All language subtitles for Romantically.Speaking.2015.PixL.720p.HDrip.X2641.Solar

(Rich)
Let me tell you
a little something

I've learned
over the years, pal-y.

Sometimes it might seem
like life and death

out there on the diamond, but
when it comes right down to it,

don't blame the game.

Your happiness
is up to you.

All right, we got to take
a break at the top of the hour

for the news,
but I'll be back in six minutes

with more sports on the fly
with me, Rich Cookson, KQRY.

And we're out.

- Great show, Dad.
- Thank you, sweetheart.

But do you think maybe you're
just a little bit biased?

Just because I'm your daughter
doesn't mean

I can't be a fan, too.

I suppose you're right.

Besides, I can use
all the fans I can get.

The ratings are in
for this quarter,

and you're on top again.

You won?

It's not exactly
a contest, honey.

Don't listen
to your dad, Ariel.

Radio is a contest,
and your dad is a winner.

I'm gonna be just like him
when I'm older.

We'll talk about this later.

Come on. We've only got
three minutes,

and I need the East Coast
scores.

This is Ariel Cookson,
reporting to you live.

(woman)
Ariel, why can't I find a guy
like your Jonathan?

You know what you should do?

You should bring him
on the show.

On--on my show?

(woman)
He could take some calls,

maybe tell the rest
of us what we're doing wrong.

We all know you're
a relationship expert, Ariel.

But I'd like to hear it
from your other half.

(Ariel)
Okay, well, thank you so much
for your call.

That's all the time
we have left for today.

And I've just been
reminded

about our special
live remote tomorrow.

2:00 p.m. at the ballroom of
the Grand Vista Hotel downtown,

where you'll be able
to meet me in person

and ask questions
live on the air.

Hope to see you all there.

In the meantime,
coming up next on KQRY,

we have
Straight Talk with Bethany,

so stay tuned.

Thank you for listening.
This has been

Romantically Speaking
with Ariel Cookson,

and as my father used to say,

"Your happiness
is up to you."

And we're out.

- Great show, kid.
- Oh, thank you.

I did not think that last caller
was going to give up.

You're the
relationship expert.

Can't blame your audience for
wanting to know how you do it.

I'm here, I'm here.

Martin, where's my rewrites?

Uh, it's coming.

And my coffee.

Right.

- Bethany.
- Ariel.

Heard your show
on the way over.

Charming as always.

Oh, thank you.

- Have a good show.
- Thanks. I will.

- Bye, kiddo.
- Bye.

He was a legend,

Your dad.

- It was the end of an era.
- He was the best.

Well, you're no slouch
yourself.

- Oh, thanks.
- No, I listened

to your show today.
It was good.

- But?
- There's no "but."

- Just a maybe.
- "Maybe" what?

Tomorrow's the live broadcast
at the Grand.

Why don't you bring
Jonathan?

Introduce him
in the audience.

You know, get some buzz
happening.

Look, the station's numbers
are down across the board.

We need this,

and, if I'm being
completely honest,

you do too.

Just think about it.

Hmm.

Play your cards right,
you and Jonathan might become

the Brad and Angelina
of local radio.

What if he says no?
I mean, Eric made it

very clear he wasn't just
suggesting I bring Jonathan.

It was basically
an order.

Just stop worrying.

You're getting yourself
all worked up

about this for nothing.

- What--get away.
- Hey!

Putting a crib together
is hungry work, you know?

I just--I hope
you're right.

My wife is always right.

I know this because
she tells me so.

- [chuckles]
- Every day.

- What are we talking about?
- Ariel is finally

going to introduce Jonathan
to the audience

at her show
tomorrow.

- Your Jonathan?
- What's so surprising

- about that?
- Nothing. It's just...

- [groans]
- The couple of dozen times

I've hung out
with the guy,

he never really struck me

as the type of guy
who enjoys making

- public appearances.
- Obviously.

So he's gonna do
whatever he can

to make her happy.
[doorbell rings]

I'll believe it
when I see it.

Good luck with that.

- Right, Nathan?
- Right.

What are we talking about?

Ariel's show tomorrow.

Oh, I can't wait.

- I bet.
- Cleared my whole schedule

- for the afternoon.
- We wouldn't miss it

for the world.

Dave is so excited,
he's decided to take

the day off work.

We'll be in the front row
cheering you on.

Oh, you guys.
You're the best.

- You make me feel better.
- Oh!

- Oh?
- Oh, no.

- No, no, no, no.
- Baby, is it time? Is it time?

- No, no, no, no, no, no, wait.
- Okay, listen.

- I'm gonna call the--
- I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.

I just--

I had a sudden craving
for chocolate pudding.

Oh, that's normal.

[chuckles]
On spinach.

Okay.

What do I do with these?

[chuckles]

So no date tonight?

No. Vanessa bailed on me.

I thought you broke up
with her?

Uh, that was
a different Vanessa.

Oh, right, right, right.
The one that you brought

to Dave's birthday party.

I-I thought she
broke up with you.

She did.
This is a new Vanessa.

What about you?

Where's your boyfriend,
Jonathan

and his famous
chocolate torte?

That's a very
good question,

- Please leave a message.
[cell phone beeps]

Uh, hey, it's me. Uh,
just wondering where you were.

Dinner's almost ready,
so hurry.

Everybody's waiting
for your chocolate torte.

Okay, see you soon.

- He's probably parking.
- Probably.

Yeah.
[sighs]

It's a nice night.

Mm-hmm.

Look, maybe he just got
caught up at work

and forgot to call.

And turned his phone off?

[chuckles]

And that is why
you are my best friend.

Okay.
Call me if you need me.

(woman)
You have no new messages.

Jonathan?

- Hi.
- What are you doing?

(Jonathan)
We waited over an hour
for you up there.

I brought the torte.

I don't care about
the stupid torte, Jonathan.

I want to know why you're just
sitting in your car

instead of having dinner
with us.

Well, that's the thing,
really.

(Jonathan)
This isn't my torte.

- What?
- You know how you always

tell people on the radio
that I make this great

chocolate torte
from scratch?

Okay. So what does that
have to do with--

I didn't make the torte.

I've never made the torte.

- Never?
- Never.

What about the one
for your birthday?

Especially not that one.

So why did he lie about it?

He said he had to.
He said that--

When you talk about me
on your radio show,

you make it sound
like I'm Superman.

Great tennis player,
amazing chef, fantastic dancer.

I mean, okay, so maybe
I exaggerate a little bit,

and, you know,
it's only because I love you.

You love the idea
of me.

You have this picture
of the perfect guy in your head.

And sooner or later,
I'm gonna let you down.

I just think sooner's
probably better than later.

[sighs]
And then he broke up with me.

Oh, I'm sorry, A.

But who knows?
Maybe you'll get back together.

He's just been assigned
a new project in South Africa.

He lives tomorrow for 12 months
in Johannesburg.

Well, I'm almost done
with this layout.

If you want, I can stop by
that Chinese place on the corner

and pick up their famous
"break-up" dumplings.

Oh, thank you, no.
I'm okay.

I have to prep for
tomorrow's show anyways.

I don't know what
I'm gonna tell Eric.

Some relationship
specialist I am.

All right, well, if you want,
I'm just a phone call away.

- Like always.
- Bye.

(Ariel)
Good night.

[exhales deeply]

[sighs]

[exhales deeply]
Ah.

Showtime, Ms. Cookson.

- Thanks, Kenny.
- Good luck.

Or, I guess they say
break a leg.

Thank you.

There you are!

I've been looking
all over for you.

- I was just, um--
- Let's go, let's go.

The place
is filling up already.

You got a lot of fans
in there.

Now, before airtime,
I'll go on.

Welcome everyone,
say a few words,

then I'll introduce you.

You'll come through
the curtains.

- Where's Jonathan?
- Well, he's--

What does he look like?
I'll just go and get him.

The thing is, Eric,
if you just--

if you let me
explain something--

Sir, sir.
I'm sorry to interrupt.

