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1
00:00:00,371 --> 00:00:01,964
Ah, the Halloween couple's costume!
2
00:00:02,133 --> 00:00:04,777
From "Alien vs. Predator"
to "Little Shop of Horrors,"
3
00:00:04,957 --> 00:00:05,753
back in the day,
4
00:00:06,107 --> 00:00:08,673
dressing up was always
better in pairs...
5
00:00:08,708 --> 00:00:10,108
well, for everyone except Erica.
6
00:00:10,144 --> 00:00:11,942
Boom! This year, you and me are going
7
00:00:11,978 --> 00:00:13,544
as the white hot hit-making duo,
8
00:00:13,580 --> 00:00:15,913
Daryl Hall and John Oates!
9
00:00:15,948 --> 00:00:17,448
No and no.
10
00:00:17,484 --> 00:00:18,583
I don't get it either.
11
00:00:18,618 --> 00:00:20,951
In my day, there were only two costumes,
12
00:00:20,987 --> 00:00:22,453
a ghost and a witch.
13
00:00:22,489 --> 00:00:23,421
Please, Erica!
14
00:00:23,456 --> 00:00:24,855
You know it's always been my dream
15
00:00:24,891 --> 00:00:26,357
to go to the Halloween dance
16
00:00:26,393 --> 00:00:27,825
in a bad-ass couple's costume
17
00:00:27,860 --> 00:00:29,294
based on clever wordplay!
18
00:00:29,329 --> 00:00:30,328
Geoff, I love you.
19
00:00:30,363 --> 00:00:32,430
But your dream is beyond embarrassing.
20
00:00:32,465 --> 00:00:34,064
I knew you'd be resistant and nasty,
21
00:00:34,100 --> 00:00:36,100
which is why I came up
with some backups so good
22
00:00:36,135 --> 00:00:37,435
you can't possibly say no!
23
00:00:37,470 --> 00:00:38,369
Terrific!
24
00:00:38,405 --> 00:00:40,738
I always enjoy a good presentation!
25
00:00:40,774 --> 00:00:42,473
Look, we can be Tim Burton's best movie!
26
00:00:42,509 --> 00:00:43,474
"Beetlejuice"!
27
00:00:43,510 --> 00:00:44,475
I'm the beetle. You're the juice.
28
00:00:44,511 --> 00:00:45,943
"Falcon Crest."
29
00:00:45,978 --> 00:00:47,312
Doctor. J.
30
00:00:47,347 --> 00:00:48,346
John. Candy.
31
00:00:48,381 --> 00:00:49,747
LEGGO my EGGO.
32
00:00:49,783 --> 00:00:50,948
Corn. Dog.
33
00:00:50,983 --> 00:00:53,884
Or we circle back to
Daryl Hall and John Oates!
34
00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:54,785
Comments...?
35
00:00:54,821 --> 00:00:56,320
What's happening right now?
36
00:00:56,355 --> 00:00:57,387
Good question, Pops.
37
00:00:57,423 --> 00:00:58,689
Trust me, this will make sense
38
00:00:58,724 --> 00:01:00,191
if you just wear the cough drops.
39
00:01:00,226 --> 00:01:01,525
Geoff, listen to me.
40
00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:03,760
I am not going to some corny
high-school Halloween dance.
41
00:01:03,796 --> 00:01:05,062
Fine! But just so you know,
42
00:01:05,097 --> 00:01:06,831
I find it very hurtful that you insist
43
00:01:06,866 --> 00:01:08,999
that my innovative ideas
are always embarrassing!
44
00:01:09,035 --> 00:01:10,367
Aah!
45
00:01:10,402 --> 00:01:11,969
♪ I'm twisted up inside ♪
46
00:01:12,004 --> 00:01:15,372
♪ But nonetheless, I
feel the need to say ♪
47
00:01:15,407 --> 00:01:17,875
Synced and Corrected by YesCool
www.addic7ed.com
48
00:01:17,910 --> 00:01:19,210
♪ I don't know the future ♪
49
00:01:19,245 --> 00:01:23,380
♪ But the past keeps
getting clearer every day ♪
50
00:01:23,415 --> 00:01:25,716
It was October 23rd, 1980-something,
51
00:01:25,751 --> 00:01:27,918
and I was ready for a
Halloween horror marathon
52
00:01:27,954 --> 00:01:29,786
with my girlfriend, Jackie.
53
00:01:29,822 --> 00:01:31,421
Okay, so, I narrowed it down
54
00:01:31,457 --> 00:01:32,989
to these 29 horror movies.
55
00:01:33,024 --> 00:01:34,858
I think all we need is one.
56
00:01:34,893 --> 00:01:36,625
"Nightmare on Elm Street."
57
00:01:36,661 --> 00:01:38,494
Yeah, I'm not so sure.
58
00:01:38,529 --> 00:01:41,464
Something about Freddy
Krueger really freaks me out.
59
00:01:41,499 --> 00:01:43,132
It could be the face or the claws
60
00:01:43,168 --> 00:01:45,301
or the whole fall-asleep
and-you-die concept.
61
00:01:45,337 --> 00:01:46,369
Oh, don't worry.
62
00:01:46,404 --> 00:01:47,503
I'll protect you.
63
00:01:47,538 --> 00:01:49,072
No. That's my job!
64
00:01:49,107 --> 00:01:51,274
And you know my number-one rule,
65
00:01:51,309 --> 00:01:52,208
No scary movies.
66
00:01:52,244 --> 00:01:54,177
That's the thing, it's not scary.
67
00:01:54,212 --> 00:01:56,612
"Elm Street" is actually
a very charming Rom-com.
68
00:01:56,647 --> 00:01:59,415
"High school friends are
slaughtered in their sleep
69
00:01:59,450 --> 00:02:01,684
by the predatory monster
of their shared nightmares"?
70
00:02:01,719 --> 00:02:02,585
Gah!
71
00:02:02,620 --> 00:02:03,887
What's the worst that can happen?
72
00:02:03,922 --> 00:02:05,021
I don't know.
73
00:02:05,056 --> 00:02:06,722
Why don't you ask Joyce
Dimarco's son Anthony?
74
00:02:06,758 --> 00:02:08,557
He didn't sleep for three years
75
00:02:08,593 --> 00:02:10,126
after watching "The Exorcist,"
76
00:02:10,161 --> 00:02:11,660
so his body never grew.
77
00:02:11,696 --> 00:02:13,896
Well, now he's a 4'7" adult man
78
00:02:13,931 --> 00:02:16,664
who needs a special stool to use a sink!
79
00:02:16,700 --> 00:02:18,867
Mom, I've slept enough
to reach every sink!
80
00:02:18,903 --> 00:02:20,668
I'm old enough to see this movie!
81
00:02:20,704 --> 00:02:22,737
Okay, fine. You wanna
rent a scary movie?
82
00:02:22,773 --> 00:02:24,672
Here. "An American Tail"?
83
00:02:24,708 --> 00:02:25,640
It's bone chilling.
84
00:02:25,675 --> 00:02:27,442
It's about a Russian-Semitic mouse
85
00:02:27,477 --> 00:02:29,144
named Fievel Mousekewitz
86
00:02:29,179 --> 00:02:30,779
who immigrates to America.
87
00:02:30,814 --> 00:02:31,813
How is that scary?!
88
00:02:31,848 --> 00:02:33,648
Well, he gets separated from his mama.
89
00:02:33,683 --> 00:02:35,317
But don't worry. He finds her again.
