Original subtitles

[slow music]

[Sean] I think what I was searching for was family.

Like human connection, that emotional connection,

that family, that community, it's all the same thing to me.

It's that yelling into the void

and hoping someone like-minded likes the same stuff

that you do to make you feel like you're not alone

in the world.

[crowd cheering]

[Sean] So I just wanted someone to listen to me.

[crowd] We want Jack!

We want Jack!

We want Jack!

We want Jack!

We want Jack!

We want Jack!

[Sean] The kid who grew up here never thought I could come this far.

I'll never quantify it.

The more I think about it, the more it's gonna be like,

yeah, why are people here?

I don't know. [laughs]

I'd like to think they're here for the same reasons I am.

[thrilling music]

- [whip cracking] - Top of the morning to you, laddies,

my name is Jacksepticeye and welcome.

People used to say to me, and what does he do?

And I said I don't know what he's doin'.

I said, "You may just look up YouTube and find out."

[Sean] 24 million people. [laughs]

I can't stop smiling.

[Jack Black] Oh my God, it's Jacksepticeye!

Jacksepticeye, ladies and gentleman.

- [crowd clapping] - He's a YouTube personality.

Oh, okay.

Thanks for havin' me on your show.

Well, you've got your rectangular screen,

there's a game, he's playing it, and he's commenting.

Oh, this has fuckin' "Bad News Bears"

written all over it.

[Malcolm] And they go, "I still don't get it.

He plays video games

and people watch him in the billions?" Yeah.

Who even needs a tour?

- You do. - [upbeat piano music]

[Brent] Live shows and touring, at it's core,

is the ultimate combination of business and story

and themes and drama and excitement and fandom,

and it's just this train that's on a track,

and there's no stopping it,

and truly, the show must go on.

And if something is not working...

- Check, check. - ...failure is not an option,

you just have to sort of figure it out,

and that's terrifying and exciting at the same time.

[luggage crashing]

- [people clapping] - [Sean laughing]

[upbeat piano music]

[Sean] We are in beautiful Copenhagen!

- In Denmark. - [whistling]

Spooky shit, huh?

[Sean] This is my favorite venue.

Not only is the stage huge to fit an entire orchestra on it,

but it also has the coolest general aesthetic,

but it's angled a different ways.

That's nice to be able to like pick sight lines

and be active and walk back and forth

across the stage all the time.

So fuckin' cool!

[man] What are you the most excited about for the show?

I would say everything.

[women laughing]

I learned how to do it once

and you kinda just get the rhythm.

- Everybody in! - [man] Everybody in.

[Sean] Everybody in!

You guys are the best,

and you guys make this show much easier

than it ever would be.

And I love you all and I'm very happy that we're all here

and you're all very hard workers and I'm proud of you.

[crowd] We want Jack!

- Let's have a good show! - We want Jack!

We want Jack!

We want Jack!

We want Jack!

- We want Jack! - [announcer] Ladies and gentlemen,

introducing the How Did We Get Here live show tour.

Starring Jacksepticeye.

[crowd cheering]

[announcer] Also starring Jacksepticeye.

Written & directed by Jacksepticeye.

And for the first time ever, Jacksepticeye.

So sit back, strap yourselves in,

and finish your conversations.

Yes, I do mean you two there in the middle row.

Yeah, stop talking, and get ready

for a night full of laughs, tears, happiness.

[crowd cheering]

[clears throat] Oh!

Um...

Hi. Um...

- Why did it cut to me? - [crowd laughs]

What happened to the rest of the video?

What?

What are we gonna do now?

Do we--do we have a backup? Can we--

can we get it rollin' again?

Oh, God, um...

Okay, hold on!

- Look. - [keys jingling]

- Shiny keys! - [crowd laughing]

Shiny key--

No? Fine.

What about this guy?

- [pig snorting] - [crowd laughing]

He's good, right? [laughs]

- [pig snorting] - [laughs] I love him.

No?

- Tough crowd. - [trumpet playing]

[crowd cheering]

How to entertain a live audience.

Create the illusion of direct eye contact?

[crowd laughing]

Is it working?

Okay, I'm gonna start drawin' a picture,

and you guys have to guess what it is.

[crowd laughing]

Okay, none of these...

None of these things are workin',

and we're not gettin' the video back up.

So let's make a deal, okay? How about this?

If you come out from behind your screens,

I'll come out from behind mine.

- Deal? - [crowd cheering]

Okay!

Let's do this thing then!

- [rock music] - [crowd cheering]

Top of the mornin' to you, laddies!

[crowd cheering]

Oh, you know I had to do it immediately.

- [crowd laughing] - Had to get one in.

Pander to the audience, check, done already.

- [crowd laughing] - Oh, man.

Jesus Christ, this place is fuckin' nuts!

- [crowd laughing] - There's people everywhere!

[chuckles] Welcome, everybody, to the How Did We Get Here tour.

[crowd cheering]

How's everyone doin'?

[crowd cheering]

Okay, no, not all at the same time, Jesus, okay.

How are you doing?

- Hungry. - [crowd laughing]

Okay, weird answer. How are you doin'?

- Tired. - [crowd laughing]

Okay, Jesus, all right.

Well, how about I try and perk you up a little bit, shall I?

[crowd cheering]

So this show, How Did We Get Here,

it's gonna be a journey through my life.

It's gonna be a journey of life itself.

From the start of my life to whatever the fuck this is.

[crowd laughing]

But it's not just gonna be my story.

It's not just gonna be my journey.

It's gonna be all of our journey,

because we're all in this together.

Kind of like High School Musical.

[crowd laughing]

[upbeat music]

[Sean] The tour itself took on a life of its own

and became a journey as well.

When we go around America, each state is different,

and everyone has their own accent and their own way of life,

but everything still feels like quintessentially American.

Everybody thinks of America as being large,

but you get there, you realize how absolutely massive it is.

You have bigger places, you have bigger cities,

you have bigger personalities, you have bigger people.

You're just all about being the best at everything.

As we got out on the road,

we went to visit so many different places,

and make so many new friends.

We hit East coast and then Midwest and then West coast.

[crowd laughing]

V-man!

And we got a good bunch of people on this trip,

which is very, very important if anyone's gonna tour,

I think, because it's between the shows

that most of everything on tour happens.

Oh, no! Oh, no, that's worse than Hotmail.

[Sean] If you have a good bunch of people with you,

they'll energize you like a good battery.

One of my favorite moments is actually in New Orleans

when we were all outside the bus in the evening

'cause we had the day off, was that our first day off?

And New Orleans is the most bizarre town

I've ever been in.

[jazzy music]

[Sean] You go from like super old school into the new,

and that was the day when everyone kind of relaxed

and got to know each other a bit better.

Oh, good food!

[music continues]

[Sean] We came back and Vernon was going around on a city bike

just circling the bus.

And Justin and JP and I were all just out

throwing a football around.

And there was just somethin' about that experience

where I was just kinda sittin' there goin' yeah, this is fun.

This is cozy and nice,

and everyone's gettin' along very well.

And when we get back onto the bus,

everyone just hangs out and gets to know each other

and talks about each other's lives.

Yeah, it can be hard to make friends

when I'm just workin' at home all the time.

Tour kind of flipped that on its head.

I got to step out of my cave for a bit,

and really get to know everyone.

Oh, where is it? Put me in, Coach!

- Oh! - [men laughing]

- [man] Get in there. - Beanie Babies?

Oh, that's horrifying!

[Sean] Let's go all the way back to the very beginning.

Billions and billions of years ago,

the universe was formed when--

- I'm just jokin'. - [crowd laughing]

28 years ago, I burst forth into the universe!

[crowd laughing]

I was born into a pretty big family.

So there's seven people in my family.

I have my two parents, I have two older brothers,

and two older sisters.

Which makes me the baby of the family.

[crowd awwing]

Thanks, guys, I tried real hard to come last.

[crowd laughing]

[dog barking]

This is where I grew up.

This is where I was born into,

and lived for 16 years?

This is so weird, I don't even know what I'm looking at.

