All language subtitles for 9-1-1.S06E12.720p.WEB.x265-MiNX

Bobby?

Bobby, open up.

He ever gone MIA
like this before?

No.

Honestly, I-I don't know
much about his story

before he took over the
house, just that he, uh...

- he's in recovery.
- Hey, wait, wait, wait.

Hear that?

Bobby?

Help.

God, grant me
the serenity to accept

the things I cannot change...

The courage to
change the things I can,

and the wisdom to
know the difference.

That's it for today.

But remember, whether it's been
24 hours since your last drink,

or 24 years...

we've all found the
courage to be here.

And hope to see you again soon.

Nice to see you, brother.

See you next week.

- Hi.
- Hi. Good to see you, too.

You've been here before.

Nope.

I've been there myself.

In that foxhole.

Hiding out in the back row,

the thousand-yard stare.

Guarded. Hiding
from undue shame.

I have been on that
same battlefield.

But I don't take you
for a fellow Marine.

Maybe a... cop.

Firefighter.

I'm right only a
third of the time.

I know those crossed arms
are supposed to be a sign

that you don't want company.

Sorry to tell you, for me,

it's a signal, that
someone needs support.

You might not
think so right now.

But you made it a point
to come here today.

Some coworkers brought me in.

You drinking at work?

- It happens.
- Not to me.

I know this isn't
your regular meeting,

but do you have a regular
someone to talk to?

I did back in Minnesota,
but not since I moved here.

Mostly I just go to church.

I'm all for talking
to the man upstairs.

But sometimes...

you need someone
who can talk back.

I've been feeling a little lost.

Then let's help you
find your way back.

You think that somebody
did this on purpose?

- Good morning.
- Good morning.

Mm.

Looks like you've
been up awhile.

Oh.

Yep. Wendall's son called.

Medical examiner finally got
the toxicology results back.

And the official finding is that
Wendall died of a drug overdose.

And since he didn't die

on the premises of
the rehab facility...

They're closing the
investigation into Winding Path?

- Yeah.
- Aww.

It's not like any of
this is a surprise.

There's been dozens of
investigations into that place,

nothing ever sticks.

I'm sorry, baby.

Four months of searching

and this is all
we've come up with.

It's not all.

I was thinking about that
girl that you and May met,

- at Winding Path.
- Tamara.

Yeah.

Maybe it's time to try
talking to her again.

You did say that May thought she
was making progress with her.

Until the conversation
turned to Wendall.

And then Tamara shut her down
and cut off all communication.

With May.

I'm thinking she
might talk to me.

We're both in recovery.
We both knew Wendall.

Could be an opening.

Athena, I need to talk to her.

There might be a way.

♪ Don't wait too long to
tell the ones you love ♪

♪ Every single wish you had ♪

♪ Wish you had... ♪

Hi. Tamara?

Yeah, uh, do I know you?

I'm May's stepdad.

I think she told you about me?

Ambushing people
in flower shops.

Is that the family trait?

I didn't know how else
to get ahold of you.

May said you stopped
returning her calls.

Usually a sign that someone
doesn't want to talk to you.

Okay, listen, I'm sorry for
just showing up here like this,

but Wendall was a
really good friend.

And he pulled me out of
more than a few dark places.

I think you knew him, too.

If you knew him like I did,

you know he was a good man.

And he did not
deserve to die alone

in an abandoned lot like that.

No matter what was
going on with him.

He
didn't die there.

What?

He didn't die there.

Okay.

Listen, Tamara,
he came to see me

a couple days before he died,

and I could tell
something was off,

but I couldn't tell
what, and I didn't push.

Now, Wendall, you know,
he-he would've pushed.

He wouldn't have given
up until I let him in.

I let him in, too.

And then I pulled
him down with me.

Pulled him down?
What do you mean?

Is this after you met
him at Winding Path?

No. We met before that.

Wendall was never
a patient there.

He only checked
himself in to help me.

To help all of us.

He knew something was
wrong with that place.

And he was gonna prove it.

Prove it how?

