Original subtitles

Rest of the house!

Come on.

Who wants a TV?

Come on.

Say your prayer, motherfucker.

You little bitch.

# Single girl, single girl #

# wears a silk so fine #

# wears silk so fine #

# wears a silk so fine #

# Married girl, married girl #

# She wears just any old kind #

# She wears just any old kind #

# Single girl, single girl #

# Goes just where she please #

# She goes where she please #

# Married girl, married girl #

# baby on her knees #

# baby on her knees #

# Baby on her knees #

# Baby on her knees #

She's got blonde hair and blue eyes.

First you put her in a bag,

and do this.

This is how you should do it.

This is... this is how you should do it.

I told you I'd kill it.

I told you I'd kill it.

My cousin taught me and I never did forget it.

Now, you take a good old apple,

and you get... one of these razor blades.

See?

You shove it in there...

real good, real deep.

So no mother fucker can see it.

And then...

you go up to someone real sweet like,

and you say, "would you like an apple?"

Try it. Here, you hold that.

And say, "would you like an apple?"

Would you like an apple?

Yeah. And then you watch 'em eat it.

And when he... when they figure out what him 'em,

it's too late.

Get it.

Get that trash pussy!

Make me some.

Mixing pancakes.

Make me some goddamn shitty.

Make pancakes.

I know they're good.

- Put butter in there, that's good. - See me make those pancakes.

This looks good. Oh yeah.

That's real butter there.

Make pancakes.

- That's nice. - Make them like Dan made them.

- Put the butter in there afterwards. - That's that cow butter.

Put them in there.

Put them in there with the butter afterwards like Dan makes them.

Sizzle them up good on the bottom.

That's good. Like that, that's a good pancake.

Put the butter in there afterwards.

Good. Now, put it in there with the pancake.

Put the butter in there afterwards.

- Put the butter in there like Dan makes them. - Like Dan makes them.

Make it, make it, make it, don't fake it.

Make it, make it, make it, goddamn it.

Make it, make it, make it, don't fake it.

- Make it, make it, don't fake it. - Uncle Dan makes it with the butter.

- Come on, bitch. - Put the butter in last.

You put the butter in now.

- You put the butter in now... - No, I'll put it in it now.

- That's what I said. - Flip that shit.

Make it, make it, don't fake it.

- Flip it. - Make it, make it, don't fake it.

Look at that, golden brown.

Make it, make it.

- Make it, make it, don't fake it. - Make it, make it, don't fake it.

- Make it, make it, don't fake... - - Make it, make it, don't fake...

Make it, don't fake it!

Make it, make it, don't fake it!

Bring me a pancake, bitch.

Alright.

That shit is poison!

- You're gonna like it. It's really good. - Looks delicious, it's really good.

- That shit is poison! - Is there anything else?

You're gonna eat what these motherfuckers give you?

I don't think so. You sit down, bitch.

And you sit down.

You go get the soap.

Soap.

Syrup? You mean syrup, right?

- No. - No.

That soap. Go get it.

- I'll get it. - Alright.

Sit down. Sit down right there.

- Sit down. Sit down right there. - Yeah.

- Sit down. - Sit down right there.

- You know what we're talking about. - Sit down, sit down.

You gonna eat these pancakes.

With this soap.

Here, give it to them.

- No. - I ain't gonna eat that.

I wanna watch you pour this shit

all over and

soak your fruit with them suds.

- On the pancakes. - Soak that.

- Soak that through. - Right fucking there.

Soak that through, soak that through.

Put more on there.

- Get it good, get it good. - More?

Is that enough?

Put more. Get it good.

Alright, that's good.

See, I cut you a good piece for you to eat.

And I wanna see you swallow, bitch.

That's gonna be real good.

Mmm, that looks good.

You put that in your mouth.

No, no, you eat that.

You eat that, yeah.

Come on, you're gonna get some too.

Come on, you got some too.

Yeah.

Heads.

It would be nice...

to live without...

a head.

Think how much money you would save on

shampoo and hats.

Models would be judged by their shoulders.

And your ears would be in your armpits.

And everyone would look like a stump.

And sweaters, they would fit

like socks!

Boxers would all have to only rely on body blows.

Dandruff would be obsolete.

No more zits, no more teen naggings,

lower ceilings!

Chest hair...

would replace the need for beards.

People would buy less tables.

They could eat off their table-like stumps.

No more guillotines.

People would weigh eight to eleven pounds less.

And best of all,

no one would get

dizzy again.

Da da da da da da da daaaa...

The Eng and Chang story.

- I'm Eng. - I'm Chang.

- And together we are Eng and Chang. - Eng and Chang.

We are very famous freak show performers.

We are very very rich.

You love long time.

You pay now!

We made lot of money.

- We move to America. - North Carolina.

