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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:12,265 --> 00:01:13,914 It's over. 2 00:01:15,985 --> 00:01:19,860 We know who you are. 3 00:01:19,122 --> 00:01:21,889 Your allies are all dead. 4 00:01:21,924 --> 00:01:23,758 You failed. 5 00:01:23,793 --> 00:01:26,193 I've already proven to you that I can defy death. 6 00:01:26,229 --> 00:01:27,928 I'm just gonna bring her back. 7 00:01:27,964 --> 00:01:31,949 And when I do, my Ms. Mead will stand by me as we watch you die. 8 00:01:31,984 --> 00:01:35,520 You can certainly go to Hell, but you won't find her there. 9 00:01:35,870 --> 00:01:36,954 What have you done? 10 00:01:36,989 --> 00:01:39,924 Her soul is hidden by a spell only I can break. 11 00:01:39,959 --> 00:01:42,760 You'll never see her again. 12 00:01:44,831 --> 00:01:45,980 You're alone. 13 00:01:46,150 --> 00:01:47,782 I'm never alone. 14 00:01:47,817 --> 00:01:50,785 I have my father. 15 00:01:50,820 --> 00:01:52,753 Where is he now? 16 00:01:52,789 --> 00:01:54,188 Why did he let this happen? 17 00:01:54,223 --> 00:01:56,724 You don't have to follow this path 18 00:01:56,759 --> 00:01:58,793 your father laid out for you. 19 00:01:58,828 --> 00:02:00,795 You can write your own destiny. 20 00:02:00,830 --> 00:02:03,781 You can still turn away. 21 00:02:03,816 --> 00:02:06,817 There's humanity in you. 22 00:02:06,853 --> 00:02:10,187 I see it. 23 00:02:10,223 --> 00:02:18,950 If you come with me, maybe we can find it. 24 00:02:20,216 --> 00:02:22,883 Together. 25 00:02:35,231 --> 00:02:41,886 Somehow, some way, I am gonna bring her back. 26 00:02:41,921 --> 00:02:45,823 And then I'm gonna kill every last one of you. 27 00:04:42,792 --> 00:04:46,627 I'm not going any further. 28 00:04:46,662 --> 00:04:50,581 Father, tell me what to do, and I'll do it. 29 00:04:54,553 --> 00:04:58,455 I'm not leaving this circle until you talk to me. 30 00:04:58,491 --> 00:05:03,560 They're gone. The warlocks, my Ms. Mead. 31 00:05:05,598 --> 00:05:09,783 Burned alive at the stake by the witches. 32 00:05:09,819 --> 00:05:17,558 Until nothing was left but ash and smoke. 33 00:05:21,998 --> 00:05:28,619 You tell me what to do... or you let me die here. 34 00:05:53,929 --> 00:05:55,763 Would you like a grape Fanta? 35 00:05:56,849 --> 00:05:59,616 Would you like a grape Fanta? 36 00:05:59,652 --> 00:06:03,487 - No, I'm on a mission. - You're hungry. 37 00:06:03,522 --> 00:06:04,888 You need nourishment. Take an apple. 38 00:06:04,924 --> 00:06:08,692 It's so juicy. It's so juicy. 39 00:06:09,829 --> 00:06:12,563 I have to talk to my father. 40 00:06:12,598 --> 00:06:14,710 You don't have... you don't have to do anything. All are welcome. 41 00:06:14,717 --> 00:06:16,884 Come to the light. 42 00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:20,621 Leave me alone. 43 00:06:20,656 --> 00:06:22,756 Why you do this to me? 44 00:06:22,792 --> 00:06:25,592 You left me to die. To burn. 45 00:06:25,628 --> 00:06:26,827 To burn. 46 00:06:26,862 --> 00:06:28,495 I'm afraid. 47 00:06:28,531 --> 00:06:29,546 I'm afraid. 48 00:06:29,582 --> 00:06:32,516 You're not real. 49 00:06:32,551 --> 00:06:34,518 None of this is re-real. 50 00:06:34,553 --> 00:06:36,520 Don't listen to her. 51 00:06:36,555 --> 00:06:38,689 You've done a great job. 52 00:06:38,724 --> 00:06:39,723 No. 53 00:06:39,759 --> 00:06:42,493 I failed. 54 00:06:42,528 --> 00:06:45,562 I'm lost. I don't understand my purpose. 55 00:06:45,598 --> 00:06:47,781 You're everything we expected. 56 00:06:47,817 --> 00:06:50,451 The Alpha and the Omega. 57 00:06:50,486 --> 00:06:55,656 Who is, who was, and who is to come. 58 00:06:55,691 --> 00:06:56,857 Liar! 59 00:06:57,810 --> 00:06:59,760 God loves you. 60 00:07:12,625 --> 00:07:14,591 Are you my father? 61 00:07:32,928 --> 00:07:36,580 What do you want from me?! 62 00:07:36,615 --> 00:07:38,882 What am I supposed to do?! 63 00:07:39,919 --> 00:07:42,886 Fuck am I supposed to do? 64 00:08:25,965 --> 00:08:27,931 You lost? 65 00:08:50,890 --> 00:08:52,856 People. 66 00:08:52,892 --> 00:08:54,725 Listen the fuck up. 67 00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:57,694 Just because we have a president who's a total douchenozzle 68 00:08:57,730 --> 00:09:00,581 and global warming is getting worse, 69 00:09:00,616 --> 00:09:04,551 that doesn't mean you can sit here on your lazy asses 70 00:09:04,587 --> 00:09:06,987 and holler out a few "Hail Satans." 