Original subtitles

♪ ♪

- Well, it looks like that's the last of it.

- Yeah. - Hmm.

Before I go, a little gift for my new star.

- Oh, Penelope. Oh, wow, they're gorgeous.

Thank you.

- Luca and I are so excited

to add you to our collection.

I've gotta run, but don't forget

about our holiday party tomorrow night.

I cannot wait to show you off.

- Okay, I'll be there. Thank you.

- Wonderful. Bye, ladies.

- Bye. - Bye.

Wow, I can't believe they bought all of your art.

It's a little lonely here without it.

- Ah, you'll get over it.

I nearly blacked out when I saw that check.

I can't wait to buy people expensive Christmas presents

instead of making them homemade junk.

- Should I stop making your gift now?

- Oh, no, no, no. I love that scarf.

- It's a poncho.

- I knew that.

- Hi, honey, what time should I pick you up

from Penn Station?

- Dad's picking me up from the school,

so I'll just ride with him to Rose's parents' party tonight.

- Oh, so your dad is definitely coming?

- It's the one present I requested for Christmas.

- One night together as a family.

- Well, couldn't I just crochet you something instead?

- Hmm. See you tonight!

- Oh, my God.

What did Nicolle Wallace do to piss you off?

I thought you liked her. - No, I do,

but arguing with her intelligently on Twitter

about immigration will move the needle with Dem voters

more than a screaming match with Ann Coulter.

- Holy shit.

- I just got a text from my agent.

"New York Magazine" is going to do an excerpt

from my first chapter.

- Ah, congratulations!

- Thanks.

- And you wrote the hell out of that chapter.

- Yeah, not until you pushed me.

Zane contributed a lot too.

- Don't be so self-effacing.

- That sounds like Washington-speak.

- Oh, no, you see,

in D.C., we don't leave our fingerprint on anything,

unless it's polling in the '70s.

- Oh.

- But I do think that we make a very good team.

- Mm-hmm.

I have a breakfast meeting.

- So do I. Should we jump in the shower?

What? It'll be faster.

Come on!

♪ ♪

- And lastly, I just want to thank all of you

for your hard work.

It's been a tumultuous year,

but you have been extraordinary,

and we're ending the year on a bit of very good news

from Millennial. Kelsey.

- Two pieces of good news, actually.

Well, first "Marriage Vacation" was number two

on the "Times" Holiday Reads list.

And we just got news this morning

that "New York Magazine" is going to excerpt

Jake Devereux's memoir before publication.

- You've both done a tremendous job on the book,

and I'm looking forward to reading it.

- Yeah. - So that is all.

Happy holidays and thank you.

- Hey, guys, the magazine reached out

and invited all of us to their holiday party,

if you're available.

- Great. Wouldn't miss it.

- Okay.

- Have a car at 7:30 at my house for the party,

and until then please keep that epilepsy trigger

as far away from my eyeline as possible.

- Hey, I just got that email

from Jake's agent before the meeting.

Sorry if I sprung that on you.

- Not sprung, I knew.

How?

- Who do you think leaked the chapter to "New York Magazine"?

- Wow. You're good.

- We're good.

So what time should we head out?

- Oh, um, I'm gonna have to meet you there,

because I'm-- I'm getting a blowout.

I'll see you there.

- I'll see you there then.

- Hey, congrats on the excerpt,

but I'm gonna have to miss the party tonight.

Why?

- Oh, it's family stuff.

- No! Oh, I need you there to run interference.

Jake and Zane.

I'm kind of like seeing both of them.

Why didn't you tell me?

- You have been gaslighting an entire company

since I met you.

Can I have one secret?

Oh, God.

- Sergei, it's Diana Trout in 4A.

I'm expecting someone soon.

If you can just send them up.

He did

- Surprise.

- It's so full.

So many pine needles.

It'll be Christmas all over my carpet.

- You're welcome. Could you, uh, scoot?

There we go.

Why don't you finish getting dressed and I'll set it up?

Or haul it away if you really hate it.

- I don't hate it.

- Work on that while you're in there.

♪ ♪

- Congratulations.

The last political book "New York Magazine" excerpted

was "Fire and Fury," so you're in good company.

- Well, I don't know if I'm on that level, but--

- Don't be so self-effacing.