You have to let this go.

Or you'll end up like Wendall.

Hey, you do remember that
I-I live alone, right?

But you're supposed
to be taking it easy

and letting your body heal,
so I thought I would save you

a few trips to
the grocery store.

For the next six months?

For however long it
takes you to recover.

Maddie, I'm fine.

Buck. You died.

Okay? And not almost,

you actually died.

We don't know the long-term
repercussions of that.

Well, it was only
for three minutes.

Come on. If I can't
make a joke about dying,

what's the point in living?

Okay, uh, hey, don't
you have a shift today?

Are you trying to get rid of me?

No, I'm just turning the tables.

You know, I'm starting
to worry about you

because you have a job,
you have a new house,

you have a little girl
that needs taking care of.

- You shouldn't be running over here all the time.
- I don't mind.

Well, I can tell
that you don't mind,

but I promise you I can
take care of myself, okay?

My fingers are not broken,

I can order my own food.

Although, I will admit that pot
roast does smell pretty good.

It'll be ready in two hours,
you can have it for lunch.

Well, maybe I'll take
a nap until then.

Fine, I'm going to work now.

Uh, listen, hey,
um... thank you, okay?

I do appreciate
what you're doing,

it's just I don't need
you to fuss over me.

I'm just glad that you're
still here to fuss over.

Yeah, me, too.

And then
she just ran off.

That girl was so scared.

Yeah, with good reason.

Maybe that's why they
gave her a job there.

Keep tabs on her, make
sure she doesn't talk.

Hmm.

She said Wendall
was going to prove

that something was
wrong at Winding Path.

That's why he
checked himself in.

I guess he wanted to see for
himself what was going on there.

Yeah, maybe to collect evidence.

What kind of evidence?

Sounds like an undercover sting.

You know, send someone
in posed as a criminal,

to bear witness to the
commission of a crime.

Well, that would be
a police operation.

As far as we know, Wendall wasn't
working with the authorities.

Oh, you don't have to be
police to go undercover, Bobby.

Journalists, filmmakers, even
private citizens nowadays.

Right. All you need is a camera.

Here.

A $300 purchase to an
electronics website.

Same week he died.

Okay, even if Wendall installed
the camera, that was months ago.

What do you think the chances
are any recordings still exist?

Not sure. But...

I do know some people who
might be able to tell me.

I'm gonna take this
down to the station

and ask the techs.

Hey. Thank you.

I don't know if I ever slowed
down enough to tell you

how much I appreciate
you doing this with me.

You know, Wendall wasn't
your sponsor and...

Look, I know how
important he was to you.

And to this family.

You're not the only
one who misses him.

Sorry. Did I wake you?

Uh, it's okay.

Thought I'd swing by and
see how you're doing.

Make sure you're not
climbing the walls.

Nope, just-just the stairs.

Something smells good.

Is that pot roast?

It is. Uh, come on in.

You're just in time for lunch.

Your sister makes
a good pot roast.

Uh, yeah. It's kind
of her go-to meal.

Karen makes it in a Crock-Pot.

We, uh, we never had
one of those growing up.

My father always
said it was a fad.

He might've been
thinking of a fondue pot.

Though those do
keep coming back.

Every ten years, like clockwork.

I think someone gave me one
of those when I moved in here.

In fact, uh, I think it was you.

Karen and I got four
when we got married.

I'm still trying to get
rid of the last two.

Re-gifting is my love language.

Uh, hey, so did I pass?

The Dr. Wilson follow-up exam.

Or do you need to check my
pulse while you're here?

Oh, you know what? I should.

Okay. Uh, ow. What was that for?

Ungratefulness.

So what'd your cardiologist say
that's gotten you so cranky?

Um, nothing.

No, she just keeps on ordering
tests and doing scans.

I had to wear this Holter
monitor device for two days.

And I couldn't use my
cell phone or microwave.

But I just keep on waiting
for her to tell me I'm okay.

Or that I'm not okay.

Just something. Instead,
it's just more tests.

You think it's
gonna be bad news?