71 00:09:07,220 --> 00:09:08,789 You think end-time's just gonna show up 72 00:09:08,824 --> 00:09:10,591 like a herpes sore? 73 00:09:10,626 --> 00:09:14,595 So tired of preaching to the goddamn choir. 74 00:09:14,630 --> 00:09:18,582 What aren't you getting? You know the drill. 75 00:09:18,617 --> 00:09:21,952 The Antichrist is gonna ride in on a wave of sin, 76 00:09:21,987 --> 00:09:25,589 and all we have here is a weak piss dribble. 77 00:09:25,624 --> 00:09:28,926 Somebody, please help me out. I'm about ready 78 00:09:28,961 --> 00:09:30,861 to gouge out my own eyes so I don't have to look 79 00:09:30,896 --> 00:09:34,681 at this weak-ass congregation anymore. 80 00:09:34,717 --> 00:09:37,584 I need to hear some sins. 81 00:09:37,620 --> 00:09:41,455 I need to feel we're making way for him. 82 00:09:41,490 --> 00:09:42,756 You. 83 00:09:44,493 --> 00:09:45,626 What are your sins? 84 00:09:45,661 --> 00:09:48,595 What did you do to usher him in this week? 85 00:09:48,631 --> 00:09:51,548 I stole a hundred dollars from my register at work. 86 00:09:51,583 --> 00:09:53,951 Seriously? A fucking rounding error? 87 00:09:53,986 --> 00:09:57,688 You think that's gonna open up the Gates of Hell? 88 00:09:57,723 --> 00:10:00,891 - I slept with my wife's sister. - I've seen bad face-lifts 89 00:10:00,926 --> 00:10:02,859 that are more evil than you. 90 00:10:04,763 --> 00:10:06,713 You want to know what I did this week? 91 00:10:06,749 --> 00:10:08,915 You want to be inspired? 92 00:10:08,951 --> 00:10:13,587 You want to know how I'm helping bring end-times? 93 00:10:13,622 --> 00:10:15,489 I robbed a nursing home 94 00:10:15,524 --> 00:10:18,825 and I gave all the money to the NRA. 95 00:10:18,861 --> 00:10:22,462 Next week I need to feel some evil. 96 00:10:22,498 --> 00:10:26,750 I need to be repulsed. 97 00:10:26,785 --> 00:10:30,520 I need to feel sick to my stomach. 98 00:10:30,556 --> 00:10:33,557 I want to be inspired! 99 00:10:34,727 --> 00:10:37,627 Whatever. Okay. 100 00:10:37,663 --> 00:10:40,580 Let's speak in tongues for a hot sec and... 101 00:10:40,616 --> 00:10:43,617 show some respect. 102 00:10:48,524 --> 00:10:51,491 I don't have any money right now. 103 00:10:52,661 --> 00:10:54,895 Or any food from the looks of it. 104 00:10:59,618 --> 00:11:01,718 How long has it been since you ate, kid? 105 00:11:03,789 --> 00:11:06,623 What's it to you? 106 00:11:06,658 --> 00:11:11,828 Just... trying to help out a fellow believer. 107 00:11:11,864 --> 00:11:16,983 You know... after the service... 108 00:11:17,190 --> 00:11:19,853 I could fix you something. 109 00:11:19,888 --> 00:11:22,989 My place is only a couple of blocks from here. 110 00:11:23,250 --> 00:11:26,626 That's actually really nice of you. 111 00:11:26,662 --> 00:11:28,662 What can I say? 112 00:11:29,948 --> 00:11:32,716 Nobody's perfect. 113 00:11:51,820 --> 00:11:53,820 What's your name, kid? 114 00:11:57,826 --> 00:11:59,526 Michael. 115 00:11:59,628 --> 00:12:01,461 You must have been starving. 116 00:12:01,563 --> 00:12:03,680 I seen a lot of young people like you come to our church 117 00:12:03,782 --> 00:12:07,818 off the five stars on Yelp and the free doughnut at check-in. 118 00:12:07,853 --> 00:12:10,587 They all had the same look you do. 119 00:12:10,622 --> 00:12:13,490 Scared. Searching. 120 00:12:13,525 --> 00:12:16,560 Questioning what the hell this all means. 121 00:12:20,516 --> 00:12:23,650 So... what's your story? 122 00:12:23,685 --> 00:12:26,553 How did you end up all alone 123 00:12:26,588 --> 00:12:29,723 and at our beloved Satan's doorstep? 124 00:12:29,758 --> 00:12:31,892 My father abandoned me. 125 00:12:33,762 --> 00:12:36,546 And my mother tried to kill me. 126 00:12:36,582 --> 00:12:41,718 Humanity... is shit. 127 00:12:41,753 --> 00:12:45,689 This world is a twisted black hole 128 00:12:45,724 --> 00:12:47,591 of sin and chaos, 129 00:12:47,626 --> 00:12:52,462 and that's why Satanism is the way of the future. 130 00:12:52,498 --> 00:12:55,715 We are the fastest-growing religion in the world, 131 00:12:55,751 --> 00:12:58,785 so we need people like you... 132 00:12:58,821 --> 00:13:01,654 Bright, eager, the next generation... 133 00:13:01,657 --> 00:13:03,790 To help spread the word of Lucifer. 