All language subtitles for Taxi.S01E07.DVDRip.x264

( theme music playing )

...like I do
in my living room.

Oh.

( growls )

Hey, Louie.

What table you sitting at?

This one.

Thanks for the tip.

John, you got change
for a dollar?

Sure.

You gave me
a dollar ten.

Oh, I'm sorry.
Too late.

Oh, well.

BOBBY:
Oh, no.
Louie's going to play

his favorite song.

Oh, no. Every time
he's in a bar.

Yeah.
"The Green Berets."

Yeah.

¶ Feelings

¶ Whoa, whoa, whoa, feelings

Why is he playing
that song?

It's different.

It's not any better,
but it's different.

¶ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh...

He's giving me
a feeling.

¶ Feelings

BOTH:
¶ Whoa, whoa, whoa, feelings

¶ Whoa, whoa, whoa...

¶ Whoa, whoa, whoa...

Hi.

How you doing?

Terrific. Hey,
you look great.

Thanks.

How's it going, Alex?

Oh, fine, just fine.

Okay.
I'll have a white wine.

Beer.

Beer.
And a bourbon and water.

Beer, please.

Okay.

( speaking native language )

...with a twist.

Gee, I'm sorry.

We're out of that.

Thank you very much.

Well, there's a man
who knows what he likes.

Yeah.

¶ Feelings

¶ Whoa, whoa, whoa...

You know, it would be nice
if one of you guys

went over there and got him
out of his misery.

You okay, Alex?

Excuse me.
I'll go with you.

No, I'm going to talk
to Beverly.

JOHN:
Good luck.
Thanks.

Hey, uh, Beverly...
listen, I got some bad news.

I went to the doctor.

He told me
I only had 40 years to live.

I don't know what to do
with all that time,

so would you go out with me
Saturday night?

Thanks, anyway,
but I can't.

It's because
I was kidding around, huh?

I have this terrible habit--
I like to make girls laugh.

Kitchy-kitchy...
( screams )

There, I did it again.

No, look, I really want
to take you out.

What night are you free?

I'm sorry, Alex. I can't.

Why not?
Because I make it a rule

not to go out
with cab drivers.

Well, that's a stupid rule.

Well, it's very important to me

to keep my personal life
private, you know?

And this is a cabbie's hangout.

I mean, if I was a secretary
on Wall Street,

I wouldn't go out
with the stockbrokers.

If I was in a factory,

I wouldn't go out
with factory workers.

If I was a nurse
in a hospital,

I wouldn't go out
with the sick people.

No. You mean you wouldn't
go out with doctors.

Hey, I have my rules,
but I'm not crazy.

¶ Feelings

¶ Whoa, whoa, whoa,
feelings ¶

¶ Whoa, whoa, whoa,
fee... ¶

Hey, who killed
the music?

You did.

Alex, I need...
I need that song.

I'm real down.

I need that song
real bad.

Louie, I'll give
you a buck,

you don't play that song again.

Okay.

Aw, you're better off
without her.

Uh-uh. Try again.

Can I sit down?

No.

It's been
a rough night.

All right, all right.

As long as

you're not obnoxious.

So what are you
losers up to?

That was obnoxious?

Yeah.
Yeah.

Okay, okay.

I apologize.

Whoo!
Whoo!

You bet, whoo.

That's the first time
I ever apologized.

But I did it
because there's something

I really have to say.

What's wrong?

I got a letter

inviting me
to my 20th high school reunion

next Saturday...
and I'm not going.

So what? I don't go
to my high school reunions.

Who wants to sit around

and watch a bunch of guys
sucking in their stomachs?

What good would that do?

No, you don't
understand.

I'd really like to go.

You see, everything was really
tough for me in high school.

Everybody was crummy
to me all the time.

The only thing
that kept me going

was these two promises
I made to myself.

One was I would get
Sheila Martin to like me.

And, two, that I'd get even
with everybody else.

Gee, you really had it
that tough in high school?

Oh, look, it's nothing personal,
but I put in 12 hours today...

Everybody used to pick on me.

I don't mean just
as I passed them in the halls.

I mean, they used to line up
and take turns.

I used to just
stand there
and wait

for the last guy
to take his shot.

Yeah, we get the idea, Louie.

Yeah, and that's only
the top of the iceberg.

I got stories
that will tear your hearts out.

Like what?

Did I offend you
in any way, Elaine?

No. I just want
to hear what happened.

He's never opened up
to us like this before.

And the world has
never come to an end,

but that doesn't mean
we root for it to happen.

Another beer, please.

Make it two.

There was this guy,
Stanley Tarsus.

He was a really nasty,
rotten person.

You know the type?

ALL:
Yeah.

He used to play this one trick
on me all the time

just to show that I would fall
for it every time he did it.

What did he do?

Alex, you got something

on your shirt.

That!

Rotten person--
Stanley Tarsus.

That ain't such
a bad story.

There was this guy in my
high school, Lou Vanelli--

he used to tear
your chest hair out

with his bare hands.

Gee, I miss those days.

Okay, get ready
to sob your spleens out.

