Original subtitles

PREVIOUSLY ON...

AT MIKE'S FUNERAL, SUSAN AND M.J. SAID GOOD-BYE.

GABY GAVE HER BLESSING.

YOU SHOULD QUIT YOUR JOB.

IF BEING A COUNSELOR IS GONNA MAKE YOU HAPPY,

THEN THAT'S WHAT YOU SHOULD DO.

LYNETTE SPOKE HER MIND ABOUT TOM'S GIRLFRIEND...

I ACTUALLY DON'T THINK IT'S GONNA LAST THAT MUCH LONGER.

AND THE POLICE GATHERED MORE EVIDENCE.

SOMEONE IS ACCUSING YOU OF KILLING MR. SANCHEZ. THAT'S JUST SILLY.

I WANNA MAKE SURE WE GET ENOUGH

TO PUT THIS BITCH AWAY FOR GOOD.

(Mary Alice) RENEE PERRY HAD WAITED MANY MONTHS

FOR A PROPOSAL,

AND FOR MANY MONTHS, SHE HAD BEEN DISAPPOINTED.

THERE HAD BEEN COZY EVENING BY THE FIRE...

THAT DIDN'T GO THE WAY SHE HAD HOPED.

A ROMANTIC MOMENT IN WISTERIA PARK...

THAT WASN'T SO ROMANTIC

AFTER ALL.

AND A BEAUTIFUL PICNIC BY A LAKE...

THAT TURNED OUT TO BE

NOTHING MORE THAN A PICNIC.

(blows nose)

SO WHEN DISAPPOINTMENT STRUCK AGAIN...

RENEE DECIDED TO SPEAK UP.

DESSERT?

THAT'S THE BIG FINALE TO A 6-COURSE MEAL?

DESSERT?

WERE YOU EXPECTING, LIKE, A CHEESE COURSE?

NO!

I WAS EXPECTING A RING.

YOU HAVE RED ROSES, CHAMPAGNE.

YOU ARE SENDING ME EVERY SIGNAL IN THE WORLD

THAT I'M ABOUT TO GET A BIG PROPOSAL

AND INSTEAD, I GET A COOKIE.

WELL, IT'S A CHOCOLATE SOUFFLE.

(scoffs) WHATEVER. I AM NOT A YOUNG WOMAN.

I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY MORE FAKE OUTS MY HEART CAN TAKE.

OKAY, FINE. I-I WAS GONNA PROPOSE TONIGHT.

I JUST DID SUCH A HORRIBLE JOB THE FIRST TIME,

I-I... I WANTED THIS TO BE EXCEPTIONAL.

THEY CALL IT "POPPING THE QUESTION,"

NOT "DRAGGING IT OUT TO ETERNITY,"

SO COME ON! POP!

CAN I AT LEAST, UH, READ YOU THE SPEECH THAT I WROTE?

OH, LORD. JUST GIVE ME THE LAST PARAGRAPH.

UH...

OKAY.

"FOR ALL THESE REASONS AND MORE,

IT IS WITH GREAT HONOR, THAT I ASK YOU IF YOU"--

(knock on door)

UH, WE'RE IGNORING THAT. KEEP GOING.

"...I-IF YOU WOULD CONSIDER MAKING ME

THE HAPPIEST MAN IN THE"--

(knock) GO AWAY!

(Detective Heredia) IT'S THE POLICE.

WE'RE LOOKING FOR A MR. BEN FAULKNER.

I'M BEN FAULKNER. HOW CAN I HELP YOU?

YOU OWN THE CONDOMINIUM PROJECT

UNDER CONSTRUCTION AT CHAPMAN WOODS?

I USED TO. BANK OWNS IT NOW.

YOU MIND COMING DOWN TO THE STATION WITH US?

I WANT TO ASK YOU ABOUT A BODY WE FOUND ON THE SITE.

IS... HE UNDER ARREST?

NO, MA'AM. WE JUST WANT TO ASK YOU BOYFRIEND A FEW QUESTIONS.

(mouths word)

WAIT!

AH.

HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND. HE'S MY FIANCE.

YES, RENEE PERRY HAD WAITED A LONG TIME FOR A PROPOSAL...

OKAY. NOW YOU CAN TAKE HIM.

AND SHE WASN'T ABOUT TO LET IT SLIP THROUGH HER FINGERS.

BREE VAN DE KAMP STARTED EVERY MORNING

BY CATCHING UP ON THE LATEST NEWS,

BUT SOMETIMES THE NEWS CAME FROM AN UNEXPECTED SOURCE.

HEY, BREE. LOOK WHAT HAPPENED TO MY HAND.

OH, MY GOODNESS!

ARE YOU--

WE'RE GETTING MARRIED.

OH, HOW WONDERFUL!

YEAH, WE'RE PRETTY HAPPY. "PRETTY HAPPY"?

OH, WE'RE ECSTATIC. KNICKERS TO THE WIND.

OVER THE MOON.

CONGRATULATIONS. WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?

LAST NIGHT. OH, AND GET THIS--

IN THE MIDDLE OF HIS BIG, ROMANTIC PROPOSAL,

THE COPS COME BY TO ASK ABOUT SOME DEAD BODY

THEY FOUND AT THE CONSTRUCTION SITE.

SO TELL ME MORE.

WELL, I DEFINITELY WANT A BIG WEDDING. BRIDESMAIDS, THE WORKS.

I WAS TALKING ABOUT THE BODY. WHAT DID THE POLICE SAY?

UH, NOT MUCH. YOU KNOW, I TOLD THEM

THAT I DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT IT, AND THEY BELIEVED ME.

GOOD.

ALTHOUGH I HAVE TO SAY,

I'M SURPRISED YOU DIDN'T TELL ME SOONER.

YOU KNOW... OH, WE'RE SORRY. UH, IT WAS LATE,

AND I WANTED TO TELL MY SISTER FIRST.

AGAIN, TALKING ABOUT THE BODY.

WHY WOULD WE TELL YOU THAT?

AND WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THIS AND NOT ME?

QUITE RIGHT. I-I JUST WOULD HATE TO SEE THIS TRAGIC NEWS

INTERFERE WITH YOUR HAPPY DAY.

AND I DON'T THINK IT WILL,

BUT I REALLY DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD WORRY ABOUT IT.

UH, THE POLICE DON'T SEEM LIKE THEY'RE GONNA POSE A PROBLEM.

THAT WAS JUDGE KEMP.

HE JUST SIGNED OFF ON THAT WARRANT.

FOR BREE VAN DE KAMP?

