Original subtitles

PREVIOUSLY ON...

LYNETTE FOUGHT TO SAVE HER MARRIAGE.

I COULD SEE IT IN HIS EYES. TOM STILL LOVES ME.

CARLOS DECIDED TO CHANGE CAREERS.

MAYBE COUNSELING.

IN ONE WEEK, A COUNSELOR DOES MORE GOOD

THAN I'VE DONE IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

GOOD NEWS...

WE'RE GETTING MARRIED. OH!

CAME WITH BAD NEWS.

IN THE MIDDLE OF HIS PROPOSAL,

THE COPS COME BY TO ASK ABOUT SOME DEAD BODY

THEY FOUND AT THE CONSTRUCTION SITE.

SO TELL ME MORE.

I TOLD 'EM THAT I DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT IT,

AND THE POLICE DON'T SEEM LIKE THEY'RE GONNA POSE A PROBLEM.

BUT IT BECAME A PROBLEM FOR BREE...

WE'RE JUST MAKING SMALL TALK WAITING FOR HER LAWYER.

SMALL TALK'S OVER. SO SHE GOT THE PERFECT LAWYER.

LET'S GO. YOU DON'T NEED HIS PERMISSION.

YOU WANNA TALK TO HER, YOU TALK TO ME FIRST.

(Mary Alice) WHEN IT CAME TO HER DIVORCE,

LYNETTE SCAVO WAS DETERMINED TO MAKE THINGS GO SMOOTHLY.

SO WHEN TOM WAS LATE TO PICK UP THE KIDS,

SHE WAITED PATIENTLY.

WHEN HE GOT SOMETHING IN THE MAIL, SHE HELD ON TO IT.

AND WHEN HE LEFT BEHIND SOMETHING IMPORTANT,

SHE BROUGHT IT TO HIM.

YES, AFTER YEARS OF FIGHTING HAD LED HER NOWHERE,

LYNETTE DECIDED TO TAKE THE HIGH ROAD.

LYNETTE? OH! HEY, GREGG.

HEY. COMING BY TO SEE THE NEW OFFICES? (chuckles)

I BET I COULD GET THE C.E.O. TO GIVE YOU A PRIVATE TOUR.

WAIT A SECOND. I AM THE C.E.O. I KNOW I COULD.

(laughs) NO, THANKS.

I'M JUST DROPPING SOMETHING OFF THAT TOM FORGOT AT HOME.

OH, WOW.

MY EX WOULDN'T BRING ANYTHING BY FOR ME UNLESS IT WAS TICKING.

OH.

SO... HOW'S EVERYTHING GOING WITH YOUR SEPARATION?

I'M GUESSING YOU KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT,

HAVING BEEN THERE. YEAH, IT'S BEEN TWO YEARS SINCE MY DIVORCE, AND IT STILL SUCKS.

AH.

YOU KNOW, IT MIGHT NOT BE MY PLACE TO SAY IT,

BUT I THINK TOM'S NUTS FOR LETTING YOU GO.

THAT'S VERY SWEET.

SO ARE YOU SEEING ANYONE?

THAT'S... A LITTLE NOSEY.

SORRY. I-I'M JUST SAYING, IF YOU EVER WANTED

TO HAVE A DRINK AND VENT WITH SOMEBODY WHO GETS IT,

I WOULD GLADLY BE THAT PERSON. OKAY.

SWEET AGAIN, BUT I THINK THAT MIGHT BE A LITTLE WEIRD

WITH YOU BEING TOM'S BOSS.

YEAH, I GET THAT.

I JUST WOULDN'T FORGIVE MYSELF IF I DIDN'T ASK.

BUT NEVER WORRY IF YOU'RE GONNA BE OKAY, LYNETTE.

YOU WILL. YOU ARE THE EXACT KIND OF WOMAN

THAT MOST MEN OUT THERE ARE LOOKING FOR.

(clicks teeth)

WELL, THANKS. I-I ALWAYS LIKED THIS PICTURE OF US.

YOU'RE WELCOME. (chuckles)

OH, HEY, I'M OFF ON FRIDAY,

SO WE CAN LEAVE EARLY FOR THE CABIN.

UH, BAD NEWS. UH, I CHECKED THE WEATHER UP THERE.

IT LOOKS LIKE RAIN FOR THIS WEEKEND.

SO? I WASN'T SEEING US SPENDING A LOT OF TIME OUTDOORS.

(laughs)

I THINK WE HAVE A LITTLE...

"HORIZONTAL" TO CATCH UP ON.

IT'S KIND OF BEEN A WHILE, HASN'T IT?

WELL, I GUESS, WITH, UH, WORK AND EVERYTHING.

A CABIN, THE RAIN...

A BED.

IT'S GONNA BE A GOOD WEEKEND.

YES, LYNETTE HAD TRIED HARD

TO TAKE THE HIGH ROAD IN HER DIVORCE...

HEY, GREGG.

THAT DRINK-- I'D ACTUALLY ENJOY THAT.

BUT SOMETIMES, THE LOW ROAD WAS EASIER TO FIND.

CARLOS SOLIS WAS USED TO SITTING IN A POSITION OF POWER,

WHETHER IT WAS BEHIND THE WHEEL OF A POWERFUL CAR... (starts engine)

AT THE HEAD OF A POWER LUNCH...

OR AT THE HELM OF A POWERFUL COMPANY.

BUT NOW THAT CARLOS SOLIS HAD STARTED A NEW CAREER,

HE SUDDENLY FOUND HIMSELF IN A MUCH HUMBLER PLACE.

SO... WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MY NEW OFFICE?

OKAY, I'LL ADMIT IT'S A LITTLE BIT ON THE BARE BONES SIDE--

ARE YOU KIDDING?

ALL YOU NEED IS SOME YELLOW TAPE

AND A NOOSE HANGING FROM THE CEILING,

AND YOU'LL BE READY TO ENTERTAIN.

I LIKE IT, DADDY.

THANK YOU, BABY.

AW, THAT'S SO SWEET.

YOU'RE LYING TO SPARE YOUR DADDY'S FEELINGS.

SERIOUSLY, HONEY, THERE'S A GUY DOWN AT THE DEPARTMENT STORE

WHO DRESSES ALL THE WINDOWS. MAYBE HE COULD SPRUCE IT UP.

"SPRUCE IT UP"?

GABY, WE CAN BARELY KEEP THE LIGHTS ON HERE.

OUR BUDGET IS TINY, AND EVERY CENT GOES TOWARDS

HELPING ADDICTS, FINDING THEM JOBS, HOUSING...

OKAY, OKAY. SAVE IT FOR THE PAMPHLET.

ALL I'M SAYING IS, IF I WAS AN ADDICT,

ROOMS LIKE THIS ARE WHY I SHOOT UP IN THE FIRST PLACE.

OKAY, BEHAVE. LISTEN TO YOUR DADDY.

(kisses) I'LL SEE YOU TONIGHT.

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! I CAN'T TAKE THE GIRLS TO SCHOOL.

