Original subtitles

[BUGS BUNNY] EH, AN ACADEMY AWARD WINNING CARTOON SHORT.

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.

NOBLE KNIGHTS OF THE ROUND TABLE,

AHEM,

EVER SINCE THE ACCURSED BLACK KNIGHT

CAPTURED OUR SINGING SWORD,

EVIL TIMES HATH BEFALLEN US.

AHEM.

ONE OF YE KNIGHTS

MUST RECOVER THE SINGING SWORD.

THE BLACK KNIGHT

HAS A FIRE-BREATHING DRAGON.

BUT--BUT--BUT THE BLACK KNIGHT

IS INVINCIBLE.

ODSBODKINS!

HATH THE KNIGHTS OF THE ROUND TABLE

TURNED CHICKEN?

[KNIGHTS SQUAWKING]

YUK YUK YUK YUK YUK!

YUK YUK YUK!

ONLY A FOOL WOULD GO AFTER

THE SINGING SWORD.

A GOOD IDEA...FOOL.

WHA...?

UNLESS YOU BRING BACK

THE SINGING SWORD,

YOU WILL BE PUT TO THE RACK,

BURNED AT THE STAKE,

AND BEHEADED.

BE-BE-BEHEADED?

HA HA HA!

HA HA HA!

[CRYING]

[SNORING]

[SNORING]

AH-AH-AH-CHOO!

[DRAGON] AH-CHOO!

YOU CRAZY, IDIOT, BEDRAGGLED DRAGON!

I WARNED YOU ABOUT LETTING YOUR FIRE GET LOW.

NOW YOU CAUGHT COLD.

[SNORING]

SO THIS IS THE SINGING SWORD.

BIG DEAL.

I WONDER WHY THEY CALL IT

THE SINGING SWORD.

� AAH AAH AAH AAH AAH AAH AAH �

� AAH AAH AAH �

DROP THAT SWORD, VARMINT!

QUICK!

THE SINGING SWORD'S BEEN STOLEN!

WAKE UP, YOU FIRE-BREATHING LIZARD!

STOP BREATHING ON ME, YOU IDIOT!

HEH HEH! THAT WAS SIMPLE.

EEE! EEE! EEE!

WHOA, DRAGON!

WHOA!

WHOA!

[SCREECH]

[SPLASH]

STUPID DRAGON.

HOW'S THE WATER, DOC?

OPEN THAT BRIDGE, VARMINT!

OPEN IT, I SAY!

CLOSE IT! CLOSE IT!

CLOSE IT UP AGAIN!

O.K., RABBIT,

YOU FORCED ME TO USE FORCE.

[WHIP SNAPPING]

HAH! HAH, DRAGON!

HEY! HAH! YAH, DRAGON!

HAH, DRAGON! HAH!

PREPARE YOURSELF, RABBIT.

I'M A-COMIN' OVER THE WALL.

[THUD]

[SPLASH]

YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS, VARMINT.

NOW, UH,

LET'S SEE IF I REMEMBER.

HEAD DOWN, LEFT ARM STIFF...

AH-AH-AH-CHOO!

OW!

YOU IDIOT.

AH-CHOO!

[SNORTING]

AH--

AAH! DON'T SNEEZE, YOU STUPID DRAGON,

OR YOU'LL BLOW US TO THE MOON!

[DRAGON] AH-AH-AH-CHOO!

DRAGONS IS SO STUPID.

ADIOS! HAVE A NICE TRIP!

BON VOYAGE! FAREWELL TO THEE!

� AAH AAH AAH �

� AAH AAH AAH AAH �

� AAH AAH AAH AAH AAH �

� AAH AAH �

[BUGS BUNNY] HE GOT AN OSCAR, AND I GOT A CARROT.

SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, IN THREE ACTS,

WELCOME TO FRIZ FRELENG'S

LOONEY LOONEY LOONEY BUGS BUNNY MOVIE,

STARRING--HA HA HA! LITTLE OLD ME.

EH, WHAT'S UP, DOC?

YOU'RE DESPICABLE!

SUFFERIN' SUCCOTASH!

OOH! I THOUGHT I TAW A PUDDY TAT!

TH-TH-THE NAME'S PORKY PIG.

[BUGS BUNNY] EH, WHEN HOLLYWOOD WAS JUST A KID,

THE WHOLE WORLD FELL IN LOVE

WITH THE WACKY AND WONDERFUL SLAPSTICK COMEDY.

IT WAS THE TIME OF BAGGY-PANTS COMICS

AND FAR-OUT GAGS.

THEN WARNER BROTHERS GAVE THE WORLD

MERRIE MELODIES AND LOONEY TUNES.

FRIZ FRELENG AND HIS FELLOW INNOVATORS

CREATED SOME OF THE ZANIEST, LOONIEST CHARACTERS

TO EVER APPEAR ON THE SILVER SCREEN,

AND THE BAGGY-PANTS COMICS WAS OUT.

AS CHARLIE CHAPLIN HIMSELF ONCE SAID,

"HOW CAN WE COMPETE?

THESE GUYS DON'T HAVE TO STOP TO TAKE A BREATH."

THEN FROM THE MAGIC PEN OF FRIZ FRELENG

CAME A WARMHEARTED, HUMBLE, LITTLE INTROVERT

CALLED YOSEMITE SAM.

ANY ONE OF YOU LILY-LIVERED, BOWLEGGED VARMINTS

CARE TO SLAP LEATHER WITH ME?

IN CASE ANY OF YOU GET ANY IDEAS,

YOU BETTER KNOW WHO YOU'RE DEALING WITH.

I'M THE HOOTINGEST, TOOTINGEST, SHOOTINGEST

BOBTAIL WILDCAT IN THE WEST.

I'M THE FASTEST GUN NORTH, SOUTH, EAST,

AND WEST OF THE PECOS.

WELL, HELLO THERE.

$50 MILLION!

OOH. HMM.

THAT WIDOW OUGHT TO

GET MARRIED.

WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON THAT MONEY,

I'LL BUY THE OLD LADIES HOME

AND KICK THE OLD LADIES OUT.

I'LL HAVE THE ORPHANS' HOME TORN DOWN,

AND I'LL GET RID OF THE POLICE DEPARTMENT.

HA HA HA!

HEH. THAT EVIL CHARACTER'S AFTER

THAT NICE OLD LADY'S MONEY.

LOOKS LIKE THIS BOY SCOUT'S

GOING TO DO HIS GOOD DEED FOR TODAY.

OOH! OH, IT'S CHILLY IN HERE.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

COMING.

COMING.

I WANT YOU, BABY--

YOUR EYES, YOUR LIPS.

COME WITH ME TO THE KASBAH.

WE'LL MAKE BEAUTIFUL MUSIC TOGETHER.

[PLAYING TRUMPET]

OH!

HA HA HA!

COME TO PAPA, BABY.

NOTHING LIKE THIS HAS HAPPENED TO ME

SINCE THE BOYS GOT BACK

FROM GETTYSBURG.

OH! OH! OOH!

OH! OH, GOODNESS!

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

OH, GOODNESS.

SOMEONE'S AT THE DOOR.

DON'T GO AWAY. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

AHA! I FIND YOU, MY LITTLE PIGEON.

FLY WITH ME TO PARIS.

HA HA HA!

OH! HOO HOO! MY!

20 YEARS NOTHING,

AND THEN IT ALL PILES UP

IN ONE DAY.

OH! HA HA HA!

OH, GOODNESS ME!

OH! OH! OH!

[WIDOW] OH! HOO HOO HOO!

EH, WHAT IS UP, MONSIEUR LE PHYSICIEN?

YOU DARN DUDE!