THAT WAS FAST.

I MIGHT'VE CALLED IN SOME FAVORS.

THE SOONER I CAN PROVE SHE'S GUILTY,

THE SOONER I CAN WATCH HER PAY FOR IT.

WE GOT ANOTHER ONE. UM, MITZI KINSKY.

"MIKE WAS A RAY OF SUNSHINE ON OUR STREET.

HE WILL BE MISSED DEARLY."

ISN'T THAT LOVELY? EVERYBODY'S BEEN SO GENEROUS.

YEAH. TEN JARS OF HOMEMADE JAM.

I DON'T KNOW IF SHE WAS BEING GENEROUS

OR JUST CLEANING OUT HER BASEMENT.

WELL, EITHER WAY, IT'S A GESTURE OF LOVE AND SUPPORT.

MAKES ME FEEL BETTER.

THERE IS MY BABY BOY.

MORNING, BUB.

EGGS ON A RAFT,

JUST THE WAY YOU LIKE 'EM.

(sniffs) THESE SMELL GROSS.

OKAY, UM, NOT A PROBLEM.

IS THERE SOMETHING ELSE YOU'D LIKE ME TO--

M.J. (plate clatters)

IT'S OKAY, HONEY.

UM, WHAT DO YOU WANT?

STRAWBERRY ICE CREAM.

UH, BUDDY, I DON'T THINK

THAT'S THE HEALTHIEST WAY TO START YOUR DAY.

I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK.

WELL...

MAYBE JUST THIS ONCE.

I'LL GET YOU A BOWL.

OR, UH, NO BOWL IS GOOD.

I'M GONNA EAT THIS IN FRONT OF THE TV.

CAN YOU BRING ME SOME SPRINKLES?

OF COURSE, HONEY.

UH, MOM.

WHAT? IT'S JUST ICE CREAM, OKAY?

HE LOST HIS DAD.

OKAY.

(M.J.) MOM, WHERE'S MY SPRINKLES?

COMING!

WHOA. WHAT'S... GOING ON HERE?

(chuckles) I THOUGHT I'D KICK OFF YOUR BIG RESIGNATION DAY

WITH A POWER BREAKFAST.

PLUS THE EXPIRATION ON THIS SAUSAGE WAS YESTERDAY.

I GOTTA SAY,

NOW THAT THE DAY IS FINALLY HERE,

I'M STARTING TO GET A LITTLE FREAKED OUT.

DON'T YOU WORRY.

I'VE MADE A DECISION.

I'M GETTING A JOB.

WHAT? YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT.

NO, I WANT TO. IT'S TIME I HELP OUT.

I OWE IT TO YOU.

(sighs) SO I WROTE UP A RESUME,

I BOOKED A MEETING AT AN EMPLOYMENT AGENCY,

AND I EVEN BOUGHT MYSELF A GIRLIE BRIEFCASE.

BUT I THOUGHT WE WERE JUST GONNA CUT BACK,

LIVE A SMALLER LIFE?

YEAH, I THOUGHT ABOUT THAT.

THEN I DECIDED I WANT A SLIGHTLY BIGGER LIFE,

SO I FIGURE IF I WORK,

THE GIRLS CAN STAY IN PRIVATE SCHOOL, WE CAN KEEP BOTH CARS,

AND MAYBE EVEN TAKE

ONE OF THOSE SKI TRIPS WE TALKED ABOUT CANCELING.

GABY, I LOVE THAT YOU'RE TRYING TO HELP,

BUT AN ENTRY-LEVEL SALARY IS NOT GONNA COVER THE COST OF SKIS,

LET ALONE FIVE NIGHTS AT THE RITZ.

WELL, MAYBE NOT NOW, BUT IF I WORK MY WAY UP THE LADDER,

IN A FEW YEARS, I'LL BE PULLING IN THE BIG BUCKS,

JUST LIKE YOU DO.

OR DID.

WHAT KIND OF LADDER ARE WE TALKING ABOUT HERE?

WHAT IS IT THAT YOU'RE GONNA DO?

I DON'T KNOW YET. THAT'S WHERE THE EMPLOYMENT LADY COMES IN.

SHE'S GONNA HELP ME FIGURE OUT

HOW TO BEST UTILIZE MY "SKILL SET."

YEAH, I READ THAT IN ONE OF YOUR BUSINESS MAGAZINES.

I'M PROUD OF YOU STEPPING UP LIKE THIS.

I HOPE YOU FIND A JOB THAT HAS HEALTH CARE,

'CAUSE MY BENEFITS END TODAY.

WHAT?

NO RISKY MEAT WITHOUT BENEFITS.

YEAH, DOUG AND I ELOPED,

SO THIS TIME, I WANT AN OVER-THE-TOP WEDDING--

HORSE-DRAWN CARRIAGES, FIREWORKS,

POODLES DYED PURPLE.

(chuckles)

UH, IS THIS WEIRD,

ME GOING ON ABOUT HOW HAPPY I AM

WHILE YOU'RE ALL SAD AND SINGLE?

ACTUALLY, I'M HOPING I WON'T BE SINGLE FOR LONG.

I'VE DECIDED TO TRY TO GET TOM BACK.

SO WE'RE DONE TALKING ABOUT ME?

YEAH. KINDA.

GREAT.

SO WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?

I FIGURE I'LL JUST COME CLEAN,

TELL HIM I SCREWED UP, AND BEG HIM TO COME BACK.

IT'S AMAZING YOU LANDED A MAN IN THE FIRST PLACE.

WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK I SHOULD DO?

OH. THROW YOURSELF AT HIM.

NEXT TIME HE STOPS BY, LET A BOOB FALL OUT OF YOUR BLOUSE

OR MAYBE BEND OVER IN THOSE TIGHT-ASS JEANS.

THAT'S NOT GONNA WORK.

YOU'RE RIGHT. SORRY.

WHAT DO I KNOW ABOUT GETTING A MAN?

OH, WAIT.

A LOT.

COME ON. HELP.

IT'S NOT GONNA BE EASY SPLITTING THEM UP.

THEY JUST MOVED IN TOGETHER AND THEY SEEM SO HAPPY.

OF COURSE THEY'RE HAPPY. THEY'RE IN THAT HONEYMOON PHASE.

THEY'RE STILL TAKING TRIPS,

LAUGHING AT EACH OTHER'S JOKES,

PRETENDING THEY'RE INTERESTED IN MUSEUMS.

WE HAD A HONEYMOON PHASE, TOO.

MAYBE I NEED TO REMIND HIM OF THAT.

