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1
00:00:00,468 --> 00:00:01,702
PREVIOUSLY ON...
2
00:00:01,735 --> 00:00:03,071
(laughs)
LADIES.
3
00:00:03,104 --> 00:00:05,239
RENEE WAS CHARMED
BY THE NEW NEIGHBOR.
4
00:00:05,273 --> 00:00:06,807
DIBS.
5
00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:10,044
TRYING TO PROTECT GABY,
CARLOS COMMITTED MURDER.
6
00:00:10,078 --> 00:00:14,482
WE ARE NEVER GONNA BE ABLE
TO TELL ANYBODY ABOUT THIS.
7
00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:16,150
ARE YOU GONNA BE ABLE
TO LIVE WITH THAT?
8
00:00:16,184 --> 00:00:18,752
AND THE WOMEN SWORE TO KEEP
THE SECRET.
9
00:00:18,786 --> 00:00:22,123
BUT THEN BREE
RECEIVED A WARNING.
10
00:00:29,430 --> 00:00:30,698
(Mary Alice) WHEN I WAS ALIVE,
11
00:00:30,731 --> 00:00:35,369
BREE VAN DE KAMP
WAS ONE OF MY CLOSEST FRIENDS.
12
00:00:35,403 --> 00:00:40,841
MAYBE THAT'S BECAUSE WE HAD
SO MUCH IN COMMON.
13
00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:45,613
LIKE BREE, I ALSO RECEIVED
A MENACING LETTER--
14
00:00:45,646 --> 00:00:48,516
ONE THAT THREATENED TO SHATTER
THE PERFECT LIFE
15
00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:52,753
I HAD WORKED SO HARD TO CREATE.
16
00:00:52,786 --> 00:00:58,559
YOU SEE, I HAD ONCE COMMITTED
A DESPERATE ACT OF MY OWN.
17
00:00:58,592 --> 00:01:02,796
AND DESPITE MY BEST EFFORTS
TO CONCEAL IT,
18
00:01:02,830 --> 00:01:07,501
SOMEONE FOUND OUT AND WAS
DETERMINED TO EXPOSE ME.
19
00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:12,806
I THOUGHT ABOUT
TELLING MY FRIENDS.
20
00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:17,178
BUT I DECIDED
NOT TO BURDEN THEM.
21
00:01:17,211 --> 00:01:20,681
I HAD HOPED
THAT WITH ONE FINAL ACT,
22
00:01:20,714 --> 00:01:23,651
I COULD CONSIGN MY DEEDS
TO HISTORY.
23
00:01:23,684 --> 00:01:26,687
BUT I HAD FORGOTTEN
THAT HISTORY...
(click)
24
00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:30,524
HAS A WAY OF REPEATING ITSELF.
25
00:01:34,628 --> 00:01:37,165
SOMETHING INTERESTING?
(gasps)
26
00:01:37,165 --> 00:01:41,802
NO. NO, JUST A... LETTER...
27
00:01:41,835 --> 00:01:45,539
FROM A FRIEND WHO I HAVEN'T,
UH, HEARD FROM IN A WHILE.
28
00:01:45,573 --> 00:01:47,575
YOU OKAY?
29
00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:49,710
I'M FINE.
30
00:01:49,743 --> 00:01:51,412
I'M JUST ANNOYED
31
00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:55,883
BECAUSE THE, UH, POSTMAN LEFT ME
GABY'S WATER BILL AGAIN.
32
00:01:55,916 --> 00:01:58,686
YOU GO IN. I'LL JUST
PUT IT BACK IN THE BOX.
33
00:01:58,719 --> 00:02:01,189
ALL RIGHT.
34
00:02:04,658 --> 00:02:06,794
(door closes)
35
00:02:16,604 --> 00:02:17,938
(gasps) OH, KAREN.
36
00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:20,708
YOU SCARED ME. WHAT ARE
YOU DOING OUT SO LATE?
37
00:02:20,741 --> 00:02:23,877
WHAT AM I, A CAT? I'M ALLOWED
TO BE OUT PAST 10:00.
38
00:02:23,911 --> 00:02:28,349
I'M SORRY. HAVE YOU SEEN
ANYONE NEAR MY MAILBOX?
39
00:02:28,382 --> 00:02:29,750
WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
40
00:02:29,783 --> 00:02:34,322
I JUST... GOT A LETTER.
41
00:02:34,355 --> 00:02:35,423
AN OBSCENE LETTER.
42
00:02:35,456 --> 00:02:36,790
THAT'S ALL?
43
00:02:36,824 --> 00:02:39,493
YOU OUGHTA BE HAPPY THAT SOMEONE
STILL FINDS YOU OBSCENE.
44
00:02:39,527 --> 00:02:42,463
LAST WEEK, I GOT CALLED "SIR"
THREE TIMES.
45
00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:44,465
KAREN! THIS IS SERIOUS.
46
00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:46,900
I NEED TO FIND OUT WHO PUT
THIS LETTER IN MY MAILBOX.
47
00:02:46,934 --> 00:02:49,837
WOW,
YOU'RE REALLY SHAKEN UP.
48
00:02:49,870 --> 00:02:52,306
YES, I AM.
49
00:02:52,340 --> 00:02:53,441
THIS IS VERY UPSETTING,
50
00:02:53,474 --> 00:02:55,809
AND I DON'T KNOW
WHAT I'M GOING TO DO.
51
00:02:55,843 --> 00:02:58,812
IT'S JUST A NOTE, BREE.
LET IT GO.
52
00:03:01,949 --> 00:03:06,887
YES, BREE VAN DE KAMP AND I
HAD SO MUCH IN COMMON.
53
00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:10,758
WE SHARED SIMILAR LIVES.
54
00:03:10,791 --> 00:03:13,694
AND NOW BREE
FOUND HERSELF PRAYING
55
00:03:13,727 --> 00:03:17,465
THAT WE WOULDN'T
SHARE A SIMILAR FATE.
56
00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:32,780
IN THE DIVIDED WORLD
OF THE SUBURBS,
57
00:03:32,813 --> 00:03:36,684
EVERYONE IS LOOKING
FOR A WAY TO CONNECT.
58
00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:41,655
THEY FEND OFF LONELINESS
WITH CASUAL CONVERSATION.
59
00:03:41,689 --> 00:03:46,760
THEY SHARE OLD TREASURES
WITH A YOUNG FRIEND.
60
00:03:46,794 --> 00:03:51,299
THEY HELP A NEIGHBOR
MAKE A DIFFICULT MOVE.
61
00:03:53,501 --> 00:03:55,369
BUT FOR CARLOS AND GABY SOLIS,
62
00:03:55,403 --> 00:03:57,805
THE ONLY CONNECTION
THAT MATTERED
63
00:03:57,838 --> 00:04:00,841
WAS THE ROMANTIC ONE.
64
00:04:00,874 --> 00:04:03,711
AND WHEN IT CAME
TO MAINTAINING IT,
65
00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:08,316
GABY WAS WILLING TO PULL OUT
ALL THE STOPS.
66
00:04:08,316 --> 00:04:09,049
(pop)
67
00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:11,785
(sighs)
WHAT ARE WE CELEBRATING?
68
00:04:11,819 --> 00:04:14,555
A NEW RECORD. IT'S BEEN 38 DAYS
SINCE WE LAST HAD SEX,
69
00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:17,057
AND THAT STREAK
IS ENDING TONIGHT.
70
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:18,426
SERIOUSLY,
IT'S BEEN THAT LONG?
71
00:04:18,459 --> 00:04:20,328
38 DAYS.
72
00:04:20,361 --> 00:04:22,696
THAT'S LIKE THREE YEARS
IN HOO-HAH TIME.
73
00:04:22,730 --> 00:04:24,398
(chuckles)
SWEETIE, I WOULD LOVE TO,
74
00:04:24,432 --> 00:04:26,033
BUT I HAVE WAY
TOO MUCH WORK TO DO.
75
00:04:26,066 --> 00:04:28,602
UNH-UNH. NO, NO.
NO EXCUSES.
76
00:04:28,636 --> 00:04:30,704
I CHANGED THE SHEETS,
SHAVED MY LEGS,
77
00:04:30,738 --> 00:04:32,072
AND DUMPED THE KIDS
AT McCLUSKEY'S,
78
00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:35,343
SO DROP YOUR PANTS, COWBOY,
AND SADDLE UP.
79
00:04:36,844 --> 00:04:38,045
YES, MA'AM.
80
00:04:38,078 --> 00:04:41,449
OH! (laughing)
81
00:04:47,755 --> 00:04:51,058
DON'T FEEL BAD.
IT HAPPENS TO LOTS OF MEN.
82
00:04:51,091 --> 00:04:54,795
NOT TO ME. NOT TO US.
83
00:04:54,828 --> 00:04:56,063
(sighs)
84
00:04:56,096 --> 00:04:57,765
WELL, IT HAS BEEN 38 DAYS.
85
00:04:57,798 --> 00:04:59,800
MAYBE THE POOR LITTLE GUY
FORGOT WHAT TO DO.
86
00:04:59,833 --> 00:05:01,034
NOT HELPING.
87
00:05:01,068 --> 00:05:02,102
OH.
88
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:05,105
LISTEN, YOU'VE BEEN UNDER
A LOT OF STRESS LATELY.
89
00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:07,708
SO RELAX.
90
00:05:07,741 --> 00:05:09,009
HOW ABOUT I GIVE YOU
A NICE MASSAGE,
91
00:05:09,042 --> 00:05:11,779
WE FINISH THE CHAMPAGNE,
AND LATER WE TRY AGAIN?
92
00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:14,682
GABY, THANKS, BUT IT'S
NOT GONNA WORK, OKAY?
93
00:05:20,053 --> 00:05:21,855
(sighs)
94
00:05:23,457 --> 00:05:28,596
LIKE CARLOS, SUSAN DELFINO
WAS ALSO FEELING DISCONNECTED.
95
00:05:28,629 --> 00:05:33,467
HER GUILT MADE THE WORLD
A STRANGE AND SCARY PLACE...
96
00:05:33,501 --> 00:05:35,569
(brakes squeal)
97
00:05:35,603 --> 00:05:39,707
WHERE SHE COULD BE EXPOSED
AT ANY MOMENT.
98
00:05:39,740 --> 00:05:43,811
HEY! HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!
99
00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:45,746
I KNOW WHAT YOU DID.
100
00:05:45,779 --> 00:05:47,014
WHAT?
101
00:05:47,047 --> 00:05:48,816
YEAH, AND YOU'RE NOT
GETTING AWAY WITH IT.
102
00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:51,018
YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD WALK OUT
WITH A CASE OF SODA
103
00:05:51,051 --> 00:05:52,420
AND NO ONE WOULD NOTICE?
104
00:05:52,453 --> 00:05:56,690
OH. UH... (laughs)
105
00:05:56,724 --> 00:05:58,626
I-I FORGOT
THOSE WERE DOWN THERE.
106
00:05:58,659 --> 00:06:01,629
YEAH. RIGHT. I'VE NEVER
HEARD THAT ONE BEFORE.
107
00:06:01,662 --> 00:06:03,797
MA'AM, I'M GONNA ASK YOU
TO STEP AWAY FROM THE CART
108
00:06:03,831 --> 00:06:05,666
AND KEEP YOUR HANDS
WHERE I CAN SEE 'EM.
109
00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:07,000
(panting)
EVERYTHING OKAY HERE?
110
00:06:07,034 --> 00:06:08,769
IF YOU CONSIDER
LARCENY OKAY.
111
00:06:08,802 --> 00:06:10,504
MRS. DELFINO,
112
00:06:10,538 --> 00:06:13,974
ON BEHALF OF FAIRVIEW MARKET,
I'D LIKE TO APOLOGIZE FOR KEVIN.