YOU ALWAYS TAKE THEM.

I HAVE TO GO TO WORK EARLY TODAY.

WELL, I'M AT WORK RIGHT NOW.

CARLOS, HOW MUCH DO YOU MAKE IN AN HOUR?

$12.

I JUST MADE $12 LISTENING TO YOU TELL ME YOU MAKE $12.

GABY, COME ON. THIS JOB IS VERY IMPORTANT TO ME.

I'M DOING VERY MEANINGFUL WORK. YOU SHOULD BE PROUD OF THAT.

WELL, WHEN WE CAN PAY OUR MORTGAGE IN "MEANINGFUL,"

I WILL BE.

MWAH.

HEY, BUDDY. HOW WAS SCHOOL?

OKAY. I'M STARVING. CAN I HAVE SOME COOKIES?

SURE.

DIDN'T YOU LIKE THE TURKEY SANDWICH I MADE YOU?

NOT REALLY.

I TRIED TO TRADE IT TO JOHN GURRY

FOR A BOOK ABOUT WORMS,

BUT HE BACKED OUT 'CAUSE YOU USED TOO MUCH MAYO.

SORRY. DIDN'T REALIZE THE WORM KID WAS SUCH A GOURMET.

WHAT'S THIS?

NOTHING.

WAIT. YOUR SCHOOL'S HAVING A SOAPBOX DERBY.

YEAH.

WELL, THAT SOUNDS LIKE SO MUCH FUN.

IT'S FOR DADS AND SONS.

YES... BUT IT DOESN'T SAY MOMS CAN'T DO IT, TOO.

THAT'S OKAY. I DON'T HAVE TO DO IT.

BESIDES, IT'S IN THREE DAYS.

OH. THAT'S REALLY SOON.

I GUESS WE SHOULD GET STARTED.

OH, COME ON.

I DON'T WANT YOU TO MISS OUT ON ALL THE FUN.

MOM, YOU CAN'T MAKE A CAR.

WHAT MAKES YOU SAY THAT?

'CAUSE YOU CAN'T EVEN MAKE A TURKEY SANDWICH.

WELL, THANK GOODNESS I HAVE THE MOST TALENTED PARTNER.

NOW COME ON. WE'RE WASTING TIME.

LET'S GET HAMMERING.

(indistinct conversations)

SERIOUSLY? YOU'RE TELLING ME

YOU'RE AGAINST THE DEATH PENALTY?

I'VE JUST SEEN TOO MANY CASES

WHERE THE WRONG PERSON GETS CONVICTED.

NOT MY CLIENTS, OF COURSE.

WELL, I JUST THINK OUR SOCIETY'S GOTTEN TOO SOFT.

WE NEED A POWERFUL DETERRENT TO STOP THESE KILLERS.

YOU DO REALIZE YOU'RE NOT ON TRIAL

FOR A PARKING TICKET, RIGHT? (fork clatters)

KIDDING. HEY, I'M JUST-- JUST TRYING TO LIGHTEN THE MOOD.

TOMORROW'S GONNA BE FINE. IT'S JUST A PRE-TRIAL HEARING.

YES, WHICH BRINGS ME ONE STEP CLOSER TO THE REAL THING.

SO WHAT EXACTLY... WILL WE BE DOING AT THIS HEARING?

YOU WILL SIT THERE AND LOOK CLASSY AND INNOCENT.

I WILL TRY TO GET AS MUCH OF THEIR CASE TOSSED AS I CAN.

AND YOUR SUCCESS RATE AT THIS SORT OF THING IS?

IMPRESSIVE.

I ONCE DEFENDED A WOMAN WHO RAN A BROTHEL.

AT THE PRE-TRIAL, I GOT THE WHOLE THING REDUCED

TO OPERATING A BUSINESS WITHOUT A FIRE DOOR.

THAT'S TERRIBLE.

WHAT? WHAT, ME BEING A GREAT LAWYER?

NO, DEFENDING A PROSTITUTE. CALL ME OLD-FASHIONED,

BUT I FIND THAT LINE OF WORK RATHER DISTASTEFUL.

(chuckles) SO--SO IF SHE RAN A CIGARETTE COMPANY,

OR MANUFACTURED HANDGUNS, SHE'S A-OK,

BUT--BUT SELLING MEN A LITTLE RING-A-DING

MAKES HER A PARIAH.

OKAY, FIRST OF ALL, "RING-A-DING"? MM-HMM.

SECOND, SEX, ISN'T A COMMODITY. IT'S... SACRED.

YEAH, I'LL SAY, AND FOR THIS WOMAN,

SACRED COST 400 BUCKS A POP.

CAN WE PLEASE STOP TALKING ABOUT IT? IT'S TAWDRY.

(chuckles) AND THAT LITTLE CRACK ABOUT MANUFACTURING HANDGUNS?

I HOPE THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE ANTI-GUN.

I'VE SUED THE N.R.A. THREE TIMES.

IT IS MY DREAM TO ONE DAY TAKE THOSE SONS OF BITCHES DOWN.

WELL, WHEN IT COMES TO MY GUNS, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO PRY THEM

OUT OF MY COLD, DEAD HANDS.

"GUNS"? PLURAL? MM-HMM.

WHAT, IS THAT SO YOU CAN, UH, COORDINATE YOUR FIREARMS

WITH YOUR SHOES?

YOU AND I ARE NEVER GONNA AGREE ON ANYTHING, ARE WE?

(crunches) THIS SALAD KIND OF SUCKS.

I AGREE.

NOT WITH THE LANGUAGE, BUT WITH THE OBSERVATION.

I HAVE NEVER MET ANYONE

WHO CAN PULL OFF A CAPE LIKE YOU, MRS. DUNCAN.

AND THIS IS OUR LAST ONE,

SO I'M NOT LETTING YOU LEAVE HERE WITHOUT IT.

(chuckles)

UH-OH. ANOTHER STRAY FROM THE LAND OF ELASTIC WAISTBANDS.

AVERT YOUR EYES. I'LL GET RID OF HER.

HELLO, DEAR.

YOU MUST HAVE TAKEN A WRONG TURN.

SENSIBLE SHOES ARE ONE FLOOR DOWN.

OH, ACTUALLY, I'M LOOKING FOR A PERSONAL SHOPPER.

I NEED HELP.

OKAY. UM...

YOU'RE WELCOME.

OH.

OH, CHAMPAGNE. OH--

OH, NO, NO. THIS IS JUST FOR HIGH-END CUSTOMERS.

OH. (chuckles)

AND ME. MY HUSBAND'S AN ALCOHOLIC.

SO I CAN ONLY DRINK AT WORK.

I'M LOOKING TO FRESHEN UP MY WARDROBE.

I HAVEN'T BOUGHT NEW CLOTHES IN QUITE SOME TIME.

I UNDERSTAND. FIXED INCOME?

NO. MY RICH HUSBAND WAS A STINGY SON OF A BITCH,

AND NOW HE'S TOES UP. I AM READY TO SPEND.

