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1
00:00:04,454 --> 00:00:07,389
( theme music playing )
2
00:00:59,291 --> 00:01:01,492
MAN:
Yo! Cab!
3
00:01:06,298 --> 00:01:09,200
Taxi!
4
00:01:32,491 --> 00:01:35,427
Where to?
5
00:01:36,979 --> 00:01:38,880
51st street, please.
6
00:01:38,915 --> 00:01:40,648
Oh, right.
7
00:01:45,188 --> 00:01:47,789
Do you mind the dog
being in the cab, do you?
8
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No. He doesn't mind me
being in it, does he?
9
00:01:50,793 --> 00:01:52,294
Don't worry about him.
10
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He's very well trained.
11
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He just got out
of obedience school.
12
00:01:55,231 --> 00:01:56,364
I take him everywhere with me.
13
00:01:56,398 --> 00:01:58,366
I just won him in a poker game
a few weeks back.
14
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It's a beautiful dog, isn't he?
15
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Yeah, he sure is beautiful.
16
00:02:01,871 --> 00:02:03,138
Name is Hamlet.
17
00:02:03,172 --> 00:02:05,740
You can probably guess
why I call him Hamlet.
18
00:02:05,774 --> 00:02:08,993
Grew up in a small town?
19
00:02:09,027 --> 00:02:11,729
No. Because he's
a Great Dane.
20
00:02:11,764 --> 00:02:15,516
You know, Hamlet,
the Dane in the play.
21
00:02:15,551 --> 00:02:17,518
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
22
00:02:17,553 --> 00:02:19,620
Very intelligent dog, too.
23
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Watch, I'll show you.
24
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Speak, Hamlet. Speak.
25
00:02:26,162 --> 00:02:28,563
Come on, Hamlet, speak.
26
00:02:28,597 --> 00:02:30,598
Come on, Hamlet, speak.
27
00:02:30,632 --> 00:02:35,871
"O, what a rogue
and peasant slave am I!"
28
00:02:35,905 --> 00:02:39,808
Come on, Hamlet, speak,
you stupid dog.
29
00:02:39,842 --> 00:02:41,209
Come on, speak!
30
00:02:41,243 --> 00:02:43,078
That's okay. If he thinks
of something to say later on
31
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he can call me.
32
00:02:48,417 --> 00:02:50,501
Uh, it's a buck 65.
33
00:02:50,536 --> 00:02:51,836
There you go.
34
00:02:51,870 --> 00:02:53,571
Ah, that's all right.
35
00:02:53,605 --> 00:02:54,839
Thank you.
36
00:02:54,873 --> 00:02:57,074
You know, he really is
a very smart dog.
37
00:02:57,108 --> 00:02:58,843
I don't know
what's wrong with him today.
38
00:02:58,877 --> 00:03:00,611
Hold out your hand,
he'll give you his paw.
39
00:03:00,646 --> 00:03:02,246
Uh, no, I don't
think I better.
40
00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:03,614
No, no, no.
Come on, hold out your hand,
41
00:03:03,649 --> 00:03:05,115
he'll give you his paw.
42
00:03:05,150 --> 00:03:06,818
Give him your paw, Ham.
43
00:03:06,852 --> 00:03:09,053
I said paw, not floor.
44
00:03:09,087 --> 00:03:10,054
Ah, that's okay.
45
00:03:10,088 --> 00:03:11,188
No, it isn't okay.
46
00:03:11,223 --> 00:03:13,358
Get up from there,
you stupid dog.
47
00:03:13,392 --> 00:03:14,892
Come on,
get up from there!
Hey, that's o...
48
00:03:14,926 --> 00:03:16,060
Hey, mister, what
are you doing?
49
00:03:16,094 --> 00:03:17,928
Get up from there.
Well, he's got to learn.
Hey, what are...
50
00:03:17,963 --> 00:03:18,996
Get up from there.
51
00:03:19,030 --> 00:03:20,197
( dog whimpers )
Hey, don't hit the dog.
52
00:03:20,232 --> 00:03:22,266
You-- It's my dog.
I'll hit him if I want to.
53
00:03:22,301 --> 00:03:24,069
Get up from there
you stupid dog.
Come on, it's my cab.
54
00:03:24,103 --> 00:03:25,937
Don't hit the dog
in my cab.
I said, get up from there!
55
00:03:25,971 --> 00:03:27,438
Hey, mister, you hear
what I said?
When I tell you to get up
56
00:03:27,473 --> 00:03:28,839
Will you cut it out?
get up from there.
57
00:03:28,874 --> 00:03:30,208
Hey, mister, will you
cut that out?
Get up from there,
58
00:03:30,242 --> 00:03:31,842
you stupid dog.
Hey, give me that.
Give me that.
59
00:03:31,877 --> 00:03:33,278
What...?
Get out of my cab.
60
00:03:33,312 --> 00:03:34,279
Go on. Get out of here.
61
00:03:34,313 --> 00:03:36,381
All right.
Come on, Hamlet.
62
00:03:36,415 --> 00:03:38,115
Hamlet, come out here!
63
00:03:38,150 --> 00:03:39,617
Come...!
64
00:03:39,652 --> 00:03:42,720
Hey, you got
my dog in there!
( barking )
65
00:03:42,754 --> 00:03:45,056
( tires screeching )
66
00:03:50,396 --> 00:03:52,130
( brakes screeching )
67
00:04:00,289 --> 00:04:03,124
Hi. It's Bobby Wheeler.
68
00:04:03,159 --> 00:04:04,459
Any messages?
69
00:04:04,493 --> 00:04:07,295
Well, a-are you sure?
70
00:04:07,329 --> 00:04:13,201
Yeah, okay, well,
just check again, all right?
71
00:04:13,235 --> 00:04:15,336
O-okay. Now, listen.
I'm down at the garage.
72
00:04:15,371 --> 00:04:17,738
If anybody calls,
you give them the number.
73
00:04:17,773 --> 00:04:18,873
All right.