90
00:02:35,352 --> 00:02:36,885
Ohh! I just ruined the whole thing!
91
00:02:36,921 --> 00:02:39,087
Well, it doesn't matter,
'cause you're gonna love it!
92
00:02:39,123 --> 00:02:40,688
I'm gonna get us some cheesy snacks
93
00:02:40,724 --> 00:02:41,689
for my little mouse man.
94
00:02:41,725 --> 00:02:42,690
Don't worry.
95
00:02:42,726 --> 00:02:44,559
We'll still get to watch us some Freddy.
96
00:02:44,594 --> 00:02:45,593
Really? How?
97
00:02:45,629 --> 00:02:47,930
I had a feeling your
mom would make us go PG,
98
00:02:47,965 --> 00:02:49,998
so I had my parents rent it for us...
99
00:02:50,034 --> 00:02:51,466
unless you're too scared?
100
00:02:51,501 --> 00:02:52,401
Are you kidding?
101
00:02:52,436 --> 00:02:53,568
It's cool.
102
00:02:53,603 --> 00:02:55,437
I mean, how scary can
a little claw glove be?
103
00:02:55,472 --> 00:02:56,938
[Suspenseful music plays] Oh, God!
104
00:02:56,973 --> 00:02:59,273
That claw is really
freaking me out, man!
105
00:02:59,309 --> 00:03:00,842
Tell me when the claw's off the screen!
106
00:03:00,877 --> 00:03:02,610
Hey, pumpkins! Having fun?
107
00:03:02,646 --> 00:03:03,578
Mnh.
108
00:03:03,613 --> 00:03:04,546
Yeah, fun stuff.
109
00:03:04,581 --> 00:03:06,548
Dad, you've gotta see this movie.
110
00:03:06,583 --> 00:03:07,882
It's totally terrifying.
111
00:03:07,918 --> 00:03:09,250
That's 'cause it's
based on a true story.
112
00:03:09,285 --> 00:03:10,452
Wait, what?!
113
00:03:10,487 --> 00:03:11,986
[Imitating Freddy Krueger]
Freddy's coming for you!
114
00:03:12,021 --> 00:03:13,354
- You can sleep when you're dead!
- What?!
115
00:03:13,389 --> 00:03:14,923
[Normal voice] I'm just messing with you.
116
00:03:14,958 --> 00:03:16,057
But the movie is terrifying.
117
00:03:16,092 --> 00:03:17,158
Have fun!
118
00:03:17,193 --> 00:03:19,727
It's true. Freddy scared me to my core.
119
00:03:19,763 --> 00:03:21,095
Meanwhile, Geoff was still afraid
120
00:03:21,130 --> 00:03:22,630
he'd never get his couple's costume.
121
00:03:22,666 --> 00:03:25,199
Please, all I'm asking
for is five measly minutes
122
00:03:25,234 --> 00:03:26,634
as Daryl Hall and John Oates!
123
00:03:26,670 --> 00:03:27,769
For the millionth time,
124
00:03:27,804 --> 00:03:29,704
I'm not going to some
lame high-school dance.
125
00:03:29,739 --> 00:03:30,638
But it won't be lame
126
00:03:30,674 --> 00:03:32,474
because you make everything cooler.
127
00:03:32,509 --> 00:03:33,675
That's why you're Halls!
128
00:03:33,710 --> 00:03:36,010
It's known for its icy-cold
penetrating vapor action!
129
00:03:36,045 --> 00:03:38,011
I made a promise the day I graduated
130
00:03:38,046 --> 00:03:40,180
to never return to this hell hole again.
131
00:03:40,215 --> 00:03:41,147
Which reminds me...
132
00:03:41,183 --> 00:03:42,215
- Get out.
- Here?
133
00:03:42,250 --> 00:03:43,717
But this is the auxiliary parking lot.
134
00:03:43,752 --> 00:03:44,818
If you wanna bum rides off me,
135
00:03:44,854 --> 00:03:46,152
this is the best you're gonna get.
136
00:03:46,188 --> 00:03:48,021
'Cause the last thing I need
is for someone to spot me...
137
00:03:48,056 --> 00:03:49,122
Well, well!
138
00:03:49,157 --> 00:03:50,557
If it isn't one of
our illustrious alumni,
139
00:03:50,593 --> 00:03:52,025
Erica Goldberg!
140
00:03:52,060 --> 00:03:53,026
Hey, Mr. Glascott.
141
00:03:53,061 --> 00:03:54,160
Um, don't you have
142
00:03:54,196 --> 00:03:56,262
your own, like, teacher's
spot or something?
143
00:03:56,298 --> 00:03:58,231
I do, but there's always
a student parked in it,
144
00:03:58,266 --> 00:03:59,466
so I park here
145
00:03:59,502 --> 00:04:01,802
and then wear a pair of
comfortable walking shoes.
146
00:04:01,837 --> 00:04:03,303
Cool stuff, very sad, gotta go!
147
00:04:03,338 --> 00:04:04,738
Oh, wait, before you run off,
148
00:04:04,773 --> 00:04:06,740
do you mind coming in
and talking to the kids?
149
00:04:06,775 --> 00:04:08,942
It's very inspiring for
them to hear a success story
150
00:04:08,978 --> 00:04:10,410
from one of our former students.
151
00:04:10,445 --> 00:04:12,379
I would, but being
back here is depressing,
152
00:04:12,414 --> 00:04:13,947
so no way never?
153
00:04:13,983 --> 00:04:14,848
[Laughs]
154
00:04:14,884 --> 00:04:16,550
That's the sassafras I remember!
155
00:04:16,585 --> 00:04:17,851
Come on, we can walk together!
156
00:04:18,953 --> 00:04:20,853
Young minds, look who it is!
157
00:04:20,889 --> 00:04:21,921
Erica Goldberg!
158
00:04:21,956 --> 00:04:22,822
[Chuckles]
159
00:04:22,857 --> 00:04:24,657
She's here to tell you all about
160
00:04:24,692 --> 00:04:27,360
the magical and exciting
chapter after high school!
161
00:04:27,396 --> 00:04:29,429
Well, I went to college in DC...
162
00:04:29,464 --> 00:04:32,098
Ooh! Where the President lives.
163
00:04:32,134 --> 00:04:34,467
And then I dropped out
to follow my real dream,
164
00:04:34,503 --> 00:04:36,036
which is being a rock star.
165
00:04:36,071 --> 00:04:37,103
Intriguing.
166
00:04:37,139 --> 00:04:38,538
Could you expound on
the risks and rewards
167
00:04:38,573 --> 00:04:39,972
of leaving academia behind?
168
00:04:40,008 --> 00:04:40,973
Good Lord, no!
169
00:04:41,009 --> 00:04:42,042
So in your experience,
170
00:04:42,077 --> 00:04:43,543
would you say college
was a waste of time?
171
00:04:43,578 --> 00:04:45,145
I would say high school
was a waste of time.
172
00:04:45,180 --> 00:04:46,146
No, no, no, no, no!
173
00:04:46,181 --> 00:04:47,280
I knew it!
174
00:04:47,315 --> 00:04:49,315
The whole American
educational system is bogus!
175
00:04:49,351 --> 00:04:51,017
Man, this really turned on me!
176
00:04:51,053 --> 00:04:52,018
Please just leave!
177
00:04:52,054 --> 00:04:53,086
You were right, Schwartz.