Yeah. We have twenty-four children between us.

We hire a housekeeper named Wanda.

She four foot two.

Wear size sixteen shoe.

She keep family together.

One day, I catch tuberculosis.

And then I die.

Chang.

Eng, I am a doctor

that is here to perform the surgery

that will separate you from your deceased brother

allowing you to continue living.

Oh, that's okay doc.

I think about it.

Me die too.

Aw.

What happened?

- What happened? - I said make us laugh, motherfucker.

That's sad.

- The end. - The end.

That shit was depressing.

Aw, look at this.

Come on, honey.

That's it, man.

Get it in there, get it all in there.

Get it all in there.

You look better.

Damn.

That's right.

Damn.

Come on, baby.

Are you still nice and hard

after I sucked that fucking cock of yours?

Uh-huh.

I'll teach you a move that I learned back, it was graced from

god from pygmies and shit.

- I learned moves that were taken from - Show us.

voodoo priestesses and pygmies and shit.

And coldblooded killers.

Hyenas with mouths that go hey!

They wanna tear off that head, I'll snap that motherfucking neck

and dance, dance, dance!

# Holy night #

# All is calm #

# All is bright #

# Round yon Virgin, Mother and Child #

# Holy infant so tender and mild #

# Sleep in heavenly peace #

# Sleep in heavenly peace #

- See anything? - I see this house right here.

This house right here.

This is a big one.

I think that we can go around here.

You still got that thing on?

- See the same house. - Shh.

There goes that...

Right there.

I said, "do what?"

He says, "I'm gonna kill you."

And then his hand was all wrapped up and everything.

And, it turns out

I went to the nurse and said

that the guy said that he was gonna kill me. And...

She said, "Well, when he was in basic training...

"they accused him of being gay...

"and when you said that he got screwed in the hand,

"he thought you were talking about getting screwed."

And he was gonna kill me.

And he was gonna kill me,

because he thought I was talking about him being gay too.

And I had to spend the night in the same

um, ward as this big huge black man,

and I was scared to death.

I was scared to death.

Thank goodness I got out of there though. Apparently um...

he must've fallen asleep before I did,

because I didn't fall asleep at all.

But then, I got back to work

and everything turned out okay and everything.

Please turn that baby off.

I'm not into the baby routine when I'm doing my exercises.

And I'll hold it for forty seconds.

And then I duck down...

and then I come back up for another forty seconds.

And I'm gonna cut this short.

I'm just showing you what my routine is.

And then I drop back down...

and then I do it one more time for forty seconds.

And then, I flip over...

like this in my bed,

which I'm always comfortable in my bed.

And I flip over like this,

and I get like this,

and I raise up,

and then I raise up like this, and then he tells me

to act like I'm holding an orange underneath my neck.

And I hold this for sixty seconds.

And I've already done this once today, so

I don't need to over do it again.

And then I drop back down,

and I do it another time and hold it like this, and...

Get her down, get it down!

Don't tell me what to do.

You're not my doctor and

you have no responsibility telling me what to do.

Get it down!

# Three little devils jumped over the wall #

# La la la-di-doo-da #

# Three little devils jumped over the wall #

# Lopped off his head #

# murdered it all #

# Lopped-di-bop doodle da day #

# Oh mister devil #

# you surely love me #

# La la la-di-doo-da #

# Oh mister devil you surely love me #

# Kill this bitch and strung to a tree #

# And lopped-di-bop doodle da day #

# Oh mister devil #

# Each little day #

# keeps me alive #

# Lo-do, lo-di-do-do #

# Three little devils jumped over the wall #

# La la la-di-doo-da #

# Three little devils jumped over the wall #

# Lopped off her head and swallowed him all #

# La-di-da doodle #

# jumped over the wall #

# Lopped off his head and murdered him all #

# Lopped-di-bop doodle da day #

Listen, I got something I wrote...

I've got something for you. Okay?

This is for you. My friend.

# Three little devils jumped over the wall #

# La la la-di-doo-da #

We are to witness the evolution

of man's contribution

to the highest reward of the species.

With his lion heart thumping,

- and his pathetic hips pumping. - Stop it, stop it!

a garbage and animal feces.

You say it's moronic, bubonic,

demonic. I say it's princely and just.

Just look around at this world.

At the grisly facts

of what so-called civilization has done to us.

There's wrappers and bottles and

cans with words that

lie and squeeze us to push.

We're no better off than ravioli that's tossed.

We are the slime and the goop.

We wear our suits, we wear our dresses,

perfumes and colognes,

and our hair is coiffed and oiled.

We live in immaculate huts with our kitties and pups,

and pretend that the world isn't spoiled.

But we laugh, and we stroke,

and we talk witty, and we joke,

with the air of entitled elites.