74
00:04:25,431 --> 00:04:27,064
Hey, what are you doing, man?
75
00:04:27,098 --> 00:04:28,566
Let me go, Tony.
I got to hit something.
76
00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:29,351
Hey, what are you crazy?
77
00:04:29,385 --> 00:04:31,469
I can see you're upset,
but, uh, don't hit that.
78
00:04:31,503 --> 00:04:32,770
You could really hurt yourself.
79
00:04:32,804 --> 00:04:33,555
Yeah, well,
I don't care, man,
80
00:04:33,589 --> 00:04:34,739
'cause I got to hit something.
81
00:04:34,774 --> 00:04:36,074
All right,
all right. Here.
82
00:04:36,108 --> 00:04:38,342
Hit me. Here,
in the stomach.
Go ahead.
83
00:04:38,377 --> 00:04:39,377
I can't do that.
84
00:04:39,495 --> 00:04:41,997
Come on, don't worry about it.
I'm hard as a rock.
85
00:04:42,031 --> 00:04:43,331
I do 200 sit-ups a day.
86
00:04:43,366 --> 00:04:45,333
I go to the gym, guys
hit me all the time.
87
00:04:45,368 --> 00:04:47,335
It's part of my training.
Go ahead. Go ahead.
88
00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:48,536
You're sure now, right?
89
00:04:48,570 --> 00:04:50,038
Go ahead. Hard as
you can. Go ahead.
90
00:04:50,856 --> 00:04:52,773
Oh, Tony!
I'm sorry.
91
00:04:52,807 --> 00:04:55,209
Are you okay?
92
00:04:55,244 --> 00:04:56,644
I'm fine. I'm fine.
93
00:04:56,678 --> 00:05:00,148
Hey, listen, if it makes you
feel any better,
94
00:05:00,182 --> 00:05:01,215
I feel great.
95
00:05:01,250 --> 00:05:03,584
Great.
Anytime I can help.
96
00:05:03,618 --> 00:05:05,986
I'm really sorry.
I'm really sorry, Tony.
97
00:05:06,021 --> 00:05:07,088
Hey, hey, John?
98
00:05:07,122 --> 00:05:08,689
John, don't use
that phone, okay?
99
00:05:09,908 --> 00:05:12,126
John, I said
don't use that phone!
100
00:05:18,467 --> 00:05:20,068
LOUIE:
Hey, Bob.
101
00:05:20,102 --> 00:05:23,504
Is it all right if
John uses the toilet?
102
00:05:23,539 --> 00:05:25,373
Just lay off, Louie, okay?
103
00:05:25,407 --> 00:05:27,875
I got a lot of things
on my mind.
104
00:05:27,909 --> 00:05:29,243
Hi, boys.
105
00:05:29,278 --> 00:05:30,545
Hi, Alex.
106
00:05:30,579 --> 00:05:31,679
Hi.
107
00:05:31,713 --> 00:05:33,314
Hey, listen, um, could
you do me a favor?
108
00:05:33,348 --> 00:05:35,266
Yeah?
I'm expecting a call
any minute, you know.
109
00:05:35,301 --> 00:05:36,734
And could you wait with me?
110
00:05:36,768 --> 00:05:38,436
'Cause I don't want to
be alone when I get it.
111
00:05:38,470 --> 00:05:40,104
Yeah, sure.
What kind of phone call?
112
00:05:40,139 --> 00:05:41,605
Well, you see...
113
00:05:41,640 --> 00:05:42,606
LATKA:
Alex. Yo.
114
00:05:42,641 --> 00:05:45,460
I find...
I find in your cab.
115
00:05:45,494 --> 00:05:46,694
Yeah, I know.
116
00:05:46,729 --> 00:05:49,130
Oh, my gosh.
Look at him.
117
00:05:49,164 --> 00:05:50,965
Wow. Where'd you find him?
118
00:05:50,999 --> 00:05:52,083
I took him away from
some guy in my cab.
119
00:05:52,117 --> 00:05:53,584
He was whipping him
with his leash.
120
00:05:53,618 --> 00:05:55,970
Hey, you shouldn't do that, boy.
You could hurt somebody.
121
00:05:56,004 --> 00:05:57,438
ALEX:
Not him.
122
00:05:57,472 --> 00:05:59,140
Hey, Alex...
123
00:05:59,174 --> 00:06:00,141
He's so gorgeous.
124
00:06:00,175 --> 00:06:01,643
What's his name?
125
00:06:01,677 --> 00:06:02,310
Alex, you see,
this phone call...
126
00:06:02,344 --> 00:06:03,828
His name is Hamlet.
127
00:06:03,862 --> 00:06:05,162
Are you going to him?
128
00:06:05,197 --> 00:06:05,947
Well, I guess so.
129
00:06:05,981 --> 00:06:07,565
Till I can find
a better home for him.
130
00:06:07,599 --> 00:06:10,968
Hey, Latka, will you do me a
favor and get Hamlet some water?
131
00:06:11,002 --> 00:06:13,821
Come on.
Oh, I'm sorry, Bobby.
132
00:06:13,855 --> 00:06:16,257
Uh, you were telling me
about this phone call.
133
00:06:16,291 --> 00:06:17,258
Yeah, it...
Hey, so what's doing here?
134
00:06:17,292 --> 00:06:18,593
Are we getting
breakfast or what?
135
00:06:18,627 --> 00:06:20,228
Hey, what's this phone call
you're waiting for?
136
00:06:20,262 --> 00:06:22,630
It's about an acting job.
137
00:06:22,664 --> 00:06:23,481
Oh...
138
00:06:23,515 --> 00:06:24,582
Yeah, I'm up for the lead
139
00:06:24,616 --> 00:06:25,883
in an off-broadway play.
140
00:06:25,918 --> 00:06:27,251
That's something.
All right!
141
00:06:27,285 --> 00:06:28,753
Yeah, but the thing is
142
00:06:28,787 --> 00:06:30,437
it's down between me
and two other guys
143
00:06:30,472 --> 00:06:33,040
and they said they'd let me know
this morning. So...