178
00:04:53,121 --> 00:04:54,387
Coming back to school
wasn't so bad after all.
179
00:04:54,423 --> 00:04:55,455
[Sighs] Later, turds!
180
00:04:55,490 --> 00:04:56,722
[Crunches]
181
00:04:56,758 --> 00:04:58,558
She just ate my new apple.
182
00:04:58,593 --> 00:04:59,725
Turns out,
183
00:04:59,761 --> 00:05:01,561
going back to the
place Erica used to rule
184
00:05:01,596 --> 00:05:03,162
was just the ego boost she needed.
185
00:05:03,197 --> 00:05:05,598
Some days I just wake up
and I go, "You know what?
186
00:05:05,633 --> 00:05:07,199
I'm gonna do nothing today,"
187
00:05:07,234 --> 00:05:08,834
and I go right back to sleep.
188
00:05:08,870 --> 00:05:10,069
You're my hero.
189
00:05:10,104 --> 00:05:11,236
Yep, that fateful day,
190
00:05:11,272 --> 00:05:12,872
she was back to being the Queen of Cool.
191
00:05:12,907 --> 00:05:14,674
- This bad boy stuck again?
- Mm-hmm.
192
00:05:15,944 --> 00:05:17,443
Some things never change.
193
00:05:17,478 --> 00:05:18,243
Wow!
194
00:05:18,279 --> 00:05:19,946
You're like the Fonz but hot!
195
00:05:19,981 --> 00:05:21,180
Aay!
196
00:05:21,215 --> 00:05:22,882
'Cause Fonzie.
197
00:05:22,917 --> 00:05:24,116
That is, until the Queen of Cool
198
00:05:24,151 --> 00:05:25,718
became the Master of Just Not Leaving.
199
00:05:25,753 --> 00:05:27,319
'Sup! [Chuckles]
200
00:05:27,354 --> 00:05:29,321
My dude!
201
00:05:29,356 --> 00:05:31,123
Hey, hang in there, bro!
202
00:05:31,158 --> 00:05:32,692
Like the bangs, random girl!
203
00:05:32,727 --> 00:05:35,461
Ruben Jr., doin' what you do!
204
00:05:35,496 --> 00:05:37,229
Wait, I thought that girl graduated?
205
00:05:37,264 --> 00:05:38,931
That's 'cause she did.
206
00:05:38,967 --> 00:05:40,632
While Erica was
overstaying her welcome...
207
00:05:40,667 --> 00:05:42,467
I was over-caffeinating.
208
00:05:42,502 --> 00:05:44,302
Who's up for Pancake Dippers?!
209
00:05:44,337 --> 00:05:45,369
Whoa-Whoa!
210
00:05:45,405 --> 00:05:47,072
Take off that striped
Freddy sweater right now!
211
00:05:47,107 --> 00:05:48,106
Oh. Dammit.
212
00:05:48,141 --> 00:05:49,874
Are you strung out on Jolt Cola again?
213
00:05:49,910 --> 00:05:51,375
- Gimme the can.
- No, no, no, no!
214
00:05:51,411 --> 00:05:52,243
I need my wakey juice!
215
00:05:52,278 --> 00:05:53,678
My God, you look schluffy.
216
00:05:53,714 --> 00:05:55,179
A Mama can always tell!
217
00:05:55,215 --> 00:05:57,716
- What's going on with you?
- Okay, fine!
218
00:05:57,751 --> 00:05:59,851
I'm too exhausted to mount a defense!
219
00:05:59,886 --> 00:06:01,886
I watched "Nightmare on Elm Street"
220
00:06:01,922 --> 00:06:02,887
at Jackie's house.
221
00:06:02,923 --> 00:06:04,589
What? Where were Vinny and Lynn?
222
00:06:04,625 --> 00:06:05,690
They rented it for us.
223
00:06:05,726 --> 00:06:07,892
Knowing full well that
it's a terrifying movie
224
00:06:07,928 --> 00:06:09,961
- about Fredward Kroeger?!
- Yes!
225
00:06:09,997 --> 00:06:12,030
'Cause they trust Jackie
and respect her opinion
226
00:06:12,065 --> 00:06:12,864
'cause she's an adult
227
00:06:12,899 --> 00:06:14,298
who can make her own decisions.
228
00:06:14,334 --> 00:06:15,366
Sweet God!
229
00:06:15,401 --> 00:06:16,901
What else happens in this lawless house
230
00:06:16,937 --> 00:06:19,303
- built on the trust of children?
- Nothing!
231
00:06:19,339 --> 00:06:21,839
Vin and Lynn are cool and thoughtful
232
00:06:21,874 --> 00:06:23,340
and political and go to protests...
233
00:06:23,375 --> 00:06:25,275
Whoa, whoa, wait, they're hippies?
234
00:06:25,310 --> 00:06:26,810
Oh, no! Don't mix in, too!
235
00:06:26,846 --> 00:06:28,311
Just go back to napping!
236
00:06:28,347 --> 00:06:29,379
You never told me
237
00:06:29,414 --> 00:06:31,915
that your girlfriend
comes from hippie stock!
238
00:06:31,951 --> 00:06:33,050
Oh, no!
239
00:06:33,085 --> 00:06:35,085
Great, now you got your
father all riled up.
240
00:06:35,121 --> 00:06:36,020
My God!
241
00:06:36,055 --> 00:06:37,554
Why do you hate hippies so much?
242
00:06:37,589 --> 00:06:39,023
Because back in college,
243
00:06:39,058 --> 00:06:41,258
they were all off making free love,
244
00:06:41,293 --> 00:06:43,293
while I was making $2 an hour
245
00:06:43,328 --> 00:06:45,863
slicing rye bread in a deli!
246
00:06:45,898 --> 00:06:46,997
Enough with the rye bread, Murray.
247
00:06:47,033 --> 00:06:47,998
Take a walk.
248
00:06:48,034 --> 00:06:49,399
Yeah, yeah.
249
00:06:49,434 --> 00:06:50,801
Well, there go my big plans for the day,
250
00:06:50,836 --> 00:06:51,735
haranguing Erica
251
00:06:51,771 --> 00:06:53,370
and then Barry if there was time.
252
00:06:53,405 --> 00:06:55,906
Hm, it's all hands on
deck to get you sleeping
253
00:06:55,941 --> 00:06:57,274
like a snuggle bug again.
254
00:06:57,309 --> 00:06:58,676
It's just a few nightmares.
I don't need your help.
255
00:06:58,711 --> 00:07:01,111
Tonight we're gonna start
with a relaxing bubble bath.
256
00:07:01,147 --> 00:07:03,046
No baths. I'm a shower man now.
257
00:07:03,081 --> 00:07:04,113
After that,
258
00:07:04,149 --> 00:07:05,748
I'm gonna toast up
your jammies real nice
259
00:07:05,784 --> 00:07:06,716
in the dryer,
260
00:07:06,751 --> 00:07:08,318
and then I'll tuck you in real tight
261
00:07:08,353 --> 00:07:09,952
to seal in the safeness.
262
00:07:09,988 --> 00:07:12,722
You do know that none of
this will actually help me.
263
00:07:12,757 --> 00:07:15,192
For your information, science has proven
264
00:07:15,227 --> 00:07:17,126
that Mamas can love away the fear.
265
00:07:17,162 --> 00:07:18,361
What science proves that?!
266
00:07:18,397 --> 00:07:20,430
At Yale, they scared a thousand kids.
