All language subtitles for S02E15

Get over yourself.

Stop talking to me!

[Jenni]
The flirting between Vinny
and Angelina is over,

and [bleep]'s getting real.

[bleep] you, Vinny.You're still talking about me.

The baby's fine
but, you know, I just--

I just think it might be better
for me not to live in the house.

[Nicole]
I totally get it because
I was pregnant once.

But, like, selfish me
is like, come on, girl.

[Vinny]
He hopped in the cab.

[Pauly]
Oh, my God.

She's taking off the shawl.
She's in the bikini.

Oh, my God!
She's getting in.

The same thing as Miami
all over again.

Yeah.

Ronnie's Tours is back
in business.

Oh, man.
And there goes my life.

♪ Here I come ♪

Yeah, buddy.

Party's here.

The Situation
is under construction.

This might not
have been the best idea.

We're so classy now.

On the seventh day,
it'll be lit.

Get the frig out of here,
you crazy.

♪ Here I come ♪♪

♪♪

Like, dude, what are you--
This is the second time.

He did the exact same thing
and he got ran over for it.

He got ran over a couple
of months ago for this.

Ronnie is definitely digging
his own grave right now

with Jewish Barbie.

And I feel like it's almost
French Fry all over again.

Yeah, let's go back inside.He's totally
gonna [bleep] her.

But I'm going to sleep
and I'm just gonna find out

what happens tomorrow.

All right, good night.

[sighs]

Time for bed.

How could he want to do this?

[Mike]
Yo, like, it's happening.

Looks like Ronnie is playing
with fire right now.

[shower running]

[Ronnie sighs]

[belches]

[Ronnie]
I've got Lindsay in bed with me
and I'm just like,

It doesn't look good right now.

♪♪

I'm, you know, not gonna go
down that road again.

♪ Everybody always talkin' ♪

♪ Talkin' 'bout how
I'm livin' ♪

♪ I'ma make my decisions ♪

♪ On my own ♪

♪ When you on the ground
and kickin'... ♪♪

I just need a little space
right now

to figure out how I feel.

[cell phone dinging]

♪ Heck yeah, in time
it'll all be clear ♪

♪ We can all let go of fear ♪[cell phone dings]

♪ Let the anger disappear... ♪

♪ Tonight... ♪

Was he trying
to hook up with you?No.

He's not gonna try
to hook up with me.

He has, like, a girlfriend.

♪♪

♪ Tonight... ♪

He ain't gonna be in
a relationship after this,
that's for sure.

♪ Beep, beep ♪

♪ Bop, bop ♪♪

♪♪

So you had fun though?

[Jenni]
He tried?

He said blatantly
that he wanted her

to sleep in his bed.

Did he try to insinuate,
or, like...?

Not at all.
He was so sweet.

[Jenni]
Not at all?

No.
That's nice.

Hearing what happened
last night,

I'm actually shocked.

'Cause I thought it was
gonna be so much worse.

And I'm like, oh, wow,
Ron is growing up.

Oh, oh, she was
just talking about

how respectful and nice
you are.

Who me?Yeah.

Thank you.

How many hours
of sleep did you get?

[Ronnie]
Uhhh, none.

What?

You didn't sleep?
Nuh-uh.

Wow.

Apparently, I'm single.Huh?

Apparently, I'm single.

How? Why?

'Cause she's crazy.

Oh, no.

[Ronnie]
She's just very disrespectful.

Telling me,
"I can't wait
to find a guy

to raise your child
the way you can't."

Sending me screenshots

of [bleep] Sam
and her new boyfriend.

And, like, "That's how happy
I'm going to be next year

when I find somebody."

Like, super
disrespectful, yeah.

[Jenni]
This [bleep] is insane.

Ron's relationship with Jen

is way worse than
I ever pictured it.

It's unhealthy.

You need to just be single.

Yeah, I think so.

[Angelina]
Jen sending Ron
those text messages

is probably the worst thing
I've ever heard.

It's toxic. It's terrible.
Screw that bitch.

Do you wanna
walk her out with me?Sure, why not?

I feel like Single Ronnie,
but not Single Ronnie

where I wanna bang chicks
and be like Pauly and Vinny,

but Single Ronnie
as to a point where

I need to have some kind
of self-respect for myself.

Bye.It was very nice
hanging out.

I'll talk to you soon.Okay, sounds good.

So, Single Ronnie means that
I'm trying to just do what--

I gotta do what's best for me.

And right now,
that's taking a step back

and reevaluating all the [bleep]
that's happened to me

and the [bleep] that's gonna
happen to me in the future.

I don't know how the hell
I'm up right now.

How are you up?

Oh, from all that drama?Yeah.

She was saying
[bleep] up [bleep].

I was like, yeah...

She just starts
to say anything

that she knows
is gonna hurt me.

Yeah, that's gonna
really hurt you.

And she knows how
I feel about the baby,

so she knows the second she
says something like that,

I get like...

Why would she send you
pictures of, like,

Sam with, like,
her boyfriend?

That's hitting, like, low.
Like, real low.

Yeah. That's like me saying,
"Oh, yeah, well, I was...

