana's got something she wants to tell us.

Okay, here's how it happened.

Elbows off the table.

Sorry.

Remember that time I volunteered you

to substitute when I was, like, nine?

Yes, and I told you I would not substitute,

because I don't like classrooms or babysitting.

LANA:Right.

Well, this is not like that.

Good. What's it like?

I also told you how civics was gonna drag down my GPA?

We talked about my teacher?

Tommy Nixon.

More of a coach than a teacher.

Exactly.

Well, he gave us this little extra-credit assignment

about taking part in Bridgeville's politics,

and, in a broader sense, "America" politics?

All right. Come out with it.

You're running for mayor.

Excuse me, uh, what?

I volunteered you.

[Gasping]

Why didn't you volunteer your father?

Come on, Mom, we all know who our family mayor is,

and it's not Dad.

Sorry, no offence.

Well, tomorrow you just tell Tommy Nixon

that you're un-volunteering me!

Mom, it's school stuff!

Just because you didn't finish school

does not mean I don't want to!

Back!

Come here!

Sit down.

Pass me the bread, please.

All of it.

Mayor?

MARY:Hey! Coach Nixon!

Just the manI'm looking for.

Hey, Mare.

Oh, by the way, the Jimmy's Jam,

that was good stuff.

I don't know what, uh--

I don't know what you guys do there, but tasty.

Look, um, I want my nametaken off the ballot today, now.

What ballot? What are you talking about?

This.

Oh, well, look at this!

Wow, haven't seen-- Where'd you get this?

Councilman Grundle brought itby Jimmy's this morning.

Thought it was rather funny.

Actually, I did too.

It wasn't meant to be humorous.

It was, you know, a project for the kids.

I don't like politics, and, uh,even though someone should run

against Bloodworth,it's not gonna be me.

Mare, we all know Charlie's got it in the bag.

This was just a way for the kidsto get involved in the process,

kick the tires a little, you know?

Well, you should be proud of Lana.

She was the only one who got a volunteer.

Volunteer? No, I didn't volunteer.

Just get my name off the ballot, please.

Mare, if you didn't want your name on the ballot,

why'd you sign the registration form?

The what?

Uh, the form, the registration, the form to run?

No, I-- That-- I neversaw anything, uh...

Okay, well, I got a copy of it,

or I thought I had a copy of something.

Hang on.

Oh, yeah. Right here.

♪

♪ Hey

You wanna pay the electric bill;you can leave everything on.

Otherwise...

[Sighing]

...turn it off, now.

[Clicking keys]

[Music stops]

All right. Let's talk about this.

I signed your name.

So what? I happento like politics.

Maybe I'll be mayoror governor someday.

This town could usea woman running things.

You should have volunteered yourself then.

No, Mom, I'm too young.

But I'm gonnaace civics now.

My grades areimportant to me.

You should be happy.

I'm not, not at all.

I don't know why we'retalking about this.

Nobody is gonna notice yourname on the stupid ballot.

Hm.

All right.

Good night.

Here you go, honey.

Thanks, Mom.

[Sighing]

Hello, Mary.

The usual, Britney?

Or should I call you my esteemed opponent?

BRITNEY: Didn't think you wereinto politics, Mrs. Maroni,

being a mom anda bakery lady and all.

I'm not.

It was just a mistake, a joke!

Well, I assure you running for the office of mayor

is no joke, Mare.

Well, now, that's wide open for debate.

Hey, Britney.

Tanya.

Your hair looks cute.

Thanks.

Change bowls?

Uh-huh.

Oh, well, you ought to be proud of your mother,

rising up from obscurity

to oppose me in my quest for a fifth term.

You know, no one really likes you.

I hope my mom wins.

Honey.

♪

GREG: What'll she get?

A handful of votes at best.

It's a slap in the face, my face!

Come on, Charlie, it's no big deal.

Yeah, she's the cupcake lady.

Don't say it likeit isn't important.

Yeah, Arnie, cupcakes are very important.

Cupcakes?

Just a reminder that your position on the town council

is by appointment, my appointment!

If I lose, then you lose all those nice little perks

you've been extracting fromthe town budget year after year!

Greg, you still planningto put that above-ground pool

in your backyard next spring?

What if someone else's pencil istallying up the merchants' dues?

And, Arnie, with you out ofthe police and fire equation,

town might just decide a newpatrol car is the way to go,

meaning no more newdiamanté jewellery

for that wife of yours.

So, gentlemen,is this really funny?

I didn't think so.

Now, get out the damn vote.

You heard him, Arnie.

Get out the damn vote.

[Insects buzzing]

[Honking]

Speed traps kill towns, Donald.

♪

[Laughing]

Vote for Bloodworth.

♪

[Sign creaking]

[Sighing]

[Gasping]

Oh!

[Puffing]

Oh!

How much?

Quail?

Hey, hey!

Ahem. Would you mind if I--?

Don't even think about it, Arnie.

Okay. I won't.

What are you reading?

MARY: Whoa!

Gotta be 30.

Wind's up, too.

Ready for me to hold?

No, not yet.

Do they let the pros kick field goals off of tees?

Well, what if Ikicked your hand?

Mm, well, can't think like that, honey.

[Kissing]

Is it my turn?

Yeah. Aye.

It's catchy and topical,

with a sentimentthat's dead on.

What? Oh!

Mm!

[Harmonica playing]

Donald?

I'm worried about Anita.

She doesn't have any direction.

DONALD: She'll be fine.

And she thinks The Noize is her direction.

Should check them out sometime.

The Noize with a Z?

I mean, really, how many peopleis she playing for, like, three?

That's no way tomake a living. Hold on.

I want to try this on you.

That's good.

And Lana, she knows what she wants, clearly.

Even Tanya knowswhat she wants to be

when she grows up, but I just--

I want Anita to be happy.

Seems happy to me.

How come you never let me hear you play?

Play what?

Never mind. How's work?

Ugh.

They're talkingabout layoffs again.

Really?

They'll never let you go.

Well, if they do,

you can always teach me howto make those cupcakes.

Mm, no, I never will.

[Chuckling]

"And your littledog, too."

Mm.

[Laughing]

Mary.

What?

I'm gonna vote for you.

♪

♪ I gotta get back, get back to you ♪

♪ I know it's been a long time

♪ But I don't know what to do Thank you.

♪ With my time and my mind It's a fantasy ♪

Good luck.

♪ I know it's just a dream, girl ♪

All these men voting.