113
00:06:14,007 --> 00:06:14,908
SEEMS WE'RE ALL PAYING THE PRICE
114
00:06:14,942 --> 00:06:17,745
FOR HIS REJECTION
FROM THE POLICE ACADEMY.
115
00:06:17,778 --> 00:06:20,448
OH, WELL, EXCUSE ME FOR
NOT WANTING TO LIVE IN A WORLD
116
00:06:20,448 --> 00:06:21,615
WHERE PEOPLE
CAN COMMIT CRIMES
117
00:06:21,649 --> 00:06:23,684
WITHOUT SUFFERING
THE CONSEQUENCES.
118
00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:26,153
YOU ARE A CRIMINAL.
119
00:06:26,186 --> 00:06:30,190
I'VE KNOWN MRS. DELFINO
FOR YEARS.
120
00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:32,660
SHE PAYS FOR THE GRAPES
SHE EATS IN THE PRODUCE SECTION.
121
00:06:32,693 --> 00:06:35,696
SHE WOULD NEVER DO
ANYTHING BAD.
122
00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:37,731
SURE, I WOULD.
123
00:06:37,765 --> 00:06:39,032
WHAT?
124
00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:41,669
YOU DON'T KNOW ME AT ALL.
125
00:06:41,702 --> 00:06:44,705
I'M A VERY BAD PERSON.
I DID A HORRIBLE THING.
126
00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:46,540
I DESERVE TO BE PUNISHED.
127
00:06:46,574 --> 00:06:49,543
LET ME CUFF HER. I HAVE CUFFS.
I BROUGHT 'EM FROM HOME.
128
00:06:49,577 --> 00:06:50,544
NO ONE'S GETTING CUFFED.
129
00:06:50,578 --> 00:06:53,714
JUST... PAY FOR THE SODA
NEXT TIME YOU COME IN.
130
00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:56,016
NO, NO, NO.
NO, YOU NEED TO MARCH ME INSIDE
131
00:06:56,049 --> 00:06:58,686
AND MAKE ME PAY NOW.
MRS. DELFINO--
132
00:06:58,719 --> 00:07:00,521
I'M SERIOUS.
133
00:07:00,554 --> 00:07:01,589
(clicking)
134
00:07:01,622 --> 00:07:06,159
MAKE AN EXAMPLE OF ME
TO DETER OTHER CRIMINALS.
135
00:07:08,195 --> 00:07:10,063
FINE. TAKE HER IN.
COPY THAT.
136
00:07:12,199 --> 00:07:16,103
YEP. DID THE CRIME.
DOING THE TIME.
137
00:07:16,136 --> 00:07:19,740
DEAD MAN WALKING.
138
00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:23,243
(sighs)
139
00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:24,778
SO WHAT'S THE DAMAGE?
140
00:07:24,812 --> 00:07:26,947
AN ARM AND A LEG?
JUST AN ARM?
141
00:07:26,980 --> 00:07:29,216
(sighs) NOT EVEN A FINGER.
IT'S A CRACKED FITTING.
142
00:07:29,249 --> 00:07:30,718
I SWAPPED IT OUT.
IT'S NO CHARGE.
143
00:07:30,751 --> 00:07:32,753
REALLY?
THE FIRST GUY I CALLED
144
00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:34,221
SAID I HAD TO RE-PIPE
THE WHOLE HOUSE.
145
00:07:34,254 --> 00:07:35,756
OH, IT'S A SCAM.
146
00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:37,257
THESE PIPES ARE
TOP-OF-THE-LINE COPPER.
147
00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:39,660
THE GUY THAT PUT 'EM IN
DID A GREAT JOB.
148
00:07:39,693 --> 00:07:42,963
HOW DO YOU KNOW?
IT WAS ME. (chuckles)
149
00:07:42,996 --> 00:07:45,165
YOU JUST SAVED ME 10 GRAND.
150
00:07:45,198 --> 00:07:47,234
NO WONDER PEOPLE SAY
SUCH GOOD THINGS ABOUT YOU.
151
00:07:47,267 --> 00:07:49,903
(laughs) WELL...
152
00:07:49,937 --> 00:07:51,772
WHAT ARE NEIGHBORS FOR?
153
00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:53,807
NEED ANYTHING ELSE,
JUST HOLLER.
154
00:07:53,841 --> 00:07:57,745
ACTUALLY,
THERE IS ONE THING.
155
00:07:57,778 --> 00:07:59,046
I'M A REAL ESTATE DEVELOPER,
156
00:07:59,079 --> 00:08:01,214
ABOUT TO BREAK GROUND
ON A NEW PROJECT,
157
00:08:01,248 --> 00:08:03,717
AND, UH, I'M LOOKING
FOR SOME HELP--
158
00:08:03,751 --> 00:08:05,953
LOCAL GUYS
THAT I CAN TRUST.
159
00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:07,054
YOU INTERESTED?
160
00:08:07,087 --> 00:08:10,691
(sets box down)
161
00:08:17,798 --> 00:08:19,967
HEY, MIKE. GOT A MINUTE?
162
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,802
UM... HEY, RENEE.
163
00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:23,671
WE'RE FRIENDS, RIGHT?
164
00:08:23,704 --> 00:08:24,938
WELL...
165
00:08:24,972 --> 00:08:27,240
OH, COME ON.
YOU FIXED MY TOILET FOR FREE.
166
00:08:27,274 --> 00:08:29,643
UM, THAT WASN'T FREE.
I SENT YOU A BILL.
167
00:08:29,677 --> 00:08:31,044
YOU JUST HAVEN'T PAID IT.
168
00:08:31,078 --> 00:08:35,115
(laughs)
169
00:08:35,148 --> 00:08:38,619
AHH. ANYWAY, LOOK,
HERE'S THE DEAL.
170
00:08:38,652 --> 00:08:42,690
UH, BEN LIKES ME.
HE JUST DOESN'T KNOW IT YET.
171
00:08:42,723 --> 00:08:46,026
NOW I NEED TO FIND THAT THING
THAT WE CONNECT ON.
172
00:08:46,059 --> 00:08:49,162
YOU'VE BEEN ON THE INSIDE.
WHAT CAN YOU TELL ME ABOUT HIM?
173
00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:53,000
WELL, HE'S GOT COPPER PIPES.
174
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:54,001
SOMETHING PERSONAL.
175
00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:57,671
I SAW A BOX OF CHEERIOS...
AND A COFFEEMAKER.
176
00:08:57,705 --> 00:09:00,107
HE MUST LIKE COFFEE.
UNLESS IT'S FOR GUESTS.
177
00:09:00,140 --> 00:09:02,209
OH, MY GOD. I GOT MORE
OUT OF THE CABLE GUY,
178
00:09:02,242 --> 00:09:03,644
AND HE'S DEAF.
179
00:09:03,677 --> 00:09:06,947
DOES HE HAVE ANY PHOTOS?
ARTWORK? THINK, DELFINO, THINK!
(pounds door)
180
00:09:06,980 --> 00:09:08,081
OKAY.
181
00:09:08,115 --> 00:09:10,618
OKAY. UM...
182
00:09:10,651 --> 00:09:11,952
THERE WAS THIS PLAQUE
FROM THE MAYOR--
183
00:09:11,985 --> 00:09:14,021
SOMETHING ABOUT HIS WORK
WITH THE ELDERLY.
184
00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:15,122
REALLY?
185
00:09:15,155 --> 00:09:18,792
HE LIKES THE ELDERLY?
186
00:09:18,826 --> 00:09:20,628
WELL, I LIKE THE ELDERLY.
187
00:09:20,628 --> 00:09:22,162
SINCE WHEN?
188
00:09:22,195 --> 00:09:24,665
OH. OLD PEOPLE
ARE ADORABLE.
189
00:09:24,698 --> 00:09:27,134
I LOVE
THEIR LITTLE RAISIN FACES
190
00:09:27,167 --> 00:09:29,970
AND THOSE TENNIS BALLS
THEY PUT ON THEIR WALKERS.
191
00:09:30,003 --> 00:09:31,772
THANKS FOR THE TIP...
192
00:09:31,805 --> 00:09:34,708
FRIEND.
193
00:09:34,742 --> 00:09:36,944
(sighs)
194
00:09:36,977 --> 00:09:38,979
(door opens)
195
00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:40,080
MOM!
196
00:09:40,113 --> 00:09:41,148
HEY, HOW WAS YOUR DAY?
197
00:09:41,181 --> 00:09:43,651
AWESOME.
DAD'S HOTEL IS SO COOL.
198
00:09:43,684 --> 00:09:45,185
WE WENT SWIMMING IN THE POOL
AND PLAYED MARCO POLO
199
00:09:45,218 --> 00:09:47,154
AND CANNONBALLED
OFF THE DIVING BOARD.
200
00:09:47,187 --> 00:09:48,388
WHY DON'T WE HAVE A POOL?
201
00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:50,090
AND THEN WE GOT HAMBURGERS
AND FRENCH FRIES
202
00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:51,959
AND SUPER-SIZED
CHERRY COLA SLUSHIES.
203
00:09:51,992 --> 00:09:54,662
(slurps)
AH. SUGAR AND CAFFEINE.
204
00:09:54,662 --> 00:09:56,964
I GUESS YOU FIGURED
THEY WERE TOO YOUNG FOR METH?
205
00:09:56,997 --> 00:09:59,066
IT'S JUST A SLUSHIE.
206
00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:00,133
ON A SCHOOL NIGHT.
SHE'S GONNA BE UP TILL 2:00 A.M.
207
00:10:00,167 --> 00:10:02,169
JUST 'CAUSE YOU COULDN'T
SAY "NO."
208
00:10:02,202 --> 00:10:03,804
YOU'RE BLOWING THIS
OUT OF PROPORTION.
209
00:10:03,837 --> 00:10:04,905
WHO WANTS TO PLAY MEGA MONOPOLY?
210
00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:07,140
IT'S JUST LIKE REGULAR MONOPOLY
BUT WITH MORE STUFF.
211
00:10:07,174 --> 00:10:09,643
YOU JUST KEEP PLAYING
AND PLAYING
212
00:10:09,677 --> 00:10:10,878
AND PLAYING AND PLAYING
AND PLAYING...
213
00:10:10,911 --> 00:10:12,946
YEAH. WAY OUT OF PROPORTION.
214
00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:15,949
LOOK, NOW THAT WE'RE
REALLY SEPARATED,
215
00:10:15,983 --> 00:10:17,918
I REFUSE TO BE
THE BAD GUY ALL THE TIME.
216
00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:20,187
YOU HAVE GOT TO LEARN
TO SAY "NO."
217
00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:22,122
I SAY IT.
(scoffs)
218
00:10:22,155 --> 00:10:24,057
TONIGHT WHEN WE WALKED PAST
THE PET SHOP,
219
00:10:24,091 --> 00:10:24,958
THEY WANTED A SPIDER MONKEY.
I SAID "NO."
220
00:10:24,992 --> 00:10:28,428
I'M SERIOUS.
THINGS ARE DIFFERENT NOW.
221
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:30,030
I'M NOT GONNA LET THIS BE
THE HOUSE OF PAIN
222
00:10:30,063 --> 00:10:32,833
WHILE YOU'RE LIVING IT UP
AT THE MTV BEACH HOUSE.
223
00:10:32,866 --> 00:10:34,935
YOU'RE RIGHT.
224
00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:36,704
THINGS ARE DIFFERENT NOW.
225
00:10:36,737 --> 00:10:40,173
FOR INSTANCE, I USED TO HAVE TO
STAND HERE AND LISTEN TO THIS.
226
00:10:40,207 --> 00:10:44,945
BUT NOW I'M THINKING...