WELL, REMIND HIM NAKED.

THE ONLY TRICKY PART IS GONNA BE GETTING HIM ALONE.

JANE WATCHES HIM LIKE A HAWK,

A TALL, BITCHY HAWK.

WELL, WHATEVER YOU DO, DO IT SOON.

I'M NOT GONNA WASTE A PLUS ONE AT MY WEDDING

UNLESS I KNOW IT'S SERIOUS.

HEY. MOM?

ANDREW!

OH!

IT'S WONDERFUL TO SEE YOU. HOW ARE YOU?

I'M GOOD. I'M GOOD. I'M REALLY GOOD.

REALLY? BECAUSE YOUR SISTER TOLD ME YOU LOST YOUR JOB.

I'VE BEEN SO WORRIED.

DIDN'T YOU GET ANY OF THE MESSAGES I LEFT?

I'VE JUST BEEN REALLY BUSY. UH, BUT EVERYTHING'S FINE.

IN FACT, I MET SOMEONE.

YOU DID? THAT'S WONDERFUL.

I KNOW HOW HARD YOUR BREAKUP FROM ALEX WAS.

I'M SO HAPPY THAT YOU'RE MOVING ON.

YEAH, WELL, YOU KNOW, IT'S ONLY BEEN A FEW MONTHS,

BUT, UH, IT'S PRETTY SERIOUS.

HOW SERIOUS?

SERIOUS ENOUGH THAT WE WERE DRIVING THROUGH TOWN,

AND I THOUGHT THE TWO OF YOU SHOULD MEET.

HE'S HERE?

OH.

UH, YEAH, WELL, I...

I WANT YOU TO KEEP AN OPEN MIND.

WHO'S THIS?

THIS IS MARY BETH,

MY FIANCEE.

I'M SO GLAD TO FINALLY MEET YOU.

I'VE BEEN TELLING THIS GUY

I CAN'T MARRY HIM UNTIL I MEET HIS MOM.

(chuckles)

SO YOU'RE REALLY ENGAGED

TO... EACH OTHER?

UH, YEAH.

YEAH, AND REMEMBER, YOU'RE HAPPY I'VE MOVED ON, RIGHT?

I JUST HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS.

I KNOW WHAT YOU MUST BE THINKING. IT'S TOO SOON.

NO, THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M THINKING.

MOM. (chuckles)

I'M SORRY. IT'S JUST THAT YOU'RE VERY DIFFERENT

THAN ALL OF THE OTHER... DATES ANDREW'S BROUGHT HOME.

WELL, YOU KNOW, PEOPLE CHANGE. (chuckles)

SO HOW DID YOU TWO MEET ANYWAY?

OH, IT'S A REAL CUTE STORY.

I WAS AT THE COMMUNITY CENTER

FOR MY OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS MEETING,

BUT I WENT INTO THE A.A. MEETING BY MISTAKE.

AND BY "MISTAKE,"

I MEAN I REMEMBERED HOW DRUNKS LOVE THEIR DOUGHNUTS.

SO AS I WAS REACHING FOR A BUTTERMILK GLAZED,

THERE WAS ANDREW.

YOU WERE IN OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS?

YEAH, I ACTUALLY LOST 220 POUNDS

AND THEN GAINED 160 POUNDS OF GRADE "A" BEEFCAKE!

(laughs)

ISN'T SHE ADORABLE?

UH-HUH.

ANDREW, WOULD YOU HELP ME IN THE KITCHEN?

I'D LIKE TO GET SOME TEA BISCUITS,

AND THEY'RE ON A VERY HIGH SHELF.

OOH, TEA BISCUITS.

46 CALORIES.

(lowered voice) ANDREW, I DO NOT UNDERSTAND.

WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?

LOOK, I-I KNOW IT'S NOT WHO YOU WERE EXPECTING,

BUT REMEMBER HOW YOU ALWAYS SAID THAT BEING GAY WAS JUST A PHASE,

THAT I-I JUST NEEDED TO MEET THE RIGHT GIRL?

WELL, YOU WERE RIGHT.

JUST BE HAPPY FOR ME.

(clock ticking)

(Julie) COME ON. BACK TO BED.

M.J., IT IS 2:00 IN THE MORNING.

YOU SHOULD BE IN BED.

(M.J.) YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?

(shooting sounds, beeping)

(scoffs)

HEY. TURN THAT BACK ON!

MNH-MNH.

GUYS?

WHAT'S GOING ON IN HERE?

I AM TRYING TO GET M.J. BACK TO BED.

I CAN'T SLEEP.

YEAH, WELL, BLOWING UP ALIENS ISN'T GONNA HELP.

COME ON.

NO, I WANNA PLAY MY GAME.

TURN IT BACK ON NOW!

SHH. SHH. DON'T GET UPSET.

YOU CAN FINISH YOUR GAME.

WHAT?

(shooting and beeping resumes)

(sighs) JUST FOR A LITTLE WHILE,

THEN YOU HAVE TO GO BACK TO BED, OKAY?

MOM, CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A SECOND?

I THINK YOU'RE MAKING A MISTAKE.

IT'S NOT THAT BIG A DEAL.

YES, IT IS.

LOOK, I KNOW WHAT HE'S GOING THROUGH IS AWFUL,

BUT THIS ISN'T HELPING.

HE'S TOTALLY TAKING ADVANTAGE OF YOU.

HE'S NOT TAKING ADVANTAGE.

HE'S TRAUMATIZED,

AND IT'S KILLING ME TO SEE WHAT HE'S GOING THROUGH,

SO IF I CAN GIVE HIM A LITTLE JOY

BY LETTING HIM PLAY VIDEO GAMES,

THAT'S WHAT I'M GONNA DO.

SO I'M LOOKING TO MAKE IN THE 6-FIGURE RANGE,

PLUS BENEFITS, OF COURSE.

AND I HAVE TWO YOUNG GIRLS, SO FLEXIBLE HOURS WOULD BE GOOD.

AND WE ALWAYS TAKE THIS BIG VACATION,

SO I'LL NEED TWO WEEKS OFF. MAYBE THREE.

YOU KNOW WHAT? JUST GIVE ME ALL OF AUGUST.

(singsongy) SO WHAT DO YOU GOT FOR ME?

A REALITY CHECK.

EXCUSE ME?

MRS. SOLIS, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO ADJUST YOUR EXPECTATIONS.

UP?

NO. HAVE YOU NOT BEEN READING THE NEWSPAPERS?

THE JOB MARKET RIGHT NOW IS BRUTAL.