But Carl is having
a problem with the thing.

Oh, no.
We don't have time for problems.

We go live in six minutes.

- Good luck in there.
- Thank you.

[exhales deeply]

Looks like a full house.

Oh, you made it.

Like I'd miss my best friend's
first live stage appearance.

All those people out there
watching me.

Hey, you're gonna do fine,
okay?

Just close your eyes and..
[inhales deeply]

Pretend you're at
the studio.

[inhales deeply]
Whew.

Good thing
I brought these.

Break-up dumplings.

Afternoon, folks, I'd like to
welcome you all here today.

My name is Eric Damon; I'm the
station manager here at KQRY.

It might be
a little cold by now,

but we can heat them up
after the show.

And now without further ado,
please welcome the host...

You are the best.

of Romantically Speaking,
Ariel Cookson.

[applause]

Aw.

Well. And as a special
bonus surprise,

You all heard her talk
about him,

now you actually get to
meet him,

her perfect man, Jonathan.
[applause]

No.

No. No, no, no.
Okay.

(Eric)
Over here, Jonathan.

That's not Jonathan.

Hi, everybody.

I think I should
explain something.

Here we go.
We're live in five,

four, three,
two, one.

- And now it's time for...
- Oh, sure.

- Romantically Speaking.
- Awkward.

the show that takes
an honest look at relationships

and how you can get
your heart back on track.

- Here's your host...
- Whoo.

Relationship expert
Ariel Cookson.

Good afternoon.
As always, I want to thank you

for joining us on
Romantically Speaking on KQRY.

We're coming to you live
from the beautiful ballroom

of the glamorous
Grand Vista Hotel...

Ladies, you're missing
the show.

Don't you want to talk
to Ariel?

We can call her any time.

It's not every day we get to
meet a perfect man

like you, Jonathan.
[all giggling]

Right.
Well, the, uh, the thing is

- I'm not--
- We think you're perfect.

[both giggling]

- Isn't that something?
- Yeah.

(Ariel)
Now, let's take some questions

from our live audience.

Anybody have a question
about a relationship concern?

Let's see if I can help.

Could I get this
delivered, please?

Hello, Ariel.
Love your show.

- Thank you very much.
- Hello?

(woman)
I was wondering if you
could tell us a story about

your relationship with Jonathan
and how he helps you?

How he helps me?

Okay.
Well.

Wow, that's a really good
question.

How does he help me?

Well, how doesn't
he help me?

[all laughing]
- Aw.

Uh, could you give us
a specific example maybe?

Um...

I had a really rough day
yesterday,

and Jonathan was very helpful.

He brought me dumplings
from my favorite restaurant,

and we talked and talked
into the night.

- Aw.
- Dumplings?

- Oh, that's so sensitive.
- Oh!

- Thank you, Ariel.
- Thank you.

[applause]

Upset?
No, I am not upset.

I'm furious.

Why can't I have
a live remote?

I'm sorry, Bethany, but
your show just isn't a good fit

for the afternoon
brunch audience.

And that's all the time
we have left for today.

We'll discuss this later.
I have to go.

What?
Wha--Eric?

(Ariel)
It has been really fun meeting
so many

of my wonderful listeners
in person

here at
the Grand Vista Hotel.

I want to thank you for sharing
your stories with us.

Straight Talk with Bethany
is coming up next on KQRY.

This is Ariel Cookson
saying good-bye for now,

and as my father
used to say...

(all)
"Your happiness
is up to you."

[applause]

And we're out.

Thank you guys
so much.

Bye.

So, that guy wasn't really
Jonathan?

It's none of our business,
okay?

Yeah, but when she
introduced the guy as--

Zip it, kid.

- Oh, I love your show.
- Ariel, I love you.

Ariel, can I get
a quick picture?

Oh, um,
actually I really have to go.

I'm so sorry.

Thank you guys for coming.
I'm so sorry.

- I'm waiting for someone.
- Hi. Come on, let's go.

- Hi. Oh!
- Hi. So,

what was that all about?

I know, I know.
I just--I--

Didn't I tell you?

Didn't I tell you?
They loved you two together.

Okay, Eric, we really need
to talk about something.

You're right, we do.
We need to talk about

what other publicity
opportunities we can set up

for the two of you.

- Jonathan, they loved you.
- Jonathan?

I know.
Crazy, right?

Well, we'll let you guys
discuss business.

- Great show, Ariel.
- Thank you.

- You too, Jonathan.
- [chuckles]

- Wait a minute.
- Babe, I think Jonathan

could get a ride home
from his girlfriend?

- No, but I--
- Yeah, right, honey?

- Yeah.
- Okay, wait.

- I don't understand how--
- Babe, we should just go.

- Come on.
- I don't get it.

We don't get the numbers
until tomorrow,

but if the phone calls
we were getting at the station

mean anything,
you two were a hit.

- Congratulations.
- Thank you.

- Yep.
- Oh,

let's get out of here,
please.

Okay.

Oh, I can't believe
I just did that.

- Did what?
- I just lied to that entire

audience.
I lied to my listeners.

- I lied to my boss.
- Ariel, Ariel.

- Hello, hello.
- Ariel, can I get a picture?

- Thank you so much for coming.
- I want one, too.

You didn't lie
about anything.

What are you talking about?
They all think you're Jonathan.

Yeah, but it's not your fault.
It's Eric's fault.

Besides, anyone listening
is not going to be able

- to tell the difference.
- I know, but it's just...

Ms. Cookson, I heard you
on the radio.

- Great show.
- Thank you.

So you're Jonathan, huh?

I thought you'd be
taller.

Well, I, uh--

Plenty of room.

Watch your fingers.

I should have said something
right away.

I don't know
what I was thinking.

You were thinking that your boss
just made a huge mistake,

and you didn't want
to embarrass him.

Yeah, but all I did
was make it worse.

Can I help you, Kenny?

- Nope. Just straight home?
- Yes, thank you.

Hey, look, I think you're making
a big deal out of nothing.

It's not nothing, okay?
Not to me, anyway.

You know, my dad, he was--

he was famous for his honesty
on the radio.

And that's why
people loved him.

It's why they
respected him so much.

I feel like I just
let him down.

Well, if it's any
consolation,

I kind of enjoyed
playing Jonathan for a while.

- Really?
- Heck yeah.

All those compliments?
That was great for my ego.

Not to mention, look at this.

I got, like, half a dozen
phone numbers.

- What?
- Hey, you're the one

that created the perfect
dream guy on the radio.

You can't blame
your listeners for wanting

a little bit
of the magic.

So, what are you
gonna do?

Tell the truth.

Tomorrow on my show,
I'll make an announcement,

and explain exactly
what happened.

Exactly?

Yeah--why not?

Well, you're
the relationship expert.

I mean, don't you think
it's gonna be a little awkward

when your audience finds out
what happened

with the real Jonathan?

Ugh, you're not
really helping.

Look.

I just think you're trying to
fix a problem

that doesn't exist.

Okay, I'll call you
tomorrow.

- Love you.
- Love you, too.

One more stop, Kenny.
10th and Howard.

No problem, Ms. Cookson.

Good night.

Good night. Thanks.

So, you're not Jonathan,

the perfect boyfriend
she's always talking about?

Let's just keep that
between us.

Of course.
I'm a professional.

Cream. No sugar.
And I got today's promo copy

three hours early.

Wow.
Very impressive, Martin.

- Thank you.
- There she is.

Congratulations!

Thanks.
For--for what?

Yesterday's show.

I knew it was good
when we were doing it,

but the overnight's came in,

and let's just say that
we haven't had

ratings like this
in a while.

You knocked it
out of the park, kid.

[chuckles]
That's--that's great.

You don't look excited.

Ugh, I'm sorry.
It is--it is great.

Really.
It's just that

I need to add something
to the top of the show today.

Okay, shoot.

It's about what happened
yesterday

during the live remote.

- With Jonathan?
- Right.

Um, the thing is,
he was--

- Nathan.
- You knew?

