All language subtitles for Batman S02E58 Flop Goes the Joker.DVDVRip.NonHI.en.WB

When we last saw Robin...

the artful Joker had hung
him on a gigantic Bat-Mobile...

along with dozens of giant palette
knives, about to slice him to slivers...

with Bruce Wayne securely
tied to a nearby chair...

in the monstrous mobile
room of Joker's studio.

In one moment, we'll find out
whether Robin's saved or shaved.

Bruce, you've got
to do something.

- These blades are getting lower and lower.
- We've got one chance, Robin.

If I can get to that governor
and stop this creation of Joker's.

You can do it, Bruce.

Stick with it.

I seem to have loosened
one of these bonds.

- Good work, Bruce.
- Robin, work yourself loose.

Disengage one of those
knives and get down here.

Quickly, disconnect
the drive belt.

That was close. Not
much room for error.

From now on, all the
errors are on Joker.

I think we'll prepare a
little surprise for him, Robin.

Soon Robin will be gone
forever and I will be rich forever.

When your priceless art
treasures are delivered to me.

Joker, you could at least untie
us. My hands are getting stiff.

Oh, but of course, my dear. The
Joker is nothing if not magnanimous.

How about me?

Well, my generosity does not
extended to overweight matrons, madam.

Joker, that's not very nice.

Well, we artists are not
required to be nice. Only talented.

Oh, speaking of which, my latest creation
should have completed its work by now.

What a beautiful
sight. Beautiful.

Oh, what magnificent, beautiful
red blood Boy Wonder had.

Has, Joker. That's not blood.
That's some of your red paint.

My beautiful red blood is still
inside me, no thanks to you.

Go! Get them!

Aah!

Baby Jane, those philistines in
there intend to do me bodily harm.

You've got to stand by me.

After you tied me up and
tried to steal my art collection?

But I couldn't help myself,
my dear. I'm an artist.

Oh, I have a desire for things of
beauty. Beauty's irresistible to me.

Oh, that's why I'm so
attracted to you, my dear.

- Really?
- Oh, I swear it, on a stack of blue boys.

Thank you. But I had to let
him knock me around a little bit.

We don't want these crooks to make any
connection between Bruce Wayne and Batman.

Gosh, that's right, but it's sure a
tough way to throw them off the track.

Fortunately, I'm
in good condition.

But we still have to round up the
leader of these artistic failures. Come on.

I did it all for art,
Baby Jane. All for art.

Can you doubt that I'm a great
artist after seeing my paintings?

Your paintings were
impressive, Joker.

Certainly not the work
of an ordinary mind.

Aah! Stay away from me.

That juvenile delinquent has
no appreciation for fine art.

- Baby Jane, you're not going to protect him.
- He's just a misguided artist, Robin.

And we're going to re-guide him,
straight to the Gotham State Penitentiary.

But the art collections haven't been
delivered yet, so he hasn't stolen anything.

And as for the kidnapping, I
for one refuse to press charges.

And as for them, they're all worn
out from climbing the social ladder.

While I alone, with my filthy rich
Daddy's money and prestige...

am in a position to keep
them from reaching the top.

Well, I certainly wouldn't
press charges, Baby Jane.

It won't help you, Joker.
Bruce Wayne will press charges.

- He was born on top of the social ladder.
- Yes, I am reasonably secure socially.

However, if Baby Jane thinks
the Joker is simply misguided...

I must defer to her judgment.

You're a sweetie, Brucie.

And now I have my very
own artist to play with.

- I am at your command, my dear.
- Come on, you big hunk of genius.

Ta-ta, Boy Bungler, and tell
your chicken-hearted partner...

that if I catch him on the street,
I'll run him out of town. Ha-ha-ha!

- Why didn't you press...?
- Let's untie the ladies first, Boy Wonder.

Oh, thank you so much,
Robin. Mr. Wayne, thank you.

Why didn't you press charges?

It's dangerous. You and I have been
seen together often enough as it is.

Letting him go. He's not only free,
but he thinks Batman's afraid of him.

Don't worry, Joker won't be
under that delusion for long.

Presently in the handsome mansion
of Baby Jane's filthy rich father...

Do have some more chicken,
Joker. You need your strength.

I could exist on two grapes
and a thimble of water.

But my muse, my
muse is starving.

More chicken for
the Joker's muse.

Tell me, Joker, where do you
get your ideas for your paintings?

Ah, inspirations, my dear, from my
muse and from beautiful admirers.

If only I could feel that I'd
inspired a great work of art.

Oh, don't worry, my
dear. You will, you will. Ah!

A message from my muse.

- What does it say?
- Ah! Clear the table.

- Paint. Bring me paint.
- Charles, you heard the Joker.

Never mind, I brought
my own. Ha-ha-ha.

Ah, yes. Thank you. Ha-ha-ha.

Whoo! Ah, ha-ha-ha.

Oh, beautiful,
beautiful, beautiful.

Whoo! Oh,
magnificent, magnificent.

Magnificent. Look
at that. Magnificent.