134 00:13:03,826 --> 00:13:06,593 'Cause here's the beautiful secret, babe. 135 00:13:06,628 --> 00:13:08,795 Once you embrace that at our core 136 00:13:08,831 --> 00:13:12,549 we are degenerate, rotten beings, 137 00:13:12,584 --> 00:13:17,888 every last one of us... you'll be free. 138 00:13:17,923 --> 00:13:22,859 Satanism... is about giving in to your urges, 139 00:13:22,895 --> 00:13:26,780 embracing sin, your true nature. 140 00:13:26,815 --> 00:13:29,649 I sold my soul to the Devil, 141 00:13:29,685 --> 00:13:33,687 and he gave me everything I ever wanted. 142 00:13:33,722 --> 00:13:35,822 You sold your soul? 143 00:13:35,858 --> 00:13:38,592 Did you sign a contract in blood? 144 00:13:38,627 --> 00:13:41,895 I made a deal in a Black Mass, as one does. 145 00:13:41,930 --> 00:13:43,747 Through prayer. 146 00:13:43,782 --> 00:13:46,416 And by prayer... I mean... 147 00:13:46,451 --> 00:13:48,652 killing people... it works. 148 00:13:48,687 --> 00:13:51,855 You're standing in the proof. 149 00:13:51,890 --> 00:13:57,494 I offered up my soul, and... he gave me all this. 150 00:13:57,529 --> 00:13:59,846 Riches beyond compare. 151 00:13:59,882 --> 00:14:03,450 I've got a... a La-Z-Boy, 152 00:14:03,485 --> 00:14:07,721 a-a cable package with all the premium channels. 153 00:14:07,756 --> 00:14:09,856 I shoot up heroin 154 00:14:09,892 --> 00:14:12,759 as much as I want, and I never get the sweats. 155 00:14:12,794 --> 00:14:15,896 And every Wednesday night Brad Pitt comes over 156 00:14:15,931 --> 00:14:17,948 and fucks me till the sun comes up. 157 00:14:19,751 --> 00:14:23,486 On Friday nights I get Ryan Reynolds. 158 00:14:24,856 --> 00:14:27,824 So that's all it is, then. 159 00:14:32,531 --> 00:14:35,582 Satan is carnal pleasure. 160 00:14:37,886 --> 00:14:39,819 Hell no. 161 00:14:39,855 --> 00:14:41,888 We've got a greater purpose. 162 00:14:41,924 --> 00:14:45,859 We are moving towards the beginning of the end. 163 00:14:45,894 --> 00:14:47,861 Our savior is coming. 164 00:14:47,896 --> 00:14:50,680 The spawn of Satan will... 165 00:14:50,716 --> 00:14:53,750 lead us off the cliff and into the end-times. 166 00:14:53,785 --> 00:14:57,621 We just have to make things terrible enough for him to rise. 167 00:14:57,656 --> 00:15:01,791 We are the fetid, rancid, contaminated soil 168 00:15:01,827 --> 00:15:05,528 from which he will bloom. 169 00:15:05,564 --> 00:15:09,849 And then plunge us in eternal darkness 170 00:15:09,885 --> 00:15:14,621 so that we can walk with Satan in eternal hellfire. 171 00:15:15,991 --> 00:15:18,925 I hate to break it to you... 172 00:15:18,961 --> 00:15:21,928 but you're waiting in vain. 173 00:15:25,160 --> 00:15:27,751 What are you talking about? 174 00:15:31,690 --> 00:15:34,591 I'm the one you're waiting for. 175 00:15:34,626 --> 00:15:36,760 How dare you blaspheme! 176 00:15:36,795 --> 00:15:42,549 Well, before you kill me, dear believer... see me. 177 00:15:51,460 --> 00:15:53,727 Hail Satan! 178 00:15:53,762 --> 00:15:56,646 Our savior has risen! 179 00:16:00,919 --> 00:16:03,420 ♪ Semper crescis ♪ 180 00:16:03,455 --> 00:16:05,488 ♪ Aut decrescis ♪ 181 00:16:05,524 --> 00:16:06,723 ♪ Vita ♪ 182 00:16:06,758 --> 00:16:10,794 ♪ Detestabilis ♪ 183 00:16:10,829 --> 00:16:12,829 ♪ Nunc obdurat ♪ 184 00:16:12,864 --> 00:16:14,914 ♪ Et tunc curat ♪ 185 00:16:14,950 --> 00:16:17,584 ♪ Ludo mentis ♪ 186 00:16:17,619 --> 00:16:20,553 ♪ Aciem ♪ 187 00:16:20,589 --> 00:16:22,589 ♪ Sors salutis ♪ 188 00:16:22,624 --> 00:16:24,724 ♪ Et virtutis ♪ 189 00:16:24,760 --> 00:16:25,925 ♪ Michi nunc ♪ 190 00:16:25,961 --> 00:16:29,596 ♪ Contraria ♪ 191 00:16:29,631 --> 00:16:31,748 ♪ Quod per sortem ♪ 192 00:16:31,783 --> 00:16:33,883 ♪ Sternit fortem ♪ 193 00:16:33,919 --> 00:16:37,420 ♪ Mecum omnes ♪ 194 00:16:37,456 --> 00:16:40,724 ♪ Plangite! ♪ 195 00:16:42,561 --> 00:16:44,761 Ladies and gentlemen, 196 00:16:44,796 --> 00:16:47,847 the volunteer All-Sinners choir! 197 00:16:51,787 --> 00:16:55,755 They really know how to raise some hell, don't they, kids? 198 00:16:55,791 --> 00:16:58,692 Hail Satan! 199 00:16:58,727 --> 00:17:02,529 And, you ask, why does it rain every time they sing? 200 00:17:02,564 --> 00:17:05,749 Because God is pissing in his pants. 201 00:17:05,784 --> 00:17:08,485 Hail Satan! 202 00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:11,654 Well, now that we're in the mood, 203 00:17:11,690 --> 00:17:16,526 are you ready for an old-fashioned human sacrifice? 