I went to my high school
senior prom alone.

The theme was "April love."

April love?

Is for the very young.

The only reason

I went to the prom

was because, even though
she was with another guy,

I just wanted to see what Sheila
looked like on prom night.

That's how hooked I was on her.

So I walk in,

I say hello to a few people--

"Hello, hello, hello."

I tell them my date was delayed.

She couldn't make it

until after her Broadway show's
curtain came down.

I had to make up
stories like that.

ELAINE:
Aw, Louie.

If you're trying to make me
feel better

how about being a little bolder?

Stop it.

So what happened then?

I kept on looking
for Sheila

and this guy
comes up to me--

Stanley Tarsus,
you remember him?

Yeah. The nose guy.

Mm-hmm.
Yeah.

He comes up to me,
and he says,

"Hey, Louie, how'd you like
to sit at a table

with us and Sheila?"

I smiled at him.
I didn't want nothing

but to just sit
where I could look at her.

So I walked through
this crowded gymnasium

and I see Sheila.

She looked so beautiful.

She looked
just like a beautician.

Wow!

And I could see
she was smiling big.

And everybody said, "Hey, Louie,

come on over
and sit next to Sheila."

And I figured,
"Boy, I lucked out."

And I moved over
to the other side,

and I saw they had
a high chair there.

ALL:
Aw.

Well, what did
you do, Louie?

Man, what did you do?

I says to them,
"Okay, you did it.

"You got me good.

Enjoy yourselves."

They sure took my advice.

They were still
laughing when I left.

And I went home,
and I swore to myself then

that one day I'd come
back a big shot--

with all the money there was--

and I'd walk into one
of their high school reunions

and make them all eat crackers,

if you know what I mean.

And now,
20 years later,

I'm not sure
being a taxi dispatcher

is enough to do the job.

Well, why don't you
just go in there and lie?

Everybody lies.

It's too big a job.

It's got to be done great.

I'm not a good enough actor.

You know, I can't believe
you just said that, Louie.

It's true.

Yeah, I know, but,
like, incredible.

It's what I was just thinking.

What?

Okay, now,

the important thing
is that they're convinced

that you turned out great,
right?

Yeah.

It's basically an acting job.

Ohh, I know what
you're thinking.

That would be great!

What would be great?
I want great.

Yeah?
You're kidding.

I mean, do you
really think so?

Don't tease.

All right.

Let me explain
one thing to
start out with.

Now, I've been
studying you for
a long time, Louie.

And I know that,
if I ever got
any acting breaks,

that I'd want to use,
like, a lot of things

that you have
in certain roles.

I mean, you're
an extraordinary
character, Louie.

Yeah, so?

Sometimes, when
you're yelling at me,

I can't concentrate
on what you're saying

'cause what I'm concentrating
on are your character traits--

you know,
the way your eyes pop out,

and the way that vein
stands out in your neck,

and the spit that gets
in the corner of your mouth.

Yeah.

It's everything, you know?

The way you walk,
the way you use your voice.

I want the part, Louie.

I want to go
into that reunion

and convince them
that I'm Louie De Palma.

Now, maybe I can't get
any acting jobs

but, if I can pull this off,

I know I'm going
in the right direction.

Let me do it, Louie.
I want to do it.

Let me be Louie De Palma

at the reunion.

It's impossible.

It's not.

It's 20 years later, right?

Everybody's changed.

I'll make my hair dark.

I grew in college.

I'm too complex a person.

You can't be me.

( imitating Louie: )
You can't be me.

It won't work.

It won't work.

It's crazy.
It's crazy.

You can't talk
like me.
You can't talk
like me.

Maybe it would work.
Maybe it
would work.

( "A Summer Place" playing )

My name's Louie De Palma.

May I have my tag, please?

Thanks.

Louie?

Louie De Palma?

Yeah.

George. Georgie Wilson.

George!

Gee, you've
changed so much.

You look taller.

Well, yeah.

It's a weird thing.

I shot up
in college.

They wrote it up
in all the
medical journals.

Well, it's great
to see you again.

Who we kidding?

It wasn't so hot
the first time.

Hey, George,
seen Sheila?

Sure. She's
right over there.

Thanks.

Hi.

Oh, hi.

Pretty tame reunion, huh?

I got a hunch it's going
to liven up some.

Louie?

Uh, Louie De Palma?

Louie?!

I'd stop you,

but I like the sound
of your voice.

But... I mean...

But what? You're surprised

I'm too big
for the high chair?

What do you mean?

You don't remember?

Senior prom, April love.

I come over.

High chair.

Huh, huh, huh?

Oh, yeah, I did
do that, didn't I?

Did you...?

it was just
the group, Louie.

I mean, a bunch
of us got high

even before we got
to the prom.

I'm so embarrassed.

I don't know how
I'm going to
make it up to you.

Well, uh, that's one
of the purposes of this evening.

To figure it out.

May I have this dance?

Wonder how I'm doing
at the reunion.

I'm sure you're
doing great, Louie.

It was swell of Bobby
to go for me.