Never seen anything
so beautiful in my life.

What a magnificent artist I am.

Ooh, a veritable masterpiece.
All right, boys, go to work on it.

But, Joker, that's a
priceless antique table.

Out with the old,
in with the new.

- Joker, they're destroying it!
- Oh, not destroying, my dear. Creating.

Look at it this way. You're not losing
a table, you're gaining a masterpiece.

- I see you removed the stain, Alfred.
- Yes, sir.

The Batnaphtha
finally did the trick.

Now I can start returning the
signs I removed from the Bat-poles.

What about removing Joker?

We must anticipate Joker's next
move and be there waiting for him.

How can you predict what
a kook like that will do?

The criminal mind, erratic as it is,
nevertheless has certain characteristic patterns.

For instance, Joker has
begun an artistic caper.

I suspect he'll continue it.

And he can count on
Baby Jane Towser's help.

Yes, I'm afraid he's completely
bamboozled that poor girl...

and I'm sure
he'll try to use her.

The question is, how?

Think of it, my dear. You'll
be tell your grandchildren...

that you witnessed the
turning point of 20th century art.

These paintings
should be in the Louvre.

Or in the Gotham City Museum.

There's no room in the Gotham
City Museum. It's filled up.

Yes. And with what? A lot
of dusty relics of the past.

Outworn and outmoded.

No, we'll go down there tonight and replace
those old relics with my brand new paintings.

- But we can't do that, Joker.
- Why not?

Don't you think my
paintings are good enough?

After all, they were once your
very valuable antique dining table.

Of course your paintings
are marvelous, but...

Then it's all settled.

I happen to know that your filthy rich
daddy has a special founder's key...

- to the Towser Wing of the museum.
- Yes, he does, but...

Do you want your genius,
me, to find another inspiration?

Oh, no. Joker, I must
always be your inspiration.

Then go get Daddy's key.

The Towser Wing of the museum
is being renovated this week.

Which will make it all the easier for
us to make our little, uh, exchange.

Alfred should be finished shortly, Robin,
and we can put our little plan into effect.

The Batphone.

- Yes, commissioner.
- The Joker's been too quiet, Batman.

I'm worried. A whole day
and nothing's happened.

That larcenous phony has something
under his hat besides his head.

- Yeah. BATMAN:
The chief is right.

Robin and I would like
to handle this ourselves.

Especially since Joker has been
spreading ugly rumors about me.

Whatever you think best...

but no one could believe for a second that
you're afraid of that cackling cutpurse.

Thank you, commissioner.

The chief and I won't
move until we hear from you.

I hope that won't be
too long, commissioner.

And tell Chief O'Hara...

that Robin and I have something
in our pockets besides our hands.

Right.

I'm all through, sir.

Let's have a look, Alfred.

I've done my best.

Fine, Alfred.

And that night in the Towser
Wing of the Gotham City Museum...

There. Now all the world
can see what a genius I am.

- And what an inspiration I am and my table.
- Oh, of course, my dear.

Joker, what are you gonna do with all the
dusty old relics that used to hang here?

Ah, that junk? I'll take it to
the city dump and burn it.

Now, be a good girl and go and
get another one of my masterpieces.

Careful, you dolt. Those paintings
are priceless. How many are left?

- This is the last one, Joker.
- Have you loaded them onto the truck?

All but this one. Where
should we take them?

To the last place where the
Gotham City Police expect us to go.

- Our old studio.
- Right. Ha-ha-ha! Get going, boys.

- Here's another masterpiece.
- Ah!

Won't the museum
directors be surprised?

Ooh! Hoo, hoo! They'll
be overjoyed, my dear.

Let me see that. There's
a good place over there.

Handle them carefully, boys.
There's 10 million under those blankets.

Well, I can't understand
you, my dear, if you mumble.

Well, you're almost as bad as my
muse. I could never understand her either.

Well, art styles change,
but crime goes on forever.

Is that why I'm tied up?
After all I've done for you?

Been your biggest booster?

Friendship ends when real
felony finally takes over. Ha, ha.

Mm. Keep an eye on her.

- Commissioner Gordon. JOKER:
Working nights, commissioner?

- Joker.
- Joker?

I've decided to give you
a present, commissioner...

for being so nice to
me all these years.

If you're trying to offer
me a bribe, Joker...

A bribe? Oh,
don't be ridiculous.

I intend to present you...

with the entire Renaissance collection
of the Gotham City Museum as a gift.

Renaissance art
collection? How did you...?

Never mind how, commissioner.
I've got it and I'm giving it to you.

Now, isn't that nice of me?

Of course there's a slight
delivery charge, about $10 million.

Payable within an hour or
I burn the entire collection.

When Batman gets
his hands on you...

Batman? Ha! That Cowardly Creep?

He's so scared of me he doesn't
dare come out of his Batcave.

You might as well forget help
from Batman, commissioner...

and start thinking
of my 10 million.

- Good evening, Joker.
- Oh!

Oh, Batman, you're
on the line too.

Well, ha-ha-ha.