204 00:17:16,561 --> 00:17:20,814 Yeah! Black Mass... you are everything! 205 00:17:29,925 --> 00:17:32,726 This is Leticia. 206 00:17:32,761 --> 00:17:34,728 She is a social worker. 207 00:17:34,763 --> 00:17:37,614 And she's dedicated her entire life 208 00:17:37,649 --> 00:17:40,650 to easing the suffering of those less fortunate. 209 00:17:40,685 --> 00:17:42,652 Bitch, please. 210 00:17:44,489 --> 00:17:45,822 Theodore... 211 00:17:45,857 --> 00:17:49,859 is a lifelong member of Doctors Without Borders. 212 00:17:49,895 --> 00:17:53,413 Isn't that just too precious? 213 00:17:54,883 --> 00:17:57,784 Minus the two of them, I think the world will be 214 00:17:57,819 --> 00:17:59,786 a little bit shittier. 215 00:17:59,821 --> 00:18:02,856 So why waste any more time? 216 00:18:05,627 --> 00:18:08,495 The honor of today's killing goes 217 00:18:08,530 --> 00:18:10,513 to a new member... Phil. 218 00:18:10,549 --> 00:18:13,516 Go, Phil! 219 00:18:13,552 --> 00:18:17,587 Phil, tell us a little something about yourself. 220 00:18:17,622 --> 00:18:20,957 Well, I was the chief accountant at Gawker 221 00:18:20,992 --> 00:18:22,792 before, you know... 222 00:18:22,828 --> 00:18:25,929 - that whole thing. - Ugh! Ouch. 223 00:18:25,964 --> 00:18:28,481 Then my girlfriend left me, 224 00:18:28,517 --> 00:18:31,785 and my life turned to shit... 225 00:18:31,820 --> 00:18:34,621 until I saw the darkness. 226 00:18:34,656 --> 00:18:37,824 Are you ready to pledge your soul to Satan? 227 00:18:37,859 --> 00:18:40,560 Am I ever. 228 00:18:41,630 --> 00:18:42,862 They're all yours. 229 00:18:42,898 --> 00:18:45,415 Hail Satan! 230 00:18:45,450 --> 00:18:47,517 Hail Satan! 231 00:18:47,552 --> 00:18:48,751 Hail Satan. 232 00:18:48,787 --> 00:18:51,488 Don't let me down, Phil. 233 00:18:52,891 --> 00:18:54,657 Wait! 234 00:18:55,727 --> 00:18:58,495 This honor belongs to someone else. 235 00:18:58,530 --> 00:19:00,847 Someone else? 236 00:19:00,882 --> 00:19:02,715 His name is Michael. 237 00:19:02,751 --> 00:19:06,586 He's... new here. 238 00:19:08,790 --> 00:19:10,857 Well, even if he's willing to sell his soul, 239 00:19:10,892 --> 00:19:12,826 why should he go before...? 240 00:19:12,861 --> 00:19:17,480 Michael doesn't need to sell his soul. 241 00:19:21,686 --> 00:19:26,890 The end-times are upon us. 242 00:19:31,763 --> 00:19:32,862 Behold. 243 00:19:35,550 --> 00:19:37,417 The mark of the beast. 244 00:19:39,554 --> 00:19:44,457 Is it possible that... you're the one? 245 00:19:44,492 --> 00:19:45,558 I am. 246 00:19:45,594 --> 00:19:48,628 Hail Satan. 247 00:19:57,923 --> 00:20:03,593 ♪ O Fortuna ♪ 248 00:20:03,628 --> 00:20:09,449 ♪ Velut luna ♪ 249 00:20:10,652 --> 00:20:12,619 ♪ Statu ♪ 250 00:20:12,654 --> 00:20:17,857 ♪ Variabilis. ♪ 251 00:20:27,619 --> 00:20:31,454 - Hail Satan! - Hail Satan! 252 00:20:47,889 --> 00:20:50,857 Is it too spicy? 253 00:20:50,892 --> 00:20:53,826 No. It's good. 254 00:20:53,862 --> 00:20:55,662 Oh, thank the Dark Lord. 255 00:20:55,697 --> 00:20:57,580 It's my mother's recipe. 256 00:20:57,616 --> 00:20:59,482 Now try the macaroni salad. 257 00:20:59,517 --> 00:21:01,384 No, the turkey meatballs. 258 00:21:01,419 --> 00:21:02,819 May I touch your hair? 259 00:21:02,854 --> 00:21:05,488 Let the kid eat. 260 00:21:05,523 --> 00:21:07,490 O-Or is something wrong? 261 00:21:07,525 --> 00:21:10,593 What can we get you? What can we do? 262 00:21:10,629 --> 00:21:13,880 I just think everyone should do what you normally do. 263 00:21:13,949 --> 00:21:16,549 Have fun. 264 00:21:16,584 --> 00:21:20,820 Enjoy your Wednesday potluck dinner like always. 265 00:21:20,855 --> 00:21:22,488 You heard him. 266 00:21:22,524 --> 00:21:26,492 Our guest of honor eats at his own pace. 267 00:21:31,483 --> 00:21:35,652 Though I can personally vouch for the spinach lasagna. 268 00:21:35,687 --> 00:21:39,555 It would be the honor of my life to watch you eat it. 269 00:21:39,591 --> 00:21:43,559 So, what happens next? 270 00:21:45,497 --> 00:21:48,548 Probably your lasagna. 271 00:21:48,583 --> 00:21:53,386 No, I meant on the global annihilation front. 272 00:21:53,421 --> 00:21:54,520 What do we do first? 273 00:21:54,556 --> 00:21:56,622 When do we do it? 274 00:21:56,658 --> 00:21:58,791 I'm not sure. 275 00:21:58,827 --> 00:22:01,694 What do you mean you're not sure? 276 00:22:01,730 --> 00:22:06,516 I don't know what to do, where to begin. 