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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,100 --> 00:00:04,340 CHURCH BELL RINGS 2 00:00:08,180 --> 00:00:09,780 Uncle Mirth, wait! 3 00:00:12,260 --> 00:00:13,420 They're here to help you. 4 00:00:19,740 --> 00:00:24,380 Uncle Mirth. Please stop! They've got me! Don't hurt him. 5 00:00:24,420 --> 00:00:25,420 Get off! 6 00:00:27,860 --> 00:00:31,260 How could you? I'm so sorry, but you need help. 7 00:00:33,580 --> 00:00:36,220 Judas! I'll see you rot in hell for this! 8 00:01:14,620 --> 00:01:16,780 Are you sure you can manage that? 9 00:01:16,820 --> 00:01:20,060 I'm not completely useless. 10 00:01:20,100 --> 00:01:21,260 Well, if you say so. 11 00:01:23,300 --> 00:01:24,740 Father Brown... 12 00:01:26,100 --> 00:01:27,580 It's from Uncle Mirth. 13 00:01:27,620 --> 00:01:29,220 He's been released. 14 00:01:29,220 --> 00:01:31,820 So he's finally regained his sanity. 15 00:01:31,860 --> 00:01:34,700 And hopefully forgiven me. 16 00:01:34,740 --> 00:01:37,140 He's invited me to his welcome home party. 17 00:01:37,180 --> 00:01:39,140 Well, after last time, I'd stay well away. 18 00:01:39,180 --> 00:01:41,380 He's absolutely barking. 19 00:01:41,420 --> 00:01:44,060 Always insisting on people calling him Uncle Mirth. 20 00:01:44,060 --> 00:01:46,260 Well, that's just his old stage name. 21 00:01:49,980 --> 00:01:51,780 Sorry, Mrs McCarthy. 22 00:01:51,780 --> 00:01:52,940 Not terribly hungry. 23 00:01:56,460 --> 00:01:58,300 What's the matter with you? Guilt. 24 00:01:59,740 --> 00:02:02,740 About the part he played in having Uncle Mirth committed. 25 00:02:02,780 --> 00:02:04,700 They were very close. 26 00:02:04,700 --> 00:02:08,420 Father Brown, you old bloodhound... Henry! 27 00:02:08,420 --> 00:02:11,100 How are you? Oh, touch of gout, 28 00:02:11,100 --> 00:02:13,660 kidney stones, pickled liver, dodgy ticker. 29 00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:16,300 But apart from that, a picture of health! 30 00:02:17,900 --> 00:02:22,900 Hello, hello, hello. Who's this? Lady Felicia Montague. 31 00:02:24,300 --> 00:02:25,860 Uncle Mirth's brother. 32 00:02:25,900 --> 00:02:28,940 Ah. I hope your sense of humour isn't as dark as his. 33 00:02:28,980 --> 00:02:31,220 Well, I did write his signature song. 34 00:02:32,420 --> 00:02:34,820 # I'm loony, hooky, kooky, loopy, 35 00:02:34,860 --> 00:02:36,220 # I'm a crackpot 36 00:02:36,260 --> 00:02:38,420 BOTH: # Of the Empire! # 37 00:02:38,420 --> 00:02:42,100 Marvellous. I always found his ventriloquist's dummy rather creepy. 38 00:02:42,140 --> 00:02:43,260 Ooh! Me too. 39 00:02:44,780 --> 00:02:47,820 Looks like we're going to the same party, Father. 40 00:02:49,260 --> 00:02:50,260 Snap! 41 00:02:52,100 --> 00:02:53,100 Yes... 42 00:02:54,380 --> 00:02:57,140 Surely you're not going to the party? 43 00:02:57,180 --> 00:02:58,780 Why not? 44 00:02:58,820 --> 00:03:01,580 Well, after all that's happened... 45 00:03:01,580 --> 00:03:04,420 it just wouldn't be right. 46 00:03:04,420 --> 00:03:05,300 History. 47 00:03:06,540 --> 00:03:07,740 The best brother won. 48 00:03:09,380 --> 00:03:10,380 You chose me. 49 00:03:12,420 --> 00:03:14,780 But Uncle Mirth may still be very fragile. 50 00:03:14,780 --> 00:03:16,900 How many more times? 51 00:03:16,900 --> 00:03:19,060 His name's Julius. 52 00:03:19,060 --> 00:03:19,900 Sorry. 53 00:03:21,580 --> 00:03:24,300 But since his breakdown, he hasn't seen us together. 54 00:03:28,260 --> 00:03:29,820 You just want to rub his nose in it. 55 00:03:31,740 --> 00:03:32,940 Well, 56 00:03:32,940 --> 00:03:34,740 I won't be a part of it. 57 00:03:34,780 --> 00:03:37,100 Pack a bag. Mortimer... 58 00:03:38,500 --> 00:03:39,740 It's not a request. 59 00:03:45,340 --> 00:03:46,900 I want you with me. 60 00:03:56,900 --> 00:03:58,460 We leave in ten minutes, darling. 61 00:04:02,180 --> 00:04:03,860 Despite my initial doubts, 62 00:04:03,860 --> 00:04:08,140 I think putting him in that place was what he needed. 63 00:04:08,140 --> 00:04:10,100 He was completely burnt out. 64 00:04:11,940 --> 00:04:13,100 Did you visit him often? 65 00:04:14,460 --> 00:04:17,820 Oh. Most days. Your other brother? 66 00:04:17,860 --> 00:04:21,420 Mortimer. Sir Mortimer now. Oh! 67 00:04:21,460 --> 00:04:24,060 Never set foot in the place. 68 00:04:24,060 --> 00:04:26,500 Uncle Mirth mentioned an older sister. 69 00:04:28,060 --> 00:04:32,100 Left when we were children, abroad somewhere. 70 00:04:32,140 --> 00:04:34,420 No, I was the only family to visit. 71 00:04:36,420 --> 00:04:38,140 Oh, almost forgot. 72 00:04:41,260 --> 00:04:42,580 A proper drink, Father? 73 00:04:44,340 --> 00:04:47,460 A bit early, even for me. 74 00:04:47,500 --> 00:04:49,100 Never too early. 75 00:04:49,140 --> 00:04:50,980 Never too late. 76 00:04:53,820 --> 00:04:57,420 Port is bottled poetry. 