WHO WAS YOUR HUSBAND?

WILLIAM HAMMOND.

AS IN THE HAMMOND THEATER? MM-HMM.

AND THE HAMMOND HOSPITAL? YEP.

AND THE HAMMOND LIBRARY?

SO YOU'VE HEARD OF HIM. ARE YOU KIDDING?

I'VE BEEN TO SHOWS IN THAT THEATER,

I'VE GIVEN BIRTH IN THAT HOSPITAL,

AND I WENT INTO THAT LIBRARY ONCE FOR DIRECTIONS.

OH. WELL, SIT DOWN

WHILE I PULL YOU SOME CLOTHES.

OH. (chuckles) THERE YOU GO.

WELL, THANK YOU.

OH, HONEY. LOOK AT THAT CAPE.

THAT LOOKS INTERESTING.

OH.

GIVE ME THAT. YOU LOOK LIKE BATMAN.

OH. (chuckles)

THERE YOU GO.

AND FOR THE RECEPTION, I WAS THINKING OF A JAZZ BAND.

WOULDN'T THAT BE COOL?

EH, I LIKE JAZZ. UH, BUT IF YOU'RE INTERESTED

IN A LITTLE, UH, TRADITIONAL AUSTRALIAN MUSIC,

I KNOW THIS GUY WHO PLAYS A BADASS DIDGERIDOO.

JAZZ IT IS.

OKAY, WE'VE DONE ENOUGH.

LET ME CLEAN THIS UP, AND THEN WE CAN GO UPSTAIRS

FOR A PREVIEW OF OUR WEDDING NIGHT.

OH, NOW YOU'RE TALKING. I'LL GRAB SOME WINE.

I KNOW THIS MIGHT SURPRISE YOU,

BUT I ACTUALLY HAVE A FEW MOVES SAVED UP

FOR MY FIRST NIGHT AS MRS. BEN FAULKNER.

UH... IT'S NOT THAT I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

I JUST... CAN'T IMAGINE... WHAT'S LEFT.

(bottle clatters) OH, YEAH, THAT'S JUST SOME, UH, SOME BUSINESS STUFF

THAT I NEED TO TAKE. NO, IT'S A SUBPOENA.

YOU'RE ON THE WITNESS LIST FOR BREE'S TRIAL? WHY?

UH, BEATS ME. I-I TH-THINK THEY MADE A MISTAKE.

KIND OF A COINCIDENCE, THOUGH.

WELL... THE COPS QUESTIONING YOU

ABOUT THAT BODY THEY FOUND ON SITE

AND THEN BREE GETTING ARRESTED FOR KILLING THE GUY?

BEN, DON'T LIE TO ME.

I CAN HANDLE ANYTHING YOU TELL ME,

JUST AS LONG AS IT'S THE TRUTH.

UM... OKAY.

LISTEN, RENEE, LET'S JUST DROP THIS, OKAY?

NO. I'M ABOUT TO BECOME YOUR WIFE.

YOU WANNA KEEP A SECRET

ABOUT TOUCHING ANOTHER BOY'S DIDGERIDOO AT SUMMER CAMP, FINE.

BUT NOT ABOUT A MURDER.

HOLY CRAP.

I'M RIGHT.

TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON, OR I'M WALKING OUT OF THIS HOUSE.

YOU'RE GONNA NEED TO LET ME THINK ABOUT IT.

I DON'T BELIEVE THIS.

MY, UH, MY FIRST HUSBAND KEPT SECRETS FROM ME,

AND IT ENDED OUR MARRIAGE.

I'M NOT GOING DOWN THIS ROAD AGAIN.

GABY, WHY IS THERE AN OLD LADY

SITTING AT OUR DINING ROOM TABLE?

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO THAT IS?

I THINK MY GENERIC REFERENCE TO HER AS "OLD LADY"

KINDA SAYS I DON'T.

SHE'S DORIS HAMMOND, AS IN HAMMOND INVESTMENTS.

RING ANY BELLS?

BILL HAMMOND'S WIDOW?

GUY MADE A KILLING IN PRIVATE EQUITY.

WHY IS SHE HERE?

SHE'S MY BEST CUSTOMER DOWN AT CUMBERLY'S,

I THINK MOSTLY 'CAUSE SHE SEES ME AS HER FRIEND.

(chuckles) OH. SO YOU THOUGHT YOU'D EXPLOIT THAT--

INVITE A LONELY WIDOW TO DINNER, PRETEND SHE'S YOUR FRIEND,

JUST TO MAKE MONEY OFF OF HER.

(oven door clatters) EXACTLY.

GABY, CAN'T I JUST TAKE MY PLATE UPSTAIRS?

I'M EXHAUSTED.

YOU'RE EXHAUSTED? I HAD TO WATCH A 20-MINUTE iPhone VIDEO

OF HER CAT TAKING A NAP IN A LAUNDRY BASKET

JUST TO SELL HER A COAT.

NOW GET OUT THERE, LOSE YOUR TOP BUTTON,

AND LOOK PRETTY.

DORIS, I CAN'T GET OVER HOW LOVELY THAT JACKET LOOKS ON YOU.

ISN'T IT LOVELY, CARLOS?

YEAH, IT'S GREAT.

OH, I ALMOST HAD A HEART ATTACK WHEN I SAW THE PRICE.

I GUESS I JUST HAVE TO GET COMFORTABLE

WITH THE IDEA OF SPENDING MONEY.

THAT'S RIGHT, AND TOMORROW WHEN THE NEW FALL LINE COMES IN,

WE'RE GONNA GET YOU REAL COMFORTABLE.

(chuckles)

SO, CARLOS...

WHAT IS IT YOU DO?

I... WORK FOR A NONPROFIT THAT HELPS RECOVERING ADDICTS.

(imitates loud snoring)

OH, I'M SORRY. WAS CARLOS TALKING ABOUT HIS CHARITY?

GOOD THING WE WEREN'T OPERATING HEAVY MACHINERY, HUH, DORIS?

(chuckles)

YOU'LL HAVE TO EXCUSE MY WIFE.

NOT THE BIGGEST FAN OF WHAT I DO.

OH, THAT'S SILLY.

PHILANTHROPY IS VERY IMPORTANT.

MY BILL GAVE GENEROUSLY TO MANY WORTHY CAUSES.

OKAY, IF WE'RE GONNA KEEP TALKING ABOUT CHARITY,

I'LL MAKE COFFEE. WE'RE GONNA NEED IT.

BOY, BILL LEFT QUITE A LEGACY.

HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT ABOUT CARRYING THAT ON?

OH, I'D LOVE TO, BUT I WOULDN'T KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN.

MAYBE I COULD HELP.

SO MY EX'S LAWYER SAYS, "WE BELIEVE IT'S FAIR

FOR MR. LIMON TO PAY AN ADDITIONAL $1 MILLION."

AND I SAID--AND THIS IS HOW MY MOUTH

ALWAYS GETS ME IN TROUBLE-- "SO THAT COMES OUT TO WHAT,

ABOUT $1 A POUND"?