I'm getting a bad feeling, Brit.

She's so much, well, cuter than I am.

♪ Finally home now that work is done ♪

♪ I know it's been a long time

♪ Since you and I've had any fun ♪

I wonder whoauthorizes speed traps.

♪ Just what love could mean

♪ I know I want you near me

♪ For the rest of what may be ♪

♪ On a whim

♪ I'll run laps and relax And we'll all turn in ♪

♪ Till we decide to face facts for all my worries ♪

♪ Are onto you Still on a whim ♪

♪ I come straight back

♪ To you

Mary, can I ask you something?

Sure, just make it quick.

Okay, I'm almost 20 and I work at a diner

making practically no money.

I feel kind of useless.

I mean, no, no, no.

It's just you have a real skill,and I just wait tables.

Don't you goto college, Claire?

I kind of quit last semester.

Oh.

Okay, if you wantto feel useful,

either go back tocollege or work harder.

I'm sure Jimmy will give you a couple more shifts.

Okay.

It'll work out.

You know, Mary,I would've voted for you;

I just didn'tget the chance.

It's okay. It's-- It's fine.Okay.

Jimmy, you know, you ate all the blueberries again.

Did I?

Yeah, and now I gotta go get some more,

'cause Bart'll be back after lunch for another dozen.

You know, I'd have voted for you, too, but--

I know. It's fine.

It doesn't matter.I'm not mayor material, anyway.

When are the results supposed to be announced?

I don't know. It doesn't matter.

I'm just gonna be happy whenthe whole thing is over with.

Slow it down, mayor.We got all day.

Admittedly, I'm a bit edgy.

Once it's certified, town council announces,

then I'll have my tea.

I just can't shake this feeling of impending doom.

Doom? Why?

You've got it in the bag again.

We know that for 100% certain.

Greg will be knocking on our front door any minute.

Sure you're right.

You're always right, sugar.

Mm!

Look at that one!

Mm!

Mayor?

Heimlich.What? What?

Speak clearer, please! Heimlich!

Like what's his name?Oh, Marvin? Marvin!

Heimlich!

Heimlich?Oh, Heimlich.

Oh, yes, oh, yes!I'll Heimlich you.

Oh! Oh, I can't, mayor.

Hold on. Hold on.

Cough, mayor, cough!

[Pottery shattering]

Cough hard!

♪ And you make me feel so... [Coughing]

[Hacking]

[Grunting]

How was that? All better?

Daddy?

Daddy!

♪ All I know

[Siren chirping]

Please! Hurry,hurry, please!

My daddy's inside!Please! Hurry!

Hurry, he's--

♪ 'Round one hand on the phone ♪

♪ And your feet can hardly touch the ground ♪

♪ But you're not

♪ High maintenance to me ♪

I'm so sorry for your loss, Britney.

I'm an orphan!

MARY: One of my cupcakes killed him?

It wasn't the cupcake

so much as the massiveinternal organ damage.

What?

So thealmost-good-part for you

is before he died, the mayor won his election rather handily,

something like 83%of the vote.

But he's dead.Yes.

Yes, he is, which means he'll be hard-pressed to hold office.

Now, the town council wantsto hand-pick our replacement.

Good. Let them.

But--

But?

Lenny spoke to the stateattorney, who confirmed that,

yes, Charlie did win his election,

but he died before itcould be certified,

and they cannot,by law,

certify the winneras someone who is dead,

so the election goesto whoever comes in second.

Milo got hisusual one vote.

You got 32 votes, Mary.

You came in second.

You're the new mayor.

[Gasping]

GREG: Good evening, everyone.

Charles Bloodworth was a good and decent man

who loved Bridgevilleand all its people.

I don't know what they need me here for.

I'm not taking their job.You have to.

There were two other candidateson the ballot with Charlie,

one, Mary Maroni,

who openly admits she hadno desire to run for mayor.

The other, Milo Horn,

has long beena seeker of the office.

What are they doing here?

They're supposed to be in school.

That's what happens when the coach is a teacher.

Civics! Civics class.

A cupcake baker is hardlyqualified to hold this office.

That's ridiculous.

Is it my mom, or the idea of a woman as mayor

that has you shaking in your boots?

She's not evena high school graduate.

Guess she's overqualified, then.

[Laughing]

Thank you, Bart.

Mary has no interest in thisposition, whereas Milo--

Milo Horn, wouldyou please stand?

Milo has a passionfor public office.

Now, I would askboth of our losers--

Um, losing mayoral candidates. --to come on up on stage.

Um...

your shirt's on inside out.

Yep, clean side in.

Oh.

That's really who we want to be mayor?

Mary?

Is it?

I want you.

Now, go up there and accept it.

Do it, Mom.

So, here we are.

A high school dropout, baker, and mom,

who would have no clue how to lead Bridgeville--

Well, I think Imight have a clue.

On the other hand, we have Milo Horn,

a man with a plan.

Isn't that right, Milo?

Mr. Grundle? Mr. Grundle! Sorry.

Sorry to interrupt.

I know there's a lot going on.

This just came up,

and it's something we've gotta deal with.

They had a water main burst over in Shelby.

They're asking if they send two of their water tankers,

can we fill them with water?

And can they tap into our lines for the next 24 hours?

What did Shelbyever do for us

except raise hotel pricesat festival time?

Exactly.

Let's hear it for Milo!

Terrible plan. Boo!

Is that how we treat our neighbours?

Oh, so you think

we should send water over to Shelby?

MARY:What about the children?

What about the senior citizens?

You want your grandmato go without water?

And where is our nearest hospital, huh?

Shelby.

Cousin up thereright now.

GREG: W-well, I think what Milo said before was spot on.

We need to hold on to our water.

Milo did not say anything about water.

Please, lady, stick to your cupcakes.

Uh, excuse me. I need an answer.

Greg, okay.

Okay?

I want to be sworn in.

You what?

Lenny, swear me in.Now-- Now--

A-a-and tellShelby to send

those tankersover right away, okay?

GREG: You can't do that! Okay.

State attorney disagrees, Greg.

Mary's if she wants it. Sounds like she does.

Mary, raise your right hand and repeat after me.

I, Mary, middle name, Maroni--

I, Mary Rose Maroni--

--do solemnly swear to uphold the office of--

--do solemnly swear touphold the office of--

--mayor of Bridgeville.

--mayor of Bridgeville!

[Cheering]

So help me God.

Oh, help me, God.

