All language subtitles for Who Is America_ 1x02 - Episode 2

Ask not what your country
can do for you.

Ask what you can do
for your country.

Mr. Gorbachev,

tear down this wall!

The only thing we have to fear

is fear itself!

"Uhh, I don't know what I said. Uhh!"

synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com

Erev tov.
My name, Captain Erran Morad.

Today, we learn defense
from radical Islam terror.

Picture the scene.

You are chained to a radiator,
naked with a bag over your head.

All of a sudden, terrorists
break in and kidnap you,

completely ruining
your birthday party.

Yalla.
What we waiting for?

Let's go.

My name Erran Morad.

I was in the Mossad for--

I mean, I was not
in the Mossad for 13 years.

I here to teach you Krav Maga.
Who are you?

My name is Jason Spencer.

I'm a state representative
in the Georgia General Assembly.

That's the House
of Representatives.

Jason Spence,
a Republican,

threatened his former
Democratic colleague

after she criticized
his support

of Confederate monuments
on Facebook.

Representative Jason Spencer
says his bill

is definitely in response
to mass terrorists.

House Bill 3
would make it illegal

for people to conceal
their faces in public.

I don't call it
a burka ban.

I call it
an anti-masking statute.

- Okay.
- Okay, because--

- Politically correct.
- Because in the United--

Well, to win
in the legal system,

you cannot-- you cannot
be against the First Amendment.

See, this is how
the Muslims in the country

are using our First Amendment
against them.

You have to fight
fire with fire.

Yeah, so do you know
how to spot the difference

between somebody
who is a terrorist in a burka

and the normal woman
in a burka?

I cannot tell.

- We have developed a technique.
- Mm-hmm.

Do you want to know
how to do this?

Sure. Absolutely.

We take
a selfie stick,

and we take
a photo underneath.

It is the same that you do
with the car.

Mm-hmm.

These are photos
that I took.

Mm-hmm.

Look at these.
This was a man.

- Yeah.
- What is that?

It looks like a Glock .45.
Yeah.

You recognize this guy?

I recognize the gun.

I do not know
whether this is a woman

or a man
with a explosive.

We pretend to be

a Chinese tourist...

because the Chinese
are always taking selfie.

Okay.

Convince him or her
that you are Chinese. Go.

Konnichi wa.

Red Dragon.

Beijing.
Hong Kong.

Hong Kong.
Sushi.

Ah, I see there.
Is this a Red Dragon?

Do you speak Chinese?

Ho Chi Minh City.

Thank you.
Thank you.

Red Dragon, chopstick.

Sushi, sushi.

Good.
Let's look at the picture.

It's not a terrorist.

Because of
who you are,

you could be the victim
of kidnapping by ISIS.

You have two second
to attract attention.

How do you
attract attention?

You start screaming.

Take your clothes off.

In America,
there is one forbidden word.

It is the N-word.

Now, I am going to be
the terrorist.

You have three seconds
to attract attention.

Go!

Nigger! Nigger!
Nigger! Nigger!

Wait!
Are you crazy?

The N-word is nooni,
not this word.

This word
is disgusting.

Got it.

ISIS are scared
of being seen as homo.

- You know what it mean, homo?
- Yeah, yeah.

If your buttock
touch them,

it mean
they have become a...

Homosexual.

Now I am going to
teach you

how to use your buttocks
to intimidate ISIS.

Hmm.

Show me the buttock.
No, trousers down.

Okay. Go.

America!

Good.

One more time,
but louder with "America."

America!

Good.

We say in the Mossad--
I mean, not in the Mossad--

"If you want to win,
you show some skin."

Okay.

Okay.
Show it to me.

Now try to touch me.

I'll touch you.

I'll touch you
with my buttocks!

I'll touch you!

You better drop the gun,
or I'll touch you!

USA!

Okay. Stop.
You have to remind me,

"If I touch you,
you will become a homosexual."

Okay.

Okay?
Now try to touch me. Go!

Ah! Ah! Ah!

Go, go,
go, go, go!

Ah!

Go!
Go, go!

Ah! Ah!

USA!

USA, motherfucker.

Okay, Jason,
you show me your weapon.

Go.

I'll touch you!
I'll make you a homosexual!

You drop that gun right now!
USA!

- Okay.
- USA!

Look at me.
Okay.

Lovely.

Ah, beautiful.

Welcome back to
"The Bachelor:

The Women Tell All."

Joining me on
the hot seat, Corinne,

easily one of the most
polarizing figures

we've ever had
on the show.

Why do we have
to worry about her?

It's always like,
"Corinne, Corinne, Corinne."