"Okay, well, yeah? Well,
I was with Angelina's friend

last night and I coulda
[bleep] her and I didn't."

Like, I would never say that.
You know what I mean?

It's just [bleep]
super disrespectful.

You know?
It's like...
Yeah.

I feel bad for Ronnie,
because I do feel like

anybody that says such
a mean, hurtful thing,

like, I could never be in
a relationship with that person.

Look, I don't like being
single either, you know?

I'm not gonna stay
with someone that says,

"I'm gonna find the guy
that's gonna raise

your daughter better
than you," you know?

Yeah.

No. I think I'm gonna get
a place in Cali again.

Are you?
Yeah.

Why Cali?It's closer to Vegas.

See the baby,
and stuff.
Oh.

I don't want to stay there.

I've decided that I'm finally
gonna take a step back from Jen.

And I think that it's best that
if I'm just by myself,

you know, and worrying
about my daughter.

It's been [bleep]
a rough year.

And I think I'm getting
to a point where I have

to remove myself from
a toxic situation itself,

and just try to get my life
back on track.

Think it's better off we don't
communicate for a while.

You know?
Oh, my God.

♪ We've been driftin' ♪

♪ We've been driftin'
a long time ♪

♪ Fear I only find you ♪

♪ When there's nothing
to lose ♪

♪♪

♪ Skies are clear... ♪

♪ Probably better off alone ♪

♪♪

♪♪

Anyone talk to Deena?

What do we gotta do
to get her here?

I think we should kidnap her.

[Jenni screaming][Nicole gasping]

Merp. Merp.[yelping]

I finally gave him the sex.
I was sore for like a week.

She just wants to be
pounded out.

[Pauly]
Vinny's right here.

Vinny's face is priceless.

♪♪

Wanna go out here?Yeah.

So, what happened?

So this morning he tells me
that he's single.

The reason why him and Jen
are done is because

she's disrespectful to him
because she's started

sending him pictures of Sammi
and her new man, saying,

"Oh, well, this
is how I'm gonna be.

I'm gonna be happy.
You're a piece of [bleep]."

Blah, blah, blah,
whatever he was saying.

Oh, that's what that was.Oh, [bleep].

Okay, you just
cleared that up.

[Pauly]
Jen sending him those
screenshots, holy [bleep].

That's not right.
You can't do that.

He explained to me
that he is single.

And he's gonna stay single.
And he, um...

All right, then what he did,
was nothing wrong with it.

Yo, their relationship changes
as fast as the weather.

I definitely feel bad
for Ronnie,

but he needs to get
his house in order.

'Cause one minute he's single
and the next minute he's taken.

The next minute he's IFF,
I'm [bleep] Foundation.

And the next minute,
Ronnie's on a Ronpage.

I'm going to come back to you
on this balcony tomorrow,

and he's gonna be like,
"I love her...""I love her..."

..."and I still love Sammi.""That's my girl.

That's my baby mom."[laughing]

Yeah, I mean, like, this is
one event after another,

like serious events.

I'm thinking that Jen
is the black cloud

Ronnie needs to get out
of his life.

Weather in Manalapan today
is cloudy

with 100% chance
of Ronnie's tears.

My boy's gonna cry today.

[laughing]
Yo, you cold
as [bleep], son.

♪♪

[Mike]
Yeah, I think it's time
for breakfasts.

Ooh, I got some
breakfast sausages right here.

We got eggs too,
we'll be straight.

Oh, my God,
I don't feel good.

[huffs]

That sausage is cooking
beautifully right now.

We don't have Taylor Ham?

[Mike]
What do you call it?

Taylor Ham.
It's the best.

Oh, my God.
You mean Pork Roll?

Oh, God.
[Pauly]
Ooh-hoo-hoo!

[laughing]You mean Pork Roll.

Let the debate start.

Taylor Ham.
[Pauly]
Oh!

It's Pork Roll.Oh!

Calm down.
[Pauly]
Ay, ay...

It's Taylor Ham.

[Mike]
There is no such thing.

So there's a very, very,
very important question

when it comes to Jersey Shore:

Is it Taylor Ham
or Pork Roll?

And I'm not taking a side.
I will not do it,

because these people take
this [bleep] serious.

When I go to the store, I say
"Pork Roll, egg, and cheese."

I don't say "Taylor Ham,
egg, and cheese."

Never heard that.

Taylor Ham, egg,
and cheese, yeah.

You really go
to the store and say

"I want a Taylor Ham,
egg, and cheese?"

Yes. Do you want me
to call Jionni?

I've never--
Taylor Ham.

Pork Roll, egg, and cheese.

It sounds-- It just comes off
the tongue really nice.

[Mike]
I don't know what
the [bleep] Taylor Ham is.

When it comes to right
and wrong,

it's definitely not
Taylor Ham.

It's over for you.
Pork Roll.

North Jersey,
they say Taylor Ham.

Ooh...[Mike]
Okay, all right.

It's probably
a North Jersey thing.

The people from Jersey
are divided, okay,

from North Jersey
to South Jersey.