[Puffing]

[File clicking]Ah!

Washington!

Adams!

Jefferson!

Madison!

Monroe!

♪

[Sighing]

GREG:Uh, mayor...

Greg.

Listen, I know you'renew to all of this,

and I realize how difficultit's gonna be for you,

so I want you to understand

that the position of mayoris more of a figurehead,

so to speak.

Now, Arnie and I,we take care of the details.

Ahem, any advice or assistance

or counsellingyou need,

we're here for you.

You are?Yes.

That's confusing.

Oh, you mean all that stuffthat I said at the meeting.

Well, that was just--

Rude.Politics.

I don't care much for politics, Greg.

I guess you'dbetter start.

Eh, what are those?Donald's Double Chocolate.

Oh, so Donnie boy'sgot his own, huh?

Are they any good?

My favourite.

[Chuckling]

Now, you keep the change.

And remember, just leavethe tough stuff to me,

and I'll be behind youall the way, 100%.

[Bell dinging]

Here you go.

Mary?

Sit down. Let me buy you a cupcake.

You know, in high school, even in college,

people always had high expectations of me.

"Lenny, you're so smart.

You're gonna be rich, a big shot,"

and I bought into that.

And I started traveling down the road

of other people's expectations.

And I was unhappy.

And then I realized what was making me unhappy,

and I started traveling down my own road.

Why are youtelling me this?

You chose the road you're gonna travel,

or the road chooses you.

And, Mary, I haven't been in this town very long,

but I have been in here long enough

to know that you will be a wonderful mayor.

Thank you.

Can I ask you a question?

Does it bother youwhen people call you

"just a country lawyer"? [Chuckling]

I take it as a compliment.

I'm here with people I care about,

people who care about me,

people I can advise and help,

like you, Mary.

So...

cheers.

Another journalist is waiting out there for you, Mary.

I'll be right there.[Phone ringing]

Miles of marvellous motoring! This is Greg Grundle speaking.

Hi, Greg, it's Mary.

Um, I was just talking to the town attorney.

I had some questions for him.

Well, Lenny said that the mayor--

That's me. --has the power to appoint the town council.

Did he?

Yeah, I never thought about it much,

being not political and all.

You and Charlie and Arnie,

controlling the town for so long--

Yeah, well, we're just tryingto do our civic duty.

Little bit of money we makejust a token, really.

Doesn't amount to much.

Then you're not gonna miss it.

You're fired.

Now, you listen to me,you stupid little woman.

♪ Mary, can't you see

♪ Some things were meant to be ♪

♪ Just do the best you can

♪ Someday they'll understand

♪

So, why do you only make little cupcakes?

Can we hurry up? I've gotfour dozen in the oven.

So, tell me...

what's the first thing you want to accomplish?

Oh, I've alreadydone that.

These really are the best.

Mm-hm. Thank you.

[Mary sighing]

I don't even know what to ask for.

Where do I start?

I know one thing.

Numbers never lie.

Get the town chequebook.

Get all the town income statements.

Read 'em both carefully,

and then come back here,

and I'll go over them with you.

Thank you.

How you doing, Albert?

George Bernard Shaw said,

"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world."

So, here I am, being reasonable.

Adapting.

Jimmy could use your help.

You know, assistant manager or something?

I know it's not whatyou're used to, but...

I could really use you over there.

♪

Who's trimming the trees?

Tree trimming company.

Uh, but you'll haveto find a new one.

Mayor sort of stiffedthe last crew.

Ah.Oof.

I love the swirly chocolate ones.

Yeah, yeah, I know. I know.

You want to come inside?Your office awaits.

No, I am not going in there, not ever.

It's just a building.Not to me.

And what if people wantto see their new mayor?

Where do theyfind him--? Her. Her.

Where I always am?

The bakery?

Yeah. I need to look at the books.

Um, you want to take 'em?Yes.

Ho-kay. Um, yeah,I-I guess that's, uh, fine.

You're the man,uh, so to speak.

Thanks.

Oh, do-- You're gonnacome back with those, right?

Yeah, maybe.

There's eight of 'em.

Okay.

Enjoy!

Hey, Albert, can I talk toyou down here for a minute?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure, I have plenty of time.

Plenty of time.

Sorry.

All right, Pete gaveme these ledgers today,

and this is all they have.

And it doesn't make much sense to me.

Could you just look at itfor a minute for me?

Yeah, yeah, sure.Thanks.

What about the chequebook?

I'll get on thatright away.

♪

You're the mayor.Is that true?

Yes.Unbelievable.

Do you see this? Yes.

It's a traffic ticket.

It's the third oneI've gotten this month.

I drive fromWashington, D.C.

to Dewey Beachtwice a week,

and I'm tired of your local-yokel cops

giving me a ticketevery time

I'm five miles overthe speed limit. Okay.

Are you listening to me?Yes, I am.

Are you listening to me?Yes!

This town's a joke.

They only push youaround if you let them.

You heard that? Why didn't you stick up for me?

You're the mayor.

Hi, Quail, what can I get you?

Well, I need a wordwith the mayor.

Oh. I-I'll meet you out there. Jimmy?

Yeah, I'm not a good counter person.

Oh, sure you are. Here.

It's gonna be fine. I'll be back!

Is this the mayor's office?

Yes, it is.Um, have a seat.

Wow.

Now, that's a nice view.

Whoa!

Okay. Can I helpyou with anything?

Oh, oh, yeah.

Well, business has been down.

Now, I asked the other mayor, the dead one,

well, before he came up dead,

if I could put out a bigger sign,

but he said there was restrictions on business signs.

Restrictions?

Yes, ma'am.

Eight square foot is where the tolerance is at.

And what size areyou looking at?

Sixteen.

And you thinkthat would help?

Whoo, yeah, I do.

You might helpyourself, Quail,

if you actually sold people what they wanted to buy.

I don't know.

Oh, I get what you're saying.

I'll just give you that hand planer that you wanted.

You know, I know, 'cause the mayor and Grundle,

they always wanted things, too.

They did?

Oh, yes, ma'am, they did.

I give 'em my two signed guitars last year

after he told me about the street store limit.

The what? The store limit?

Well, yes, ma'am.

There's only so many stores allowed

to set up on Main Street.

[Sighing]

Quail.

I will buy thatantique plane from you,

but only if you're willingto sell it to me, not give it.

If you want a bigger sign, go ahead and do it.

There's all kinds of bigsigns on Main Street.