And now, it's a veterinary clinic.

What is this place?

Um, this used to be my parent's room,

and then this is my room.

Because it was a big family

and everyone was trying to get a word in all the time,

everyone was always talking over each other,

talking in my family was like an Olympic sport.

[crowd laughing]

- And I was goin' for Gold. - [crowd laughing]

This wall was never here,

and then our bunk bed was there goin' that way,

and there was another bed here goin' this way.

He grew up in a room where it was just me

and my younger brother, Simon.

We were talking all the time and talking about life,

and we had this thing where I would lie on my back

and then kick the mattress up,

and he would fly through the air.

And the entire wall was covered in Pearl Jam

and Nirvana posters and Alice in Chains

and all this weird stuff.

[slow music]

Because I was the youngest growing up in the family

and seeing so much hardship go through and my family,

dealing with so many different things,

I was the knife that cut the tension every time.

That's why I'm so extroverted

and I'm so jokey all the time,

because whenever tensions would rise in my household

and people would argue or you could sense

how much people didn't want to talk to each other,

I was the one who was in the middle making jokes

and making people feel at ease

and trying to level everything out.

Oh, this is bizarre!

It's a good change.

Each day when I would come from school,

I would run down the field at the back of my house,

and I would climb this tree.

That big tree is the tree.

The tall one down there.

- I loved this tree. - [crowd laughing]

I would have married this tree if I could.

[crowd laughing]

I checked, it's not legal. [laughs]

And it is way smaller than I remember.

The reason I loved this tree so much

was because I had a rope on it,

and I threw the rope up as high

as I could get it to go at that age,

and I swung back and forth all day, every day.

This is so fun! [laughs]

See, to some people, this is nothin'.

But to me, this is life.

Yeah, I would climb this.

This is happy memories.

This is the good part of my childhood,

'cause this is pre-internet, pre-mobile phones and everything.

You had to come outside and go down into the field

and play to actually have fun.

Jesus, I miss this.

I dunno, it's nice that I'm actually out here

doing it finally, and I don't have to sit at home

wondering how things are gonna go anymore

because we're in the middle of it,

and it's super fun to do and I love doing--

We sure are, me.

...having a great time, time of my life.

[piano music]

[JP] There's this sense of equality and comradery.

What the fuck?

[JP] And there's no prima donnas, there's no diva behavior.

Everybody's agreeable.

- [fart sound] - [men laughing]

[JP] I think it's important in life

to like, not take shit so seriously.

Picture please.

And have fun and be light and playful,

but also when something needs to get done,

or there's a specific task that needs to be accomplished,

then you switch gears and you just do it

and deal with it.

And you do a good job at it.

[drumming music]

You explain to somebody that you're goin' on tour

with a YouTuber and they think it's bullshit.

Yeah, it's definitely different

than a traditional rock show or music tour.

Anybody that can get up on stage in front of 3,000 people

and hold their attention for an hour and a half

and get laughs,

you can't do it unless you worked really hard.

I swear to God, I'm gonna have to take out this balcony.

[crowd laughing]

I grew up in a very small town in Ireland called Cloghan.

- Yeah, exactly. - [crowd laughing]

No one ever reacts when I say Cloghan.

I know what you're thinkin', because it sounds weird, doesn't it?

Cloghan.

Sounds like the sound an old man makes when he sneezes.

[crowd laughing]

But since you're all gonna be honorary Irish people

here tonight with me...

[crowd cheering]

You can all try saying it with me, okay?

- Cloghan. - [crowd] Cloghan.

- God bless you. - [crowd laughing]

In the town of Cloghan, it was so small,

there was only 600 people in the entire town.

Really, really small place,

so everybody kind of knew everybody.

You saw the same faces over and over again

when you were going around town.

So each weekend in our house, 20 drunk Irish people

would show up.

[crowd laughing]

All sittin' around the kitchen table,

and me being 10 years old in the middle like.

[crowd laughing]

This is great!

Everyone here is best friends.

They weren't, they were just really drunk.

[crowd laughing]

We had a table but we didn't have chairs at it,

we had like a bench either side.

So people would just show up and there'd be like four people here,

four people there, and a whole bunch of others all around it.

Some people in the sittin' room.

But when this would happen, because I was so small,

all the drunk people would try and get a rise out of me.

They would try and make fun of me all the time.

So they'd come up to me, shit faced,

like, "How are you, Seany?

You're fuckin' small, aren't ya?"

[crowd laughing]

And I'd just stand there goin', "Bitch!"

[crowd laughing]

I was fast. I knew how to turn it around on them immediately,

and I think being that age was the first time

I ever remember making a room full of people laugh.

- I wanted more. - [crowd laughing]

During New Years, after--sometimes after we would do the thing

on the roundabout, a bunch of people would just come back

here for like a house party and continue drinkin'

'cause the pubs'd close.

I never had the drive to like as soon as I turned 18,

go out and get hammered.

I have, but it wasn't a thing of I need to go out

every weekend like they did,

because I knew how dangerous it could be.

I knew how scary it could be.

I knew how much misery it could bring into a household,

and how much emotion it could drive.

My dad had been, like, swore off drink and cigarettes

from when I was very, very young.

It wasn't until I was much older that I understood why,

that he was an alcoholic as well.

But I never saw my dad like that, I came much later.

With Malcolm and Simon, I think they've both

gone through severe alcoholism and thankfully,

both gotten out of it now.

It's just like blinking through life,

and their life is just flying past them

because they're never sober through it,

and both of them have dealt with suicidal thoughts,

and Malcolm tried to go through with it.

I would have felt my life growing up

was kind of tough now,

um, and that's left it's own scars on me too,

but maybe he learned from us,

and maybe he learned what to do

and maybe what not to do, you know?

Maybe it's not all negative, you know?

- [Sean] This is the church. - [calm music]

[Sean] Every Saturday, half the town would show up for church

including my family.

Every Sunday morning, the rest of the town would show up

and go to church.

I'm actually curious if we can go into it.

So everybody in the town saw God at least once that week.

[crowd laughing]

[Sean] Being a 10 year old in church,

you kind of get a bit bored.

This is so bizarre.

So I decided, I'm gonna spice things up a bit.

- [crowd laughing] - I'm gonna become an altar boy.

[crowd groaning]

Oh no, not that type of story!

[crowd laughing]

Jesus.

You have to pay a lot more money to see that show.

- [crowd laughing] - [bell ringing]

Those are the exact same bells that I would ring

when I was 10.

I'll paint you a little picture of what it was like.

Weird.

This is the priest, a very short priest.

[crowd laughing]

We would be kneeling down as altar boys,

me and one of my best friends.

Me here, best friend, and then two guys over there.

[Padraig] Two pairs of altar boys are at each side of the altar,

but what that means is that while the priest

is on the altar talking, you're facing each other,

and if you look up, you're looking straight at

the other person unobstructed.

So if they're already struggling to hide a laugh

and you see that in the middle of what's supposed to be

a very serious context, it's the most difficult thing

in the world to try and not laugh yourself.

You could just see like, the shoulders goin' up and down,

laughin' their asses off.

During communion, the collection plates would go around.

You know, collect money, keep the church running,

keep the lights on, keep God happy.

[crowd laughing]

And I've seen this done a million times.

I knew exactly what had to happen,

I knew where the collection plates were.

They were always over in this area on the baptismal font.

Kind of where these people are, hi.

[crowd cheering]

A baptismal font doesn't fuckin' wave!

[crowd laughing]

The priest looked at me, it was my time

to go get the collection plates.

He looked at me and said, "You got this, my child."

Got you, fam. [laughs]

And then comin' over

and realizing that there was nothing there.

- Oh shit! - [crowd laughing]

They're not there!

Where did they go?

But every seat was full,

and everybody was lookin' at me and laughin'.

All of a sudden, my sister's husband's father,

that's right, came all the way up to the front

with the collection plate in his hand.

Now, I have no idea where he got these.

[crowd laughing]

He must've pulled them out of his arse.

[crowd laughing]

And do you know what his name was?

Jimmy Christy.

J Christy.