- Well, I do know that I am lucky to be in such good hands.

- Mm-hmm.

- I am going to get us some champagne.

- ♪ I got one chance, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

- Thank you.

Success looks good on us.

- We haven't even finished the book.

- And yet, look at all these people

already talking about it.

- What's crazy is that we got in on the ground floor

of a huge wave of political nostalgia in publishing.

Ah, it's gonna be a big year for us, Peters.

What

- Nothing that I didn't do last weekend.

- Okay, but last weekend we were not at a party

with our author and our boss.

- Mistletoe.

That's poinsettia.

- Eh, close enough.

- Jake, it has been a pleasure,

but I have another holiday party tonight.

I look forward to reading the book.

- You know what, let me walk you out.

There's something I wanted to talk to you about in private.

- Yeah, please.

- We should get going to the party.

You can deal with that later.

That looks lovely. Ready?

- Slow down.

One more thing.

♪ ♪

Do you like it?

♪ ♪

- Ooh!

- Damn it.

- Thank you so much for inviting us.

Your home is beautiful. - Oh, thank you.

- Where'd you get the sweaters from?

- Bad Hanukkah sweaters are kind of our Christmas thing.

- Yeah, and then on Christmas Day,

Bob makes his reindeer latkes,

and we all make fun of a bad Christmas movie.

- Oh, I love that. I love that.

- So when will we see the Miller family tradition?

We don't really have a family thing.

- Oh, we most certainly do.

- Yeah, Caitlin told me once when we were drunk.

It sounds hilarious. - Don't play dumb, Mom.

- Yeah, don't play dumb, honey.

- Yeah!

- Hey, no, that was our thing when Caitlin was seven.

- Well, yeah, we've done it every year since.

- We did in the privacy of our own home.

- Come on, the Katzes are doing their family thing.

Caitlin promised that we would do ours.

- Uh, have to.

- I am dying to know what it is.

- Well, we can't 'cause David didn't bring an instrument.

- Oh, wait, it's in the car.

- Ah!

- Why does Dad know about this and not me?

- Because I knew you'd make that face

and try to get out of it.

- Yeah, a drunk promise is still a promise.

- Please, Mom. Please.

- I just really want to see it. - Please, please for me.

- Please, please!

- Okay, fine.

- I'm gonna need an apron

and, like, a gallon of eggnog heavily spiked.

- Yes!

- You're doing it! - Hell yeah, it's Miller Time!

- Ugh, you're so weird.

♪ ♪

- ♪ High on the hill was a lonely goatherd ♪

♪ Lay-dee, oh-de-lay-dee, oh-de-lay-hee-hoo ♪

♪ Loud was the voice of the lonely goatherd ♪

♪ Lay-dee, oh-de-lay-dee, oda-loo ♪

- ♪ Folks in the town that was quite remote heard ♪

♪ Lay-dee, oh-de-lay-dee, oh-de-lay-hee-hoo ♪

♪ Lusty and clear from the goatherd's throat heard ♪

♪ Lay-dee, oh-de-lay-dee, oda-loo ♪

both: ♪ Yo-ho, lay-dee, oh-da-lay-dee ♪

♪ Oh yo ho, lay-de-oh-de-lay ♪

♪ Yo-oh, lay-dee-oh-de-lay ♪

- Charles! - ♪ Hey ♪

♪ One little girl in a pale pink coat heard ♪

♪ Lay-dee, oh-de-lay-dee, oh-de-lay-hee-hoo ♪

- That's the woman we've been wanting to set you up with.

- I have been wanting to set you up with.

both: ♪ Yo-ho, lay-dee, oh-da-lee-oh ♪

♪ Yo ho, lay-de-oh-de-lay ♪

- Her daughter is Rose's roommate.

- Don't worry about him.

That's the ex. Out of the picture.

- This is just their holiday tradition.

- Huh.

- ♪ Yo-de-lay-hee ♪ - ♪ Yo-de-lay-hee ♪

♪ ♪

both: ♪ Yo-de-lay-dee, yo-de-lay, hey ♪

- They're really good. - Oh, excuse me, fraulein.

There is someone who would like to meet you.

- Charles Brooks, this is Liza Miller.