Yeah!

Well, thank you, Mayor Mary.

All right, if you want coffee,you gotta go back to your booth.

Okay.

Hey, Pete, thanks.

Um, I usually make out the cheques.

I know.

All the stubs here?

Last three years' worth of cheques.

Have a seat.

Oh, sure.

So, Pete, what is itexactly that you do,

besides writing cheques?

Um, lots of filing, processing of applications,

licenses, fee collection,

Merchants' Association dues, and the like.

Huh.

And a store limit or zoning limit on Main Street,

i-is there any?

Store limit, what do you mean?

All Main Street's zoned commercial.

There's no store limit.

Really?

The Merchants' Association,

anyone in particularin charge of that?

Oh, yeah, uh,Councilman Grundle

till you canned him.

Huh.

Pete, I gotta go.

Thanks.Yeah.

[Sighing]

♪

Whoa! Yes!

♪ Have you seen the cupcake lady ♪

♪ The cupcake man ♪ Man!

♪ The cupcake

♪ Lady ♪ Man

[Laughing]

Hey, Mom,

how come Daddy never plays his harmonica

where we can see him?

He's just practicing,like you with your kicks.

And when he's ready for us to hear him and see him,

he'll come outof the bathroom.

Is that the same as coming out of the closet?

No, it's not the same.

Hey.

Hey.

I only had to go upto Van Buren.

Oh, what happened?

An enthusiastic chisel.

Oh.

What number is he?

Eight. Oh!

That's really good.

Keeps getting lower.

Very proud of you.

Town is broke.

Broke?We owe money.

What are you gonna do?

What am I gonna do?You're the mayor.

I don't--

Hey, are you sure youdon't wanna come with me?

Oh, honey, no, I can't.

I'm trying to match this all up.

Okay.

Good one.

["Don't You Forget About Me" playing]

♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

Thank you. That's mydaughter up there.

♪ Won't you come see about me ♪

♪ I'll be alone

♪ Dancing, you know it, baby ♪

♪ Tell me your troubles and doubts ♪

♪ Giving me everything

♪ Inside and out

♪ Love's strange

♪ So real in the dark

Think of the tender things

♪ That we were working on ♪

♪ Slow change may pull us apart ♪

♪ When the light gets into your heart, baby ♪

♪ Don't you forget about me ♪

♪ Don't, don't, don't, don't

♪ Don't you forget about me ♪

♪ Will you stand above me?

♪ Look my way and never love me? ♪

♪ Rain keeps falling

♪ Rain keeps falling down, down ♪

♪ Don't you try to pretend ♪

♪ It's my feeling that we will win ♪

♪ I won't harm you

♪ Or touch your defences

♪ Vanity, insecurity, oh

♪ Don't you forget about me ♪

[Harmonica playing]

How's it coming?

Not so good.

Should I be worried about my job?

Not yet.

Oh! Thank youfor my sign.

You're welcome.

It's okay?

I'm only using itbecause you made it.

Like your ring.

This old thing?

Wanna have sex?

[Birds chirping]

What happened in there

that the mayor hates the place so much?

Seems weird having

this perfectly good building and not doing--

Pete, when she wasa little girl,

Mary's mother ran offto find herself,

so her grandmothertook her in.

She was a working woman,

you know, cleaningother people's houses.

She did what she could to raise Mary right.

Tried to get hereverything she needed,

but she diedhow she lived,

poor.

And they were too poor togive her a proper burial,

so they stuck her down in Pauper's Field.

So, 20 years ago,Mary goes into this building

and she asks if she can put up a small tombstone

with hergrandmother's name on it

so that people would know that she had lived,

that she was a regular person,

just like allthe people buried

in the regular cemetery.

And they told her no.

That if they said yes to her,

they gotta say yesto everybody who asks,

and they are not inthe memories business.

That's what they told her,

"the memories business."

Wow.

Help me put this thingup, will you?

Happy to.

Keep your end up.All right.

♪

BART: I don't want to rockyour domestic boat, as it were,

but let me tell you something.

I have an idea.

Now, just suppose that someone was to stand upstream

of that speed trap with a sign--

Mm-hm.

--saying "Hey, there's a speed trap.

Now, you slow your gas down, or you're gonna get a ticket."

Okay.All right.

Now, them people, instead of getting a ticket for $35

and saying, "To hell with this town.

I ain't ever coming back here again," they say,

"This is a pretty interesting town.

"They even tell you where their speed traps are.

"You know, let's take a look over here.

"Let's come into Jimmy's.

"Let's stop at Quail's store, and we'll spend a little bit.

We'll spend a little time," you know?

Now, we get the income from those sales,

and that goes into the general fund.

Do you know where the speed trap money goes?

No, I don't.

That goes into a special fund, you understand what I'm saying?

That only certain people control.

You make a note of that.

[Sighing]

♪

[Insects buzzing]

Here she comes.

Hello!Hey.

Hey, Mom.Hey, Mom.

Hey.

I'm so sorry I'm late.

I got hung up at work.

Which work, mayor or cupcake?

Mayor.

Is everything okay?

Not exactly.

Wow! Who made dinner?

DONALD:Lana.

Do you like it?Mm-hm. It's good.

All right, you guys can go.

Thanks, Mom.Thanks.

Anita?

Thanks for dinner.Yup.

Good night, guys.

Be home by 12:00.

It's just rehearsal.

So, what wentwrong today?

♪ I can't make you happy

♪ I can't make you happy

♪ I can't make you happy

♪ Yes, I can

DONALD: That's ridiculous.MARY: What? What?

He's making a laughingstockof this town is what he's doing.

What Bart'sdoing out there

might just helpBridgeville in the long run.

What, you want cars flying by here willy-nilly

on the way to God-knows-where without slowing down?

They'll slow down'cause Bart's out there

warning them it'll cost them if they don't,

and maybe they'llstop and shop,

and that'll add a lot ofmoney to the local economy.

Local economy?

Look, do you realize how much money

those speeding tickets added to our coffers?

No, but I bet you do.

Damn right I do.

Wait, what's that supposed to mean?

I've been lookingin these ledgers,

and I see a lot of moneygoing back to you, Arnie,

and to Greg, and tothe late Mayor Bloodworth.

Well, you got it all figured out, don't you?

No!

That's right, sweetheart,

you don't, not by a long shot.

GREG: What is Mary's weak spot?

ARNIE:Never seen her takea drink or cuss.