Jesus Christ himself came down to help me!

[crowd cheering]

[laughing]

[Sean] Bus life is good. I love bus life.

I love hangin' out with people on the bus,

and I love being on tour.

You look like one of the guys from West Coast Customs.

[in American accent] This is Justin, he's on carburetors.

This is Arin, he's on paint.

[calm music]

[Sean] Because you share such a small space with everybody,

you end up forming these really great bonds,

and you're kind of forced to hang out with each other

and talk to each other, which I love.

Everyone's a small little family.

This is so cool!

[Sean] I don't know much about American history,

but I think it's awesome,

'cause this is stuff that we only see in movies.

It's one of the first times that I've seen buildings

in person where they not only look nicer,

but they also look bigger than I thought they were.

But this is gigantic and it's awesome!

Wow, it's lookin' real good out here, guys. Real good.

Primo Jacksepticeye signature.

That should be worth... that should be worth nothing.

People were getting like Darth Maul tattoos before the movie came out

because they're like this is the new Vader!

And then they killed him in the first episode.

[Sean] Darth Maul's still badass, man.

"Killing younglings." The line that Ewan McGregor couldn't deliver

without laughing so he had to cover his mouth.

- [man] Really? - "Killing younglings!" Like he-- [laughs]

It's so funny.

There's a nice shot right here.

Good one.

[man] I just remember there being a weird sense

of when you start to walk in you're like this looks

so fuckin' familiar.

[man 2] Oh yeah, that happened to me [indistinct].

- [man] What the hell? - [calm music]

This is touring. If you don't do this stuff...

Well, yeah. You're like...

When am I ever gonna be in Dallas again?

Can I have one American cheeseburger?

[man] Can I get a seven layer burrito with chicken, I guess?

- Thank you, bud. - [Sean] We ordered a half a town's worth of food.

You look like Jacksepticeye from YouTube.

- Nah, I hate that guy. - [man laughing]

[Sean] Last night, we were in Philly.

The biggest show of the entire tour.

[crowd cheering]

Well, this leg of the tour anyway.

Oh, hi!

Some of the jokes that I told during that one

have killed in Philly more than they ever have

in any of the other venues which is so bizarre,

but fascinating to me at the same time.

The Durham show, that was a huge crowd as well.

There was just like three mezzanines

and all the way up to the top.

[crowd cheering]

This group of fans on Tumblr and Twitter

started handing out green slips of paper at shows

for people's phones.

It made the audience look like a sea of green stars.

That blew me away every time I walked out on stage.

Look at all the beautiful little green lights out here tonight, I love it!

[crowd cheering]

[Sean] And now we're in DC, which has one of the smallest shows

of the entire tour.

Cloghan also had a dark side.

[crowd gasping]

A seedy underbelly.

Each year in Cloghan, the biggest night of the year,

every year, was New Year's Eve.

But in Cloghan, we had a bit of a ritual.

Do you know what a roundabout is?

[scattered voices] Yeah!

Okay, some of you are with me for now.

[crowd laughing]

The roundabout in Cloghan was called "The Square."

[crowd laughing]

I don't know why.

You'll understand as the night goes on,

Irish people make no sense.

[crowd laughing]

On this "Square," there were five roads,

and that was the joke about Cloghan.

The best thing about Cloghan were the five roads

that took you away from Cloghan.

[crowd laughing]

We would take two pitchforks.

[crowd laughing]

Two lads would stand on this roundabout

with sods of turf.

Do you know what turf is?

[scattered voices] Yeah!

Really?

[crowd murmuring]

Turf is what you dig out of a bog

to burn in your fire for winter.

[crowd chattering]

Oh!

[crowd laughing]

You didn't fuckin' know, did ya?

[crowd laughing]

We would take these sods of turf

and put them on the pitchforks.

[crowd laughing]

And then light them on fire.

[crowd laughing]

Two lads with flaming pitchforks.

[bagpipes playing]

[Sean] One guy next to him playing a fiddle.

[crowd cheering]

[Sean] Jesus Christ was back playing the accordion,

and the entire town of Cloghan would line up behind them,

walking down each of these five streets singing songs.

Now, I used to think this was normal.

[crowd laughing]

Until we started writing material for this show

and I thought, hold on.

How batshit crazy must that have looked?

[crowd laughing]

If you were driving through Cloghan that night

and you saw 600 people all standing around a roundabout

they called "The Square,"

with flaming pitchforks in their hands,

hands held together, singing kumbaya

like they're about to summon the fuckin' antichrist

- out of the ground. - [crowd laughing, cheering]

There's no fuckin' roundabout anymore!

We keep talkin' in the show about this roundabout

in the joke about Cloghan and the ritual we used to do,

and the roundabout used to be right there.

Right in the middle of town for the five roads.

Is it weird that everything's smaller?

We would all stand around here,

all around the roundabout.

Like completely encircled.

Oh, Cloghan, never change.

Actually wait, do.

That's fuckin' weird.

[crowd laughing]

[slow music]

[Sean] My brain overthinks.

So being in some areas where I can turn my brain off

is very, very important to me.

Like me doing YouTube videos is when my brain turns off

and I just get to be like completely free-form.

I get to do what I want. I'm not overthinking myself.

I just do.

There's times when I'm in kind of a shitty mood,

and I'll start recording the games

and I'm like, "Oh, do I have to record somethin' today?"

And then like five minutes into it,

I'm completely turned around because it's just, that's my happy place.

That's where I feel like I operate best.

What your brain wants is something different

than what your heart wants to do.

Your brain wants to just stay in work mode

and do what it needs to do,

but your heart always wants to explore,

and your heart wants to enjoy whatever you're doing.

Your heart is where the art is, I think,

and then your body wants something else

completely separate from those.

So it's all about finding the balance between all three.

Instagram livestream.

There's not one thing that everyone wants to do.

You change like every three to five years anyway.

So maybe you're trying to find several versions

of yourself.

[music continues]

There's so many, so many people. So many fans.

- [fans squealing] - They socialize, they talk about the show,

they talk about material that's online,

and they develop friendships that last

longer than just that show.

[crowd shouting]

Selling merch.

The most important job.

Everyone knows that.

There's only one shirt, a tour t-shirt, poster, beanie.

It's a very dangerous job.

I'm gonna get some fans to help me.

[indistinct chattering]

You're big, you can probably lift this whole thing up, right?

[box smashing]

It's absolutely insane.

Every single person buys merch.

No one has ever complained about waiting in line.

Well, there's always the tired fathers,

but I mean, I just give 'em one of those.

Like, "You're a good man."

Before the show they're excited for the show.

I have never seen anybody live before!

His excitement just makes me extremely happy.

After the show, they're high from the show.

He uplifted us and encouraged us to follow our dreams.

I like how he ended the show with his message,

keep pushing forward.

- [cork popping] - [people cheering]

[crowd cheering]

[Sean] In my secondary school days,

that's when the name Jacksepticeye was born.

[crowd cheering]

Welcome to my school!

Or at least, what was my school.

It's not a school anymore.

Because in school, I had a friend. A friend named Paul.

I may or may not have kissed a girl

at the back of this classroom. [laughs]

And he found out that my mother called me Jack,

because I don't know, Jack and Sean go together?

[crowd laughing]

Because Sean is Irish for John

and John and Jack go together?

Yeah, I told ya Irish people make no sense.

[crowd laughing]

One day, we were out on the playground playing football.

None of this stuff was here, this was all completely open.

There was a set of goals down that side,

there was a set of goals this side.

Great day, sun beaming in the sky.

- [in deep voice] It wasn't. - [crowd laughing]

[in normal voice] Everybody in the school

came out to watch us play football.

Even the teachers.

- [in deep voice] They didn't. - [crowd laughing]

- [in normal voice] The fuck? [crowd laughing]

The ball went up into the air and I saw goals in my eyes.

I wanted to impress everybody.

So I launched myself into the air after the ball.

Fun fact, this is when the Irish space program was born.

And I went up to like hit it and hit it down

towards these goals to like, score.