77 00:05:03,540 --> 00:05:05,940 After my first visit, he wouldn't see me. 78 00:05:07,500 --> 00:05:10,620 Well, in the last few weeks, he did mention you. Did he? 79 00:05:11,860 --> 00:05:13,460 Said he was sorry for upsetting you. 80 00:05:16,740 --> 00:05:18,540 And that you did the right thing. 81 00:05:26,500 --> 00:05:28,860 CLAXON 82 00:05:32,580 --> 00:05:34,380 Sorry, honey, did I startle you? 83 00:05:34,420 --> 00:05:36,100 You could've killed me. 84 00:05:37,460 --> 00:05:38,980 It's Jacob, isn't it? 85 00:05:38,980 --> 00:05:41,460 You interviewed me for Uncle Mirth's biography. 86 00:05:44,380 --> 00:05:45,980 You're the radio producer. 87 00:05:45,980 --> 00:05:47,860 So you're going to his party too? 88 00:05:47,900 --> 00:05:49,020 Yeah. 89 00:05:49,020 --> 00:05:52,020 Well, park your seat. I'll give you a ride. 90 00:06:01,700 --> 00:06:04,460 So, how's the biography going? 91 00:06:04,460 --> 00:06:06,460 I'm hoping to pick it up again now that he's out. 92 00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:08,500 Don't hold your breath. 93 00:06:08,540 --> 00:06:12,340 You do know his mother and sister both had...problems. 94 00:06:14,300 --> 00:06:15,820 How did you know that? 95 00:06:15,860 --> 00:06:19,700 Oh, men always tell me everything. Can't think why. 96 00:06:21,460 --> 00:06:24,940 Sorry about the bare feet. Can't drive in heels. 97 00:06:32,420 --> 00:06:35,340 See you at the party, Father. Bye, Henry. 98 00:06:35,340 --> 00:06:37,980 # I'm a crackpot of the Empire 99 00:06:37,980 --> 00:06:41,620 # Mad as a hatter! 100 00:06:41,620 --> 00:06:44,740 ♪ I'm loony, hooky, kooky, loopy... ♪ 101 00:06:44,780 --> 00:06:45,980 Oh, hello again. 102 00:06:45,980 --> 00:06:48,300 ♪ I'm a crackpot of the Empire... ♪ 103 00:06:48,340 --> 00:06:49,700 Thank you so much(!) 104 00:06:49,740 --> 00:06:51,740 HE LAUGHS 105 00:06:55,100 --> 00:06:57,780 Help! Someone! 106 00:06:57,780 --> 00:06:59,740 HE GASPS 107 00:07:01,500 --> 00:07:02,900 Are you all right? 108 00:07:04,940 --> 00:07:07,100 SHE SCREAMS 109 00:07:17,700 --> 00:07:20,420 With all his millions, he buys a dump like this? 110 00:07:22,060 --> 00:07:23,260 Last time I interviewed him, 111 00:07:23,300 --> 00:07:26,260 he said he wanted to build a centre for music hall memorabilia. 112 00:07:32,620 --> 00:07:34,780 Sorry, thought you needed a helping hand. 113 00:07:37,460 --> 00:07:39,260 Maybe he'll finish it now he's back. 114 00:07:44,100 --> 00:07:46,180 DISTANT, EXAGGERATED LAUGHING 115 00:07:46,180 --> 00:07:48,820 What's that? Uncle Mirth? 116 00:07:48,860 --> 00:07:51,740 EXAGGERATED LAUGHING CONTINUES 117 00:07:56,780 --> 00:07:57,900 In the pocket. 118 00:07:57,900 --> 00:08:01,460 EXAGGERATED LAUGHING 119 00:08:01,500 --> 00:08:03,820 Looks like Uncle Mirth's been playing a joke on us. 120 00:08:09,060 --> 00:08:11,620 It's addressed to someone called Father Brown. 121 00:08:13,780 --> 00:08:16,220 He was very jolly when he left. 122 00:08:16,220 --> 00:08:19,460 Lady Felicia said he was holding his chest and struggling to breathe 123 00:08:19,460 --> 00:08:20,940 when he collapsed. 124 00:08:20,980 --> 00:08:22,780 Henry wasn't in the best of shape. 125 00:08:24,220 --> 00:08:25,300 And a big drinker. 126 00:08:26,860 --> 00:08:30,900 So, "Fat alcoholic dies of natural causes." 127 00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:34,340 Nice! 128 00:08:37,660 --> 00:08:39,100 And...simple. 129 00:08:40,180 --> 00:08:43,180 Just the way I like it. Sergeant! 130 00:08:43,180 --> 00:08:46,140 Father, are you all right? 131 00:08:46,180 --> 00:08:47,940 Yes. 132 00:08:47,980 --> 00:08:50,340 Poor Henry. You're upset. 133 00:08:50,340 --> 00:08:54,060 Now, maybe going to that party is not such a good idea. 134 00:08:54,060 --> 00:08:56,900 I need to tell Uncle Mirth about his brother. 135 00:08:56,940 --> 00:09:00,780 Well, if that's the case, I'm going with you. Moral support. 136 00:09:00,820 --> 00:09:01,980 Thank you. 137 00:09:04,020 --> 00:09:06,420 All the doors are locked. We can't get inside. 138 00:09:07,700 --> 00:09:10,380 Oh, you stupid woman! 139 00:09:10,380 --> 00:09:12,860 My camera's in there. Sorry. 140 00:09:14,580 --> 00:09:18,460 Father Brown, my dear chap. Sir Mortimer. Good to see you. 141 00:09:18,500 --> 00:09:19,660 Mrs McCarthy. 142 00:09:19,660 --> 00:09:23,060 I'm afraid neither of my brothers have made an appearance. 143 00:09:23,060 --> 00:09:25,140 Unfortunately, I have bad news for you. 144 00:09:25,180 --> 00:09:27,220 Your brother Henry died this morning. 145 00:09:27,220 --> 00:09:28,980 A suspected heart attack. 146 00:09:29,020 --> 00:09:30,820 What?! I'm so sorry. 147 00:09:34,020 --> 00:09:35,540 Damn fool! 148 00:09:35,540 --> 00:09:38,220 I told him to stop drinking. 149 00:09:38,260 --> 00:09:40,700 He's at the Kembleford cottage hospital. 150 00:09:40,740 --> 00:09:41,740 Are you all right? 