But in the shadows there lurks

these mountains of dirt,

and the godawful stench of our feet.

We've torn it asunder, by plunder and blunder,

God's wonderful masterpiece,

depraved it, paved it,

trashed it and bashed it.

Someone call the jock rush police!

So high, why I ask why,

why do we castigate these creatures

whose angelic features and bumping and grinding our trash?

Are they not spawned by our greed?

Are they not our true seed?

Are they not what we've bought for our cash?

- # Three little devils jumped over the wall # - We created this lot.

Of the use and the rot,

deliberately and unabashed,

whose orgastic elation

and more ignition in creation,

is to savagely fornicate trash!

Suck it, suck it, don't fuck it!

Suck it!

Big fat booty.

Get it, get it, get it!

Get that little doggy!

Let's do that bitch doggy style.

Hold on.

Put a little spotlight on that motherfucker.

Shit melted.

- Come on, come on. - Come here, little buddy.

- Melted. - Don't let him tease you.

Don't let that bitch, til fucking...

Don't let him tease you.

What's that shit?

You'd better go somewhere.

Damn, ya'll killed this dude.

Ya'll kilt'it this shit.

Do not leave this in your mind.

Ya'll kilt'it this shit.

Damn.

We're right up behind you.

This dude danced his last dance, for god's sake.

God damn.

That's a head fracture.

Fuck this shit.

That's a head fucking fracture.

Hold on.

Make sure my hair looks good.

Make sure my locks are looking good.

Make it, make it, don't take it.

Make it, make it, don't fake it.

Make it, make it, don't take it.

Make it, make it, don't fake it.

Shit, ya'll I'm outta here. Fuck that.

Too hot for this shit.

It's too hot for TV.

Damn.

Fucking hell.

Wait, you got a little blood on your lip.

Fuck ya'll. You try it.

Oh shit.

Damn.

Ya'll kilt'it this dude.

Look mom, I'm dead.

- I'm dead too. - Yes you did, buddy.

- I'm dead too. - You did a good job now.

I broke leg three times.

Broke leg.

Are you kidding me? Three times?

Come up here,

tractor wheel went off me right here.

Right on my head.

Had two finger track like that.

Well, Lord have mercy. Feel that.

I've been run over by a tractor.

At three o'clock.

- Twister. - Yeah.

Come on.

Come on, now.

Yeah.

Come on, now.

Come on, yeah.

Get up, girl.

Damn it.

Put that camera up.

It's hotter than hell in here.

Don't take it, make it.

Drink it, slide it down.

Get it down, get it down!

Batter up, batter up!

Been here all week.

Go into the casino

and the man who runs it says to me,

"You look like you got a lot of meat down there."

And I say, "I'll fucking kick your ass, you faggot."

A colored gentleman was laughing real hard at that.

And uh...

two faggots walk into an old shop,

and say uh, "Where's that tire I asked to have fixed?" And they say,

"You'd better watch it. We don't like your kind around here."

"You look like you wanna suck a cock."

He was like, "You wanna suck on a fucking cock."

Shut up, I'm trying to tell them.

So, there's two black guys

and they're like, watching some uh, some white dude's car.

And he's not looking and they start

soaping up each other's fucking asses

and fucking each other.

And the neighbors can see out of the damn window.

Did you get that whole thing?

Did you get that?

- Make it, make it, don't take it. - You're a fucking asshole.

- Make it, make it. - So,

You're a fucking asshole and you'd better go home

cause I'm trying to tell jokes up here.

Okay, so there's this gay guy,

and he's fucking talking to this girl,

and she's like, "Do you wanna go home with me?"

And he's like, "No, I'm fucking queer."

"I'm not gonna fuck a pussy. I love asses."

Anyway, these two black guys

- No asses apparently. - I don't know that one.

Hey wait, no, don't stop.

Don't stop, I got more.

Uh, so this guy...

So these two pigeons are on the beach,

and one of the pigeons is uh,

showing uh, not a pigeon, a seagull.

Fuck!

# over the wall #

# La la la-di-doo-da #

# Three little devils jumped over the wall #

# Lopped off their heads, murdered them all #

So, I got these shelves for my cats.

I thought they would like to climb on them but,

everything I put on them they would knock off so this

is the watch goat,

and this is how I know

if they've been up this high or not.

Cause if they knock this off, then I'll know they've been up there.

So they got up there,

so now there's nothing on these shelves, because they can knock anything off.

When they were younger they could only go up to this shelf.

And then they got gradually up to this shelf.

And then it was all over after that.

And then they started knocking stuff off of this.

This is a watch goat.

And it's still here.

I got a new radio. I don't think they're gonna fuck with it.

Go to sleep, go to sleep.

Go to sleep boy, go to sleep boy.

Go to sleep boy, go to sleep!

Go to sleep boy, go to sleep.