I'LL GIVE YOU A TASTE OF LEATHER!

HA! YOU HAVE INSULTED GREAT LOVER.

THE MARQUIS OF QUEENSBERRY RULES.

TAKE THIS.

OH!

PISTOLS AT 10 PACES?

YOU'RE ON.

EN GARDE.

I'M READY.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5,

6, 7, 8, 9, 9 1/2,

9 3/4, 9 3/16, 11/16,

12/16, 10!

[HONK]

YEP. IT'S RIGHT ON TIME.

OOH, WHAT A NIGHT.

OPEN UP!

[YOSEMITE SAM] OPEN UP THAT DOOR!

COMING.

COMING.

NOW I GOT...

EMMA!

OH, YOU'RE CUTE.

[HONK]

HA HA HA!

YAHOO!

HA HA HA!

OH, MY! HA HA!

HA HA HA!

[RUMBLING]

[CRASH]

OH, HEAVENS TO BETSY!

HE'S LOOPED!

YOU'D BETTER SIT DOWN

WHILE I FIX YOU

A CUP OF BLACK COFFEE.

I'LL BE BACK WITH YOUR COFFEE

IN A JIFFY.

OH, THAT'S TOO BAD.

ONE OR TWO LUMPS?

MAKE IT TWO.

TWO? O.K. 1, 2.

OOH! HA HA HA!

OH, MY!

HERE'S YOUR COFFEE. ONE OR TWO LUMPS?

AAH!

THAT'S HOW MANY!

OH, HE FLIPPED HIS LID.

[DOOR SLAMS]

GREAT HORNY TOADS! WAIT, EMMIE!

WAIT!

I'M SORRY. OPEN UP, EMMIE.

DON'T YOU COME NEAR ME.

AW, COME ON, EMMIE.

[GUNSHOT]

[WHISTLE]

EMMIE!

OOH! YOU'RE CUTE. LET'S ELOPE.

O.K. YOU GET TO THE WINDOW.

I'LL GET A LADDER.

I WANT TO TAKE A FEW THINGS ALONG.

CATCH.

THAT DAME'S TAKING EVERYTHING

BUT THE KITCHEN SINK.

DON'T FORGET THE MONEY, EMMIE.

[BARKING]

[DEVILISH LAUGHTER]

HA HA HA!

HA HA HA!

WELL, HELLO THERE.

WHERE AM I?

OH, IT'S POWERFUL HOT IN HERE.

IS THIS DALLAS?

NO...

BUT YOU'RE CLOSE.

AND WHAT IS YOUR NAME,

LITTLE MAN?

IT'S YOSEMITE SAM.

YOSEMITE SAM. NOW, LET'S SEE.

YOSEMITE SAM... YOSEMIT--AH!

HERE YOU ARE. OH, MY.

MY GOODNESS.

YOU HAVE BEEN A BAD BOY, HAVEN'T YOU?

THE--THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT.

I MEAN, THAT RABBIT MADE ME DO IT.

KNOCK IT OFF, SAM.

I CAN'T STAND TO SEE A GROWN MAN CRY.

I'LL STOP CRYING IF YOU SEND ME BACK.

HMM...

I'LL SEND YOU BACK ON ONE CONDITION--

YOU'VE GOT TO BRING SOMEBODY BACK

TO REPLACE YOU.

OH, I WILL! I WILL!

I'VE ALREADY GOT THE VERY VARMINT IN MIND.

I'LL SEND YOU BACK

AS A ROMAN CAPTAIN OF THE GUARDS.

I'LL TAKE IT. I'LL TAKE IT.

THEN IT'S A DEAL?

SHAKE.

OW! OOH! OW! OW! OH! OW!

OOH! OW! OW! THAT'S HOT!

HA HA HA!

WHEN YOU'RE HOT, YOU'RE HOT.

O.K., BACK YOU GO.

BY GUM, HE DID IT. I'M BACK IN ROME.

[FANFARE]

FALL IN!

FORWARD MARCH!

HUT, 2, 3, 4.

HUT, 2, 3, 4.

HUT, 2, 3, 4.

HUT, 2, 3, 4.

HUT, 2, 3, 4.

EH.

HUT, 2, 3, 4.

WHAT'S THAT?

A PARADE!

OH, BOY, I LOVE PARADES!

HMM...

GET THAT RABBIT!

CHARGE!

OOPS.

GIDDUP! GIDDUP! GIDDUP, MULE! HYAH!

HYAH, HYAH, MULE!

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, MULE!

WHOA, MULE!

WHOA!

NOW WHERE DID THAT SKUNK OF A RABBIT GO?

[ROAR]

WHY, YOU MANGY, FANG-TOOTHED CRITTER,

TAKE THAT!

MAYBE THAT WILL LEARN YOU

TO KEEP YOUR BIG MOUTH SHUT.

THAT FUR-BEARING VARMINT'S

AROUND HERE SOMEWHERES.

[ROAR]

HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU

TO...SHUT...UP?

[ROAR]

WAIT TILL I LAY MY HANDS

ON THAT VARMINT.

I'LL--

[CRASHING]

[SNORING]

[SNORING]

[TICKING]

[ALARM RINGING]

[ROARING]

HOW NOW, BROWN COW?

NO LONG-EARED GALOOT

CAN OUTFOX THE CAPTAIN OF THE GUARDS.

O.K., RABBIT,

NOW LET'S SEE WHO'S THE SMARTEST.

OH, IT LOOKS LIKE YOU OUTSMARTED ME.

OH, WOE IS ME.

AH, SHUT UP.

HERE, LIONS.

[TOOLS CRASH]

[SAWING]

I HATES RABBITS.

I'D BETTER GET OUT OF HERE

WHILE THE GETTING'S GOOD.

[CROWD CHEERING]

[SCREECH]

[LIONS GROWLING]

YOU BACK ALREADY?

WHERE'S YOUR REPLACEMENT?

YOU'VE GOT TO GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE.

I'LL GET A REPLACEMENT-- HONEST.

SEE THAT YOU DO.

I'LL GET THE CRITTER THIS TIME.

I'LL SEND HIM TO HELL.

OH, OH, OH, PARDON MY LANGUAGE.

HERE YOU GO.

WHAT AM I DOING ON THIS HUMPBACKED MULE?

GREAT HORNY TOADS!

I'D RECOGNIZE THEM FLAT FEET ANYWHERE.

YAH, MULE! YAH! YAH! YAH!

WHOA, CAMEL. WHOA. WHOA! WHOA, CAMEL!

WHOA!

OH, COME ON, WHOA!

WHEN I SAY WHOA, I MEAN WHOA!

� SINGING IN THE BATHTUB �

[GLUB GLUB GLUB GLUB]

NOW, I HOPE THAT WILL LEARN YOU,

YOU HUMPBACKED MULIE.

EH, WHAT'S UP, DOC?

YOU WITH THE SIDE SHOW AROUND HERE?

I'M NO DOC,

YOU FLEA-BITTEN VARMINT.

I'M RIFF-RAFF SAM,

THE RIFFIEST RIFF THAT EVER RIFFED A RAFF.

YOUR SLIP IS SHOWING.

OOH, WHY, YOU...

[GUNSHOTS]

WHOA!

FOLLOW THAT RABBIT! GIDDY-UP!

COME ON, CAMEL. GIDDY-UP!

GIDDY-UP! YAH! YAH! YAH!

CAMEL, GIDDY-UP!

WHEN I SAY GIDDY-UP,

I MEAN GIDDY-UP!

WHOA!

WHOA, CAMEL. WHOA.

WHOA! WHOA!

WHOA, CAMEL.

A CAR!

BOY, WHAT A BREAK.