She doesn't gossip, bitch,or moan like normal women.

She just worksand runs her family

like some kind ofsaint or something.

Well, every saint has its chink.

You mean knight.Every knight has a chink.

You know, armour and all?

Whatever, Arnie. Jesus.

We're conspiring here, not teaching American history.

[Sighing]

Mary!

I, uh, hey. I just got to Jimmy's.

He said you left early.Yeah.

Do you mind if I walk with you a little bit?

No.

Um, hey, I just--

I need to know: what do you want me to do now?

Well, what haveyou been doing, Pete?

I've barely been there three years.

I've never done anything wrong.

I never stole. I never took from the town.

I just did my work; took my paycheque--

And looked the other way.

[Sighing]

Not because I wanted to.

Report to Jimmy's, 7:00 a.m.sharp every day.

7:00. Why so early?

An hour and a halfafter I get there.

And bring whateveryou need.

If you can help me getthis town out of hock,

you can keep your job.

I don't believein firing people.

Yes, ma'am. Thank you.

Ma'am?

TV ANNOUNCER: Is gonna be good!

Yes! Did you see that?

Fifty-five yards in OT!

That's a pressure kick.Mm-hm.

Man.

Nothing you couldn't do.

[Sighing]

[TV switching off]

Get ready for the pitch!

MARY: Do you know what the fuel costs

for the police cruisers were last year?

Well, it was good that you took us off the speed trap.

Saved gas there.

Most guys left their engines running.

Not me.

The PTA wants to meet with me.

Fun!And the Merchants' Association

and the Rotaryand the Women's Club.

Let me show you something.

Right now?Just two minutes.

Ah, can we do itlater, honey?

Okay.Please, I just--

["Don't You Forget About Me" playing]

Hey, could you turnit down, please?

Okay.

♪ Whoa

LENNY:This list of items we discussed,

they're all within your authority as mayor.

You've got the green light.

That's great.

Pete?

Excuse me, mayor.

Uh, yeah?

You really wantto do all this?

For starters.

People in this townare gonna flip out.

Not if it works.

Look, we can sit around and complain,

or we can fix it.

How many businesses have gone under in the past two years?

Ah, five or ten.

Well, what happened to the workers?

Well, some gotother jobs,

but most went onunemployment or moved out.

Will these things save the town of Bridgeville money?

Yeah, I'll say.

If we can just get out of debt,

people will have confidence again.

Businesses will come back.

We can fix up the parks,

maybe even take out ads for the Apple Scrapple

and Punkin' Chunkin' contests.

You know, bring in some more business.

Get this town back on its feet.

Okay.

Ms. Mayor, what about my office?

Well, that booth's open.

Ooh, I like that.

Yeah, hi, this is Pete downat Mayor Maroni's office.

How many street lightsdid you tell them

to turn off,Mayor Mary?

Every other one.

Won't it be too dark, Mom?

It might make it more romantic.

DONALD: You want us to do what!?

Are you gonna start counting presidents on me, Donald?

That's funny.

I'm not mad.

I'm just-- What?

Dumbfounded!I'm leaving you one cruiser

for emergenciesand bad weather.

Criminals aren't gonna know that?

The guys aren't gonna go for it.

[Toothbrush scraping]

You can talk 'em into it, honey.

WOMAN: Nice ride.

MAN: Don't let it get you down, Donny boy!

Yeah!

Washington.

Adams.

Jefferson.

Madison.

Monroe.

Adams.

Jackson.

Harrison.

"Just go to the bike."

♪

[Scoffing]

She's just plain crazy.

What's next?

♪ Part of where I'm going

♪ Is knowing where I'm coming from ♪

♪ I don't wanna be anything

♪ Other than what I've been trying to be lately ♪

♪ All I have to do is think of me ♪

♪ And have peace of mind

♪ I'm tired of looking 'round

MARY: Cut that-- That one down.

Coach is pretty nimble, huh, for a man his age?

He's younger than we are.

♪ I don't wanna be anything other than... ♪

All right, um, justcut that-- That one down.

Hon, I don't think this is a good idea.

Yeah, one lessbill to pay.

Yeah, that one! Quail, give him the saw.

Hey, you know, Quail,

I really like this old hacksaw.

How much is this going for?

Oh...

well, I'm not sure if that one's for sale, Don.

Hey, hey, hey!

He's really nimble!

Don't laugh. Next tree's yours.

♪ I can't be the only one who's learned ♪

♪ I don't want to be anything

♪ Other than what I've been trying to be lately ♪

♪ All I have to do is think of me ♪

♪ And have peace of mind Hey, Mary.

Hey, you should jump on the town website.

Your mayor mail is piling up.

Okay.

You can check it from home.

So, Pete, how much doyou think we could get

on this Craigslist thing

for a couple of gas-guzzlingpolice cruisers?

Oh, you'd be surprised, yeah.

People love police cars.

How about somebroken-down garbage trucks?

Eh, you can do all right.

What about a Cadillac XLR?Cadillac?

Made out to Greg Grundle?

[Sighing]

City bought itthree years ago.

That's two months before I started.

What do you think, 30 grand?

Absolutely. Hell yes.

♪ I'm tired of looking 'round rooms ♪

♪ Wondering what I gotta do

♪ Or who I'm supposed to be ♪

Hey, that's my car! Don't take my car!

♪ Hey, hey, hey

♪ I don't wanna be

♪ Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

Here you go, honey.

No, thanks, I'd rather have pimples.

They're not pimples. They'reblemishes, and this'll help.

Mom, what is that made out of?

A little baking soda,water, egg whites.

Cupcake batter?

No, you use baking powderin cupcake batter.

Just try it. A little dab.

Uh-uh. Where did you find that?

My grandma.

She made me put it on.

It works. A dab.

[Cutlery clicking]

Would you help me withmy mayor e-mail, please?

Absolutely. Sure. Okay.

We'll set you up a little Googlesite, stick you on MySpace,

Facebook, get you Tweeting.

[Gasping]

Look at all that mail.

Wow.

You used a computer, man.

♪ How does it feel

♪ Knowing that you're winning out? ♪

♪ Go ahead and scream and shout ♪

♪ Oh oh, scream and shout

♪ How does it feel

♪ Knowing that without a hand ♪

♪ You're able, able to stand? ♪

♪ Oh, oh

♪ And maybe you can

You workingon something?

Yeah, it's a new song.

We missed you at dinner tonight.

Oh, I had a run-inat Sanitation.