277 00:22:06,551 --> 00:22:07,784 But you're the Antichrist. 278 00:22:07,819 --> 00:22:10,653 Which people won't let me forget. 279 00:22:10,689 --> 00:22:12,689 Everyone keeps saying that I'm special, 280 00:22:12,724 --> 00:22:15,525 that I'm the only one who can bring about the end-times, 281 00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:18,494 but nobody gave me a fucking instruction manual. 282 00:22:18,530 --> 00:22:20,480 And the one person who always helped me, 283 00:22:20,548 --> 00:22:22,749 who I could always turn to for advice, 284 00:22:22,784 --> 00:22:25,451 she's gone now. 285 00:22:32,460 --> 00:22:34,560 I have no one. 286 00:22:34,596 --> 00:22:36,629 Oh. 287 00:22:36,664 --> 00:22:40,416 I-I think there's some people you need to see. 288 00:22:42,787 --> 00:22:44,554 Who? 289 00:22:44,589 --> 00:22:46,789 Just trust me. 290 00:22:46,825 --> 00:22:51,661 We are on the precipice of oblivion, Michael. 291 00:22:51,696 --> 00:22:56,649 Now is not the time to bury yourself in doubt. 292 00:22:56,684 --> 00:23:02,422 This person who helped you, what was her name? 293 00:23:02,457 --> 00:23:05,458 Ms. Miriam Mead. 294 00:23:05,493 --> 00:23:10,446 We have access to private search engines 295 00:23:10,482 --> 00:23:12,882 that can find anyone. 296 00:23:12,917 --> 00:23:16,686 And... there she is. 297 00:23:16,721 --> 00:23:18,621 We'll just go and pick her up. 298 00:23:18,656 --> 00:23:21,624 It's not possible. 299 00:23:21,659 --> 00:23:24,460 I'm not powerful enough to bring her back. 300 00:23:24,529 --> 00:23:27,580 Not anymore, at least. 301 00:23:28,633 --> 00:23:29,715 She's dead. 302 00:23:30,752 --> 00:23:32,585 Dead? 303 00:23:34,823 --> 00:23:38,658 That's something we can work around. 304 00:23:43,531 --> 00:23:48,518 You are the son of Satan. 305 00:23:48,553 --> 00:23:57,860 There is no one or no thing you cannot have. 306 00:23:57,896 --> 00:24:00,446 I don't know why 307 00:24:00,481 --> 00:24:02,682 you won't just tell me exactly where we're going. 308 00:24:02,717 --> 00:24:05,551 I'm sorry. I'm already a little freaked out 309 00:24:05,587 --> 00:24:09,489 I've said too much. And you being who you are... 310 00:24:09,524 --> 00:24:11,657 It's okay. 311 00:24:11,693 --> 00:24:13,593 You don't have to be nervous around me. 312 00:24:13,628 --> 00:24:15,628 I'm the same guy I was when you met me. 313 00:24:15,663 --> 00:24:19,448 That is so not true. 314 00:24:20,485 --> 00:24:22,451 Just tell me. 315 00:24:22,487 --> 00:24:23,920 Okay. 316 00:24:23,955 --> 00:24:27,490 We are, like, this secret network. 317 00:24:27,525 --> 00:24:30,660 We all know each other. 318 00:24:30,695 --> 00:24:33,729 A secret network of people who sold their souls. 319 00:24:33,765 --> 00:24:35,414 Yeah. 320 00:24:35,450 --> 00:24:37,383 And... 321 00:24:37,418 --> 00:24:40,386 if you think about this network like it's a hotel, 322 00:24:40,421 --> 00:24:43,856 then I am taking you to the penthouse. 323 00:24:43,892 --> 00:24:46,559 No one is gonna pass up a chance 324 00:24:46,594 --> 00:24:50,579 to meet the true son of the most foul. 325 00:24:50,582 --> 00:24:54,634 If there is anyone who can help get you back on track, they can. 326 00:25:18,826 --> 00:25:20,893 You're not coming with me? 327 00:25:20,929 --> 00:25:23,629 They're only interested in you. 328 00:25:23,665 --> 00:25:27,650 Just... go up the path to the entrance. 329 00:25:27,685 --> 00:25:30,720 I really think you're gonna be impressed. 330 00:25:30,755 --> 00:25:33,689 At least I hope so. 331 00:25:33,725 --> 00:25:36,726 Why are you so good to me? 332 00:25:36,761 --> 00:25:40,396 I've waited for you my whole life. 333 00:25:40,431 --> 00:25:42,648 We all have. 334 00:25:42,684 --> 00:25:43,849 Could I ask you a favor? 335 00:25:43,885 --> 00:25:45,518 Anything. 336 00:25:45,553 --> 00:25:49,555 When you finally talk to your father, 337 00:25:49,591 --> 00:25:53,426 could you maybe put in a good word for me? 338 00:25:53,461 --> 00:25:55,394 When I get to Hell, 339 00:25:55,430 --> 00:25:57,813 I want to be in the lowest circle. 340 00:25:57,849 --> 00:25:59,649 Circle? 341 00:25:59,684 --> 00:26:00,816 However it's structured, 342 00:26:00,852 --> 00:26:03,586 I want to be in the worst part. 343 00:26:03,621 --> 00:26:05,521 Or the best part. 344 00:26:05,556 --> 00:26:09,492 I want to burn in blistering fire 345 00:26:09,527 --> 00:26:12,728 for all eternity in service. 