[ENGINE SPUTTERS]

WHAT A SPOT TO PICK FOR A MIRAGIE.

[YOSEMITE SAM] WHOA, CAMEL!

WHOA! WHOA!

[CRASH]

WHEN I SAY WHOA,

I MEAN WHOA!

[YOSEMITE SAM] OPEN THE DOOR!

OPEN IT! OPEN IT!

I COULD HAVE SWORE

I HEARD SOMEBODY KNOCKING.

OH, WELL.

YOO-HOO! MR. ARAB!

UH-OH.

HYAH, MULE! HYAH, HYAH, HYAH, MULE!

HYAH!

[NNNrrr]

I WONDER IF HE'S STUBBORN ENOUGH TO OPEN ALL THOSE DOORS.

[EXPLOSION]

YOU JUST HAD TO OPEN EVERY DOOR, DIDN'T YOU?

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK!

I'LL GET THAT BUCKTOOTHED,

FLOPPY-EARED, SLIMY VARMINT,

OR MY NAME AIN'T YOSEMITE SAM.

THAT ELEVATOR ONLY GOES ONE WAY--DOWN.

OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW!

MAYBE I'D BETTER SEND YOU BACK MY WAY.

[MAN PLAYING RAGTIME MUSIC]

[GULP]

ANY ONE OF YOU LILY-LIVERED, BOWLEGGED VARMINTS

CARE TO SLAP LEATHER WITH ME?

IN CASE ANY OF YOU GET ANY IDEAS,

YOU'D BETTER KNOW WHO YOU'RE DEALING WITH.

I'M THE HOOTINGEST, TOOTINGEST, SHOOTINGEST

BOBTAIL WILDCAT IN THE WEST.

I'M THE FASTEST GUN

NORTH, SOUTH, EAST, AND WEST OF THE PECOS.

I'M THE--

[BUGS] EH...SHUT UP!

DID I HEAR SOMEONE SAY "SHUT UP"?

YUP.

STRANGER, YOU JUST YUPPED YOURSELF

INTO A HOLE IN THE HEAD.

YOU'VE BEEN EATING ONIONS.

AND YOU'RE GOING TO BE EATING LEAD!

I'M A-WARNIN' YOU, STRANGER!

IT'S FAIR TO WARN YOU

I SWING A FAIR SHOOTING IRON MYSELF.

YOU SEE THAT CHURCH BELL?

I'LL CAROM A SHOT OFF FROM IT,

THEN OFF THAT WATER TOWER,

THROUGH THE WINDOW,

OFF THE BOTTLE ON THIS BAR,

THEN PART YOUR HAIR RIGHT DOWN THE MIDDLE.

HA! YOU MISSED.

WAIT.

YOU CALL THAT SHOOTING?

I'LL SHOW YOU SOME REAL SHOOTING.

[GUNSHOTS]

NOW, BEAT THAT, VARMINT!

GEE, THAT'S TOUGH, BUT I'LL TRY.

[GUNSHOTS]

THAT DOES IT!

I'M A-BLASTIN' YOU!

I FIGURED YOU'D LIKE TO SETTLE THIS

IN A GENTLEMANLIKE MANNER.

GENTLEMAN?

THAT'S AGAINST MY PRINCIPLES, BUT IT'S A DEAL.

10 PACES, TURN, AND FIRE. ALL RIGHT?

ALL RIGHT.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 10!

[GUNSHOTS]

OOH... GET BACK, VARMINT!

[GUNSHOTS]

OOH...CUT IT OUT!

NO MORE GENTLEMAN STUFF.

FROM NOW ON, YOU FIGHTS MY WAY--

DIRTY!

[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS]

5:15? I'LL TAKE CARE OF YOU LATER.

I GOT TO CATCH A TRAIN...

AND ROB IT.

GET BACK THERE, RABBIT!

I'M A-ROBBIN' THAT TRAIN.

AND I'M SAVING THAT TRAIN.

IF YOU DON'T GET BACK,

I'LL BLAST YOU AT THE COUNT OF FIVE.

1, 2, 3, 4--

YOU STUPID HORSE.

GET A-GOIN'!

NOW, THIS TIME

I'M ONLY GOING TO COUNT TO THREE.

1, 2--

YOU DOUBLE-CROSSING RABBIT!

YOU CUT DOWN YOUR CHANCES.

I'M ONLY GOING TO COUNT TWO

AND THEN BLAST YOU.

1, 2--

YAAH!

[SPLASH]

HYAH! HYAH! HYAH! HYAH!

HYAH! HYAH! HYAH! HYAH!

HA! THIS WILL STOP HIM.

YOU BETTER STOP YOUR TRAIN, RABBIT!

YOU BETTER STOP YOUR TRAIN.

WELL, I'M NOT STOPPING MINE!

AND I'M NOT STOPPING MINE.

OH, YEAH?

WE'LL SEE WHO WILL CHICKEN OUT FIRST.

[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS]

[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING]

WELL, WELL, WELL!

LOOK WHO JUST DROPPED IN.

YOU MUST LIKE IT DOWN HERE.

NO! NO! I HATE IT!

OH, I AM TERRIBLY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU.

HOWEVER, I'M GIVING YOU JUST ONE MORE CHANCE.

OH, NO, YOU'RE NOT!

IF YOU WANT HIM,

YOU CAN GET HIM YOURSELF.

I'M STAYING!

HA HA HA HA!

[BUGS] EH...THE ROARING TWENTIES

BROUGHT ON THE COPS AND ROBBERS MOVIES.

AUDIENCES FLOCKED INTO THEATERS

TO SEE THEIR FAVORITES.

FBI AGENT ELLIOT NESS WAS BROUGHT IN

TO CLEAN UP THE CRIME.

HE BECAME A PUBLIC HERO.

FRIZ FRELENG DECIDED THAT WHATEVER NESS COULD DO,

I COULD DO BETTER.

FROM THIS POINT ON, YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN.

YOU WILL BE KNOWN TO THE DEPARTMENT

AS ELEGANT MESS.

THEN I MADE A NESS OF MYSELF.

TAXI!

LOOK, FELLOWS.

HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU?

I HAVEN'T GOT A COLD!

HA HA HA! THIS IS FUN, ROCKY!

[NARRATOR] IN THE WEE HOURS OF THE MORNING,

THE MOBSTER'S CAR WAS SEEN DRIVING

OUT ON THE PIER AT LAKE MICHIGAN.

THEY DROVE AWAY,

FIGURING THEY HAD DISPOSED OF MESS PERMANENTLY.

BUT THEY HAD NOT FIGURED ON HIS INGENUITY.

THE BOYS DECIDED TO THROW A PARTY

CELEBRATING ROCKY'S BIRTHDAY AND AGENT MESS' REMOVAL.

AMONG THOSE ATTENDING WERE JACK "LEGS" RHINESTONE,

BABY FACE HALF-NELSON,

PIZZA-PUSS LASAGNE,

PISTOL-NOSE PRINGLE,

AND TEETH MALLOY.

UH...ROCKY, WE WANT TO PRESENT TO YOU

A TOKEN OF OUR ESTEEM.

HIYA, SUCKERS!

WHO'S THE BROAD?

SHE'S SOME LOOKER, HEY, ROCKY?

UH...WHAT HAPPENED, ROCKY?

YOU BONEHEAD.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

YOU KNOW, YOU'RE A LUCKY BROAD.

I LIKE YOU.

STOP THE MUSIC.

STOP...STOP THE MUSIC.

STOP THE MUSIC!

[ROCKY] TURN ON THE LIGHT, MUGSY.

TURN IT OFF...QUICK!

YOU LUNKHEAD!