I'm sick of talking
about Corinne.

I wish that all the Corinne
[bleep] was done and over with.

Charity is
very important to you.

Um, so in just a little bit,
we're going to do--

We want to show that
you are involved in a charity,

so we want to do
a little thing to say

that you are helping
Sierra Leone with Ebola.

- Okay.
- Fantastico.

Yeah.

We put you in here,
no one's gonna know

- it wasn't you.
- Oh.

And then we green screen,
and it looks beautiful.

And it's great
for the charity.

Okay, C, look a little bit
more to me now. Okay.

Looking a bit happy.
Okay.

Yeah, I think because
it's flopping down,

this bit
needs to go up,

so we put someone in green,
green screen,

and then we put them
back in.

Okay.
Oh, oh, great.

Put more, more desiring,
vulnerable, vulnerable.

Okay.
I love it.

Look at me now.
All right.

Laugh.
Okay, beautiful.

So we hope that we have
the sponsorship from Miu Miu,

so it's okay you...

So just hold here.

Beautiful.
With the Fendi glasses, okay.

So beautiful, beautiful,
beautiful.

That's it.

So charity is
so important to you.

Um, I hear that you helped
some of the kids with Ebola

in Sierra Leone,
right?

Yes.
Yes, of course.

Helping is really
important to me, so...

You know,
some celebrities went there

and didn't do anything.

You went there,
and you actually helped

carry some of
the sufferers around.

How did you
get into that?

You know, it was
one of those things

where I kind of just...

did it.

How long were you in Sierra Leone
fighting this Ebola crisis?

Um, I was there
for about a week.

- Oh, amazing.
- Yeah.

It's great.

Uh, it's possible you say
you were there for a month?

Because the thing was
about three months, so--

Okay. Yeah, but they're gonna
know that I wasn't there.

No, no, no.
We are--

I run the charity,
so don't worry.

Okay.

How long were you there
in the Sierra Leone

helping with
the Ebola?

I was there
for about a month.

Oh, that's amazing.

That's beautiful
because I heard

there was one
very brave thing that you did.

There was a warlord
in Sierra Leone,

and he wanted
to do a massacre.

And apparently,
he recognized you,

and, uh, you can tell us
the story.

He was going to do a massacre
of this village,

and what happened?

- Um, so, he recognized me.
- Wow.

And he was
a really big fan, so--

Oh, amazing.

I know.

Um, he was just, you know,
really nice, actually,

and he was
really surprised to see me.

I was surprised
he knew who I was, and...

Yeah, it was just
really humbling.

What did he say?
Did he say, "Oh, oh!"

- Did he freak out?
- Yeah.

He was, like, really excited
and freaking out,

so, I mean, it was good

because, um,
I saved 6,000 people.

It's beautiful
because I hate it

when these people
is just about their Instagram.

It's just
about themself.

- Yeah.
- Tell me more.

What did you say
when he recognized you?

What did you say
to him?

I said,
"Yes, it's me,"

and, um, I was like,
"It's so nice to meet you,"

and, you know, I feel like
because I was so kind back

and I was so positive back,
you know, it really helped

with the whole
massacre situation, so...

We are going to drain the swamp

in Washington, D.C.

He is the least-vain person
in the world.

I mean, ask anybody
at Trump Tower, Trump Casino,

any of the Trump resorts,
Trump University,

Trump steak houses
or Trump Air.

It's never about him.

I'm sitting
with Ted Koppel,

and I'm here
in Washington.

What do you think about
all the fake news

that's around
at the moment?

Uh, I think it's one of
the great threats to democracy.

Well,
I agree with you.

What we're witnessing
is liberal elites

who are trying
to bring down

the most popular president
we've had in recent times.

When you say
the most popular,

he lost the popular vote
by 3 million votes.

- You know that?
- That is fake news.

The liberal media,

which I believe
you are a part of,

spread the lie
that there were less people

at Donald Trump's inauguration
than there were at Obama's,

and that is
a plain lie.

You happen to be wrong,
but that's okay.

Well, let's look
at the evidence.

Let's look
at real evidence.

Okay.

That is a photo.

Excuse me.

May I see that?

Yeah,
that's a photo.

That is a photo of
Donald J. Trump's inauguration.

It appears
to be that, yes.

Well, look at the time,
sir, 11:56 p.m.

11 hours and 56 minutes
after the inauguration started,

there were still--

His supporters
were packed in there.

It's a daytime picture.

What is 11:56 p.m.?

Would you concede

that 4 minutes before midnight
is nighttime?

It was an eclipse.