NO.
227
00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:47,147
(door opens)
228
00:10:47,180 --> 00:10:50,851
HEY, LOOK AT THAT. I'M GETTING
PRETTY GOOD AT THIS "NO" THING.
229
00:11:00,928 --> 00:11:01,929
IT'S BAD ENOUGH WHEN WE WEREN'T
EVEN TRYING TO HAVE SEX,
230
00:11:01,962 --> 00:11:03,363
BUT TO TRY AND FAIL?
231
00:11:03,396 --> 00:11:04,898
WELL, DO YOU THINK
IT MIGHT HAVE SOMETHING TO DO
232
00:11:04,932 --> 00:11:06,767
WITH THE STRESS
CARLOS IS UNDER?
233
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,969
WE'RE ALL UNDER STRESS.
YOU KNOW WHAT'S STRESSFUL?
234
00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:11,338
IS NOT HAVING SEX
FOR 39 1/2 DAYS.
235
00:11:11,371 --> 00:11:13,907
YOU'RE SOUNDING
A LITTLE CALLOUS.
236
00:11:13,941 --> 00:11:16,977
I DON'T MEAN TO. IT'S JUST,
SEX IS IMPORTANT TO US.
237
00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:20,914
EVEN IN OUR TOUGHEST TIMES, IT'S
WHAT ALWAYS HELD US TOGETHER.
238
00:11:20,948 --> 00:11:23,416
IF WE DON'T HAVE THAT, I'M
WORRIED WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO US.
239
00:11:23,450 --> 00:11:24,417
I GET THAT.
240
00:11:24,451 --> 00:11:25,352
SO... COME ON, GIRLS.
241
00:11:25,385 --> 00:11:28,922
HOW CAN I SPICE THINGS UP
IN THE BEDROOM?
242
00:11:30,423 --> 00:11:31,925
IS THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENING?
243
00:11:31,959 --> 00:11:35,095
GABRIELLE SOLIS IS
ASKING US FOR SEX TIPS?
244
00:11:35,128 --> 00:11:37,030
I KNOW! IT'S THE APOCALYPSE.
245
00:11:37,064 --> 00:11:38,966
WELL, IF YOU DON'T MIND
HARSH LIGHTING
246
00:11:38,999 --> 00:11:41,935
AND BLATANT MISOGYNY,
YOU CAN ALWAYS WATCH A PORNO.
247
00:11:41,969 --> 00:11:43,771
WATCHED ONE. FILMED ONE. NEXT.
248
00:11:43,771 --> 00:11:45,873
THIS MAY SHOCK YOU,
249
00:11:45,906 --> 00:11:49,977
BUT SOMETIMES MIKE AND I
LIKE DOING IT IN PUBLIC.
250
00:11:50,010 --> 00:11:51,979
HUH. THOSE OF US WHO WANDERED
251
00:11:52,012 --> 00:11:54,347
BY SANTA'S WORKSHOP
AT THE CHRISTMAS CARNIVAL--
252
00:11:54,381 --> 00:11:56,817
NOT THAT SHOCKED.
253
00:11:56,850 --> 00:11:58,085
YOU COULD TRY ROLE-PLAYING.
254
00:11:58,118 --> 00:12:00,287
ONCE, I DRESSED UP
IN A FRENCH MAID'S COSTUME,
255
00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:02,489
AND ORSON PRETENDED TO BE
A STUBBORN STAIN,
256
00:12:02,522 --> 00:12:04,524
AND WHY IS EVERYBODY
LOOKING AT ME?
257
00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:07,795
SERIOUSLY, GUYS,
I NEED SOME NEW MOVES.
258
00:12:07,795 --> 00:12:09,797
WELL, THERE'S THIS ONE MOM
AT SCHOOL--
259
00:12:09,797 --> 00:12:11,331
AND I PROMISED
I WOULDN'T USE HER NAME--
260
00:12:11,364 --> 00:12:13,967
BETTY CUNNINGHAM--WHO HIRED
A STRIPPER TO TEACH HER
261
00:12:14,001 --> 00:12:16,103
HOW TO GIVE HER HUSBAND
A LAP DANCE.
262
00:12:16,136 --> 00:12:17,404
WELL, I DON'T KNOW WHAT
A STRIPPER COULD TEACH ME,
263
00:12:17,437 --> 00:12:18,906
BUT IT'S WORTH A SHOT.
264
00:12:18,939 --> 00:12:21,508
YOU REALLY THINK
THAT'S GONNA WORK?
265
00:12:21,541 --> 00:12:23,143
WHY WOULDN'T IT?
266
00:12:24,544 --> 00:12:28,081
BECAUSE... I GET WHERE
CARLOS IS COMING FROM.
267
00:12:28,115 --> 00:12:31,852
THIS KIND OF GUILT CAN
REALLY MESS WITH YOUR HEAD.
268
00:12:33,453 --> 00:12:35,088
SOMETHING YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT?
269
00:12:36,556 --> 00:12:38,291
OKAY, THE OTHER DAY,
270
00:12:38,325 --> 00:12:41,294
I ACCIDENTALLY TOOK A CASE
OF SODA FROM THE SUPERMARKET,
271
00:12:41,328 --> 00:12:43,330
AND THE SECURITY GUARD
STARTED YELLING AT ME.
272
00:12:43,363 --> 00:12:45,065
AND AT FIRST, I WAS LIKE, "NO,"
273
00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:47,500
BUT THEN I WAS LIKE
"YES, I DESERVE IT.
274
00:12:47,534 --> 00:12:49,369
I DESERVE TO BE PUNISHED."
275
00:12:49,402 --> 00:12:52,305
IT FELT RIGHT TO BE
PUBLICLY HUMILIATED LIKE THAT,
276
00:12:52,339 --> 00:12:54,374
AND WHY IS EVERYBODY
LOOKING AT ME?
277
00:12:54,407 --> 00:12:57,477
'CAUSE THERE'S A BUCKET OF CRAZY
WHERE YOUR HEAD USED TO BE.
278
00:12:59,312 --> 00:13:01,882
SO NOW I'M CRAZY.
279
00:13:01,915 --> 00:13:04,852
I THOUGHT YOU SAID I COULD
TALK TO YOU ABOUT THIS STUFF.
280
00:13:04,885 --> 00:13:06,353
YOU CAN,
281
00:13:06,386 --> 00:13:07,487
AND WE APPRECIATE WHAT
YOU'RE GRAPPLING WITH,
282
00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:11,491
BUT YOU CANNOT GO AROUND
ATTRACTING ATTENTION LIKE THAT.
283
00:13:11,524 --> 00:13:12,592
IT'S NOT SAFE.
284
00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:14,294
EXACTLY.
285
00:13:14,327 --> 00:13:16,429
SO KNOCK IT OFF AND GO GET ME
SOME MORE COFFEE!
286
00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:22,302
WHAT? SHE LIKES TO BE YELLED AT.
287
00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:26,339
HEY, YOU.
288
00:13:26,373 --> 00:13:29,609
UH, I THOUGHT YOU WERE,
UH, AT WORK.
289
00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:31,611
I PRONOUNCE
THE CITY OF FAIRVIEW
290
00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:34,047
SAFE ENOUGH
TO HAVE LUNCH WITH MY GIRL.
291
00:13:34,081 --> 00:13:36,316
OH, THAT WOULD BE LOVELY,
292
00:13:36,349 --> 00:13:39,586
BUT I HAVE SOMETHING
I NEED TO DO. SHOOT.
293
00:13:41,388 --> 00:13:42,990
OH, YEAH? LIKE WHAT?
294
00:13:43,023 --> 00:13:44,992
WHAT?
295
00:13:45,025 --> 00:13:48,428
UNLESS IT'S A--
IT'S A BIG SECRET.
296
00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:53,033
IS IT A BIG SECRET?
297
00:13:53,066 --> 00:13:55,402
CHUCK.
298
00:13:55,435 --> 00:13:57,370
I'M SORRY. YOU'RE RIGHT.
299
00:13:57,404 --> 00:13:59,439
I...
300
00:13:59,472 --> 00:14:02,075
YOU DON'T OWE ME
ANY EXPLANATIONS.
301
00:14:04,277 --> 00:14:07,414
I JUST... I JUST NEED
TO KNOW THAT WE'RE OKAY.
302
00:14:07,447 --> 00:14:08,648
CHUCK...
303
00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:11,418
MY FEELINGS FOR YOU
HAVE NOT CHANGED,
304
00:14:11,451 --> 00:14:13,386
JUST MY SCHEDULE
FOR THE DAY.
305
00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:14,287
MWAH.
306
00:14:14,321 --> 00:14:16,223
WELL, THAT'S GOOD,
307
00:14:16,256 --> 00:14:18,225
BECAUSE SUSPICION CAN BE
A GREAT TRAIT IN POLICE WORK,
308
00:14:18,258 --> 00:14:20,493
BUT IT'S HORRIBLE
IN A RELATIONSHIP.
309
00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:22,930
JUST ASK MY EX.
310
00:14:22,930 --> 00:14:25,398
I NEVER WANNA BE
THAT GUY AGAIN.
311
00:14:31,939 --> 00:14:33,573
(door opens and closes)
312
00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:48,321
(loudly) HELLO THERE, KAREN.
313
00:14:48,355 --> 00:14:49,389
"KAREN"?
314
00:14:49,422 --> 00:14:52,425
WHAT HAPPENED TO "LIVER SPOT"
OR "6 FEET UNDER"
315
00:14:52,459 --> 00:14:54,427
OR ONE OF
YOUR OTHER CUTE NICKNAMES?
316
00:14:54,461 --> 00:14:56,396
NO, NO, I CAN'T COME IN!
317
00:14:56,429 --> 00:14:59,666
I'M JUST DROPPING OFF
ANOTHER HOME-COOKED MEAL!
318
00:14:59,699 --> 00:15:03,370
WHAT MEAL? WHAT THE HELL
ARE YOU YELLING FOR?
319
00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:05,973
(under breath)
JUST LIFT THE NAPKIN.
320
00:15:05,973 --> 00:15:08,408
50 BUCKS.
WHAT'S THE CATCH?
321
00:15:08,441 --> 00:15:11,044
DON'T LOOK NOW,
BUT DO YOU SEE BEN OVER THERE?
322
00:15:14,314 --> 00:15:16,349
MM. SUBTLE.
323
00:15:16,383 --> 00:15:18,585
ANYWAY, HE HAS A SOFT SPOT
FOR OLD PEOPLE,
324
00:15:18,618 --> 00:15:22,255
AND AS FAR AS HE KNOWS,
SO DO I.
325
00:15:22,289 --> 00:15:25,525
(loudly) NO, NO,
YOUR CRINKLED LITTLE SMILE
326
00:15:25,558 --> 00:15:28,395
IS THANKS ENOUGH FOR ME.
327
00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:30,230
ARE YOU PETTING ME?
328
00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:33,200
(sighs) JUST SAY NICE THINGS
ABOUT ME TO BEN.
329
00:15:33,233 --> 00:15:35,268
TELL HIM I BRING YOU MEALS,
THAT KIND OF STUFF.
330
00:15:35,302 --> 00:15:38,405
WELL, IT'S A PRETTY BIG FAVOR
FOR 50 BUCKS.
331
00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:41,374
CONSIDERING I DON'T LIKE YOU,
I'LL DO IT FOR $100.
332
00:15:41,408 --> 00:15:42,509
FINE.
333
00:15:42,542 --> 00:15:45,478
TOMORROW I'LL BRING YOU A C-NOTE
AND A JELL-O MOLD. DEAL?
334
00:15:45,512 --> 00:15:47,180
(loudly) OH, RENEE.