267
00:07:20,465 --> 00:07:22,065
Half were given mama love.
268
00:07:22,100 --> 00:07:23,700
Half were given a placebo.
269
00:07:23,735 --> 00:07:25,968
Guess which kids stopped
having nightmares?
270
00:07:26,004 --> 00:07:27,970
None, 'cause it never happened!
271
00:07:28,006 --> 00:07:30,073
I could've been a scientist.
272
00:07:30,108 --> 00:07:31,140
I rest my case.
273
00:07:31,176 --> 00:07:33,142
'Cause I could've been a lawyer as well.
274
00:07:33,178 --> 00:07:35,645
I don't care what fancy
career you gave up to raise me.
275
00:07:35,681 --> 00:07:37,980
I'll get over my nightmares by myself
276
00:07:38,016 --> 00:07:39,349
and without a bath.
277
00:07:39,384 --> 00:07:40,517
[Dramatic music plays]
278
00:07:40,552 --> 00:07:44,553
Stupid loving mother
and her soothing science.
279
00:07:44,589 --> 00:07:48,957
[Suspenseful music plays]
280
00:07:48,992 --> 00:07:50,158
Aah! Gah!
281
00:07:50,194 --> 00:07:51,660
Aah! No more sleep!
282
00:07:51,696 --> 00:07:53,429
Never ever again will there be sleep!
283
00:07:53,464 --> 00:07:55,664
C'mon, losers! Let's
see some Quaker spirit
284
00:07:55,700 --> 00:07:57,666
and support your girls' volleyball team!
285
00:07:57,702 --> 00:08:00,269
Oh, my God, I can't believe
she's back here again!
286
00:08:00,304 --> 00:08:02,204
Dang. Dude, I never
thought I'd see the day
287
00:08:02,240 --> 00:08:04,273
where you would be embarrassed by her.
288
00:08:04,308 --> 00:08:06,174
Embarrassed? No. What? C'mon.
289
00:08:06,210 --> 00:08:07,509
Erica's my dream girl.
290
00:08:07,545 --> 00:08:08,977
And now the dream is over
291
00:08:09,012 --> 00:08:11,179
and you're left with
a sad sack girlfriend
292
00:08:11,215 --> 00:08:12,615
stuck in thirteenth grade.
293
00:08:12,650 --> 00:08:13,915
- That's a thing?
- Oh, yeah.
294
00:08:13,951 --> 00:08:15,751
See, Erica's become one of those losers
295
00:08:15,786 --> 00:08:17,519
who still hangs around
after she's graduated.
296
00:08:17,555 --> 00:08:19,020
Get your cookies!
297
00:08:19,056 --> 00:08:20,889
Matt, tell me it's gonna be okay!
298
00:08:20,924 --> 00:08:23,091
I usually try and find a
positive spin on things,
299
00:08:23,127 --> 00:08:24,727
but, um, this one's hard.
300
00:08:24,762 --> 00:08:26,995
Oh, no, even eternal optimist
Matt Bradley lost hope?!
301
00:08:27,030 --> 00:08:29,330
- What do I do?!
- Hey, JTP! Over here!
302
00:08:29,366 --> 00:08:30,766
- Oh, she sees us!
- Good luck, man!
303
00:08:30,801 --> 00:08:31,900
Flee!
304
00:08:31,935 --> 00:08:33,568
Brownie on the house for
my number-one customer.
305
00:08:33,603 --> 00:08:34,669
And as your number one,
306
00:08:34,704 --> 00:08:36,104
I feel like it's my job to tell you
307
00:08:36,140 --> 00:08:37,372
that people are calling you
308
00:08:37,407 --> 00:08:39,174
a lame-ass sad sack
stuck in thirteenth grade.
309
00:08:39,209 --> 00:08:40,809
Not me! People.
310
00:08:40,844 --> 00:08:41,910
What people?
311
00:08:41,945 --> 00:08:44,179
- Wait, is it Dan?!
- Honestly, it's not.
312
00:08:44,214 --> 00:08:45,480
Oh, I am gonna make this school year
313
00:08:45,515 --> 00:08:47,615
- a living hell for that goofus!
- No!
314
00:08:47,651 --> 00:08:49,818
You can't go around school
terrorizing goofuses!
315
00:08:49,853 --> 00:08:51,319
You're an adult now! It's a crime!
316
00:08:51,354 --> 00:08:52,487
Dan brought this on himself!
317
00:08:52,522 --> 00:08:54,088
If he wants to dance, then we'll dance!
318
00:08:54,123 --> 00:08:55,522
Don't dance with Dan!
319
00:08:55,557 --> 00:08:57,524
It's me! I'm the people who think it!
320
00:08:57,559 --> 00:09:00,194
- Stop covering for Dan!
- I'm not!
321
00:09:00,229 --> 00:09:02,462
I didn't know how to
tell you, but graduation
322
00:09:02,498 --> 00:09:04,431
usually marks the end
of a high-school career,
323
00:09:04,466 --> 00:09:05,766
which seems kinda lost on you.
324
00:09:05,802 --> 00:09:08,535
The only thing that's lost
is your grip on reality!
325
00:09:08,570 --> 00:09:10,104
I am worshipped here!
326
00:09:10,139 --> 00:09:11,505
Watch!
327
00:09:11,540 --> 00:09:13,440
Attention, adoring fans!
328
00:09:13,475 --> 00:09:16,277
I'm gonna be throwing a
kick-ass pre-party for the dance!
329
00:09:16,312 --> 00:09:17,411
Keg's on me!
330
00:09:17,446 --> 00:09:19,180
[Cheers and applause] Hear that?
331
00:09:19,215 --> 00:09:21,415
Who's in thirteenth grade now?
332
00:09:21,450 --> 00:09:22,749
Thirteenth grade?
333
00:09:22,785 --> 00:09:25,519
Dammit, I was assured high
school stopped at twelfth!
334
00:09:26,721 --> 00:09:28,432
Desperate to escape
my Freddy nightmares,
335
00:09:28,611 --> 00:09:30,478
I visited the girl of my dreams
336
00:09:30,640 --> 00:09:32,410
after chugging a case of Jolt Cola.
337
00:09:32,445 --> 00:09:34,325
Hey, Lynnie. Hey, Vinny. Jackie home?
338
00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:36,893
Uh. She's upstairs watching
"Elm Streets" two through five.
339
00:09:36,928 --> 00:09:40,163
- Have at it.
- Um, I'm kind of Freddy'd out.
340
00:09:40,199 --> 00:09:43,233
Maybe I can wait for her in
one of your many well-lit rooms.
341
00:09:43,268 --> 00:09:44,968
- [Whispering] Just gonna grab this.
- You okay, big guy?
342
00:09:45,003 --> 00:09:46,903
Jackie said you haven't
been sleeping much lately.
343
00:09:46,938 --> 00:09:48,405
No, I've been getting about
344
00:09:48,440 --> 00:09:50,840
seven, eight minutes a night.
345
00:09:50,875 --> 00:09:52,842
Look, I teach kids. It's what I do.
346
00:09:52,877 --> 00:09:55,945
Do you know the best way to
conquer your deepest fears?
347
00:09:55,981 --> 00:09:57,380
Facing your fear head on.
348
00:09:57,416 --> 00:10:00,049
- Here.
- Fangoria magazine?
349
00:10:00,085 --> 00:10:01,985
They go behind-the-scenes
on all the horror movies
350
00:10:02,020 --> 00:10:03,620
and show you the special
effects and the makeup,
351
00:10:03,655 --> 00:10:04,887
and they show you how they make it.