And people from North Jersey
say "Taylor Ham."

And people from
South Jersey say "Pork Roll."

And I say Pork Roll.

Yes--
It says Taylor Ham
on the package.

It doesn't say Pork Roll.

It says Pork Roll
in my areas.

Ew.

Where are you from?
Utah?

I live in Central, okay?

And out here
in these streets...So annoying.

...we say Pork Roll,
egg, and cheese.

It says Taylor Ham
on the package.

No, no, it is Pork Roll.I have to go on the Internet.

I never seen people
so passionate about ham.

It's just ham.

It says Taylor Pork Roll.

You see, there is
no Taylor Ham in here.

It says--
it says Pork Roll.Taylor!

Taylor Pork Roll.Yes.

It's a remix.
We both win.

[Nicole]
Taylor Ham, Pork Roll,
it's the same [bleep] thing.

I mean, I don't give a [bleep]
as long as it's good

and it's in my belly,
that's all I care about.

All right, so we still
didn't solve the debate.

This is like an ongoing thing
that'll never be solved.

Like an unsolved mystery.

It's like the status
of Ronnie's relationship.

Unsolved.[all laughing]

Operation: Kidnap Deener.

It's going down.
Charlie is everywhere.

I am currently hiding
on a slide.

I have swamp ass, copy.

I'm on the wrong channel.

[all]
We're coming for you.

[evil laughing]

[laughter intensifies]

♪♪

That's so cool.

[Nicole]
Thanks for cooking, guys.

[Mike] Of course.[Angelina] Thank you.

Well, I had such a fun night
with you guys last night.

That was fun.

Single Ronnie.

I guarantee that they'll be
back together today.

[Vinny]
He just has two modes,

and it's just single or taken.

Well, each has
one common goal:
bad decisions.

[laughter]

Ronnie's a rollercoaster.

His relationships
are a rollercoaster.

Single. I'm not single.
I'm single. I'm not single.

I'm single. I'm not single.
I can't keep up.

It's like the weather
in New England,
it changes.

Has anyone talked to Deena?

No? She should be here.

Like, we're not in,
like, Vegas,

we're not at a hotel,

we're in a nice,
warm home.

[Vinny]
I do miss Deena.
I mean,

she's a meatball,
you know what I mean?

She raises the spirits,
and especially

having Angelina here with us,
like, I feel the void even more.

What do we gotta do
to get her here?

I think we should kidnap her.

[Vinny]
Really?
Yeah.

If we all show up,
she's not gonna say no.

We need, like, codenames.
To write Chris a ransom note.

Get like a van

and a sheet
to throw over her head.

Throw her in the van.

I feel like we should
knock on the door.

With doughnuts.

Taser guns.

Like, a bouquet
of flowers.

I'll just [bleep] tackle her
and put her in the van.

Yeah, [bleep],
with a sheet.

[Jenni]
The boys are being
a little extreme

when it comes
to kidnapping Deena.

We need, like, rope.

We need, like,
[bleep] zip ties.

The meatball
is having a meatball.

We don't want her
to have it too early

by scaring the poop
out of her.

Oh, these are the best bags
right here.

Oh, [bleep].We can throw these
right over her head.

I'm assuming that these
belong to Angelina.

'Cause obviously,
Angelina just has, like,

an unlimited stock
of trash bags.

We're going to go
into the house, right...

I'll be Deena like, "Mmm,
merp, mep. Mmm, merp, mep...

Merp, merp. Merp, merp.Merp, merp, merp, merp.

[high-pitched]
Ah!

She's pregnant.

[high-pitched]
Ahh!

So many levels of wrong.
So many le--

Everything you don't do
to a pregnant person.

We'll definitely
bring these.

Oh, yeah.[Nicole]
God...

Yeah, we definitely
need supplies.

Let's look around.
What do we got?All right, yeah.

A stud finder.
Ooh, I found one.

[both laughing]

Pantyhose?

Those are Angeliners.

We got walkies.Oh, nice!

Go for me, Ketosis.

Yeah, what status
you have over there?

Look at Nicole's nose.[all laughing]

Her nose is like this.

Her lips are smushed up
like this. It's hilarious.

I think I have
my mask on wrong.
Same.

All right, so we need
a ransom note.

Yes.
Oh! Found a "D."

[Pauly]
It's a good time for the guys

to write a note
this time

'cause the girls wrote
so many notes in the past.

"Ron put his head in-between

a cocktail waitress's
breasts."

[Nicole]
"Boing."

"We have Deena.
If you ever want to see

"your pregnant meatball again,
call the duck phone

and give us 50 million."

I don't know what this...?

And some deli meats.

I don't know...Mike, I think

we can leave that out,
we don't need deli meats.

Or... chicken nuggets,

or-- and/or
fries and burgers.

[Pauly]
Let's pack up the van.I'm gonna load up

some snacks
in case we need some.

When you go
to do some kidnapping,

you bring some snacks
with you.

What makes this
kidnapping official?

[Nicole]
Snacks?
Snacks.

It's obviously the snacks.

Some Italians.
Bit of soppressata.

I got some burratas here.