346 00:26:13,765 --> 00:26:15,648 I'll see what I can do. 347 00:26:15,683 --> 00:26:17,917 - Okay? - Okay. 348 00:26:20,755 --> 00:26:22,822 Hail Satan! 349 00:26:46,197 --> 00:26:48,800 Tell me that wasn't the last of it. 350 00:26:48,182 --> 00:26:50,182 I ordered more, bruh. How you coming? 351 00:26:50,285 --> 00:26:52,840 Almost done. 352 00:26:53,121 --> 00:26:55,870 Okay. 353 00:26:55,122 --> 00:26:57,560 Let's try 354 00:27:07,218 --> 00:27:10,119 Holy shit, that's way better. What'd you do? 355 00:27:10,154 --> 00:27:12,149 Eh, I tweaked the feedback sensors on the finger joints 356 00:27:12,156 --> 00:27:13,956 and gave the lateral servos a flush. 357 00:27:13,992 --> 00:27:15,353 The next auto-update, all our Tiffany and Bambi users 358 00:27:15,360 --> 00:27:17,426 are going to be very happy. 359 00:27:17,462 --> 00:27:20,296 Fuck yeah, bro. I'm pitching a tent just looking at that. 360 00:27:20,331 --> 00:27:22,114 Mm. 361 00:27:22,150 --> 00:27:24,150 - Oh, shit! - Whoa, whoa! 362 00:27:24,185 --> 00:27:25,985 - Oh! - Oh, oh! Well, 363 00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:28,421 5,000 of our clients just got their dicks ripped off. 364 00:27:28,456 --> 00:27:31,900 It's okay, it's okay. 365 00:27:31,125 --> 00:27:32,958 - I know what the problem is. - Yeah, I know 366 00:27:32,994 --> 00:27:34,927 what my problem is... I need another fix. 367 00:27:34,962 --> 00:27:37,163 Hey, babe, we're spiraling here. 368 00:27:37,198 --> 00:27:38,914 Do you have an ETA? 369 00:27:38,950 --> 00:27:40,182 Babe? Babe? 370 00:27:40,218 --> 00:27:42,840 Babe? 371 00:27:42,120 --> 00:27:44,320 It's just arriving now. 372 00:27:44,355 --> 00:27:47,156 Terribly sorry for the delay. 373 00:27:47,191 --> 00:27:49,258 I'm so sorry, Ms. Venable. 374 00:27:49,293 --> 00:27:51,927 There was a bad accident on the 101. 375 00:27:51,963 --> 00:27:54,347 Not as bad as the accident that brought you into the world, 376 00:27:54,382 --> 00:27:55,981 I'm sure. 377 00:27:56,170 --> 00:27:58,170 I got back as fast as I could. 378 00:27:58,520 --> 00:28:00,860 You don't have to insult me again. 379 00:28:00,121 --> 00:28:02,355 I certainly don't have to. 380 00:28:02,390 --> 00:28:08,327 But why deny myself one of life's simple pleasures? 381 00:28:08,363 --> 00:28:11,113 Now set that down 382 00:28:11,149 --> 00:28:15,985 and summon all your brain cells to clear your desk. 383 00:28:18,389 --> 00:28:21,223 Y-You can't treat people like this. 384 00:28:21,259 --> 00:28:23,225 I'm gonna report you to HR. 385 00:28:23,261 --> 00:28:27,980 I am HR, bitch. 386 00:28:28,150 --> 00:28:31,283 And everything else that matters around here, too. 387 00:28:31,319 --> 00:28:36,889 Now, do me a favor and get the fuck out of my sight. 388 00:28:54,392 --> 00:28:56,258 Dude, this easy listening music 389 00:28:56,294 --> 00:28:58,270 you're always playing is not helping. 390 00:28:58,620 --> 00:28:59,929 How many times do I have to tell you, 391 00:28:59,964 --> 00:29:01,964 don't knock the playlist, the playlist is everything. 392 00:29:01,983 --> 00:29:05,184 Light rock is soothing for me; it is calming, it is focusing. 393 00:29:05,219 --> 00:29:08,254 Other than cocaine, it is my cocaine. 394 00:29:08,289 --> 00:29:10,423 Ah. Yes. 395 00:29:10,458 --> 00:29:13,259 Oh, babe, you're a lifesaver. 396 00:29:13,294 --> 00:29:15,127 Hey, I was working. 397 00:29:15,163 --> 00:29:18,180 Oh, shit. I'm sorry. 398 00:29:18,216 --> 00:29:20,116 I forgot. 399 00:29:20,151 --> 00:29:24,320 ♪ Oh, can't you see the morning after? ♪ 400 00:29:24,355 --> 00:29:26,155 Ha-ha. 401 00:29:31,262 --> 00:29:33,162 Easy. 402 00:29:33,197 --> 00:29:34,280 How do you guys not OD? 403 00:29:34,348 --> 00:29:37,116 Oh... hell if I know. 404 00:29:37,151 --> 00:29:39,985 - Devil of a mystery. - The package 405 00:29:40,210 --> 00:29:42,955 of dog feces is on its way to Mr. Zuckerberg's estate... 406 00:29:43,240 --> 00:29:44,323 Fourth-class mail, of course. 407 00:29:44,358 --> 00:29:47,159 Rihanna's people called... She'll be available all weekend, 408 00:29:47,195 --> 00:29:49,161 and I've already purchased the island. 409 00:29:49,197 --> 00:29:52,470 - Oh, nice. - Yes. Ms. Venable. 410 00:29:52,830 --> 00:29:54,830 What would our lives be without you? 411 00:29:54,118 --> 00:29:56,118 Oh, I just can't imagine. 