- Very nice to meet you, Liza.

- You too.

- That's quite an act you've got there.

- Charles owns a publishing company.

- And didn't you used to work in publishing, Liza?

- When I was younger.

A different life.

- Well, you two have so much to talk about.

- There you are. I want you to meet somebody.

Oh, sorry, hi.

- Um, this is Charles Brooks.

He's a friend of the Katzes.

This is my daughter, Caitlin.

- Hi, Caitlin. - Hi.

Mom, Becky, just got here.

I want you to say hello.

- Oh, Becky. I love Becky.

- Yeah. You've never met her.

- Well, if you've met one Becky, you've met 'em all.

Right? Excuse us.

We can set you up if you're interested.

- She is definitely interesting.

- Good morning.

- Oh, good morning.

Who died and made you Karl Lagerfeld?

- I'm just trying on looks for Penelope's party.

Do you think I could pull off a harness?

- Hmm, that's a choice every woman has to make for herself.

- Ugh, David kept putting his arm around me,

and Caitlin goaded me into yodeling

in a roomful of strangers.

- Oh, just like Norman Rockwell painted it.

- And then Charles showed up.

- In braids and a makeshift dirndl

while David played the accordion.

- Oh, this is the worst secondhand embarrassment

I've ever felt, and my cousin is still in "Stomp."

- Yeah, I can't wait to never talk about it again.

Hi, good morning.

- Ugh, I thought you were making breakfast.

This is for infants. - It's for hangovers.

- Hey, Tilda Swinton. - I'll take it.

Ah, what's up, Caitlin?

I, uh, I just wanted to drop off some presents

before I head to my mom's tonight.

- Oh. - Oh, that's so sweet.

Thank you. - Don't get too excited.

It's just a little something I made.

- So is mine.

Sorry, I didn't have time to wrap it.

- Oh. - Merry Christmas.

- It's perfect.

- Yay. - I love it, thank you.

- You're so welcome.

- Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas. Thank you.

- You and Josh are hanging out again?

- No, we're just friends.

"It's perfect." Ah, he still loves you!

- And I am still too old for him.

- Since when does he care that you're old?

- Since I am your mom.

And my romantic relationships are none of your business.

♪ ♪

- I did, yeah. Come on in, have a seat.

- You left before the party got going last night.

Everybody was talking about Devereux and Millennial.

We're gonna have to hunker down and work the rest

of that book over pretty hard over the break.

- That is actually what I wanted to discuss.

Before I left last night,

Jake said he feels the process could use some--

um, some streamlining.

- Whatever he wants, I'm sure we can accommodate.

- He would prefer to work with Kelsey

for the rest of the book.

Why?

Zane and I both worked on that chapter.

He's the reason it's in the magazine.

- He said he doesn't want to tie up two editors

when one could do the job.

Now, he was very--

- Political.

- Diplomatic.

- Well, at the end of the day,

the author gets what the author wants.

Right, Peters?

- Zane. Zane, slow down.

- Do you wanna tell me what that was or should I guess?

- I didn't orchestrate that.

- Okay, I'll guess.

There's something going on between you two.

Right?

- I knew he had a thing for you.

I should have stopped this the second I saw it.

- I did not ask Jake to take you off the book.

- Well, he did.

And now you have your bestseller all to yourself.

I hope it was worth it.

♪ ♪

- It was very nice to meet you last night.

Very charming.

Try humiliating.

- No, not at all.

- You saw me yodel.

You might as well have seen my naked.

Not that I'm recommending that either.

I'm--I'm gonna go. Merry Christmas.

- Wait.

So is this an annual thing?

- It was when we were still together.

We did it once when Caitlin was little,

and she begged us every year after that.

I guess it meant more to her than I realized.

- A few years ago, we, uh-- we hosted an Easter egg roll,

and the bunny cancelled, so I had to step in.

I was hunched over in that costume for three hours.

Soaked in sweat.

It's amazing, the things that we do for our kids.

Isn't it?

- Caitlin's why I work so hard for my job.

Why I did what I did.

♪ ♪

Anyway, um, what are you doing for the holidays?

Uh, Pauline has the girls for a few days,

so I'm going skiing, and then I'm gonna meet them

at their grandparents' house in Florida.