That's the thing.
I-I don't know.

I mean, I really
do, uh, I feel fine.

But?

But I also felt pretty good

right before I got
struck by lightning.

You're mistaking
a mistake, Bobby.

You're the one who told me
to get back out there again.

I thought you'd be happy.

I actually thought you'd try to
take credit for the whole thing.

I told you to get out and
date, maybe some nice dinners,

a couple of movies,

maybe some sexy fun
times between the sheets.

Don't worry, all that's
definitely happening.

I wanted you to rejoin
the world and live.

But asking this
woman to marry you?

You haven't even
been together a year.

That's impulsive.

And acting impulsively is
dangerous for people like us.

But you need to meet her,
it's how she makes me feel.

Like you're flying high?

Like I'm standing
on solid ground.

After years of having...

nothing to hold on to,

no way to keep myself from
spinning out of control,

I found her and...

with that, maybe a
piece of myself again.

Just do us both a favor

and slow down a little.

At least promise it'll
be a long engagement.

So no luck tracking
down the purchase?

Not yet.

I've been trying to get ahold
of whoever runs the website,

but it's a phone tree labyrinth.

The tech guys

did mention something
interesting, though.

When Wendall's body was found,
he didn't have a camera on him.

Yeah, the fire...

They say there
should have been something.

Melted plastic. A
piece of circuitry.

Which means maybe it wasn't
a camera that you wear.

It could've been a camera
that you leave behind.

You think a
camera could still be

at Winding Path?

Maybe. If it's small enough,

or something that could be
disguised as something else,

they might not even
know it was there.

Uh, listen, I got to go.

I'll call you as
soon as I know more.

- Love you.
- Love you, too.

Connor.

Hey, uh... did my
sister call you?

- Was she supposed to?
- No.

Uh, come on in.

Can I get you a
drink or anything?

Yes, please.

I just wanted to check
on you, though, man.

I brought some brownies.

Un, not the special
kind of brownies

- Kyle's mom used to make?
- No.

I still don't understand the
point of a fiber brownie.

Right, uh...

Hey, man, so how is everything?
How-How's Cameron doing?

Uh, she's great, actually.

You know, I thought pregnancy
was gonna be more like

naps and morning sickness,

but the woman's got
more energy than ever.

That's great, right?
Must be exciting.

Yeah. Yeah, I think so.

You hope for
something for so long

and then when it
finally happens...

it doesn't quite feel real.

Well, uh, it's gonna feel
pretty real pretty soon.

Yeah, yeah, it's gonna be great.

Um, but what about
you, though, man?

I tried calling.

Uh, yeah, I was-I was
living in a cell-free zone.

But no, I-I'm good,
I got no complaints.

Just waiting for the
doctor to give me

the all-clear to resume my life.

All the rest and relaxation
starting to get to you, huh?

You know, there's been less
of that than you might think.

Uh, give me one second.

I brought Sudoku.

Hi, Josh.

Oh, sorry.

- Did I get my time wrong?
- I don't know.

What time did Maddie
tell you to be here?

Uh...

Okay.

I promise that you
didn't ruin anything, Josh.

He was on to me way
before you showed up.

But thanks for
checking in on him.

Okay. I'll see you tomorrow.

- Hey.
- Hi.

Let me guess.

Operation Buck Up
Buttercup has been blown?

He was suspicious
of the pot roast,

but he figured it out by Sudoku.

Because, as much as I like
making fun of your brother,

he's not an actual idiot.

Which is good news.

Because I know you're
worried about him

doing too much, too fast,

but I think he's taking
his recovery seriously.

I really hope so.

What is this?

That is a fondue set.

Hen dropped it off.
No, I don't know why.

Is that Buck?

Julie Rosen.

She and some of the guys were
supposed to bring him dinner.

He was not home,
but he left a note:

"Tell Maddie I went out."

Uh-oh. He's gone on the lam.

Hey.

Please don't ask me how I am.

Okay.

- Want a beer?
- Eh, probably more than one.

Guess all that company
must've wore you out.