352
00:10:04,923 --> 00:10:07,257
- Not so scary now, huh?
- That's Freddy Krueger?!
353
00:10:07,292 --> 00:10:10,059
He's just a classically
trained actor named Robert.
354
00:10:10,095 --> 00:10:11,694
This is awesome! It really was.
355
00:10:11,730 --> 00:10:14,631
Thanks to Jackie's dad,
my nightmares were over...
356
00:10:14,666 --> 00:10:15,765
or so I thought.
357
00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:17,199
- Aah!
- [Chuckles]
358
00:10:17,235 --> 00:10:19,435
Looks like my little
fun-size Snickers is awake!
359
00:10:19,470 --> 00:10:21,270
Mom! You know it's not okay
360
00:10:21,305 --> 00:10:23,039
to stare at me for hours as I sleep!
361
00:10:23,074 --> 00:10:24,907
It's hard not to admire my handiwork.
362
00:10:24,943 --> 00:10:26,009
What are you talking about?
363
00:10:26,044 --> 00:10:27,744
I got you sleeping again!
364
00:10:27,779 --> 00:10:30,346
You know, a mother's love
really is the best medicine!
365
00:10:30,381 --> 00:10:32,314
To be clear, Vin and
Lynn Geary helped me,
366
00:10:32,350 --> 00:10:33,482
not your creep-o stuff.
367
00:10:33,518 --> 00:10:34,784
I'm sorry... Vin and Lynn what, now?
368
00:10:34,819 --> 00:10:36,552
You heard me. They used Fangoria
369
00:10:36,587 --> 00:10:38,087
to help me face my fears head on.
370
00:10:38,123 --> 00:10:39,388
Ho-no!
371
00:10:39,423 --> 00:10:41,958
How dare they successfully
parent my child?!
372
00:10:41,993 --> 00:10:44,393
- Murray, get in here!
- Which moron did what?!
373
00:10:44,428 --> 00:10:46,963
- Just yell it to me!
- It's those damn Gearys again!
374
00:10:46,998 --> 00:10:48,531
They mixed in with our baby!
375
00:10:48,566 --> 00:10:50,866
- The chutzpah!
- Those stinkin' hippies!
376
00:10:50,901 --> 00:10:52,934
They don't follow the rules of society!
377
00:10:52,970 --> 00:10:54,803
Really? You guys are
that threatened by them
378
00:10:54,838 --> 00:10:57,039
just 'cause they're better
parents than you in every way?
379
00:10:57,074 --> 00:11:00,008
What did you just say?
380
00:11:00,044 --> 00:11:01,209
Not in every way!
381
00:11:01,244 --> 00:11:03,679
I meant most ways, some ways! One way?
382
00:11:03,714 --> 00:11:05,847
Those Gearys are gonna
get a crash course
383
00:11:05,883 --> 00:11:08,349
in real parenting from the Goldbergs.
384
00:11:08,385 --> 00:11:10,251
Oh, please stay away from
those nice, better people!
385
00:11:10,287 --> 00:11:11,820
Please, no. Please, no.
Please, no. Please, no.
386
00:11:11,855 --> 00:11:13,655
- Please, no.
- Gearys, we need to talk.
387
00:11:13,691 --> 00:11:15,891
- Hey, Goldbergs!
- Just bobbing for some apples.
388
00:11:15,926 --> 00:11:18,259
- You want a turn, Mur?
- Do I want communal fruit
389
00:11:18,295 --> 00:11:19,327
from a hippie tub?
390
00:11:19,362 --> 00:11:22,564
- I'm good.
- Play time's over, Gearys.
391
00:11:22,599 --> 00:11:23,764
Oh, you have got some nerve.
392
00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:26,067
I'm sorry, what exactly
are you worked up about?
393
00:11:26,102 --> 00:11:27,467
[Whispering] We have
to do something fast.
394
00:11:27,503 --> 00:11:28,803
Because of you people,
395
00:11:28,838 --> 00:11:31,105
my son stopped having night terrors.
396
00:11:31,140 --> 00:11:32,840
- You're welcome?
- How shocking,
397
00:11:32,875 --> 00:11:33,908
the hippie doesn't get it!
398
00:11:33,943 --> 00:11:35,375
Why does he keep calling us hippies?
399
00:11:35,411 --> 00:11:36,911
Because of your
head-in-the-sand
400
00:11:36,946 --> 00:11:38,545
loosey-goosey parenting style!
401
00:11:38,581 --> 00:11:40,314
Which is the reason my little angel
402
00:11:40,349 --> 00:11:42,249
started having nightmares to begin with!
403
00:11:42,284 --> 00:11:43,751
Well, maybe if he
wasn't an over-mothered
404
00:11:43,786 --> 00:11:45,452
bubble-wrapped veal child,
405
00:11:45,487 --> 00:11:47,254
he wouldn't be having
nightmares in the first place!
406
00:11:47,289 --> 00:11:48,589
[Whispering] Our parents are fighting!
407
00:11:48,624 --> 00:11:50,257
- Do something!
- Look!
408
00:11:50,292 --> 00:11:52,860
They have hay rides! Hay
makes everything better!
409
00:11:52,895 --> 00:11:55,029
Tell that to Rachel Hublitz's nephew
410
00:11:55,064 --> 00:11:56,663
who went on a hay ride
411
00:11:56,699 --> 00:11:58,832
and the open-air wagon turned over.
412
00:11:58,867 --> 00:12:00,534
They had to saw him out of the wreckage,
413
00:12:00,569 --> 00:12:02,869
and they accidentally
cut the poor boy in half.
414
00:12:02,904 --> 00:12:04,170
Now he's just a torso
415
00:12:04,206 --> 00:12:06,506
and has to ride a
special medical skateboard
416
00:12:06,542 --> 00:12:08,508
to his job at the DMV.
417
00:12:08,544 --> 00:12:10,377
- No, thanks.
- Look, it's a corn maze!
418
00:12:10,412 --> 00:12:12,011
Let's split up by family!
419
00:12:12,047 --> 00:12:13,980
Are you sure it's safe? I
bet your mom knows someone
420
00:12:14,015 --> 00:12:16,717
- who was impaled by a pointy cob.
- Move, move, move.
421
00:12:16,752 --> 00:12:18,652
I was not done speaking to you people.
422
00:12:18,687 --> 00:12:20,687
- Come on, Murray.
- While my parents were on a mission
423
00:12:20,723 --> 00:12:22,956
to school the Gearys, Erica's only goal
424
00:12:22,991 --> 00:12:26,092
was to prove she wasn't
a lame thirteenth grader.
425
00:12:26,128 --> 00:12:28,128
Hello, fine purveyor of spirits.
426
00:12:28,163 --> 00:12:29,162
I would like nine kegs
427
00:12:29,197 --> 00:12:30,864
of your cheapest and
frothiest beer, please.
428
00:12:30,899 --> 00:12:33,499
- Gonna need to see some ID.
- I was prepared for that.
429
00:12:33,534 --> 00:12:34,934
Pla-dow!
430
00:12:34,970 --> 00:12:36,535
This is a freshman college ID.
431
00:12:36,571 --> 00:12:39,038
Which proves I'm not some
high-school bozo off the street.
432
00:12:39,074 --> 00:12:42,191
- It also proves that you're not 21.
