All language subtitles for The.Goldbergs.S06E03.WEBRip.x264-ION10.

ADULT ADAM: Back in the '80s,

a crazy new fad
known as karaoke
swept the nation.

My sister Erica was about
to discover its wonders.

Geoff, stop rearranging
my nail polish.

But you're gonna
love my new system.Forget that.

They just opened
a karaoke place in Jenkintown.

Kara
Oke.

It's the ancient Japanese art
of singing other people's
pop songs.

Well, what if you don't
know the words?You don't have to.

They give them to you
on a video monitor

over vaguely scenic images
of Asian models
frolicking in the ocean.

But what if you can't sing
and have crippling
stage fright?

Well, that doesn't apply
to me, therefore it's a dumb
question, so let's go.

Well, you said nothing
to make me feel better,

but I sense your enthusiasm,
so let's do this.

♪ Baa-baa bamba

♪ Baa-baa bamba

♪ Baa-baa bamba

Nope, can't do it.
♪ La, la bamba

♪ Baa-baa-ba la bamba ♪

ADULT ADAM:
Maybe she loved karaoke
a little too much.

Hey, guys. I'm glad
you're having fun,

but there's
a bachelorette party
over there

that is hoping to get
a chance to sing.

Wait, do you work here?
Work and own.

Name's Gary.
Wait. You're
the Gary Oke?

No, actually,
it's Gary Globberman.

Well, it's so awesome
to be singing onstage,

and all I got to do is figure
out a way to get paid for it.

Well, actually, I am looking
to hire a few people.

Wait, you'll pay me
to sing here onstage

until I get discovered
by the A&R scouts

who will give me
a record deal
and then I'll go solo

and leave my less-talented
band mates in the dust?

This is all happening so fast!
You're gonna be so famous!

Sure. But let's
talk turkey, Gar.

So, how soon do I start
my journey to super

Love your big dreams.

Feel free to park them
in your locker

before you start your shift
as a waitress or a hostess.

Wait, I get a locker?
Yes!

And everyone who works here
gets a chance to get onstage
and hone their craft.

That's awesome.

Or should I say...

♪ That's awesome ♪

Wait, I'm not ready to share
you with the world.

Oh, God, I'm getting
woozy again.

Oh.

Is he okay?

Guess who got a job.

Oh. We're hugging
just like that?

You don't even want
to know what it is?

You said all I need
to know... Job.

I'm working at Gary-Oke's.

It's a karaoke bar
where people sing...I don't care.

Oh, do I hear hugging?

Erica got a job.

Ooh, where?
Teriyaki's.

Gary-Oke's.

Yeah. It's one of those places
where they chop up shrimp
and throw it,

but it doesn't matter
'cause you're gonna be
making money. Hoo-hoo!

It's just a karaoke place
where people sing.
It's no big deal.

Oh, it's the biggest deal.

And you know Mama Bear's
gonna be right there

in the front row
cheering you on.

Or you stay as far away
as possible.

Or we get onstage together
and sing a Streisand duet
guaranteed to wow the crowd.

Or you stay home with
your lame mom music,

and I go onstage solo and sing
an actual crowd-pleaser

like Jessie's Girl.
Or...

♪ You know I wish that
I hugged Bevy's girl

♪ Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah

How do you know that song?

♪ Where can I find
a schmoopie like that?

♪ Na, na, na, na
You know I...Give it to me.

Okay.
Give me the carrot.
Give it to me.

I'm gonna...
Honey, let go of the car...

No. Honey,
I need that for soup.

♪ I'm twisted up inside

♪ But nonetheless
I feel the need to say

♪ I don't know the future

♪ But the past keeps getting
clearer every day ♪

ADULT ADAM:
It was October 10th,
1980-something,

the day Pops
was about to learn

about the raddest movie
of my generation.

What you watching, kiddos?

This is Rad,

the story of an awesome
BMX biker named Cru Jones

who enters
a corrupt promoter's

nationally televised
cash-prize race.

This movie has it all.
Rad BMX bikers
on rad BMX bikes

doing
rad BMX biking.

It's why they called it Rad.
They literally had no choice.

Wow!
That's fantastic.

I need a copy
of this right away.

I'm on it.
Go, kiddo.

Okay, he ran off 'cause
I acted insanely excited.

We got to talk.
If you're here to tell us
we're impulsive idiots

and too young to get married
on a mere whim,
then take a number.