As I went up into the air, my 14-year-old muscles

bristling under my shirt, testosterone fueling my body,

my long blonde hair flowing in the wind.

[crowd laughing]

When I went up to header it,

some other dude was comin' up this way.

I should mention, this person was wearing a pair of glasses.

[crowd groaning]

And I'm not a scientist, but I'm pretty sure that mass

times acceleration plus really sharp pair of glasses

to my eye equals really fuckin' bad.

[crowd laughing]

And when I went like that and he also like, came towards me,

so I like, I was...

I was the fuckin' motion that actually hit my own head.

And when I hit him, I saw stars

and my vision went black for a second.

Red went everywhere like a human jam donut.

[crowd groaning]

Coming down my face, streaking half my vision

like a pair of old, shitty 3D glasses.

Then I was brought down into the main building

to get fixed, but when I was walking down past everyone,

they were all like, "Oh, fuck!"

'Cause there was blood all over my face.

Some people on the sidelines gasped.

[crowd gasping]

Some people cried.

[crowd crying]

The older kids said, "Who the fuck is that again?"

[crowd laughing]

The teacher bandaged me up and I was sent home

because I was too scary to look at for the rest of the kids.

And after about two weeks had passed,

I came back to school but my wound hadn't healed up fully.

I came back and I had this big, gross, green lump

- over my eye. - [crowd gasping]

My friend, Paul, said he would take liberty

and extend the Jack name further into Jacksepticeye.

[crowd cheering]

Oh, he thought that was great.

He thought it'd be fun to get everybody

to call me Jacksepticeye.

He even tried to get my teachers to call me it.

Who's laughing now, Paul?

[crowd cheering]

God, 12 years ago.

Jesus.

[upbeat music]

[Sean] The show we did last night in LA,

was the first show back after two months of doing the tour.

First show of leg three.

I'm excited to see you.

[Sean] I know like, 7,000 people in LA.

I'll find you in the crowd.

Lock eyes with me!

Let's bounce.

I do the show better now since the first leg of the tour,

I think.

- [woman] Break a leg. - I'll break both.

You got this.

Supposed to get your adrenaline goin'

or your testosterone or some bullshit.

This is the most friends that have been at a show so far.

[crowd cheering]

This one, it's more just like anxiety, but it's a good one.

Like butterflies where I'm so excited to do it.

Top of the mornin' to ya!

[crowd cheering]

[Sean] It's nice to know the material well enough

that now, if I meander off into an improv part,

when I come back, I'm not lost.

- How you doin'? - [woman cheering]

I didn't fuckin' ask you!

[crowd laughing]

This is our moment.

The audience is there just to have a good time,

you just have to lead 'em in the right direction.

[Robin] I'm--I'm really happy with how things have gone.

I'm really proud of how he's handling it,

and how the community as a whole support each other.

[man over speakers] Please welcome to the stage, Jacksepticeye!

[crowd cheering]

[Robin] Even in the relatively small Q&A sections

here on the tour before the shows,

some people when they get up to ask the questions

and they're really nervous and they might

not get the words out that they want to say,

not only does Sean encourage them and say take their time,

take a deep breath, but you can hear other people

in the crowd just sort of shout, "It's okay,

you can do it, take your time!"

Of all the other panels and shows I've been to,

it's very rare.

[crowd cheering]

[Sean] It's not just this magical thing

that suddenly you're an adult and you know exactly

what's going on and what you're doing. It's like...

you have to get through those rough years

as a teenager to figure out who you are

and what you want to do and where you're goin'.

We're all still tryin' to figure it out even as adults.

Oh, I don't like this at all.

Hi, Jimmy!

All the way up here.

- [Jimmy] Wow! - [Sean] This is terrifying.

Life's obstacles suck, but you can overcome them.

I don't like it. [laughs]

You can still work hard and you can have fun with it,

and you can chase a dream if you have it.

Doesn't have to be YouTube,

but as long as you're passionate about it

and you're trying to work towards

the best version of yourself,

then that's what's important.

She just said it's the throne of God!

[crowd laughing]

[crowd chanting indistinctly]

Oh, that's how you kill culture.

[indistinct chattering]

[Sean] 'Cause everyone thinks touring is gonna be like, sex, drugs, rock 'n roll, baby.

Not that any of us ever do that, but it's that kind of boisterous

kind of environment that people think

is gonna be hectic or crazy.

Did you find someone? Oh, yes!

There's a lot of hurry up and wait energy on tour,

'cause you get in in the mornings and everything's like go, go, go,

and then you get at the venue and it's like go, go, go,

and then you sit there it's like,

"Well, what do we do for three hours now?"

I dunno though.

I think everyone on tour got a little closer

when we were waitin' around.

[drum music]

[Sean] The first time I heard someone play drums,

I thought they were too loud.

[crowd laughing]

[laughs]

Then he kinda got into the music scene,

that was kind of through Malcolm, and

started learnin' to play the drums.

I would walk past the bedroom window

and there was my brother playing drums.

More hair than man.

[crowd laughing]

Playing drums like Animal from the Muppet like.

[crowd cheering]

So when I was older in my teenage years,

after giving up on guitar a small bit,

I was watching MTV, remember when MTV played music videos?

[crowd cheering]

And one day, Green Day came on TV.

[crowd cheering]

I think Green Day was the biggest thing

that sticks out in my head with Sean.

The "Boulevard of Broken Dreams,"

that was probably one of the first--

- Oh, my God! - ...ones he ever played on.

[Sean] This room was purpose-built just for my drum kit.

[Simon] He got into a band and like most of his childhood friends

were in the band with him.

[Susan] Yeah, so that was cool.

Every house party that was ever had at our house,

everyone ended up out in the shed

- listenin' to Seany on the drums. - Yeah.

I'd have the drum kit down here in the corner

playin' away.

And I played those big bad bongos all day, every day.

Oh my god, the same poster's still here. [laughs]

It's a 3D picture of the moon landing.

But it was at this moment in my life

it took its biggest turn ever,

because I'd been going to college for about two years

for music production,

and my family decided it was time to move.

So we ended up moving to a place called Ballycumber

to a log cabin in the middle of the woods.

As an 18 year old, not the best environment for me,

and when I was goin' to college for two years,

I realized that I wasn't really able to keep up.

Everybody else in my course was phenomenal at it.

They were all super good at music,

they were all able to pick up the projects we were given,

they were able to do the music theory,

and do everything fantastically, but I wasn't able to.

And because I was so embarrassed,

I was too afraid to admit that I was too dumb

to be able to do this so I ended up leaving college,

and I went back to this log cabin

and completely lost myself.

I had no idea who I was anymore.

I became very heavily depressed.

I didn't know where I was gonna go in life.

All these goals and aspirations and things that I thought

were supposed to happen were all gone.

What I thought I was gonna do in life

was that I would start off in a small town,

I would go to a slightly bigger town for school,

make some friends, start playing drums,

move off to the city for college, and become a success,

but that didn't happen.

And I moved away from all of my friends

and people always say that's fine if you move away

from your friends 'cause you're gonna make new friends,

but that wasn't even a possibility where I was living

because we lived near nobody.

I was completely alone.

It was just me and my family together,

and all I had to occupy my time was video games and drums,

and I didn't even want to play those

because I was just so miserable

because I didn't know what else to do with myself.

[wind blowing]

[slow music]

[Sean] How are ya keepin'?

[Sean] You're above the ground,

that's a good way to be.

It's nice and warm.

[Sean] Mother said she'd be back soon.

He's 82 and a couple of years ago,

he was diagnosed with Parkinson's.

He's just deteriorated so fast,

and he's always been very active my entire life growing up.

He was always outside,

he was always workin' with his hands, he was very strong.

I would always ask to see his muscles and everything

'cause he was so cool, and he worked so hard,

but moving to that cabin probably made him

more depressed than it made me.

This wasn't good.

Nothing in my life will ever get as dark as that time,

because that was extreme isolation.

That was extreme loneliness.

We got this after like a year of livin' here

because when I would be here during winter,

the ice would come in on the walls up to about here.