412 00:29:56,154 --> 00:29:58,287 A lot less purple. 413 00:29:58,322 --> 00:30:00,289 Yeah, purple's Ms. Venable's thing. 414 00:30:00,324 --> 00:30:02,858 Just as self-abasement is yours. 415 00:30:08,282 --> 00:30:09,348 Zinger. Yeah. 416 00:30:09,383 --> 00:30:11,250 Lastly, the front desk 417 00:30:11,285 --> 00:30:14,860 says there's a gentleman here to see you. 418 00:30:16,900 --> 00:30:19,124 Apparently he claims to have arranged this meeting 419 00:30:19,160 --> 00:30:21,126 - with you himself. - Uh, yeah. 420 00:30:21,162 --> 00:30:24,313 If you could let him in the private elevator, please? 421 00:30:27,251 --> 00:30:29,118 Certainly. 422 00:30:36,994 --> 00:30:39,929 Don't ever call me "babe." 423 00:30:44,318 --> 00:30:49,121 Sometimes, I swear, she hates our guts. 424 00:31:14,165 --> 00:31:15,948 Dude. 425 00:31:15,983 --> 00:31:18,150 What's up? 426 00:31:18,185 --> 00:31:20,352 Come on in. Dying to meet you. 427 00:31:20,388 --> 00:31:22,288 Yeah, Madelyn's really been talking you up. 428 00:31:22,323 --> 00:31:26,191 That lady is whacked, right? 429 00:31:26,227 --> 00:31:29,962 But she seems totally convinced that you're The One. 430 00:31:29,997 --> 00:31:32,109 No offense, but I thought you'd be a little bit more jacked. 431 00:31:32,116 --> 00:31:34,110 Like, I was picturing you totally ripped, like The... 432 00:31:34,180 --> 00:31:36,185 Like The Rock when he was, you know, The Rock. 433 00:31:36,220 --> 00:31:38,530 Yeah, that's, like, stereotypical, dude. 434 00:31:38,890 --> 00:31:41,991 - What do you mean? - Yeah, that's not cool. 435 00:31:42,260 --> 00:31:43,259 Uh, what's your name again? 436 00:31:43,294 --> 00:31:45,261 Michael. 437 00:31:45,296 --> 00:31:48,914 - Langdon. - Michael Langdon. 438 00:31:48,950 --> 00:31:50,950 I mean, got to admit, that's a little weak, right? 439 00:31:50,985 --> 00:31:52,251 Yeah. 440 00:31:52,286 --> 00:31:54,363 Shouldn't you be like Beelzebub or some shit like that? 441 00:31:55,356 --> 00:31:57,990 Old Scratch? 442 00:31:58,250 --> 00:32:00,590 - Oh, dude, dude, dude. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 443 00:32:00,940 --> 00:32:01,255 - Wait. No, no, Dude. Dude. - Hey, hey, hey, hey. Ho. 444 00:32:01,262 --> 00:32:02,928 - Dude, dude. No, no, no. - Ho. 445 00:32:02,964 --> 00:32:04,341 No, no, no. Uh, we-we-we believe you. 446 00:32:04,348 --> 00:32:06,410 It... you know, I thought I'd be, like, pissing my pants 447 00:32:06,417 --> 00:32:11,420 or something, and... I am dry as the Sahara, bro. 448 00:32:11,455 --> 00:32:13,289 Yeah. You got to look at it from our shoes here. 449 00:32:13,324 --> 00:32:16,225 I mean, how do we know you're the Antichrist? 450 00:32:16,260 --> 00:32:18,160 Yeah, how do we know? 451 00:32:35,229 --> 00:32:37,196 Yeah, I mean, that's cool, 452 00:32:37,231 --> 00:32:39,348 but it's just a tattoo on your scalp. 453 00:32:39,383 --> 00:32:42,184 No. It's true. I can feel the darkness. 454 00:32:42,219 --> 00:32:44,286 It's making me sick and it's coming from him. 455 00:32:48,326 --> 00:32:50,359 - Oh, shit! - Holy shit! 456 00:32:57,151 --> 00:32:58,884 - Hail Satan. - Hail Satan. 457 00:32:58,919 --> 00:33:01,120 Hail Satan. 458 00:33:01,155 --> 00:33:04,890 - Hail Satan. - Satan, hail. Satan, hail. 459 00:33:04,125 --> 00:33:06,910 Dude, we owe everything to your old man. Do you know 460 00:33:06,127 --> 00:33:08,122 how much time we wasted doing the Silicon Valley grind 461 00:33:08,129 --> 00:33:11,130 - before we found our faith? - For years we worked 20 hours 462 00:33:11,480 --> 00:33:13,430 a day in R&D for a company whose nondisclosure agreements 463 00:33:13,500 --> 00:33:14,144 prevent us from mentioning by name. 464 00:33:14,151 --> 00:33:15,279 But did Elon give us any credit? 465 00:33:15,286 --> 00:33:16,380 Any opportunity for advancement? 466 00:33:16,387 --> 00:33:18,387 - No! - No! The fix is in, man. 467 00:33:18,422 --> 00:33:20,956 The world is run by prep school failsons and Russian oligarchs. 468 00:33:20,991 --> 00:33:22,257 Everyone else just slaves away 469 00:33:22,293 --> 00:33:23,926 trying to make these rich assholes richer. 470 00:33:23,961 --> 00:33:25,940 - Fuck that shit. - Fuck it. 471 00:33:25,129 --> 00:33:26,428 - Fuck it. - Fuck it. 472 00:33:26,464 --> 00:33:28,142 Why put in the work when there's no reward, right? 