I HAVE PEOPLE WITH PhDs THAT I CAN'T FIND JOBS FOR,

AND FRANKLY, YOUR JOB EXPERIENCE IS VERY LIMITED.

MODELING, MODELING, MODELING.

OKAY. OKAY. (scoffs) OKAY.

PRINT,

RUNWAY,

BOAT SHOW.

(chuckles) WHO'S THE JOB EXPERT HERE?

PLUS, THERE'S A 15-YEAR GAP HERE.

YEAH, TO BE A DOTING WIFE AND A LOVING MOTHER OF TWO.

YOU HAVE EXPERIENCE WITH CHILDREN. (types)

I HAVE A JOB AT A DAY CARE CENTER.

AND DEAL WITH OTHER PEOPLE'S KIDS?

I DON'T EVEN LIKE MY OWN.

LOOK, YOU DIDN'T GO TO COLLEGE,

YOU DIDN'T EVEN GRADUATE HIGH SCHOOL,

AND YOUR ONLY REFERENCES ARE

PHOTOGRAPHERS AND AGING ROCK STARS.

IN TODAY'S MARKET, YOU'RE BASICALLY UNEMPLOYABLE.

AND YOU ACTUALLY GET PAID FOR THIS?

SO NOW WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?

WELL, YOU COULD START PLANNING THAT AUGUST VACATION.

GABRIELLE SOLIS WAS DEPRESSED,

AND WHEN SHE WAS DEPRESSED,

NOTHING LIFTED HER SPIRITS LIKE A GOOD WORKOUT...

OF HER CREDIT CARD.

MAY I HELP YOU?

YEAH, UH, I JUST WANNA GET THAT LITTLE RED SCARF

I SAW IN THE WINDOW. THEN I'LL BE ON MY WAY.

ALL RIGHT.

ALTHOUGH THAT...

(inhales deeply) BLACK SHEATH DRESS WOULD GO PERFECT WITH IT.

MM.

(gasps) LOOK AT THOSE OVER-THE-KNEE BOOTS!

(gasps)

OKAY. WHO AM I KIDDING?

GET ME A DOUBLE CAPPUCCINO AND MUSCULAR STOCK BOY.

MAMA NEEDS A NEW PAIR OF EVERYTHING.

I SAID TAUPE. THIS IS CLEARLY BEIGE.

WE DON'T HAVE IT IN TAUPE.

SECOND FLOOR, THIRD MANNEQUIN FROM THE LEFT. LOOK ALIVE.

I'LL TRY THESE IN PLUM,

THESE IN LEOPARD,

THESE... OH, FORGET IT.

NO LADY WANTS TO SEE ANYTHING UNDER 4 INCHES.

YOU GO WITH YOU. YOU GO WITH YOU.

YOU GO AWAY.

NO ONE'S BEEN ABLE TO MAKE THAT ROMPER WORK.

SHOULD WE HELP HER?

STAY BACK. SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE'S DOING.

NAVY BLAZER, SILVER HOOP EARRINGS, PLATFORM WEDGE.

AND A RED PATENT LEATHER CLUTCH.

GENIUS! GENIUS.

EVERYTHING LOOKS AND SMELLS SO AMAZING, MRS. VAN DE KAMP.

DO YOU MIND IF I TAKE A PICTURE?

OF THE FOOD?

THAT WAY I EAT JUST A LITTLE BIT NOW,

AND THEN LATER, WHEN I'M HUNGRY,

I CAN LOOK AT THE PICTURE AND GET FULL ON THE MEMORY.

(camera shutter clicks) DON'T YOU JUST WANNA EAT HER UP?

NOT BEFORE I TAKE A PICTURE OF HER.

YOU KNOW, MARY BETH,

I JUST REALIZED I DON'T KNOW A THING ABOUT YOU.

WHAT DO YOU DO?

WELL, ACTUALLY, NOTHING.

MY PARENTS HAVE BEEN PRETTY GENEROUS.

OH, REALLY? WHAT, UH, SORT OF WORK ARE THEY IN?

NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, MOM.

NO, NO. IT'S OKAY.

THEY INVENTED MARY BETH'S FROZEN CUSTARD.

MARY BETH? YOU'RE THAT MARY BETH?

RECOGNIZE ME? THE KID ON THE CARTON?

(gasps) IT'S IN EVERY SUPERMARKET IN THE COUNTRY.

IT MUST BE A MULTIBILLION DOLLAR--

OH.

WOULD YOU HELP ME IN THE KITCHEN, ANDREW?

NOW. (utensils clatter)

(sighs)

ANDREW, I KNEW YOU WERE HAVING FINANCIAL TROUBLES,

BUT I NEVER THOUGHT YOU'D STOOP TO THIS.

WHAT? SHE'S AN HEIRESS.

YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY MARRYING HER FOR HER MONEY.

I'M MARRYING HER BECAUSE I'M CRAZY ABOUT HER.

WE LOVE THE SAME MOVIES. SHE MAKES ME LAUGH.

SHE GETS ME. SHE'S REALLY AN AMAZING GIRL.

(singsongy) I THINK I FOUND YOUR GOOD SIDE!

SMILE, GNOCCHI. (camera shutter clicks)

SHE'S DISTURBED.

OKAY. ALL RIGHT. SHE'S A LITTLE ECCENTRIC,

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? I LOVE HER.

ANDREW VAN DE KAMP, YOU LOVE ITALIAN SHOES.

YOU LOVE MID-CENTURY MODERN FURNITURE.

AND ACCORDING TO YOUR INTERNET HISTORY, YOU LOVE...

ARMY DOCTORS GIVING ELABORATE PHYSICALS TO YOUNG RECRUITS.

BUT YOU DO NOT LOVE GIRLS.

WHY CAN'T YOU ACCEPT THAT I'VE CHANGED?

BECAUSE HOMOSEXUALITY IS NOT A CHOICE.

YOU WERE BORN THIS WAY.

I'M THE ONE WHO TOLD YOU THAT.

AND IT TOOK ME A LONG TIME,

BUT I WAS FINALLY ABLE TO WRAP MY HEAD AROUND IT.

HONEY, YOU'RE HERE, YOU'RE QUEER, AND I'M USED TO IT.

YOU KNOW WHAT, MOM? I'M NOT HERE ANYMORE, ALL RIGHT?

MARY BETH, LET'S GO. (doors slide open)

(Lynette) HEY.

HOW WAS YOUR DAD'S?

FINE.

AW!

SHE WAS IN A BIT OF A MOOD,

BUT I STILL LOVE YOU UNCONDITIONALLY.