- Oh, hiding out in the commissioner's office?
- I hope you don't mind, Joker.

Oh, you better stay inside, Batboob,
because if I catch you outside...

I'm going to pin your pointed
ears back, do you hear?

Of course, Joker. What's this
I hear about stolen paintings?

Oh, I have dozens of them,
and each one an old master.

- You don't say.
- Yes, I do say.

You Caped Clotpoll. You
switched paintings on me.

These are nothing but
kindergarten drawings.

Naturally. And even a kindergarten mind
could have anticipated your every move.

This caper was even
more obvious than most.

You can say that over the phone, Batman, but
if I had you here, I'd pound you to a pulp.

Start pounding, Joker.

It's music to me ears.

It is, Chief
O'Hara. It is indeed.

Beautiful. Beautiful.

Oh, it's horrible, horrible.

Oh, while the Dynamic Dimwits are
flapping my flunkies, I'll make my escape.

But first a trip to Bruce Wayne's
house to pick up some quick cash...

so I can hide out
for few months.

And get even with that rich fink for
quitting my kidnap keeper this morning.

He's gone.

Knowing the Joker's need for
cash and his dislike for Bruce...

- You think he's headed for Wayne Manor?
- I'm sure of it. Come on, to the Batmobile.

- Where's Bruce Wayne?
- Mr. Wayne is not at home, sir.

Too bad. I'll get
my revenge later.

Right now, I'll settle for
cash. Where's the safe?

My duties do not include
aiding and abetting thievery.

Oh, no?

- I see.
- Ha-ha-ha.

This way, sir.

Please be calm, madam.

One peep out of you
and I'll blow your head off.

- Where's the safe?
- Over there.

- Oh, my, you poor little thing.
- Behind the picture, sir.

There's no safe there. Aah!

Alfred, be careful. The
Joker's an arch-criminal.

- I know, madam, but a very poor fencer.
- You Anglo-fink, I'll smash you to smidgens.

May I point out that smidgens
is a childish effusion...

which should have no place even
in so poor a vocabulary as yours, sir.

Stand back. Stand
back, I say, or I'll...

- Aah? What's this?
- Don't touch that.

Ah, ha! A secret passage.

- Alfred, what's happened?
- The Joker tripped the Bat-pole switch...

- and mistook this for a secret passage.
- He's down in the Batcave.

He didn't quite make the
Batcave, Master Robin.

- Then where is he?
- I believe he should be arriving presently.

Emergency Bat-pole
elevator. Fast thinking, Alfred.

Thank you, sir.

Someone get me off this crazy
dumbwaiter. I can't breathe!

Joker says he can't breathe, Alfred. Why
don't you give him some breathing space?

With pleasure, sir.

Oh, no! Aah!

It's lucky you didn't get around
to washing our other costumes...

or Joker might have found
himself wearing a Bat-costume.

I think we better see
about Baby Jane Towser.

Alfred, it looks like
you can handle things.

I believe everything is well in hand, sir,
and the young lady's in the living room.

Now, now, Ms. Towser,
it wasn't your fault.

Anyone could be misled
by the Joker's slick talk.

But I was so
gullible, Mrs. Cooper.

Oh, Batman and Robin,
thank heaven you're here.

- Is Alfred all right?
- Yes, he's just fine, Mrs. Cooper.

Batman, I'm so sorry for all
the trouble I've caused you.

It was an honest mistake, Baby
Jane. No one blames you for it.

I blame myself.

It'll be a long time before anyone
catches me in another art gallery.

It'll be an even
longer time for Joker.

- By the way, where is Joker?
- Right now, Joker's having his ups and downs.

You might say that.

Help!

Alfred, old pal,
have pity. Ho-ho-ho!

We Anglo-finks
have a long memory.

I really shouldn't take pleasure
in another creature's misfortunes...

but, uh, occasionally one may be forgiven
for a slight twinge of satisfaction.

Of course, there's no telling what
the public is going to like, you know?

Personally, I never understood modern
art. I've always liked Whistler's Mother.

- To tell the truth, so have I.
- Shh!

Someone might hear you
and you'd lose a fortune.

Which would decrease the proceeds to the
Wayne Foundation Free-Nursery School...

- to which Alfred is donating his profits.
- It is the least I could do, sir.

Especially in view of the,
uh, nature of the paintings.

Excuse me, I think I see a
customer ripe for plucking.

I mean, interested in buying.

I don't understand it at all.
It must be very profound.

Notice the large green blob.

Hmm. Yes, I see what
you mean. Very profound.

Well, Alfred, it's not everyone who can
have his first efforts displayed at Park's.

Thank you, sir.

The Joker and his paintings are in prison
and Alfred and his paintings are at Park's.

A rather nice turn of events.

- And very fine paintings they are too, Alfred.
- You really think so, sir?

Oh, indeed I do. Why,
uh, they're masterpieces.

Perhaps you'd like to own one.

Yes, yes, I would, but,
uh, I can't afford the price.

Oh, that's no obstacle, sir.

Allow me to present you with
this one as a token of my esteem.

Mother machree.