All right.

Cheers.

Hello?

Hi.

Tamara, is that you?

Are you high?

Please
don't be mad at me.

I feel like everyone's
always mad at me.

I am not mad at you.

You seem really nice.

Wendall was really nice, too.

Maybe that's why you
guys were friends.

I don't have any friends.

Wendall tried...

but he's dead now.

Maybe I can be your friend.

Carrie and Trey
wouldn't like that.

They say I'm only safe

under their supervision.

Well, I don't think that's true.

Why don't I come and get you?

- You'd do that?
- Yeah.

That's... really nice.

You seem really nice.

But I think it's
too late for that.

No, no.

I just
wanted to say...

I'm really sorry about Wendall.

I wish I could say that to him.

- Uh...
- I...

Maybe I can soon.

Tamara?

I'm so tired.

Tamara?

Tamara.

And I'm
tired now. So tired.

You've reached
Athena Grant. Leave a message.

Athena, Tamara just called me.

Sounded like she's
in really bad shape.

I feel like I got
to go check on her.

Give me a call
when you get this.

How did I pass out so fast?

You fell asleep before I got the
beers out of the refrigerator.

- Sorry.
- Nah, no worries. Still want that beer?

Uh... Maybe some water.

Agua on the way.

Thank you.

There you go, sir.

I mean, it-it's fine if
you want to have a beer.

I already did. Both of them.

Right.

Hey, what do you remember
about getting shot?

There was a searing pain.

It felt like I got hit by a bus.

And I was still standing.

I remember falling.

And everything got dark.

And I thought, this is it.

This is the last
moment of my life.

Then I woke up in the hospital.

And that was it?

That was it.

No bright white lights, no
trippy mind puzzles, just...

thought I was dead and...

then I wasn't.

So now am I allowed
to ask how you are?

Uh...

Honestly, Eddie, I...

I don't know.

You died, Buck.

You're gonna feel a lot of
different ways about that.

Sometimes all at the same time.

I found the best way
to process it is to...

allow yourself to feel it.

Yeah, but you... You do
eventually, right? You...

You process it.

Every day you open your
eyes in the morning,

you feel a little less surprised
the world is still there.

I know you.

I'm looking for Tamara.

I told you before, we don't
give out information...

I know, patient confidentiality.

- Yeah.
- But she called me from here and asked me to pick her up.

Who called you?

Tamara.

Well, she's a very
troubled girl.

- You can save it. Where is she?
- Not here.

Whatever you said must've
really scared her.

- Tamara!
- Is that how you like

to spend your time?
Terrorizing young women?

Hey. This is private property.
I'm gonna ask you to leave.

Hey.

Leave!

Trey!

I'm calling 911.

Yeah. Ask them to send
someone to arrest you.

- I'd like to report an intruder.
- Tamara!

- And an assault in progress at the Winding Path Residence.
- Tamara!

Tamara!

Tamara?

Everyone out! He's dangerous!

Tamara?

- Do you know Tamara?
- Mm-mm.

Tamara!

Tamara?

Tamara!

Tamara.

Tamara. Tamara. Can you hear me?

Can you hear me?

It's you.

I didn't think you'd come.

She said you'd come,

but I didn't believe her.

What? Who-who said that?

Carrie. She said
you're a do-gooder.

All right, Tamara, let's
get you out of here.

Nice and easy. Come here.

This is the room
where people die.

Nope, nobody's dying in here.

Wendall died in here.

- What?
- He said he was gonna

take them down, but
they got to him first.

Come here. Come here. Come on.

Okay, is this where
Wendall hid the camera?

Do you know where the camera is?

He said they'd never find it.

I think someone burned
the toast again.

Smoke?

Tamara, the building's
on fire! We got to go!

Why is it always fire with them?

Hang on to me.
Come on, let's go.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on, Tamara. Come on.

Come on, Tamara. Stay with me.

Stay with me, Tamara. Come on.

Let's go.

Okay, all right.
Come here. Okay.

Okay. You're okay.