So all the inside of the cabin would all be frozen,

and the walls are literally like as thin as that.

So this is the thickness of the whole cabin.

[knocking on wood]

The whole way around.

This is where my recording setup was.

So my bed was that way, but I didn't have a bed frame.

I had two mattresses just lying on the ground,

and my desk was here and you can even still see

the foam on the walls from when I would record here.

I used to use tacks all the away around

to put a black bed sheet behind me,

but it also segregated the cabin

so that if I wanted to heat up here at nighttime,

I could just pull the bed sheet down and keep the heat in.

In like 2009, I think, we had a really, really bad inter here,

and all the pipes froze,

because it's all like, just under the ground.

So all the water froze, we had no water

for two and a half weeks.

When the water came back,

the pipes up here all burst,

and all the water came down through the boards here

onto my computer and my desk and everything.

I like, caught it in time and told them to turn it off again.

Not a way to live.

That's where it all started.

And as you can see, you can scream all you want out here.

No one fuckin' knows.

No one hears.

[Malcolm] I think, essentially, it was a release

because he would have gone crazy.

He'd come home, cook my folks dinner every day,

he was the model son, and then he would go

and he would record these videos.

Hello, all you beautiful people out there!

My name is Jacksepticeye and in this video,

I'm gonna talk about horror games.

[Malcom] And I came back and my mother said, "Oh, the other night

I heard him and he was screaming and shouting,

I thought he was being murdered."

But he was in the cabin next door at midnight,

shouting at some horror game.

[screams]

- [Malcolm] I think he forgot about the outside world. - [groans]

I think he was so immersed in this thing,

it was like his little secret that he could come home to.

It was like he stepped out of the mundanity

of every day life and the mundanity of living in the woods,

with this captivating pastime.

I think that's why YouTube means so much to me,

because I literally had nothing,

and then this thing comes along that makes me

actually want to work.

It makes me happy and passionate about something

that I hadn't had before, and had other people to talk to.

There was an unhealthiness to it,

because it's that like, idea of a parasocial relationship,

that you latch onto these people because you want friends,

but back then, I was like, very heavily dependent on that audience

to get me through my days,

because it was the only people I had to talk to.

I had no job.

There was no available jobs around.

I don't think I could have gotten one if I did have,

'cause I didn't drive, I didn't have a car.

So even if I got a job, I couldn't get to it.

And there's no possibility of gaining new friends here.

Everybody in Ballycumber's slightly older than me.

So there was nobody to hang around with.

Another thing about here,

the wind would just come across the bog,

and the whole place would shake.

Like, you'd be in bed and your bed would shake.

Because the walls are so flimsy,

the whole place would shake,

and then my dad was so paranoid that the roof

would just fly off someday because they're not,

like...everything's flimsy.

So it's easy to look back and remember this

and then be like yeah, don't--don't become an asshole.

Don't get used to that lifestyle too much

or don't like, fly away or become egotistical,

because [laughs] the kid who grew up here

would absolutely hate me if I did that

because I have more now than I ever have

my entire life, and I'm very, very lucky

that I got anywhere.

And I think that's why I don't talk about it, 'cause...

I'm not one to throw a pity party for myself.

[man] I'm right with him. [chuckles]

[Sean] Mental health was never talked about in Ireland

when I was growing up.

I don't like it. [laughs]

It's getting a lot better but back then,

it was really, really hard to talk to anybody about it.

That's why I left college,

'cause I couldn't admit to people

that I wasn't able to do somethin.

I couldn't admit to myself that I wasn't able to do it

because that made you seem weak and stupid

and embarrassed and everything.

My family never emotionally opening up to each other

and ever saying I love you to one another,

just not being able to talk about what was going on

inside your head.

I feel like that's the umbrella

where everything else falls under.

We weren't good vocalizers of our feelings,

and it was weird and it was cringey and it was awkward.

You just didn't want to do it.

As kids, we're not taught, you know, coping mechanisms.

We're not taught how to kinda communicate our feelings.

- [Sean] Yeah. - A lot of men especially are taught like, nah,

you should be macho and hyper-masculine

and all that stuff, and you kind of, uh,

You can kinda quickly-- that's a slippery slope.

You can kinda quickly lose yourself

because you're silent about things.

[Sean] Not being able to verbalize what's going on with you

is a very big issue.

It sounds dumb on paper,

but people need to be able to talk about

what's actually going on with them,

even if it sounds dumb to some people.

You need to be able to open up to somebody.

[Ryan Reynolds] Not to get too sentimental,

but the worst feeling on the planet

- is feeling like you're the only one, you know? - Yeah.

If you're having somethin' that's goin' on

that you feel just absolutely devastated about,

you can't move through it, you always think

"I'm the only person on Earth who feels like this,"

and that's the worst feeling on Earth.

The truth is you're not.

[Sean] And it's only now, in hindsight as a grown man,

that I can actually admit that yeah,

I was sad, I was depressed, I was dealing with

a lot of stuff that I just wasn't talking to anybody about.

It's like quintessential Ireland.

It's like, there is nothing else,

And you kinda just make the most about what you have,

but there's no ambition to go any further.

That's why I knew I couldn't stay here.

It's grown a lot in the last 10 years.

It's just that this part of the country

has not at all.

Which has its charm.

And there's something very sort of archaic and ritualistic about it.

I was more just a product of my surroundings,

and my environment and the people in it.

I was drifting. I was trying to figure out what I had to do.

Luckily one day, my family decided to get the internet

in these log cabins, and I looked into a website

called YouTube.

[crowd cheering]

And the thing about YouTube at the time, for me,

was I had no idea it could become a job for people.

I had no idea people did it as their living.

It was a very different time for me.

I just liked video games a lot.

So I ended up looking up let's players

who were playing a lot of Battlefield 3,

and I landed on a YouTuber called Level Cap Gaming.

Here was this guy playing a game he loved.

He was super passionate about it,

but all these other people showed up to watch him play.

They were all there together watching him,

sharing opinions, and sharing thoughts

on video games together, and I finally felt like

I had a place where I belonged,

because nobody knew what that felt like

more than I did at that time.

To feel like a failure.

To feel like an outcast.

To feel like you had nowhere else to turn.

Nobody else understood who you were.

So I wanted to make a community for people who felt like that.

Who felt like they needed a place where they could hang out,

have fun, not feel judged.

They could all just come around and laugh together

and enjoy video games together.

The first time of my life that I actually chose

to move somewhere else myself was to Athlone

and that was thanks to YouTube stuff.

[upbeat rock music]

[Sean] Once I found that thing that I wanted to do,

it felt like okay, this is the path, go,

and run as far as you can with it.

Inksane. That's where I got my Bloodborne tattoo.

I dunno, it kinda had a professional look about it.

M-O-H-H.

I went in there and got my hair dyed green

for the first time,

and I was worried that they wouldn't have green hair dye

because no one else ever would dye their hair green.

Except me, of course, 'cause I'm an idiot YouTuber.

- [whip cracking] - Top of the mornin' to ya, laddies!

My name is Jacksepticeye and I have a few things to talk about in this vlog,

but the first thing that you're probably gonna notice,

from the high five, is that I got a tattoo!

Can you see it? I--I--wait, I don't know if you can see it.

You can probably see it better now.

Yeah, we can see the front of it up this way.

I think the channel was at like 60,000 subs

when I moved in here?

And then by the time I left,

the channel was at mid-teen millions.

In the space of a few years.

[Arin] That spot to be in as a YouTuber,

is such an interesting spot because that's like, the big shift, right?

That's the shift where you see there is an audience

that completely validates what you're doing,

and it's the all-in moment.

This is it, this is all there is. You know?

Nothing else in my life gives me what this is giving me.

People see the millions and they see the subscriber count

and they see the Instagram and the Twitter,

but he was lonely, and he was workin' 15 hours a day.

And even when I wanted to see him back home,

I had to make an appointment,

and I thought this is good but it's all one way.

[Arin] It's a parasocial relationship.

People are enjoying the stuff that you're putting out there,

but there's not a flow between you and the audience,

and there's not a real understanding of like,

you as a person and who you are.