I've watched you
grow up, kid.

You guys have been pals
since college, right?

- Yeah.
- I don't think I've ever seen

a picture of you
without him in it some place.

I know, but I didn't mean
for it to happen, okay?

It's just that Jonathan--
the real Jonathan,

he broke up with me
the night before the show.

And Nathan was just there
to make me feel better

when the curtain opened,
and--

Everybody jumped
to conclusions,

- and you got stuck.
- Yeah.

Well, you guys
fooled everybody.

Yeah, but I-I don't want to.

I want to tell my audience
the truth.

It's what my dad would do,
right?

- Ariel!
- Good morning, Eric. Hi.

Listen, I need to see you
in my office, both of you.

Oh.

Ariel, Carl, I think you both
know Mr. Frazer.

Hello, Mr. Frazer.

- Please, just Henry.
- Oh.

The last time I saw you,

you were sitting on
your father's lap

- in a studio.
- [chuckles]

And Carl?
You don't age.

- When was the last time?
- Well, you were

just starting up
your company.

And now Amherst
Communications Group

is one of the largest
radio interests in the country.

[chuckles]
I wouldn't go that far.

It's only 218 stations.

I wanted to go for 220,
but Penny--that's my wife--

she has her own ideas.

- And one of them is you.
- Me?

May I introduce my wife
and business partner,

Penny Frazer.
I don't make a move without her.

I'm a big fan of the show,
Ariel.

I've even managed to have
my husband tune in,

although talking about
relationships

is not exactly one
of his strongest suits.

But we both agree that you
would benefit

from a wider audience.

And the Frazers think
that the best way

for you to do that might be
through syndication.

- My show?
- Yes.

Now the plan would be
to roll out

Romantically Speaking
gradually,

starting with a few cities
at first,

and then once we get
a sense of what the ratings are,

perhaps fine tune
the format,

and then let the show
go national.

Oh, my gosh,
this is incredible.

Hold on now.
It's not a done deal.

- Well, it's do--
- There's that other shoe

- that I have to drop.
- Yes.

Truth is, radio's taken a hit
in the last three years,

and we only have the resources
to roll out one at a time.

What my husband is trying
to say is that originally

there was another show
here at the station

that he was considering
for syndication.

As if I have to ask
which one.

Henry, how are you?
It is so good to see you again.

Bethany, nice to see you.

Penny! Oh, my gosh,
I haven't seen you since

that investment conference
last year.

- Mm-hmm.
- Oh, I love what you've done

with your hair.
It is so much better.

Oh, why, thank you.
Good to see you, too.

What I was saying was that
we are going to have to make

a decision soon about
which of your two shows

- to syndicate.
- It's not just up to us.

They're--the board has to
consider it, too.

Exactly, which is why
we'd like to have you join us

on Saturday for a little
get-together up at the house

to meet
the board members.

- Sounds wonderful.
- Sure. Sure.

And you will be
bringing Jonathan, of course.

Right. Yeah.
My boyfriend, Jonathan.

- Yeah.
- When he was on your live show

yesterday, there was
just such a--

- Chemistry. Yeah? Yeah.
- warm and wonderful tone

to your voice.

Would be wonderful
for the board members

to see that in person.

And, according to
the ratings,

the audience loved it, too.

- They did? Well...
- Mm-hmm.

Can't argue with numbers.

No. No, indeed.

[chuckles]
Right.

[chuckles]

- It's a lovely facility.
- Yeah, and thank you guys

so much for coming down.
It's just been great.

Penny, so lovely
to see you again,

and, Henry, such a pleasure
as always.

We'll see you Saturday, dear.
I'm rooting for you.

Oh, thank you.

- Bye-bye. Yeah.
- Bye-bye!

- [chuckles]
- Okay, listen, Bethany.

I don't want this to be
some sort of

weird competition
between us.

Game on.

Game on?
What is she? Nine?

Listen,

I know the old Jonathan
dumped you,

I'm talking about
the new Jonathan.

- Nathan?
- Call him up and tell him

you need him to go
to the party with you.

A party where he has to
pretend to be the man

I've been dating
for the past year.

It worked yesterday.
Why can't it work again?

Because it's a lie.

Do you know what he'd say
to me if he even knew

- I was considering this?
- Yeah, he'd say yes.

- What?
- Come--

Let me buy you a cup of coffee.
Come here.

Hmm. Your dad had an old,
metal percolator that he used

practically until it
fell apart.

[chuckles]

Probably made the best-tasting
coffee ever, though, right?

No, it was disgusting.
[chuckles]

That's just how we
did things back then.

When your dad and I started,
there was no internet.

There was no streaming sports
from around the world.

There was no
cable television.

- [chuckles]
- The baseball games

that were played
in the morning on the East Coast

would be over by the time
the people on the West Coast

were finishing
their breakfast.

Well, obviously the games
were over.

So a lot of stations would
broadcast the final scores.

But not your dad.

- Well, why not?
- Because he didn't want to

spoil the game so the fans
that were going to be watching

- that night.
- Okay.

So would you say
your dad was lying?

No, of course not.

He was just--he was just
delaying the information.

Exactly.
So, when the time is right,

Ariel, you can tell your
audience about you and Jonathan.

When the time is right.

But maybe not today.

Maybe not tomorrow.

Maybe not until you have that
syndication contract

- in your hand.
- I don't know, Carl.

I just--it seems wrong.

I've said my peace.

Maybe what you need now
is a second opinion.

You have got
to be kidding.

I know, I know.
And I will totally understand

if you don't want to do it,
but I promise

it'll just be this once more
and then never again

will I ever ask you
to do me--

Okay, let me get this
straight.

You're asking me
to reschedule

an incredibly important
presentation

for a new client
to go to a party?

Attended by some of the most
influential people

in the media business
in this city,

and for the second time
in as many days,

pretend to be the boyfriend
that dumped you,

and moved halfway
around the world

just so you can secure
a syndication contract

for your radio show?

What do I wear?

Help.

(Krista)
So you're going to pretend
to be Jonathan.

You guys are getting into
very weird territory here.

What? Me and Ariel?
I mean, really?

The two of us together?
[chuckles]

- Give me a break.
- You and Ariel have known

each other since college,
and you're trying to tell me

that neither one of you
has ever had

a romantic thought
about the other?

- Of course not.
- Ever?

- Never.
- Huh.

'Cause, you know,
things like that,

well, let's just say
it complicates friendships.

[chuckles]

Look, I appreciate
your concern, guys.

Honestly.

But you have nothing
to worry about.

Ariel and I are not
gonna fall in love.

Let's just hope those aren't
famous last words, buddy.

[chuckles]

- Hmm.
- [chuckles]

Lint.

- What?
- You got lint.

Fortunately, you're traveling
with the Boy Scout

of all drivers.

My motto,

"Always be prepared."

Oh.
[chuckles]

Right.
Thanks.

So you're Ms. Cookson's date
again today, huh?

Yeah.
Uh, more or less.

And you're sure
you're not the boyfriend?

Hi.

- Wow.
- You've seen this dress,

like, a million times.

Yeah, just never--

never like this.

Come on.
We're going to be late.

Oh, uh, I-I got it.
I got it.

- Ahem.
- What are you doing?

Doesn't Jonathan
open the door for you?

- I don't really remember.
- Well, I open the door

for all my dates.

Even pretend dates?

Especially pretend dates.

- Wow.
- Yeah.

Nice place.

I like a house
with it's own zip code.

All right, so, remember
what we talked about in the car?

That we've been dating
for over a year, and--

And I'm perfect.

Just be yourself,
but different.

- Okay, let's go.
- Wait.

- Hands.
- What?

Well, if we're
boyfriend/girlfriend,

we should be
holding hands, right?

- Yeah, right. Yeah.
- So?

(both) No.
- Like that?

- No.
- Like this.

No, no. No.

Do you want to linking
or cupped?

Linking.
Cupped seems too formal.

- Okay.
- Palm up or down?