NOW, YOU GET OVER HERE, AND I'LL TURN ON THE LIGHT.

THEN LET HIM HAVE IT.

UH...O.K., ROCKY.

[RUNNING]

GEE, THIS IS FUN, ROCKY--

JUST LIKE IN THE AMUSEMENT PARK.

SHUT UP.

THE WAY I WORK THIS THING,

YOU'D THINK I KNEW SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

ON AUGUST 19th,

ROCKY WAS BROUGHT BEFORE JUDGE HUGO STRAIT

IN SUPERIOR COURT NUMBER FIVE, STATE OF ILLINOIS.

HAS THE DEFENDANT BEEN READ HIS RIGHTS?

I READ HIM HIS RIGHTS, YOUR HONOR.

DIDN'T I, CLANCY?

HE SURELY DID. DIDN'T HE, O'HARA?

HE DID. I HEARD IT. DIDN'T YOUSE, BUGS?

I READ HIM EVERY RIGHT THE RASCAL HAD COMING.

DIDN'T I, CLANCY?

THAT YOUSE DID. YOU CERTAINLY DID.

DIDN'T HE, O'HARA?

ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT, ALREADY.

DOES THE DEFENDANT HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY

BEFORE I PRONOUNCE SENTENCE?

[LAWYER] ONE MOMENT, YOUR HONOR!

I PRESENT WRITS OF HABEAS CORPUS,

CORPUS DELICTI, AND AD NAUSEAM,

CHARGING THAT MY CLIENT

IS DEPRIVED OF HIS RIGHTS

OF IPSO FACTO AND E PLURIBUS UNUM,

AND I INSIST ON HIS IMMEDIATE RELEASE

UNDER THE PRECEDENT

SET BY SECTION 8, PARAGRAPH 95

OF ROGERS VS. SEMPER FIDELIS.

CASE DISMISSED.

THANK YOU.

HEH HEH HEH.

IT WASN'T LONG

BEFORE ROCKY WAS UP TO HIS OLD TRICKS AGAIN.

[ALARM RINGING]

ALL RIGHT, MUGSY. STEP ON THE GAS.

COME BACK, YOU DIMWIT!

WAIT FOR ME, STUPID! STOP!

AGENT MESS LOST TRACK OF ROCKY'S NEW HIDEOUT.

THEN AN EVENT TOOK PLACE THAT AROUSED HIS INTEREST.

[HEN SQUAWKS]

EH...J-JUMPING JUNIPER! WHAT'S ALL THE RUMPUS?

[HENS SQUAWKING]

J-J-JUMPING JUNIPER! A GOLDEN EGG!

EH...24-KARAT SOLID GOLD!

I--I'M RICH! I--I'M RICH!

WHO'S RESPONSIBLE-- WHO'S RESPONSIBLE--

WHO DID THIS?

I KNOW WHO IT WAS. IT WAS ME!

BUT I'M NO FOOL.

I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO THE GOOSE

THAT LAID THE GOLDEN EGG.

WELL, C-COME ON NOW.

DON'T BE BASHFUL. WHO DID IT?

I KNOW WHO DID IT.

SHE DID IT.

[HENS SQUAWK]

O.K. SO I LAID AN EGG!

[ROCKY] "WORTH A FORTUNE TO OWNER."

HEY...THAT'S BETTER THAN THE NUMBERS RACKET.

HEY, BOYS, WE'RE GOING INTO POULTRY BUSINESS.

AGENT MESS FIGURED THIS WAS THE SORT OF INDUCEMENT

THAT WOULD LURE ROCKY OUT OF HIDING.

B-B-BUT--BUT I DON'T WANT TO SELL HIM.

YEAH, TH-TH-THEY TALKED ME INTO IT.

SAY, WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND HERE?

WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA?

ALL RIGHT, DUCK.

MAKE WITH THE GOLDEN EGG.

EGG, SCHMEGG. I CAN'T LAY NO EGG!

I SAID LAY AN EGG, DUCK.

OH, WELL, YOU SEE,

I CAN'T LAY NO EGG JUST ANYWHERE.

UM...I'M AN ARTIST.

I'VE GOT TO HAVE ATMOSPHERE--

UH, BEAUTIFUL SURROUNDINGS.

YEAH?

O.K., BOYS. MAKE WITH THE ATMOSPHERE.

NOW, THIS IS MORE LIKE IT.

CUT IT.

ALL RIGHT, DUCK.

ABOUT THAT EGG...

OH, YEAH! THE EGG! A LITTLE LATER ON.

I'M NOT IN THE MOOD RIGHT NOW.

NICK.

O.K., BOSS.

[EXPLOSION]

IT WAS GHASTLY!

THE DECK SEEMED TO LIFT UP UNDER MY FEET.

THEN I WAS IN THE WATER-- BLACK, OILY WATER!

I STRUGGLED--

O.K., DUCK.

NO MORE STALLING, SEE?

YOU'VE GOT JUST FIVE MINUTES

TO LAY THAT EGG, OR...

POW! POW! POW! POW! POW!

WELL, I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO,

BUT I GOT TO HAVE PRIVACY!

I NEVER LAY EGGS IN P-P-PUBLIC!

O.K., DUCK.

BUT REMEMBER...

FIVE MINUTES.

FOUR MINUTES.

[BANG]

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

YOUR LAUNDRY, SIR.

THREE MINUTES.

[CLOCK TICKING]

T-T-T-T-TWO MINUTES.

[CLOCK TICKING]

[SIREN]

NO EGG?

[GULP]

UH-UH.

[ROCKY] SO LONG, PAL.

[STAMMERING]

[GUNSHOT]

THAT JUST GOES TO SHOW YOU--

YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU CAN DO

TILL YOU'VE GOT A GUN AGAINST YOUR HEAD.

WELL, TOODLES. SEE YOU AROUND.

JUST A MINUTE, DUCK.

FILL THEM UP.

[BLOWS WHISTLE]

[PANTING]

[POLICEMAN] WE HAD YOU PEGGED ALL THE TIME.

[POLICEMAN] THOUGHT YOU COULD GET AWAY WITH IT, EH?

IS THERE ANYTHING WE CAN GET FOR YOU?

YES. GET ME A P-P-PROCTOLOGIST RIGHT AWAY.

THE HEADLINES PROCLAIMED

THAT A LOOPHOLE IN THE LAW HAD FREED ROCKY AGAIN.

[BUGS] EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT!

TWEETY BIRD MISSING! BIRD GETS THE BIRD!

READ ALL ABOUT IT! MILLION-DOLLAR BIRD GONE!

[NARRATOR] MONSIEUR SYLVESTER IS A SPECIAL AGENT.

HE'LL SEARCH THE UNDERWORLD'S BACK ALLEYS

FOR SIGNS OF THE MISSING TWEETY.

OH! OW! OOH! OW! OOH!

[NEWSCASTER] POLICE AUTHORITIES BELIEVE THAT TWEETY BIRD

IS BEING HELD FOR RANSOM

BY THE NOTORIOUS ROCKY AND HIS GANG.

AND IF YOU ARE LISTENING TO THIS BROADCAST, ROCKY,

REMEMBER...

[BUGS] DON'T HURT THE BIRD!

TURN IT OFF, NICK.

O.K., ROCKY. ANYTHING YOU SAY.

THOSE BAD OLD GANGSTERS!

NASTY OLD KIDNAPPERS!

I WONDER WHERE SOMEONE

WOULD GO ABOUT HIDING A KIDNAPPED BIRD.

[BIRD CHIRPING]

SAY, THAT MUST BE THE MISSING KIDNAPPEE!

AND WHERE THERE'S A KIDNAPPEE,

THE KIDNAPPERS MUST BE CLOSE BY.