And you?

- Caitlin's with me all week.

So I'll probably just be tracking her phone

and panicking the entire time.

- So is that what I have to look forward to?

- Oh, no, you have two of them. It's going to be much worse.

♪ ♪

Um...I should, um,

I should probably get this to Diana.

- Yes.

♪ ♪

Liza, I'm leaving for the holidays,

but I wanted to give you this.

- Diana, that's so sweet.

I thought you weren't a Christmas person.

- I'm not, but Enzo got a tree,

and it looked empty with no gifts under it, so...

- I like this guy for you.

- Enough about him. Open it.

- Oh.

Ohh.

It's gorgeous.

- Neckwear should inspire envy, Liza, not seizures.

- Thank you.

Diana, oh, uh, here.

It's nothing extravagant, but...

Thank you, Liza. Never give it up.

The wealth disparity just makes it awkward for both of us.

- Of course.

- Oh, uh, one more thing.

From Charles, your bonus.

More that I approved, but...

you earned it.

Merry Christmas.

- Merry Christmas.

♪ ♪

Oh, hi, George.

- You just missed him.

♪ ♪

- Let me know when you'd like me to come by

to help install my art.

- Of course, I will definitely keep you posted.

- Great.

- Maggie Amato, this is Akilah Jeffries.

- Akilah, oh, I'm such a huge fan.

I loved your lighting installation

in Battery Park during Occupy.

- Well, thank you, my dear.

Are you coming to St. Bart's in February?

- She doesn't know it yet, but she is.

- It's a fabulous artists' retreat.

We get a house and a yacht and we just unplug.

- I'm always my freest in St. Bart's.

- Tell her how much fun it is, Akilah.

- So what are you working on lately?

I can't remember the last time I saw one of your exhibits.

- Oh, it's been a minute.

I've slowed down somewhat since Penelope and Luca

bought my entire collection.

- Oh, wow, me too. Where are they displaying your pieces?

- All in storage. We're an investment now.

Not that I'm complaining.

I went to Turks and Caicos twice last year.

- Yo, I don't know that there's an SPF high enough

for me to handle that many Caribbean retreats.

- It's not really up to you anymore, dear.

- Did Penelope give these to you?

- Mm-hmm.

- A little on-the-nose. Don't tell her I said that.

She thinks it's clever.

- A toast to St. Bart's.

- St. Bart's. - I can't make it.

I'm sorry.

I'm really thankful for everything,

but I just don't feel that I'm the right fit

for your collection.

- I didn't make all of this work

for it to be buried in the artistic Sunken Place.

Merry Christmas. Good night.

♪ ♪

- Josh. - Hey.

- Hey!

- Uh, nothing.

I just, um, wanted to wish you a merry Christmas.

- Merry Christmas.

Just heading to LaGuardia, so...

- Hey, I don't know what happened

between you and my mom,

but I hope you guys work it out.

- What, did she say something to you?

- No, but...

you're the best thing to happen to her in a long time.

You're good for her.

- Whatever you say.

- Just don't give up on her.

Okay?

- Okay.

- Good.

Have a good holiday.

- Yeah, you too. Yeah.

- I told you the side streets would be a mess in the snow.

We should have taken the BQE.

- It's fine.

- ♪ High on a hill was a lonely goatherd ♪

♪ Lay-ee, oh-de-lay-dee, oh-de-lay-hee-hoo ♪

♪ That was the voice of... ♪

- The beloved classic returns to Broadway.

- ♪ Folks in a town that was quite remote heard ♪

- Actually, can you turn around?

I'm not gonna go to the airport.

- First chance I get, boss.

- ♪ Yo-del-ay, yo-del-loo ♪

- ♪ I know I can't ♪

♪ I can't be everything I want ♪

♪ All in one ♪

♪ Just the one for you ♪

♪ We make up, up some pieces ♪

♪ Puzzle pieces ♪

- What are you-- - I don't care anymore.

- ♪ We fit all adding up ♪

♪ ♪

♪ If you want a second to breathe ♪

♪ I'll give you all of my love ♪

♪ I'll give you all that you need ♪

♪ Don't worry, I'm not in a hurry ♪

♪ Not going nowhere, I'm not going nowhere ♪