(gasps) OH, MAN. AND THE JUDGE...

NOT AMUSED, WHICH IS WHY I WOUND UP PAYING

AN ADDITIONAL $2 MILLION.

OHH. TOM AND I ARE GOING TO TRY TO DO THIS WITHOUT LAWYERS.

HUH.

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN, "HUH"?

WE'VE KNOWN EACH OTHER 25 YEARS.

WE HAVE KIDS TOGETHER. AND THAT'S GREAT.

IT'S ALL GREAT, BUT THERE IS ANOTHER PERSON INVOLVED.

JANE.

AND TRUST ME, SHE IS GONNA BE IN HIS EAR THE WHOLE TIME

ABOUT THE SETTLEMENT.

BY THE WAY, I DO NOT GET THE ATTRACTION THERE.

WELL, LET'S SAVE THAT TOPIC FOR ANOTHER NIGHT.

WE CAN DO HOURS ON THAT ONE.

ANOTHER NIGHT? SO THIS IS GOING PRETTY GOOD. YEAH. IT'S BEEN GREAT.

WELL, OKAY, WE SHOULD DO IT AGAIN.

HOW ABOUT SATURDAY NIGHT?

(chuckles) THIS SATURDAY'S BAD.

TOM NEEDS ME TO SWITCH WEEKENDS

BECAUSE HE'S GOING AWAY WITH... JANE.

WELL... (sighs) IT'D BE KIND OF A SHAME

IF SOME LAST-MINUTE STUFF CAME UP AT WORK,

AND HE WASN'T ABLE TO GO.

(laughs) YEAH. I GUESS THAT WOULD MEAN

HE WOULDN'T HAVE TO SWITCH WEEKENDS,

AND THAT WOULD FREE YOU UP FOR SATURDAY.

DID I GET THAT CALCULUS RIGHT?

ARE YOU SAYING IN ORDER TO GET A DATE WITH ME,

YOU'D MESS WITH TOM?

DON'T THINK OF IT SO MUCH AS MESSING WITH TOM.

THINK OF IT MORE AS MESSING WITH...

JANE. (deep voice) JANE.

OH, MY GOD. IT'S STAYING TOGETHER. (laughs)

HOW LONG IS THIS RACE?

THREE MINUTES. THREE MINUTES!

THIS CAN TOTALLY STAY TOGETHER FOR THREE MINUTES.

CAN I GO NOW? OH.

I WAS GONNA HAVE YOU HELP ME PUT ON THE WHEELS.

NO, THANKS. JUANITA FOUND A DEAD SQUIRREL,

SO I KINDA WANNA CHECK IT OUT.

UH...

WELL, OF COURSE.

GOTTA SEE THE DEAD SQUIRREL.

ONLY TOUCH IT WITH A STICK!

NO FINGERS!

BLOWN OFF FOR A DEAD SQUIRREL?

BOY, DOES THAT BRING BACK MEMORIES. (tape rips)

NEW HOBBY?

OH, M.J. AND I ARE BUILDING THIS SOAPBOX THINGY CAR

FOR THE SCHOOL'S BIG RACE.

YOU SHOULD GET TOM TO HELP. HE DID IT WITH ALL OUR BOYS.

IT'S HOW THEY LEARNED TO SWEAR.

OH. THAT'S OKAY. I'LL FIGURE IT OUT.

I AM TELLING YOU, HE LOVES THIS STUFF.

I'M GONNA GIVE HIM A CALL.

OH, THANKS, BUT I REALLY THINK IT'S BETTER

IF I DO IT MYSELF.

BUT TOM CAN JUST... (snaps fingers)

TOM IS NOT... GONNA BE AROUND ALL THE TIME.

I'M SORRY. I MEAN, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

I DO. SINCE TOM AND I SPLIT,

I KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO BE BOTH MOM AND DAD,

BUT I ALSO KNOW IT'S OKAY TO ASK FOR HELP.

NO. (sighs) I CAN DO THIS. I HAVE TO.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT? I THINK IT'S GONNA TURN OUT GREAT.

(clatters)

(mouthing words)

DO YOU ALWAYS MOVE YOUR LIPS WHEN YOU READ?

DO YOU ALWAYS COMMENT ON EVERYTHING

THAT BUGS YOU ABOUT ME?

I HAVEN'T SAID A WORD ABOUT YOUR TIE.

OKAY, WE'RE HERE FOR DISCOVERY, COMPLIANCE, AND TRIAL SETTING.

MS. STONE, MR. WESTON, YOU'VE EXCHANGED WITNESS LISTS?

THE PEOPLE HAVE NO OBJECTION TO MR. WESTON'S LIST.

MR. WESTON, ANY OBJECTIONS?

THAT DEPENDS.

WHO ARE THE GENTLEMEN FROM NUMBER 16 TO 28?

I'VE NEVER HEARD THESE NAMES BEFORE.

YOUR CLIENT HAS.

THEY'RE MEN SHE MET AT A BAR, BROUGHT HOME,

AND HAD SEX WITH.

(laughs) THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

YOUR HONOR, THE DEFENSE WILL ARGUE THAT THERE'S

NO SUGGESTION OF A RELATIONSHIP

BETWEEN MS. VAN DE KAMP AND MR. SANCHEZ,

THAT SHE NEVER EVEN MET HIM.

BECAUSE SHE HADN'T. SOME OF THESE MEN WILL TESTIFY

THAT SHE WAS SO INTOXICATED DURING THEIR TIME TOGETHER,

THAT SHE DIDN'T REMEMBER ANYTHING ABOUT THE LIAISON.

SUGGESTING THAT SHE COULD HAVE SLEPT WITH MR. SANCHEZ.

SO UNDER MS. STONE'S "FORGETFUL SLUT" THEORY,

YOU CAN CONNECT MY CLIENT TO ANY MAN IN FAIRVIEW.

WELL, NOT EVERY MAN IN FAIRVIEW ENDED UP

WITH THE DEFENDANT'S FINGERPRINT ON HIS SHIRT,

BUT MR. SANCHEZ DID.

YOUR HONOR, THE IDEA THAT MY CLIENT

WOULD CONDUCT HERSELF IN-- IN THAT MANNER IS ABSURD.

SHE IS A PARAGON OF VIRTUE IN THE COMMUNITY,

A CHAMPION OF CONSERVATIVE VALUES...

SHORT RECESS, YOUR HONOR?

BREE...

BREE, IS THIS TRUE? DID YOU SLEEP WITH RAMON SANCHEZ?

NO.

BUT THE OTHER MEN?

HOW THE HELL COULD YOU NOT TELL ME THIS?

OH, ALL RIGHT, OKAY. THIS...

THIS IS OKAY AS LONG AS WE CAN STAY IN FRONT OF IT.

UM... I NEED TO KNOW EXACTLY WHO YOU SLEPT WITH AND WHEN--

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? (whispers) NO.

BREE, IF I'M GOING TO DEFEND YOU,

I NEED TO KNOW THE TRUTH.