LET ME GUESS--DID IT HAVE SOMETHING TO DO

WITH A CERTAIN TAYLOR SWIFT CONCERT THIS THURSDAY NIGHT?

I'M JUST SAYING,

ALL MY FRIENDS' MOMS ARE TAKING THEM.

AND ALL YOUR FRIENDS' MOMS ARE GONNA BE DEAF FOR TWO WEEKS,

LIKE I WAS THE LAST TIME I WENT TO A CONCERT.

I'M NOT DOING IT.

IT'S NOT FAIR.

I AM GONNA GO GIVE PAIGE A BATH.

THANK YOU FOR BRINGING HER HOME.

(sighs) I'M GONNA GO GRAB YOUR SUITCASE. (kiss)

MOM!

PLEASE!

IT'D MAKE YOU THE BESTEST MOM IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD!

(Lynette) NOPE. THE MATTER IS CLOSED.

THIS SUCKS.

HEY.

YOU KNOW WHO ELSE LIKES TAYLOR SWIFT?

ME.

I MEAN, IF YOUR PARENTS ARE OKAY WITH IT, I'LL TAKE YOU.

OH, MY GOD!

OH! (laughs)

YOU'RE THE BEST! I'LL CHECK WITH MY MOM AND CALL YOU?

CAN'T WAIT.

OKAY! (chuckles)

SO?

TOTALLY WORKED.

YOU'LL HAVE DAD ALL TO YOURSELF THURSDAY NIGHT.

YOU ARE THE BESTEST GIRL IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD.

(chuckles)

(Carlos) GABY! (door closes)

HI, BABE.

WHAT IS THAT?

THIS?

IT'S A BOOT.

I BOUGHT A BOOT.

YOU BOUGHT... ONE BOOT?

YEP. 'CAUSE I'M FRUGAL.

ONE DAY I'LL BUY THE OTHER ONE.

THAT'S ALL YOU BOUGHT?

BECAUSE I GOT A CALL FROM THE BANK.

SEEMS SOMEBODY WAS GOING CRAZY WITH YOUR CREDIT CARD.

HUH. MAYBE IT WAS STOLEN.

YEAH.

BY A SIZE 0 WITH INCREDIBLY EXPENSIVE TASTE.

(bag rustles) WHAT IS THIS SHOPPING BAG DOING UNDER THE BED?

I BOUGHT A GIFT FOR A WOMAN

WHOSE HUSBAND IS IN IRAQ, FIGHTING FOR OUR FREEDOM.

GABY! YOU'RE TAKING IT ALL BACK.

I CAN'T.

NOT IF I'VE WORN IT.

(laughs)

CAN'T TAKE IT BACK. CAN'T TAKE IT BACK NOW.

SEE? IT'S ALL--

STOP. STOP. STOP. STOP. STOP!

OUR LIVES HAVE CHANGED. WE CAN'T AFFORD THIS ANYMORE.

NOT UNLESS YOU GOT SOME BIG JOB YOU HAVEN'T TOLD ME ABOUT.

(sighs) WHAT'S WRONG?

I MET WITH THAT JOB LADY.

BUT SHE BASICALLY SAID I'M NOT QUALIFIED TO DO ANYTHING.

I DIDN'T FINISH SCHOOL. I'VE NEVER HAD A REAL JOB.

THE ONLY THING I'VE EVER GOTTEN PAID FOR IS BEING PRETTY.

I JUST FEEL LIKE MY LIFE

HAS BEEN ONE BAD DECISION AFTER ANOTHER.

UH... WHAT ABOUT THE GIRLS?

WHAT ABOUT MARRYING ME?

THAT'S THE PART THAT HURTS THE MOST.

YOU GUYS ARE THE ONLY GOOD THING I'VE EVER DONE,

AND I FEEL LIKE I'M LETTING YOU DOWN.

(sighs) GABY...

YOU ARE SMART.

YOU'LL FIGURE SOMETHING OUT,

SOMETHING GREAT.

BUT IN THE MEANTIME,

ALL THESE CLOTHES

HAVE TO GO BACK.

I KNOW.

COULD YOU JUST GIVE US A MOMENT ALONE?

(telephone rings)

HELLO?

YES, THIS IS HIS MOTHER.

HE DID WHAT?

HE THREW A STAPLER AT YOU?

YES, RIGHT AT MY HEAD.

ARE YOU SURE IT WASN'T AN ACCIDENT?

HE COULDN'T HAVE BEEN AIMING AT YOUR HEAD.

WHAT HE SAID WAS--

AND I WROTE THIS DOWN BECAUSE I WANTED TO BE EXACT--

"LEAVE ME ALONE,

OR I'M GOING TO THROW THIS STAPLER AT YOUR HEAD."

I-I'M SO SORRY.

YOU DO KNOW THAT M.J. JUST LOST HIS FATHER, RIGHT?

I DO. MY HEART GOES OUT TO BOTH OF YOU.

BUT THERE IS NO PLACE FOR VIOLENCE IN MY CLASSROOM,

NO MATTER WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE AT HOME.

"CIRCUMSTANCES"?

UM...

I MEAN, IT'S NOT LIKE HE JUST LOST HIS FAVORITE TOY

OR A PET TURTLE.

HE... LOST HIS DAD.

YES, BUT IF M.J. HAD THROWN THAT STAPLER A LITTLE HARDER,

MY GRANDKIDS MIGHT HAVE LOST THEIR GRANDMOTHER.

WELL, I'M SURE THAT HE IS SORRY.

HE ISN'T. IN FACT, HE SAID--AND I QUOTE--

"BULL'S-EYE."

I'M CONSIDERING HAVING HIM REMOVED FROM MY CLASS.

OKAY. UH...

WHAT M.J. DID WAS WRONG,

BUT... I'M FINDING IT HARD TO BELIEVE

THAT A PERSON THAT SPENDS SO MUCH TIME WITH CHILDREN

COULD BE SO OBLIVIOUS TO A CHILD'S PAIN.

I HAVE 20 OTHER CHILDREN I NEED TO PROTECT.

AND M.J. IS A VERY ANGRY LITTLE BOY.

WELL, OF COURSE HE'S ANGRY.

HE'S 9,

AND ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT AND LOVING PEOPLE

IN HIS LIFE HAS JUST BEEN RIPPED AWAY FROM HIM,

AND NOW HE HAS TO LIVE WITH THE FACT

THAT HIS FATHER IS NEVER COMING BACK.

INSIDE VOICES, PLEASE.

OH, TO HELL WITH YOUR "INSIDE VOICES."