335
00:15:47,214 --> 00:15:49,316
BLESS YOUR HEART.
YOU'RE SO GOOD TO ME.
336
00:15:49,349 --> 00:15:51,418
NO, YOU'RE THE ONE
WHO ENRICHES MY LIFE.
337
00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:53,686
THE JOY I GET...
338
00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:57,190
(normal voice)
HANDS OFF. HE'S GONE.
339
00:16:00,327 --> 00:16:02,262
OH, MY GOD.
340
00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:05,332
YOU THINK I SENT THIS?
341
00:16:05,365 --> 00:16:07,367
YOU HAVE ANY IDEA
HOW THIS MAKES ME FEEL?
342
00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:09,302
FORGIVE ME. I DIDN'T THINK
IT WAS POSSIBLE
343
00:16:09,336 --> 00:16:11,304
TO DAMAGE THE SELF-ESTEEM
OF A MURDERER.
344
00:16:11,338 --> 00:16:13,273
A CONFESSED MURDERER.
345
00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:16,709
AND THIS--THIS IS THE ONLY WAY
YOU CAN SEE ME?
346
00:16:16,743 --> 00:16:18,645
(muffled) PAUL! PAUL.
347
00:16:18,678 --> 00:16:20,347
(pounds)
348
00:16:20,380 --> 00:16:22,282
(sighs)
349
00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:24,317
(muffled) PLEASE.
350
00:16:27,420 --> 00:16:31,291
I'M SORRY. I'VE JUST BEEN
SO PANICKED SINCE I GOT IT.
351
00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:34,761
IT HAS THE EXACT SAME WORDING AS
THE LETTER MARY ALICE RECEIVED.
352
00:16:34,794 --> 00:16:37,430
YES.
353
00:16:37,464 --> 00:16:39,532
THAT'S VERY WEIRD.
354
00:16:42,169 --> 00:16:44,637
BUT WHY ARE YOU
SO WORKED UP ABOUT IT?
355
00:16:44,671 --> 00:16:46,506
(gasps) I BELIEVE MARY ALICE
GOT A LITTLE WORKED UP
356
00:16:46,539 --> 00:16:47,707
WHEN SHE GOT HERS.
357
00:16:47,740 --> 00:16:50,677
BUT SHE WAS HIDING SOMETHING.
YOU AREN'T.
358
00:16:52,245 --> 00:16:54,447
RIGHT?
359
00:16:54,481 --> 00:16:56,716
OF COURSE NOT.
360
00:16:56,749 --> 00:16:59,252
IT'S OBVIOUSLY JUST
A CRUEL PRANK,
361
00:16:59,286 --> 00:17:02,322
BUT I STILL WANNA KNOW
WHO'S RESPONSIBLE.
362
00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:05,525
IT HAD TO BE SOMEONE WHO KNEW
ABOUT THE ORIGINAL NOTE.
363
00:17:05,558 --> 00:17:09,629
WELL, LET'S SEE.
OBVIOUSLY THERE'S MARTHA HUBER.
364
00:17:09,662 --> 00:17:11,498
OBVIOUSLY
SHE DIDN'T SEND IT.
365
00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:13,166
THEN THERE'S YOU,
366
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:15,335
SUSAN, LYNETTE, GABY.
367
00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:17,237
I ASSUME YOU'VE
ALREADY ASKED THEM.
368
00:17:18,738 --> 00:17:23,310
UH, ACTUALLY, I-I HAVEN'T
MENTIONED IT TO THE GIRLS YET.
369
00:17:23,343 --> 00:17:26,413
I-I STILL HAVEN'T FIGURED OUT
EXACTLY WHAT IT IS.
370
00:17:26,446 --> 00:17:28,481
WELL, WHATEVER IT IS,
371
00:17:28,515 --> 00:17:30,683
DON'T KEEP IT TO YOURSELF.
372
00:17:32,219 --> 00:17:36,289
IF MARY ALICE HAD SHARED
HER NOTE WITH YOU GIRLS...
373
00:17:36,323 --> 00:17:38,425
THINGS MIGHT HAVE
TURNED OUT...
374
00:17:38,458 --> 00:17:41,128
A WHOLE DIFFERENT WAY.
375
00:17:51,604 --> 00:17:53,406
YOU KNOW IT'S RECYCLING DAY.
376
00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:54,541
SO?
377
00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:56,143
SO IT LOOKS LIKE
YOU'RE ABOUT
378
00:17:56,176 --> 00:17:58,178
TO PUT KITCHEN GARBAGE
IN YOUR RECYCLING BIN.
379
00:17:58,211 --> 00:18:01,548
OH. I HOPE
I DON'T GET PUNISHED.
380
00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:10,890
OH, HERE I AM,
DROPPING A TURKEY CARCASS
381
00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:12,225
IN WITH THE RECYCLING.
382
00:18:12,259 --> 00:18:15,495
AND HERE I AM,
NOT GIVING A CRAP.
383
00:18:21,468 --> 00:18:23,503
UH-OH. YOU GOT ME.
384
00:18:23,536 --> 00:18:25,672
CAN I BUM ONE?
385
00:18:25,705 --> 00:18:27,474
MY OLD LADY MADE ME QUIT.
386
00:18:27,507 --> 00:18:30,577
(sighs)
387
00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:33,480
(mouth full) 17...
388
00:18:33,513 --> 00:18:35,615
18...
389
00:18:35,648 --> 00:18:37,350
19...
390
00:18:37,384 --> 00:18:40,720
THANK GOD.
THOSE WERE FROM LAST WEEK.
391
00:18:48,495 --> 00:18:51,564
HELLO.
UH, BEN, ISN'T IT?
392
00:18:51,598 --> 00:18:53,200
YES.
393
00:18:53,233 --> 00:18:55,468
UH, LISTEN, UH,
394
00:18:55,502 --> 00:18:56,569
I WAS JUST TALKING
TO MRS. McCLUSKEY,
395
00:18:56,603 --> 00:19:01,474
AND I GOTTA SAY,
I REALLY MISJUDGED YOU.
396
00:19:01,508 --> 00:19:03,310
OH?
YEAH.
397
00:19:03,343 --> 00:19:05,378
SHE WAS TELLING ME
ALL THE WAYS YOU'VE HELPED HER.
398
00:19:05,412 --> 00:19:08,281
WELL, I LIKE TO THINK
I'M DOING GOD'S WORK,
399
00:19:08,315 --> 00:19:12,585
YOU KNOW, UNTIL HE TAKES HER
IN HER SLEEP OR WHAT HAVE YOU.
400
00:19:12,619 --> 00:19:14,221
YEAH, I DON'T KNOW
IF YOU KNEW THIS,
401
00:19:14,254 --> 00:19:17,257
BUT I'M QUITE INVOLVED
WITH SENIORS MYSELF.
402
00:19:17,290 --> 00:19:21,628
GET OUT! LOOK AT US,
HAVING THINGS IN COMMON.
403
00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:23,930
(chuckles) YEAH.
404
00:19:23,963 --> 00:19:28,468
SO IS THERE SOMETHING ELSE
I CAN HELP YOU WITH?
405
00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:33,240
ACTUALLY, YES.
ARE YOU FREE TONIGHT?
406
00:19:34,607 --> 00:19:36,343
(door creaks)
407
00:19:36,376 --> 00:19:37,310
HEY, BUDDY.
408
00:19:37,344 --> 00:19:38,110
WHAT ARE YOU THINKING
FOR DINNER TONIGHT?
409
00:19:38,144 --> 00:19:40,313
(door closes)
MEXICAN? CHINESE?
410
00:19:40,347 --> 00:19:41,814
ACTUALLY, THERE'S A PARTY
AT RICH COHEN'S
411
00:19:41,848 --> 00:19:42,949
I WAS HOPING TO GO TO.
412
00:19:42,982 --> 00:19:45,352
YEAH? DON'T HOPE TOO HARD.
413
00:19:45,385 --> 00:19:46,453
WHY NOT?
414
00:19:46,486 --> 00:19:48,455
REMEMBER WHEN
RICH TURNED 13?
415
00:19:48,488 --> 00:19:51,424
IT WAS THE ONLY BAR MITZVAH
EVER SHUT DOWN BY THE POLICE.
416
00:19:51,458 --> 00:19:53,493
I DON'T TRUST HIS PARENTS.
417
00:19:53,526 --> 00:19:55,428
WELL, IF YOU MAKES YOU FEEL
BETTER, THEY'RE OUT OF TOWN.
418
00:19:55,462 --> 00:19:57,564
OOH, AN UNSUPERVISED PARTY?
EVEN BETTER.
419
00:19:57,597 --> 00:19:58,831
WE'RE JUST GONNA BE
420
00:19:58,865 --> 00:20:00,433
EATING PIZZA
AND WATCHING MOVIES AND STUFF,
421
00:20:00,467 --> 00:20:02,869
AND RICH'S OLDER BROTHER
WILL BE THERE.
(gasps)
422
00:20:02,902 --> 00:20:05,472
PERFECT.
SOMEONE TO BUY THE BEER.
423
00:20:05,505 --> 00:20:09,309
SO YOU'RE SAYING "NO"?
AGAIN?
424
00:20:09,342 --> 00:20:10,943
UH...
425
00:20:15,315 --> 00:20:18,451
I'M NOT SAYING NO.
I'M SAYING ASK YOUR DAD.
426
00:20:18,485 --> 00:20:21,288
HEY! I'M JUST DROPPING OFF
A CHECK.
427
00:20:21,321 --> 00:20:23,423
(door closes)
HANG ON A SEC. PARKER HAS
SOMETHING HE WANTS TO ASK YOU.
428
00:20:24,457 --> 00:20:26,493
PARKER.
429
00:20:26,526 --> 00:20:28,461
CAN I GO TO A PARTY
AT RICH COHEN'S HOUSE TONIGHT?
430
00:20:28,495 --> 00:20:29,829
WHAT DID YOUR MOM SAY?
431
00:20:29,862 --> 00:20:33,300
HIS MOM SAID HE SHOULD
ASK HIS DAD.
432
00:20:33,333 --> 00:20:37,570
OH. WELL... H-HIS PARENTS
ARE GONNA BE THERE, RIGHT?
433
00:20:37,604 --> 00:20:40,507
NOPE. NO PARENTS.
434
00:20:41,608 --> 00:20:43,976
AND... RICH COHEN--
435
00:20:44,010 --> 00:20:46,313
DIDN'T SOMETHING HAPPEN
AT HIS BAR MITZVAH?
436
00:20:46,346 --> 00:20:48,581
LOTS OF THINGS HAPPENED--
DRINKING, POT SMOKING,
437
00:20:48,615 --> 00:20:50,417
THE WHITTAKER GIRL
GOT PREGNANT.
438
00:20:50,450 --> 00:20:52,852
(chuckles) IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU
ALREADY MADE UP YOUR MIND HERE.
439
00:20:52,885 --> 00:20:54,921
NO, NO, NO.
440
00:20:54,954 --> 00:20:57,990
I HAVE NOT MADE UP MY MIND.
IT IS ENTIRELY UP TO YOU.
441
00:20:58,024 --> 00:21:01,428
YOU HEAR THAT, DAD?
ENTIRELY UP TO YOU.
442
00:21:03,996 --> 00:21:06,065
WELL... I-IT SEEMS LIKE
YOUR MOM DOESN'T THINK
443
00:21:06,098 --> 00:21:08,335
THIS IS A GOOD IDEA--
I DIDN'T SAY THAT.
444
00:21:08,368 --> 00:21:10,337
I DON'T NOT THINK
IT'S A GOOD IDEA.
445
00:21:10,337 --> 00:21:12,772
OH, SO YOU DO
DO THINK IT'S A GOOD IDEA.