144
00:06:33,075 --> 00:06:34,425
Stuff like that's
always happening to you.
145
00:06:34,459 --> 00:06:35,793
This is special?
146
00:06:35,828 --> 00:06:39,080
Yeah. See, that's why I wanted
to talk to you, Alex.
147
00:06:39,114 --> 00:06:41,749
I've got this whole
thing like, I...
148
00:06:43,618 --> 00:06:45,169
All right, all right.
Everybody sit down.
149
00:06:45,204 --> 00:06:46,204
I'll tell you
150
00:06:49,808 --> 00:06:52,109
See, when I first came
to New York...
151
00:06:52,143 --> 00:06:53,644
Where did you
come from, Bobby?
152
00:06:53,679 --> 00:06:54,978
The Bronx.
153
00:06:57,699 --> 00:07:01,452
I made this deal with myself.
154
00:07:01,487 --> 00:07:03,554
I mean, I knew how
there were thousands
155
00:07:03,589 --> 00:07:05,189
of starving actors here
156
00:07:05,223 --> 00:07:07,759
and how it's a rotten life
and how very few make it
157
00:07:07,793 --> 00:07:10,395
and how you can get old trying,
you know?
158
00:07:10,429 --> 00:07:12,380
So I gave myself
a strict time limit.
159
00:07:12,414 --> 00:07:14,014
Three years.
160
00:07:14,049 --> 00:07:15,650
Three years to get started
as an actor.
161
00:07:15,684 --> 00:07:17,918
Now, I promised myself,
if in that amount of time
162
00:07:17,952 --> 00:07:19,720
if I didn't get
a paid acting job
163
00:07:19,754 --> 00:07:22,590
I'd give it up,
get a regular full-time job
164
00:07:22,624 --> 00:07:24,325
and never think
about acting again.
165
00:07:24,359 --> 00:07:26,160
I mean a guy
can't go on
166
00:07:26,194 --> 00:07:27,311
like I've been doing forever.
167
00:07:27,345 --> 00:07:29,346
You know, beating my brains out
here six nights a week.
168
00:07:29,381 --> 00:07:31,783
Spending my days trying out for
something that might not happen.
169
00:07:31,817 --> 00:07:33,550
I mean, there's got
to be a limit.
170
00:07:33,585 --> 00:07:35,286
I figured three years.
171
00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:38,089
I mean, how could I not get a
job in three years, you know?
172
00:07:41,860 --> 00:07:44,428
Three years are up today.
173
00:07:44,463 --> 00:07:46,964
I mean, my life is riding
on this job, you know?
174
00:07:46,998 --> 00:07:49,267
I got to get this part, Alex.
175
00:07:49,301 --> 00:07:51,269
You see, that's-that's why
I wanted you to be with me.
176
00:07:51,303 --> 00:07:52,470
Yeah, I know.
Well, listen...
177
00:07:52,504 --> 00:07:55,105
'Cause you know how
much I want to act.
178
00:07:55,140 --> 00:07:59,377
It's the only thing
in the world that...
179
00:07:59,411 --> 00:08:01,612
that really matters to me.
180
00:08:01,647 --> 00:08:02,647
Yeah, I know...
181
00:08:02,681 --> 00:08:03,681
I mean, if they call
up and they tell me
182
00:08:03,715 --> 00:08:05,283
that they're gonna pick
one of those other guys,
183
00:08:05,317 --> 00:08:07,117
Alex, I don't know
what I'm going to do.
184
00:08:07,152 --> 00:08:08,185
W-What are you going to do?
185
00:08:08,220 --> 00:08:10,054
So, they pick another guy. I
mean, It's not the world, is it?
186
00:08:10,089 --> 00:08:12,824
MAN:
All right, I
want my dog.
187
00:08:12,858 --> 00:08:13,641
Where's my dog?
188
00:08:13,675 --> 00:08:15,059
I'll right back to you,
Bobby.
189
00:08:15,093 --> 00:08:16,227
I got to deal
with this guy first.
190
00:08:16,261 --> 00:08:18,462
Come on, where is he?
Hamlet?!
191
00:08:18,496 --> 00:08:19,630
Hamlet?!
192
00:08:19,664 --> 00:08:20,865
Oh, there he is.
193
00:08:20,899 --> 00:08:22,416
Would you give me
that dog, please?
194
00:08:22,450 --> 00:08:23,584
What dog?
195
00:08:23,618 --> 00:08:24,585
Well, that dog.
196
00:08:24,619 --> 00:08:25,753
That's my dog.
197
00:08:25,787 --> 00:08:28,189
I don't see any dog.
What dog are you talking about?
198
00:08:28,223 --> 00:08:29,490
ELAINE:
Yeah, I don't see
any dog either.
199
00:08:29,524 --> 00:08:30,791
Dog? What dog?
200
00:08:30,825 --> 00:08:33,460
Hey, Fred, do you see a dog?
What dog?
201
00:08:33,495 --> 00:08:34,862
There isn't
any dog here.
202
00:08:34,897 --> 00:08:35,930
Oh, I get it.
203
00:08:35,964 --> 00:08:37,098
You guys are looking
for trouble, huh?
204
00:08:37,132 --> 00:08:38,266
LOUIE:
Hey!
205
00:08:38,300 --> 00:08:39,633
What's going on out here?
206
00:08:39,667 --> 00:08:41,569
Are you in charge here?
207
00:08:43,121 --> 00:08:45,455
Do old ladies get mugged?
208
00:08:47,292 --> 00:08:52,362
Well, that dog is my dog,
and I want him now.
209
00:08:52,397 --> 00:08:55,032
Hey, Louie, we don't know
what this guy's talking about.
210
00:08:55,067 --> 00:08:57,301
You don't see
no dog here, do ya?
211
00:08:57,336 --> 00:09:01,105
Uh... yeah...
I got something in my eyes.