I'M SORRY, BUT I CAN'T TALK ABOUT THIS WITH YOU.

(sighs)

(Doris) GABY?

DORIS, YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT JUST GOT OFF THE PLANE.

THE MOST BEAUTIFULLY EMBROIDERED CHINESE SILK,

AND IF YOU LISTEN TO IT CAREFULLY,

YOU CAN HEAR LITTLE CHILDREN ASKING, "WHEN'S DINNER?"

OH, I'M GONNA HAVE TO STOP YOU RIGHT THERE.

OKAY, A LITTLE INSENSITIVE. MY BAD.

NO, I-I'VE HAD A CHANGE OF HEART,

AND I CAN'T BUY ANYTHING MORE FROM YOU.

IN FACT, I NEED TO RETURN THESE.

WHAT? YOU CAN'T. I WORK ON COMMISSION.

I-I MEAN, YOU LOVE THESE CLOTHES.

DID YOU KNOW THAT ONE OF THESE SCARVES

COULD BUY A MONTH OF VOCATIONAL TRAINING

FOR A HOMELESS ADDICT?

NO, BUT THAT SOUNDS AWFULLY FAMILIAR.

IT WAS IN THE PAMPHLET THAT CARLOS SLIPPED ME LAST NIGHT.

HE DID WHAT NOW?

AND WE TALKED ON THE PHONE THIS MORNING,

AND HE REMINDED ME OF WHAT MY HUSBAND USED TO SAY--

THAT "THOSE WHO DO WELL MUST ALSO DO GOOD."

MM-HMM. THAT SOUNDS LIKE CARLOS.

HE'S A VERY SPECIAL GUY.

HOLD ON TO HIM.

(chuckles) WELL, NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT,

I CAN'T WAIT TO GET MY HANDS ON HIM. (bag rustles)

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH COMMISSION I STOOD TO MAKE

FROM THIS LADY? GABY.

DORIS WAS MY GOLDEN GOOSE. I WAS FATTENING HER UP,

AND THEN YOU WENT AND STOLE ALL HER EGGS,

AND--AND, WELL, I DON'T KNOW WHERE THIS METAPHOR IS GOING,

BUT I AM MAD AT YOU, MISTER. GABY. (chuckles)

NO, STOP "GABY"-ING ME. I WILL NOT BE "GABY"-ED.

LOOK, WHERE DORIS PUTS HER MONEY IS HER DECISION.

TOMORROW MORNING, 9:00, SHE'S PUTTING IT HERE.

(scoffs) OKAY. YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SO SMUG

JUST 'CAUSE YOU'RE "DOING CHARITY."

NO QUOTATION MARKS. I'M ACTUALLY DOING CHARITY,

HELPING PEOPLE GET THEIR LIVES TOGETHER.

AND I'M HELPING PEOPLE PUT THEIR WARDROBES TOGETHER.

POTATO, POTAHTO.

I GOT TO RUN TO A MEETING.

NOW? WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF AN ARGUMENT.

YEAH, BUT IT'S NO FUN TO ARGUE WHEN ONLY ONE SIDE

IS MORALLY DEFENSIBLE.

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS FUN? A LITTLE VICTORY DANCE.

(imitates dance beat)

OH, YEAH. OH, YEAH.

(slap)

(sighs)

OKAY, IT TOOK ME ALL NIGHT,

AND I SCRAPED OFF TWO OF MY KNUCKLES,

AND I DRANK SO MUCH GREEN TEA

THAT ONE OF MY EYES WON'T STOP TWITCHING,

BUT... IT'S... FINISHED. (squeals)

WHOO!

(laughs)

OKAY. BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING,

I DESIGNED THE FLAME DECALS MYSELF,

SO IF YOU DON'T LIKE THEM, THEY'RE TOTALLY REMOVABLE.

BUT PERSONALLY, I LIKE THEM. I THINK THEY'RE AWESOME.

AND THERE'S A BASKET ON THE BACK FOR SUNDRIES OR SNACKS

OR THUMB TACKS TO THROW UNDER THE COMPETITION'S TIRES.

BUT WHY WOULD YOU NEED TO CHEAT WITH A CAR LIKE THIS, RIGHT?

(chuckles)

ARE YOU GONNA SAY SOMETHING?

OH, I GET IT.

YOU HATE THE BASKET. GUESS WHAT.

BASKET GONE. (clang)

OH, COME ON. I'VE BEEN DOING THIS FOR TWO DAYS STRAIGHT.

YOU GOTTA GIVE ME SOMETHING.

I... LOVE IT.

YOU DO? OH!

HEE HEE! I MEAN, OF COURSE YOU DO.

BUT SERIOUSLY, IF YOU HAVE ANY THOUGHTS OR TWEAKS, TELL ME.

'CAUSE WE STILL HAVE A DAY BEFORE THE RACE.

NO, NO, IT'S PERFECT.

OH, I'M SO RELIEVED.

YOU WANNA TAKE IT FOR A SPIN?

YEAH, BUT... I'M KIND OF THIRSTY.

CAN YOU GET ME SOMETHING TO DRINK?

OF COURSE. TWO FROSTY NON-CAFFEINATED ROOT BEERS

COMING RIGHT UP.

(brakes squeal)

OH! OH, MY GOD! WHAT DID YOU DO?

I DIDN'T SEE IT COMING. I'M SO SORRY.

NO, NOT YOU! MY SON! YOU CAN GO. OH.

(truck door closes)

(truck departs) M.J., DID YOU WRECK THE CAR ON PURPOSE?

NO. IT JUST ROLLED DOWN THE DRIVEWAY.

IT'S A FLAT DRIVEWAY.

OKAY, I DID IT.

(sighs deeply)

(wood clatters) WHY?

I HATE THAT CAR.

WELL, THEN WE'LL CHANGE IT.

WE'LL MAKE IT WHATEVER YOU WANT TO.

I DON'T WANNA DO IT. I DON'T WANNA BE THE WEIRDO.

HONEY, DID SOMEONE CALL YOU A WEIRDO?

THEY DON'T HAVE TO. THEY'RE ALWAYS STARING AT ME

AND TREATING ME DIFFERENT 'CAUSE I DON'T HAVE A DAD.

OH, HONEY.

AND IF I GO TO THE FATHER-SON DERBY,

AND I'M THE ONLY KID WITH HIS MOM,

IT'S GONNA BE EVEN WORSE.

I'M SO SORRY. I HAD NO IDEA.

WHAT CAN I DO TO MAKE IT BETTER?

NOTHING. I JUST WANT DAD.

(sighs)

HEY!

HEY! HOW WAS SOCCER?

AWESOME. I THINK WE'RE GONNA

KICK SAN MARINO'S ASS ON SATURDAY. (door closes)

NICE. YOU WANT ME TO MAKE YOU SOMETHING TO EAT?

THANKS. I'M GONNA GET CHANGED.

HEY. HEY.

IT'S CUTE HOW HER GENERATION

THINKS THAT SPORT IS INTERESTING.