151 00:09:43,660 --> 00:09:44,620 Fine. 152 00:09:47,500 --> 00:09:49,180 I'm just glad you're here. 153 00:09:53,820 --> 00:09:56,420 Father Brown. This is for you. 154 00:09:57,980 --> 00:09:58,860 I found it over there. 155 00:10:00,940 --> 00:10:02,100 Well, what is it? 156 00:10:08,820 --> 00:10:10,060 It's a death certificate. 157 00:10:12,580 --> 00:10:13,900 With my name on it. 158 00:10:17,380 --> 00:10:18,460 Sir! 159 00:10:20,300 --> 00:10:23,100 He must have picked these up this morning. 160 00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:24,860 They should promote you to detective. 161 00:10:27,300 --> 00:10:29,180 Bill, bill... 162 00:10:34,140 --> 00:10:35,300 What's this? 163 00:10:38,300 --> 00:10:39,580 A death certificate? 164 00:10:43,100 --> 00:10:44,740 With Henry's name on it. 165 00:10:44,780 --> 00:10:46,900 "Cause of death, poison." 166 00:10:48,660 --> 00:10:50,860 Not looking so much like a heart attack anymore. 167 00:10:52,980 --> 00:10:55,540 What? A death certificate? 168 00:10:55,540 --> 00:10:57,740 Father, we should leave here immediately. 169 00:10:57,780 --> 00:11:00,980 Oh, don't be such a silly old woman. I beg your pardon? 170 00:11:01,020 --> 00:11:03,540 I don't think you should speak to a lady like that. 171 00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:05,020 Steady, tiger. 172 00:11:05,060 --> 00:11:07,340 All I'm saying is that it's typical Julius, 173 00:11:07,340 --> 00:11:10,020 playing jokes on his family and friends. 174 00:11:10,020 --> 00:11:11,580 I'm not so sure. 175 00:11:11,580 --> 00:11:14,020 He's always had a warped sense of humour. 176 00:11:14,060 --> 00:11:15,220 He'll pop up in a minute. 177 00:11:16,260 --> 00:11:17,660 Laughing at us all. 178 00:11:23,620 --> 00:11:25,340 Father. 179 00:11:25,380 --> 00:11:27,260 Do you really think it's from Uncle Mirth? 180 00:11:29,460 --> 00:11:31,460 Why would he do this? 181 00:11:31,500 --> 00:11:33,700 It's clear he's as mad as ever he was. 182 00:11:33,740 --> 00:11:36,140 And he still bears you a grudge. 183 00:11:36,180 --> 00:11:37,340 Remember... 184 00:11:37,380 --> 00:11:39,660 I had to tell them where you were hiding. 185 00:11:40,860 --> 00:11:42,660 When you had a breakdown, 186 00:11:42,660 --> 00:11:45,060 I thought you might do something terrible to yourself. 187 00:11:53,260 --> 00:11:55,060 Are you sure you want to stay? 188 00:11:56,500 --> 00:11:58,100 Yes. 189 00:11:58,140 --> 00:11:59,300 I owe it to Uncle Mirth... 190 00:12:00,660 --> 00:12:01,620 ..to try and help him. 191 00:12:03,580 --> 00:12:05,180 SIR MORTIMER: Another one! 192 00:12:12,060 --> 00:12:14,020 Another one. What did I tell you? 193 00:12:14,060 --> 00:12:16,380 My brother is as nutty as a fruitcake. 194 00:12:16,380 --> 00:12:17,580 Where did you find it? 195 00:12:17,620 --> 00:12:21,580 I found it on the bottom step. Didn't you find the other one too? 196 00:12:21,620 --> 00:12:25,380 What are you saying? That I'm somehow in on Uncle Mirth's joke? 197 00:12:25,380 --> 00:12:26,820 No. Sorry. 198 00:12:28,020 --> 00:12:29,340 That door's open. 199 00:12:30,780 --> 00:12:32,900 I've had enough of playing silly beggars... 200 00:12:32,900 --> 00:12:36,900 Excuse me! Maybe we shouldn't go up... 201 00:12:39,340 --> 00:12:40,340 Julius! 202 00:12:41,660 --> 00:12:42,980 Are you up there? 203 00:12:44,620 --> 00:12:46,380 Well, he's bound to be up here somewhere. 204 00:13:01,340 --> 00:13:04,100 He's not in there. He must be here somewhere. 205 00:13:09,220 --> 00:13:10,020 Julius! 206 00:13:11,460 --> 00:13:14,380 Come out, you bloody fool! 207 00:13:14,380 --> 00:13:18,260 Always loved hide and seek. Something about dark corners. 208 00:13:19,460 --> 00:13:20,540 Uncle Mirth? 209 00:13:22,020 --> 00:13:23,780 His name's Julius. 210 00:13:46,580 --> 00:13:48,260 If you ever need to chat about Henry... 211 00:13:48,300 --> 00:13:49,820 Oh, thank you, Father. 212 00:13:49,860 --> 00:13:51,500 If I'm honest, we were never close. 213 00:13:53,300 --> 00:13:55,900 Perhaps he got a death certificate too. 214 00:13:55,940 --> 00:13:58,980 Look, there's nothing sinister about all of this. 215 00:13:58,980 --> 00:14:02,260 Julius once had an obituary printed in the paper, 216 00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:04,500 telling everyone he'd died. 217 00:14:04,500 --> 00:14:07,580 I remember that. It's all about craving attention. 218 00:14:09,540 --> 00:14:10,660 Creating an audience. 219 00:14:11,860 --> 00:14:12,980 JACOB: Over here! 220 00:14:22,060 --> 00:14:23,100 It's been locked! 221 00:14:25,220 --> 00:14:28,020 Did you see anyone? No. 222 00:14:28,020 --> 00:14:29,740 Why did you even try the door? 223 00:14:30,860 --> 00:14:33,700 I just came round the corridor and saw it was closed. 224 00:14:33,740 --> 00:14:36,780 So, you're accusing him now? What is it with you? 225 00:14:36,780 --> 00:14:39,380 I'm just trying to make sense of it all. 226 00:14:39,380 --> 00:14:40,620 Here, let me try. 227 00:14:44,100 --> 00:14:45,260 It won't budge. 