HIS FATHER IS DEAD.

MY HUSBAND IS DEAD!

(clatter)

OH! MY FOOT.

(indistinct conversations)

IT'S HER.

(murmuring)

WHY IS EVERYONE LOOKING AT ME? DID I DO SOMETHING WRONG?

NO. NO, IN FACT, WE HAVE DONE NOTHING

BUT TALK ABOUT YOUR SHOPPING SKILLS FOR THE LAST 24 HOURS.

REALLY?

YES. WE EVEN WENT BACK

AND WATCHED THE SECURITY TAPE TO SEE IT AGAIN.

WELL, KEEP THE TAPE. IT WAS MY LAST SHOW. (bag rustles)

WHAT? UH, CIRCUMSTANCES HAVE CHANGED.

MY SHOPPING DAYS ARE OVER. SO JUST DO ME A FAVOR.

WAIT TILL I'M GONE TO RESTOCK THE BOOTS.

I CAN'T CRY AGAIN TODAY.

UH, WAIT. WAIT.

UM, TAKE CARE OF THESE FOR MRS. SOLIS

AND BRING HER A GLASS OF CHAMPAGNE.

CHAMPAGNE? MM-HMM.

DID YOU NOT HEAR ME? I'M BROKE.

YOU HAVE NO REASON TO SUCK UP TO ME ANYMORE.

WELL, I DO IF I WANT YOU TO WORK HERE.

HUH?

YOU SEE, YOU'RE LIKE A... A SHOPPING SAVANT,

AND EVERY DAY, WOMEN COME IN HERE

WITH ALL THE MONEY IN THE WORLD AND NO CLUE WHAT TO SPEND IT ON.

YOU COULD HELP THEM.

YOU MEAN LIKE A PERSONAL SHOPPER JOB?

NO, DO NOT THINK OF IT AS A JOB.

FOR YOU, MY DEAR, IT IS A CALLING.

(sighs) I DON'T KNOW.

EMPLOYEES GET A 40% DISCOUNT.

HI. WELCOME TO CUMBERLY'S.

MY NAME'S GABRIELLE. CAN I HELP YOU?

***

I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR ACCEPTING MY APOLOGY

AND COMING OVER BEFORE YOU LEFT TOWN.

I FEEL LIKE I HAVEN'T HAD THE APPROPRIATE REACTION

TO THIS WEDDING.

NO. NO, NO, YOU'VE BEEN WONDERFUL.

WELL,

TO SHOW YOU HOW EXCITED I AM

THAT MY LITTLE BOY IS GETTING MARRIED,

I'VE THROWN YOU A SURPRISE ENGAGEMENT PARTY.

(dance music playing)

(indistinct conversations)

(laughter)

MOM, WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?

OH, I JUST INVITED SOME OF YOUR OLD FRIENDS OVER

TO CONGRATULATE YOU.

HEY, GIRL. I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN AGES.

THOSE SHOES ARE FEROSH.

WHO'S THIS HAG?

THIS IS ANDREW'S FIANCEE MARY BETH.

HI, MARY BETH. I'M BRIAN WITH AN "I."

THIS IS BRYAN WITH A "Y."

WHAT IS THIS ABOUT YOU GETTING MARRIED? WE NEED TO DISH.

UM, UH, SWEETIE, WHY DON'T--

WHY DON'T YOU GO IN THE KITCHEN AND GRAB A DRINK?

***

I JUST LOVE THOSE BOYS.

THEY USED TO BE HERE ALL THE TIME.

SO WHAT DID YOU THINK OF ANDREW'S FRIENDS?

THEY SEEM SWEET AND VERY WELL-GROOMED.

WELL, YEAH, BUT DON'T THEY SEEM,

I DON'T KNOW, A LITTLE... DISCO-Y?

MRS. VAN DE KAMP, I KNOW ANDREW'S GAY.

YOU DO?

WE'VE NEVER ACTUALLY MADE LOVE,

AND HE HAS A PICTURE OF MICHAEL PHELPS NEXT TO HIS BED.

SAYS IT'S PATRIOTIC, BUT...

I DON'T UNDERSTAND. IF YOU KNOW ABOUT HIM--

YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND,

I GREW UP FAT AND LONELY.

WHEN I LOST ALL THE WEIGHT,

I THOUGHT MEN WOULD LOOK AT ME DIFFERENTLY, BUT THEY DIDN'T.

I JUST KIND OF GAVE UP.

OH, MARY BETH.

BUT THEN I MET ANDREW. HE'S SWEET, FUN,

AND I JUST THOUGHT...

I COULD DO A LOT WORSE.

NO. NO. NO. NOW YOU LISTEN TO ME.

YOU DESERVE REAL ROMANCE AND PASSION IN YOUR LIFE.

I KNOW ALL ABOUT THIS.

I HAVE BEEN WITH PLENTY OF MEN FOR COMPANIONSHIP

WHEN IT SHOULD'VE BEEN FOR LOVE.

THE RIGHT MAN FOR YOU IS OUT THERE SOMEWHERE.

YOU JUST CAN'T SETTLE.

IT'S NOT FAIR TO YOU OR TO ANDREW.

***

(indistinct conversations)

I THINK WE NEED TO TALK.

ALL RIGHT.

(knock on door)

COMING!

COMING! COMING!

OKAY.

OH, NO.

HEY.

HEY. I-I CAME AS SOON AS I GOT YOUR MESSAGE.

SO POWER'S OUT, HUH?

I KNOW. THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING.

I JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH THE ELECTRIC COMPANY,

AND IT TURNS OUT IT'S A FAULTY LINE,

SO THEY'RE GONNA FIX IT FIRST THING TOMORROW MORNING.

SO YOU DON'T NEED ME TO LOOK AT ANYTHING OR--

I'M SORRY. I FEEL TERRIBLE DRAGGING YOU

ALL THE WAY OVER HERE,

SO YOU WANT SOMETHING FOR YOUR TROUBLE? A DRINK OR--

NAH. NO. NO. I DON'T-- I DON'T WANT TO BE IN YOUR HAIR.

NO, NO. YOU'RE NOT.

HONESTLY, IT'S A LITTLE SCARY

BEING ALL ALONE IN A DARK HOUSE. (chuckles)

HENCE THE HUNDREDS OF CANDLES.

YEAH, I DID GO A LITTLE OVERBOARD, HUH?

WHAT ARE YOU COOKING?

IT SMELLS AMAZING IN HERE.

YEAH? I'M TRYING OUT A NEW RECIPE FOR THE KIDS.