UGH.

OH, AND, UM, I WILL BRING HER TO THE GAME SATURDAY.

LOOKS LIKE WE WON'T NEED TO SWITCH WEEKENDS.

I THOUGHT YOU AND JANE WERE GOING AWAY.

CAN'T. I GOT TO WORK.

GREGG WANTS ME TO REWORK THE STRATEGIC PLAN

THE INTERNATIONAL GUYS DID, SO...

HUH. WELL, THAT SUCKS.

NEVER LIKED THAT GUY.

THEN WHY'D YOU GO OUT WITH HIM?

(packaging rustles)

I MEAN, HE SAID YOU GUYS HAD DRINKS THE OTHER NIGHT?

IT WAS NOTHING. WE JUST, YOU KNOW...

HUNG OUT FOR A BIT. (silverware clatters)

YOU DO REALIZE THAT THAT COULD BE AWKWARD FOR ME.

HUH. THAT'S WEIRD.

WHAT?

I HAVE AN "ISN'T THAT IRONIC?" APP

THAT USUALLY BUZZES WHEN PEOPLE SAY STUFF LIKE THAT.

I'M SERIOUS, LYNETTE. THAT'S WHERE I WORK.

IT WAS JUST DRINKS WITH A GUY I KNOW,

WHO HAPPENS TO BE YOUR BOSS. (packaging rustling)

I PROMISE NOT TO DO ANYTHING EMBARRASSING

LIKE... KISS HIM IN THE OFFICE.

OKAY. YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU WANNA SEE GREGG?

IT'S FINE WITH ME.

(door closes)

HEY. HMM?

HOW ABOUT IF INSTEAD OF EATING THIS SANDWICH,

I JUST WANTED TO EAT CHOCOLATE?

HEY. HOW ABOUT... "NO"?

BUT WHAT IF I TOLD YOU SOMETHING ABOUT DAD AND JANE

THAT WOULD MAKE YOU VERY HAPPY?

THEN COULD I?

WHY, YOU LITTLE FINAGLER.

HOW DO I KNOW YOUR INFORMATION IS EVEN WORTH

THE FINE BELGIAN CHOCOLATES THAT I HAVE HIDDEN IN THE PANTRY?

OH, IT IS.

OH. (laughs) IT WOULD BE WRONG TO TEACH YOU

THAT THIS KIND OF BLACKMAIL WORKS.

BESIDES, I CAN SEE YOU'RE JUST BURSTING TO TELL ME ANYWAY.

WHEN DAD TOLD JANE HE HAD TO WORK THIS WEEKEND,

SHE KIND OF LOST IT.

REALLY? THE CHOCOLATE THAT I AM IN NO WAY TRADING

FOR THIS INFORMATION HAS ALMONDS IN IT.

SHE WAS ALL, "WE NEVER HAVE TIME TOGETHER"

AND "YOU STILL HAVEN'T FILED THE DIVORCE PAPERS."

IS THAT TRUE? HE HASN'T?

THE ENVELOPE IS STILL SITTING ON A SHELF IN THE KITCHEN.

PUT THE SANDWICH DOWN,

OR YOU WON'T HAVE ANY ROOM LEFT FOR CHOCOLATE.

AH. WELL, LOOK WHO STROLLED IN FROM THE OUTBACK.

WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?

SORRY. I REALLY NEEDED TO SORT THROUGH SOME STUFF.

STUFF? YOU MEAN WHAT HORS D'OEUVRES

WE'LL BE SERVING AT THE WEDDING,

OR ARE YOU REFERRING TO THE DEAD BODY?

HEY, IF YOU PLAN ON STAYING, YOU'D BETTER START TALKING.

I AM IMPOSSIBLY IN LOVE WITH YOU, RENEE.

AND THERE'S NOTHING I WANT MORE THAN TO COME CLEAN.

BUT IF I TELL YOU WHAT'S GOING ON,

YOU COULD GET DRAGGED INTO THIS,

AND THEN YOU'RE AT RISK, TOO.

YOU HAVE TO TRUST ME.

YOUR EX KEPT SECRETS TO HURT YOU.

I'M KEEPING THEM TO PROTECT YOU.

OKAY.

REALLY? THAT WAS EASY.

(cork pops) WELL, WHILE YOU WERE ON YOUR WALKABOUT,

I REMEMBERED SOMETHING.

SPOUSAL PRIVILEGE.

WHICH IS?

IT'S A CRAZY LAW WE HAVE HERE.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO TESTIFY AGAINST YOUR HUSBAND.

SO HERE'S WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN.

WE SAY "I DO," WE WALK BACK UP THE AISLE,

THE SECOND WE'RE OUTSIDE THAT CHURCH,

YOU TELL ME EVERYTHING.

AND IF I DON'T?

WELL, THEN I GUESS YOU WON'T BE SEEING

THOSE WEDDING NIGHT MOVES I TOLD YOU ABOUT.

AND TRUST ME...

MY SECRET IS WAY BETTER THAN YOURS.

AHH, SO YOU ARE ALIVE.

YOU'RE JUST NOT ANSWERING YOUR PHONE.

I'M SORRY. I JUST...

CAN'T IMAGINE WHAT YOU MUST THINK OF ME

AFTER HEARING ALL THAT.

BREE, LISTEN, I DON'T JUDGE PEOPLE.

I DEFEND THEM.

AND IF I'M GONNA DEFEND YOU, I NEED TO KNOW EVERYTHING.

(sighs)

SEXUAL HISTORY FROM YOUR FIRST HUSBAND

DOWN TO THE LAST GUY ON THE D.A.'s WITNESS LIST.

HOW ABOUT I GO IN THE KITCHEN AND SAY IT,

AND YOU JUST... LISTEN FROM OUT HERE?

NO DICE. I NEED YOU TO SAY IT TO MY FACE.

WHY?

BECAUSE YOU'RE GONNA BE SITTING AT THE DEFENDANT'S TABLE

WHILE ONE GUY AFTER ANOTHER TAKES THE STAND

AND GOES INTO AS MUCH GRAPHIC DETAIL

AS THE PROSECUTOR WANTS HIM TO,

AND THE WHOLE TIME THE JURY IS GONNA BE LOOKING AT YOUR FACE.

OH, DEAR GOD.

AND IF THE LOOK ON YOUR FACE IS GUILT,

THEY'RE GONNA THINK YOU'RE GUILTY.

SO I NEED YOU TO OWN THIS PART OF YOUR LIFE,

AND THAT STARTS WITH YOU TELLING ME EVERYTHING.

OKAY.

I HOPED IT WOULDN'T COME TO THIS, BUT, UH,

MAYBE IT WOULD BE HELPFUL IF I TOLD YOU

MY SEXUAL SECRETS FIRST.

NO, IT MOST CERTAINLY WOULD NOT BE HELPFUL.

BESIDES, MEN AREN'T EMBARRASSED

TO BRAG ABOUT THEIR CONQUESTS.

I'M GONNA START TALKING NOW.

FIRST TIME I HAD SEX...