I see a good moozadell
right there,

and it just puts
a smile to my face.

[Mike]
I'll be honest with you,
when you have

all these amazing foods,
that's when you know

you're gonna have a situation.

We have supplies, check.

We're going full-on
"Mission: Impossible."

It's going down.
Charlie is everywhere.

Charlie is everywhere.

Snooki's on the playground.
I'm on the wrong channel.

You can never go wrong
with Italian bread.

I have swamp ass, copy.

I am currently hiding
on a slide.

Stealth.

[laughing]
Anyone have eyes on Ron?

Should we bring
a-a Ronnie?

No, he'll-- ruin it.
No.

Yeah.
[Mike]
Yeah.

Let's roll out, guys.
Operation: Kidnap Deener.

Full effect.
Yes, queen.

Kidnap
a pregnant meatball.

Oh, yeah! Kidnap Deena, yeah.

[all]
We're coming for you.

[evil laughter]

[laughter intensifies]

[Pauly]
You can run,
but you can't hide.

[maniacal laughter]

♪♪

[Jenni]
We're technically
kidnapping two people.

Deener and Baby Deener.

Yeah.
Baby Meatball.

Today we are going
to be kidnappers

because it's just not
the same without Deener.

So we just want to kidnap her,
get her into the car,

so she can be roommates
with us again.

She's gonna kill us.She's probably gonna cry.

'Cause it's Deena.

She's gonna kick and scream.

Snooki for Pauly.

Go for Keto Guido.

We're pulling up
to the destination.

Us as well.
Remain low-key.

I repeat, remain low-key.
[walkie-talkie beeping]

[Mike]
Spotted Deener's car.

She is confirmed to be home.

Bit hungrys right now.

Pauly D for Jenni.
[walkie-talkie beeping]

Just wondering what our plan
of attack is gonna be here.

Leave the salami plate
at the front.

Leave the doorbell...Ring the doorbell.

And then have everyone else
jump the fence in the back

and go through
her sliding glass door.

Copy that.
Mike's eating.

[laughing]

[Jenni]
All right, let's go.

Wait, wait, wait, where you
going with the salamis?

Give me a little piece.
Give me a little piece.

Oh, God, Michael.
Which one do you want?

Yeah, a little soppressata.
Okay.

We're really nice,
I promise.

We're just kidnapping Deena.Play it cool.

Don't mind us.

We're all, like, dressed in
in our ski masks and bandanas.

We look like a crazy
Guido gang right now

in the suburbs of New Jersey.

I want this to go smoothly,

but we got a bunch of chooches
in this house, all right?

Hopefully,
nothing goes wrong.

Angelina, go, go.
Red Team, go.

Copy, ringing
the doorbell now.

[Pauly]
We are at the meatball factory.

[walkie-talkie beeping][Angelina]
Going now.

[doorbell rings]

Where do I go?[Nicole]
Move! Get over here!

Go, go, go, go!

Go! Just go!

What the [bleep]?

[all screaming]

You're coming with us.Ma'am, let's go!

Help me!
Come on!

You're coming with us.Get over here.

What the [bleep]?
[laughing]

You are coming with us,

and there's nothing
you can do about it.

You are all [bleep] crazy.Come on, girl.

What is happening?
Like, you guys are crazy.

You're coming with us.[Nicole]
Come on.

Someone get the ransom note.Hi.

Why are you always dressed
like a creep?

They are just so dramatic.

Like, dressing up
like frickin' crazies.

I'm, like, I can't.
And Vinny with the stocking.

They're so stupid.

Oh, my God.It's a beautiful,

beautiful, beautiful house.

And it's so clean.
And you have your own room.

It's beautiful.You have a really nice room,

really nice bathroom,
spotless.

And you said it's close,
so if I don't feel good...

We're gonna take you
right homes.

It's not even that far.Okay.

[all cheering]

[Nicole]
Yay! We kidnapped her.

The kidnapping worked.
Deena's coming with us.

Thank God. It's like,
I need my meatball.

Did anybody do sex in my bed?

[Pauly]
Nobody touched your bed.

[crosstalk]

No, Ronnie almost did
last night, but no.

You have your--
Can you not ruin this?

Yeah, why is he not--
What happened?

He's supposedly
single now.

My girlfriend came out
last night, and then, boom.

It was-- They were in
the Jacuzzi together,
like, alone.

What is he?
A [bleep] moron?

It's wild.
No, it's bad.I don't get it.

She's still the mother
of your kid, let it
chill for a minute.

If you're gonna break up,
do it civilly.

And you don't need
to rush into a girl,

like the first time
you've seen [bleep].

[laughter]You understand?

There's a baby here.

He's about to see [bleep]
for the first time.

Oh, my-- Deener![all laughing]

Stop packing my bag.

[Deena]
Like, what goes on
in Ron's life?

I don't know if I can handle
all this drama sober.

We have packed
the bag, Deeners.

We're ready to go.How many weeks
are we now?

Uh, 18.

[Nicole]
I love how you popped.

Hey, you and Mike got
the same stomach now.

[all]
Oh!

That's besmudgeries
right there.