It seems that they're not sohappy about having to be...

groundskeepers.

I'm sorry, Mom. That sucks.

Did you write that?

Yeah.

Night, baby.

Night, Mom.

♪

[Humming]

♪ I don't want to be anything other

♪ Than what I've been, baby, lately ♪

♪ I just want to...

Hi.Hi.

Yeah, I like your song.

Thank you.Yeah, thank you.

But the lyric, uh, is, "Trying to be lately."

Yeah?

No, it's "baby," actually.

Yeah. "Baby."

Maybe you're right. Yeah, sorry.

Enjoy your cupcake.

Thank you, yeah. They look great. Thanks.

Need some coffee?Sure. Please.

You know that's Gavin DeGraw?

He's the singer of that song.

♪ Baby lately

I like it. "Baby's" nice.

That was your mayor, right?

Yeah.

I thought, yeah. She's very nice.

Here you go, Pete.Oh, thanks.

Boy, you really upset some people.

You want me to e-mail them back,

and tell them we're making progress?

No, I shouldtalk to them.

PETE: You really wanna do that?

No.

Yes.

Wow, look at that.The Women's Club, the Rotary.

[Gasping]

Look what thatGreg Grundle said.

Yeah.

How am I gonna have timeto talk to all these people

and get everything else done?

Why don't you have them all come to see you?

Kind of like a town shareholders' meeting.

Set it up. They'll show up.

Get 'em some scrapple burgers. They'll love it.

Okay.

I'll set it up.

TOMMY:The condition of thesejerseys is outrageous.

I understand.I got numbers peeling away.

I will call you. I promise.

You'll call me about what?Mayor?

Mayor, I need to talk to you.

Oh, you know what?Mayor, why do you hate men?

Uh, I don't, actually.

You hate me. You hate Bart.No, no, no.

You hate Greg.

You hate Grundle Motors.No, I don't.

You keep giving us tickets.

It's not snowing, and you need to pay your tickets.

All right. I understand.

You rock, Mom.

I hear you make a pretty mean cupcake, mayor.

Uh, yeah, I make a lot of mean cupcakes,

and some nice ones, too, actually.

Well, maybe I'll have to check that out.

So, take us through this.

You got elected mayor of Bridgeville

and set up your office there at the grill and bakery?

Yeah, that's pretty much it.

Is it true you closed down town hall?

Yeah, trying to cut costs.

Um, Donald-- That's my husband.--and Pete, they boarded it up.

Where do all the town hall people go?

Oh, they're pretty much here.

Let me show ya.

Come here.

Um, this here,

this is my office.

Hi, Donald.

Um, over here is Pete, the town clerk.

Uh, we got Mike in Parks and Recreation.

Um, Utilities Commission, License and Permits.

Okay, and here's Lenny, our town attorney.

Well, looks like you've got everything

right there where you need it.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's great.

Thanks to-- Jimmy! Jimmy!

Here's Jimmy. This is his place.

He's been very patient. Thank you.

Over the past several months, Mayor Maroni,

you've made a lot of changes that have people talking.

Yeah, that's right.

GRETA: Let's see.

You've turned off street lights,cancelled trash pickup,

sold three police cruisers,

shut off water every other day for three hours,

cut town employees' pay by 25%.

How's it all working out?

Well, we were in a pretty deep hole, Greta,

and now we're climbing out, but there's--

There's still a lot more to do.

What are you trying toaccomplish there in Bridgeville?

Tell us, Mayor Maroni. Then we'll let you go.

I don't know. We're just trying to do right

for the people in this great town.

I swear I didn't know it was ill-gotten.

I believe you.

You do? No.

See you later, Britney.

Tell that scrawny wife of yours to stuff it!

♪

Don't worry. She'll get what's coming to her.

When, Greg?

Would it help if Uncle Greg came over for a visit?

That'd be nice. Right now?

Tonight.

I gotta take the wife to her Women's Club meeting

and, Greg Jr. to karate,

but I'll swing by right after.

Okay.

See ya.

[Phone beeping]

♪

Take this down, Quail.

Thank you.

Bobby D.? Hey.

What have we got here?

Oh!

Uh, Pete, do you know what to do with this?

Haven't a clue. Could you come back tomorrow and...

w-we'll talk about it?

Okay. Thank you.

MARY: Next. Oh!

You brought me cupcakes? Thank you.

Oh, yeah, I think this is perfect,

but if it's not just--

Just call Pete, 'cause I, uh...

Thank you.

Thanks for the cupcakes.

Come on, Jimmy.

♪

Yes!

[Harmonica playing]

♪

I tell ya: I really dread this meeting tomorrow.

You said the same thing about the TV interview,

and that turned out great.

Okay.

Any last words of advice?

Be yourself. Tell the truth.

Can't go wrong with that.

I made a chart for you. Bunch of bullet points and stuff.

Oh.

[Whispering]

MAN: Hey, Pete, uh, could I ask you a question, please?

I got a question about...

[All chattering]

PETE: Okay, okay, okay, okay.

I know you all have questions and comments for our mayor.

You mean TV star?

[Sighing]

Mayor Maroni?

[Applause]

[Cheering]

Okay, I know that some of you, um--

Excuse me, can youspeak up, please?

Bridgeville is my home, my family's home.

My own grandma was born and buried here.

I love it. I never want to live anywhere else.

Look, I know all of these cutbacks

have been hard on all of us,

but we're making progress.

We've almost repaid all of our loans,

and we're moving up.

Like-- Like this good man over here.

You all know him.MAN: You know him.

That's Albert. Works at Jimmy's.

But, um, Albert used to run hisown bank down on Highway 1.

Did a lot of good.

Put folks to work.

Gave to charity.

And then some people got in his way,

telling him who to lend to and what rates to set.

And before he knew it,

well, he lost everything.

And my point is Albert's doing whatever he has to to get by.

And that's what Bridgeville is doing, getting by!

[Sighing]

We're gonna do better,

but we can't count on anyone else to help.

It's up to us.

Us or you?

Us!

I need your help.

That's why we're here.

How long we haveto keep taking trash

to the fillplace ourselves?

Until we can afford goodtrucks to put back on the road.

No one likes garbage, Britney. I know.

You made these cuts already,

and there's talk that you're gonna cut sports

from the high school.Oh, no.

That one's not me.

That's the county school board,

but it seems to me that if the parents get together

and mend the uniforms,

put on homemade concessions, drive to faraway games,

we could get rid of the school bus

and maybe head that one off.