Come on, come on.

Come on, that's it. Dream, dream, dream.

Come on, go to sleep. Go to sleep.

Go to sleep boy, go to sleep, go to sleep.

Go to sleep boy, go to sleep.

Come on, come on, come on.

Go to sleep, go to sleep boy.

Come on, that's it. Sleep! Sleep!

Sleep boy! Sleep!

That's it, that's it.

# Birthday dear Buddy #

# Happy birthday to you #

There you go Buddy.

Don't worry Buddy, it's gonna come out.

I have faith in you.

You're a good boy, and it's gonna come out.

Come and see. Guten Morgen.

Come and see into my house.

I promise you

that no matter how badly you're burned

or what an ancient revenant you are,

you will find in me

an extrapolative monstrosity

of redemption.

And here we go with redemption.

Oh, goddamn is, caught on a...

There you are, here we go.

Yeah, yeah.

A lot of girls think my pectoral muscles

are incredibly great.

A lot of girls,

a lot of girls think

that my gigantic pecker

is uh, uh a plus.

But, you know something?

They never seem to jack me off.

Hey, look at him. Look at him.

Look at him, my pal.

My pal, he's a revenant.

He's seventh son of the seventh son.

He can't die.

He's already six hundred years old.

And he can't die.

I... listen,

I reserve the right to die.

I reserve the right to die. Here we go.

I reserve the right to die.

If nobody thinks that I can

put my pecker in gigantic

birth canals, and uh...

with girth

uh work all the side walls out,

then let me tell you,

it is a sick hoax.

A sick hoax.

You girls sure suck

large fat

penis.

# You girls just suck large fat penis #

# You girls... #

Get it, get it.

Hi. I love you.

I love you, baby doll.

You've got a face like an angel, baby.

You got a face like a fucking angel, baby.

I love you, baby.

You got a face only a mama could love.

Get it, get it.

Get it, get it.

Get it, get it.

Get it.

Get it. Get that shit.

They don't make women like that much anymore.

Kind of woman who could change a man.

Kind of woman that could uh, turn a man...

Oh shit.

Sometimes I sweat like this,

my hair just feels like it's...

Uh oh, what the fuck's that?

Oh, I know that dude.

What's up? What's up, Dale?

I wouldn't trust that motherfucker.

I wouldn't trust that motherfucker...

Like I was saying,

sometimes, and this is an important,

this is important.

You don't really understand the importance.

But sometimes when I drive through these

streets at night,

I could smell the pain of all these people living in here.

I could smell how all these people are just...

trapped in their lives.

Their day to day lives.

They don't see much.

Sometimes they get lost in it.

Other times they..

they just feel lost.

I could feel their pain.

Like, coming from these trees and these houses.

I could feel that pain and...

it hurts me to think that

I live such a balanced life.

All these people,

going to work, going to pray on Sundays and...

playing with their children and...

I never quite understand that.

Why anyone would choose to live that way.

It's a stupid way to live.

That's a stupid, stupid, stupid way to live.

See, what people don't understand is

that we choose to live...

like free, free, free people.

You know, we choose to live like...

a people should live.

I don't follow no rules on Sunday.

I don't eat no pies on Monday.

I don't play no games on Tuesday.

I don't cry myself to sleep on Wednesday.

It's all just...

I don't know,

one long game, I guess you could call it.

One long, long game.

And uh, I expect we'll win it.

I expect that all these people will be dead and buried

long long before I even catch my second wind.

I feel like a young boy.

I feel like a new man.

# Three little devils jumped over the wall #

# La la la-di-doo-da #

# Three little devils jumped over the wall #

# Lopped off them head and murdered them all #

# And lopped-di-bop doodle da day #

# Oh mister devil you surely love me #

# La la la-di-doo-da #

# Oh mister devil you surely love... #

I don't mean to do wrong, Lord.

Why don't you guide me?

I don't know which way I'm going.

# La da la-di-da #

# lopped-di-bop doodle da day #

# One little devil chased round as a skunk #

# All alone down in the dump #

# And lopped-di-bop doodle da day #

# Single girl, single girl #

# She goes just where she please #

# She goes just where she please #

Bloody little baby.

Bloody little baby.

# Going to sleep it's going to be fine #

# Going to sleep is on my mind #

# Going to sleep and sleep through the night #

# You're gonna be alright #

# Sleep my darling and don't you wake #

# Til morning comes and the day breaks #

# Sleep my darling and don't you wake #

# Til morning shines through #

# Sleep my darling and it's gonna be fine #

# You will see that you will be mine #

# Sleep my baby all the night through #

# And don't let the bedbugs bite you #

# Sleep my darling and don't you wake #

# Until the morn comes, until the day breaks #

# Sleep my baby the whole night through #

# And know that I love you #