I WAS 24.

I WAS IN LAW SCHOOL.

SHE WAS A CLASSMATE AND RATHER EXPERIENCED.

IT DIDN'T GO VERY WELL,

OR FOR THAT MATTER, LAST VERY LONG.

(chuckles)

YEAH, YEAH, IT'S HILARIOUS.

(chuckles) IN FACT, EVERY CHRISTMAS,

I GET A CARD FROM HER THAT SAYS, "STILL LAUGHING."

(laughs) SO YOU HAD AN AWKWARD FIRST EXPERIENCE.

WHO DIDN'T?

YOU WANT WORSE? I-I CAN DO WORSE.

OKAY.

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SAY THIS. UM...

I AM... QUITE OVERSIZED DOWN THERE.

SINCE WHEN IS A MAN BEING WELL ENDOWED

CONSIDERED HUMILIATING?

I'M TALKING ABOUT MY PROSTATE--

MY ENLARGED PROSTATE.

BEST PART-- YOUR DOCTOR TELLS YOU

IT ONLY HAPPENS TO OLDER MEN.

THAT'S THE REASON YOU HAVE TO PEE 30 TIMES A DAY.

SO NOW YOU KNOW I'M PUSHING 50, BORDERLINE INCONTINENT,

AND WOMEN ARE SCARED OF MY JUNK.

IS THAT HUMILIATING ENOUGH FOR YOU?

YES, I THINK IT IS.

GLAD TO HEAR IT.

OH. I HAVE TO TELL YOU NOW, DON'T I?

(sighs) HMM.

I WAS IN A DARK PLACE...

LONELY...

AND IN PAIN, I STARTED...

DRINKING... AGAIN.

(indistinct conversations)

SO THE KICKER TO THE STORY IS,

THE NEW INTERNATIONAL PLAN THAT TOM CAME UP WITH IS--

IS PRETTY AWESOME. MM.

HE MAY NOT HAVE GOOD TASTE IN WOMEN,

BUT HE IS DAMN SMART ABOUT FINANCE.

TOM IS REALLY SMART...

IN THAT ONE AREA.

POOR JANE.

(clink) YOU'RE REALLY ENJOYING THIS, AREN'T YOU?

UM... A LITTLE, TINY BIT.

YOU SHOULD.

I WISH I HAD A WAY OF GETTING BACK AT CRYSTAL

WHEN WE WERE BREAKING UP.

MUST FEEL GOOD.

JANE WAS PRETTY PISSED, HUH?

OH, APPARENTLY. SO EVEN THOUGH THAT MAKES ME

A TERRIBLE PERSON, THANK YOU FOR THAT.

ANYTIME. I MEAN THAT.

ANYTIME.

(chuckles) SO...

IF I ASKED YOU TO HAVE TOM WORK A FEW NIGHTS THIS WEEK,

YOU'D DO IT?

IF I COULD HELP YOU PISS OFF YOUR EX

AND SPEND MORE TIME WITH YOU, I SEE NO DOWNSIDE IN THAT.

YOU JUST SAY THE WORD.

REALLY?

LATE NIGHTS, WEEKENDS.

MAYBE EVEN A FEW OUT-OF-TOWN TRIPS?

YOU TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT,

I'LL MAKE IT HAPPEN.

OH. (laughs) I LIKE THE SOUND OF THAT.

MUST BE WHY WOMEN FALL FOR POWERFUL MEN.

AND THEN THE PROSECUTOR SUGGESTED

I WAS PROBABLY SO DRUNK, THAT I FORGOT THE WHOLE THING.

WELL, HANG ON. DIDN'T YOUR HOTSHOT LAWYER

GET ALL UP IN HER FACE WITH THE "OBJECTIONS"

AND THE "SIDEBARS"

AND THE "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!"?

TRIP WAS AMAZING,

BUT SHE STILL SAID IT WAS ADMISSIBLE.

MY ENTIRE SORDID PAST IS ADMISSIBLE.

SO JUST BECAUSE YOU SLEPT WITH A FEW GUYS

MEANS YOU SLEPT WITH ALEJANDRO?

MORE THAN A FEW.

SORRY. CARRY ON.

YOU KNOW WHAT THE WORST THING WAS?

THE LOOK ON TRIP'S FACE. HE WAS SO DISAPPOINTED IN ME.

WAIT. THAT WAS THE WORST THING?

WORSE THAN THE WHOLE SHARING-A-CELL-FOR-20-YEARS-

WITH-A-BIG-GAL-NAMED-VERN THING?

WELL, I'M NOT GOING TO PRISON.

I MEAN, TRIP SAYS WE'RE GONNA WIN,

AND I BELIEVE IN HIM.

I JUST THANK GOD THAT EVEN AFTER ALL OF THIS,

HE STILL BELIEVES IN ME.

OKAY, I'M GONNA SAY IT. (cup clatters)

BREE, YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON YOUR LAWYER.

(scoffs) DON'T BE RIDICULOUS.

YOU DO SOUND A TEENSY BIT SMITTEN.

I AM NOT SMITTEN. I-I HAPPEN TO ADMIRE HIS LEGAL SKILLS, AND--

HIS DREAMY BLUE EYES?

THEY'RE NOT BLUE. THEY'RE GREEN, FLECKED WITH HINTS OF BROWN.

OKAY, MAYBE I FIND HIM ATTRACTIVE,

BUT DO YOU REALLY THINK I WOULD PUT MYSELF AT RISK

BY DATING MY OWN ATTORNEY?

OH, I DON'T KNOW.

YOU PUT US ALL AT RISK WHEN YOU DATED CHUCK.

LOOK, HAVING A CRUSH IS NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF.

HE'S RESCUING YOU, AND IT'S IN OUR D.N.A.

TO FALL FOR GUYS WHO RESCUE US.

BUT IN THIS CASE, IT'S JUST NOT SAFE FOR YOU TO ACT ON IT.

I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT.

YOU'RE ON TRIAL FOR MURDER, BREE.

YOU GOT TO KEEP A CLEAR HEAD.

AND SO DOES HE.

DORIS, I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW HOW GRATEFUL WE ARE.

YOUR DONATION IS GONNA HELP SO MANY RECOVERING ADDICTS

GET BACK ON THEIR FEET.

OH, STOP. (chuckles) I SHOULD BE THANKING YOU

FOR LETTING ME BE A PART OF ALL THIS.

MM, AND PLEASE FORGIVE THE APPEARANCE OF MY OFFICE.

EVERY PENNY THAT WE GET GOES DIRECTLY TO THOSE IN NEED,

SO THERE'S NOT A LOT LEFT OVER FOR...

NICE... THINGS.

THOSE IN NEED, HUH?

THIS IS NOT MY STUFF!

I HAD A SIMPLE WOODEN DESK, AN OLD COFFEE TABLE.

OH.

AND A BABY GRAND.

WELL, THAT MUST COME IN HANDY

WHILE YOU'RE ALL SINGING "KUMBAYA"

DURING YOUR CLEAN NEEDLE EXCHANGE.