OH, GOODY! GOODY!

LOOK AT THAT NICE PUDDY TAT TRYING TO SAVE ME.

HEY, BOSS!

I THOUGHT I TAW A PUDDY TAT.

YOU DID. YOU DID TEE A PUDDY TAT.

[CRASH]

I SLIPPED.

OH! OH, THERE YOU ARE, PUDDY.

HIDE ME! HIDE ME! QUICK!

HERE. HIDE HERE.

THEY'LL NEVER FIND YOU IN HERE.

OOH...THANK YOU.

NOT SO HARD!

[NICK] HEY, ROCKY! THE BIRD'S GONE.

[ROCKY] HE MUST BE OUT HERE SOMEPLACE.

O.K., PUSSYCAT.

WHERE IS IT? THE BIRD.

OH, YEAH? SEARCH THE PUSSYCAT, NICK.

[NICK] O.K., BOSS.

[SYLVESTER] OOH! AAH! HEY! STOP! NO! AAH! NO!

AH! AAH! EEE!

O.K., BIRD. THE JIG IS UP.

HEY, BOSS! THIS IS ALL I COULD FIND.

O.K., CAT. GET YOUR PACKAGE AND SCRAM.

[EXPLOSION]

YOU DIRTY GUYS!

UGH.

[SIREN]

[POLICEMAN] O.K., ROCKY.

OPEN UP NOW. WE GOT YOU.

CHEESE IT! THE COPS! TAKE THE BIRD. QUICK!

[BANGING ON DOOR]

[DOOR BREAKING]

ALL RIGHT, ROCKY. DOWN TO THE STATION HOUSE WITH YOU.

[MAN] HOLD IT!

WE ARE GATHERED HERE TODAY

TO PAY HOMAGE TO THIS MAGNIFICENT CAT...

WHO FOUGHT HIS NATURAL INSTINCTS

TO SAVE THIS LITTLE BIRD. YES.

AND NOW, GENTLEMEN, YOU MAY TAKE YOUR PICTURES

OF THE CAT KISSING THE LITTLE BIRD.

COME ON, CAT. KISS THE LITTLE BIRDIE.

COME ON, PUDDY TAT. KISS THE LITTLE BIRDIE.

OH, HE'S A BAD PUDDY TAT.

[NARRATOR] ON OCTOBER 28th, AGENT MESS

SLAPPED THE HANDCUFFS ON ROCKY AND MUGSY

AND BROUGHT THEM TO JUSTICE.

[DOOR CREAKS]

THEY WERE SENTENCED TO 20 YEARS AT HARD LABOR,

WHICH WAS A LITTLE TOUGH ON AGENT MESS,

WHO WAS NEVER ABLE TO FIND THE KEYS TO HIS HANDCUFFS.

[BUGS] AH, THIS IS HOLLYWOOD, CITY OF WINNERS--

WINNERS OF OSCARS, EMMYS, AND GRAMMYS.

FRIZ FRELENG WON FIVE ACADEMY AWARDS

AND TWO EMMYS.

ME? I GOT A CARROT.

WHEN I COMPLAINED TO FRIZ, HE SAID,

"DON'T BOTHER ME. I'M CREATING."

HE CREATED THE OSWALD AWARDS JUST FOR US CARTOON ACTORS.

TONIGHT, YOU'RE GOING TO WITNESS THIS EXCITING EVENT.

HELLO, GREETINGS, AND HI.

TONIGHT I'M GOING TO INTERVIEW

SOME OF THESE CARTOONY CELEBRITIES--

THAT IS, IF I CAN FIND ONE.

OH! HERE'S ONE NOW, EVEN AS I SPEAK.

IT'S THAT LITTLE STINKER, PEPE LE PEW,

THE GREATEST LOVER TO EVER APPEAR ON THE SILVER SCREEN.

AND OFF THE SCREEN, TOO, N'EST-CE PAS?

SAY SOMETHING TO YOUR FANS, MR. PEPE LE--

PEW!

GEE.

HA HA! BOY.

I MUST SAY, MEETING YOU

HAS BEEN A BREATHTAKING EXPERIENCE.

[APPLAUSE]

WELL, LOOK WHO'S HERE.

IT'S PARKER PIG.

THE NAME'S PORKY PIG.

WHO'S YOUR FRIEND?

THR--THR--TWO LITTLE PIGS PLUS ONE.

SHOW-BIZ FOLKS, HUH?

NO. THEY'RE BUILD--BUILD-- THEY'RE CONTRACTORS.

I BUILT MY HOUSE OF STRAW.

I BUILT MY HOUSE OF STICKS.

I BUILT MY HOUSE OF BRICKS.

I MUST SAY, IT LOOKS LIKE

YOU'RE ALL LIVING HIGH ON THE HOG.

HA HA HA!

A LITTLE PIG JOKE THERE. HA HA!

DON'T I KNOW YOU?

NOW, DON'T TELL ME. LET ME SEE.

I'LL GET IT.

UH, IT'S BIG BAD... BIG BAD...

WOLF.

NO, NO, NO. I DON'T BELIEVE IT WAS WOLF.

I HAVEN'T THOUGHT OF IT YET.

I'M THE BIG BAD WOLF,

AND I'M IN THE DEMOLITION BUSINESS.

I HUFF, AND I PUFF, AND I BLOW THEIR HOUSES DOWN.

HMM. SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD BUSINESS TO BE IN.

NO OVERHEAD.

NOW THERE'S SOME FANCY FEATHERS FOR YOU.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

BAWK! BAWK! BAWK! BAWK! BAWK!

WHOA, HORSE. WHOA!

WELL, IF IT AIN'T THAT FIST-THROWIN',

BRONCO-BUSTIN' WILD BILL HICKOK.

I CAME HERE TO WIN ONE OF THEM OSWALDS.

I'LL TELL YOU, TEX,

YOU GOT A 50-50 CHANCE.

EITHER YOU WIN OR YOU LOSE.

MAKES SENSE, DON'T IT?

WELL, JUST IN CASE, I BROUGHT ALONG

A LITTLE WINNER'S INSURANCE.

[APPLAUSE]

HERE COMES THAT FAMOUS STOOL PIGEON,

HENERY HAWK.

IT'S TWEETY PIE.

HOWDY, MR. PIE.

OOH, I THOUGHT I TAW A PUDDY TAT.

"I THOUGHT I SAW A PUDDY TAT."

ISN'T IT TIME YOU SAW SOMETHING ELSE?

STUPID BIRD.

[TIRES SQUEALING]

WELL, HERE COMES THAT LOONEY TUNEY DUCK.

IT'S ME--DAFFY DUCK, IN PERSON!

FAMOUS STAR OF STAGE, SCREEN, AND TELEVISION.

PLEASE HOLD DOWN YOUR APPLAUSE.

MY EARS CAN ONLY STAND SO MUCH.

[ONE PERSON CLAPPING, CRICKETS CHIRPING]

JUST FOR THAT, NO AUTOGRAPHS.

OH! OH! HEARTBEAT! HEARTBEAT!

AND NOW THE MOMENT WE'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR--

HERE'S THAT LOVABLE FELLER,

A FAVORITE AROUND THE WORLD,

MR. SHOW BUSINESS HIMSELF,

MR. BUGS DUMMY.

[APPLAUSE]

WHAT A SCENE STEALER--

STEPPING ON MY APPLAUSE,

TRYING TO UPSTAGE ME, AS IF THAT WERE HUMANLY POSSIBLE.

EH, WHAT'S UP, DUCK?

YOU'RE DESPICABLE!

I HATE YOU.

[APPLAUSE]

SAY THE SECRET WORD AND WIN AN OSWALD.