It's the content that you're putting out there,

but it's very intoxicating.

For me at least, it gives me something that I never got.

To have a bunch of people come in and accept you,

I mean, that's tremendously powerful.

I was here alone for a long time,

and I just stuck my head down

and just face to the grindstone as I used to say

in the show, but that joke made no sense

so I had to change it. [laughs] Um...

But this is where I would work all day, every day,

on YouTube, and never, ever take any breaks,

and never go outside.

Only to get groceries and stuff, 'cause I didn't need to.

Other than that, I'd just sit at home and record and work.

[upbeat music]

[Sean] YouTube itself is kind of a social media platform.

The fact that it's so accessible and it's free

and anybody can have their comment be seen,

it gives me a nice open connection with everybody.

They're all super nice and they're all very supportive

of each other, but at the same time,

I have no idea who they are.

I just see usernames and profile pictures and things like that.

But whenever I record stuff and I'm looking into a camera, and

even at a home recording let's plays,

it still feels like someone's there,

and I think having that open access to each other

and giving each other feedback all the time is really important.

It's not a conversation, but I think it's close enough

that's it still very encouraging,

and it feels like he really is there.

It bridges a very big gap.

There's always somebody out there willing to listen,

and willing to open up about their own life.

So it's fascinating. [laughs]

It's so much more of a community

than people who are fans of a TV show or fans of a band.

And this is sometimes their only interaction

with people who share the same interest

outside of the internet.

So it really feels like they live

in this sort of virtual existence,

and this is a real life, three-dimensional way

for them to experience that.

It's always seeking a family.

That's--that's what it's all about, man.

It's always seeking a family.

[man] It's awesome to be able to find other nerdy people

that are all into the same things you are

and just be instant friends.

I made about five friends just here right now, you know?

Never really had friends growin' up,

so he's my go-to all the time.

So I love watching him.

[crowd cheering]

College defeated me.

College was my huge obstacle,

but I decided I'm not gonna let that happen.

I'm not gonna sit in this log cabin,

I'm not gonna waste away,

I'm not gonna lose myself anymore.

So I got back up on the horse and I went back to college

for my true passion in life.

[crowd laughing]

Hotel management.

[crowd cheering]

- I don't know why. [laughs] - [crowd laughing]

But when I went back to college,

it was the next stage of my life.

Adulthood.

- [crowd oohing] - Oh yeah.

You think adults know what we're doing?

[crowd] No!

Nope.

We just have the rest of you tricked

- into thinking we do. - [crowd laughing]

When I was going back to college,

I gave YouTube a try.

I really tried hard at it, and even back then,

I was trying to upload two videos every single day.

And after doing it for about a year and a half,

people actually started to show up,

and that's when stuff really started to take off.

[crowd cheering]

And I remember this milestone vividly

because it was the first time I ever met anyone

from the channel in real life.

I was going through a grocery store in Ireland

called Tesco.

Tesco's right there and my apartment's there.

I'd used to go all the way up and around town to get down to it.

And as I was goin' through Tesco,

two boys came up to me and tapped me on the shoulder

and said, "Are you Jacksepticeye?"

I'll show you exactly where I met them.

And as I was standin' there with a basket in my hand

full of baked beans and instant noodles...

- [crowd laughing] - There's the baked beans I had.

And the two boys came up to me right here.

I think it was right here.

The pictures are still on my Instagram.

And I thought, oh shit!

[crowd laughing]

They found me!

[wind rushing]

- [woman] We made it. - [man] Made it!

[Sean] People were speaking Dutch, people were speaking French,

people were speaking German,

people were speaking Norwegian,

tonight they're speaking Danish,

tomorrow they're speaking Swedish,

then they're speaking English,

so it's like seven different languages

that we've gone through.

By and large, it still kind of feels the same

'cause it's still doing a tour.

But it's definitely been a lot colder here. [laughs]

We landed on the plane and it was actually snowing here

and I'm like come on, that's fake.

[crowd laughing]

[Justin] Today was pretty difficult.

I threw up on an airplane.

Twice.

Everyone in Amsterdam is really nice,

and I just feel like an asshole.

- [JP] Hey, Vernon? - [Vernon] Yes, sir!

Could you come here for a second, please?

[Vernon] Got it.

Hey I'm Vernon Shaw and this is how to put together a chair.

Please stop filming me. That's step one.

We have two fortune cookies,

and me and John Peter here are gonna dink and sink them,

and whatever comes out in our...in our fortune

is gonna dictate the rest of the tour.

Mine says, "Keep calm and focus on the positive."

- [man imitating Sean] "Cam"? - [man 2] All right.

[Sean] Do you wanna fuck back to Canada?

Mine says [speaking Dutch poorly].

[crunching]

[piano music]

[man] What's your favorite thing

that you enjoy most about Jack's channel?

Well, the scary games.

I really love that. [laughs]

Yeah, I really love Detroit: Become Human,

- it's so good. - Yeah, same.

[woman] Like, Jack always makes me laugh.

No matter what.

I can just want to die and then I start up

a Jacksepticeye video and then my stomach hurts

from laughing too much.

[Sean] Europe's weird.

European audiences are way more timid.

Like they want to make noise

and you can tell that they're excited

'cause you can see it on their faces and everything,

but they just don't want to interrupt anything.

They're so used to just being so polite,

but it's--once they get into it, they're on board.

This old lady looks like she wants to fight me,

and I'm not okay with it.

"You want a knuckle sandwich, kid?"

It's really hard to get comedians,

English-speaking comedians to Germany because, uh,

probably they're not gonna buy tickets

because they're just scared that they don't get the jokes or something.

Yeah, no one thinks German people can laugh.

Well, that's probably another reason.

[both laugh]

[calm music]

[Sean] Are you from Berlin?

No, no, no, no, I live close to Cologne.

[Sean] Hey, Cologne's a cool town.

[Martin] Cologne is quite nice

because it's more like a bigger village to be honest.

- [Sean] Yeah. - [Martin] But the people are really cool.

Really open and really tolerant,

not so stiff as you're probably used to from the Germans.

[Sean laughs] Yeah, 'cause even the live shows that we did,

'cause we did Cologne and then here,

and they were way nicer than people made them sound.

Right.

[woman] We're one third of the way through.

It feels like we've been on the road forever.

It does.

[man] What's your full name, Vernon?

Oh, no, we're not doin' an interview.

- [man] We've got our two cameras ready. - Nice fuckin' try!

- Hey, family. - [Sean] A clatter and a gobshite.

That's all that's on this bus.

[man] You're just lyin' to us. You're just makin' up words.

I'm not tellin' you no fibs!

I don't know, it's the usual thing.

It's just tomfoolery and japes.

You spend a lot of time together with a bunch of people,

and this is a very nice group of people

with a sense of humor, so it's just funny.

I enjoy it very much.

[Sean] JP's ready to fuckin' hang 10.

[Dominik] I enjoy it when it's a nice group of people

and there's a good internal dynamic.

And everybody's funny apart from Stella.

- [Stella laughs] - [chuckles]

- I'm outta here! I quit! - [Dominik laughing]

[calm music]

[Dominik] Jack's an entertainer and I think that,

whether it's YouTube or the radio or TV or podcast

or whatever, I think he'd get his personality across.

And it's his personality and it's his genuine sort of relationship

with his audience that people are coming to experience.

[Sean] I know what people go through when they find a YouTuber

and what it means to--

'Cause watching a YouTuber is not the same

as watching TV.

You watch TV to be entertained,

but most times, people watch YouTubers

because they like the person or they like the personality,

and they want to just be involved in that friendship.

[crowd] Bye!

Bye.

[Dominik] It was eye-opening to meet the crowd

and meet the people that were coming to the shows.

I found it really, it was quite emotional actually,

because it really feels like a safe space for some people,

and I was really touched by how--how sincere they were.

You know, they're very, very sincere.

The channel had been doing so well,

and it'd suddenly become the most subscribed channel

in Ireland.

[crowd cheering]

So a newspaper decided they were gonna do an article.