- Would it help if I told you that I
433
00:12:42,353 --> 00:12:44,092
- really need a keg to look cool?
- It would not.
434
00:12:44,127 --> 00:12:45,541
Would it matter if I
cried and/or begged?
435
00:12:45,614 --> 00:12:48,347
- Still a no.
- Please! I am in a really bad place, man!
436
00:12:48,383 --> 00:12:50,683
The validation that I'll get
from some random high-school kids
437
00:12:50,718 --> 00:12:52,351
is all that's getting me by right now!
438
00:12:52,387 --> 00:12:54,120
So, please, I gotta get a keg!
439
00:12:54,156 --> 00:12:56,656
I could just fill one up with
some crappy non-alcoholic beer.
440
00:12:56,691 --> 00:12:58,758
Seriously, dude? No one
would stoop that low.
441
00:12:58,794 --> 00:13:00,126
What up, party people?!
442
00:13:00,162 --> 00:13:01,661
Guess who got a real keg
443
00:13:01,696 --> 00:13:03,897
of genuine alcoholic beer?!
444
00:13:03,932 --> 00:13:05,798
Look, the girl that was
getting on our nerves
445
00:13:05,833 --> 00:13:07,032
finally did something cool!
446
00:13:07,067 --> 00:13:08,834
Okay, you have seriously lost it!
447
00:13:08,869 --> 00:13:11,469
You can't bring a keg-wagon to
school just to prove me wrong!
448
00:13:11,505 --> 00:13:13,538
All I'm proving is these people love me
449
00:13:13,573 --> 00:13:15,507
and I'm not in the thirteenth grade.
450
00:13:15,542 --> 00:13:18,510
Hey, pre-party before the
dance is at the water tower!
451
00:13:18,545 --> 00:13:19,812
Now cheer for me!
452
00:13:19,847 --> 00:13:20,946
[Cheers and applause]
453
00:13:20,981 --> 00:13:22,380
Nothing can touch you, Erica!
454
00:13:22,416 --> 00:13:23,748
You're untouchable!
455
00:13:23,784 --> 00:13:26,651
Miss Goldberg, you
are in serious trouble!
456
00:13:26,687 --> 00:13:28,086
My office right now!
457
00:13:28,122 --> 00:13:29,454
Ooh.
458
00:13:29,489 --> 00:13:32,224
Well, I no longer go here so
you can't tell me what to do.
459
00:13:32,259 --> 00:13:33,325
Ooh!
460
00:13:33,360 --> 00:13:34,592
Well, I'll just have you arrested
461
00:13:34,628 --> 00:13:35,760
for criminal trespassing
462
00:13:35,796 --> 00:13:38,296
and providing alcohol to minors!
463
00:13:38,332 --> 00:13:40,598
Ooooh.
464
00:13:40,634 --> 00:13:41,866
Please stop.
465
00:13:41,901 --> 00:13:43,802
Ohh. I think we've been here already.
466
00:13:43,837 --> 00:13:46,237
Well, clueless people, clueless parents.
467
00:13:46,272 --> 00:13:48,272
Okay! That's it, Beverly!
468
00:13:48,308 --> 00:13:50,608
You have seriously crossed the line!
469
00:13:50,644 --> 00:13:52,043
Please, all I did was question
470
00:13:52,078 --> 00:13:54,412
whether you should bring
another child into this world.
471
00:13:54,448 --> 00:13:57,014
- And a hippie child no less.
- Ugh, we get it!
472
00:13:57,050 --> 00:13:59,351
You hate hippies 'cause
you were lame in college!
473
00:13:59,386 --> 00:14:02,086
I worked two jobs to
get through Penn State.
474
00:14:02,121 --> 00:14:05,189
You don't think I wanted
to dance and wear beads?
475
00:14:05,225 --> 00:14:07,325
No. Can't imagine you
wanting any of that.
476
00:14:07,361 --> 00:14:09,794
You have no idea what
this complicated man wants!
477
00:14:09,830 --> 00:14:11,663
- What do we do?!
- We gotta split 'em up!
478
00:14:11,698 --> 00:14:13,697
Hurry! Goldbergs, this way!
479
00:14:13,733 --> 00:14:15,332
And I'm sorry if this sounds harsh,
480
00:14:15,368 --> 00:14:17,735
but I don't trust you
people, and frankly...
481
00:14:17,770 --> 00:14:19,370
I'm not comfortable with Adam spending
482
00:14:19,405 --> 00:14:21,438
any more unsupervised
time at your madhouse!
483
00:14:21,474 --> 00:14:23,039
Tell ya what, maybe our kids
484
00:14:23,075 --> 00:14:24,408
shouldn't see each other at all!
485
00:14:24,443 --> 00:14:25,642
- What?!
- Jackie Renee Geary,
486
00:14:25,678 --> 00:14:26,610
get to the car!
487
00:14:26,645 --> 00:14:28,712
I bet it's a Volkswagen love bus.
488
00:14:28,748 --> 00:14:31,014
It's a Saab, so suck it!
489
00:14:31,049 --> 00:14:32,683
I can't believe you two!
490
00:14:32,718 --> 00:14:34,284
Look, we are your parents,
491
00:14:34,319 --> 00:14:35,619
and we know what's best for you...
492
00:14:35,654 --> 00:14:38,555
But you don't! The
Gearys helped me, not you!
493
00:14:38,591 --> 00:14:40,624
Honestly, I wish they were my parents!
494
00:14:40,659 --> 00:14:41,625
You don't mean that...
495
00:14:41,660 --> 00:14:43,694
I've never meant anything more.
496
00:14:46,699 --> 00:14:48,164
Dead end! Still mad!
497
00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:49,832
Okay, I know all this looks super bad,
498
00:14:49,868 --> 00:14:51,768
but this isn't even real beer!
499
00:14:51,803 --> 00:14:53,803
I'm a fraud and I'm lame!
500
00:14:53,838 --> 00:14:55,505
So you'd fool a bunch of kids
501
00:14:55,540 --> 00:14:57,774
with a fake keg just to seem cool?
502
00:14:57,809 --> 00:15:01,744
You've sunk pret-ty low, Ms. Goldberg.
503
00:15:01,780 --> 00:15:02,978
Well, whattya know!
504
00:15:03,014 --> 00:15:05,247
Johnny G scored us a keg-irino
505
00:15:05,283 --> 00:15:07,450
for the teacher's
lounge Halloween mixer!
506
00:15:07,485 --> 00:15:08,484
Oh, um, this is...
507
00:15:08,520 --> 00:15:10,185
And here you guys insisted this man
508
00:15:10,221 --> 00:15:12,087
was nothing but a button-down cornball.
509
00:15:12,123 --> 00:15:14,089
Well, shows what you
all know! [Chuckles]
510
00:15:14,125 --> 00:15:15,625
Why don't we tap this
511
00:15:15,660 --> 00:15:18,594
very alcoholic bad boy,
people?! [Chuckles]
512
00:15:18,630 --> 00:15:20,195
Mr. G brought the fun.
513
00:15:20,231 --> 00:15:22,164
Unbelievable! They just stole my keg!
514
00:15:22,199 --> 00:15:23,665
How am I supposed to
impress the Seniors now?
515
00:15:23,700 --> 00:15:26,201
- That's your takeaway here?!
- God, why are you yelling at me?
516
00:15:26,237 --> 00:15:28,137
Because this is all beyond embarrassing!
517
00:15:28,172 --> 00:15:29,438
Not just for you, but for me, too!