[APPLAUSE]

EH, GOOD EVENING, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

WE ARE GATHERED HERE TO AWARD THE OSWALD TO THAT ACTOR

WHO HAS GIVEN THE WORLD SO MUCH JOY.

WE KNOW WHO THAT'S GOING TO BE, DON'T WE, GRANNY?

YOU TELL ME. I'M TOO MODEST.

WE WILL SELECT THIS OUTSTANDING STAR

FROM ONE OF THE MANY QUALIFIED ARTISTS

TO RECEIVE THIS COVETED AWARD.

STOP TEASING THE AUDIENCE, YOU STUPID RABBIT!

READ MY NAME!

THE FIRST NOMINATION IS THE BIG BAD WOLF.

[APPLAUSE]

I WANT TO THANK YOU,

AND MY THREE SUPPORTING ACTORS WANT TO THANK YOU.

SAY THANKS TO THE AUDIENCE, PIGGIES.

THANKS. THANKS. THANKS.

THAT'S ENOUGH. NOW SIT DOWN.

THEY NOMINATE THAT WOLF FOR ACTING?

HA! HE COULDN'T CALL HIS DOG BELIEVABLY.

O.K., CHARLIE, ROLL IT.

[APPLAUSE]

� REMEMBER THE STORY OF THREE LITTLE PIGS �

� ONE PLAYED A PIPE, AND THE OTHER DANCED JIGS �

� THE THREE LITTLE PIGS ARE STILL AROUND �

� BUT THEY'RE PLAYING MUSIC WITH A MODERN SOUND �

[PLAYING MODERN JAZZ]

� THREE LITTLE PIGS WERE IN THE GROOVE �

� EVERYTHING WAS RUNNING SMOOTH �

� THE PIGS WERE DUE FOR A BIG SURPRISE �

� FOR THE WOLF APPEARED WITH RED-RIMMED EYES �

OOH, YOU'RE COOL.

OOH, YOU'RE COOL.

OOH, YOU'RE COOL, MAN, COOL.

� WELL, TO SHOW HE WAS FRIENDLY, HE SHOOK THEIR HAND �

� ANNOUNCED HE WAS JOINING UP WITH THE BAND �

� INSTEAD OF STARTING AN ARGUMENT �

� A-1 AND A-2 AND AWAY THEY WENT �

[PLAYING BADLY]

� THE THREE LITTLE PIGS WERE REALLY GASSED �

� THEY'D NEVER HEARD SUCH A CORNY BLAST �

WE'VE PLAYED IN THE WEST.

WE'VE PLAYED IN THE EAST.

WE'VE HEARD THE MOST.

BUT YOU'RE THE LEAST.

� WELL, THE BIG BAD WOLF WAS REALLY MAD �

� HE WANTED TO PLAY MUSIC �

� AND HE WANTED TO PLAY BAD �

THEY STOPPED ME BEFORE I COULD GO TO TOWN,

SO I'LL HUFF AND PUFF AND BLOW THEIR HOUSE DOWN.

� THE HOUSE OF STRAW WAS BLOWN AWAY �

� THE PIGS HAD TO FIND ANOTHER PLACE TO PLAY �

� THE DEW DROP INN, A HOUSE OF STICKS �

� THE THREE LITTLE PIGS WERE GIVING OUT LICKS �

� WELL, THE PIANO-PLAYING PIG WAS SWINGING LIKE A GATE �

� DOING LIBERACE ON AN 88 �

[PLAYING PIANO]

[IMITATING LIBERACE] I WISH MY BROTHER GEORGE WAS HERE.

� THREE LITTLE PIGS WERE HAVING A BALL �

� WHEN THE BIG BAD WOLF, HE ENTERED THE HALL �

� THE BIG BAD WOLF, HE SAT RIGHT DOWN �

COME ON, CATS. WE'RE GOING TO TOWN.

[PLAYING BADLY]

HEY, I'M OUT OF SIGHT.

� FROM THE CROWD CAME AN ANGRY SHOUT �

STOP THE MUSIC! THROW THE SQUARE OUT!

� THE BIG BAD WOLF WAS REALLY SORE �

IF THEY'RE GOING TO GET TOUGH, I'LL GIVE THEM MORE.

THEY DON'T KNOW TALENT IN THIS HERE TOWN.

I'LL HUFF AND PUFF AND BLOW THE PLACE DOWN.

� THE DEW DROP INN DID DROP DOWN �

� THREE LITTLE PIGS CRAWLED OUT OF THE RUBBLE �

THIS BIG BAD WOLF GIVES US NOTHING BUT TROUBLE.

SO WE WON'T BE BOTHERED BY HIS WINDY TRICKS...

THE NEXT PLACE WE PLAY MUST BE MADE OF BRICKS.

� STURDY PLACE, THIS HOUSE OF BRICKS �

� BUILT IN 1776 �

� HIGH-CLASS PLACE WITH A HIGH-CLASS CROWD �

� SIGN ON THE DOOR-- "NO WOLVES ALLOWED" �

� THE WOLF WAS SORE AND FIT TO BE TIED �

� HE WAS SWORN AND DETERMINED TO GET INSIDE �

� HE HUFFED AND PUFFED AT THE HOUSE OF BRICKS �

� BUT BRICKS ARE STRONGER THAN STRAW OR STICKS �

� HE HUFFED AND PUFFED AND BLEEPED AND BLOOPED �

� AND AT 10:00 WAS COMPLETELY POOPED �

� BUT ALL OF A SUDDEN CAME A RAY OF HOPE �

I COULD DISGUISE MYSELF. BOY, WHAT A DOPE.

HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, SISTER?

HE'S RUNNING THE WHOLE GAMUT OF EMOTIONS

FROM "A" TO "B."

IF YOU DON'T SHUT THAT YELLOW BEAK OF YOURS,

I'LL SHUT IT FOR YOU.

I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY IT.

THIS BEAK OF MINE IS GOING TO KEEP FLAPPING--

MAYBE THAT WILL SHUT YOU UP FOR A WHILE.

[PLAYING CHARLESTON]

I SUPPOSE YOU THINK THAT'S FUNNY.

[THREE PIGS] NOT US, BIG BAD.

WATCH IT, PIGS.

I'LL SHOW THOSE PIGS THAT I'M NOT STUCK.

IF I CAN'T BLOW IT DOWN, I'LL BLOW IT UP.

� WELL, THE BIG BAD WOLF WAS REALLY GONE �

� AND WITH HIM WENT HIS CORNY HORN �

� WENT OUT OF THIS WORLD WITHOUT A TRACE �

� DIDN'T GO TO HEAVEN, WAS THE OTHER PLACE �

[PLAYING BETTER]

THE BIG BAD WOLF, HE LEARNED THE RULE.

YOU GOT TO GET HOT TO PLAY REAL COOL.

[APPLAUSE]

EH, FOR THE NEXT NOMINATION,

WE HAVE TWO OF HOLLYWOOD'S MOST POPULAR STARS--

TWEETY PIE AND SYLVESTER.

[APPLAUSE]

THANKS A LOT.

TANK YOU. TANK YOU FOR THIS GREAT HONOR.

HERE'S A FEW SCENES OF TWEETY AND SYLVESTER

AT THEIR BEST.

[APPLAUSE]

[DOOR CREAKS]

[DOOR CLOSES]

I THOUGHT I TAW A PUDDY TAT.

I WOULDN'T DO THAT IF I WERE YOU.

IF I WERE YOU, I'D PUT HIM BACK.

IT CAN ONLY LEAD TO SELF-DESTRUCTION.

IT ONLY TAKES ONE BIRD TO START YOU.