212
00:09:01,140 --> 00:09:02,407
I can't see anything.
213
00:09:02,441 --> 00:09:04,742
I can't see if there's
a dog here or not.
214
00:09:04,776 --> 00:09:05,843
Anybody got a dollar bill
215
00:09:05,877 --> 00:09:08,812
I could wipe the sweat
out of my eyes?
216
00:09:08,847 --> 00:09:10,881
ALEX:
Here, Louie.
217
00:09:10,916 --> 00:09:15,052
There's no dog here, mister.
218
00:09:15,086 --> 00:09:17,755
You guys think
you're pretty cute, don't you?
219
00:09:17,789 --> 00:09:19,723
Well, you'd better
give me that dog
220
00:09:19,758 --> 00:09:21,392
and you'd better
give him to me right now,
221
00:09:21,426 --> 00:09:22,659
because if you don't,
222
00:09:22,694 --> 00:09:25,029
I'm going straight from here
to the police.
223
00:09:25,063 --> 00:09:25,712
Oh...
224
00:09:25,747 --> 00:09:26,797
Now, does anybody want
225
00:09:26,832 --> 00:09:28,132
to talk to me about that or not?
226
00:09:28,166 --> 00:09:29,651
Sure, you want somebody
to talk to you?
227
00:09:29,685 --> 00:09:30,885
MAN:
Yeah.
Latka.
228
00:09:34,907 --> 00:09:36,607
Hi.
229
00:09:36,641 --> 00:09:41,912
( speaking native language )
230
00:09:44,683 --> 00:09:46,150
Go, Latka!
231
00:09:46,185 --> 00:09:48,619
( phone ringing )
232
00:09:57,129 --> 00:09:58,429
Hi.
233
00:09:58,464 --> 00:09:59,763
Yeah, yeah.
234
00:09:59,798 --> 00:10:01,466
This is Bobby Wheeler.
235
00:10:04,470 --> 00:10:07,771
Uh, no, uh...
that's okay, you know.
236
00:10:07,806 --> 00:10:12,477
Right. I-I-I, uh...
I appreciate the call, really.
237
00:10:14,813 --> 00:10:16,680
( sighing )
238
00:10:27,659 --> 00:10:30,661
I didn't get the part, Hamlet.
239
00:10:41,189 --> 00:10:43,641
Here are my
bookings, Louie.
240
00:10:43,675 --> 00:10:45,143
( barking )
241
00:10:45,177 --> 00:10:46,644
( laughing )
242
00:10:46,678 --> 00:10:48,646
That's a good Hamlet.
243
00:10:48,680 --> 00:10:49,814
That's good, Hamlet.
244
00:10:49,848 --> 00:10:50,848
Hey, Louie... Louie...
245
00:10:50,883 --> 00:10:52,016
for God's sake, man,
it's my turn.
246
00:10:52,050 --> 00:10:53,084
Let me have him, huh?
247
00:10:53,118 --> 00:10:55,469
All right, All right.
248
00:10:55,503 --> 00:10:57,504
I'll let you have him,
249
00:10:57,539 --> 00:11:00,074
but only 'cause your dreams
are crashing around you.
250
00:11:00,109 --> 00:11:01,508
Thanks.
251
00:11:01,543 --> 00:11:02,843
Good boy.
252
00:11:02,877 --> 00:11:04,378
Good boy. Yeah.
253
00:11:04,413 --> 00:11:08,015
( groans )
254
00:11:08,050 --> 00:11:10,584
Hey, Bobby, listen,
don't worry about it.
255
00:11:10,618 --> 00:11:12,920
Everything's going
to be okay.
256
00:11:12,954 --> 00:11:15,423
Will you stop talking
to him like that, Elaine?
257
00:11:15,457 --> 00:11:17,324
How is everything be okay?
258
00:11:17,359 --> 00:11:18,742
Look, I don't know
much about acting,
259
00:11:18,776 --> 00:11:20,677
but what I do know is,
if you want a good job
260
00:11:20,712 --> 00:11:23,180
you got to go
stand in line.
261
00:11:23,215 --> 00:11:26,116
If you want to find a good job
acting, find a line to stand in.
262
00:11:27,252 --> 00:11:28,652
Bobby, you're
not going to get anywhere
263
00:11:28,686 --> 00:11:30,187
sitting here
feeling sorry for yourself.
264
00:11:31,789 --> 00:11:34,258
BOBBY:
Damn it, Alex, you're right.
265
00:11:34,292 --> 00:11:36,360
There's still 14 hours to gobefore midnight.
266
00:11:36,394 --> 00:11:39,429
I'm gonna knock on every doorin New York if I have to.
267
00:11:39,464 --> 00:11:40,797
I don't care what it is--
268
00:11:40,832 --> 00:11:43,200
bit part, commercial, walk-on--
269
00:11:43,235 --> 00:11:45,202
but I'm going to get something.
270
00:11:49,425 --> 00:11:50,391
Hi, Tom.
271
00:11:50,426 --> 00:11:51,392
Hi, Bobby.
272
00:11:51,427 --> 00:11:52,693
Oh, gee, thanks a lot.
273
00:11:52,728 --> 00:11:54,445
I can't tell you how much
I appreciate it. Really.
274
00:11:54,479 --> 00:11:55,412
Oh, don't mention it.
275
00:11:55,446 --> 00:11:56,497
Now, it's just a lucky thing
276
00:11:56,531 --> 00:11:57,965
that you happened
to come by today.
Yeah.
277
00:11:57,999 --> 00:11:59,967
Now, look, Bobby, you do
understand that the director
278
00:12:00,001 --> 00:12:01,902
is doing the casting
on the commercial.
279
00:12:01,936 --> 00:12:03,404
I can't influence him
for you.
280
00:12:03,438 --> 00:12:04,755
Yeah, of course,
but, you know,
281
00:12:04,789 --> 00:12:07,725
any tips on how I might
be able to catch his eye?
282
00:12:07,759 --> 00:12:10,311
Just, uh, be yourself.