228 00:14:45,300 --> 00:14:48,500 There must be another way out. We need to search all the rooms. 229 00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:59,580 This is looking less and less like an Uncle Mirth joke. 230 00:15:09,460 --> 00:15:11,820 I do not like this one little bit. No. 231 00:15:14,740 --> 00:15:16,340 Father Brown, look. 232 00:15:19,020 --> 00:15:21,020 And greetings to you, Mr Kafka. 233 00:15:22,620 --> 00:15:24,740 Don't suppose you know the way out of here, do you? 234 00:15:26,340 --> 00:15:29,300 One of Uncle Mirth's hilarious pranks, no doubt. 235 00:15:30,580 --> 00:15:35,020 Do you know? I have always wondered how these things work. 236 00:15:35,060 --> 00:15:36,220 Me too. 237 00:15:46,660 --> 00:15:48,220 Ow! 238 00:15:48,260 --> 00:15:51,500 Are you all right? Oh, it's...it's nothing. 239 00:15:54,420 --> 00:15:57,580 There are needles, just inside the opening. 240 00:16:00,100 --> 00:16:01,620 Meant for me, no doubt. 241 00:16:05,500 --> 00:16:07,220 I've been to the end of the corridor. 242 00:16:07,260 --> 00:16:08,500 There's no second stairway. 243 00:16:10,380 --> 00:16:12,820 So, how do you know my brother? 244 00:16:15,500 --> 00:16:18,300 He agreed to be in a radio show I produced. 245 00:16:18,340 --> 00:16:20,820 We became quite close. 246 00:16:20,860 --> 00:16:21,940 Close? 247 00:16:25,020 --> 00:16:28,020 Is that how you normally secure your bookings? 248 00:16:31,660 --> 00:16:33,020 Actually, it is. 249 00:16:35,420 --> 00:16:39,020 I've slept with so many men, I've lost count. 250 00:16:40,460 --> 00:16:42,660 Dozens and dozens. 251 00:16:42,700 --> 00:16:45,500 You see, I'm just not fussy. 252 00:16:47,580 --> 00:16:49,980 But I wouldn't go near a pig like you. 253 00:17:12,780 --> 00:17:14,940 Do you miss him? What? 254 00:17:16,620 --> 00:17:19,220 Uncle Mirth. Why would you say that? 255 00:17:19,260 --> 00:17:21,140 I did a lot of interviews with him. 256 00:17:22,340 --> 00:17:25,940 He always spoke about you. Did he? 257 00:17:25,940 --> 00:17:26,940 The love of his life... 258 00:17:28,500 --> 00:17:30,220 ..who left him for his brother. 259 00:17:33,500 --> 00:17:35,460 Sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. I'm... 260 00:17:36,940 --> 00:17:39,340 I'm always saying the wrong things. It's all right. 261 00:17:41,500 --> 00:17:44,060 He was convinced you still loved him. 262 00:17:44,060 --> 00:17:47,660 I just couldn't take any more, his moods. 263 00:17:47,700 --> 00:17:49,100 One minute up, the next... 264 00:17:50,540 --> 00:17:52,140 He was always close to breaking. 265 00:17:55,500 --> 00:17:56,780 Why Sir Mortimer? 266 00:17:58,260 --> 00:18:00,060 It won't be for much longer. 267 00:18:00,100 --> 00:18:01,860 FOOTSTEPS 268 00:18:04,300 --> 00:18:05,940 Any luck? Ah, afraid not. 269 00:18:11,060 --> 00:18:13,660 Looks like Uncle Mirth wants us to watch something. 270 00:18:14,940 --> 00:18:17,500 Sir Mortimer, Eve... 271 00:18:19,780 --> 00:18:21,140 What is it? 272 00:18:24,420 --> 00:18:25,780 A film? 273 00:18:25,780 --> 00:18:27,780 This is becoming absurd. Shh! 274 00:18:37,860 --> 00:18:40,180 # I'm a crackpot of the Empire 275 00:18:40,220 --> 00:18:42,380 # Mad as a hatter 276 00:18:42,380 --> 00:18:45,100 # I'm loony, hooky, loopy, kooky! 277 00:18:45,140 --> 00:18:48,180 ♪ I'm a crackpot of the Empire. ♪ 278 00:18:52,060 --> 00:18:55,580 Well, thank you for attending my welcome home party. 279 00:18:55,620 --> 00:18:58,980 The only thought that kept me going in that madhouse 280 00:18:58,980 --> 00:19:02,420 was the thought of taking my revenge on the people that put me in there. 281 00:19:03,660 --> 00:19:07,500 My two brothers and my friend, Father Brown. 282 00:19:13,180 --> 00:19:14,580 Mm! 283 00:19:16,460 --> 00:19:18,740 I assume my brother Henry didn't make it this far. 284 00:19:20,540 --> 00:19:24,540 Pathetic alcoholic, he was always going to be the easiest to kill. 285 00:19:24,580 --> 00:19:29,420 A bottle of poison-laced port sent to him will doubtless do the trick. 286 00:19:30,500 --> 00:19:32,300 My other brother, Sir Mortimer. 287 00:19:33,660 --> 00:19:36,180 You will die from your own selfishness. 288 00:19:37,300 --> 00:19:38,580 And Father Brown... 289 00:19:40,060 --> 00:19:42,420 You will be killed by your own curiosity. 290 00:19:47,380 --> 00:19:50,540 If all does not go to plan, well, 291 00:19:50,580 --> 00:19:52,460 you will all fall to your death anyway. 292 00:19:54,060 --> 00:19:57,100 This building has been condemned 293 00:19:57,100 --> 00:20:00,340 and the ground will soon give way beneath you. 294 00:20:05,620 --> 00:20:07,500 We're all going to die! Shut up. 295 00:20:08,900 --> 00:20:11,060 But it's true. We're trapped. 296 00:20:11,100 --> 00:20:14,540 May I remind you that we all entered via a fire escape. 