- You go palm down.
- Okay.

Yeah.
Like that.

- All right.
- That--that works.

- Hmm.
- Wow.

Ariel, so glad
you could make it.

Henry, your home
is beautiful.

Oh, thank my wife for that.
[chuckles]

Penny's a stickler
for detail.

Everything has to be
just right or,

well, I should say everything
has to be just right.

Mm, yeah.

And you must be
the famous Jonathan.

Ah, you must be
Mr. Frazer.

Henry. Call me Henry.
Everybody does.

Penny and I are big fans
of Ariel's show,

and I guess that makes us
big fans of yours, too.

Well, I hope I can
live up to your expectations.

Come on in.
Grab yourselves a drink,

and I'll introduce you
to the board.

Okay. Yeah.
Henry, wow.

- Sir, here's a drink.
- Oh.

- Great. Thank you.
- Thank you.

So, Jonathan, what do you think
about this new

right-to-nondisclosure law
they passed earlier this year?

Uh, I haven't really
given it much thought.

I thought you'd have some
fairly strong opinions on it

- given that you're a lawyer.
- [chuckles]

- No, I'm not a lawyer.
- Cheers.

I'm a lawyer.
Um, I'm just not a lawyer

in that particular part
of the law that I practice.

I am more into
a non-nondisclosure type law

- that I practice.
- I'm not familiar with that--

Oh, look, there's Bethany.

- Oh, look, Bethany. Hey.
- Let's go say hi.

So there I was doing my show,
and suddenly the door

to the studio opened,
and in walks Henry

with a big smile
on his face.

Of course, I had no idea
who he was,

so I-I yelled at him,
and I was about to throw him

out of my studio,
when he says,

"Now I know why your show
is called Straight Talk."

[laughter]

- Ariel, you finally made it.
- Hi.

Everyone, I'd like for you
to meet Ariel Cookson.

Some of you might remember
her father, Richard,

legendary sportscaster
here in town.

- Hi.
- Hello.

- Hello.
- Pleased to meet you.

Ariel grew up in radio.

Her first on-air appearance
was what--when you were ten?

Well,
I was visiting my dad,

and when he was
out of the room,

I accidentally pressed
the microphone on.

[chuckles]
I think they heard my voice

from here to Des Moines.
[laughter]

Isn't it funny how
the children of famous people

always seem to get
a lucky break?

And the rest of us
just have to rely on talent

to make it in
this treacherous business?

[laughing]

Yeah.
Lucky Ariel.

Good thing
she didn't have to rely

on her B.A.
in Communications

or her Masters in Social
Psychology to get the job.

I'm sorry.
I don't believe we've met.

Is this the man
we've been hearing about

on your show
all these months, Ariel?

- Is this actually the real--
- Jonathan?

Is this Jonathan?
Well, of course it is.

Jonathan, I would like for you
to meet my wife Penny.

So lovely to meet you.

It is a pleasure,
Mrs. Frazer.

Oh!
Such manners.

Please call me Penny.
[chuckles]

Ariel,
you were right all along.

He is a Prince Charming
come to life, isn't he?

Aw.

Well, you won't mind if I
borrow him for a few minutes.

There's something
that I must ask you.

- Uh.
- I'll bring him back,

I promise.
[chuckles]

Take care of him.

Okay, everyone,
the bar is open,

the buffet is full.

Please make yourselves
at home,

and get to know these two
special guests, please.

Thank you.
[both chuckle]

Thank you so much,
Henry.

The first time I heard
your girlfriend

talk about it on the radio,
I thought,

"Penny, you absolutely must
experience this for yourself."

- Uh-huh.
- But no matter how hard

we try, I just am
simply not satisfied.

That's why I was very excited
when Henry told me

that you were going
to be here today,

I just knew that I could
count on you

to show me how
it's done.

- How what's done?
- Well, the cake, of course.

Your famous Argentinean
spicy chocolate torte.

The one that you made
for Ariel for her birthday.

The one you always make.

Oh, the cake!
Of course, yes.

Yes! Oh, my goodness.
Would you be a love

and please explain the recipe
to our cook?

He's very good.
We brought him over from Paris,

but he just can't seem
to quite get it.

Would you please?

You want me to
give him the recipe?

Yes.

It'll only take a minute.
I'll go and get him.

You stay right here.
Yes?

Okay.

(Fiona)
Demos never lie.

TSL and the PUR,
the day part, okay.

What does this mean,
exactly?

- To whom?
- Bethany.

She's average in the met cume,
but stands out in her core demo,

which skews older and male.

Bethany does okay.

Okay is not good enough.

What do you want
from me, Tiger?

Sorry. But, you know,
it's just I'm under

a lot of pressure lately.

Aren't we all?

Okay.
Well, thank you.

(Eric)
It's been a real banner year,
actually.

And we have new talent
coming in.

Both shows do very well
in their demographics.

And in terms of ratings,
they've been virtually tied

for most of the year.

Excuse me, Eric,
but I think the numbers

showed Romantically Speaking

doing a little bit better
than a tie.

Oh, those were in
the overnights, Ariel.

The week-to-week
tends to fluctuate,

but we'll have all those numbers
for you by the end of the month.

Excuse us?

I just want to introduce you
to somebody over here

if you don't mind.

I just want to
show you something over here.

It's really exciting.
You're gonna love this.

Um, it just--I just had to ask,
what was that about?

Self-preservation.

I didn't know
that you had chosen a side.

I'm on the station's
side, Ariel.

Whether it's your show
or Bethany's,

this syndication deal is worth
a lot of money for us.

I'd appreciate a little
cooperation if you don't mind.

- Oh.
- Hmm.

We have a problem.

- What now?
- It's about Jonathan's torte.

I told you it wasn't his.
He bought it.

I know.
That's the problem.

Oh. There you are.
Gaston is very busy.

So you'll have to come give him
the recipe in the kitchen.

- Come.
- Recipe?

- Yeah, um--
- Yes?

- Mm-mm. Nope.
- We can't tell you the recipe.

Because, um...

Because...

- Because it's a secret.
- A secret?

- Yeah.
- Yes.

It's an old, traditional
family secret-recipe thing.

Jonathan's sworn to secrecy.

On my mother's grave.

Oh, my goodness.
When did she pass?

Just last week,
Ariel said she lived in Miami.

I'm so sorry.

Well, she's not dead yet.

But, uh, we're gonna bury
her there.

Okay.

Well, I can't say
that I'm not disappointed.

I had hoped
to have a cake

at my charity auction
next weekend.

It's a very big event.

All the board members
will be there,

and I thought perhaps having
one of Jonathan's tortes

might be a reminder
of your show, Ariel.

It just might have been
that thing

that tipped the scales
in your favor.

But, alas...

- Penny?
- Oh, excuse me.

(Penny)
Coming, darling.

- Here she is.
- Sorry.

We planned and organized
this entire afternoon.

- Thank you.
[applause]

- Oh.
- Yeah.

Finally, I think I'd like
to hear from our special guests.

I'd like to hear them
say a couple of words.

So our first is
a wonderful young woman,

who manages to make
finance understandable,

even for
someone like me.

[laughter]

From Straight Talk
with Bethany,

here's the host,
Ms. Bethany Sloane.

[applause]

Thank you so much, Henry.

And thank you all for taking
the time to be here today.

Let's face it,
radio is a cutthroat business,

and this is
a competition.

But when you make
your final decision,

I would like to hope
it's not based

solely on ratings alone.

But also on the truth,
the honesty, and the integrity

that have been the hallmarks
of Straight Talk with Bethany

since it began
over five years ago.

- Thank you.
[applause]

Couldn't have said it
better myself, Bethany.

Thank you.

And now our other
candidate,

a special young woman who brings
her real-life relationship

experience
to work every day,

and thankfully for us,
she's not afraid to share it.

From Romantically Speaking,
Ariel Cookson.

[applause]

Whoo!

[sighs]

You know, Bethany was saying
that honesty and truth

is very important in radio,
and e's right.