No. In honor of
your engagement,

I'm giving you
a nice little nest egg.

Your grandfather
is giving us
actual money?

Boom!
We're rich.

Is this money from
the olden times,

'cause I have no idea
what I'm looking at.

That's a savings bond.

And with interest, one day,
it'll be worth 2,000 big ones.

What if our interest
is in getting money right now
at this moment?

You can't. Right now,
it's only worth 500 bucks.

Boom!
We're rich.

No!
This is your future here.

Be responsible.
He's right, Bar.

This is our chance to
prove to everyone

we're not immature,
impulsive idiots.

Yeah.
We'll use it wisely.

Boom! I'll take
this rad BMX bike

from the movie Rad,
please.

ADULT ADAM: While my brother
was wasting his nest egg,

my sister was trying
to hatch a career.

God!

Just capturing my schmoopie's
first day on the job.

Wait.
What are you wearing?

What do you me...
Oh, this?

Oh, it's just an old sweater
I had laying around.
I bought it at the store.

I didn't stay up
all night making it.

Stop doing what
you're doing.

You are not to show up
at my work

and embarrass me
with your mommish lame-osity
like you always do.

Okay, name one time
I've ever embarrassed you.

Um...

♪♪

I said one.

But, okay, I get it.
I'll stay away.

Promise?
Like, for real promise?

Booper,
you've made it very clear

what a big opportunity
this is.

I promise.

Hey, hey.
Damn it, Frentas.

I told you to hide under
the station wagon.

It's filthy.
There's a can.

Wait, you wanted to bring
your lame

Okay, fine.
We were just gonna pop in
and sing a few dozen songs.

No big whoop.

Mom, this dynamic
where you always
barge in my life

and embarrass the crap
out of me has to stop.

I'm an adult now, and it's
time you treat me like one.

You're right.

As hard
as it is to imagine,

you're not
my little squish anymore,

I need to start respecting
your boundaries.

You don't do that for us,
Beverly.

Shut your
mouth hole, Ginzy.

We've moved
beyond mother and daughter
and are now gal pals.

That's not a thing,

but it sounds like
you may actually be on board.

I really am, gal pal.

Okay, stop saying "gal pal,"
but whatever.

As long as you stay away.

Yay! Gal pals!

Okay, that's too tight.

♪ Jessie's girl

♪ I want
I want Jessie's girl ♪

Ohh! Thank you.
Thank you so much.

Uh, fun side note...

I actually have a friend
named Jessie,

and I do indeed
dangerously pine
for his girlfriend.

She will be mine one day.

One day,
she will be mine...Okay. Okay. Okay, okay.

Alarming stuff.
Thank you.

Uh, that was last call, folks.
Thank you for coming out.

Wait, you're saying
the night's actually over?

Yeah, we take our cue
from Applebee's,
and they close at 1:00.

No... I... I mean,
my mom didn't show up,

not even in a mustache
and a vest

disguising herself
as a busboy.

Wait. What?
It's a whole thing.

The point is,
she didn't show up
with all of her friends.

She listened to me
and stayed away.

Kind of hoping
that my employees

might actually encourage
people to come.

Uh, trust me,
my mom is not people.

Okay, we need to put butts
in these seats.

Even if the butts
are in ill

Okay, I'll tell you what.
For every customer
you bring in,

you get to sing
an extra song, okay?

I get it, Gar.
You want mom butts,

you will have them as far
as the eye can see.

I noticed you're
still chatting.

Maybe I can do an encore?

No.
Got you.

ADULT ADAM:
As Erica's new job
had already hit a low,

Barry was riding high.

Rad!
Barry, please tell me

you didn't just buy
an expensive Rad Mongoose bike
with our nest egg.

Actually,
it was very expensive.

We agreed to be smart
with our finances.

See, this is why no one
really thinks we can do this.

But we can.
Now that I'm rad,

I'll be generating
crazy income

by dominating
Helltrack BMX races

just like
in the movie Rad.

Oh, my God,
how can you be so selfish?

What was that?
I farted into the couch.

Dude,
you got a keytar?

Everyone's right.

We really are just impulsive,
immature idiots.

Don't say that.
We can fix this.

I guess we could return
our stuff and get our
nest egg back.

Unless...
Unless what?
Let's do that.

Agreed.

Pops, my old friend.

We'd like one additional
nest egg, please.

What? The nest egg
is gone already?
It's been four hours.

It's kind of a funny story,
really.