297 00:20:16,100 --> 00:20:19,420 So, there is another way out. He's right. 298 00:20:19,420 --> 00:20:24,620 We need to slowly and calmly search again. 299 00:20:24,620 --> 00:20:26,780 We've looked everywhere! 300 00:20:26,780 --> 00:20:28,140 Will you just button it? 301 00:20:29,380 --> 00:20:31,700 Check behind furniture for anything hidden. 302 00:20:38,340 --> 00:20:40,100 I didn't want to believe it was him. 303 00:20:41,380 --> 00:20:43,180 It will be all right, won't it, Father? 304 00:20:45,020 --> 00:20:46,380 Of course. 305 00:20:50,860 --> 00:20:52,980 Update on the dead bloke? 306 00:20:52,980 --> 00:20:57,620 Lady Felicia said Henry's brother is throwing a party up at the old mill. 307 00:20:57,620 --> 00:21:00,300 Goes by the name of Uncle Mirth. 308 00:21:01,500 --> 00:21:03,420 Uncle Mirth? You having a laugh? 309 00:21:03,420 --> 00:21:05,100 No, sir. 310 00:21:05,140 --> 00:21:08,180 Sounds like some dodgy scout master. 311 00:21:08,180 --> 00:21:09,620 Get the car. 312 00:21:09,620 --> 00:21:10,620 Please? 313 00:21:23,140 --> 00:21:24,580 I've found something! 314 00:21:27,900 --> 00:21:30,020 Looks like a goods lift. 315 00:21:30,020 --> 00:21:31,740 Well, there doesn't seem to be much room. 316 00:21:31,780 --> 00:21:34,140 We'll have to go down one at a time. 317 00:21:34,180 --> 00:21:36,420 Excuse me. 318 00:21:36,420 --> 00:21:38,020 Why should you go first? 319 00:21:38,060 --> 00:21:39,740 I'm not staying here a moment longer. 320 00:21:42,500 --> 00:21:44,500 Sir Mortimer. Wait... 321 00:21:48,420 --> 00:21:51,620 HE SCREAMS 322 00:21:51,660 --> 00:21:54,500 LIFT CRASHES 323 00:21:54,500 --> 00:21:55,900 No! 324 00:22:02,220 --> 00:22:03,820 The cables must have been cut. 325 00:22:05,060 --> 00:22:07,500 "You will die by your own selfishness." 326 00:22:08,700 --> 00:22:11,020 Father, if this floor collapses, 327 00:22:11,020 --> 00:22:13,300 we'll all end up like... 328 00:22:13,300 --> 00:22:16,020 This place isn't condemned. 329 00:22:16,020 --> 00:22:17,220 Too solid. Oh. 330 00:22:24,980 --> 00:22:27,380 SHE SOBS 331 00:22:42,380 --> 00:22:43,980 I've said a prayer for him. 332 00:22:45,260 --> 00:22:47,860 My tears aren't for Mortimer. 333 00:22:47,900 --> 00:22:49,100 They're for Uncle Mirth. 334 00:22:50,740 --> 00:22:52,580 It's all my fault he's doing this. 335 00:22:55,140 --> 00:22:59,060 Leaving him caused his breakdown. 336 00:22:59,100 --> 00:23:00,700 It unhinged him. 337 00:23:05,620 --> 00:23:07,180 You are not to blame. 338 00:23:08,900 --> 00:23:11,020 Perhaps the asylum pushed him over the edge. 339 00:23:11,060 --> 00:23:12,900 SHATTERING GLASS 340 00:23:15,140 --> 00:23:17,220 Mrs McCarthy, are you all right? 341 00:23:18,980 --> 00:23:22,300 I don't know, I...I'm feeling most peculiar. 342 00:23:22,340 --> 00:23:25,460 What is it? I...I can't breathe. 343 00:23:27,020 --> 00:23:29,140 I think you've been poisoned. Huh? 344 00:23:36,380 --> 00:23:38,460 Mrs McCarthy's collapsed! 345 00:23:38,500 --> 00:23:40,900 EVE: There's a door. Help me! 346 00:23:43,780 --> 00:23:45,380 We need to find a telephone. 347 00:24:05,900 --> 00:24:07,460 We must be in the cellar by now. 348 00:24:12,020 --> 00:24:13,420 It's locked! Come on. 349 00:24:16,260 --> 00:24:19,100 We will a find a way out, I promise. 350 00:24:19,140 --> 00:24:20,500 Mrs McCarthy? 351 00:24:28,980 --> 00:24:31,700 Up here! We're trapped. 352 00:24:32,940 --> 00:24:34,020 Try that door. 353 00:24:34,020 --> 00:24:37,340 Mrs McCarthy needs medical help, urgently! 354 00:24:37,380 --> 00:24:39,020 Hang on! 355 00:24:41,260 --> 00:24:42,420 It's locked, sir. 356 00:24:43,700 --> 00:24:45,460 We've found a door to the cellars. 357 00:24:45,460 --> 00:24:47,740 Can you get down there and open it from the other side? 358 00:24:50,420 --> 00:24:52,220 No, this one too. Out the way. 359 00:24:59,140 --> 00:25:00,340 Come on! 360 00:25:08,100 --> 00:25:09,740 Goodbye, Father. 361 00:25:21,100 --> 00:25:22,900 HE SOBS 362 00:25:37,500 --> 00:25:38,500 Thank you, Doctor. 363 00:25:42,860 --> 00:25:44,620 Well? 364 00:25:44,660 --> 00:25:45,860 See for yourself. 365 00:25:52,340 --> 00:25:54,980 This is the worst cup of tea I've ever had. 366 00:25:55,020 --> 00:25:58,700 You'll need to let the pot stand for at least two minutes before pouring. 367 00:26:00,940 --> 00:26:04,180 The first death certificate was found over there. 368 00:26:04,180 --> 00:26:06,340 Was it really necessary to bring us back? 369 00:26:06,380 --> 00:26:08,420 Need to get a clear picture. 370 00:26:08,420 --> 00:26:12,060 Now, what I don't understand is why you three were invited? 371 00:26:12,060 --> 00:26:14,020 I mean, you weren't the intended victims. 372 00:26:15,100 --> 00:26:18,420 Uncle Mirth was a showman. He always craved an audience. 373 00:26:18,460 --> 00:26:20,900 And with me a producer and Jacob a writer, 374 00:26:20,900 --> 00:26:24,220 he knew we'd tell his story to an even bigger audience. 