[Applause]

If you want to save money,

why don't we cut your salary in half, mayor?

How about that?

All right, I could do that, Arnie,

but, uh, I'm not taking a salary.

Now, I never finished high school,

but it seems to me that half of zero is still zero.

I graduated high school. I graduated.

Now, wait. Wait, everyone.

Listen to me. Listen up.

Now, we've all gotto ask ourselves:

is this reallythe type of woman that we want

running our fine town? Washington, Adams,

Jefferson, Madison...

Our values here in Bridgeville are important to us,

and we all know

that she didn't finish high school, okay, but why?

She didn't just drop out because she wasn't smart.

She got herself pregnant.

Now, is that an example for our young ones?

Clinton, Bush, Obama.

Come on.

He's a cop.

He's not gonna hit me.

I mean, can't we all just get along?

DONALD:Continue.

Yeah, Dad!Yeah, Dad!

[Sighing]

You're a hard woman to get a hold of, Mrs. Maroni!

Hi! You're up early.I'm on my way to work.

You mind if we walk and talk on camera?

Yeah, if you cankeep up with me.

Well, they call you Mayor Cupcake.

Now, the implication of the word "cupcake":

it's a euphemism for somethingor someone being soft, too soft.

Doesn't that bother you?

Nothing aboutcupcakes bothers me.

I make 'em,and people like 'em.

You know, I have never, ever, met a person

who wasn't in a better mood eating a cupcake,

except for Bart, you know,who's always in a bad mood.

Okay! So, can we get yourside of the scuffle?

I don't really have a side.

I was just trying to answer some questions,

get some feedback.

Well, we spoke to former towncouncil chair Greg Grundle.

Now, he alleges yourhusband attacked him.

Is that true?

Yes, it's true.

And that doesn't bother you?

No. He landeda good shot.

If he hadn't,then that would bother me.

Gotta go.Thanks.

She did not just say that, did she?

♪

Hey, Jimmy.

Hey.

Everything okay, Jimmy?

Not really.

Oh. I'm sorry.

You're upset that I'm lateand you had to make the coffee.

No, that's not it.

You're sick of working behind the counter.

I know how much you hate that.

Yeah, well, I'm getting better on that front, so, no.

You're sorry you ever let meset up town hall out here,

making a mess of thingsand disrupting business.

[Grunting]

All right, well, then, what is it?

It's the cupcakes, Mary.

The cupcakes?

Cupcakes aren't as good.

They're not as perfect.

Uh, sizes are off.

They're not asmoist or fluffy.

One customer saidhis were gritty.

Gritty?Yep.

Gritty, all right.

Now, I know you got a loton your plate right now--

Yes, and I think I'm making a lot of changes around here,

and I'm doing things that I never dreamed I was capable of.

Some people are upset about it,

but, yes, I have a lot on my plate.

Here she comes.

REPORTER Well, we spoke to former town council chair Greg Grundle.

Now, he alleges your husband attacked him.

Is that true?

Yes, it's true.

And that doesn't bother you?

No. He landed a good shot.

If he hadn't, then that would bother me.

That, my friend, is a chink!

[Laughing]

Ow! I'm sorry.

That's okay.

Oh, Mary, did you still wantthat antique planer tool

for Donald's birthday?

It's okay if not, but--

I mean, you're trimmingit a shade close if you do.

Oh.

♪

I bet you didn't thinkI could sell it, huh?

Didn't have it in me?

If I've been rude or distant or uncaring in any way, I--

You're my friend, and friends shouldn't--

Oh, I know. I--

I understand.

You've been busy withall the town stuff.

It's tough on you.

Go on now.

Friend.

♪

Thanks.

♪

There you are.

I need to talk to you.

Make an appointment.

Lady, you were on TV sayinghow your husband attacked me.

Now, he can't just go around beating up just anybody.

You're not.

Not what?

Anybody.

I'm going to press charges.

I'm going to have Donald arrested, prosecuted,

and kicked off the force.

and then I'm gonna file a civil suit,

And I'll win, thanks to your TV testimony, Mayor Cupcake.

Why are youtelling me this?

Just being neighbourly.

All right. What do you want?

Funny you should ask.

Happy birthday, Dad.TANYA: Happy birthday.

Thank you very much.Thank you, sweetheart.

Love you!Love you too.

You hardly ate any cake, Mom.

Yeah. I'll try todo better next time.

Oh, guess what?

I'm ready for a holder!

Oh, there's onein the kitchen,

and the napkins arein the pantry.

No, I mean, for my kick, for--

Yeah, it's okay.

I'll talk to her about it.

But that's good news, really good news.

DONALD: Hey.

Whatever you're worried about,

we'll figure it out.

I almost forgotyour birthday.

But you didn't.

It's not right.

What?Things.

What things?

Greg Grundle wants meto call a town meeting,

appoint a vice mayor, and then quit.

Oh, and then the vice mayor becomes the "mayor" mayor?

Until the next election.

And Grundle wants to be the vice mayor.

Yeah, that's a perfect name for him.

No, not Greg. Milo.

I really love my gift.

It's a little "plain."

How did you get Quail to part with it?

♪

♪ You don't let me in

♪ Oh, what have I done?

♪ I don't know where I'm from ♪

♪ But I know where I belong

♪ You won't let me stay...

Donald?

Is it morning yet?

No.

Did I dream it, or did you play your harmonica for me?

When?

Last week.

No.

You were standing right over there.

You played your harmonica, and I didn't even notice.

♪

[Cheering, applause]

If you want to see us again, tell the boss man.

So, guess what.

My mom just got elected mayor of Bridgeville.

[Booing]

No, no, no! Hey, hey.

It's dope. It's what we needed.

So, uh, this one's for Mom.

["Don't You Forget About Me" playing]

♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh

♪ Whoa

REPORTER: Well, we spoke to former town council chair Greg Grundle.

Now, he alleges your husband attacked him.

Is that true?

Yes, it's true.

You really are quite photogenic.

MARY: No. He landed a good shot.

So, what's the good word?

I'll do it.

I'll appoint a vice mayor,and I will quit.

Now, who said you weren't smart?

You did!Oh, that's right.

But admit it: you're gonna be happy

to see things go back to the way they were.

I will be.Good deal, then.

I want to askyou one thing.

And what's that?

Well, you and Charlie and Arniehave been stealing money

from the people ofBridgeville for so long:

doesn't it bother you a little bit?