They are.

They're important
in life too,

especially when we're talking
about relationships.

So I wanted to take
this opportunity

to set the record straight

about my boyfriend,
Jonathan.

You see, he's, uh...

- He's--
- He's gonna bake a cake!

[gasps]

Yep, at Mrs. Frazer's
special request,

my famous spicy Argentinean
chocolate torte.

And it will be available for the
charity auction next weekend,

courtesy of
Romantically Speaking,

and Miss Ariel Cookson.

[applause]

Oh, bravo!

(Henry)
That's great.
Oh, that's great.

Jonathan, can we get
a picture

for the website?

Yes. Yes.

- There you go.
[camera shutter clicking]

- Oh.
- How about a kiss?

- Oh, okay.
- Come on.

- Kiss, kiss!
- No, not that kind of kiss.

- A proper kiss. A real kiss.
- Oh, Henry, come on, now.

- Come on.
- Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss.

Okay.

[applause]

[Henry chuckles]

So how was the party?

(both)
About that kiss--

Ugh.
[chuckles awkwardly]

Okay, you first.

[chuckles]
Oh, no. I, um...

I was just gonna say
it felt really--

- Awkward.
- Right.

- Yeah.
- Awkward.

Yep.

Oh, so--so what
do we do now?

Well...

I guess we just
accept what happened

and move forward.

No, I meant
about the cake.

Yeah, that's what
I'm talking about...

the cake.

Accept what happened
with the cake and move forward.

Oh, but there--there must be
100 bakeshops in the city.

Yeah, and we will search
every one until we find it.

Don't worry.
Penny Frazer will get her cake.

Nathan, I don't know how to
thank you for everything today.

I just hope I was
a good-enough Jonathan for you.

That's all.

Better than the original.

Okay, I'll call you
tomorrow.

All right.

- Good night.
- Good night.

What?
No kiss good night?

What? No.
We're friends.

Right.

Friends.

[chuckles]

(Krista)
What if they're not pretending?

- Who?
- Nathan and Ariel.

What if they're
really falling for each other?

That is impossible.
You heard Nathan.

They are just friends,
nothing more.

I don't know.

I get the feeling
he wasn't being

completely honest
about how he really feels.

Sweetheart, we are
their best friends.

We would know
if something romantic

was going on between them.

Wouldn't we?

Well, they obviously
care about each other.

I think it'd be kind of sweet
if it became something more.

Yeah, well,
we also thought he and Sarah

were gonna be
something more too,

and look how
that turned out.

Oh, don't be silly.

Nathan and Ariel
are old friends.

They would never
hate each other.

Doesn't matter
what happened.

But what if they did?
We'd have to pick a side.

Yeah, you know what
that means.

What does it mean, Dave?

It means we could
potentially lose

one of our babysitters.

[laughing]
Don't be ridiculous.

And I'm--I'm gonna go
talk to him

and find out
what's really going on.

- Don't you dare!
- Mm.

They are adults,
and they have the right

to live their own lives,

and if that includes
falling in love,

then I think--
Oh!

Oh, is it time?

No.
[chuckles]

No.
No, but our child is

either going to be
a professional soccer player

or end up on Broadway.

- Ooh.
- Let me see.

- Oh, my goodness.
- I told you.

[breathes deeply]

[keys clacking]

[chuckles]

(Ariel)
Well, that's a question

poets have struggled
to answer for centuries.

Every love song
ever composed,

every great novel ever written
has wrestled with that.

Some people say
it's the central question

that defines us
as human beings.

(man on phone)
What are the signs?

Well, the signs--I mean, I don't
think there are any signs,

not in the traditional sense
at least.

I think one day
you just...

see that person
in a different light.

What may have started out
as a friendship

suddenly becomes
something else...

something deeper.

You find yourself at work,

so you're thinking about what
you're going to have for lunch,

and then wondering what
he's going to have for lunch,

and maybe you two
should have lunch together.

(man)
Is that how it was with you
and Jonathan?

Yes, of course.
It was just like that.

Thank you so much
for your call.

That's all the time
we have for today.

I want to thank everyone
out there who's listening

and everybody
who called in.

This has been
Romantically Speaking.

I'm your host,
Ariel Cookson,

and as my father
used to say,

"Your happiness
is up to you."

(man)
Stay tuned for more news
on the hour.

Up next,
Straight Talk with Bethany.

And we're out.

Another great show,
Ariel.

You are firing on all
eight cylinders this week.

Thanks, Carl.
It felt good.

That bit about poets,

that was, um--
it was poetic.

[both chuckling]

Yeah, well, I hope
my listeners think so.

Oh, any news
about the ratings this week?

Um, nothing that
I've heard,

but I'd be willing to bet
that they're up,

because, Ariel,
it's as if you've found

a new voice or something.

It's...

This wouldn't
have anything to do

with you and Nathan,
would it?

I don't know
what you're talking about.

Listen, Ariel,
you can't spend all these hours

with someone
in this tiny little room

and not know
a few things.

It seems to me that Jonathan
is a distant memory.

I wish he was, Carl,
but you heard me in there.

I'm lying to my listeners,

talking about Jonathan
as if we're still together,

and I'm doing it
for the worst possible reason--

ratings.

[sighs]

It'll be over
before you know it.

You'll see. You'll get
that syndication deal.

You'll go national,

and you'll be able to tell
all the truth you want.

I've called
every cake shop, bakeshop,

and dessert place in town.

Nobody's even heard of a spicy
Argentinean chocolate torte.

He bought it some place,
we just have to keep looking.

It's got to be out
there somewhere.

We're running
out of time.

I know, I know.

Let me call you back.

What?

[sighs]

- Okay, what are you doing?
- [sighs]

Management felt it was time
I had a new picture up.

Perfect.

Just a little higher
on the left.

Okay, does it have to be
that close to my father?

Hmm, you're right.

Martin, take him down
and move him to the end.

Oh, good.
You're both here.

I just got off the phone
with Henry Frazer.

He's made his decision?

Brace yourself, Ariel.

No, not yet, but--

So sorry.
Excuse me. Excuse me.

But he wanted me
to remind you

about his wife's charity
fund-raiser this weekend.

I know.
I'm supposed to send a cake.

Well, not just that.

All of Henry's board members
are supposed to be there.

The rumor is they're going
to officially announce

their choice
for the syndication deal.

Henry wants you both
to be there.

He thinks it'll be good
publicity for the launch.

Oh, and Mrs. Frazer wanted me
to remind you to bring Jonathan.

W-w-wait. What?

Well, it's a tennis tournament,
and you've always said

what a great tennis player
Jonathan is.

Now we get to see him
in action.

[clicks tongue]
Yeah.

[sighs]

If what I'm hearing about
my numbers this week is true,

you probably don't really need
to be there, anyway.

Yeah, thanks.

Hey, it's me again.

[inhales sharply]
I have more bad news.

Huh. I thought she and Jonathan
weren't together anymore.

What makes you say that?

Oh, well, uh,
at the live taping last week,

she introduced
this guy onstage,

but, uh, Carl said
it wasn't Jonathan.

So who was it?

[scoffs]
Beats me.

Carl just told me
to mind my own business.

[laughs]

[clears throat]

Probably shouldn't
have said that.

Don't be so hard
on yourself, Martin.

I think you said
just enough.

Ow!

- God.
- Nathan...

You got to keep your eye
on the ball, man.

You can't just stand there.

It's been ten years, okay?

I'm a little rough.
I got to loosen up.

I got this.
[grunting]

(Ariel)
Well, do you know
where I could find one?

Oh, okay.

Well, thank you,
anyway.

Good-bye.

- Still no luck?
- Nothing. Ugh.

I'm beginning to think
he has the cakes

imported from Argentina.

Let me ask you something.

- Shoot.
- Is there more to this

than you just pretending
to be Jonathan?

- What's that supposed to mean?
- Have you two ever...

Kissed?

[laughs]
Yeah, lots of times.