283
00:12:10,345 --> 00:12:12,113
I better go rehearse a little.
Okay.
284
00:12:20,088 --> 00:12:21,689
MAN:
Tom?
285
00:12:30,899 --> 00:12:32,599
Tom, okay, I'm ready.
286
00:12:32,634 --> 00:12:34,468
Everybody, everybody,
287
00:12:34,502 --> 00:12:36,137
this is Peter Nicholson
our director.
288
00:12:36,171 --> 00:12:37,371
Thank you.
289
00:12:37,405 --> 00:12:38,505
Okay, now, I'm sure
you're all familiar
290
00:12:38,540 --> 00:12:39,840
with this commercial.
291
00:12:39,875 --> 00:12:42,009
I'd like Tom over here.
Yeah.
292
00:12:42,044 --> 00:12:44,779
And I'd like you all to form
a loose semicircle behind him
293
00:12:44,813 --> 00:12:46,647
with your backs
towards him, please.
294
00:12:46,682 --> 00:12:47,648
Okay?
295
00:12:47,683 --> 00:12:49,150
Now I will cue Tom
296
00:12:49,184 --> 00:12:52,653
and I want you
to react naturally for me, okay?
297
00:12:52,688 --> 00:12:54,789
And... Tom.
298
00:12:54,823 --> 00:12:59,193
"My broker is EF Hutton,
and EF Hutton says... "
299
00:13:02,531 --> 00:13:03,964
PETER:
Great!
300
00:13:03,998 --> 00:13:04,649
Okay, thank you.
301
00:13:04,683 --> 00:13:06,300
We'll be in touch.
302
00:13:10,839 --> 00:13:12,006
Thank you.
303
00:13:13,041 --> 00:13:16,010
Uh... Tom,
h-how did I do?
304
00:13:16,044 --> 00:13:18,746
You did fine, just fine,
Bobby, really.
305
00:13:18,780 --> 00:13:20,681
You, uh, think I got a shot?
306
00:13:20,715 --> 00:13:22,616
Yeah, you got a shot!
307
00:13:22,650 --> 00:13:24,385
Gees, thanks, Tom.
308
00:13:46,324 --> 00:13:47,724
( chimes tinkling )
309
00:13:47,759 --> 00:13:48,725
I'll be right there in a minute.
310
00:13:48,760 --> 00:13:50,194
I'll be right there,
right there.
311
00:13:50,228 --> 00:13:51,695
( chimes tinkling )
312
00:13:51,729 --> 00:13:53,531
All right, coming, coming.
313
00:13:53,565 --> 00:13:55,032
Hey, come on in.
314
00:13:55,066 --> 00:13:56,534
Hey, did you get the commercial?
315
00:13:56,568 --> 00:13:58,035
Hey, did you get
your commercial?
316
00:13:58,069 --> 00:13:59,537
Just wait
a minute.
317
00:13:59,571 --> 00:14:01,972
Are you going
to tell us or not?
318
00:14:02,006 --> 00:14:03,974
Well, wait till
everybody's inside.
319
00:14:04,008 --> 00:14:06,343
ELAINE:
Did you get it?
320
00:14:06,378 --> 00:14:07,578
I didn't get it!
321
00:14:07,612 --> 00:14:08,512
( all cheering )
322
00:14:08,547 --> 00:14:09,430
What?
323
00:14:09,464 --> 00:14:11,015
What?
324
00:14:11,049 --> 00:14:12,983
So what are we
celebrating, then?
325
00:14:13,018 --> 00:14:13,868
Oh. Well...
326
00:14:13,986 --> 00:14:15,453
My first acting job.
327
00:14:15,487 --> 00:14:17,321
Oh...
328
00:14:17,356 --> 00:14:18,989
You got your first
acting job?
329
00:14:19,024 --> 00:14:20,124
Not yet!
330
00:14:20,158 --> 00:14:21,692
Yay!
Yay!
Yay!
331
00:14:21,726 --> 00:14:23,194
What?
332
00:14:23,228 --> 00:14:25,930
What is this, some kind
of a new party game here?
333
00:14:25,964 --> 00:14:28,365
Hey, it's okay
that I didn't get a job,
334
00:14:28,399 --> 00:14:30,267
because I'm going to get one.
335
00:14:30,302 --> 00:14:31,335
( cheering )
336
00:14:31,369 --> 00:14:32,436
Wait a minute.
Are you sure?
337
00:14:32,470 --> 00:14:33,938
Oh, positive.
338
00:14:33,972 --> 00:14:34,739
( soft cheering )
339
00:14:34,773 --> 00:14:37,758
And it's gonna be
before midnight tonight.
340
00:14:37,792 --> 00:14:39,076
Come on,
I'll tell you
all about it.
341
00:14:39,110 --> 00:14:40,177
Let's everybody
have a drink.
342
00:14:40,211 --> 00:14:41,379
Yeah, let's have a drink.
343
00:14:41,413 --> 00:14:43,213
Hey, Latka, come on.
Let's go.
Come on, come on.
344
00:14:43,248 --> 00:14:44,615
( mumbling )
345
00:14:44,649 --> 00:14:46,484
Okay, all right,
somebody make a toast
346
00:14:46,518 --> 00:14:48,085
and we're set.
Okay, um...
347
00:14:48,119 --> 00:14:49,369
Toast, toast.
348
00:14:49,404 --> 00:14:50,638
Eh...
349
00:14:50,672 --> 00:14:55,910
( speaking native language )
350
00:14:55,944 --> 00:14:57,728
No, no.
351
00:14:57,762 --> 00:15:00,047
Everybody must do toast.
352
00:15:01,382 --> 00:15:04,251
( all speaking native language )
353
00:15:04,286 --> 00:15:06,086
No, no, no, no.
354
00:15:06,120 --> 00:15:08,138
( speakingnative language )
355
00:15:08,173 --> 00:15:09,973
( all repeating )
356
00:15:10,008 --> 00:15:11,425
No, no, no.