Well, an eclipse would mean
it was dark, not light.

- Not if it was a solar eclipse.
- Of course if it was--

No, if it was a solar eclipse,
it means it would be light.

No, it means
it would be dark.

A solar eclipse is when
the moon covers the sun.

- No, a solar eclipse is when--
- Solar--

...the sun
covers the moon.

That is a lunar eclipse.

How-- Excuse me.

- That's not an--
- Fake news.

That's not
an issue of opinion.

- You were--
- In your opinion.

Not in my opinion.

There are certain things
that actually are factual.

Yes, and th-th-those things

that I'm trying
to show you, Mr. Koppel.

What are you trying
to show me?

You're showing me
a picture

of inauguration day
at daylight

with someone holding up a sign
that says 11:56 p.m.

That is a White House
official clock.

What do you mean
a White House official clock?

I've never heard
of such a thing.

What is a White House
official clock?

Well, let me say
Obama's inauguration.

You think there were
more people there, do you?

I do think there were
more people there, yes.

Well, I have evidence
to the contrary.

Do you agree that
that is the Obama inauguration?

I'm inclined to believe
that it was.

I have no reason
to disbelieve you.

- Go ahead.
- Thank you.

If we zoom in

with 35 magnification,

then we see

that these are dummies.

Somewhere between 68%
and 69%--

- I mean--
- Don't shut it down, sir.

I mean no disrespect to you,
but this is a waste of time.

Shalom.
Colonel Erran Morad here.

Today, I took a 40-minute break
from fighting terror

to meet one of the world's
greatest humanitarians.

It is a great honor to be
next to a real mensch,

Dick Cheney.
Shalom.

Well,
thank you.

It's good to be with you today.
I look forward to the program.

You started
so many wars--

Afghanistan,
Iraq one and Iraq two.

Which was your
favorite war and why?

Oh, I think it was
what we did in Desert Storm.

I really do.

I never thought of it
as having a favorite war. The--

Of course,
but you got to enjoy it, too.

Yeah, sure. I-I loved being
Secretary of Defense,

um,
especially in wartime,

especially during
Desert Storm...

It's fun.

...when we had the capacity,
you know, to--

I deployed half a million
men and women to the Gulf.

Fantastic.

- And...
- Fantastic.

...we had
stealth technology.

We had
the precision-guided munitions.

Of course.

We had all of this capability
that we developed,

and, uh, some of it was used
for the first time.

What do you think
Iraq would have been like

if you didn't
liberate it?

Would it have been
a breeding ground

for terrorists
and unstable?

Mm, I think
it would have been.

Yes. Um...

I-- We felt that it was, um,

an important
strategic interest.

I have killed
some terrorists.

How does it feel being
the king of terrorist killers?

I mean, you killed 100,000
actual terrorists

and about 700,000
potential terrorists.

Well, I--
it was never personal.

- I mean, I wasn't...
- Of course!

...in the same position
you are,

where, um, it was
"kill or be killed."

We wanted
to see more of you.

We wanted to get rid of Bush
and see more Dick.

Was that ever
your aim?

No,
never was.

And what about your family,
your wife?

Did your wife want
to see more Dick?

Well, she wasn't eager for me
to go back into politics.

We'd had a great run,

and it was never
an objective of hers.

Why is it that people
don't give you enough credit

for the many ways
that you improved

interrogation
and humane torture?

Well,
you'd have to ask them.

I...

We had a lot of
very good people working for us.

Torturers, or...?

- Uh, interrogators.
- Sure, sure.

Yeah.
We don't call it torture.

What do you call it?

Enhanced interrogation
is what we call it.

My neighbor in Tel Aviv
is in jail for murder,

or as we call it,

- enhanced tickling.
- Mm-hmm.

You know, whether you call it
enhanced tickling or murder,

it still
the same thing.

Yeah.

To prepare
for the interview,

I Googled
"Dick and torture,"

and a whole lot of
strange contraptions came up.

But these are
nothing to do with you.

No. I haven't seen that.
I'll have to do that.

I'd like to see that,
how they treated it.

Yeah, there were--
I Googled it,

and there were contraptions
with spikes and constraints.

One was a kind of rod that goes
deep inside the pubic--

No.

Were these anything
to do with you?

No, we didn't do
anything like that.

Waterboarding was
the most physical we got.

Waterboarding
is not torture.

I once waterboarded
my wife.

Mm-hmm.

She was cheating on me and
I needed to find out with who,

- so I waterboarded her.
- Uh-huh.

It turned out she was not
cheating, but now I know

- to trust her words.
- Mm-hmm.