I wonder if he met Sheila yet.

Yeah, he might be with her
right now.

Must be something really lousy
with my life

if I couldn't go there
and admit I was a dispatcher.

Oh, everyone's a little unhappy,

wishing they
were doing
something else.

( speaking
native language )

Hey, you're wearing
your jacket tonight.

Yeah. Hard to tell
I'm a cab driver, huh?

Till I stand, and
you hear the rattle

of $70 in change.

What?

Would you quit
kidding around
for just a minute?

Oh.
Did you hear
what's happening

at the reunion tonight?

Is Bobby still going
through with it?

Yeah, he's going
through with it.

He's got
an incredible disguise.

That's him
right there.

Alex, just be sure
and tell me the details

when you find out
what's happening.

I really do
want to hear.

Really?
Mm-hmm.

Hey, Louie, would
you mind paying now?

I'm getting off
in five minutes.

That's all right.

I'll take care of it.

Hey, uh,
what if I walked you home?

Don't be hard on us.

Come on, we've
been through this.

No, it's not what
you're thinking.

Haven't you heard?
The news is full of it.

Packs of wild dogs
roaming the streets.

I just thought you might
want someone along

to hurl his body at them.

Listen, I'll
see you tomorrow.

I want you to give me
all the details, okay?

And they say
rejection isn't fun.

You know,
I'm dying here,

not knowing what's
going on over there.

You know
what I mean? Huh?

Yeah.

What would be the harm
if I just strolled over there

and took a peek?

No, no, eh, no.

( speaking native language )

No.

Surely, there's
a remote possibility.

No.

( speaking native language )

Yeah. Yeah.

No, no, no, no, no.

( speaking native language )

Yeah.

No, no.

( speaking native language )

Louie, did you just say

you're going to go
to the reunion tonight?

Yeah, I'm going to go.

You want to come?

Just the question
I wanted to hear.

Yeah, I would.

Okay, let's go.

I'll be with you
in a minute.

( laughing )

Right.

What happened? How
come you're so happy?

'Cause Louie decided
to go over to the reunion

and see how Bobby's doing,
and I'm going with him.

Alex, I'd love to come.

I'd like you to come,

but I know how you feel
about cab drivers,

and I respect you.
I respect you,
Beverly. I really do.

( jitterbug music playing )

¶ At the hop

¶ You can rock and roll

¶ You can dance,
you can stroll ¶

¶ At the hop

¶ You can make it

¶ You can shake it

¶ At the hop

¶ Yeah, let's go to the hop

¶ Let's go to the hop...

( cheering )

( music stops )

( cheering )

Louie.

Lou?

Don't worry about it.

Remember me?

Oh, yeah. I do.

Hi, Stanley.

Stanley Tarsus.

Come over here, Stanley.

Hey, how you doing?

Oh, real good.

Real good.

Wait for me, okay?

Oh, sure.

Hey, that's one
high-price

piece of goods
you're wearing there,

Stanley, my man.

Hey, you must be
doing real good.

Oh, I have no complaints,
financially speaking.

Is that right?

Yeah. You see, I'm a waiter
at the Park Pavilion.

Oh, great.

They promoted you
from busboy.

I don't think
you understand.

That means that
I make $20,000 a year.

That's just in salary.

I make another
$40,000 in tips,

of which I declare
about $10,000,

which gives me the equivalent
of about $100,000 a year.

Now, how are
you doing, Louie?

Well, not nearly as good,
I'm afraid to say.

I've only got
a civil service job.

I'm an auditor for the
Internal Revenue Service.

Not a good night
for you, is it, Stan?

Especially
with you being

on your way to jail
and everything.

Ooh! Ooh! You even
spilled something
on your tie.

Where?

There.

You are quite a man,
Louie De Palma.

I figure you're about
100 proof yourself, Sheila.

Thank you.

Hey, watch where
you're going.

You got
to excuse me.

This is
the worst night

of my entire life.

That was Stanley Tarsus.

Him? He was...

Oh-ho! Bobby did it.
Bobby did it.

It really worked.

I never thought
it would,

'cause it was
the craziest stunt

in the world.

I thought
of it.

I love that you
thought of it.

Well, I didn't
think of it.

I love you
for admitting

that you didn't
think of it.

I can't lose tonight.

Let's dance close

and pretend not
to notice.

Not bad.

LOUIE:
Not bad at all.

All these mo-mos trying
to learn how to do my steps,

wishing they were
with my girl.

I feel real good.

And yet...

No, no, no.

Anything you say
beyond that

has to fall in the category
of pushing it, Louie.

I just want to touch
Sheila's hair.

I've always wanted to do that
ever since high school.

Don't do it, Louie.

Why not?

What harm could it do?

Come on.

( chuckling )

Yeah, I guess
you're right.

Go ahead.

( screaming )

Oh!

Whoa! Whoa!

( crowd screaming )

( balloons popping )

I don't know about anybody else,

but I'm really enjoying myself!

LOUIE:
Thank you!

Oh, thank you.

Oh, see you!

Night, Mr. Walters.

Mmm.