357
00:15:11,459 --> 00:15:13,060
( changing words )
358
00:15:13,095 --> 00:15:16,396
Latka, if you don't mind,
I'll make the toast.
359
00:15:17,715 --> 00:15:19,099
To Bobby's new job.
360
00:15:19,134 --> 00:15:20,300
Hear, hear.
361
00:15:20,335 --> 00:15:22,102
Ni-nice toast.
362
00:15:23,538 --> 00:15:25,939
Okay, come on, come on.
Everybody, sit down.
363
00:15:25,973 --> 00:15:28,058
Yeah, come on.
Okay.
364
00:15:28,092 --> 00:15:30,360
ELAINE:
Well, Bobby,
why don't you just tell us
365
00:15:30,395 --> 00:15:31,595
about the job
you're going to get.
366
00:15:31,630 --> 00:15:33,297
Oh, well...
367
00:15:33,331 --> 00:15:36,033
When I found out I didn't get
the commercial this morning
368
00:15:36,067 --> 00:15:37,301
I really started hustling.
369
00:15:37,335 --> 00:15:39,503
I went into every
casting office in this town.
370
00:15:39,538 --> 00:15:41,271
Some guys even
had me read for parts, you know?
371
00:15:41,306 --> 00:15:44,074
And that's pretty good when
you're going in cold, you know.
372
00:15:44,108 --> 00:15:45,309
Yeah, I'll say.
373
00:15:45,343 --> 00:15:46,143
Who am I kidding?
374
00:15:46,177 --> 00:15:47,828
That's great when
you're going in cold!
375
00:15:47,862 --> 00:15:50,030
And some of them even told me
that I was in the running.
376
00:15:50,064 --> 00:15:52,132
So one of them
should come through, right?
377
00:15:52,166 --> 00:15:53,817
Sure.
378
00:15:53,851 --> 00:15:55,836
I'm gonna get a call on my phone
before midnight tonight
379
00:15:55,870 --> 00:15:57,504
when the three years are up,
380
00:15:57,538 --> 00:15:59,372
and I'm not going to have
to give up acting.
381
00:15:59,407 --> 00:16:01,809
Oh, you know, it's just so great
382
00:16:01,843 --> 00:16:03,276
when you know it
in your heart, man.
383
00:16:03,311 --> 00:16:04,912
You don't have
to sweat it anymore.
384
00:16:04,946 --> 00:16:06,497
( soft agreements )
385
00:16:06,531 --> 00:16:07,915
Well, maybe somebody
is going to call you, Bobby,
386
00:16:07,949 --> 00:16:10,050
but how do you know they're
gonna call before midnight?
387
00:16:10,085 --> 00:16:11,635
Well, that's simple logic.
388
00:16:11,669 --> 00:16:14,271
You see, when you're
good at something
389
00:16:14,306 --> 00:16:17,141
you end up doing it.
390
00:16:17,175 --> 00:16:18,508
Now, I'm not going
to end up acting
391
00:16:18,543 --> 00:16:21,178
unless I get a phone call
before midnight. So...
392
00:16:21,212 --> 00:16:22,897
I'm gonna get a call
before midnight.
393
00:16:26,234 --> 00:16:27,500
Isn't it wonderful?
394
00:16:27,535 --> 00:16:31,155
I mean, so what if he
doesn't get a call tonight?
395
00:16:31,189 --> 00:16:32,489
He's feeling really
great right now.
396
00:16:32,523 --> 00:16:34,825
Yeah. So what if you're
falling off the cliff?
397
00:16:34,859 --> 00:16:36,927
The view is wonderful
on the way down.
398
00:16:36,962 --> 00:16:38,262
What does that mean?
399
00:16:38,296 --> 00:16:39,596
Somebody better tell this guy
400
00:16:39,630 --> 00:16:41,765
that he's setting himself up
for too big a fall.
401
00:16:41,799 --> 00:16:42,967
Alex, don't.
402
00:16:43,001 --> 00:16:44,568
Sure. We all leave here
at 11:59
403
00:16:44,602 --> 00:16:45,836
with a song in our heart,
404
00:16:45,870 --> 00:16:47,471
and hope we don't
hear the thud.
405
00:16:47,505 --> 00:16:48,805
I just don't think
it's appropriate
406
00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:49,940
right now.
407
00:16:49,974 --> 00:16:52,276
Hey, uh, what are you guys
talking about?
408
00:16:52,310 --> 00:16:53,677
Nothing. Alex
is just getting
a little nervous.
409
00:16:53,711 --> 00:16:55,445
Now come on, Elaine.
I got to tell him
what I'm thinking.
410
00:16:55,479 --> 00:16:56,579
I'm his friend.
411
00:16:56,614 --> 00:16:57,580
Hey, don't worry, Alex.
412
00:16:57,615 --> 00:16:58,615
I just explained to you
413
00:16:58,649 --> 00:17:00,918
why I'm gonna get the call
before midnight, right?
414
00:17:00,952 --> 00:17:01,685
Yeah, yeah, I know--
415
00:17:01,720 --> 00:17:03,170
because you're
so good at acting.
416
00:17:03,204 --> 00:17:04,221
Exactly.
417
00:17:04,255 --> 00:17:05,789
Great actors get jobs.
418
00:17:05,823 --> 00:17:07,157
I'm a great actor.
419
00:17:07,192 --> 00:17:09,526
Bobby, we got
to be rational here.
420
00:17:09,561 --> 00:17:10,561
I am being rational.
421
00:17:10,595 --> 00:17:11,662
I'm good.
422
00:17:11,696 --> 00:17:14,030
Good people do what
they're good at and I'm good.
423
00:17:14,065 --> 00:17:14,682
Bobby...
424
00:17:14,716 --> 00:17:15,849
I got to act, Alex,
425
00:17:15,884 --> 00:17:17,050
because I'm good.
426
00:17:17,085 --> 00:17:18,085
Bobby, listen...
427
00:17:18,119 --> 00:17:19,253
I'm good!