A little
help! Over here!

She's gonna need to be treated

for smoke inhalation
and narcotic use.

Probably opioids.

You got her?

Thank you.

We'll take care of her.

All right.

What have we got?

Detective Phelps,
these are our witnesses.

That's him!
He pushed his way in

and he attacked my husband.

And said that he
would make us all pay.

What are you talking about?

And then he started the fire.

- Arrest him!
- That is a lie.

He's been here before.

He harassed me a
couple of months ago.

We've always tried to
protect our residents,

but we had no idea what
this man was capable of

until it was too late.

That's his truck
right over there.

Reeks of gasoline.

Go check it out.

Is that your vehicle, sir?

Yeah, that's my truck,
but I have no idea

how that got there.

He barged in and the whole
place went up in smoke.

Quite an accusation.

He has a history.

His family died in a very
suspicious fire in Minnesota.

This is what he does.

I've taken statements from
Carrie and Trey Walsh.

And the receptionist at
Winding Path, Rochelle.

They've got quite a lot to say.

Most of it's not good for you.

Evidently you were
seen on the property

more than once
after Wendall died.

And they of course have
surveillance footage

they are more than
happy to provide.

They say you harassed
several of their employees.

Including some sort of
threat at a flower shop?

The word "stalking"
was used several times,

by multiple people.

So, look, here's
what I'm looking at.

I got a pile of ash where
there used to be a house.

And I've got a suspect
who knows an awful lot

about starting fires.

And I got witnesses who
are willing to testify

they saw you start the fire.

And I got physical evidence

that corroborates
this whole story,

that was found in the
back of your truck.

I mean, it's a lot.

I don't even think a jury's

gonna leave the
courtroom to deliberate.

They're gonna
pronounce you guilty

before they even leave the box.

Save everybody an
awful lot of time.

I got a perfect
trail of breadcrumbs

leading straight up
to your front door.

But here's my problem:

I don't trust perfect.

See, I think there's
more to this story.

And I think that if
I'm gonna hear it,

it's gonna come from you.

I can help you, Captain,
if you talk to me.

I have someone I
need you to call.

Your friend planted
a camera at Winding Path?

We think so.

I looked when I went
inside, couldn't find it.

Bobby had no idea what
he was looking for.

A camera can look like
almost anything nowadays.

But we finally

tracked down the guy who sold it

and he told me where to look.

You feeling all right, Tamara?

What about the
firefighter? Is he okay?

He's safe. He's in custody.

Carrie and Trey say that he's
the one who set the fire.

No. That's not what happened.

Then why don't you tell
us what really happened?

Wendall said this camera
was gonna save us all.

But instead it got him killed.

I'd been in and out of
Winding Path for over a year.

And never really
getting any better.

One day, I walked
past this church.

The sign said all were welcome.

That's how I met Wendall.

I know it's hard.

I know what you're
going through,

and believe me, I have
been there before.

I don't think you have.

Why don't you try me?

I told him
about Winding Path.

How it never seemed
like anyone got clean.

I can't do anything right.

About the overdoses.

Five that I knew about.

I was so scared, but Wendall...

he got mad.

There's got to be a way
to stop these people

before anyone else dies there.

Carrie and Trey are
too smart for that.

They always have a plan.

Maybe we need to
make our own plan.

He checked himself in.

Said his employer
was making him do it.

The fee was pretty steep,

but he only needed a couple
hours to fool Carrie and Trey.

By the time the check
bounced, he'd be long gone.

I knew that he'd be searched

so I smuggled the camera in.

Do you need me to
help you with that?

It's better if you don't
know what I do next.

That way you don't have to lie.

Okay. The office is down
the hall to the right.

They keep everything there.

I was supposed to
find Carrie and distract her.

But I guess she was
already on to us.

- You need to hurry up.
- Where's Carrie?

I don't know. Something's wrong.

What are you doing in here?

I just got turned
around, just...

Big house, lots of rooms.

She was just telling me to
get the hell out of here.

Is that all?

Yeah. That was all.