And actually, she is a lot
more compliant ever since.

Mm-hmm.

Well, I didn't
have that problem.

I heard one time
while hunting,

there was a man
who tried to attack you,

and you had to
shoot him in the face?

No.

Well, that's a bit
of a, uh, distortion.

We were hunting, um,
quail with shotguns.

You were hunting
the Vice President Quayle?

Well, it wasn't
vice-presidential quail.

It was--
There's Vice President Quayle,

whose name
is Q-U-A-L-E,

and then there's quail,

and it is the birds
that we hunt.

And which one
were you trying to kill?

- Birds.
- Okay.

He came up on my right,
and a bird flushed.

And I turned on
the bird and fired,

and-- but it did hit him
with bird shot,

dusted him basically
with bird shot.

- You did it by mistake?
- It was a mistake.

It was an accident.

Yeah. Come on.
You are not some schmuck

who is going to
shoot a friend in the face.

What did he do?
Did he try to shtup your wife?

No, no, no.

You don't
shoot somebody accidentally.

Come on.
I know you.

I did.
In this case, I did.

Oh, okay.

It's okay if I just get
a quick Dick pic?

Do you want me
to send you the Dick pic?

- Sure.
- Okay, great.

- Yeah.
- Thank you.

Is it possible to sign
my waterboard kit?

- Sure.
- Thank you.

Find a space that...

- Well, right here...
- Yeah.

"To Erran"...

I don't know,
something funny like,

"Good watering,"
or...

Fantastic.

- There you go.
- Fantastic.

Thank you so much.

I got Netanyahu,
Ariel Sharon.

I got Demi Lovato.

- She's a brilliant singer.
- Uh-huh.

I just find her voice fantastic.

Well,
that's a first.

That's the first time
I've ever signed a water bottle

used for waterboarding,
very valuable.

Everybody knows
about the tragedy

of a child soldier in Africa,

but what we don't know
is that the real tragedy

is how underfunded
and undertrained they are.

Many are not
very effective killers at all

and are, in fact,
more child than soldier.

We want to change this

so that they can be fighting
well into puberty.

That's why we want you
to join our program

and adopt a child soldier.

You will have a chance
to support them

through their childhood

and pay for their training,
equipment, and even ammunition.

Have a look
at the great work we do.

This is T'Kembe.

Look at him two months ago--
tragic--

but take a look at him now.

Since he was adopted
by Jessica Simpson,

his life is much better.

How can you help? It's simple.

For just $18 a month,

you will get a message
from your child soldier

telling you about
their progress.

For example, "Today,
we burned down a village

and launched a grenade
at a hospital."

For just $21 a month, you can
get them a bayonet attachment

and a grenade launcher.

Without the grenade launcher,

they have to get very close
to refugee camps to throw it.

Remember, when you launch
a grenade, you launch a dream.

One look into the eyes
of a child soldier

when he gets a new launcher,

and you instantly know
it's all worthwhile.

Act now, and you'll receive
the handmade drawing

of how that child
used your gift.

Tomorrow's veterans
helping today's child soldiers

for a better tomorrow today.

Namaste.

I'm a self-hating white male,

and my name
is Nira Cain-N'Degeocello.

Two weeks after
the election was stolen

from President Hillary Clinton,
I managed to get out of bed.

I've been cycling through
our fractured nation

to try and heal the divide.

Kingman, Arizona--
once a bustling mining town

and home of civil rights
activist Timothy McVeigh,

now a depressed habitat
for voters

clearly still mourning
the tragedy

of Hillary's election loss.

What could be better
to lift their spirits

than news of an exciting
new urban development

that I decided
to tell them about

at a town-hall meeting
I called?

Who wants to see

huge economic growth here?

- Everybody.
- Right.

Who wants to see an investment

of $385 million?

Guess what?
You guys are going to get it.

I'm here to tell you
that Kingman has been chosen

as the location
of a brand-new,

state-of-the-art mosque.

- Mm.
- What?

A state-of-the-art what?

I know some of you are thinking,

"Okay, this is just
another typical mosque."

This, guys, is going to be

the world's largest mosque

outside of the Middle East.

Just the word alone
scares you.

To me, when I hear the word
"mosque," I think of terrorism.

Is-- Is there a need
for this in Kingman?

Yes, there is.

- How? Why?
- How? What?

Your town will become
a hub for tourism from--

for Muslims around the world.

Can I get a, "Whoop, whoop"?

No.

We don't want
that shit here.

If you bring in Muslims,
we might have a problem.

We probably will
have a problem.

We'll all be moving
out of this state.