428
00:17:19,287 --> 00:17:20,821
Look, just because
someone doesn't call you
429
00:17:20,855 --> 00:17:22,089
by midnight doesn't mean...
430
00:17:22,123 --> 00:17:23,707
The only way that
phone's not gonna ring
431
00:17:23,741 --> 00:17:24,808
before midnight, Alex,
432
00:17:24,842 --> 00:17:26,443
is if I'm not good enough.
433
00:17:26,478 --> 00:17:28,112
And you're not going to tell
me...
434
00:17:28,146 --> 00:17:29,463
Maybe you're not that good.
435
00:17:32,601 --> 00:17:33,617
Yet.
436
00:17:33,651 --> 00:17:34,818
Doesn't mean that
437
00:17:34,853 --> 00:17:36,453
with a little more experience,
you couldn't get there.
438
00:17:36,487 --> 00:17:37,721
All right, Just stop it.
All right?
439
00:17:37,756 --> 00:17:38,889
Now you've said
what you had to say.
440
00:17:38,924 --> 00:17:40,223
Now let me talk, all right?
441
00:17:43,277 --> 00:17:45,178
Well...
442
00:17:45,213 --> 00:17:48,082
When I was six years old,
Alex...
443
00:17:48,116 --> 00:17:50,317
my father died,
444
00:17:50,351 --> 00:17:52,585
and I never had
any older brothers.
445
00:17:52,620 --> 00:17:57,258
Had a couple of older sisters,
but, uh...
446
00:17:57,292 --> 00:17:58,625
till I met you
447
00:17:58,660 --> 00:18:01,662
I don't think there was
ever a man in my life
448
00:18:01,696 --> 00:18:03,597
that I felt was on my side.
449
00:18:03,631 --> 00:18:06,867
I mean, I had lots
of friends and everything,
450
00:18:06,901 --> 00:18:07,917
but I always felt
451
00:18:07,952 --> 00:18:10,420
there was something special
between you and me.
452
00:18:10,455 --> 00:18:13,757
And you
knew that, Alex.
453
00:18:13,792 --> 00:18:16,660
You knew how I...
how I looked up to you
454
00:18:16,694 --> 00:18:20,263
and respected you,
and counted on you.
455
00:18:20,298 --> 00:18:21,665
Oh, come on, Bobby...
456
00:18:21,699 --> 00:18:24,000
Please, just...
let me finish all right?
457
00:18:24,034 --> 00:18:27,821
What you just said just now--
458
00:18:27,855 --> 00:18:31,892
I mean, it would have been okay
coming from a friend,
459
00:18:31,926 --> 00:18:34,578
but not from somebody
I felt about
460
00:18:34,612 --> 00:18:37,230
the way I feel about you.
461
00:18:39,350 --> 00:18:41,635
I don't know
how to tell you, I...
462
00:18:41,670 --> 00:18:43,837
you just hurt
me now, Alex...
463
00:18:43,871 --> 00:18:45,939
Except to say that...
464
00:18:45,973 --> 00:18:48,309
it feels like, uh...
465
00:18:48,343 --> 00:18:52,012
like my father just died again.
466
00:18:52,046 --> 00:18:53,463
Oh, come on, Bobby.
467
00:18:53,498 --> 00:18:55,633
No, it's a little
late for that, man.
468
00:18:55,667 --> 00:18:57,601
I needed you
and you let me down.
469
00:18:57,636 --> 00:18:59,336
I needed you, Alex.
470
00:18:59,370 --> 00:19:01,154
Bobby, Alex is only
trying to...
471
00:19:01,189 --> 00:19:02,556
You stay out of
this, Elaine!
472
00:19:02,591 --> 00:19:05,292
It's between
Alex and me.
473
00:19:05,327 --> 00:19:06,993
There's only one thing
474
00:19:07,028 --> 00:19:09,629
that I want
from you right now, Alex.
475
00:19:09,664 --> 00:19:12,799
And that's for you
to get out of here.
476
00:19:12,833 --> 00:19:16,470
( voice breaking ):
I don't want to see you again.
477
00:19:16,504 --> 00:19:18,572
I don't want to talk to you.
478
00:19:18,606 --> 00:19:20,840
I don't want to know you, man!
479
00:19:20,875 --> 00:19:22,725
Bobby...
480
00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:24,111
All right, come on,
all right?
481
00:19:24,145 --> 00:19:25,412
Just get out, all right?!
482
00:19:25,447 --> 00:19:26,980
Just get the hell
out of here!
483
00:19:32,787 --> 00:19:36,357
You still say I'm
not such a good actor?
484
00:19:50,488 --> 00:19:52,690
Hey, that
was something.
485
00:19:52,724 --> 00:19:54,558
( laughing )
486
00:19:56,561 --> 00:19:59,429
You bastard.
487
00:20:05,286 --> 00:20:07,621
Now, baby, ring.
488
00:20:07,655 --> 00:20:10,490
Come on, ring.
489
00:20:10,524 --> 00:20:12,993
Blap. Blap.
490
00:20:17,498 --> 00:20:19,649
It's two minutes to 12:00,
Bobby.
491
00:20:19,684 --> 00:20:21,518
Yeah, I know what time it is,
Elaine,
492
00:20:21,552 --> 00:20:24,187
but please stop telling me
what time it is.
493
00:20:24,221 --> 00:20:25,922
I mean, it's going to ring
before midnight
494
00:20:25,956 --> 00:20:27,557
and then that's that, you know?
495
00:20:27,592 --> 00:20:30,110
I haven't said this yet,
but it's going to ring.
496
00:20:30,145 --> 00:20:31,979
Okay, now hold it down
497
00:20:32,013 --> 00:20:35,315
because it's, like,
only 40 seconds left.
498
00:20:35,349 --> 00:20:37,334
It's going to ring.
I just know it.
499
00:20:37,368 --> 00:20:38,902
It's going to ring.
500
00:20:44,325 --> 00:20:46,593
Maybe your watch is off.