446
00:21:12,805 --> 00:21:16,476
I DON'T NOT THINK IT'S NOT...
NOT... A GOOD IDEA.
447
00:21:16,509 --> 00:21:17,544
OKAY, I'M CONFUSED.
448
00:21:17,577 --> 00:21:18,545
WELL, IF YOUR MOM'S
NOT SAYING "NO,"
449
00:21:18,578 --> 00:21:19,879
I'M NOT SAYING "NO" EITHER.
450
00:21:19,912 --> 00:21:21,514
OH! WELL, IF YOUR DAD'S
NOT SAYING "NO,"
451
00:21:21,548 --> 00:21:23,015
I'M SURE AS HELL
NOT GOING TO SAY "NO."
452
00:21:23,049 --> 00:21:24,451
SO IS THAT A "YES"?
453
00:21:24,484 --> 00:21:27,354
WELL... (chuckles)
IT'S NOT A "NO."
454
00:21:27,387 --> 00:21:28,421
SWEET.
455
00:21:28,455 --> 00:21:30,457
(chuckles)
456
00:21:30,490 --> 00:21:34,060
(door opens and closes)
457
00:21:36,796 --> 00:21:38,030
ARE YOU SURE THIS THING
IS SAFE?
458
00:21:38,064 --> 00:21:40,700
MY SON PLAYS FIREMAN ON MINE
ALL THE TIME.
459
00:21:40,733 --> 00:21:41,934
DO YOU WANNA SEE A PICTURE?
460
00:21:41,968 --> 00:21:44,737
LET'S NOT MAKE THIS SADDER
THAN IT IS.
461
00:21:44,771 --> 00:21:46,639
ALL RIGHT, SO MY HUSBAND'S
HAVING A LITTLE PROBLEM
462
00:21:46,673 --> 00:21:48,908
IN THE BEDROOM.
WITH HIS WIENER?
463
00:21:48,941 --> 00:21:51,511
YES, WITH HIS... WIENER.
464
00:21:51,544 --> 00:21:53,380
WELL, YOU CAN RELAX,
BECAUSE I'M LIKE A DOCTOR,
465
00:21:53,380 --> 00:21:56,749
AND I SEE THIS PROBLEM
ALL THE TIME WITH OLDER WOMEN.
466
00:21:56,783 --> 00:21:58,918
"OLDER"?
(scoffs) EXCUSE ME.
467
00:21:58,951 --> 00:22:00,119
I DON'T THINK OUR AGES
ARE THAT FAR APART.
468
00:22:00,152 --> 00:22:01,654
WHEN WERE YOU BORN?
469
00:22:01,688 --> 00:22:02,822
1992.
470
00:22:02,855 --> 00:22:04,624
ME, TOO. ALL RIGHT,
ENOUGH CHITCHAT.
471
00:22:04,657 --> 00:22:06,593
GIVE ME A TASTE OF WHAT
I'M GONNA LEARN HERE.
472
00:22:14,801 --> 00:22:17,036
OKAY. I'D DO YA.
473
00:22:17,069 --> 00:22:17,970
LET ME TRY.
474
00:22:18,004 --> 00:22:19,806
THAT WAS KIND OF ADVANCED.
475
00:22:19,839 --> 00:22:22,809
I WAS THINKING MAYBE WE COULD
START WITH SOMETHING SIMPLE,
476
00:22:22,842 --> 00:22:24,110
LIKE GRINDING ON A CHAIR.
477
00:22:24,143 --> 00:22:26,078
OKAY, WILL YOU STOP
TREATING ME LIKE A GRANDMA?
478
00:22:26,112 --> 00:22:29,816
I DO YOGA AND ZUMBA
AND KICKBOXING.
479
00:22:29,849 --> 00:22:31,718
I'M IN EXCELLENT SHAPE.
480
00:22:31,751 --> 00:22:34,921
OKAY. (grunting)
481
00:22:34,954 --> 00:22:37,590
NOT BAD.
482
00:22:37,624 --> 00:22:38,991
OKAY, NOW ASS UP,
LEGS OUT,
483
00:22:39,025 --> 00:22:42,795
AND REMEMBER, SLOW IS SEXY.
484
00:22:42,829 --> 00:22:45,031
AAH!
(thud)
485
00:22:45,064 --> 00:22:46,232
OH, MY GOD.
486
00:22:46,265 --> 00:22:49,869
OHH! OKAY. UH... (grunts)
A LITTLE HARDER THAN IT LOOKS.
487
00:22:49,902 --> 00:22:51,771
NO WORRIES.
YOU'LL PICK IT UP IN NO TIME.
488
00:22:51,804 --> 00:22:52,972
SIX MONTHS TOPS.
489
00:22:53,005 --> 00:22:55,708
WHAT?!
I CAN'T WAIT THAT LONG.
490
00:22:55,742 --> 00:22:58,077
I NEED YOUR MOVES,
YOUR BODY...
491
00:22:58,110 --> 00:23:01,948
MY ASS, BUT BASICALLY
I NEED TO BE YOU BY TONIGHT.
492
00:23:03,650 --> 00:23:04,984
HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING
TONIGHT?
493
00:23:05,017 --> 00:23:06,986
I'M HEADLINING
AT DOUBLE D's.
494
00:23:07,019 --> 00:23:08,921
IF I TRIPLE YOUR PAY,
495
00:23:08,955 --> 00:23:12,058
WOULD YOU MIND
BEING THE OPENING ACT HERE?
496
00:23:16,696 --> 00:23:17,830
BEN, I DON'T KNOW HOW
THE FOOD IS,
497
00:23:17,864 --> 00:23:19,566
BUT I ALREADY LOVE
THIS RESTAURANT.
498
00:23:19,599 --> 00:23:21,668
WE ARE
THE YOUNGEST PEOPLE HERE.
499
00:23:21,701 --> 00:23:24,837
OH, THIS ISN'T A RESTAURANT.
500
00:23:24,871 --> 00:23:26,873
(indistinct conversations)
501
00:23:26,906 --> 00:23:28,675
THIS IS THE SENIOR CENTER.
502
00:23:28,708 --> 00:23:31,711
WELCOME TO
THE BEN FAULKNER FUNCTION ROOM.
503
00:23:31,744 --> 00:23:34,914
(scoffs) WE'RE NOT
EATING HERE, ARE WE?
504
00:23:34,947 --> 00:23:37,717
NO, NO, WE'RE SERVING.
505
00:23:37,750 --> 00:23:40,787
WE CAN EAT AFTERWARDS IF
THERE ARE, YOU KNOW, LEFTOVERS.
506
00:23:40,820 --> 00:23:42,889
OH, FUN.
507
00:23:42,922 --> 00:23:47,494
UH, BUT I'M--
I'M A LITTLE UNDERDRESSED.
508
00:23:47,494 --> 00:23:50,597
THERE YOU GO.
509
00:23:50,630 --> 00:23:51,698
THERE. NOW YOU'RE PERFECT.
510
00:23:51,731 --> 00:23:53,566
(slaps back)
511
00:23:54,734 --> 00:23:57,870
GABY, F.Y.I.,
GUYS WHO USED TO BE BLIND
512
00:23:57,904 --> 00:23:59,606
DON'T ENJOY RELIVING IT.
513
00:23:59,639 --> 00:24:01,641
RELAX.
YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS.
514
00:24:01,674 --> 00:24:03,676
NOW JUST SIT BACK
515
00:24:03,710 --> 00:24:05,645
AND GET READY FOR TAKEOFF.
516
00:24:12,251 --> 00:24:14,687
MMM.
517
00:24:14,721 --> 00:24:15,688
(chuckles)
518
00:24:15,722 --> 00:24:16,789
(giggles) YEAH.
519
00:24:16,823 --> 00:24:21,227
WOW. (chuckles)
YOU'VE BEEN WORKING OUT.
520
00:24:21,260 --> 00:24:24,897
I HAVE... (singsongy)
BUT THAT'S NOT MY ASS.
521
00:24:24,931 --> 00:24:26,599
(whispers)
IT'S A PROFESSIONAL'S.
522
00:24:26,633 --> 00:24:28,568
MEET DAKOTA.
523
00:24:28,601 --> 00:24:31,237
WHAT THE HELL?
WHAT IS THIS?
524
00:24:31,270 --> 00:24:33,940
A GIFT FROM YOUR WIFE.
I WORK AT DOUBLE D's,
525
00:24:33,973 --> 00:24:35,908
OUT BY THE INTERSTATE.
526
00:24:35,942 --> 00:24:38,811
NOT THE ONE BY THE AIRPORT
THAT HAD THE HEPATITIS SCARE.
527
00:24:38,845 --> 00:24:41,213
YOU HIRED A STRIPPER.
528
00:24:41,247 --> 00:24:43,550
ONLY AS A WARM-UP ACT.
529
00:24:43,550 --> 00:24:44,951
THEN LATER ON,
SHE'LL CLEAR OUT,
530
00:24:44,984 --> 00:24:47,720
AND IT'S JUST YOU AND ME
FOR THE MAIN EVENT.
531
00:24:47,754 --> 00:24:49,756
NOPE. NOT DOING THIS.
532
00:24:49,789 --> 00:24:52,659
HANG ON. IDEA. SIT DOWN.
533
00:24:52,692 --> 00:24:54,594
(chuckles)
534
00:24:54,627 --> 00:24:55,962
OH! OKAY.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
535
00:24:55,995 --> 00:24:58,765
I DON'T... OH, MY GOD.
HE'S RIGHT.
536
00:24:58,798 --> 00:25:00,733
YOUR BODY--
IT'S LIKE A DOLPHIN.
537
00:25:00,767 --> 00:25:02,001
GIVE IT A LITTLE SPANK.
538
00:25:02,034 --> 00:25:03,603
NOTHING WILL FIX
HIS PROBLEM QUICKER
539
00:25:03,636 --> 00:25:05,838
THAN A LITTLE
GIRL-ON-GIRL ACTION.
540
00:25:05,872 --> 00:25:06,873
MY "PROBLEM."
541
00:25:06,906 --> 00:25:08,608
(gasps)
542
00:25:08,641 --> 00:25:09,375
YOU TOLD HER.
543
00:25:09,408 --> 00:25:11,678
OKAY, QUICK.
MAKE OUT WITH ME.
544
00:25:11,711 --> 00:25:14,814
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW
EMBARRASSING THIS IS FOR ME?
545
00:25:14,847 --> 00:25:17,917
THANK YOU, DOCTOR.
YOU CAN GO NOW.
546
00:25:21,721 --> 00:25:23,222
HOW COULD YOU DO THAT
TO ME?
547
00:25:23,255 --> 00:25:25,592
TRY TO GET OUR SEX LIFE
BACK ON TRACK?
548
00:25:25,625 --> 00:25:26,693
CARLOS, EVEN AT OUR WORST,
549
00:25:26,726 --> 00:25:29,662
THIS IS THE ONE THING
THAT'S ALWAYS WORKED FOR US.
550
00:25:29,696 --> 00:25:31,297
I JUST WANT US
TO GET BACK TO NORMAL.
551
00:25:31,330 --> 00:25:33,332
WE'RE NEVER GOING BACK
TO NORMAL!
552
00:25:33,365 --> 00:25:36,335
DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?!
553
00:25:36,368 --> 00:25:39,839
WHAT I DID...
554
00:25:39,872 --> 00:25:41,874
YOU CAN'T WISH IT AWAY.
555
00:25:41,908 --> 00:25:44,911
IT IS WITH ME ALL THE TIME,
556
00:25:44,944 --> 00:25:46,813
WHETHER I'M AWAKE
557
00:25:46,846 --> 00:25:48,748
OR ASLEEP...