375 00:26:24,260 --> 00:26:27,340 It was Sir Mortimer who insisted I come. 376 00:26:27,380 --> 00:26:29,260 Show me where you found the second one. 377 00:26:35,020 --> 00:26:36,260 You said yesterday... 378 00:26:37,860 --> 00:26:40,740 ..about not being with Sir Mortimer for much longer. 379 00:26:40,740 --> 00:26:42,100 Well, I... 380 00:26:42,140 --> 00:26:45,340 I just meant that I was planning to leave him. 381 00:26:45,380 --> 00:26:47,620 Surely you don't think I had anything to do with...? 382 00:26:49,660 --> 00:26:50,620 Of course not. 383 00:26:56,340 --> 00:26:58,300 I'm so pleased you're feeling better, Mrs M. 384 00:26:58,340 --> 00:27:01,420 I'm absolutely fine. No need for all this fuss. 385 00:27:01,420 --> 00:27:02,500 You were poisoned. 386 00:27:03,660 --> 00:27:05,740 The needles in the dummy were doused in it. 387 00:27:05,780 --> 00:27:08,020 Thank goodness the inspector got you here in time. 388 00:27:09,140 --> 00:27:11,260 A repellent little man, to say the least. 389 00:27:11,260 --> 00:27:13,300 But you can't fault what he did. 390 00:27:13,300 --> 00:27:14,420 The poison was meant for me. 391 00:27:15,860 --> 00:27:17,060 I'm so sorry. 392 00:27:17,060 --> 00:27:18,060 Don't be silly, Father! 393 00:27:19,900 --> 00:27:23,140 The inspector wants me back at the mill now. 394 00:27:23,180 --> 00:27:26,780 But...let me cook lunch for you. 395 00:27:26,820 --> 00:27:29,460 Oh! Lovely. 396 00:27:30,300 --> 00:27:34,020 In the meantime, please try and get some rest. 397 00:27:34,060 --> 00:27:35,700 I'll look after her, Father. 398 00:27:35,740 --> 00:27:38,580 I'm not an invalid. I don't need looking after. 399 00:27:38,580 --> 00:27:41,420 Now, you're not going to be a difficult patient, are you, Mrs M? 400 00:27:41,420 --> 00:27:44,660 'My other brother, Sir Mortimer, 401 00:27:44,700 --> 00:27:47,300 'you will die from your own selfishness. 402 00:27:48,540 --> 00:27:50,740 'And Father Brown..' 403 00:27:50,780 --> 00:27:53,420 You will be killed by your own curiosity. 404 00:27:57,620 --> 00:28:00,380 'If all does not go to plan, well, 405 00:28:00,420 --> 00:28:02,700 'you will all fall to your death anyway.' 406 00:28:02,700 --> 00:28:03,940 You're not allowed up here. 407 00:28:03,980 --> 00:28:05,420 'This building has been...' 408 00:28:05,420 --> 00:28:07,860 I thought you wanted to see me. Too late now. 409 00:28:09,660 --> 00:28:11,100 Got what I needed from the others. 410 00:28:14,540 --> 00:28:17,180 Dusty cellar. So... 411 00:28:18,220 --> 00:28:19,780 Any sign of Uncle Mirth? 412 00:28:19,820 --> 00:28:22,580 Not that it's any of your business, 413 00:28:22,620 --> 00:28:24,460 but that maniac is still on the loose. 414 00:28:25,740 --> 00:28:28,140 That maniac might be an ill man. 415 00:28:28,140 --> 00:28:31,420 Tell that to the twisted corpse of Sir Mortimer. 416 00:28:33,980 --> 00:28:35,220 On the screen, 417 00:28:35,260 --> 00:28:38,380 I thought I noticed Uncle Mirth flinch 418 00:28:38,420 --> 00:28:40,300 when we heard that click. 419 00:28:42,340 --> 00:28:43,980 A click? 420 00:28:44,020 --> 00:28:47,780 Could have been anything - door, window, light switch... 421 00:28:47,820 --> 00:28:48,780 Or a gun. 422 00:28:50,540 --> 00:28:52,500 Perhaps he made his speech under duress... 423 00:28:52,540 --> 00:28:54,740 YELLS: Are you trying to tell me how to do my job? 424 00:28:54,780 --> 00:28:55,980 No, I... Good. 425 00:28:57,180 --> 00:29:00,820 Now get out of here before I arrest you for being a pain in the backside. 426 00:29:09,340 --> 00:29:11,260 Well, I certainly would. 427 00:29:14,300 --> 00:29:19,100 Oh, come on, don't tell me it hasn't crossed your mind. 428 00:29:19,140 --> 00:29:22,540 At a time like this, how can you even think about such things? 429 00:29:25,020 --> 00:29:27,660 Wouldn't be the first time we've both liked the same man. 430 00:29:29,460 --> 00:29:30,620 You mean Uncle Mirth? 431 00:29:34,500 --> 00:29:38,380 So Mr Writer, fancy another ride? 432 00:29:38,420 --> 00:29:40,060 Uh, no, thank you. 433 00:29:40,100 --> 00:29:43,020 The sergeant's giving me a lift. Jacob... 434 00:29:43,020 --> 00:29:45,300 During your research for Uncle Mirth's biography, 435 00:29:45,340 --> 00:29:47,780 did you discover what happened to his sister? 436 00:29:47,780 --> 00:29:48,940 She was unhinged. 437 00:29:50,340 --> 00:29:52,580 She died abroad last year. 438 00:29:52,620 --> 00:29:54,620 Suspected suicide. 439 00:29:54,660 --> 00:29:55,620 So... 440 00:29:57,140 --> 00:29:59,620 His siblings are dead and he's missing. 441 00:29:59,660 --> 00:30:03,220 You think it's some kind of vendetta against the family? 442 00:30:03,220 --> 00:30:06,060 Possibly. But you were named in the film footage, Father. 443 00:30:07,380 --> 00:30:08,460 Mm... 444 00:30:08,500 --> 00:30:10,380 Yes, I was. 445 00:30:11,580 --> 00:30:14,020 Yes, sir, we've searched the surrounding areas. 