473 00:33:28,149 --> 00:33:29,381 And then we learned the secret. 474 00:33:29,417 --> 00:33:31,283 The politicians, the billionaires, the elite... 475 00:33:31,318 --> 00:33:33,419 They all made a deal to work in his service. 476 00:33:33,454 --> 00:33:35,154 - My dad. - Exactly. 477 00:33:35,189 --> 00:33:36,922 That's when we took the plunge, too. 478 00:33:36,957 --> 00:33:38,957 Sold our souls. Did the whole Black Mass thing. 479 00:33:38,993 --> 00:33:43,295 Now, we own a robotics company worth... Billions. 480 00:33:43,330 --> 00:33:45,914 We inhale booger sugar like it's fucking oxygen, 481 00:33:45,950 --> 00:33:48,884 and we bang Victoria's Secret models every Tuesday. 482 00:33:48,919 --> 00:33:50,850 Fuck yeah. 483 00:33:50,121 --> 00:33:52,254 Thursdays we get Ryan Reynolds. 484 00:33:52,289 --> 00:33:55,924 The point is, it would be an honor to play even 485 00:33:55,960 --> 00:33:57,926 a small role in bringing the cosmic skid mark 486 00:33:57,962 --> 00:33:59,962 that is Planet Earth to a fiery end. 487 00:33:59,997 --> 00:34:01,947 We are your servants, Michael. 488 00:34:01,982 --> 00:34:03,982 Now and forever. 489 00:34:04,180 --> 00:34:07,152 How can we help, even in the most microscopic of ways? 490 00:34:07,188 --> 00:34:09,288 I lost someone very dear to me. 491 00:34:09,323 --> 00:34:11,390 My one true ally. 492 00:34:11,425 --> 00:34:14,993 You want to help? Bring her back. 493 00:34:26,900 --> 00:34:28,957 You came to the right place. 494 00:34:28,993 --> 00:34:32,361 Our AI tech makes HAL 9000 look like a fucking abacus. 495 00:34:32,396 --> 00:34:34,129 We can whip you up 496 00:34:34,165 --> 00:34:36,115 a new right-hand lickety-split, player. 497 00:34:36,150 --> 00:34:37,282 You can? 498 00:34:37,318 --> 00:34:38,951 Tell us about her. 499 00:34:38,986 --> 00:34:40,953 Everything you can remember. 500 00:34:45,392 --> 00:34:50,280 No. We owe him more than this. 501 00:34:50,640 --> 00:34:53,282 She's gonna be identical, down to her final pube. 502 00:34:53,317 --> 00:34:55,150 No, it's not good enough, bro. 503 00:34:55,186 --> 00:34:57,119 Not when your client is the spawn of Satan. 504 00:34:57,154 --> 00:34:58,287 Think. 505 00:34:58,322 --> 00:35:00,222 - I'm thinking! - Think harder! 506 00:35:00,257 --> 00:35:02,257 - I'm thinking! - Think faster! 507 00:35:04,395 --> 00:35:07,362 We need to make her Mossad. 508 00:35:07,398 --> 00:35:10,820 - Yeah! - Mossad! 509 00:35:10,117 --> 00:35:11,250 Mossad! 510 00:35:44,185 --> 00:35:47,520 240 terabytes of memory, 511 00:35:47,870 --> 00:35:50,222 over 11,000 processor cores. 512 00:35:50,257 --> 00:35:53,125 She could crush Watson at Jeopardy! and kick the asses 513 00:35:53,160 --> 00:35:56,128 of every roided actor in the Expendables franchise. 514 00:35:56,163 --> 00:35:57,913 She's amazing. 515 00:35:57,948 --> 00:36:00,282 Why is she so cold? 516 00:36:00,317 --> 00:36:03,218 Oh, that'll change with the flip of her "on" switch. 517 00:36:03,254 --> 00:36:05,954 She's got a nanowire-based lithium ion battery. 518 00:36:05,990 --> 00:36:07,417 Basically the Energizer Bunny's wet dream. 519 00:36:07,424 --> 00:36:10,993 We fire her up, she goes on forever. 520 00:36:11,280 --> 00:36:13,395 Just don't tell her she's a biomechanical humanoid. 521 00:36:13,430 --> 00:36:15,347 At least not at first. 522 00:36:15,382 --> 00:36:18,183 It'll send her into the mother of all existential crises. 523 00:36:18,219 --> 00:36:21,190 She could end up killing herself, maybe others. 524 00:36:21,550 --> 00:36:23,121 Seriously, I've seen it happen. 525 00:36:23,157 --> 00:36:26,291 Not worth the headache. 526 00:36:27,461 --> 00:36:34,316 And now... Kineros Robotics proudly presents... 527 00:36:34,351 --> 00:36:39,187 the Battle-Ax... Miriam Mead 2.0. 528 00:36:41,926 --> 00:36:45,193 Now, don't expect her to be her old self right away. 529 00:36:45,229 --> 00:36:47,262 It's gonna take her time. 530 00:36:47,298 --> 00:36:49,114 She needs to learn from you. 531 00:36:49,149 --> 00:36:50,949 Build a rapport. 532 00:36:50,985 --> 00:36:53,118 Like any relationship. 533 00:37:18,362 --> 00:37:21,630 How I've missed you, Michael. 534 00:37:21,980 --> 00:37:23,810 Captioning sponsored by 20th CENTURY FOX 535 00:37:23,117 --> 00:37:25,233 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 38034

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