558
00:25:53,019 --> 00:25:55,254
OR TRYING
TO MAKE LOVE TO YOU.
559
00:25:55,287 --> 00:25:59,291
I'M SORRY. I JUST WISH
THERE WAS SOMETHING I COULD DO.
560
00:26:02,361 --> 00:26:03,796
THERE'S NOT.
561
00:26:08,668 --> 00:26:11,671
(indistinct conversations)
562
00:26:13,205 --> 00:26:15,642
WHAT'S THAT?
563
00:26:15,642 --> 00:26:17,744
I DON'T KNOW.
564
00:26:17,777 --> 00:26:19,646
IS IT GOOD?
565
00:26:19,646 --> 00:26:21,380
LET ME CLUE YOU IN
ON SOMETHING.
566
00:26:21,413 --> 00:26:25,017
FOOD IS USUALLY
EITHER GOOD OR FREE.
567
00:26:27,286 --> 00:26:28,955
HOW COME YOU'RE DRESSED
SO FANCY?
568
00:26:28,988 --> 00:26:32,759
BECAUSE I'M ON A DATE
WITH THAT HOT AUSSIE OVER THERE.
569
00:26:32,792 --> 00:26:36,362
HE JUST FAILED TO MENTION
WHAT THE DATE WAS.
570
00:26:36,395 --> 00:26:40,132
BEN BROUGHT YOU TO SLING FOOD
DRESSED LIKE THAT?
571
00:26:40,166 --> 00:26:43,670
(chuckles) HONEY, I THINK
HE'S MESSING WITH YOU.
572
00:26:43,703 --> 00:26:45,271
(chuckles)
573
00:26:53,946 --> 00:26:55,682
I HOPE YOU HAD
A GOOD LAUGH.
574
00:26:55,682 --> 00:26:57,750
BE THANKFUL I SHOVED THAT
ON YOUR HEAD.
575
00:26:57,784 --> 00:26:59,351
THERE WAS ANOTHER OPTION.
576
00:27:04,857 --> 00:27:06,225
RENEE, STOP.
577
00:27:06,258 --> 00:27:09,395
WHY? SO YOU CAN
MOCK ME SOME MORE?
578
00:27:09,428 --> 00:27:10,863
I WASN'T MOCKING YOU.
579
00:27:12,331 --> 00:27:14,366
OKAY, BUT I MEAN,
YOU DID KINDA DESERVE IT--
580
00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:18,337
I MEAN, YOUR WHOLE
"I HEART OLD PEOPLE" THING.
581
00:27:18,370 --> 00:27:21,140
I WAS TRYING TO FIND
SOMETHING WE HAD IN COMMON,
582
00:27:21,173 --> 00:27:23,910
AND NOW I KNOW WE HAVE
NOTHING IN COMMON.
583
00:27:23,943 --> 00:27:26,412
YOU'RE A GOOD PERSON
WHO DOES THINGS LIKE THIS,
584
00:27:26,445 --> 00:27:29,849
AND... I'M ME.
585
00:27:29,882 --> 00:27:31,383
YOU'RE NOT A GOOD PERSON?
586
00:27:31,417 --> 00:27:33,452
NO, BEN, I'M NOT.
587
00:27:33,485 --> 00:27:37,757
BECAUSE TRUTHFULLY,
DOING CHARITY MAKES ME NAUSEOUS.
588
00:27:37,790 --> 00:27:39,158
YEAH, ME, TOO.
589
00:27:39,191 --> 00:27:40,259
WHAT?
590
00:27:40,292 --> 00:27:44,163
MAKES MEUNCOMFORTABLE, TOO,
BUT I KNOW WHY THAT IS.
591
00:27:44,196 --> 00:27:45,732
DO YOU?
592
00:27:45,732 --> 00:27:48,167
I DON'T WANT TO TALK
ABOUT THIS.
593
00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:51,303
WHY? YOU AFRAID OF SAYING
SOMETHING TRUTHFUL?
594
00:27:54,907 --> 00:27:58,410
WHEN MY MOM... DIED,
595
00:27:58,444 --> 00:28:01,881
I WAS BOUNCED AROUND
FROM RELATIVE TO RELATIVE,
596
00:28:01,914 --> 00:28:03,315
MOST OF THEM DIRT-POOR.
597
00:28:03,349 --> 00:28:07,286
WE WERE ON THE RECEIVING END
OF A LOT OF CHARITY.
598
00:28:07,319 --> 00:28:09,756
I SPENT PLENTY OF TIME
IN PLACES LIKE THIS.
599
00:28:11,390 --> 00:28:13,159
AND I HATED IT.
600
00:28:13,192 --> 00:28:14,493
THEY HAND YOU SOMETHING--
601
00:28:14,526 --> 00:28:17,897
A, UH, A DENTED CAN OF FOOD
OR AN UGLY SHIRT.
602
00:28:17,930 --> 00:28:20,900
AND SOMEONE TELLS YOU, "SAY
'THANK YOU' TO THE NICE LADY."
603
00:28:20,933 --> 00:28:25,838
AND YOU DO, BUT SECRETLY,
YOU WANNA SCREAM, "I HATE YOU."
604
00:28:27,539 --> 00:28:31,410
I KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO CLAW
YOUR WAY OUT OF SOMETHING.
605
00:28:31,443 --> 00:28:34,313
LOOK AT US...
606
00:28:36,883 --> 00:28:41,187
HAVING THINGS IN COMMON.
607
00:28:49,261 --> 00:28:50,429
(scratching sound)
608
00:28:50,462 --> 00:28:52,198
(exhales deeply)
609
00:28:53,833 --> 00:28:55,201
(siren blares)
610
00:28:55,234 --> 00:28:58,270
IT'S ABOUT TIME.
611
00:29:00,873 --> 00:29:02,141
IS THERE A PROBLEM,
OFFICER?
612
00:29:02,174 --> 00:29:04,076
YEAH. YOU'RE PARKED
IN A FIRE ZONE.
613
00:29:04,110 --> 00:29:08,881
OH! DARN THE LUCK, I AM.
614
00:29:08,915 --> 00:29:10,549
WELL, SOUNDS LIKE
SOMEBODY'S GONNA BE SLAPPED
615
00:29:10,582 --> 00:29:12,551
WITH A PRETTY STEEP FINE.
616
00:29:12,584 --> 00:29:14,453
YEAH, I SHOULD WRITE YOU
A TICKET.
617
00:29:14,486 --> 00:29:15,822
MM.
618
00:29:15,855 --> 00:29:18,390
BUT IF YOU PROMISE
NOT TO DO IT AGAIN,
619
00:29:18,424 --> 00:29:20,059
I'LL LET YOU OFF
WITH A WARNING.
620
00:29:20,092 --> 00:29:22,428
WHAT?
WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?
621
00:29:22,461 --> 00:29:25,497
'CAUSE I'M A NEW DAD.
OH, JEEZ.
622
00:29:25,531 --> 00:29:28,868
ABIGAIL DOROTHY BROVKA,
8 POUNDS, 6 OUNCES.
623
00:29:28,901 --> 00:29:30,469
I'M JUST SO HAPPY,
624
00:29:30,502 --> 00:29:31,838
FILLED WITH LOVE.
625
00:29:31,838 --> 00:29:33,439
ANYTHING SHORT
OF A TRIPLE MURDER,
626
00:29:33,472 --> 00:29:35,541
AND I'M PRETTY MUCH
LOOKING THE OTHER WAY.
627
00:29:35,574 --> 00:29:38,177
NO, NO. NO, DON'T LOOK
THE OTHER WAY.
628
00:29:38,210 --> 00:29:40,847
NO, LOOK THIS WAY.
629
00:29:40,847 --> 00:29:43,115
LAWS HAVE BEEN BROKEN.
THERE MUST BE CONSEQUENCES.
630
00:29:43,149 --> 00:29:44,583
I JUST WANNA GET HOME
TO MY BABY.
631
00:29:44,616 --> 00:29:47,053
I MEAN, LOOK AT HER,
ALL WRAPPED UP
632
00:29:47,086 --> 00:29:49,055
LIKE THE TASTIEST LITTLE BURRITO
IN FAIRVIEW.
633
00:29:49,088 --> 00:29:51,090
OH, LOOK AT THAT.
YEAH.
634
00:29:51,123 --> 00:29:52,859
AH, WELL...
635
00:29:52,892 --> 00:29:54,593
(mutters)
636
00:29:54,626 --> 00:29:56,863
THAT WAS NOT COOL.
637
00:29:56,863 --> 00:30:00,032
NOW FORTUNATELY FOR YOU,
I ALWAYS CARRY A BACKUP.
638
00:30:00,066 --> 00:30:01,433
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
639
00:30:01,467 --> 00:30:03,535
WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO
TO GET ARRESTED HERE?
640
00:30:03,569 --> 00:30:06,172
LADY, PEOPLE LIKE YOU
USED TO DRIVE ME NUTS.
641
00:30:06,205 --> 00:30:08,607
BUT NOTHING CAN FAZE ME NOW
THAT THIS SWEET LITTLE GIRL'S
642
00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:10,276
COME INTO MY LIFE.
643
00:30:10,309 --> 00:30:14,446
WELL, THAT SWEET LITTLE GIRL--
SHE'S GOT DUMBO EARS.
644
00:30:14,480 --> 00:30:15,882
(thud)
645
00:30:17,116 --> 00:30:18,450
UHH!
646
00:30:18,484 --> 00:30:19,585
MA'AM, YOU CAN TURN AROUND
647
00:30:19,618 --> 00:30:22,054
AND PUT YOUR HANDS
BEHIND YOUR BACK.
648
00:30:22,088 --> 00:30:24,090
YOU HAVE THE RIGHT
TO REMAIN SILENT.
(handcuffs clicking)
649
00:30:24,123 --> 00:30:26,525
ANYTHING YOU SAY CAN
AND WILL BE USED AGAINST YOU
650
00:30:26,558 --> 00:30:28,494
IN A COURT OF LAW.
(exhales deeply)
651
00:30:28,527 --> 00:30:31,330
HEY, MIKE.
652
00:30:31,363 --> 00:30:34,500
UM, I, UH, I'VE GOT
A BIT OF A PROBLEM.
653
00:30:34,533 --> 00:30:36,635
MAYBE YOU CAN HELP ME OUT
WITH IT.
654
00:30:36,668 --> 00:30:39,138
I CAN TRY.
WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
655
00:30:39,171 --> 00:30:40,839
YOU.
656
00:30:42,541 --> 00:30:46,145
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO HIRE YOU
WHEN I CAN'T GET YOU BONDED?
657
00:30:46,178 --> 00:30:49,548
WHO KNEW? MIKE DELFINO,
SUBURBAN DAD,
658
00:30:49,581 --> 00:30:53,585
GUY WHO KEEPS THE NEATEST LAWN
ON THE BLOCK,
659
00:30:53,619 --> 00:30:55,354
EX CON?
660
00:30:55,387 --> 00:30:57,356
(sighs) YEP.
661
00:30:57,389 --> 00:30:59,625
AND YOU WERE GONNA
MENTION THIS WHEN?
662
00:30:59,658 --> 00:31:02,328
LOOK, I'M SORRY. IT'S NOT
SOMETHING I TEND TO LEAD WITH
663
00:31:02,361 --> 00:31:03,529
WHEN I MEET SOMEBODY.
664
00:31:03,562 --> 00:31:05,998
'CAUSE YOU'RE NOT THAT GUY
ANYMORE.
665
00:31:06,032 --> 00:31:07,499
THAT'S RIGHT.
666
00:31:07,533 --> 00:31:11,603
A BAD COP TRIED TO RAPE
YOUR GIRLFRIEND,
667
00:31:11,637 --> 00:31:14,473
AND YOU FOUGHT HIM
TO PROTECT HER.