An article about the top 10 most influential Irish people.

[crowd laughing]

At number 10 on this prestigious list

was the president.

[crowd laughing]

[crowd clapping]

At number nine, was Bono from U2.

[crowd cheering]

At number eight, was your boy.

[crowd cheering]

Nothing like this had ever happened before.

Never had anything like this ever happen again,

but I try not to get too far ahead of myself

because it was a tabloid newspaper

and I didn't how many people were actually gonna read it

or take it seriously.

But one day, the news called me.

[crowd oohing]

The national news of Ireland called me

because they had gotten wind of the article.

It's what they do, they're the fuckin' news.

[crowd laughing]

A man with the most Irish name on planet Earth,

named Kieran Malooly.

[crowd laughing]

Kieran sounds like an Irish Kermit the frog.

So he called me and asked,

[imitating Kermit] "How are ya, Seany?"

[crowd laughing]

"Saw the article you did in the paper

and thought it was great.

Just wonderin' if you wanted to do an old interview

for the news."

[crowd laughing]

[in normal voice] I said no problem, Kermit, I'd love to.

[crowd laughing]

Again, cool opportunity.

Take it on board, nothing to lose,

let's see what happens.

Now, where we were living at the time in Athlone,

in Ireland, it had been raining so badly

that the river Shannon I lived next to

got so full of water it said hey, bro, I'm too full,

I'm just gonna burst my bank and flood the town, cool?

[crowd laughing]

[Sean] No, not fuckin' cool!

We decided we'd meet outside a place

called Sean's Bar.

[crowd cheering]

I told ya there was more of us.

Fun fact, Sean's Bar once got an award

for being the oldest pub in Europe.

[crowd cheering]

It dates back to the year 900 AD.

[crowd cheering]

Yeah, trust the fuckin' Irish to keep a pub alive

- for that long. - [crowd laughing]

My apartment is down there,

and when I decided I was gonna do the interview,

we said we'd meet here because it was like a...

it's a historical landmark.

It's not just like, famous for the town, it's famous for Ireland.

But because the weather was so bad

and the place was flooded,

I decided I'm gonna put on me little welly boots,

I'm gonna grab my umbrella or my short priest.

[crowd laughing]

And I'm gonna wait outside Sean's Bar.

When I came down, this whole section was all in water.

So I was standin' here like, in wellies

with water up to my ankles.

Standin' with a fuckin' umbrella in my hand,

waitin' for Kieran to show up.

I wonder what he drives?

I wonder when he's gonna get here? I wonder where he is?

I wonder what he looks like?

We decided to meet at two o'clock,

but two o'clock came,

- Kieran didn't show up. - [scattered oohing]

No, it's fine.

Bad weather, he's probably stuck in traffic somewhere.

2:15 came, no sign of Kieran.

[crowd awwing]

2:30 came, no Kieran.

[crowd awwing]

Three PM came and I said fuck this, I'm not gettin' wet.

[crowd laughing]

So I went back inside and I gave Kieran

the benefit of the doubt.

He's probably dead.

[crowd laughing]

Only logical explanation.

Bad weather, tsunami probably killed him.

[crowd laughing]

But just in case, I decided to call the number

that he called me from, and a lady picked up the phone,

and I asked her is Kieran here?

Did he come to do the interview?

I was waiting outside.

And she said, "Oh yeah, Kieran drove down.

Kieran's in town, but he decided to not do that interview,

and went instead to do a story about a lady

whose garden got flooded."

[crowd laughing]

- All right. - [woman] How dare he?

So you called me, blowin' smoke up my ass,

telling me I'm the eighth most influential Irish person,

and you ditch me to do a story about the fuckin' rain?

[crowd laughing]

That is the most Irish thing that has ever happened to me.

[crowd laughing, clapping]

Even if he came or we met here,

where was I gonna do the interview?

In my apartment, here?

I'll talk about my budding YouTube career

standin' out in the fuckin' rain. [laughs]

The channel was just doing so well.

I was just having so much fun doing this YouTube thing.

I was doing it all day, every day.

But there was one game on the channel

that was doing better than anything else.

A game that I've done more episodes of

than any other game.

[crowd cheering]

That game, of course, being Happy Wheels!

- [crowd cheering] - Oh, baby!

We're gonna pick out three people to play.

Even the time when we played video games,

cool, fun, entertaining distraction,

but there's an actual reason they're in it.

Okay, who wants to play?

[crowd cheering]

[upbeat music]

You get to see what it's like to be a YouTuber.

Oh, we have somebody. Come on down!

You get to practice it, you get to shout yourself out

if you want to.

[crowd cheering]

What's your name?

- Kayley. - Kayley?

Everyone say, "Hi, Kayley."

[crowd] Hi, Kayley!

- Was that scary? - No.

[Sean] People often don't take kids seriously.

So we wanted to give them the limelight

and to give them a chance to like, be heard and be seen,

and even the audience who doesn't know anything

about this, can actually get to see what it's like

and see why people like it

and see why it's such a communal thing,

it's such an energetic thing.

The people who are into it already

get so much more out of it.

Everyone say, "Hi, Roman."

- [crowd] Hi, Roman! - Hi!

[Sean] Roman, do you have a YouTube name?

- Yes. - What's your YouTube name?

Fart. [laughs]

[crowd laughing]

[crowd cheering]

Did you just come up with that right now?

- No. - Your YouTube name is Fart?

[crowd laughing]

Is that actually your YouTube name?

- I think you're lying. - [crowd laughing]

[Sean] You know what? I love it anyway, sorry, parents.

[Roman giggles]

Corrupting the youth, okay.

We're all just gonna chant fart.

[crowd laughing]

[all chanting] Fart! Fart! Fart! Fart! Fart!

- Louder! - [all chanting] Fart! Fart! Fart! Fart! Fart!

- Fart! Fart! Fart! Fart! Fart! - [Sean] Oh!

Okay, click on play now and let's go.

You know how to play, right?

Okay, go forwards.

- Go forward, here we go! - [crowd cheering]

Oh!

That's okay, that's fine.

Slow start.

Okay, just remember, speed is key!

- [crowd cheering] - [Sean] Go!

We'll give it one more try, how does that sound?

Go, Fart, go! You got this, buddy!

[crowd cheering]

Yes, yes!

Yes!

[cheering continues]

Go, Fart!

What?

- [Roman giggling] - [cheering continues]

Go, Fart, go!

Okay, okay, I don't like this!

[crowd cheering]

[slow music]

[Sean] Paris was a cool one.

Because my brother lives there,

it's always been a place that I've kind of wanted to go and hang out,

and he's been there so long at this point

that he knows the place inside out

and he loves it so much.

San Michel is down there.

So tomorrow we're gonna cruise down there,

and we'll go over here to the Louvre.

Tonight, we're a few hours away from the first time

I'm gonna see the How Did We Get Here show.

So havin' worked on ideas together,

I'm super stoked to actually see what the thing

is gonna be like.

My kid brother is in a thousand-seater venue

in one of the most touristic parts of Paris,

and he's gonna headline a show.

There's all these fans outside,

rabid to even get a picture taken with him.

Thank you so much!

- Oh! - How do you say that?

A piece of home. It's a clover, yeah.

Just talking to them outside and everything

I'm like okay, yeah, there's gonna be a language barrier for a lot of these jokes.

- Just pace it. - Yeah.

Yeah, it was weird 'cause some of the stuff

from last night, like, some of the Amsterdam crowd

they were into some of it and then other parts

it was like, really subdued and they didn't like sustain

as long as like an American crowd did.

It was like they started cheering

and then all of a sudden it was like yeah okay, we're done.

It'll be interesting to see if some of the jokes land or not,

because it's a lot of like, Irish humor,

and I don't know if it's gonna translate very well.

I don't know, part of the fun of doing a live show

and touring and figuring things out.

It's a challenge.

I enjoy it.

Are you guys excited for Jacksepticeye?

[crowd cheering]

[Malcolm] Because he's so famous,

I think he could come out on stage and do anything.

He just wants to push the boundaries.