♪ Oh, no, oh, no ♪

♪ Oh, no, oh, no,
oh, no ♪

♪ Oh, no, oh, no ♪

♪ Oh, no, no, no, no, no ♪♪

[Deena]
This is it?
[Nicole]
Yep.

Ooh, pretty.

Now this is a house.[Nicole]
We're fancy.

It's a house.

Oh, it's so pretty.
Nicest house we've had.

Oh, yes.
I like it.

This is our chair.

Deena, welcome to our home.

Kinda smells garbagy
in here though.

Eh...

You can smell everything.

I have a sensitive nose.

I can smell things,
like, for miles away.

This house smells like garbage.
Definitely a shore house.

You're the room that says
"Meatball On Board."

Oh, I love it.

[Pauly]
Get it? Cause you have
a meatball on board.

Did you get the sign?Yeah.

Oh, very nice.Do you like it?

No, I love it.

Do you feel comfortable?Yes, I do.

And I love it.
They have, like, a little
"Meatball On Board" sign.

I have, like, this cute little
room with my own bathroom.

And they made sure no one
was coming into my room

while I wasn't here,
and it's just sweet.

It just means a lot to me,
and I love it.

Oh, Ron's sleeping?
Hi, Ron.

Is he alive?
[Nicole]
Oh, my God.

Is he alive?He's still sleeping.

He's still sleeping.
Check if he's breathing.

[Jenni]
What is on his pillow?

Do you wanna get up?

[Jenni]
Deena's here.

It's 6:30.

Ron's still sleeping.
He's not saying a word.

Dude, Deena's here.
Get your [bleep] together.

Yeah? It's crazy.

We don't know how to handle
Ronnie right now.

We've all given him our all.

I tried a little bit
of tough love.

I tried talking [bleep]
to him.

Like, it didn't work.
I don't know all the answers.

I can sit back and tell him
what I think he should do

but he just doesn't absorb
any kind of advice.

[Vinny]
Did anyone tap him?
Is he alive?

[Angelina]
He's drooling on his pillow.Yeah.

I said hi, he didn't hear me,
I don't think.

[Angelina]
This roller-coaster
of Ronnie's is just terrible.

You know, it's like
he doesn't wanna wake up

from this nightmare
it almost seems like.

[Nicole sighs]

[Ronnie coughs][Angelina]
Oh, my God.

This relationship with Jen right
now is making Ron really sick.

[Jenni whispering]
He's still in bed.

Oh, that's not right.

[Nicole]
We don't know
what to do right now.

It's like, "Hello,
are you alive?"

Like, I don't know
what's going on.

Poor thing. He's dying.

♪ Turn my music up ♪

♪ Turn my music up... ♪

[Pauly through megaphone]
Oh, swing that, Deena, yeah!

Oh, yeah!

Missed you.Missed you, too.

All right, guys, let's go eat

Italian dinner
tonight for Deena.

Yass! We're going
Italian, Osteria.

Oh, my God!
I love that place.

[Mike]
We love that place, yes.

Osteria is one of the nicest
places in the area

to do a little Italian
fine dining situation.

Yo, fam.
Mm?

We're going to this really
nice Italian restaurant.

Like, the best
in the areas...

...if you wanna get dressed
and showered maybe?

That's a big zeroes?
All right.

Thank you.All right, no problem.

[Ronnie]
I need to just lay down,
regroup, recharge,

and go through my own process.

I love the help that
I'm getting from my roommates,

but I do like to go through
my things in my own way.

You know, some people wanna go
out and laugh and joke.

Me, I'd rather
get in my own feelings,

make a decision,
and that's it.

You ready?Well, the good thing is...

What?He's being supportive.

Who?

My husband.
Well, good.

"Have fun tonight. Kill it."

Guys. Can't live with them,
but you can't live without 'em.

I'm going lesbian.
Heh!

Yeah, she's moving in with me.

[Angelina]
My grandmother is psychic.

Do you know
what she said to me?

"I'm sensing somebody is
in talks for a divorce."

What'd she say?

She sees in the future

Jenni and Roger
getting divorced.

Well, I mean,
I always talk about it.

Nicole always talks about it...

[Angelina]
Yeah, but like even just
talking about it a little bit,

my grandmother, like, knew,
isn't that crazy?

I don't understand what's going
on between her and Roger,

but to be honest with you,
I don't hear her talking

about Roger that much.

I don't know what the future
holds for her.

But, I mean, look,
my grandmother is a psychic,

and she knows what the hell
the future holds.

When did I not say that?

That's what I'm saying.
Like, welcome to relationships.

It's a marriage.
Yeah.

My grandmother does say some
crazy ass [bleep], though.

Yeah, she does.

Apple doesn't fall far from
the tree now, does it?

[Nicole]
Mmm.

[Pauly]
What the-- [laughing]

What are you gonna iron
with that, baby clothes?

Yo, can you stop making fun
of my little iron, bro?

♪ You are a chooch ♪

You're just a hater.

[Pauly]
What is this guy doing with
this little chooch iron?

Where's Paula?
He needs his mom.