518
00:15:29,473 --> 00:15:31,840
- Especially for me!
- Wait, I embarrass you?!
519
00:15:31,875 --> 00:15:34,076
- What's that supposed to mean?
- It means there's a reason
520
00:15:34,111 --> 00:15:35,677
that I didn't tell
anyone that we were dating
521
00:15:35,712 --> 00:15:37,313
for the first three
months of our relationship.
522
00:15:37,348 --> 00:15:38,948
You said it's because
secrets make it hotter?
523
00:15:38,983 --> 00:15:41,016
Well, here's the truth.
I didn't tell anyone
524
00:15:41,052 --> 00:15:43,452
because I was popular and
the last thing I wanted
525
00:15:43,487 --> 00:15:46,188
was for people to see me with
my brother's puppy dog friend
526
00:15:46,223 --> 00:15:49,058
who followed me around
for a decade until I caved!
527
00:15:49,093 --> 00:15:50,192
Well, don't worry.
528
00:15:50,227 --> 00:15:51,860
That ends now.
529
00:15:59,367 --> 00:16:01,668
After I disowned my mom for
ruining things with Jackie,
530
00:16:01,818 --> 00:16:03,423
she decided to try and reconnect with me
531
00:16:03,480 --> 00:16:06,073
using the thing I loved most, movies.
532
00:16:06,616 --> 00:16:08,449
Adam?! Where'd you go?!
533
00:16:08,484 --> 00:16:10,051
♪ One, two ♪
534
00:16:10,086 --> 00:16:12,086
♪ Freddy's coming for you... ♪
535
00:16:12,122 --> 00:16:13,387
♪ Three, four ♪
536
00:16:13,422 --> 00:16:15,890
♪ You better lock your door ♪
537
00:16:15,925 --> 00:16:18,092
Excuse me. Hi, um...
538
00:16:18,128 --> 00:16:19,727
I lost my little baby.
539
00:16:19,763 --> 00:16:22,663
His name's Adam, goes by "Schmoo."
540
00:16:22,698 --> 00:16:25,733
Schmoo's not here. [Cackles]
541
00:16:25,769 --> 00:16:28,136
I take it you work here.
542
00:16:28,171 --> 00:16:29,670
Try again.
543
00:16:29,705 --> 00:16:32,473
Yeah, I don't have time
for games. I lost my son.
544
00:16:32,508 --> 00:16:33,574
Oooh.
545
00:16:33,609 --> 00:16:36,710
Bad mommy lost her little brat.
546
00:16:36,746 --> 00:16:39,813
[Chuckling] I'm sorry,
who do you think you are?
547
00:16:39,848 --> 00:16:41,649
Your worst nightmare.
548
00:16:41,684 --> 00:16:43,350
[Laughs evilly]
549
00:16:43,386 --> 00:16:45,852
[Snoring]
550
00:16:45,888 --> 00:16:47,988
[Laughing evilly]
551
00:16:48,023 --> 00:16:49,156
Oh...
552
00:16:52,495 --> 00:16:54,227
Gotta hide.
553
00:16:54,263 --> 00:16:55,529
What the...
554
00:16:55,564 --> 00:16:57,631
My sweaters!
555
00:16:57,667 --> 00:16:59,933
You got good taste, lady.
556
00:16:59,968 --> 00:17:01,201
[Gasps]
557
00:17:01,236 --> 00:17:04,037
[Laughs evilly]
558
00:17:04,072 --> 00:17:06,206
Whatever, I don't care
what happens to me.
559
00:17:06,241 --> 00:17:08,542
I'm already living my worst nightmare.
560
00:17:08,577 --> 00:17:09,777
Huh?
561
00:17:09,812 --> 00:17:12,613
I thought I was doing a
pretty damn good job here.
562
00:17:12,648 --> 00:17:14,414
No, you're great with the knifey hands
563
00:17:14,449 --> 00:17:16,482
and the melting-candle face.
564
00:17:16,518 --> 00:17:18,218
It's just... [Sighs]
565
00:17:18,253 --> 00:17:20,220
Adam said he wished I wasn't his mother.
566
00:17:20,255 --> 00:17:23,056
Oh, geez. That's an awful thing to say.
567
00:17:23,091 --> 00:17:24,057
Mm.
568
00:17:24,092 --> 00:17:24,891
I'm-a kill him.
569
00:17:24,927 --> 00:17:26,159
No.
570
00:17:26,195 --> 00:17:28,461
The more I think about it,
I deserved what Adam said.
571
00:17:28,496 --> 00:17:30,563
I was terrible to Jackie's parents.
572
00:17:30,598 --> 00:17:32,432
Parents. [Chuckling] Who needs 'em?
573
00:17:32,467 --> 00:17:36,169
I never knew any of my fathers,
and I turned out just fine.
574
00:17:36,205 --> 00:17:37,670
I don't see how that applies to me,
575
00:17:37,706 --> 00:17:39,272
but I couldn't stand the Gearys
576
00:17:39,308 --> 00:17:40,673
because of the way they parented.
577
00:17:40,709 --> 00:17:44,377
But, then, they were able
to help Adam, and I wasn't.
578
00:17:44,412 --> 00:17:48,014
Eh, this is getting way too
touchy-feely for this cowboy.
579
00:17:48,050 --> 00:17:51,016
[Bleep] it, time to die!
580
00:17:51,052 --> 00:17:52,017
No.
581
00:17:52,053 --> 00:17:54,554
Time to get my [bleep] son back.
582
00:17:54,589 --> 00:17:57,790
Hey! I say the [bleep] around here, lady!
583
00:17:57,826 --> 00:18:00,259
Not anymore, Mr. Kroeger.
584
00:18:00,294 --> 00:18:01,961
Krueger! It's Krueger!
585
00:18:01,996 --> 00:18:02,762
Aah!
586
00:18:02,797 --> 00:18:04,597
[Gasps] Oh! What?
587
00:18:04,632 --> 00:18:05,698
What happened with the thing?
588
00:18:05,734 --> 00:18:06,999
Oh, I had the worst nightmare.
589
00:18:07,034 --> 00:18:08,601
I got to go talk to Adam. [Snoring]
590
00:18:08,636 --> 00:18:09,969
Okay.
591
00:18:10,004 --> 00:18:11,871
I know you said you didn't
want to talk to me anymore,
592
00:18:11,906 --> 00:18:13,138
- but I...
- It's fine, all is forgiven!
593
00:18:13,174 --> 00:18:14,106
No, it's not.
594
00:18:14,141 --> 00:18:15,975
I just had this crazy awful dream,
595
00:18:16,010 --> 00:18:16,976
and it made me realize...
596
00:18:17,011 --> 00:18:18,043
Well, live and learn!
597
00:18:18,079 --> 00:18:19,712
Life's a journey, thanks for popping in!
598
00:18:19,748 --> 00:18:21,347
Uh. What's that?
599
00:18:21,383 --> 00:18:22,714
Oh, balls.
600
00:18:22,750 --> 00:18:25,216
That is my Halloween mask.
601
00:18:25,252 --> 00:18:26,618
I'm Garfield.
602
00:18:26,653 --> 00:18:27,519
Lasagna.
603
00:18:27,554 --> 00:18:28,754
Oh, balls.
604
00:18:28,789 --> 00:18:30,389
Oh, hi, Mrs. Goldberg!
605
00:18:30,424 --> 00:18:31,289
Is Adam home?