668
00:31:14,506 --> 00:31:17,944
TELL ME WHY YOU WOULDN'T
WANNA BE THAT GUY ANYMORE.
669
00:31:17,944 --> 00:31:20,612
IT WAS A LONG TIME AGO.
I WAS A KID,
670
00:31:20,646 --> 00:31:23,983
AND I'VE LEARNED LIFE'S A LOT
MORE COMPLICATED THAN I THOUGHT.
671
00:31:24,016 --> 00:31:25,985
NAH. NAH.
672
00:31:26,018 --> 00:31:29,088
LIFE IS BRUTALLY SIMPLE.
673
00:31:29,121 --> 00:31:34,026
LIFE IS GETTING WHAT YOU WANT
AND PROTECTING WHO YOU LOVE...
674
00:31:34,060 --> 00:31:35,694
AND EVERYTHING ELSE
IS WEAKNESS.
675
00:31:35,727 --> 00:31:37,629
A GUY LIKE YOU...
676
00:31:37,663 --> 00:31:40,532
GUY LIKE YOU KNOWS IT.
677
00:31:42,134 --> 00:31:43,669
BEN, IF THIS IS ALL JUST
TO TELL ME YOU CAN'T USE ME,
678
00:31:43,702 --> 00:31:44,703
I UNDERSTAND.
679
00:31:44,736 --> 00:31:46,438
NO, NO, NO, NO,
I DIDN'T SAY THAT.
680
00:31:46,472 --> 00:31:48,674
I SAID I COULDN'T BOND YOU.
681
00:31:48,707 --> 00:31:50,609
(sighs)
682
00:31:50,642 --> 00:31:53,145
I CAN DEFINITELY USE YOU.
683
00:31:55,114 --> 00:31:57,483
I HOPE YOU'VE COOLED OFF
A BIT.
684
00:31:57,516 --> 00:32:01,353
YEAH. WELL, UH, SPENDING
A FEW HOURS IN A CELL
685
00:32:01,387 --> 00:32:05,591
WITH A DRUNK TRANSVESTITE
WILL DO THAT TO YOU. (chuckles)
686
00:32:05,624 --> 00:32:09,361
YOUR BABY'S CUTE,
BY THE WAY.
687
00:32:09,395 --> 00:32:11,297
I SWEAR SHE'LL GROW
INTO THOSE EARS.
688
00:32:11,330 --> 00:32:15,001
THANKS. THE GUY YOU CALLED
TO PICK YOU UP IS HERE.
689
00:32:15,034 --> 00:32:17,269
(sighs)
690
00:32:17,303 --> 00:32:20,539
(telephone ringing in distance)
691
00:32:22,441 --> 00:32:24,476
CARLOS, THANKS FOR COMING.
692
00:32:24,510 --> 00:32:26,445
I COULDN'T CALL MIKE,
AND, UH,
693
00:32:26,478 --> 00:32:27,746
I DIDN'T WANNA UPSET
THE GIRLS, SO...
694
00:32:27,779 --> 00:32:29,248
YOU OKAY?
695
00:32:29,281 --> 00:32:32,351
THEY TOLD ME YOU ASSAULTED
A MOTORCYCLE COP.
696
00:32:32,384 --> 00:32:36,588
(sighs) ACTUALLY,
IT WAS JUST A MOTORCYCLE.
697
00:32:36,622 --> 00:32:38,724
THAT DOESN'T SOUND
LIKE YOU.
698
00:32:38,757 --> 00:32:42,061
I'VE BEEN...
699
00:32:42,094 --> 00:32:45,464
IN THIS WEIRD PLACE LATELY.
700
00:32:46,432 --> 00:32:50,502
I KEEP DOING THINGS,
HOPING TO GET CAUGHT.
701
00:32:50,536 --> 00:32:52,438
DOES IT HELP?
702
00:32:52,471 --> 00:32:54,673
FOR FIVE MINUTES.
703
00:32:56,442 --> 00:32:59,078
AND THEN I JUST
FEEL GUILTY AGAIN.
704
00:33:02,481 --> 00:33:06,652
(whispers) I JUST DON'T KNOW
HOW TO PULL MYSELF OUT OF THIS.
705
00:33:06,685 --> 00:33:08,254
(lowered voice) I GET IT.
706
00:33:08,287 --> 00:33:12,624
GABY KEEPS PUSHING ME TO ACT
LIKE EVERYTHING IS NORMAL.
707
00:33:12,658 --> 00:33:15,227
I GUESS WE'RE JUST SUPPOSED
TO STUFF EVERYTHING DOWN
708
00:33:15,261 --> 00:33:16,528
AND MOVE ON.
709
00:33:16,562 --> 00:33:18,297
BUT THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
710
00:33:18,330 --> 00:33:21,467
THE GIRLS ARE PLAYING POKER
711
00:33:21,500 --> 00:33:25,704
AND ACTING LIKE THINGS ARE FINE,
AND THEY'RE NOT.
712
00:33:28,507 --> 00:33:29,508
(sighs)
713
00:33:35,481 --> 00:33:37,449
IT IS NICE TO BE ABLE
TO TALK ABOUT THIS.
714
00:33:37,483 --> 00:33:39,485
OHH.
715
00:33:39,518 --> 00:33:41,553
IT IS.
716
00:33:43,855 --> 00:33:45,591
DO YOU WANNA GET
SOME COFFEE?
717
00:33:48,760 --> 00:33:50,529
SOUNDS GOOD.
718
00:34:01,307 --> 00:34:05,277
(beeping)
719
00:34:05,311 --> 00:34:07,779
(ringing,
indistinct conversations)
720
00:34:07,813 --> 00:34:09,615
PARKER, IT'S ME.
721
00:34:09,648 --> 00:34:12,351
IT'S GETTING LATE.
IS EVERYTHING OKAY?
722
00:34:12,384 --> 00:34:15,287
EVERYTHING IS FINE, M'LADY.
723
00:34:15,321 --> 00:34:16,622
WHO'S THIS?
724
00:34:16,655 --> 00:34:17,689
Toph.
725
00:34:17,723 --> 00:34:20,492
IF THIS IS A BOOTY CALL,
TOPH IS READY TO FILL IN.
726
00:34:20,526 --> 00:34:23,495
WHERE IS PARKER?
727
00:34:23,529 --> 00:34:24,796
I don't know, man.
728
00:34:24,830 --> 00:34:26,265
IT'S KIND OF
729
00:34:26,298 --> 00:34:28,800
A "LORD OF THE FLIES"
SITUATION HERE.
730
00:34:28,834 --> 00:34:32,371
SO... ARE WE HOOKING UP OR WHAT?
731
00:34:32,404 --> 00:34:33,372
OH!
732
00:34:33,405 --> 00:34:34,473
(beep)
733
00:34:34,506 --> 00:34:36,242
***
734
00:34:36,275 --> 00:34:37,309
PARKER!
735
00:34:37,343 --> 00:34:40,179
PARKER!
736
00:34:40,212 --> 00:34:42,414
EXCUSE ME, EXCUSE ME.
I'M LOOKING FOR MY SON,
737
00:34:42,448 --> 00:34:44,383
PARKER SCAVO--
I'M HOPING YOU KNOW HIM.
738
00:34:44,416 --> 00:34:47,419
(crowd chanting) KEG STAND!
KEG STAND! KEG STAND! KEG STAND!
739
00:34:47,453 --> 00:34:50,322
AND NOW I'M HOPING YOU DON'T.
740
00:34:50,356 --> 00:34:53,292
KEG STAND! KEG STAND! KEG STAND!
KEG STAND! KEG STAND! KEG STAND!
741
00:34:53,325 --> 00:34:55,327
WHOA, HOLD ON.
THIS IS A PRIVATE PARTY.
742
00:34:55,361 --> 00:34:56,695
UH, I'LL JUST BE A MINUTE.
743
00:34:56,728 --> 00:34:58,564
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. WHAT ARE YOU,
SOME KIND OF NARC?
744
00:34:58,597 --> 00:35:02,234
NO, I'M JUST LOOKING FOR MY SON,
I SWEAR. I'M NOT A NARC.
745
00:35:02,268 --> 00:35:04,370
EXACTLY WHAT A NARC
WOULD SAY.
746
00:35:04,403 --> 00:35:05,471
STEP ASIDE, KID.
747
00:35:05,504 --> 00:35:07,673
LADY, I SAID NO.
748
00:35:07,706 --> 00:35:11,210
LISTEN TO ME.
MY SON IS HERE SOMEWHERE,
749
00:35:11,243 --> 00:35:13,345
AND HE IS PROBABLY DRUNK
AND PROBABLY TERRIFIED,
750
00:35:13,379 --> 00:35:15,281
AND I HAVE GOT TO FIND HIM.
751
00:35:15,314 --> 00:35:18,350
SORRY. THERE'S NO WAY WE'RE
LETTING A NARC INTO OUR PARTY.
752
00:35:18,384 --> 00:35:22,321
I AM NOT... UGH! (grunts)
753
00:35:22,354 --> 00:35:24,623
(indistinct conversations)
754
00:35:24,656 --> 00:35:25,791
OKAY.
755
00:35:25,824 --> 00:35:27,659
WOULD A NARC DO THIS?
756
00:35:29,628 --> 00:35:32,331
LEGS!
757
00:35:32,364 --> 00:35:33,465
(crowd chanting) KEG STAND!
758
00:35:33,499 --> 00:35:38,404
KEG STAND! KEG STAND! KEG STAND!
KEG STAND! KEG STAND!
759
00:35:38,437 --> 00:35:40,272
(Tom) LYNETTE?
760
00:35:40,306 --> 00:35:41,340
UH... TOM!
761
00:35:41,373 --> 00:35:43,609
(crowd) KEG STAND!
762
00:35:43,642 --> 00:35:45,711
THIS ISN'T WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE.
I HAVEN'T BEEN DRINKING.
763
00:35:45,744 --> 00:35:47,713
(belches)
764
00:35:47,746 --> 00:35:50,682
I MEAN, A LITTLE.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
765
00:35:50,716 --> 00:35:54,453
PARKER CALLED ME TO PICK HIM UP
BECAUSE HE DRANK TOO MUCH.
WHERE IS HE?
766
00:35:54,486 --> 00:35:56,722
HE'S IN THE CAR. HE SENT ME BACK
BECAUSE HE LOST HIS PHONE.
767
00:35:56,755 --> 00:36:00,426
IS HE OKAY?
HE'S COVERED IN PUKE,
WHICH I'M HOPING IS--IS HIS.
768
00:36:00,459 --> 00:36:02,228
OH, GOD.
769
00:36:02,261 --> 00:36:05,464
THIS IS YOUR FAULT
FOR LETTING HIM COME HERE.
770
00:36:05,497 --> 00:36:07,699
MY FAULT?
YOU COULD HAVE STOPPED HIM.
771
00:36:07,733 --> 00:36:10,336
OH, PLEASE. YOU KNEW
IT WAS A BAD IDEA.
772
00:36:10,369 --> 00:36:12,304
YOU WERE JUST TOO BUSY
TESTING ME.
773
00:36:12,338 --> 00:36:15,941
NO, I WAS GIVING YOU A CHANCE
TO STAND UP AND BE A FATHER.
774
00:36:15,974 --> 00:36:17,376
NOW WE'VE GOT
A 16-YEAR-OLD SON
775
00:36:17,409 --> 00:36:18,710
WE HAVE TO CLEAN OFF
WITH A GARDEN HOSE.
776
00:36:18,744 --> 00:36:21,647
I GUESS YOU SHOWED ME.