I saw the two of you
in the hallway earlier.

Thick as thieves.

And now I find you in
here, together again.

And I can't help but wonder...

just how stupid
do you think I am?

- Carrie, it's not like that.
- Tamara.

We took you in.

When you were at your lowest.

No one wanted to deal with you.

Your own parents couldn't
wait to get rid of you.

But we, we cared for you,
despite your numerous flaws.

And all we asked
for in return...

is honesty.

I'm sorry, Carrie, I'm sorry.

This is my fault.
This is my fault.

She didn't want to bring
me here. I insisted.

- Why?
- Someone mentioned this might be the place where I could,

you know, find something
to take the edge off.

Oh.

All you had to do was ask.

Sorry. Not sure
about the rules here.

Oh, we don't have that
many hard and fast rules.

Everybody's path to
recovery is different.

Thanks.

Think I'll take this to my room.

You'll take it here.

That is a rule.

Not really one to put on a show.

Okay.
Don't take it then.

Maybe Tamara will.

She's been shockingly sober
for the past few weeks.

It's very unlike her.

Um...

Sure. It's been a while.

It was a test.

And I failed.

But Wendall still
tried to cover for me.

Uh, sorry. I think
this is... mine.

We'll
give you a minute.

Tamara, a word.

Who is he? And what
is he doing here?

I don't know. He's
just some guy.

- You're lying.
- No, I swear.

Wendall...

Oh, my God.

- He's dead. Wendall...
- You did this.

This is your fault.

- I'm so sorry.
- Trey!

Get in here!

- Come back.
- Now!

Trey!

If I hadn't told
Wendall the truth...

if I hadn't brought him
to Winding Path Residence,

he'd still be alive.

Carrie lies about everything.

But I think that
part... was true.

Wendall wasn't
like other people.

Anyone else looks away when
they see someone's pain.

Wendall didn't do that.

He took it on, made it his own.

That's what he did for me.

Wendall broke his sobriety so
that Tamara could keep hers.

He thought he could take it.

Pass Carrie's test
and save them both.

He didn't know it
would kill him.

I think he would've
done it anyway.

Folks, please stand
back. Give us some space.

Let's go.

It was all her idea.

All of it.

I just raised the initial seed
money to start Winding Path.

She said that you
can't make money

running a legitimate
rehab center.

If you're too good,

the customer only pays once.

We offered
them salvation.

But my husband
got too ambitious.

It was all her idea.

It was her idea to call

that fire captain
and lure him there.

She used Tamara as bait.

Hello?

Hi.

He said what?

Your husband's
taking a plea deal.

You're the last one
going down with the ship.

Trey thought if we burned
the whole place down,

we could get the
insurance money.

And run.

Turned on each other like
a pack of hungry dogs.

Did you get everything you need?

Oh, and then some.

Yeah, those two
were real talkers.

You know, it turns out
they've done this before.

Operated another dirty rehab?

- Mm.
- Well, we searched for other locations

operated by the Walshes.

But never found any.

They weren't Walshes then.

When we started looking for
other privately owned rehabs

that conveniently
burned to the ground

when authorities started
asking questions,

first one in Westchester County,

the other one in Palm Beach.

- Grifters got to grift.
- Yeah.

Thanks, Detective.

It'll be good to see
these two put away.

No problem.

I don't really feel
like I did much.

Oh, hey, Sergeant?

Sorry about Wendall's death.

Everyone we interviewed
said he was a good guy.

He was.

You're
looking good.

You passed your
cardiac stress test

and your troponin levels
have stabilized quite nicely.

How you feeling?

Yeah, like I'm getting
my strength back.

Good.

Your O2 levels are
consistently above 96,

so I take it you're not
having any trouble breathing?

No, none.

Well, at this point,

there aren't really any
remaining medical reasons

you can't return to all
your regular activities.

Including resuming
full-time employment

as early as next week
if you so choose.

Really? You-You're sure?

Would you like a second opinion?

Well, it's just you keep
on ordering these tests.

I was doing my due
diligence as a doctor.