446 00:30:14,060 --> 00:30:15,780 But there's no sign of Uncle Mirth. 447 00:30:15,820 --> 00:30:18,220 He's not going to stay around waiting to be caught, is he? 448 00:30:18,260 --> 00:30:21,260 Let's search Kembleford and the surrounding area. 449 00:30:21,300 --> 00:30:22,260 Yes, sir. 450 00:31:27,700 --> 00:31:30,500 HE CLICKS HIS TONGUE 451 00:31:57,220 --> 00:31:58,180 Ah! 452 00:32:48,620 --> 00:32:50,380 Old, dusty. 453 00:32:54,780 --> 00:32:55,820 New. 454 00:33:12,860 --> 00:33:13,940 Uncle Mirth. 455 00:33:16,780 --> 00:33:19,220 SNORING 456 00:33:21,900 --> 00:33:22,860 Oh, yeah. 457 00:33:25,340 --> 00:33:28,340 Oh! Outrageous. 458 00:33:33,140 --> 00:33:34,940 SHE SNORES LOUDLY Ah! 459 00:33:37,540 --> 00:33:40,340 What was that? Nothing. 460 00:33:40,380 --> 00:33:43,380 Just the gentle rumblings of a combine harvester. 461 00:33:43,420 --> 00:33:45,220 You're looking a little flushed. 462 00:33:45,220 --> 00:33:47,660 It's rather hot in here. Can we open the window? 463 00:33:49,980 --> 00:33:53,140 Heavens above, look at the time. And where's Father Brown got to? 464 00:33:53,180 --> 00:33:54,540 Well, he hasn't come back yet. 465 00:33:54,580 --> 00:33:57,220 You know what he's like, he's probably sleuthing somewhere. 466 00:33:57,220 --> 00:33:59,220 He said he was going to prepare the luncheon. 467 00:33:59,260 --> 00:34:01,260 And he never misses a meal. 468 00:34:01,300 --> 00:34:04,700 And now...now I'm hungry and worried. 469 00:34:07,780 --> 00:34:10,580 You're safe now. I'll get you some help. 470 00:34:10,580 --> 00:34:12,780 GUN CLICKS 471 00:34:17,140 --> 00:34:18,820 I was wondering when you'd turn up. 472 00:34:21,980 --> 00:34:25,260 You framed Uncle Mirth for his brothers' murders, 473 00:34:25,260 --> 00:34:29,900 set up the sick jokes in keeping with his public pranks 474 00:34:29,940 --> 00:34:31,460 and invited people to witness them. 475 00:34:33,180 --> 00:34:34,780 But Uncle Mirth, 476 00:34:34,820 --> 00:34:37,340 who is not as comical as you may think, 477 00:34:37,340 --> 00:34:39,020 left a number of clues to your identity. 478 00:34:40,100 --> 00:34:42,260 All right, I'll say what you want. 479 00:34:43,900 --> 00:34:45,180 I'll need a drink first. 480 00:34:56,340 --> 00:34:58,380 While your back was turned, he put a pin in the globe. 481 00:35:03,020 --> 00:35:03,980 Ireland. 482 00:35:05,260 --> 00:35:06,700 And the beverage he chose. 483 00:35:07,900 --> 00:35:08,900 Irish stout. 484 00:35:16,020 --> 00:35:17,780 I saw you hiding in the grounds, Father. 485 00:35:19,900 --> 00:35:21,140 How did you know where he was? 486 00:35:22,780 --> 00:35:24,020 Dusty cellar. 487 00:35:29,020 --> 00:35:31,660 Dust, from the cellar. 488 00:35:33,300 --> 00:35:35,780 Immured, walled in. 489 00:35:38,100 --> 00:35:39,460 Nasty death, suffocation. 490 00:35:42,940 --> 00:35:44,220 It's a ventilation shaft. 491 00:35:50,020 --> 00:35:51,020 So... 492 00:35:52,540 --> 00:35:55,780 Your pose as Uncle Mirth's biographer 493 00:35:55,820 --> 00:35:58,260 was just a ploy to get information? 494 00:35:59,300 --> 00:36:00,700 If you're not a writer... 495 00:36:03,180 --> 00:36:04,180 ..who are you? 496 00:36:07,180 --> 00:36:09,420 Another crackpot of the Empire. 497 00:36:12,020 --> 00:36:13,100 The Empire? 498 00:36:15,460 --> 00:36:18,340 Ah, the family. 499 00:36:19,620 --> 00:36:21,100 Is this all about inheritance? 500 00:36:22,380 --> 00:36:23,300 Yep. 501 00:36:24,700 --> 00:36:25,940 Did you put me in your will? 502 00:36:27,140 --> 00:36:28,620 He... 503 00:36:28,660 --> 00:36:31,180 he said he was indebted to you for helping him. 504 00:36:32,780 --> 00:36:36,460 So with me and the brothers dead, you stood to inherit everything. 505 00:36:39,420 --> 00:36:41,500 All right, it's time you were told the truth. 506 00:36:44,820 --> 00:36:46,380 I'm your sister's son. 507 00:36:48,620 --> 00:36:51,100 She married an Irish labourer, 508 00:36:51,100 --> 00:36:52,380 but their father disowned her. 509 00:36:54,020 --> 00:36:55,180 She was dead to him. 510 00:36:55,220 --> 00:36:57,100 I... I didn't know... 511 00:36:57,100 --> 00:36:59,580 Oh, and that makes it right?! 512 00:36:59,620 --> 00:37:02,100 While you and your brothers lived like kings, 513 00:37:02,140 --> 00:37:05,060 we were starving in some rat-infested slum. 514 00:37:06,460 --> 00:37:09,340 But it's not their fault. Is it? 515 00:37:10,820 --> 00:37:12,860 As Henry said, 516 00:37:12,860 --> 00:37:14,860 they were children when their sister left. 517 00:37:14,860 --> 00:37:16,340 This isn't about revenge! 518 00:37:18,300 --> 00:37:20,100 I'm taking back what my mother... 519 00:37:21,460 --> 00:37:22,620 What I was denied. 520 00:37:24,780 --> 00:37:29,260 All my life, I have fantasised about killing them and inheriting it all. 521 00:37:29,300 --> 00:37:30,500 Killing them? 522 00:37:32,980 --> 00:37:35,460 Is the family fortune worth that much to you? 523 00:37:36,620 --> 00:37:37,620 Fortune? 