DORIS, PLEASE. THIS IS NOT WHAT WE'RE ABOUT HERE.

FIND YOURSELF ANOTHER OLD LADY TO FLEECE.

(sighs)

(door opens)

HONEY, I NEED TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING IN THE GARAGE.

DID YOU FIX THE CAR?

NO. JUANITA USED THE WOOD TO BUILD A COFFIN

FOR THE SQUIRREL, BUT I DO HAVE A LITTLE SURPRISE FOR YOU.

(sighs)

AHEM.

OH, HEY, PERFECT TIMING, M.J.

WE COULD REALLY USE ANOTHER PAIR OF HANDS.

(lowered voice) WHAT ARE THEY DOING HERE?

WELL, I KNOW I TOLD YOU THAT I COULD DO THIS MYSELF,

BUT I GOT TO THINKING THAT EVERY RACE CAR DRIVER

HAS A PIT CREW, AND THIS IS YOURS.

WE'RE HERE TO HELP YOU.

AND NOT JUST ABOUT CAR STUFF, YOU KNOW?

ANYTIME YOU NEED SOMETHING, GIVE US A CALL.

SO WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS DESIGN? HEY?

IT... KIND OF LOOKS LIKE A CORVETTE.

KIND OF? IT'S AN EXACT RENDERING.

LOOK AT THE SHADING ON THE WHEEL WELL.

CALM DOWN. YOU TRACED IT OUT OF A MAGAZINE.

CAN YOU GUYS REALLY BUILD THIS?

UM, WELL... NOT WITHOUT YOUR HELP.

SO WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT COLOR?

RED OR BLUE?

MOM? WHAT DO YOU THINK?

I THINK, UH... THIS IS KIND OF A GUY THING,

AND I SHOULD LET YOU GUYS GET TO WORK.

MY DAD LOVED CORVETTES.

WE KNOW.

HE ALWAYS SAID IF HE EVER WON THE LOTTERY,

FIRST THING HE'D DO IS BUY A CORVETTE STINGRAY CONVERTIBLE.

(knock on door)

HEY. HEY.

COME ON IN.

WHOA. (laughs) YOU LOOK LIKE A MILLION BUCKS.

AW. AND TRUST ME, I KNOW WHAT A MILLION BUCKS LOOKS LIKE.

WHAT A LOVELY COMPLIMENT...

FOR ONE OF US.

SO, UH, GALLO IS THE BEST RESTAURANT IN TOWN,

AND AFTER TONIGHT, YOU WILL KNOW WHY.

WELL, CAN'T WAIT.

LET'S GO.

BUT FIRST... I HAVE A GIFT FOR YOU.

UH-HUH?

A NAIL.

HOW THOUGHTFUL...

AND... IMAGINARY.

A NAIL IN THE COFFIN OF TOM'S HAPPINESS.

THE END OF TOM AND JANE.

COMPLETELY BAFFLED.

EVERY TIME THIS WEEK I TOLD HIM I NEEDED HIM LATE,

TOM WOULD GO IN HIS OFFICE,

AND I'D HEAR HIM ON THE PHONE IN A BIG FIGHT WITH JANE.

YOU SHOULDN'T BE TELLING ME THIS.

BUT... (high-pitched voice) YAY!

SO HOW DO YOU THINK THE PERSNICKETY MS. CARLSON

WILL HANDLE THE NEWS OF TOM'S TRANSFER?

HIS WHAT?

THE INTERNATIONAL PLAN NEEDS A POINT MAN,

SO I'M SENDING TOM TO MUMBAI FOR A YEAR.

M-MUMBAI LIKE... INDIA MUMBAI?

MM-HMM.

WHICH MEANS YOU AND I WILL HAVE FAIRVIEW

ALL TO OURSELVES.

WE GOT TO GO.

LYNETTE?

CAR. HUH?

(sighs)

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THAT TO MY OFFICE.

I HAD A BUTLER LINED UP,

BUT HE BOOKED A COMMERCIAL AT THE LAST MINUTE.

SO I GUESS I'LL CALL DORIS NOW AND MAKE AN APPOINTMENT

FOR SHOPPING TOMORROW.

YEAH, I DON'T THINK SHE'LL BE ANSWERING EITHER OF OUR CALLS.

SHE THINKS WE'RE BOTH NUTS, SO THANKS A LOT, GABY.

YOU STARTED IT. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO STOLE HER FROM ME

IN THE FIRST PLACE.

YEAH, FOR SOMETHING THAT MATTERS.

OH, ENOUGH WITH THE CARLOS OF NAZARETH ACT.

THIS WASN'T ABOUT HELPING PEOPLE.

THIS WAS ABOUT YOU SMELLING MONEY

AND GOING AFTER IT.

THE MONEY WAS FOR THE CENTER. THOSE PEOPLE NEED IT.

THE CENTER? PLEASE. YOU WERE DOING IT TO WIN.

AND YOU KNOW WHY?

'CAUSE YOU'RE A SHARK, CARLOS.

YOU ALWAYS HAVE BEEN, AND YOU ALWAYS WILL BE.

IT'S YOUR NATURE.

HONEY.

IT'S OKAY. I AM, TOO.

THAT'S WHY WE'RE GOOD TOGETHER.

LOOK, I MAY NOT LIKE THAT YOU STOLE DORIS FROM ME,

BUT I DO LIKE THAT YOU'RE THE TYPE OF GUY WHO CAN.

IT'S SEXY.

BUT...

THAT'S NOT WHO I WANT TO BE ANYMORE.

WELL, WHO DO YOU WANT TO BE?

SOMEBODY DIFFERENT.

WELL, I HATE TO TELL YOU THIS, BABE,

BUT THE BEST YOU CAN HOPE TO BE

IS JUST A DIFFERENT KIND OF SHARK.

YES, IT ISN'T EASY GIVING UP POWER...

ADMITTING THAT WE MIGHT NEED HELP

FROM FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS...

DECIDING THAT A LOVED ONE...

MIGHT KNOW WHAT'S BEST FOR US.

GIVING UP OUR BETTER JUDGMENT

FOR A SLIGHTLY DARKER AGENDA.

BUT FOR SOME,

THE HARDEST KIND OF POWER TO GIVE UP...

IS THE POWER TO CONTROL THEIR OWN DESIRES.

HELLO. YOU WANTED TO SEE ME?

DID YOU, UH, HAVE SOME NEW THOUGHTS ON THE CASE?

LOTS, BUT WHY DON'T WE DISCUSS THEM OVER DINNER?

DINNER. UM, CAN'T WE TALK HERE?

NO, I'VE BEEN COOPED UP ALL DAY,

AND I KNOW THIS GREAT, LITTLE ITALIAN PLACE.

I DON'T THINK THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.

OH, COME ON. I'M A MUCH BETTER LAWYER

AFTER A PLATE OF SPAGHETTI CARBONARA.

SO? WHAT DO YOU SAY?

I SAY...

(chuckles)

LET'S DO IT.