I'm not talking about
a peck-on-the-cheek kiss.

I'm talking about a full-on
kiss kiss.

Well, once,

at the Frazers' party,
but it was just for publicity.

Uh-huh.

And how was it?

It was...

It was...

I thought so.

Just stop, okay?

I would never let anything like
that happen with Nathan, anyway.

He has a horrible
track record.

Do you know how many
relationships he's had?

It doesn't matter how many
relationships she's had.

The only man who really counts
in her eyes is Richard Cookson.

Her dad?

She looks up to that guy
so much,

she never bothered to look
around to see anybody else.

You don't want to end up
like Jonathan.

Wait. I thought
he broke up with her.

Out of self-defense.

I think he couldn't keep
his balance

on top of that pedestal anymore,
and he just decided to give up.

Look, it's not as if...

We're falling in love
or anything.

We're just good friends.

That's all.

(Ariel)
Since we can't buy the cake,
we're gonna make it.

(Krista)
I've got it.

Right here--

spicy Argentinean
chocolate torte,

the whole recipe.

Well, okay, it looks--
it looks kind of complicated.

Yeah, um, neither of us
are very good in the kitchen.

- You know?
- Uh-huh.

(Krista)
Oh, it'll be easy.

All the ingredients are listed
right here.

- It won't take us long at all.
[cell phone rings]

Oh.

Hello?

Uh-huh. What?
That was today?

What time?
I'll be right there.

I totally forgot.

I have a checkup
at the doctor's office

this afternoon
that I can't miss.

I'm so sorry, guys.
I got to run.

Um, but, what are
we supposed to do?

We need the cake
for tomorrow.

Just follow the recipe.

You'll be fine.

[both laugh]

Wow.

[cell phone beeps]

Hi.
That was perfect.

Yeah,
thanks for calling.

It's a long story.
I'll tell you later.

Okay, bye.

[cell phone beeps]

Okay, we can do this.

Yeah, right.
We'll just follow the recipe.

Yeah.
How hard can it be?

Right.

[The Archies' Sugar Sugar]

♪ ♪

What's a double boiler?

Oh--
[coughs]

♪ ♪

♪ You are my candy girl ♪

♪ And you got me wanting you ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Honey ♪

♪ Oh, sugar, sugar ♪

♪ You are my candy girl ♪

♪ And you got me wanting you ♪

Sugar.

Sugar.

Sugar.

(Nathan)
One, two, three, four, five.

♪ I just can't believe the
wonder of this feeling too ♪

♪ I just can't believe
it's true ♪

♪ Oh, sugar ♪

♪ Oh, honey, honey ♪

Nathan!
Oh, my gosh!

- Nathan!
- What?

[shouting]

Okay.

- [shouting]
- Oh, no!

Oh, no!
I got it!

- Whoa.
- Whoa.

♪ Oh, honey ♪

[clears throat]

♪ ♪

♪ You are my candy girl ♪

♪ And you got me wanting you ♪

Hi, honey.

Hi.

You're home early.

Apparently, not early enough.
Come on.

You're getting really good
at this.

Thank you.
So are you.

(Dave)
I have a feeling you had
something to do with this.

[chuckling]

I guess we might have to find
a new babysitter.

You have some chocolate.

[chuckles]

Aw.
[giggles]

(Bethany)
And that's all the time
we have for today.

I hope I've talked some sense
into a few of our callers

and maybe the rest of my
listeners, while we're at it.

This has been Straight Talk
with Bethany Sloane.

Until next time, remember,
it's your money.

Respect it,
or somebody else will.

And we're out.

Okay, so I went back
through her show archives--

Thank you, Carl.
Good show.

That'll be all.

Okay, so I searched
through her files,

and she mentions
Jonathan's name

about 682 times,
give or take.

What about his job, Martin?

Well, I-I haven't found
that yet.

You know,
I have to admit...

doing this makes me feel
a little dirty.

You want a career
in the radio business?

Yeah.
More than anything.

Mm.

Then keep looking.

What, did you forget
something?

No.
No, it's just...

Well, if Henry and his cronies
make their decision today,

this is the last time
I get to play Jonathan.

You say that
like it's a bad thing.

No.
No, not at all.

It's just, um...

What happens next?

Well, I don't know
about you,

but I can't wait
to find out.

[indistinct chatter]

Hello, and welcome, everyone.
Welcome. Welcome.

Thank you so much for coming out
on this glorious day

to support
Penny Frazer's Children's Fund.

Thank you.
Thank you.

Thank you so much.

Now, listen, boys and girls,

not only do we have
our terrific tennis tournament

and our savvy silent auction
this year,

but we are so fortunate
and lucky to have with us

two celebrity experts.

Ariel Cookson.
Yes, Thank you.

Whoo!

And Bethany Sloane.

And they're here today
to answer your questions

about relationships
and finance.

But, of course,
it comes at a price.

[laughter]

Each question
costs you $100.

Is it tax-deductible?

Well, I don't know.

Why don't we ask the expert.
Bethany?

- Well--
- Uh, wait, wait, wait.

Is this one gonna cost me?

Why, yes, Clint.
Yes, it is.

Then my question
is for Ariel.

Oh, well, all right.

Go get that $100 bill
from him right away.

Thank you, Clint.
Everyone, thank you.

What's your question?

Well, I've been dating a gal
for two years now,

and I've asked her
to marry me three times.

But every time I ask her,
she says,

"Ask me again next year."

You see, my trouble
is that I'm getting so old

that I'm afraid
I won't live long enough

to get her to say yes.

(crowd)
Aw.

What am I gonna do?

Oh, Clint, you stop it.
You're not too old at all.

- Sorry. You go ahead.
- It's okay.

Uh, well, that's
a really good question.

You see...

I think that love
is worth waiting for.

And it doesn't always happen
when you want or expect it to.

Sometimes it's hidden right
in front of our eyes, but...

it always seems
to find a way,

no matter how long it takes.

(crowd)
Aw.

- Oh, my God.
- Aw.

Lovely answer, Ariel.
Thank you so much.

[sighs]
Okay, next question.

Anyone?
Zoe. Zoe, go ahead.

My question is for Bethany.

Here you go.

Does the FDCPA 15 USC 1692
e-law apply to statements

made during litigation
which are later determined

to be false?

You mean like
in a foreclosure action?

Yes.

Yes, it applies.

Thank you.

[laughs]
Whoo, well, what a relief.

- My goodness.
[laughter]

Next question, anyone?

For Ariel perhaps?

Can I ask a question?

Well, yes, for $100,
you can ask it.

Those of you who don't know,
this is Jonathan.

This handsome man--
this is Ariel's boyfriend.

You may have heard
about him on her show.

Well, I don't know,
young man.

What kind of question
are you going to ask?

Uh, well, it's
a pretty simple one.

Do you believe
in true love?

I do now.

(crowd)
Aw.

[chuckles]

(Penny)
Aw.

- I think I'm crying.
[laughter]

Oh, my goodness,
while I recover,

if anyone has a question
for Bethany...

I can't believe it.

We raised over $5,000 already

just that question-and-answer
session alone.

I'll tell you,
a part of it is you guys.

You're so adorable together.

Ariel, let me tell you,
if it were up to me,

you'd have
that syndication contract

in your hot little hand
already.

Penny, do you know
something we don't?

Oh, I wish I did.

Secret ballots,
nobody knows anything.

Henry did promise to make
the announcement

after the tennis final,
so fingers crossed.

Okay, Ariel, I'll show you
where you can change.

And, Jonathan, the tennis courts
are just over there.

Okay, see you in a bit.

- All right.
- See you out there.

Nathan?

- Nathan!
- Aah! Oh, Sarah!

- Hi.
- What are you doing here?

Oh, Daddy's on
Penny Frazer's charity board.

We come every year.

But what are you doing here,

and why is everyone
calling you Jonathan?

- Shh!
- What?

Did you just shush me?

Yeah.
We need to talk.

[cell phone clicking]

- Come on.
- Okay.