It's hard not to buy stuff
when you really want
to buy stuff.

That's not funny
or a story.

So that's a yes on giving us
a second, bigger nest egg?

That's a no!

Stop bilking
the generous old man.

Why can't everyone just throw
money at our problems?

Yeah, he's right.
Do that.

No, if you two want
to be adults,

you're gonna have to learn
how not to spend.

Look at me. I haven't spent
in the past 20 years.

Those are the only pants
I've ever seen you wear.

Just got the one.
Don't even fit right.

So you saved money
on pants.

Your wife is a shopaholic.

All Mom ever does
is spend money on hair spray
and bags of shredded cheese.

Exactly.

In every marriage, you've
got a spender and a saver.

That way,
it all evens out.

Well, I love Lainey
more than anything,

so I'll take the bullet.

Baby, I'm gonna be
the penny-pinching cheapskate

just like my garbage bag
of a father.

No. Barry,
he's the worst.

He truly is,
and I will lower myself

to his hideous, carbuncled
depths for our love.

It just fills my heart
that you'd sink
so unbelievably low for me.

It's literally impossible
to sink any lower.

I love you.

I am super angry,

but, also,
I've never been more proud.

ADULT ADAM: As Barry
was making our dad's
dreams come true,

Erica was ready
to give our mom
her greatest fantasy.

Hey, look who it is,
my favorite gal pal.

You just said it.
Say it again.
Say "gal pal."

No, but I did want
to thank you

for actually
showing me respect

and giving me
the space I needed.

Well, who knew
treating you like an adult
would feel so good?

Mark my words,
I will never butt into
your life ever again.

Wow, those truly are words
I've always dreamt of hearing,

which makes this next part
especially hard to say,

but I need you to
come to karaoke
and bring all your friends.

Wha
I know it's really
confusing,

but I want you
to come to karaoke,

and you can stay
as long as you want.

Daughter want time?
Me

Okay, I'm gonna need you
to reboot your brain,

because there will be a few
ground rules here, understood?

Ah, come on, man.
Whatta what?

The general idea is you don't
embarrass me by being you.

Huh Huh?
So that means no
haranguing my boss

or complaining
about the service

or sending back food
or using expired coupons,

and for God's sake,
no mom dancing.

What's mom dancing?

Go on. Bust a move.

Yeah, that. None of that.

Also, there will be no
mother/daughter duets ever.

Oh, well, tell that to
the Judds, but fine.

To clarify, there's
no singing at all,

because you'll just
destroy the vibe with
your lame mom songs.

And what are mom songs?

Anything
by Bette, Babs,

The Beach Boys,
or Barry Manilow.

No doo-wop, no bebop,
no power-pop,

and, you know what,
just no songs at all.

No singing. Got it.

All that matters here
is I agreed to stay out
of your life,

but the truth is
you want me in it.

I already recognize that
this is a huge mistake.

♪♪

ADULT ADAM:
After stupidly spending
their nest egg,

Barry enrolled in
the School of the Thrifty
with Professor Dad.

Okay. Here's a list
of everything you need
to know to save a buck.

And, as an extra incentive,
for every dollar you save
in this house,

I put it
right in your nest egg.

Yes! I'm gonna be
a savings tycoon.Okay.

Well, number-one drain on your
wallet, air conditioning.

Really
Oh, my God!

That's why
I'm always screaming
about the thermostat.

You do?
That's all I do!

I've honestly never
heard you say anything
about the thermostat, ever.

You know no one touches
that thermostat.

Don't touch
the damn thermostat.

Thermostat.
Thermostat.

Thermostat.
Thermostat!

You people
really don't listen.

But I'm almost
listening now.Good.

Because this next one's
a biggie, electricity.

No more highfalutin
microwave.

But heating up a pizza
in the oven takes six more
agonizing minutes.

Would you rather
have a slow pizza

or money for more pizza?
Hold on.

Are you saying
if I save money,
I'll have more of it?

It seems obvious,
but, yes.

Okay, next,
always save water.

Wait, isn't water free
'cause God makes it?

No, dumb-dumb.

A water bill
can cost a fortune.

So get used to cold showers,

dry-brushing your teeth,

and only flushing
in emergencies.

How do you know
if it's an emergency?

Oh, you'll know.

ADULT ADAM:
So, just like that,

Barry took to being
a frugal Murray.

And he was not kidding around.

Hey, I was playing a game!

Read a book.

No one was spared.