501
00:20:46,628 --> 00:20:47,861
No.
502
00:20:47,895 --> 00:20:52,198
It has to be by my watch.
503
00:20:52,233 --> 00:20:54,434
Ten, nine,
504
00:20:54,468 --> 00:20:58,321
eight, seven, six,
505
00:20:58,356 --> 00:21:00,641
five, four,
506
00:21:00,675 --> 00:21:02,275
three,
507
00:21:02,309 --> 00:21:03,477
two,
508
00:21:03,511 --> 00:21:04,878
one,
509
00:21:04,912 --> 00:21:06,113
zero.
510
00:21:06,147 --> 00:21:07,297
Zero.
511
00:21:07,331 --> 00:21:08,748
Zero.
512
00:21:13,154 --> 00:21:14,654
Zero.
513
00:21:28,169 --> 00:21:32,639
I-I promised myself
that I'd quit acting...
514
00:21:32,673 --> 00:21:36,243
and get a job in three years.
515
00:21:36,277 --> 00:21:39,228
Well, it's...
it's been three years.
516
00:21:41,249 --> 00:21:42,615
Aw, what the hell.
517
00:21:42,650 --> 00:21:45,318
I'll give myself
another three years.
518
00:21:56,998 --> 00:21:58,532
MAN:
There he is.
519
00:21:58,566 --> 00:22:00,367
That's my dog.
520
00:22:00,401 --> 00:22:02,335
( clearing throat )
521
00:22:02,370 --> 00:22:03,570
Excuse me.
522
00:22:03,605 --> 00:22:05,238
Hamlet, come over here.
523
00:22:05,272 --> 00:22:06,507
( Hamlet growls )
524
00:22:06,541 --> 00:22:07,941
I'll teach you
to growl at me.
525
00:22:07,976 --> 00:22:08,976
Wait till I get you home!
526
00:22:09,010 --> 00:22:10,611
Officer, where
is this insane man
527
00:22:10,645 --> 00:22:11,712
going with my dog?
528
00:22:11,746 --> 00:22:12,813
Your dog?
529
00:22:12,847 --> 00:22:14,681
See, he admits it.
530
00:22:14,716 --> 00:22:16,850
Officer, this is my dog
and I'm taking him.
531
00:22:16,884 --> 00:22:19,619
Officer, this is my dog
and he's not going anywhere.
532
00:22:19,653 --> 00:22:21,471
Why don't you just
stand them at a distance
533
00:22:21,505 --> 00:22:22,639
and let them call the dog?
534
00:22:22,673 --> 00:22:24,942
Whichever one he goes
to gets the dog, right?
535
00:22:24,976 --> 00:22:26,609
This guy ought to run
for borough president.
536
00:22:26,644 --> 00:22:28,745
All right, Officer,
where do I stand?
537
00:22:28,779 --> 00:22:30,214
You stand over there.
Fine.
538
00:22:30,248 --> 00:22:31,581
Where do I stand?
539
00:22:31,616 --> 00:22:33,583
And you stand over there.
540
00:22:39,124 --> 00:22:40,858
Sit, boy.
541
00:22:40,892 --> 00:22:43,009
Now, when I say so,
542
00:22:43,043 --> 00:22:44,911
I want you both
to call the dog's name.
543
00:22:44,945 --> 00:22:46,613
And whichever one he goes to,
that's the dog's owner,
544
00:22:46,647 --> 00:22:48,047
and that's that, okay?
545
00:22:48,082 --> 00:22:48,715
Okay.
546
00:22:48,749 --> 00:22:49,800
Okay.
547
00:22:49,834 --> 00:22:50,934
Okay.
548
00:22:50,968 --> 00:22:52,335
Oh, one second.
549
00:23:00,912 --> 00:23:02,546
Huh?
550
00:23:05,567 --> 00:23:07,400
What was that all about?
551
00:23:07,435 --> 00:23:10,871
I just want to make sure
no one's carrying any meat.
552
00:23:14,292 --> 00:23:16,526
Okay, call the dog.
553
00:23:16,560 --> 00:23:17,527
Hamlet.
554
00:23:17,561 --> 00:23:18,528
Hamlet.
555
00:23:18,562 --> 00:23:19,529
Hamlet.
Hamlet, come here.
556
00:23:19,563 --> 00:23:20,563
Come over here,
Hamlet.
Come on, Hamlet.
557
00:23:20,598 --> 00:23:21,731
Hamlet.
Hamlet.
558
00:23:21,765 --> 00:23:23,049
Hamlet, come over here.
559
00:23:23,083 --> 00:23:24,051
Come over here!
560
00:23:24,169 --> 00:23:25,369
Hamlet, come over here!
561
00:23:25,403 --> 00:23:26,270
( muttering )
562
00:23:26,387 --> 00:23:27,587
Come over here!
563
00:23:27,621 --> 00:23:28,855
Wait till I get you.
564
00:23:28,890 --> 00:23:29,957
Come over here.
565
00:23:29,991 --> 00:23:31,792
You come over here!
566
00:23:31,826 --> 00:23:33,544
Come over here
when I tell you.
567
00:23:33,578 --> 00:23:34,711
Come over here.
568
00:23:34,745 --> 00:23:35,912
( all sighing )
569
00:23:35,946 --> 00:23:37,714
Well, I guess
that's that.
570
00:23:37,748 --> 00:23:39,349
Hey, man,
why would he do that?
571
00:23:39,384 --> 00:23:41,084
Go with the guy
that beats him?
572
00:23:41,118 --> 00:23:42,518
( growling )
573
00:23:42,553 --> 00:23:43,904
MAN:
It's his dog!
It's his dog!
574
00:23:43,938 --> 00:23:45,438
It's his dog!
575
00:23:53,097 --> 00:23:55,849
( theme music playing )
576
00:24:20,124 --> 00:24:21,825
WOMAN:
Night, Mr. Walters.
577
00:24:21,859 --> 00:24:23,026
( grunts )
43818
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