- Right down here.
- Okay.

- Right. Now...
- What?

Let me explain.

Are you just doing this
to make me jealous?

No. No, no,
it's for Ariel, okay?

You remember
my friend Ariel?

Yes, from the radio.
I know.

But why are you pretending
to be her boyfriend?

Because the real one
dumped her, okay?

And I was just--
I was in the wrong place

at the wrong time, and then,
suddenly, all of a sudden,

everyone thought
I was Jonathan.

And she's just caught
in this big lie,

and I'm trying
to help her out.

You're just trying
to help her.

Right.

So it's not really true.

You're not actually
her boyfriend.

- No, not really.
- [sighs]

Nathan...

Oh, that is the best news
I've heard all week.

- [laughs]
- I'm sorry, what?

Oh, Ariel, aren't you cute
in your little outfit?

Thanks.

If you're looking
for your boyfriend,

he's just around
the corner there.

Okay.

Oh, when I saw you standing
there across the crowd,

I just--I realized something,
you know...

something really important.

And what was that?

I realized how special

our time together
really was.

You know,
I think maybe...

[giggles]

Those were the best days
of my life.

[giggles]

Sarah, we went
on four dates together.

Yeah.

You stood me up
on the last one.

- Mm-hmm.
- Then when I called you,

your phone
had been disconnected.

Oh, yeah.

I was going through
some weird stuff, too.

But I got a cycle therapist.

Don't you mean
"psychotherapist"?

Mm. Mm-mm. Nope.

A cycle therapist.

She runs a spin class
at my gym,

and she is really
trying to help me

focus more on myself.

Wait a minute.
Wait a minute!

No, we can't stop, Nathan.
Get over here!

- No!
- We can't waste any more time!

We've already wasted
enough time already!

No. Stop it!

- Would you just stop?
- [gasps]

Look, Sarah, I think
you are a really...

really nice girl.

Thank you.

But...

But I'm in love
with someone else.

[laughs]

What?

Who?

(woman on PA)
The tennis tournament will be
starting in five minutes.

All contestants please meet
at the center court.

Thank you.

Look...

The tennis tournament will be
starting in five minutes...

- I-I got to go.
- Mm-mm.

- Mm-mm.
- Okay?

- Let go. No, okay.
- No.

I'll see you later.
Let go.

Please let go.
All right.

I'll call you.

Hello.

(woman on PA)
On the home team,
let's welcome our hosts,

Penny and Henry Frazer.

[cheers and applause]

Good luck.

Thank you.
Good luck.

And our visitors today,

Ariel Cookson
and her boyfriend, Jonathan.

- Yeah, Jonathan.
- Go, Jonathan.

[cheers and applause]

Glad you could pull
yourself away.

- Huh?
- Let's play!

All right.

(woman on PA)
Let the tournament begin.

Ugh!

Got it.

(woman on PA)
Wow. Ariel's on fire.

Oh!

And 15-love
to the visitors.

You know,
you can let me hit a few.

I'm not
completely helpless.

Oh, I'm sorry. I guess I'm just
not used to being able

to count on people.

What's that
supposed to mean?

Really?
The moment my back is turned,

you're off getting friendly
with some girl in the courtyard.

- Wait, you saw that?
-Yes, I did.

And not a moment too soon.

Ah.

[knock at door]
- Come.

What's up, tiger?

Fiona, hi.

Um, here's the transcripts.

Find what
you were looking for?

Well, no.

It happens.

- I think I'm stuck.
- Go on.

Well, I want to learn more
about Ariel's boyfriend.

I mean, people are crazy
for him.

- I want to know why.
- What do you want to know?

Well, his last name,
for starters.

Loria.
Jonathan Loria.

- He's a Loria.
- How do you know that?

Ariel posted it
in her show's FAQ.

Huh.

The only man that can live up
to your ridiculous standards

- of perfection is your father!
- Got it.

You leave my father
out of this.

I will if you will.
[yelling]

(woman on PA)
And go, Jonathan.

Okay, I'm calling it.

- Yeah!
- Hey!

- That's it. It's over.
- No. No.

That was--
I wasn't looking.

(woman on PA)
And the winners
are Ariel and Jonathan,

in what might be
the fastest game

in the history of our event.

- Good job, Ariel. Yeah.
- Thank you.

- Thank you so much.
- Nice job. Yeah.

Good game.

(Nathan)
Would you wait a minute?

- Please?
- Never mind, Nathan.

I don't want to keep you
from anything.

You just called me Nathan.

Yeah, what difference
does it make?

Nathan, Jonathan--
they both left me.

Stop, okay?
Would you just stop?

The girl you saw me with,
that was Sarah.

Sarah, like,
"It didn't work out" Sarah?

Exactly.

Well, it looked like
it worked out after all.

No, it didn't.
That's the point.

She wanted more, and...

I told her no.

Didn't look like
you were saying no very loudly.

What do you want me to do?

Tell her to get lost
and just walk away from her?

Then I'd really be
Jonathan.

Sorry.
I shouldn't have said that.

Well...

I shouldn't have said
what I said either.

So...

what do we do now?

Maybe this whole
boyfriend-girlfriend thing

isn't such a good idea.

Yeah.

Maybe we should ju
stay friends.

Sure. Friends.

Well, this isn't awkward
at all, is it?

(man on PA)
Will everyone please gather
by the fountain

for a very special
announcement?

And now
it gives me great pleasure

to make a very special
announcement

on behalf of the
Amherst Communications Group.

As you all know,
over the past two weeks,

we have been watching

our two very special guests
today very closely

or, more specifically,
I should say,

listening to them
very closely.

[laughter]

And I'm very happy
to announce

that after some deep
consideration from our board,

they have made
their decision.

Bethany and Ariel are both
extraordinary young ladies,

and it was a tough choice
to make.

So, without further ado,
the Amherst Communications Group

proudly welcomes
to the family, Ms....

Ariel Cookson.

Oh, my gosh.

Get on up there.

- Congratulations.
- Congratulations.

- So well-deserved.
- Thank you.

- Wow.
- And bring that handsome

boyfriend of yours
with the sledgehammer

forehand up here, please.

[laughter]

Let's get some photos.

Board, why don't you come up
here, please?

- Yeah.
- Thank you guys so much.

(woman)
There you go.

(man)
Cheese.

[camera shutter clicking]

- All right?
- All right.

(Henry)
Okay, and now you two together.

Thank you, board.

[camera shutter clicking]

(all)
Aw.

[applause]

(Penny)
Congratulations to Ariel!

Romantically Speaking!

[cell phone rings, beeps]

[sighs]
Martin, this better
be important.

I am not in the mood.

But I've got
some good news.

I found him.

I found Jonathan.

Where?

[cell phone beeping]

[cell phone beeps]

[sighs]

- Good night, buddy.
- Good night.

(Richard on radio)
But if our team
is gonna succeed,

if we're gonna go
to the championship,

if we're gonna bring home
the pennant,

we have to stop playing
the game as if we might lose.

We have to start playing
as if it's a foregone conclusion

that we're gonna win.

This is Richard Cookson, and
that's The Way The Ball Bounces,

you're listening to KQRY,
and we'll be right back.

I remember that one.

Oh, my gosh.

He was fired up all day.

Yeah. He really was the best,
wasn't he?

What are you still
doing here, anyway?

I heard from Eric you got
the contract.

Congratulations.

- Thanks.
- Thanks?

That's it? I figured you'd be
out with Nathan celebrating.

I don't need Nathan
to celebrate.

I can do it alone,
without him.

- You two had a fight?
- No, it wasn't a fight.

It's just things didn't work
out, that's all.

(Richard on radio)
Hi. Welcome to the program.

This is KQRY Radio,
and you're listening

to The Way The Ball Bounces,
and--

I was listening to that.

No, you weren't.
You were hiding in it.

[laptop beeps]

This is Richard Cooskon--
Ah.