Hi-yah! No sinks.

Water costs money.

But I'm gotta
take a pill.

Choke it down dry,
old man.

We're all about savings
in this house.

Hey! No one touch
the thermostat!

It's fall, which means
it's basically summer.

Finally, I know
what it's like
to be a father.

ADULT ADAM: While Barry
was becoming my dad,

my mom was trying to
be a good gal pal.

♪ La, la, la, la,
la bamba

♪ Ba, la, la, la, la,
la bamba

Hi, strange newcomers.

I'm Erica, your waitress.

So nice to meet you,
Stranger Erica.

Here's an order of wings
to keep you busy

and a list of songs that
you won't be performing.

By chance,

would you reconsider
your poopy-pants stance
on mother/daughter duets?

Odd question
from someone I just met,
but not a chance in hell.

What about the rest of us?

Yeah, that's a polite pass,
Stranger's friend.

Um, because if you sing,
then my mom will sing.

So true.
100%.

But you are free to
look at the people

who are singing
and wish it was you.
Enjoy.

Well, this sucks.
No, it's fun.

We're all just here being
gal pals, including Erica.

Now, let's just enjoy
our chicken wings.

Ooh, which are ice cold
and need to be sent back.

No, no, no.

Must resist being
embarrassing.

Hello, ladies.

I see
you haven't signed up.

Want to make sure
we pick a fun one.

Well, we'd love to,
but we can't.

Oh, come on.
No judgment here.

Let me put you down
for a song.

No, you don't understand.
When we can't sing,
we mean we're not allowed.

Shh!

No one.
It wasn't our waitress.

It was your waitress?
No, it's fine.

We'll just sit and eat
our cold, poorly sauced wings.

I could take those back.
Bevy, stop him.
We're not allowed.

Hey, Erica.

Seems to be a little
misunderstanding here.

With who

I've never even met
this blond-haired mom-woman
and her mom-looking friends.

Hi, I'm Erica.

Okay, why don't you get them
some fresh wings

and sign them up
for a song, okay?

Sounds great, Gar.
I can take it from here.

Good.

Oh, my God.

You complained about me
to my boss?

No, schmoopie, I swear,
I did not mean to do it.Save it.

Honestly,
in your long history
of mortifying me,

this leaps to the top
of the charts.

My God. I just
can't win with you.

I've been a great
gal pal all night,
and it still isn't enough.

You want to be
a real gal pal?

Go home.

Freeze, Frentas!
We're not going anywhere.

It's time to karaoke.

But Stranger Erica
told us not to.

She thinks I embarrass her
on purpose?

She ain't
seen nothin' yet.

Ooh.

Is it here?

Please tell me
the electricity bill is here
and I'm stinking rich.

Oh, it's here,
and you saved like a pro.

How much did
I make for my nest eggs?
$2,000

You saved six bucks.
What?

I've been up
everyone's ass for days.

I damaged every relationship
I had to save money.I know!

Damaging relationships
is just the bonus.

You've got
a real problem, man.

Hello.

Guess who just upgraded
to a funky-ass new CASIO
keytar with built-in MIDI box.

I don't know what that is,
but by chance,
was it free or very cheap?

No. It was a completely
reckless purchase.

Being the spender in
the relationship is super fun.

And being the saver's
even better.

So, give it to me.
How much
we put away this week?

Well, it's a number between
seven and a million dollars.

Is it seven?
It's six.

That's one worse
than seven,

and you didn't even
give it as an option!

I know! Living within
our means sucks.

Totally.
But isn't there another way?

Of course there is.
We keep
living extravagantly,

and when we do need money,
we quickly earn a ton of it.

Aww, Bar. You've never
made more sense.

He's making no sense.

ADULT ADAM: But to them,
it made perfect sense.

With Lainey's new keytar and Barry's rad biking skills,

they'd be rich in no time.

Rad!

I'm okay!

Don't stop rolling,
Ad Rock!

This video's gonna get me on
the national Rad circuit!

You got it, pal.
That's for sure a real thing.

And so, Barry decided to double down on his BMX dreams.

Meanwhile,
my mom and the Frentas

were living out
their karaoke fantasies,

but to Erica,
it was a nightmare.

It was an embarrassing medley of mom singing and dancing.

They did the Thriller,

the Safety Dance,

and whatever this was.

They even took stage time away from the regulars.

But then she brought
the regulars up.

And the ultimate embarrassing mom move...