606
00:18:31,324 --> 00:18:32,691
Hey! It's Jackie!
607
00:18:32,726 --> 00:18:35,649
Crazy girl! This is my house, not hers.
608
00:18:35,684 --> 00:18:36,528
Stop talking.
609
00:18:36,563 --> 00:18:39,598
Yeah, this one's hard to spin.
610
00:18:39,633 --> 00:18:41,700
[Doorbell rings]
611
00:18:41,735 --> 00:18:42,801
Trick or Treat.
612
00:18:42,836 --> 00:18:44,736
You can just take two
and be on your way.
613
00:18:44,772 --> 00:18:46,170
I don't want candy, Geoff.
614
00:18:46,206 --> 00:18:47,105
I want to make this right.
615
00:18:47,140 --> 00:18:48,139
Why?
616
00:18:48,174 --> 00:18:50,074
You were very clear.
I'm an embarrassment.
617
00:18:50,110 --> 00:18:52,110
Look, I know I hurt you...
618
00:18:52,145 --> 00:18:53,478
but I was just lashing out
619
00:18:53,514 --> 00:18:56,114
because I couldn't admit the truth...
620
00:18:56,149 --> 00:18:57,681
I am embarrassed.
621
00:18:57,717 --> 00:18:59,617
Of me.
622
00:18:59,652 --> 00:19:00,918
Of what I've become.
623
00:19:00,953 --> 00:19:02,653
A loser who peaked in high school.
624
00:19:02,688 --> 00:19:04,988
Maybe you think
saying all that fixes this,
625
00:19:05,024 --> 00:19:06,356
but it really doesn't.
626
00:19:06,392 --> 00:19:07,625
I know.
627
00:19:07,660 --> 00:19:11,061
But I'm hoping that going
with you to that dance does.
628
00:19:11,096 --> 00:19:12,195
Depends.
629
00:19:12,231 --> 00:19:15,065
[Hall and Oates' "You
Make My Dreams" plays]
630
00:19:15,100 --> 00:19:16,767
You ready to make my dreams come true?
631
00:19:16,803 --> 00:19:18,602
[Laughs] No.
632
00:19:20,973 --> 00:19:22,139
[Laughs]
633
00:19:22,174 --> 00:19:23,040
Darn it.
634
00:19:23,075 --> 00:19:24,475
♪ What I want, you've got ♪
635
00:19:24,510 --> 00:19:27,244
♪ And it might be hard to handle ♪
636
00:19:27,279 --> 00:19:30,580
♪ But like the flame
that burns the candle ♪
637
00:19:30,615 --> 00:19:32,950
♪ The candle feeds the flame ♪
638
00:19:32,985 --> 00:19:35,919
Hi. We're here to pick up
our lying, deceitful daughter
639
00:19:35,955 --> 00:19:37,054
who we stupidly trusted.
640
00:19:37,089 --> 00:19:37,955
[Sighs] Guess you were right.
641
00:19:37,990 --> 00:19:38,989
We're the bad parents.
642
00:19:39,024 --> 00:19:41,358
Go ahead. Rub it in our hippie faces.
643
00:19:41,393 --> 00:19:43,994
No, all I want to do is apologize.
644
00:19:44,029 --> 00:19:45,395
Really? Why?
645
00:19:45,431 --> 00:19:46,997
I was jealous.
646
00:19:47,032 --> 00:19:49,433
I thought you were the better parents.
647
00:19:49,468 --> 00:19:51,568
But both our kids are pretty great,
648
00:19:51,603 --> 00:19:56,440
so maybe there's more than
one right way to raise them.
649
00:19:56,475 --> 00:19:59,476
'Cause I realized as good
as we are with our own kids,
650
00:19:59,511 --> 00:20:01,211
we're even better as a team.
651
00:20:01,246 --> 00:20:03,246
We really are.
652
00:20:03,282 --> 00:20:04,447
I wanted to see Arlo Guthrie.
653
00:20:04,482 --> 00:20:05,314
What?
654
00:20:05,350 --> 00:20:06,983
Yeah. At Woodstock!
655
00:20:07,018 --> 00:20:08,150
But I had to work,
656
00:20:08,186 --> 00:20:10,586
and all my friends got to
jam and dance and bongo.
657
00:20:10,621 --> 00:20:11,820
Oh. That sucks, man. I'm sorry.
658
00:20:11,856 --> 00:20:12,921
Eh, whattaya gonna do?
659
00:20:12,957 --> 00:20:15,191
Well, Arlo's coming
to Philly next month.
660
00:20:15,226 --> 00:20:17,093
I could get us some tickets maybe?
661
00:20:17,128 --> 00:20:18,560
Maybe.
662
00:20:18,596 --> 00:20:21,197
♪ You make my dreams come true ♪
663
00:20:21,232 --> 00:20:23,466
So often, we're afraid of things
664
00:20:23,501 --> 00:20:25,767
because they're different
from what we know.
665
00:20:25,803 --> 00:20:28,170
But when we learn to embrace the unfamiliar,
666
00:20:28,206 --> 00:20:30,406
that's when we can truly grow,
667
00:20:30,441 --> 00:20:32,008
shed the old versions of ourselves...
668
00:20:32,043 --> 00:20:33,909
and leave our comfort zone behind.
669
00:20:33,944 --> 00:20:35,811
'Cause in the end, the
things that scare us the most
670
00:20:35,846 --> 00:20:37,945
can bring us closer
than we ever imagined.
671
00:20:37,981 --> 00:20:41,349
And that's when our
dreams really do come true.
672
00:20:41,385 --> 00:20:43,385
♪ You make my dreams... ♪
673
00:20:43,386 --> 00:20:45,702
_
674
00:20:46,123 --> 00:20:47,389
[Suspenseful music plays]
675
00:20:47,424 --> 00:20:49,024
Oh, no.
676
00:20:49,059 --> 00:20:51,192
It's the keyboard, it's evil!
677
00:20:51,228 --> 00:20:53,128
Aah!
678
00:20:53,163 --> 00:20:54,295
Ohh.
679
00:20:54,331 --> 00:20:56,844
Ohh. Oh. Bad dream.
680
00:20:57,346 --> 00:20:58,370
Keg's kicked, pal.
681
00:20:58,528 --> 00:20:59,706
Can you spot me a ride?
682
00:20:59,876 --> 00:21:02,393
Oh. I guess that is
- the responsible thing to do
683
00:21:02,428 --> 00:21:05,280
after you drank all of
these very real beers.
684
00:21:05,468 --> 00:21:06,593
Uh, where do you live?
685
00:21:06,628 --> 00:21:07,461
Paramus.
686
00:21:07,496 --> 00:21:08,728
That's like two hours away!
687
00:21:08,763 --> 00:21:10,930
Not if we make a pit stop in Secaucus.
688
00:21:10,966 --> 00:21:13,533
I got to pick up my special
protein powder from my protein guy.
689
00:21:13,569 --> 00:21:15,335
You're gonna like
that guy. He is ripped.
690
00:21:15,370 --> 00:21:17,637
And then, we can go
see my Aunt Stephanie.
691
00:21:17,672 --> 00:21:18,771
You're gonna like her. She's ripped.
692
00:21:18,807 --> 00:21:20,673
Okay, look. The beer is fake.
693
00:21:20,709 --> 00:21:21,841
You're fine.
694
00:21:21,876 --> 00:21:23,009
Get home safe.
695
00:21:24,010 --> 00:21:30,923
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