I just found a nail over here.

Is this yours?Mm-mmm. Not mine.

How is it--
How is it mine?

It's not mine.

[nail clipper clicking]
Get some shrapnel.

[chuckling]

Bro, are you [bleep]
kidding me?

You [bleep] dirty [bleep]!

[laughing]
That was a big one!

[bleep] gigantic.

When was the last time
you cut your nails, bro?

I love Pauly,
but I don't [bleep]

with his toenail clippings,
that has to stop.

Bro, you'll be there for, like,
four hours with that iron.

Nah, bro. "Irony" does
the [bleep] good job.

What a chooch.

Look at the baby bump.

[Pauly]
The cabs are here!

Is it?Yeah, let's roll out.

Yo, Ron!
Cabs are here.

♪♪

♪ Take me all the way... ♪

[through megaphone]
Cabs are here, cabs are here!

Cabs are here,
cabs are here!

Cabs are here, cabs are here!

♪ Everything... ♪

Oh, yeah,
the cabs are here.

So, Ron's really,
like, a [bleep] mess.

[Deena]
I'm, like, super sad Ron's
not with us, but this is like

"Deena's back at the shore,"
so I just can't wait

to eat some good Italian food
and just have a good time.

And I haven't really been out
in a long time, so I'm excited.

Can't believe
Deeners is here.Deener.

We're always missing one,
though, now.

[Deena]
I know.
[Nicole]
I know.

A little light.Ron's lost.

I had to, like, check
if he was breathing

'cause he wasn't moving.

Did he talk to you
at all today, Dee?

Like, when you got there?No.

He was crying
under his pillow.

Really?
He was crying?Crying?

How do you know?I could tell.

It's getting scary now.[Pauly]
Yep.

[Nicole]
I'm worried as a friend.
Like, seeing him

with all this drama,
and me not knowing
what's going on.

It's like,
"Hello! Are you alive?

Like, I don't know
what's going on."

I don't know what to do,
but I'm not gonna

give up on the kid,
he needs family.

There's a light at the end
of the tunnel.

Look at my man.
He turned it around.

That's what I'm saying.
This could be him.

This guy is a pleasure
to be around now.

This could be him.
You can take what you're given,

and you can either react
positively or negatively.

Yes.

I would do anything

for a Ron and Sam fight
right now.

[laughing]

[Vinny]
We really miss Ronnie.

We wish that he could be
part of family dinner.

But I'm kind of liking
this right now,

because this empty chair
is a barricade between

me and Angelina, and I don't
wanna sit next to her.

Hi, Vinny!

Yes.How you doing, Mike?

Yo, he really
hasn't talked

to Angelina in,
like, six months.

[chuckling]

Pauly, can you tell your wife
to be nice to me now?

He doesn't wanna speak to me.Yeah, Vinny,

what's the deal
with you and Angelina?

You guys have
some sexual tension.

Like, what is up?Yeah, just give her the "D".

'Cause that's where I was born
and raised in, Detroit.

Vinny stone will not talk
to this woman.

They have some
Staten Island tension.

They need to have sex
and get it over with.

You should make out
with him.

Seriously.

Shut up.No, I don't think she is.

Wait, let me look at her.
Oh, yeah, kind of.

Wait, look at me.

Did you get
your teeth done?

Yeah, no,
I think they're nice.

I like 'em.

Eff off!
Oh, my God!

Do you have no bra on?

[Angelina laughing]

Wait. He is really, like,
looking at her tonight.

"Did you get your teeth done?
Do you have no bra on?"

Angelina,
what we was saying--

[utensils clatter]

Drink your wine, Pauly.[laughing]

I'm gonna spill it on you.He knows how to shut me up.

As Vinny's husband, I will give
him a hall pass for Angelina,

provided he washes down there

100 times
with hand sanitizer.

You guys should bang.

Listen, if you wanna touch 'em,
just let me know.

[laughing][Deena]
You're like--

I mean, they're brand-new,
spanking new.

Nobody-- And you know what?
I gotta be honest with you.

Chris hasn't even touched them.

[Pauly]
Wh-wh-what?!

He hasn't touched
your boobs yet?

What?!Jionni [bleep] mine
like a little baby.

You had them chicks for,
like, a couple of months now,

and he hasn't touched 'em
since then?No.

Why?![Pauly]
Does anybody else

see a problem?That's crazy.

Does anybody else
see an issue?

He hasn't had sex
with her since April.

Has he had sex with you,

or just hasn't grabbed
your boobs since April?

All right, let me be
very honest and vocal.

Can I be vocal, or am I--
Or are people gonna judge?

No one's judging.Go ahead, go ahead, go ahead.

So, me and Chris, we've known
each other so many years, right?

So, he invited me out
to some pool party.

I was so drunk,
I went back to his apartment.

I finally gave in
and I gave him the sex.

But he was like pound--

Like, it was like,
I was sore for, like, a week.

Vinny's face is priceless.

And literally...Whoa!

...after that I never,
ever, ever saw that again.

I'm like, "What happened
to that night?"

Like, you never
did that as crazy."

Wait, so you haven't had sex
with him since that night?