Pulling Erica's boss onstage.
Come on, Gary.

Oh, no, no!

♪ Holding her in his arms

♪ Late, late at night

♪ You know I wish that
I had Jessie's girl

♪ Wish that
I had Jessie's girl ♪

Well, you single-handedly
ruined karaoke for me

and greater suburban
Philadelphia.

That's all I ever do,
ruin everything.

You promised to behave and not
act anything like you,

and I was stupid enough
to believe it.

You know,
no matter how hard I try,

you will always see
the worst in me.

How can I treat you
with respect

when you don't even
have a shred for me?

♪♪

What the hell just happened
to our best customers?

They're not customers.

They're a bunch of yentas
led by my mortifying mom,
and I mean mortifying.

Although you find
your mom embarrassing,
you know who doesn't?

Everybody else.

The good news is, everything
changes when you grow up.

Guess you're not there yet.

♪♪

ADULT ADAM:
Desperate to earn back
his nest egg with Lainey,

Barry bet on BMX
with some cool tricks.

Only problem,
he sucked a lot.

Pop-a-wheelie!

Foot jam to fakie!

Ninja drop!

Regular bicycling.

Backflip off the bench!

That one was actually
not good.

All right, stop.

Just stop.

Look, everyone else is trying
to spare your feelings,

but let me be
the one who says it.

You two are not ready
for marriage.

But we're madly in love.

Love? What does love
have to do with marriage?

Everything?

Marriage is about money
and responsibility,

and you two don't
have a shred of it.

This is why no one
believes in you two.

You know, it doesn't matter
that no one believed in us,

'cause we believed
in ourselves.

But thanks for
taking that away.

I... I think I should
stop recording.
It stopped being funny.

BARRY: Thanks
for nothing, Dad.

Mur, need I remind you,

people had concerns when you
and Bevy first got together,

mainly me.

Only difference is,
I wasn't a total moron.

You had no ambition.
I had to give you a job
in my store, remember?

Face it. You were
just as young and dumb,

but I didn't care,
'cause you loved my daughter,

and that's all
that matters.

♪ Jessie is a friend, yeah

♪ I know he's been
a good friend of mine

♪ But lately
something's changed

Hey, can we talk?

I'm done talking and hoping
and trying to make things
better between us.

I'm just done.

You're mad. I get it.

All I do is complain
about how lame you are

when, really,
I'm the lame one.

Please. You don't
really believe that.

No, I really do.

You were able to look at me
as something other than
your little girl,

but I couldn't see you
as anything but my mom.

You know, I'm proud
to be your mom.

So if this is the way it has
to be, I can live with it.

Well, I can't.

Truth is,
you have way more to offer
than I give you credit for.

That is the nicest thing
you've ever said to me.

What are gal pals for?

I love you so, so much,
my sweet little gal pal.

ADULT ADAM:
That day, my mom finally
got the duet she wanted.

♪ You know I wish that
I had Jessie's girl

♪ I wish that I had
Jessie's girl

♪ Where can I find
a woman like that? ♪

ADULT ADAM: As for Barry,
he finally realized

my dad was just looking out
for him and Lainey.

What you doing?

Typing a "for sale" ad
for a rad bike and keytar.

We're selling them as a set,
'cause it just makes sense.

No.

Don't sell the stupid bike
and weird chest piano.

We can't keep 'em.
You said love
isn't enough.

I guess I forgot,

in the beginning,
love is all that matters.

Here.

What is this?

I opened up
a savings account for you.

I already put in
the six bucks that you earned,
and I doubled it.

Twelve bucks is hardly
a nest egg.

You got plenty of time
to be a saver like me.

What's important now
is to build a life
with the girl you love.

♪♪

ADULT ADAM:
As much as my dad
loved saving money,

he realized you can't
put a price on love.

Truth is, the best thing
to invest in
are the people by your side,

'cause in the end, they're
the people who back you up

and make sure that you never
have to go solo.

♪♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la bamba

♪ La, la, la, la, la bamba

♪♪

♪ And she's lovin' him with that body, I just know it

♪ And he's holding her
in his arms
Late, late at night

♪ You know I wish
that I had

♪ Jessie's girl
♪ Bevy's girl

♪ I wish that I had

♪ Jessie's girl
♪ Bevy's girl

Mom.
I baked her
in my belly.

BOTH:
♪ Where can I find
a woman like that? ♪

It really is a great song.

Yeah, it really is.