It doesn't bother me.

And you want to know why?

Because the people in this town are a bunch of idiots.

If you don't reach down and snatch things from them,

well, they just might hurt themselves.

So that's what we did.

We took things. So what?

Who cares?

Screw every last one of them.

[Sighing]

Whoa, whoa. Uh, Mary?

Would you work a little harder on those cupcakes?

The last batch was a little--

I don't know. --gritty.

Hi.

Good afternoon, everyone.

I want to start out with the good news.

We've paid back all of our outstanding bills

and, um, ordered a new garbage truck.

We even have a little bit left over

for a down payment on a new cruiser.

[Applause]

Good work, everybody!

Now, some people, um, actually one of you,

has advised me to appoint a vice mayor.

Now, Lenny here tells me that I have the power to do this

as the mayor, so I'm--

That's what I'm gonna do.

Milo, would you please come up here?

[Faint applause]

You look good.

Thanks. So do you.

Um, I just wanted to say that I don't think

that Milo would do anything wrong on his own.

He's a good man.

Thank you, Milo. You can sit.

Good job, Milo.

I'm warning you.

I'm warning you.

I'd like to present our new vice mayor.

♪

Thank you, mayor.

Albert's been my advisor since day one.

Lenny, would you do the honours and swear him in?

LENNY: I, Albert, middle name, Peach--

I, Albert Doville Peach--

--do solemnly swear to uphold

--the office of vice mayor of Bridgeville.

--do solemnly swear to uphold

--the office of vice mayorof Bridgeville.

So help me God!

So help me God.

So help me God, I want Donald Maroni arrested

for attempted murder!

[Shouting indistinctly]

Gil! What do you get paid for?

Take him away!

I war-- I warned you.

I think you all might be interested in this.

MARY: You and Charlie and Arnie,

stealing from the people of Bridgeville for so long:

didn't it bother you?

GREG: No. Didn't bother me,

because the people in this town are a bunch of idiots.

If you don't reach down and snatch things from them,

well, they just might hurt themselves.

So that's what we did. We took things.

So what? Who cares?

Screw every last one of them.

Mary, would you work a little harder on those cupcakes?

The last batch was a little--

I don't know. --gritty.

♪

You really need help now, Grundle!

Uh, honey?

She can't tape me talkingwithout my permission.

So you admit that that was you?

Um, don't I have theright to remain silent?

You have the right to remember that if you utter

another disparaging remark

about either my wife or my girls,

I will personally rip the lips off your face.

Do you understand?

Good.

Some friends are here to see you.

Would any of you like to join him, hm?

Honey?

Carry on, mayor.

Well...

now I think we all know where

some of our hard-earned money went.

[Applause]

Whoo!

♪

♪ Mary, Mary

♪ Working every day

♪ In a sleepy little town

♪ Mary, Mary

♪ Far from ordinary

♪ You could turn this place around ♪

♪ They call you over

♪ Call you out

♪ You're the one

♪ They're talking about

♪ Mary, can't you see

♪ Some things were meant to be? ♪

♪ Just do the best you can

♪ Someday they'll understand

♪

[Phone ringing]

I'll get it.No, no, no, honey.

We're eating. We're eating.

You haven't served, sotechnically we're not eating.

Hello? Hi, Mary.

Mom, Mom, you gottaget this one.

Hello?

Things must be getting pretty exciting

down there in Bridgeville.

I'd like to get a quote.

About what?

Don't tell me you haven't heard.

[Scoffing]

Okay, bye.

Who was it?

Dad, it was Greta VanSusteren from TV again.

About what?

About someoneputting my name in

to run for governor.

and me being a front-runner in early national polls.

Wasn't me.

No, I know better.

People need someone like you, hon.

I say we just eatlike a family and,

um, don't rushinto anything.

You know, 17 presidents weregovernors first, right, Dad?

That's right.

And four out of the last six.

How does she know that?

It's only four years.

PRESIDENT: Uh, Jim, did we hear back from her yet?

JIM: Yes, Mr. President.

She passed.She passed?

It's an important position in this administration.

Why would she pass?

She said thank you,

but she wants to stay right where she is.

What's so important over in Delaware?

What does she do, exactly?

She's a cupcake maker, sir.

A cupcake maker?

I like cupcakes.

My girls love cupcakes.

Well, everybody likes cupcakes.

Cupcakes.

♪ Mary, Mary

♪ Mary, Mary

♪ Mary, Mary

♪ Mary, Mary

♪ You can't go anymore

♪ There's a fine line drawn on the door ♪

♪ There's a sad song stuck in your head ♪

♪ And some memories under your bed ♪

♪ Now, I know I've gotta be strong ♪

♪ As the days keep dragging along ♪

♪ All my thoughts get carried away ♪

♪ Till I'm left with nothing to say ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm waiting

♪ For an elevator

♪ That can take me

♪ Anywhere

♪ But here

♪ There's a hazy look in your eyes ♪

♪ It's as if you wore a disguise ♪

♪ Circumstance beyond my control ♪

♪ But I just don't wanna let go ♪

♪ Did I hear you calling my name?

♪ All the words keep sounding the same ♪

♪ Calling out to everyone

♪ It's the last day under the sun ♪

♪ As I'm waiting

♪ For an elevator

♪ That can take me

♪ Anywhere

♪ But here

♪

["I Don't Wanna Be" playing]

♪

♪ I don't wanna be anything

♪ Other than what I've been trying to be lately ♪

♪ All I have to do is think of me ♪

♪ And have peace of mind

♪ I came from the mountain ♪

♪ The crust of creation

♪ My whole situation's made from clay, dust, stone ♪

♪ And now I'm telling everybody ♪

♪ I don't wanna be anything

♪ Other than what I've been trying to be lately ♪

♪ All I have to do is think of me ♪

♪ And have peace of mind

♪ I'm tired of looking 'round rooms ♪

♪ wondering what I gotta do

♪ Or who I'm supposed to be

♪ I don't wanna be anything

♪ Other than me

♪ I don't wanna be

♪ Hey, yeah Hey, yeah ♪

♪ I don't wanna be

♪ Oh, oh

♪ I don't wanna be

♪ I don't wanna be anything

♪ Anything other than me

♪ I don't wanna be

♪ Hey, yeah, yeah

♪ Hey, yeah, yeah I don't wanna be ♪

♪ Hey, yeah, yeah

♪ Hey, yeah...