AND BEFORE YOU KNOW IT,

IT'S TWO BIRDS, THEN THREE.

SUDDENLY, WITHOUT REALIZING IT,

YOU'RE A VICTIM.

THEN ONE DAY, THE END OF THE ROAD.

[GULP]

IF YOU REALLY WANT TO BEAT THIS,

LOOK US UP.

WE CAN HELP YOU.

OUR NEW MEMBER HAS COME TO US FOR HELP.

WOULD SOMEONE VOLUNTEER

TO TELL WHAT B.A. HAS DONE FOR HIM?

I WAS A THREE-BIRD-A-DAY PUSSY CAT

UNTIL B.A. HELPED ME.

[APPLAUSE]

BEING ON A BIRD KICK COST ME FIVE HOMES.

B.A. HELPED ME SOLVE MY PROBLEM.

[APPLAUSE]

FELLOW MEMBERS, FROM NOW ON, MY MOTTO IS,

"BIRDS IS STRICTLY FOR THE BIRDS."

[APPLAUSE]

[HUMMING TIP-TOE THRU' THE TULIPS]

GOOD MORNING, MY LITTLE FEATHERED FRIEND.

I GOT IT BEAT.

MY WILL POWER IS INDOMITAB-BLE.

SYLVESTER, YOU ARE WEALLY A HYPOCRITE.

LET'S SEE WHAT'S COOKING ON TV.

AFTER A-BASTING,

YOU'LL FIND THAT YOUR BIRD

WILL COME OUT A-GOLDEN BROWN.

EVERY SUCCULENT MORSEL

WILL SIMPLY MELT IN YOUR MOUTH.

[PANTING]

SEE HOW EASY THE WHITE MEAT SLICES, EH?

DOESN'T THAT LOOK--

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH ME?

I...I GOT TO GET BIRDS OFF MY MIND.

MAYBE I'LL TAKE UP A HOBBY.

[STOMACH GROWLING]

BADMINTON? NO, IT'S GOT A BIRDIE.

AH, GOLF! THERE'S BIRDIES IN GOLF.

FALCONRY?

NO, NO, THAT'S OUT.

BASEBALL! THAT'S IT.

WHAT ABOUT THE BALTIMORE ORIOLES?

YOU OUGHT TO BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF.

YEAH, YOU OUGHT TO BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF.

YOU BAD OLD PUDDY TAT.

I KNOW. I'LL PLAY THE RADIO.

MUSIC WILL GET MY MIND OFF OF IT.

THAT WAS BYE-BYE, BLACKBIRD.

NOW WE'LL PLAY

WHEN THE RED, RED ROBIN COMES BOB, BOB, BOBBIN' ALONG.

[TURNS OFF RADIO]

I GOT TO STOP MYSELF!

THERE. NOW I WON'T BE ABLE TO GET THE BIRD.

OH, MR. PUDDY TAT,

DON'T YOU WIKE ME ANYMORE?

I...I THINK...I THINK...

I THINK YOU'RE...

I THINK YOU'RE... DELICIOUS!

I'M SORRY I HAD TO DO THAT.

I WAS AFRAID YOU MIGHT BE WEAKENING.

[MUFFLED] YES. I DID WEAKEN.

THANKS A LOT.

AAH!

UH-OH. HERE WE GO AGAIN.

[PANTING]

ONE LITTLE BIRD. JUST ONE. JUST ONE!

NO ONE WILL KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.

NO ONE. JUST ONE.

THEN I'LL QUIT. I'LL QUIT AFTER ONE.

JUST ONE. HA HA! ONE LITTLE BIRD.

ONE! ONE!

[COUGH]

[CRYING]

I...I CAN'T STAND IT. I'M WEAK.

MY COMPLIMENTS

ON A VERY FINE PERFORMANCE, SYLVESTER.

SAY, YOU'RE PRETTY GOOD, TOO, CLARENCE.

I GOT TO HAVE A BIRDIE!

[CRYING]

I'M WEAK! I'M WEAK, BUT I DON'T CARE.

I CAN'T HELP IT.

AFTER ALL, I AM A PUSSY CAT.

OH, COME NOW.

THERE'S NO NEED FOR THIS DEMONSTRATION.

BIRDS AND CATS

CAN LIVE TOGETHER WITH BROTHERLY LOVE.

WATCH. COME HERE, LITTLE BIRD.

THERE, YOU SEE? I REALLY LOVE BIRDS.

[KISS]

[MANIACAL LAUGHTER]

STOP IT!

LET ME GO! I GOT TO HAVE IT!

ONE LITTLE BIRD, JUST ONE!

CONTROL YOURSELF!

LIKE I SAID BEFORE,

ONCE A BAD OLD PUDDY TAT, ALWAYS A BAD OLD PUDDY TAT.

[APPLAUSE]

I'LL TAKE POSSESSION OF THAT LITTLE BIRD.

YOU CAN'T BE TRUSTED.

AND THAT MAKES TWO OF YOU.

THAT'S THE STORY OF MY LIFE--

IN ONE CAT AND OUT THE OTHER.

OUR NEXT NOMINEE IS A STAR

WHOSE NAME IS SYNONYMOUS WITH SHOW BUSINESS...

IT'S ABOUT TIME!

WHOSE FAME HAS SPREAD ALL OVER THE WORLD.

HOLD YOUR APPLAUSE UNTIL HE ANNOUNCES MY NAME.

THEN YOU CAN CHEER YOUR HEADS OFF.

AND THE NOMINEE IS, EH...

OH! OH, GOODNESS ME. HOW ABOUT THAT?

THE NOMINEE IS... HEE HEE HEE!

BUGS BUNNY!

WHAT? BUGS BUNNY?

IT CAN'T BE. THIS WHOLE THING MUST BE FIXED.

IT'S A BIG RIPOFF.

AND HERE'S A FEW SCENES

FROM MY PICTURE HIGH DIVING HARE.

[APPLAUSE]

HURRY, HURRY, HURRY!

STEP RIGHT THIS WAY, FRIENDS, RIGHT THIS WAY.

YES, SIR, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

THE GREATEST AGGREGATION OF TALENT EVER TO BE PRESENTED

ON ANY VAUDEVILLE STAGE--

BUTTERFINGERS AND CLUMSY, THE WORLD'S FOREMOST JUGGLERS,

FEARLESS FREEP AND HIS SENSATIONAL HIGH-DIVING ACT.

FEARLESS FREEP? THAT'S MY BOY!

GIVE ME A TICKET!

GIVE ME A WHOLE MESS OF THEM.

I'M A-SPLURGIN'.

BRING ON FEARLESS FREEP!

ON WITH THE SHOW!

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

TELEGRAM.

[GUNSHOTS]

COME ON, QUIT STALLING!

[GUNSHOTS]

BRING ON FREEP!

QUIET! QUIET, PLEASE.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, DUE TO AN UNFORTUNATE DELAY,

FEARLESS FREEP WILL BE UNABLE

TO PERFORM HIS HIGH-DIVING ACT TODAY.

WHAT?

I PAID MY FOUR BITS

TO SEE THE HIGH-DIVING ACT,

AND I'M A-GONNA SEE THE HIGH-DIVING ACT.

WELL, YOU TALKED ME INTO IT.

NO STALLING. NOW KEEP A-MOVIN'.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT! QUIT SHOVING!

NOW, YOU VARMINT. DIVE!

O.K., BUT YOU GOT TO CLOSE YOUR EYES

WHILE I PUT ON MY BATHING SUIT.

OH, ALL RIGHT, BUT MAKE IT SNAPPY.

READY!

[WHISTLING]

SPLASH!

[GURGLING]

BY GAR, THE CRITTER WENT AND DONE IT.