Damn!

No, no, no. We did,

but it was never as, like,
intense and, like, like...

Oh!
[Angelina]
Like that.

And I'm just like...

He's, like,
intrigued over here.

This is crazy to me.

Now do you have sex?We do, but it's like--

I'm just-- I go on top,
bom bom bom.

[Deena]
Bom bom bom.
[Mike]
Bom bom bom.

And then it's like, boom, done.
And then sometimes,

I don't even do it
because he does it quick.

He's like, "I told you
not to move that fast."

[laughing]
I'm like-- But I'm like,
I don't know what to do.

This is awesome.
[laughing]

♪ Angelina hasn't gotten
pounded in a long time ♪

♪ Angelina hasn't gotten
pounded in a long time ♪

She just wants to be
pounded out.

Yo, she just wants
to be-- Yo.

I just wanna get pounded,
and I just get pounded out.

[Pauly]
Vinny's right here.

[laughing]

Close your ears!

Like this!

[Pauly]
She said she couldn't
walk for three days.

He laid the pipe strong
that night.

[laughing]
Ooh!

[Angelina]
I'm gonna get killed.

I'm getting divorced
before I get married.

♪♪

[Jenni]
I'm so full.

Should we wrap some of these,

uh, appetizers and bring 'em
home to Ronnie?

He could use
a little chocolate.

[Pauly]
You guys, let's roll out.
Cabs are here.

I'm ready. I'm full.Yay!

I would say this dinner was
a success, because I had FOMO.

I missed my roommates, and,
you know, maybe I should've

just moved in the house
in the beginning.

[sighing]

But I'm happy I'm here,
and I'm just-- I love them.

[Pauly]
I ate so much.
I can't even fit in the cab.

[laughing]
Yeah!

I got Ronnie some pastas.Nice.

[Angelina]
Well, that was fun.

Yeah, that was
a fun dinner.

Pauly was being a little bit
of a creep tonight.

"Oh, your teeth,
and your boobs."

Well, take a compliment!

From him? Oh, my God,
I'm, like, ecstatic.

[laughter]
Why?

I'm just like-- I'm like,

"The king is noticing
my enormous breastses."

Pauly?!
The king?!

The king? Okay!

The king of what?

The king of guidos is noticing
my enormous breastses.

The king in your life
is your man.

My fiance's the king
of the garbage men.

Wow!

"The king of garbage men."

You just put
your man so-- Wow!

You can't come back from that.I love him, I love him.

Angelina, you might as well
go on to your fourth engagement,

'cause this [bleep]
ain't gonna last.

It's just so funny to me.
He's like, "Oh, nice breasts!

Like, did you just
get your boobs done?"

I'm like, what the [bleep]?

That's not what he said.What did he say?

He said, "Are you not
wearing a bra?"

He didn't say...

Oh, my God!He said, "Nice breasts!"

[laughter]

So, Tater Tot
posted something.

Ooh, let me see.

"A man who wants what's best
for you is best for you."

[Pauly]
Ronnie is a reactor.

He reacts to her,
and she knows how
to trigger him.

I think she's really good
at egging him on,

and he falls for the bait
every time.

Oh, so she's with
a man right now.

Somebody else
that's not Ronnie.

[Vinny chuckles]
Yeah.That's treating her better.

♪♪

Oh, that was
a great dinner, guys.

Oy vey!

So great.That was good.

Oh, yeah!

Ugh, let's go to bed.

Can't wait to get in jammies.

I'm full!

[Ronnie coughing]

♪♪

[whispering]
He's still in bed.Shut up.

Oh, that's not right.

Poor thing.

[Deena]
I think he's just depressed.

[Angelina]
He's just sleeping.
This relationship

with Jen right now
is making him really sick.

I don't know at this point
if Ronnie will ever

figure out his life,
but right now, it's really bad.

[whispering]
Vinny!
Huh?

He's still in bed.He's still in bed?

[Angelina]
Oh, God.

I think he's just depressed.

Hey, Ron.Hi.

We brought you food
if you're hungry, babe.

We brought you food.

How are you?Just tired.

Brought you some really--Tired? You slept all day.

I'm mentally just drained.

Well, you're gonna
have to eat.

I brought you some pastas,
some really good pastas.

You know what I mean?
Some good comfort food.

[Ronnie]
Yeah, I probably should eat,
but I don't want to.

I just, like, feel like
I'm not hungry, I'm not happy,

I'm not sad.
I'm just, like, numb.

I'm gonna get up in a minute.

Okay.I'll be right down.

This whole situation with Ron
is just [bleep].

Ron and Jen,
they're both toxic,

and, you know,
we wanna be there for him,

but we don't know
what to do right now.

He should eat.

We should heat up
that food for him.

[Ronnie coughing]

[coughing continues]

Oof!That Ronnie?

[Angelina]
Oh, my God.

[whispering]
He's [bleep] still in bed.

No. Still?

He's like,
"I'm getting up now."

He's getting up now?Getting up now?

For what?
I'm going to bed.

So, the way Ronnie's acting
right now, he's depressed,

and I don't know how to fix
Ronnie's moods at all anymore.