Okay. Let's...

Before we make up our minds,

let's take a closer look...
We've made up our minds.

- ...at this wonderful mosque.
- We've made up our minds.

The Imam Zayed Wahabi Mosque
of Kingman.

Oh, my God.

You guys will have the choice
between two different designs.

This is the first design.
This is design one.

And this is design two.

What the hell
are you asking?

So who here supports design one?

Nobody!

Okay, so you're all
for design two?

- Neither!
- We said no!

We don't want
either one!

Okay, so let me ask you, sir.

You don't like
this construction.

Tell me about your dream mosque.

There is no dream mosque!

- We don't want a mosque!
- We don't want a mosque!

A mosque
is for Muslims.

Mosque-- As soon as you said
"mosque," you ruined it.

Where is the money
coming from?

It's not going to be
paid for by you.

It's primarily going to be paid
for by the Saudi government...

Of course.

...the Clinton Foundation...

That's a big fucking mistake
right there.

You should have never
brought that up.

She's a piece of work.

Around here, that's even
worse than the mosque.

Okay, listen.
Can everybody be calm?

Can everybody be calm?
This is not a big deal.

- This is just a building.
- It's a huge deal!

- It's a building.
- It's not a building.

It's a fucking
terrorist mosque!

What? Okay.
Let me a-address terrorism.

Rest assured,
I share your concerns,

and we will do everything we can

to protect
these Muslims from it.

The mosque will have
fortified walls,

and there will be barricades
to keep the--

Yeah, yeah, to keep the Muslims
safe inside.

Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.

Why would we want them
safe inside

when we don't even
want them in our town, period?

Well, i-it would be to protect
the worshippers

from any, uh, violent racists.

It's-- It's not us
that's causing the violence.

It's them.

Oh, no, no, no.
Did you--

I-- I didn't imply
anybody here is racist.

- Of course not.
- I am.

I'm racist toward Muslims.

Let me continue, and then I--

That would probably
look good in a fire.

Well, it would be
made out of stone,

so it won't be able to burn.

So that's one of
the anti-terrorist measures.

I really believe
by the end of this presentation,

you guys are going to be
completely convinced.

- You're wrong.
- I doubt it.

Let me show you
how your town would change.

- Unh-uh.
- Oh, hell no.

You're fucking
kidding me, right?

You change the name
on that,

and I guarantee you're gonna
have a fight on your hands.

There ain't a goddamn thing
about that we like.

Can we hear from some of
the Muslims in this room?

How do you feel about it, sir?

- Are you a Muslim?
- No.

- There's no Muslims here.
- There is no Muslims here.

Oh, there are no Muslims
here at all?

This town is lucky
to have black people in it.

Yeah, of course you're lucky
to have black people.

They add a lot to the society.

Thank you, sir.

Finally,
somebody who appreciates...

- No, no, no.
- ...multiculturalism.

You're totally missing--
You totally missed--

- Sir, you are completely right.
- No, no.

The benefit of having
African-Americans...

No.
You're not hearing me out.

- ...means a more diverse...
- You're not hearing him.

Thank you, sir.
Don't be ashamed.

He's saying there's
black people in Kingman

that aren't welcome
there either,

but we tolerate them.

Okay.

One thing I do in Bend, Oregon,
is, sometimes,

when there there is
an atmosphere of tension,

which there is here, I use music
to alleviate the tension.

There is a wonderful song
that I use that relaxes people,

and it's from the Xhosa Tribe
in South Africa.

It goes like this.

I'm not into that.
I gotta go.

There ain't nothing calming
about that at all.

I listened enough to that

when I worked at Texaco with--
and I don't...

Pardon me, where--
where are you going?

You are triggered,
and you are feeling some anger.

You're pulling
the trigger harder now.

We don't want
to hear that shit.

You really think
this is calming us?

This will calm
if you close your eyes.

It's not calming us!
It's pissing us off!

Close your eyes.

I understand exactly why
there was told no weapons here.

- Yes!
- Why is that, sir?

Because you come down here
and open your mouth

and say this kind of shit
in front of us, Arizonites,

somebody is
going to get hurt.

Well, I'm going to
write that down.

All you damn sand niggers
over in the Middle East,

we are tired of you
coming to America,

and we are tired of you
trying to threaten us.

We will cut off your dick.

You understand?

We will take your dick, and we
will shove it in your mouth,

pull it off,
and put it in your mouth.

How are you going to rape
children and women

without a dick?

I'm Jason Spencer.

I'm an elected official
in the state of Georgia.

I'm a State Representative
and member

of the Georgia General Assembly.