My wife, we were dating at the time

and she was living in Germany,

and she sent me this video and said,

"You've gotta see what your brother is doing."

When we went back, if I wanted to have a coffee with him

or go out, people were just turnin' up

to get selfies.

Yeah, it was unbelievably good.

Unbelievably good. And the French, man,

they surprised me.

Yeah, they loved that.

The secret is that you have to drop your mic

from your mouth after you tell a joke,

'cause they were like oh, I clap now?

Cool. [laughs]

It's been fun to watch him grow from a distance,

but at the same time, we've remained really close

throughout the years.

[slow music]

[indistinct chattering]

[Sean] I think Paris is one of the most historically dense

cities on the entire planet,

and the fact that we had somebody who knew

some of the background to these places

and it felt like we were on this personally

private guided tour of Paris.

And then we all just got to recharge our batteries,

and stuff like that is just really, really nice.

But the fact that we get to go there on tour

all as a group, made it so much better,

and it's gonna be hard to top those kinds of moments.

[man] Oh my God, look at that.

[Sean] It's all of my thumbnails--

[man] Oh, come on!

- [man 2] From his videos. - [Sean] And the videos they've watched and quotes from them.

[both] Holy shit!

She showed it to me outside.

- It's fuckin' incredible. - [Dominik] Lovely dude.

Genuinely very nice guy,

and he's in a strange position because I've never seen

an artist have that much weight put on him,

because people expect a lot from him.

It's like, "You've helped me, you've saved me."

He takes it in his stride and he does really well, I think.

Oh my God, I'm gonna cry!

All good performance is a collusion

between the artist and the audience.

Oh no, it's not workin'! Oh, good!

[crowd cheering]

[Dominik] If you put the artist and the audience

in the best possible frame of mind,

you sometimes get these really nice moments.

Yes!

Jeff, you had the courage

to do exactly what you wanted to do.

Do you feel accomplished?

I do, almost.

There's one other thing I'd like to do.

What do you want to do, Jeff?

If that girl could come up to the stage,

- she knows who she is. - [crowd cheering]

[Dominik] And that's why live performance is endlessly fascinating

because you never know what's gonna happen.

[crowd cheering]

Edinburgh.

[Justin] The thing I love most about this tour

is--is truly just kind of the bus.

- [man] ♪ Sunday, Sunday-- ♪ - [man 2] ♪ Monday, happy days! ♪

[Sean] What a lovely day.

[Justin] There's not a bad attitude in the bunch,

and it's also just the communal experience

of seeing different countries together with your friends.

Seeing the fans' reactions to all this stuff

has been amazing.

I will remember it for the rest of my life.

[indistinct chattering]

I don't know, it just reminds me of like,

it's all the stuff you take for granted as a kid when you like walk around,

and you just walk across like, graveyards and fields and trees and everything,

but it's only when you get older you see somebody

when you live in a city or a town or something,

and you don't get to see that stuff anymore,

and then when you come back to it,

it just reminds me of being a kid again.

I've never been one to have much patriotism for Ireland

but...I don't know, now that I have some distance from it

I actually miss it a lot.

I've spent so long just working and figuring things out

that I haven't taken the time to actually figure out

who I am 100 percent and I'm excited to do that

rolling into like, my early 30's.

[indistinct chattering]

A lot of people use an audience and fame

and growth to patch over those holes in their life.

Maybe I was doing that for a long time as well myself, but

you have to find what makes you just base level content

at the end of the day.

And no amount of like, popularity or anything like that

is ever gonna do that for you.

I hear a lot of stories from people who are as depressed

if not more than I was back then,

who are just trying to find themselves,

they're trying to figure out what they want to do,

so to just show them like, it's okay,

you're allowed to feel this way.

I felt this way at this point in my life.

A lot of people in this room here with you right now

are feeling the exact same thing,

but like a video game, you fight the badness

and then you get the experience in your life

and you move onto the next part.

[gentle music]

[Sean] I haven't really thought about the end of it.

It will be really sad when we have to retire the show,

but it will be kind of cool to just end the show in Dublin

and leave it there.

It's strange.

I think it's more strange because of the fact

it's in a college.

A lot of the story in the show revolves around college

and failing college and not knowing what

you're gonna do with yourself, and then to come back here

to have one of the final--

to have the final show here surrounded by people

who are all going through that transitional period

- in their life. - Thanks.

[Sean] And how many of them are actually gonna end up

doing what they're studying, and how many of them

are actually gonna go on

and do something completely different.

How many other YouTubers are out here? [laughs]

Also nice to hear Irish accents again.

My one's gonna start gettin' thicker now

as we go through here.

[gull squawking]

[men laughing]

Comin' straight for me!

[Sean] It turned into a better show

than I thought it was going to.

We spent so long making it and I'm so proud of it

and I've been blown away by everybody else

backstage who's been able to keep it running and everything.

The fact that I got to go out and meet so many

of the people from the channel, like the community itself,

and not just at a convention,

but actually being able to see them in front of you

and react to the thing you're doing

that you're always kind of doing live,

was such a huge thing for me.

That filled me with so much joy and happiness,

but also being able to be on a bus with people

and create proper, life-long, close-bonded friendships

with people.

How did we get here?

It's a journey.

It's a journey through life and its obstacles

and achieving greatness above those obstacles.

[crowd cheering]

[Florrie] It doesn't make any difference to me,

he's still Sean to me and whatever he has, he has,

and I'm just happy for him.

He's my brother. I don't look at him as this big star or--

Yeah, same.

I'm just very proud of him and what he's achieved.

[Malcolm] He takes time for everybody

and that's what his heart beats for.

It's okay, I'll just stay holdin' onto him.

It beats for the people and that's just rare,

I think, in this world.

Exactly the same now as you were 15-20 years ago.

Just keep being who you are and you'll get to

where you actually want to be.

[music continues]

[Sean] Sadly, we've come to the end of our show.

[crowd groaning]

You guys had fun, right?

[crowd cheering]

Thank God!

I see Vernon over there going no.

- [crowd laughing] - [laughs]

But as I said at the start of the show,

we were gonna go through a journey,

and now you have seen various aspects of my life

through different periods of my life.

From the very beginning all the way up to

whatever the fuck this is.

[crowd laughing]

And I asked you guys one simple question

which was how did we get here?

And the reason that we are here,

the reason that I am up here doing any of this right now,

is because of all of you lovely people.

[crowd cheering]

There is no way that I would be able

to do this kind of thing or even do YouTube at all

or be half the person I am today

if it wasn't for everybody who watches the channel.

So whether you're here in this room tonight,

whether you're at home, whether you came to the channel

and left at some point, even if you came to the channel

and hated it, at least you gave it a chance,

and for that, I am forever grateful,

and I can never thank you all enough.

Thank you so much.

[crowd cheering]

[woman in audience] I fucking love you!

[crowd cheering]

When I was in that log cabin,

I became so depressed that I didn't know

what I was gonna do with the rest of my life,

but that does not matter.

What matters is that you keep fighting,

is that you keep pushing forward,

because we all go through our problems.

We all have problems whether it be small or large,

it does not matter, we're all going through it,

and the thing about all of this

and the reason that I got up here to tell this story,

specifically my story, was to show you

that I did not come from anywhere special.

I did not come from a very popular place

or anything like that.

But that doesn't matter either.

It doesn't matter where you come from.

Doesn't matter what you look like.

It doesn't matter what gender you are.

It doesn't matter if you're straight, gay, bi,

or anything in between.

[crowd cheering]

And I know I'm literally talking down

to a lot of you, but I hope that it never feels like that,

because the thing I take away from doing YouTube

each time, the thing that I've learned

over the five years of doing this,

is that we are all people.

The humanity behind it all.

The community behind it all.

We may look different on the outside,

we may act different, we may sound different,

but on the inside, we're all the same.

We're all people.

We're all going through our struggles together.

So it's about time we started treating each other that way.

Building each other up.

Helping each other out instead of tearing each other down

all the time.

So what I want people to do is go out

and be the heroes of your own stories.

Thank you.

[crowd cheering]

[upbeat music]