I've also been having this
weird feeling, like a...

sense of dread.

It's not unusual, given
what you've been through.

My sister keeps
on looking at me,

uh, like she thinks
I'm gonna die.

Again.

Well, that I cannot
help you with.

Uh...

Hey, you, um...

You see people who've
been through...

near-death experiences
all the time, right?

It's an unfortunately large
percentage of my clientele.

What happens to them after?

They just... go back to
their same old lives,

go back to being
the same old people?

Some do.

They tell
me that almost dying

makes them appreciate
what they have.

But for others, they'll
walk out of my office and...

decide to quit their job,
or leave their spouse.

And for some reason, a lot
of them want to go to Italy.

That's one place
I've never been.

What I've learned
from watching them

is that water finds
its own level.

And people do, too.

Recovery is a bumpy road.

But eventually...

everyone finds
their equilibrium.

Even if it is in
another country.

I got this.

No way, you
got the last one.

I didn't realize
we were keeping track.

Bobby.

Sorry, am I ambushing you again?

Not at all. It's
great to see you.

Well, it's good to see you, too.

I heard you were
working here now,

- I wanted to check up on you.
- It's crazy, right?

The owner saw the
story on the news

-and reached out,
offered me a job, -Ah.

On the condition
that I stay clean.

How's that going?

It was a rough detox, but...

I'm feeling a lot better now.

- Good.
- Or at least remembering what it used to feel like.

Before all of this.

Well, I am really glad to
see you back on your feet.

Thanks to you.

And him.

- Yeah.
- I still can't believe it.

No, you've been through a lot.

May take you some time to...

put all those
feelings into focus.

No, I just mean I can't
believe that the both of you

went to these great
lengths to help me.

When neither of you
really even knew me and...

didn't owe me anything.

I was just someone sitting

in the back of the
room at a meeting.

So was I.

You have to stop
trying to fix me.

- Buck, that's not...
- The cooked meals,

the groceries, the
babysitting brigade,

it-it's all too much.

I'm just trying to help you.

I know you are. But I
can take care of myself.

But I don't want you to
feel like you have to.

Look, when I was
sick, I felt so alone.

And I didn't want
to ask for help

because I didn't
want to be a burden.

But then I just...

I kept drifting
farther away until...

Till you were gone.

Whatever it is you're feeling,
you don't have to hide it.

Um...

When-when I wake up,

uh, and I mean like
every single time,

I have this-this checklist now

that I run in my head,

like a way to test
that I'm really here.

So, what do you check?

First, uh, time of day.

For some reason, it's never
night in my coma dream.

Then I-I text Bobby,

make sure he's okay.

Today is a special day.

Today was meant to be
a day of celebration.

Because today...

would've been my friend
and sponsor Wendall's...

ten-year anniversary
of sobriety.

We talked about milestones like
this when I first got here.

Actually, when I first got here,
Wendall did most of the talking.

And we started setting
these goals for ourselves.

He had his, I had mine.

And slowly they became the same.

And more slowly still,

along with others,

Wendall helped save my life.

And he reminded me that there
is always a reason to live,

to fight for another day.

And that no matter how
dark that tunnel gets,

there's always a light
at the end of it.

And that part of that darkness

is believing that
it will never end,

that we will never be free.

But that is a lie.

That is a lie.

And our addiction is
fuel on that fire.

So now if I find myself
walking down that dark tunnel,

I will know that Wendall
is still with me.

All I have to do is
reach out my hand.

Thank you for coming
and celebrating

our dear lost friend.

And I want to finish
by asking if...

anyone feels a burning need
to use or do self-harm,

because if so, we are here...

to listen and help.

Oh, excuse me.

Well, Wendall would
be very proud.

I hope so. Thank you.

You ready to get out of here?

I think I need a few minutes.

You take all the time you need.

- All right. I love you.
- Love you.

Mind if I sit?

♪ Gone are the dark
clouds that had me blind ♪

♪ It's gonna be a
bright, bright... ♪

Think I've been where
you are right now.

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