This is Richard Cookson,

and you are listening
to The Ball--

I mean, you're listening--

You're listening
to The Ball That--

[muttering]

This is Richard Cookson,

and you're listening
to That's The Way--

No, it's called--

it's called
The Way The Ball Bounces, okay.

Okay, here we go.
You're listening to The Way--

[laptop beeps]

Okay, with last night's scores,

we've got Braves slapped
the Cougars 9 to--

What, "slapped"?
Who wrote this stupid copy?

Well, it's garbage.
I'm not reading this.

Get him in here.

The Way The Ball Bounces
is sponsored by--

Will you stop
moving around in there?

You're distracting me,
all right?

How am I supposed to read
this idiotic ad

if you keep wandering
around in there like a zombie?

[laptop beeps]

What are you doing?

I thought
you should hear this.

What? That my father
needed a few takes

to get something right?

Exactly.

Even Richard Cookson
was human.

Your dad was
a great guy, Ariel,

but he wasn't perfect.

And no matter how hard
you tried to make him that,

neither was Jonathan.

Now, maybe Nathan
has a few faults too,

but you shouldn't let the fact
that he's not the perfect guy

keep you from being
the perfect couple.

[cell phone rings]

[cell phone beeps]

Hi, Dave.

Okay.

[cell phone beeps]

[both whispering
indistinctly]

- Hey.
- Hi.

Look.
Look, look, Zachary,

it's your Auntie Ariel
coming to visit.

Oh, my gosh,
he is beautiful.

Just like his mom.

- [chuckles]
- Oh, you guys.

(Nathan)
Am I too late?

Did he already apply
for college?

[both laugh]

Well, you know, we're having
a hard time choosing.

(Dave)
I'm leaning towards Yale.

- Hi.
- Hi.

[baby cooing]

Can I hold him?

- Oh, oh, sure.
- Yeah, come on.

- Sure, sure, sure.
- Just, uh...

Okay. Just hold
the head, okay?

All right. I got you.

Wow. Okay. There.
Oh. Ooh.

Nathan told us you got
the syndication deal.

Congratulations.

Thanks. I mean, it's nothing
compared to this, though.

- Oh.
- I'm so happy for you guys.

You got a little grip
on you.

Your dad's gonna have you
playing tennis

before you can even walk.

- That's right.
- [chuckles]

You might even be able to beat
your Aunt Ariel.

But be careful.

I think she cheats.

[baby cooing]

[car door opens,
car beeping]

I was wondering if it'd be okay
if I took the rest

of the night off,

unless, of course,
you have plans with Nathan.

What?

With Nathan.
Do you have any plans tonight?

No. And for the record,
my plans don't always

have to involve Nathan.

It's not like he's my boyfriend
or anything.

Could've fooled me.

[vehicle departing]

Good night.

[cell phone beeping]

[cell phone rings]

- Ariel, hi.
- Hi.

Um, I need to talk
with you

about tomorrow.

Okay.

I have been thinking
about what I did

and how I put success
ahead of everything else.

Well, everyone in this
conversation is guilty of that.

But I let it push me
into doing things

that I knew in my heart
weren't right.

And I was your willing
accomplice.

I mean, I still am,
I guess.

That's why I called.

Um...

tomorrow I'm going on the air
to set things straight.

I just wanted to give you
a heads-up.

It's the right thing to do.

Love you.

Have a good night.

[cell phone beeps]

[sighs]

[dog barking]

Bethany?

Hello, Mrs. Frazer.
Is your husband home?

[exhales sharply]

[sighs]

I don't like to do this.

But I felt,
given your investment,

you should know the truth.

[keys clack]

[applause]

Oh, there she is.
Hey!

- Congratulations.
- Oh, thank you so much.

Oh, look at this.
Look at this.

[cork pops,
laughter]

[line trilling]

- Hello?

(Jonathan)
Yeah, I'm here.
I can hear you, Bethany.

Oh, hold on
just a minute, please.

Henry, Penny, there's someone
I'd like you to meet...

The real Jonathan.

Hello. Hi, um--

Bethany,
what's going on here?

I thought you said Ariel
was gonna be there.

Hello, and welcome once again
to Romantically Speaking.

I'm your host,
Ariel Cookson.

And before we take
the first call,

I have a confession to make.

[sighs]
I call myself
a relationship expert.

It's how I make a living.

But the thing is...

I'm a fraud.

[sighs]

I've been presenting myself
as someone

who has this perfect
relationship

with this perfect guy, but...

I've been lying.

You've all heard me talk
about Jonathan,

how he's this amazing man
with a wonderful career,

a great personality,
incredible talent,

and a killer chocolate cake.

Well, about two weeks ago,
Jonathan dumped me,

and it was my fault..

Because even though
he's a very nice guy,

he really isn't all those things
I said he was,

and I made him think
he had to be.

The truth is he didn't even
bake that famous cake for me.

He bought it.

Anyway, that's when my friend
Nathan came in the picture.

The audience at the live remote
saw us together

and assumed he was Jonathan,
and I...

Well, every time I kept trying
to tell the truth,

something seemed to get
in the way.

And to be quite honest,
that something was ambition.

It was wrong, and I know it.

I just want to say I'm sorry
to all of you out there

for letting you down.

I'm also sorry
to Mr. Frazer and the board.

They trusted me and gave me
an amazing opportunity.

I will totally understand

if they want to rethink
their offer.

And finally, I want to say

I'm sorry to Nathan.

I'm always telling you
listeners to keep looking

and you'll find true love.

Well...

mine was right there
in front of me all along.

And while he may not be
the perfect guy,

for a while there,
we were perfect together.

As my father always said,
your happiness is up to you,

and I guess
that's true in a way.

But I think I've learned
that it's not such a bad thing

to share that happiness
with somebody that you love.

We'll be right back.

[equipment clicks off]

Well, at least she had
the good sense to own up to it.

Did Ariel know that you
were coming here today?

No. She didn't know anything
about this.

I see.

[clears throat]

Well, given the situation...

there really is only
one course of action.

The contract stands.

What?

I agree with my husband.

That young woman showed
more integrity and honesty

with that speech
of hers than you,

with your sordid little attempt
at backstabbing,

will ever be able
to imagine.

Amherst Communications
is proud of the association

with Ariel Cookson,

and I hope it lasts
for a very long time.

Good day, Ms. Sloane.

- But I--
- It is too bad, though.

We were actually
considering you

for a syndication slot
down the road,

but now I guess we'll have to
start looking all over again.

You can show
yourself out, yes?

[sighs]

What's she doing
in there?

Telling the truth,
I guess.

We've had over 200 phone calls
since she started.

I was afraid of that.

Afraid?
Are you kidding me?

They love her.
We've had people calling in

offering sympathy,
congratulations, advice.

We've even had half a dozen
marriage proposals.

This is the best response
we've ever had to her show.

Whatever she's doing in there,
tell her to keep it up.

Good, 'cause we have a very
special call for her right now.

Welcome back
to Romantically Speaking.

I'm your host,
Ariel Cookson.

And we have someone
on the line from--

It doesn't say where he's
calling from.

Go ahead, caller.

(Nathan on phone)
Hi, Ariel. I love your show.

My question is about
a situation I'm having

with a girl I know.

She's very special to me, and
we've been together a long time,

but I want to take
our relationship

to the next level.

All right. And what's stopping
you from doing that?

Well, it doesn't seem
like much,

but it's just
one little word, really.

One word.

See, we always tell each other
"love you,"

you know, when we say good-bye
or something.

"Love you."

But we never say,
"I love you."

Just once, I'd like to hear her
say the whole thing.

- [sighs]
- You think that's silly?

No, not at all.

Maybe she's waiting for you
to say it first.

You think so?

Why don't you try it?

Okay, I will.

Nathan.

The girl on the radio told me
I should just come out

and say it,
so I'm going to.

I love you.

I love you too.

It's about time.

You've been listening
to Romantically Speaking

with your host,
Ariel Cookson.

Tune in again tomorrow, folks,
and remember,

Your happiness
is up to you.

[equipment clicks off]