BEEF BOURGUIGNONNE.

BUT PENNY'S WITH JANE

AND PARKER'S HAVING PIZZA WITH THE MARTINDALES.

I LOVE BEEF BOURGUIGNONNE.

OH, THAT'S RIGHT. I TOTALLY FORGOT.

Y-YOU REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME WE TRIED IT?

NEW YORK. OUR SECOND ANNIVERSARY.

OH, THAT MUST BE WHERE I GOT THE IDEA.

I WAS JUST LOOKING AT PICTURES FROM THAT TRIP.

OH, YEAH? YOU--YOU GOT OUT THE OLD PHOTO ALBUM?

YEAH.

OH, HO HO. MAN!

LOOK AT US.

HEY.

WHY DON'T YOU STAY FOR DINNER? I'LL MAKE YOU A PLATE.

YEAH, I DON'T KNOW.

COME ON. JANE'S AT THE CONCERT.

WHAT WOULD YOU RATHER DO--

EAT A MICROWAVE DINNER ALL ALONE IN YOUR APARTMENT

OR...

BEEF BOURGUIGNONNE?

WELL...

I HATE FOR IT TO GO TO WASTE.

(chuckles)

(lid clatters)

WELL, I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY.

MARY BETH IS ON HER WAY BACK TO WISCONSIN.

I'M SORRY.

WHY ARE YOU SO CONCERNED ABOUT HER LIFE?

WHAT ABOUT ME?! I'M YOUR SON.

I DID THIS FOR YOU. CAN YOU LOOK ME IN THE EYE

AND TELL ME YOU WOULD'VE BEEN HAPPY

SPENDING THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH THAT WOMAN?

THAT MARRIAGE REALLY COULD HAVE HELPED ME OUT,

AND YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH HELP I NEED.

WHY? WHAT IS GOING ON?

WHERE DO I START? UM...

WELL, I TOOK A LOSS ON THE HOUSE THAT YOU GOT ME,

I, UH, I LOST MY JOB,

CAN'T FIND A NEW ONE.

I HAVE A TON OF CREDIT CARD DEBT,

AND MARY BETH WAS WILLING TO HELP ME OUT WITH ALL OF THAT.

WELL, SO WOULD I. WHY DIDN'T YOU COME TO ME FOR HELP?

DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO HAVE TO KEEP RUNNING BACK

TO YOUR MOTHER TO FIX YOUR PROBLEMS?

MY WHOLE LIFE, YOU'VE BEEN PROPPING ME UP--

WHEN I NEEDED A JOB, WHEN I WAS DUMPED, WHEN I WAS DRINKING.

I'M JUST--I'M SO TIRED

OF YOU SEEING ME AS A FAILURE.

ANDREW, IF YOU WOULD GO THROUGH ALL OF THIS

RATHER THAN COME TO ME FOR HELP,

THEN I AM THE ONE WHO'S FAILED.

(sighs)

HOW ABOUT WE JUST AGREE THAT WE BOTH FAILED?

SO WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO NOW?

I DON'T KNOW. I HAD A PRETTY GOOD SETUP THERE--

A PLACE TO LIVE, SOMEBODY WHO NEEDED ME,

ALL THE FROZEN CUSTARD I COULD EAT.

WELL, I DON'T HAVE ANY CUSTARD,

BUT I CAN OFFER YOU A PLACE TO STAY,

AND... SOMEONE ELSE WHO NEEDS YOU.

ALL RIGHT.

BUT JUST UNTIL I GET BACK ON MY FEET AGAIN.

NOW LET'S TALK ABOUT THAT PARTY.

I COULD SWEAR I SAW BRYAN WITH A "Y" CHECKING YOU OUT.

AH, WELL, ACTUALLY,

I AM MORE INTO GEOFFREY WITH A "G."

NOW THAT'S MY GAY SON. (chuckles)

GOD, LOOK AT ALL THE STUFF WE'RE DOING.

WE USED TO BE INTERESTING.

I KNOW. WE--WE HIKED. WE WENT TO THE THEATER.

WE--WE TOOK SALSA LESSONS.

AND THEN CAME THE KIDS.

AH, FUN KILLERS. HUH.

(chuckles)

MMM. THIS IS AMAZING. (fork clatters)

IT'S EVEN BETTER THAN THAT RESTAURANT IN NEW YORK.

I DON'T KNOW. THAT PLACE WAS PRETTY GOOD.

HOW DID WE EVEN FIND IT?

YOU DON'T REMEMBER? MNH-MNH.

WE GOT CAUGHT IN THAT TORRENTIAL DOWNPOUR.

WE DUCKED IN THERE TO DRY OFF.

RIGHT. AND THEN THE OWNER INSISTED

ON MAKING US A SPECIAL MEAL

BECAUSE WE HAD THAT NEWLYWED LOOK. (chuckles)

A LOT OF WATER UNDER THAT BRIDGE, HUH?

YEAH, BUT IT WAS A PRETTY STRONG BRIDGE.

LOOK HOW YOUNG WE WERE.

YEAH.

(laughs)

BACK THEN I COULD ACTUALLY SEE WITHOUT MY READING GLASSES.

HERE YOU GO. BEST I CAN DO FOR LIGHT.

THANK YOU.

OH.

HA HA HA.

I'M GLAD YOU KEPT THESE.

GOOD MEMORIES, HUH?

YEAH.

YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES YOU JUST GET...

OVERWHELMED BY WORK AND...

KIDS AND LIFE, AND IT'S JUST...

SO EASY TO...

FORGET.

YEAH.

YEAH, IT IS.

(flame whooshes)

I'M ON FIRE.

OH, MY GOD. OH, MY GOD! I'M ON FIRE!

OH! OH, MY GOD! OH!

AH!

UH...

OH. (sighs)

ARE YOU OKAY?

I THINK I BURNT THE SKIN.

OH, JEEZ. LET ME SEE.

(switch clicks)

(sighs)

OH, IT DOESN'T LOOK SO BAD.

I THOUGHT THE POWER WAS OUT.

THEY MUST HAVE... FIXED IT.

YOU SET THIS UP.

YOU KNOW, IN--IN MY DEFENSE, I--

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?

I JUST WANTED TO SEE WHERE WE STOOD,

IF THERE WAS STILL ANYTHING BETWEEN US,

IF WE COULD FIND OUR WAY BACK TO THOSE PEOPLE IN THE PICTURES.

BY TRICKING ME?

I'M--I'M SORRY ABOUT HOW I DID IT,

BUT YOU CAN'T DENY WHAT JUST HAPPENED.