777
00:36:21,680 --> 00:36:24,650
(scoffs)
778
00:36:32,624 --> 00:36:34,360
HE ASLEEP?
779
00:36:34,393 --> 00:36:36,762
YEAH. I THOUGHT
780
00:36:36,795 --> 00:36:40,799
LET HIM SOBER UP
BEFORE WE PUNISH HIM.
781
00:36:40,832 --> 00:36:43,469
I KNOW I SHOULDN'T
HAVE LET HIM GO TONIGHT.
782
00:36:44,836 --> 00:36:50,709
BUT RIGHT NOW SAYING "YES"
IS THE ONLY MOVE I'VE GOT.
783
00:36:50,742 --> 00:36:52,411
"MOVE"?
784
00:36:52,444 --> 00:36:54,346
WHAT IS THIS?
785
00:36:54,380 --> 00:36:56,382
SOME KIND OF GAME
YOU'RE TRYING TO WIN?
786
00:36:56,415 --> 00:37:01,420
LYNETTE, YOU HAVE NO IDEA
WHAT THIS IS LIKE FOR ME.
787
00:37:01,453 --> 00:37:04,490
FOR 20 YEARS, I HAD
THE SAME BEDTIME RITUAL.
788
00:37:04,523 --> 00:37:08,294
I-I BRUSHED MY TEETH, AND I'D
GO LOOK AT EACH KID SLEEPING,
789
00:37:08,294 --> 00:37:11,863
AND NO MATTER WHAT CRAP
HAPPENED DURING THE DAY,
790
00:37:11,897 --> 00:37:15,501
I KNEW THE THINGS
THAT MATTERED WERE OKAY.
791
00:37:15,534 --> 00:37:17,836
NOW MY RITUAL...
792
00:37:17,869 --> 00:37:19,838
I BRUSH MY TEETH.
793
00:37:19,871 --> 00:37:22,841
SO, YES.
794
00:37:22,874 --> 00:37:24,543
I'M DOING EVERYTHING I CAN
TO MAKE THE LITTLE TIME
795
00:37:24,576 --> 00:37:27,513
THAT I SPEND WITH THEM
THE BEST PART OF THEIR WEEK.
796
00:37:27,546 --> 00:37:29,481
WOW. YOU'RE SUCCEEDING.
797
00:37:29,515 --> 00:37:32,384
WHEN I SEE THEM
SPRINT OUT TO THE CAR,
798
00:37:32,418 --> 00:37:34,620
SO EXCITED TO SEE DADDY,
799
00:37:34,653 --> 00:37:36,722
PART OF ME THINKS, GREAT.
800
00:37:36,755 --> 00:37:40,426
THEY'RE OKAY WITH THIS,
AND PART OF ME THINKS...
801
00:37:42,594 --> 00:37:45,063
OH, CRAP.
802
00:37:45,096 --> 00:37:48,467
I'M LOSING THEM TO YOU.
803
00:37:48,500 --> 00:37:50,802
SO YOU'RE TRYING
TO WIN, TOO.
804
00:37:50,836 --> 00:37:52,471
NO.
805
00:37:57,709 --> 00:38:00,078
I JUST...
806
00:38:00,111 --> 00:38:02,848
I UNDERSTAND HOW YOU FEEL.
807
00:38:05,684 --> 00:38:07,786
AND THE ONLY WAY
WE'RE GONNA GET THROUGH THIS
808
00:38:07,819 --> 00:38:11,657
IS IF WE STOP WORRYING
ABOUT...
809
00:38:13,759 --> 00:38:15,661
WHO WINS.
810
00:38:24,536 --> 00:38:25,771
I'M SORRY TO BURDEN YOU
WITH THIS,
811
00:38:25,804 --> 00:38:28,674
BUT I JUST COULDN'T KEEP IT
TO MYSELF ANYMORE.
812
00:38:28,707 --> 00:38:30,809
WHY NOT?
WHY DID YOU HAVE TO TELL ME?
813
00:38:30,842 --> 00:38:33,044
REPRESSION IS, LIKE,
YOUR THING.
814
00:38:33,078 --> 00:38:35,681
OKAY, LET'S--LET'S SAY
SOMEONE KNOWS.
815
00:38:35,714 --> 00:38:37,015
THEY'RE NOT ASKING US
FOR MONEY.
816
00:38:37,048 --> 00:38:39,084
THEY'RE NOT TRYING
TO BLACKMAIL US.
817
00:38:39,117 --> 00:38:40,452
I SAY UNTIL THEY TELL US
WHAT THEY WANT,
818
00:38:40,486 --> 00:38:43,054
WE JUST ACT LIKE
EVERYTHING'S NORMAL.
819
00:38:43,088 --> 00:38:45,724
EXCEPT I'M DRINKING
A LOT MORE.
820
00:38:45,757 --> 00:38:48,394
YOU DON'T THINK
WE SHOULD TELL THE OTHERS?
821
00:38:48,394 --> 00:38:49,995
WELL, WE CAN'T TELL SUSAN.
SHE'S ALREADY FLIPPING OUT.
822
00:38:50,028 --> 00:38:51,830
YOU'RE RIGHT.
AND WE SHOULDN'T TELL LYNETTE,
823
00:38:51,863 --> 00:38:53,098
GIVEN WHAT'S GOING ON
IN HER MARRIAGE.
824
00:38:53,131 --> 00:38:55,467
OR CARLOS, GIVEN WHAT'S
GOING ON IN MINE.
825
00:38:57,569 --> 00:38:59,605
SO YOU DON'T THINK
WE SHOULD DO ANYTHING?
826
00:38:59,638 --> 00:39:01,773
(glass clatters)
827
00:39:01,807 --> 00:39:03,409
WELL, THERE IS ONE THING
I'VE BEEN TELLING YOU
828
00:39:03,409 --> 00:39:06,077
YOU NEED TO DO.
GET RID OF CHUCK!
829
00:39:06,111 --> 00:39:08,580
YOU'RE RIGHT.
I SHOULD, BUT, UM--
830
00:39:08,614 --> 00:39:09,715
BUT WHAT?
831
00:39:09,748 --> 00:39:11,817
THIS IS GONNA SOUND STRANGE.
832
00:39:11,850 --> 00:39:15,787
HE MAKES ME FEEL SAFE.
833
00:39:15,821 --> 00:39:17,989
SAFE? YEAH, I DO THINK
THAT'S STRANGE,
834
00:39:18,023 --> 00:39:20,058
ESPECIALLY NOW THAT
SOME LUNATIC KNOWS.
835
00:39:20,091 --> 00:39:23,429
BUT YOU'VE GOT TO END THIS,
AND YOU'VE GOT TO END IT NOW.
836
00:39:25,831 --> 00:39:28,033
CHUCK?
837
00:39:32,604 --> 00:39:34,706
NOW ISN'T THAT FUNNY?
838
00:39:34,740 --> 00:39:36,675
I WAS JUST THINKING
TO MYSELF,
839
00:39:36,708 --> 00:39:39,645
"HOW AM I GONNA WASH MY BACK
IN THE SHOWER?"
840
00:39:39,678 --> 00:39:41,046
AND THEN YOU WALK IN.
841
00:39:41,079 --> 00:39:42,614
SERENDIPITY, HUH?
842
00:39:44,049 --> 00:39:47,653
SORRY. I'M GONNA PASS.
843
00:39:47,686 --> 00:39:50,622
OKAY.
844
00:39:52,524 --> 00:39:54,960
IS, UM...
845
00:39:54,993 --> 00:39:56,194
SOMETHING ON YOUR MIND?
846
00:39:56,227 --> 00:39:59,665
IT CAN WAIT.
847
00:39:59,698 --> 00:40:01,032
BREE...
GO AHEAD.
848
00:40:01,066 --> 00:40:03,134
TAKE YOUR SHOWER.
849
00:40:06,004 --> 00:40:07,773
(sighs)
850
00:40:10,642 --> 00:40:13,645
(shower running)
851
00:40:22,754 --> 00:40:28,760
(telephone rings)
852
00:40:28,794 --> 00:40:30,596
(ring)
853
00:40:30,629 --> 00:40:31,697
(beep)
854
00:40:31,730 --> 00:40:33,131
(exhales deeply) HELLO?
855
00:40:33,164 --> 00:40:34,633
(woman)
I have a collect call
856
00:40:34,666 --> 00:40:36,201
from Fairview Correctional
Institution.
857
00:40:36,234 --> 00:40:38,537
Will you accept
the charges?
858
00:40:38,570 --> 00:40:41,139
YES.
859
00:40:41,172 --> 00:40:43,975
(Paul)
Bree, it's Paul Young.
860
00:40:44,009 --> 00:40:45,744
I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT
WHAT YOU ASKED ME--
861
00:40:45,777 --> 00:40:49,047
you know, who might have known
about Mary Alice's note.
862
00:40:49,080 --> 00:40:50,048
YEAH?
863
00:40:50,081 --> 00:40:52,951
WHEN I CONFESSED TO THE MURDER
OF MARTHA HUBER,
864
00:40:52,984 --> 00:40:54,653
I MENTIONED THE LETTER
TO THE POLICE.
865
00:40:58,023 --> 00:41:00,025
WELL, DO YOU REMEMBER
WHO THESE POLICEMEN WERE?
866
00:41:00,058 --> 00:41:01,960
The main detective
was a tall guy
867
00:41:01,993 --> 00:41:04,930
WITH A SHORT NAME LIKE,
UH, PENCE OR VINCE.
868
00:41:04,963 --> 00:41:08,967
WAS IT VANCE? CHUCK VANCE?
869
00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:10,969
YES, THAT'S IT.
870
00:41:11,002 --> 00:41:12,538
I HAVE TO GO.
871
00:41:12,571 --> 00:41:14,706
(beep, receiver clatters)
872
00:41:16,241 --> 00:41:18,076
(shower turns off)
873
00:41:20,145 --> 00:41:21,547
(wallet thuds)
874
00:41:22,781 --> 00:41:25,250
OKAY. I KNOW THAT WAS
THE SHORTEST SHOWER
875
00:41:25,283 --> 00:41:28,086
I'VE EVER TAKEN, BUT I...
(sighs)
876
00:41:28,119 --> 00:41:29,988
I REALLY DIDN'T LIKE THE LOOK
ON YOUR FACE BEFORE.
877
00:41:30,021 --> 00:41:32,958
BE HONEST WITH ME, BREE.
878
00:41:32,991 --> 00:41:35,093
ARE YOU ABOUT
TO BREAK UP WITH ME?
879
00:41:38,196 --> 00:41:42,067
(sighs) OF COURSE NOT.
880
00:41:43,702 --> 00:41:48,006
IN FACT, LET'S GET YOU BACK
IN THAT SHOWER. (giggles)
881
00:41:51,009 --> 00:41:55,046
YES, IN THE DIVIDED WORLD
OF THE SUBURBS,
882
00:41:55,080 --> 00:41:59,585
EVERYONE IS LOOKING FOR
SOME WAY TO MAKE A CONNECTION.
883
00:42:01,152 --> 00:42:05,757
SOME SEEK TO CONNECT BY
FOCUSING ON A GREATER GOOD...
884
00:42:08,259 --> 00:42:12,698
SOME BY REVEALING
A COMMON HISTORY...
885
00:42:15,333 --> 00:42:21,239
SOME BY SHARING A PAIN
NO ONE ELSE CAN HEAL.
886
00:42:23,675 --> 00:42:25,210
THEN THERE ARE THOSE
887
00:42:25,243 --> 00:42:28,614
WHO ONCE SOUGHT
TO MAKE A CONNECTION...
888
00:42:30,381 --> 00:42:35,921
THAT THEY NOW WANT DESPERATELY
TO ESCAPE.
63604
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