AND NOW, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, FOR OUR NEXT ATTRACTION--

I SAID I AIM TO SEE YOU DIVE,

AND I'M A-GOIN' TO.

WELL, HERE I GO AGAIN.

ONE FOR THE MONEY, TWO FOR THE SHOW,

THREE TO MAKE READY, AND FOUR TO GO.

BON VOYAGE.

UH-OH. FORGOT TO FILL THE TANK WITH WATER.

IF YOU ASK ME,

THAT RABBIT IS MAKING A FOOL OUT OF THAT--

I'M NOT ASKING YOU. I'M TELLING YOU.

SHUT UP, DUCK!

I'M SHUTTING IT.

[ZIP]

NOW, YOU DOG-BLASTED, ORNERY,

NO-ACCOUNT, LONG-EARED VARMINT--

HEY! JUST A MINUTE, YOU. THEM'S FIGHTIN' WORDS.

YEAH, THEM'S FIGHTIN' WORDS.

I DAST YOU TO STEP ACROSS THIS LINE.

I'M A-STEPPIN'.

I HATE YOU.

[SPLASH]

[SPLASH]

[SPLASH]

[SAWING]

NOW, YOU SMARTY-PANTS,

LET'S SEE YOU GET OUT OF THIS ONE.

HA HA HA!

THIS TIME, YOU'RE A-DIVIN'.

I KNOW THIS DEFIES THE LAW OF GRAVITY,

BUT, YOU SEE, I NEVER STUDIED LAW.

[APPLAUSE]

AND NOW THAT MOMENT WE HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR.

THE ENVELOPE, PLEASE.

OH, MY GOODNESS. I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

OH, THIS IS TOO MUCH.

GIVE ME THAT.

I'M NOT TOO HUMBLE TO READ MY OWN NAME.

THE WINNER OF THIS YEAR'S OSWALD AWARD IS...

BUGS BUNNY?

[APPLAUSE]

STOP THE MUSIC! HOLD YOUR APPLAUSE.

IT'S BEEN FIXED. HE GAVE HIMSELF THE AWARD.

[DAFFY] IT'S A PHONY!

I--I DON'T DESERVE THIS, REALLY.

IT'S JUST TOO MUCH. I'M--

YOU ARE DESPICABLE.

I CHALLENGE YOUR SO-CALLED TALENTS.

I CAN DO ANYTHING BETTER THAN YOU.

YES, I CAN! YES, I CAN! YES, I CAN!

LET THE AUDIENCE DECIDE.

I DARE YOU.

O.K., DAFFY, FAIR ENOUGH.

TRY NOT TO TRIP ME WITH THOSE BIG FEET.

I'LL TRY, DAFFY.

WE'RE ON!

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[TEA FOR TWO PLAYING]

[APPLAUSE]

BOY, LISTEN TO THAT! THEY LOVED ME!

[APPLAUSE STOPS]

[APPLAUSE]

I'M SICK OF PEOPLE TAKING BOWS FOR MY TALENT.

NOW DO YOUR OWN DANCE. I CHALLENGE YOU.

DANCE, IF YOU'RE NOT A COWARD.

[APPLAUSE]

[APPLAUSE]

HAR-DE-HAR-HAR.

IF THEY LIKE THAT MESS,

THEY'RE STARVING FOR SOME REAL HOOFING.

I'LL KILL 'EM.

MUSIC, MAESTRO, PLEASE. E-FLAT, FROM THE TOP.

[JEEPERS CREEPERS PLAYING]

[PANTING]

[CRICKETS CHIRPING, FROGS CROAKING]

INGRATES!

OBVIOUSLY, THIS AUDIENCE HAS NO CLASS.

I'VE GOT A PIGEON ACT THAT WILL BOWL THEM OVER.

O.K., DAFFY.

I'M GIVING YOU ALL THE ROPE YOU NEED.

NOW IT'S MY TURN TO DO AN ACT.

GO AHEAD.

I'D LOVE TO SEE THE AUDIENCE BOO YOU OFF THE STAGE.

...AFTER WHICH I PLACE A VOLUNTEER IN THIS BOX

AND PROCEED TO SAW HIM IN HALF.

WHAT? DON'T TELL ME YOU'VE GOT THE GALL

TO PULL THAT OLD "SAWING IN HALF" ROUTINE.

YES, IF I GET A VOLUNTEER.

VOLUNTEER? HMM.

I'LL BE YOUR VOLUNTEER.

THIS WHOLE THING IS A FAKE.

THE WAY IT'S DONE IS VERY SIMPLE.

FAKE FEET OUT ONE END,

AND I'M ALL SCRUNCHED UP IN THIS END.

THE OLDEST TRICK IN THE BOOK.

HIS TURBAN IS A FAKE, TOO.

IT'S A HOTEL TOWEL.

[APPLAUSE]

DON'T APPLAUD HIM! LOOK. I'M NOT CUT IN HALF.

STOP APPLAUDING!

IT'S A FAKE!

SHEESH. IT'S A GOOD THING I GOT BLUE CROSS.

AND AFTER INTERMISSION,

I'LL PLAY THE XYLOPHONE.

XYLOPHONE? HMM.

I CAN GET RID OF THE RABBIT,

AND IT WILL LOOK LIKE AN ACCIDENT.

[HAMMERING]

WHEN HE STRIKES THIS NOTE,

INSTEAD OF A XYLOPHONE, HE'LL BE PLAYING A HARP.

HEH HEH HEH!

NOW, WITH YOUR KIND INDULGENCE,

I'LL PLAY THOSE ENDEARING YOUNG CHARMS.

[HITTING WRONG NOTE]

THAT'S WRONG, YOU DUMB BUNNY!

TRY IT AGAIN!

[HITTING WRONG NOTE]

OOH! NO, NO!

YOU STUPID RABBIT!

LIKE THIS!

LOOK AT THE EGOMANIAC OUT THERE

MAKING A FOOL OF HIMSELF.

[APPLAUSE]

I HATE YOU!

NOW YOU'VE FORCED ME TO USE THE ACT

I'VE HELD BACK FOR A SPECIAL OCCASION.

JUST TRY AND TOP THIS ONE.

I NOW PRESENT AN ACT THAT NO OTHER PERFORMER

HAS EVER DARED TO EXECUTE.

IN FAIRNESS, I MUST WARN THOSE WITH WEAK CONSTITUTIONS

TO LEAVE THE THEATER FOR THIS PERFORMANCE.

LIGHTS. THANK YOU.

SOME APPROPRIATE MUSIC, MAESTRO.

[DRUM ROLL]

THANK YOU.

FIRST, SOME NITROGLYCERIN.

A GOODLY AMOUNT OF GUNPOWDER.

SOME URANIUM 238.

SHAKE WELL.

STRIKE AN ORDINARY MATCH.

GIRLS, YOU'D BETTER HOLD ON TO YOUR BOYFRIENDS.

SWALLOW THE MATCH. SO.

[APPLAUSE]

THAT'S TERRIFIC, DAFFY.

THEY LOVED IT. THEY WANT MORE.

HERE, DAFFY.

YOU DESERVE THIS MORE THAN I DO.

IT JUST GOES TO SHOW YOU--

YOU GOT TO KILL YOURSELF TO WIN AN OSWALD

IN THIS TOWN.

[APPLAUSE]

[CRICKETS CHIRPING]

[APPLAUSE]

WELL, THAT'S ALL, FOLKS.

HEY, I'M S-SUPPOSED TO S-S-S--

THAT'S MY LINE.

WELL, THEN, SAY IT.

D-D-D-D-D--THAT'S--

DIRTY GUYS!

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.

CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE, INC.