YOU STILL FEEL SOMETHING.

JANE JUST MOVED IN WITH ME,

AND YOU DO THIS NOW?

(door opens)

(door closes)

HEY, MOM.

HEY. HOW WAS THE CONCERT?

AWESOME.

HOW'D IT GO WITH DAD?

NOT SO AWESOME.

YEAH, I KINDA GOT THAT FROM THE SWEATPANTS.

MM. COME HERE, YOU.

HI.

MM. HI. (kisses and chuckles)

SO NOW WHAT?

I... DON'T KNOW.

WELL, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT YOU CAN'T DO.

MM?

GIVE UP.

TAYLOR SWIFT HAS THIS SONG...

MM. MM-HMM.

"YOU BELONG WITH ME." IT'S...

ABOUT HOW SHE WON'T STOP LOVING THIS GUY

EVEN THOUGH HE'S WITH THE WRONG GIRL.

AND WHEN SHE SANG IT TONIGHT,

ALL I COULD THINK ABOUT WAS YOU AND DAD.

AND THIS GUY SHE LOVES--

DOES HE EVENTUALLY COME TO HIS SENSES?

(scoffs) IT WOULDN'T BE A VERY GOOD VIDEO IF HE DIDN'T.

AND DON'T WORRY.

DAD WILL, TOO.

YOU THINK?

MOM, YOU'RE FIGHTING FOR HIM.

WHAT GUY DOESN'T LIKE THAT?

(chuckles)

YOU KNOW...

WHEN YOU SAY SOMETHING REALLY SMART LIKE THAT,

IT MAKES ME THINK I DID A REALLY GOOD JOB.

YOU THINK IT'S GONNA BLISTER?

IT'S A FIRST-DEGREE BURN.

TOM, YOU'LL BE FINE.

BUT AS YOUR PHYSICIAN,

LET ME RECOMMEND-- NO MORE CANDLELIT BATHS ALONE.

YEAH, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING.

WELL, THE GOOD NEWS IS I CAN DECLARE YOU HEALTHY ENOUGH

FOR ANY AND ALL SEXUAL ACTIVITY.

ACTUALLY...

I NEED TO GET SOME WORK DONE.

OH.

OKAY.

WELL, THE NICE THING ABOUT US LIVING TOGETHER--

IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND, YOU KNOW WHERE TO FIND ME.

OKAY.

THAT'S THE LAST OF THEM.

OKAY.

ACTUALLY, WE'RE NOT DONE HERE.

I WANT TO TALK TO YOU.

IS THIS ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED AT SCHOOL?

YES.

YOU NEED TO KNOW THAT IT IS NEVER OKAY

TO THROW A STAPLER AT SOMEONE.

I KNOW.

IT'S ALSO NEVER OKAY

TO SWEEP A BUNCH OF STUFF OFF SOMEONE'S DESK

BECAUSE YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT THEY'RE SAYING ABOUT YOUR SON.

PARTICULARLY IF THEY'VE JUST HAD BUNION SURGERY.

YOU DID THAT TO MRS. BUTTERS?

I'M NOT PROUD OF IT, BUT YEAH.

I WAS REALLY MAD.

JUST LIKE YOU.

M.J., SOMETHING HORRIBLE HAPPENED TO YOU,

AND EVERY TIME YOU STARTED TO GET ANGRY ABOUT IT,

I WANTED TO COVER IT UP WITH ICE CREAM OR VIDEO GAMES,

BUT THE TRUTH IS, WE SHOULDN'T COVER IT UP.

WE SHOULD LET IT OUT.

NOW WE CAN'T HURT PEOPLE...

BUT WE CAN...

HURT JAM.

AH.

(sighs)

(grunts)

MOM!

PEOPLE SENT US THIS TO HELP US FEEL BETTER,

AND IT'S GOING TO,

JUST NOT IN THE WAY THEY THOUGHT.

(grunts)

COME ON, BUDDY.

YOU GOT A LOT TO BE ANGRY ABOUT.

(voice breaking) WHAT HAPPENED... SUCKS.

(glass shatters) (grunts)

OH, SWEETIE.

(sniffles and cries)

I LOVE YOU.

I LOVE YOU.

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

THAT'S A CAKE I MADE FOR A WEDDING A FEW YEARS AGO.

I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GONNA SAY.

IT'S TOO EXTRAVAGANT. IT'S NOT BIG ENOUGH.

OH. WELL, I SUPPOSE WE COULD ADD ANOTHER TIER.

MAKE IT TWO.

I REALLY APPRECIATE THIS, BREE.

BEN IS SUCH A GUY.

HE'S NOT GONNA BE ANY HELP PLANNING THIS WEDDING.

YES, ESPECIALLY SINCE HE'S DEALING

WITH THE NASTY BUSINESS OF THE BODY.

OH, THAT? NO, BEN'S IN THE CLEAR.

REALLY?

YEAH, THE COPS CALLED THIS MORNING.

UH, THEY FIGURED OUT THE GUY THEY FOUND

DIED EIGHT MONTHS AGO.

THAT WAS WAY BEFORE BEN STARTED CONSTRUCTION.

OH.

YEAH, THE COPS THINK THE GUY WAS JUST SOME POOR DRIFTER.

ANYWAY, IT'S OVER.

OH, GOOD.

WELL, NOW WE CAN FOCUS ALL OUR ENERGY

ON GIVING YOU THE BEST WEDDING IN THE WORLD.

TOMORROW WE'LL START OUR PLANNING.

YES, IN LIFE,

WHEN WE SEE AN OPPORTUNITY, WE HAVE TO TAKE IT,

WHETHER IT'S THE HOPE

OF WINNING BACK THE LOVE OF OUR LIFE...

A SHOT AT PROVING OUR WORTH...

OR THE CHANCE TO SHOW A CHILD THE RIGHT PATH.

(telephone ringing)

BUT SOMETIMES WHEN WE ANSWER THE CALL...

(beep) HELLO?

Hi. It's Bree.

(click) WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT OPPORTUNITY AWAITS US.

RENEE JUST TOLD ME THE GOOD NEWS,

AND I WANTED TO THANK YOU FOR KEEPING MY SECRET.

AH, NO WORRIES. I TOLD YOU I WOULD.

I know, but even when suspicion moved on to you,

you still protected me, and that's very honorable.

Really, it was no big deal.

Maybe not to you.

You're not the one who put a body in the ground.

You have to understand, a day doesn't go by

when that does not weigh heavily on my conscience.

GOTCHA.