But I'm hoping that we can get
him back to his old self...

Oh, it's terrible.

Yeah, I don't get it.

He's dying.

♪ Help me, I'm alive ♪

♪ But I can't open my eyes ♪

♪ And I'm trapped
under fallen... ♪

[coughing]

♪ I'm about to break free ♪

♪ And only you can save me ♪

♪ You're the air
that I breathe... ♪

[exhales]

♪ You're all that I need ♪♪

♪ Watch you as you going ♪

♪ Going gone ♪

♪ Parting's such
sweet sorrow ♪

♪ When all ♪

♪ The pieces fall... ♪

[Ronnie]
So, I wake up this morning,

and obviously everything's
still weighing on my head.

I'm at a point where
how much more I can deal with

someone that's irrational,
doesn't wanna listen,

gets angry, like vulgar.

It's just like--
It's becoming too much.

♪♪

I can sit around
and be miserable and mopey,

but it's like,
what does that solve?

[Mike]
Ronnie, you coming
to get a haircut?

Yeah.
Yass!

So, let me just go enjoy
myself as much as I can.

Let's roll out, fellas.Have fun, guys.

Bye, Angelina.

Ooh! Bye, Vinny!

Bye, Vin! Love you.

♪ We're the kids,
kids, kids ♪

♪♪

♪ We're the kids,
kids, kids... ♪

♪♪

Shotgun going first, yes!

That's all right,
I want you guys to
be the guinea pigs.

♪ Kids, kids... ♪

Let's go get first guys'
haircut.

GTL.

This is Mike's local spot,
which is awesome,

because Mike can now
vouch for this barbershop

so we're not just walking into
any random one blind.

'Cause we all know
how that goes.

[Jenni]
How long have you
been a barber?

Nice.

[Vinny]
Mike, you sure
this guy is good?

[Mike]
Yeah. These guys
are top notch.

Mike talks very highly
about you guys,

said he comes here
all the time.

James, I'm thinking
that I wanna do the, um,

the wax in the nose areas.

Yes.
[Pauly]
What is it?

Little stick with hot wax
right in the nose areas.

You know, as a guido,
you need to have

the whole package correct.

Oh!

[Pauly]
Oh, damn.

[Vinny]
Oh, a double?
Oh, my God!

Beauty is pain.

[Mike]
The guido's nose is key

to living your best life.
[chuckling]

You ready?
I'm ready. Do it.

One, two, three.

Oh!
[Pauly]
Damn!

One, two, three.Oh!

Look at that thing.Wow! Look at that.

[Pauly]
I never thought
I'd ever see that,

but I did, and it's nasty.

To get a shape-up, or...

Yeah, I got ya.

His hair is an indication
of how his life his going.

[Pauly]
It's his mood ring.

Yeah, if my hair's [bleep] up,
then that's it.

It's like--So, clean him up.

[Ronnie laughing]

It's gonna take a lot more than
a haircut to fix Ronnie's life,

but you gotta start somewhere.

And it's good to see
Ronnie smile right now.

Really see it coming together
in Ronnie's world right now.

Do you see it?
Yeah.

That's my hair,
not my world.

We can go right back
to the guylights right now.

You know what I mean?
My man will do

the guylights if need be.Oh, word? Yep.

[Ronnie]
It feels good to be back
with the boys.

I had a bad day yesterday.
I was just sitting at home

and just, you know,
overthinking things

and just making things
worse for myself.

[Pauly]
Ronnie Magro back
in full effect.

[Ronnie]
Today's good.
Just being able

to get my bearings, you know,
and get my mind right.

Look at that. He cut
all his problems away.

[Ronnie laughing]

Get a haircut every day.

Now, that right there
looks like Taken Ronnie.

That's Taken Ronnie
right there.

♪ I don't believe you
this time ♪

♪ I'm leaving you behind ♪

♪ I don't believe you ♪

♪ This time ♪

♪ I'm leaving you behind.... ♪

I know that I have a great heart
and I'm loyal,

and I'm not gonna sit there
and take that from somebody

that I [bleep] done
evething for.

[Mike]
Does a good cut over there.

Thank you. Appreciate it.No problem, bro.

[Ronnie]
This is a fresh start.

You know, I've been through
a roller-coaster

of emotions
the last couple months.

Good to meet you, man.
Thanks for fitting us in.

Appreciate you.Thank you.

[Ronnie]
I love my roommates.

They have my back,
you know,

and they wanna see
the best for me.

We love you,
and we're trying to help you.

I love you, Ron.

[Deena]
Ron, no one's perfect.
No one's perfect, Ron.

I love all you guys.We love you.

They're my family, you know.
We're brothers and sisters.

You know, having them
near me to support me

while I'm going through this,
it actually feels good,

'cause I'm used to going through
most of this stuff by myself.

You know, it means
a lot to me.

All is right in the universe
now that Ronnie got his cut.

Now let's just go GTL.

[laughter]Damn!
I wanna come too!

[Vinny]
That's what she said.

♪♪

♪ I'm leaving you behind ♪♪