524 00:37:39,420 --> 00:37:41,260 Oh, you've no idea, do you, Father? 525 00:37:42,500 --> 00:37:44,300 They're worth millions. 526 00:37:44,340 --> 00:37:45,500 It truly is an empire. 527 00:37:53,980 --> 00:37:56,100 What would your mother think about all this? 528 00:37:57,940 --> 00:37:59,700 I'm doing it for her! 529 00:38:03,620 --> 00:38:05,100 She hung herself. 530 00:38:08,220 --> 00:38:10,500 She's buried in a pauper's grave. 531 00:38:12,140 --> 00:38:13,740 I couldn't even afford a headstone. 532 00:38:16,020 --> 00:38:18,580 HE SOBS 533 00:38:18,620 --> 00:38:19,660 I'm sorry. 534 00:38:21,180 --> 00:38:22,380 Well, he's not in St Mary's. 535 00:38:22,420 --> 00:38:24,260 I've looked everywhere I can think of. 536 00:38:24,260 --> 00:38:27,180 You should go back and rest. I am not going anywhere until I... 537 00:38:27,180 --> 00:38:28,340 Inspector! 538 00:38:30,700 --> 00:38:33,060 It's Father Brown, he hasn't come back from the mill. 539 00:38:33,060 --> 00:38:34,700 Snooping around, no doubt... 540 00:38:34,700 --> 00:38:36,180 He might be in danger. 541 00:38:36,220 --> 00:38:39,300 Well, if he's not, he will be when I get my hands on him. 542 00:38:39,300 --> 00:38:40,820 Goodfellow, come on. 543 00:38:47,060 --> 00:38:50,300 She never got over what happened. 544 00:38:50,340 --> 00:38:53,980 Years of depression, mental problems. 545 00:38:56,460 --> 00:38:59,620 She was always begging me to take back what was rightfully hers. 546 00:39:06,500 --> 00:39:07,780 I promised her! 547 00:39:11,020 --> 00:39:12,620 And I can't let some priest ruin it. 548 00:39:15,060 --> 00:39:16,740 But what have you done, Jacob? 549 00:39:18,580 --> 00:39:19,540 Look at him. 550 00:39:21,820 --> 00:39:22,820 He's your uncle. 551 00:39:24,460 --> 00:39:25,660 I had to keep him alive until 552 00:39:25,700 --> 00:39:27,900 all the other beneficiaries of the will were dead. 553 00:39:31,660 --> 00:39:33,820 But you must know... 554 00:39:33,860 --> 00:39:36,020 you won't get away with this? 555 00:39:36,020 --> 00:39:37,180 Won't I? 556 00:39:38,580 --> 00:39:41,340 "Crazy Uncle Mirth kills Father Brown as he said he would... 557 00:39:45,540 --> 00:39:46,780 "..then kills himself." 558 00:39:49,580 --> 00:39:51,100 That'll be good enough for the police. 559 00:39:58,820 --> 00:40:01,820 Please. Don't do that. 560 00:40:10,980 --> 00:40:12,580 This way. 561 00:40:20,500 --> 00:40:24,660 Please. Give me the gun. No! 562 00:40:25,620 --> 00:40:27,700 I have to do this. 563 00:40:27,740 --> 00:40:28,820 It's for my mother. 564 00:40:30,860 --> 00:40:33,700 But if you pull the trigger and kill me, 565 00:40:33,740 --> 00:40:35,340 then he'll kill you. 566 00:40:36,580 --> 00:40:39,140 But if you give me the gun, 567 00:40:39,180 --> 00:40:40,860 I'll persuade him to put his down. 568 00:40:44,900 --> 00:40:46,060 I can't... 569 00:40:47,940 --> 00:40:49,540 That's your only option to stay alive. 570 00:40:52,220 --> 00:40:53,420 Do you want to die? 571 00:41:00,100 --> 00:41:02,660 Uncle Mirth, please lower your gun. 572 00:41:02,660 --> 00:41:04,340 COCKS GUN 573 00:41:04,380 --> 00:41:06,820 Uncle Mirth, it is over. 574 00:41:09,220 --> 00:41:10,860 Don't. 575 00:41:12,540 --> 00:41:13,700 Please... 576 00:41:16,980 --> 00:41:18,980 You know this is wrong. 577 00:41:21,060 --> 00:41:22,980 No! 578 00:41:23,020 --> 00:41:24,340 Ah! 579 00:41:24,380 --> 00:41:25,500 MALLORY: Padre... 580 00:41:26,460 --> 00:41:27,700 What the...? 581 00:41:27,740 --> 00:41:29,020 Um... 582 00:41:31,060 --> 00:41:33,100 Inspector, would you mind taking this, please? 583 00:41:33,140 --> 00:41:34,180 I believe it's loaded. 584 00:41:37,900 --> 00:41:38,900 Thank you. 585 00:41:49,500 --> 00:41:50,500 It's all right. 586 00:41:54,180 --> 00:41:55,220 It'll be all right. 587 00:41:57,740 --> 00:42:00,340 # I'm loony, loopy hooky, kooky! 588 00:42:00,380 --> 00:42:03,100 ♪ I'm a crackpot of the Empire! ♪ 589 00:42:06,540 --> 00:42:09,780 One of these days, you're going to get killed for real. 590 00:42:09,820 --> 00:42:12,260 You're as mad as that lunatic in the hospital. 591 00:42:20,180 --> 00:42:24,660 I just hope that Jacob hasn't pushed Uncle Mirth back into insanity. 592 00:42:27,260 --> 00:42:29,660 LAUGHTER 593 00:42:34,180 --> 00:42:38,420 Now, what did Inspector Mallory say to his belly button? 594 00:42:38,460 --> 00:42:39,420 You're under a vest! 595 00:42:41,100 --> 00:42:43,500 Looks sane enough to me, back to normal. 596 00:42:43,540 --> 00:42:45,140 Crackpot of the Empire. 597 00:42:45,140 --> 00:42:48,380 Now, what do you call a bishop when he sleepwalks? 598 00:42:48,420 --> 00:42:50,020 A roamin' Catholic! 599 00:42:50,060 --> 00:42:51,820 ALL LAUGH 600 00:42:53,580 --> 00:42:56,580 Why is Father Brown laughing? Mass hysteria! 601 00:42:56,620 --> 00:42:59,540 ALL LAUGH 42351

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