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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,454 --> 00:00:07,389 ( theme music playing ) 2 00:00:59,291 --> 00:01:01,492 MAN: Yo! Cab! 3 00:01:06,298 --> 00:01:09,200 Taxi! 4 00:01:32,491 --> 00:01:35,427 Where to? 5 00:01:36,979 --> 00:01:38,880 51st street, please. 6 00:01:38,915 --> 00:01:40,648 Oh, right. 7 00:01:45,188 --> 00:01:47,789 Do you mind the dog being in the cab, do you? 8 00:01:47,824 --> 00:01:50,758 No. He doesn't mind me being in it, does he? 9 00:01:50,793 --> 00:01:52,294 Don't worry about him. 10 00:01:52,328 --> 00:01:53,895 He's very well trained. 11 00:01:53,930 --> 00:01:55,197 He just got out of obedience school. 12 00:01:55,231 --> 00:01:56,364 I take him everywhere with me. 13 00:01:56,398 --> 00:01:58,366 I just won him in a poker game a few weeks back. 14 00:01:58,400 --> 00:01:59,600 It's a beautiful dog, isn't he? 15 00:01:59,635 --> 00:02:01,837 Yeah, he sure is beautiful. 16 00:02:01,871 --> 00:02:03,138 Name is Hamlet. 17 00:02:03,172 --> 00:02:05,740 You can probably guess why I call him Hamlet. 18 00:02:05,774 --> 00:02:08,993 Grew up in a small town? 19 00:02:09,027 --> 00:02:11,729 No. Because he's a Great Dane. 20 00:02:11,764 --> 00:02:15,516 You know, Hamlet, the Dane in the play. 21 00:02:15,551 --> 00:02:17,518 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 22 00:02:17,553 --> 00:02:19,620 Very intelligent dog, too. 23 00:02:19,655 --> 00:02:21,056 Watch, I'll show you. 24 00:02:21,090 --> 00:02:23,491 Speak, Hamlet. Speak. 25 00:02:26,162 --> 00:02:28,563 Come on, Hamlet, speak. 26 00:02:28,597 --> 00:02:30,598 Come on, Hamlet, speak. 27 00:02:30,632 --> 00:02:35,871 "O, what a rogue and peasant slave am I!" 28 00:02:35,905 --> 00:02:39,808 Come on, Hamlet, speak, you stupid dog. 29 00:02:39,842 --> 00:02:41,209 Come on, speak! 30 00:02:41,243 --> 00:02:43,078 That's okay. If he thinks of something to say later on 31 00:02:43,112 --> 00:02:44,979 he can call me. 32 00:02:48,417 --> 00:02:50,501 Uh, it's a buck 65. 33 00:02:50,536 --> 00:02:51,836 There you go. 34 00:02:51,870 --> 00:02:53,571 Ah, that's all right. 35 00:02:53,605 --> 00:02:54,839 Thank you. 36 00:02:54,873 --> 00:02:57,074 You know, he really is a very smart dog. 37 00:02:57,108 --> 00:02:58,843 I don't know what's wrong with him today. 38 00:02:58,877 --> 00:03:00,611 Hold out your hand, he'll give you his paw. 39 00:03:00,646 --> 00:03:02,246 Uh, no, I don't think I better. 40 00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:03,614 No, no, no. Come on, hold out your hand, 41 00:03:03,649 --> 00:03:05,115 he'll give you his paw. 42 00:03:05,150 --> 00:03:06,818 Give him your paw, Ham. 43 00:03:06,852 --> 00:03:09,053 I said paw, not floor. 44 00:03:09,087 --> 00:03:10,054 Ah, that's okay. 45 00:03:10,088 --> 00:03:11,188 No, it isn't okay. 46 00:03:11,223 --> 00:03:13,358 Get up from there, you stupid dog. 47 00:03:13,392 --> 00:03:14,892 Come on, get up from there! Hey, that's o... 48 00:03:14,926 --> 00:03:16,060 Hey, mister, what are you doing? 49 00:03:16,094 --> 00:03:17,928 Get up from there. Well, he's got to learn. Hey, what are... 50 00:03:17,963 --> 00:03:18,996 Get up from there. 51 00:03:19,030 --> 00:03:20,197 ( dog whimpers ) Hey, don't hit the dog. 52 00:03:20,232 --> 00:03:22,266 You-- It's my dog. I'll hit him if I want to. 53 00:03:22,301 --> 00:03:24,069 Get up from there you stupid dog. Come on, it's my cab. 54 00:03:24,103 --> 00:03:25,937 Don't hit the dog in my cab. I said, get up from there! 55 00:03:25,971 --> 00:03:27,438 Hey, mister, you hear what I said? When I tell you to get up 56 00:03:27,473 --> 00:03:28,839 Will you cut it out? get up from there. 57 00:03:28,874 --> 00:03:30,208 Hey, mister, will you cut that out? Get up from there, 58 00:03:30,242 --> 00:03:31,842 you stupid dog. Hey, give me that. Give me that. 59 00:03:31,877 --> 00:03:33,278 What...? Get out of my cab. 60 00:03:33,312 --> 00:03:34,279 Go on. Get out of here. 61 00:03:34,313 --> 00:03:36,381 All right. Come on, Hamlet. 62 00:03:36,415 --> 00:03:38,115 Hamlet, come out here! 63 00:03:38,150 --> 00:03:39,617 Come...! 64 00:03:39,652 --> 00:03:42,720 Hey, you got my dog in there! ( barking ) 65 00:03:42,754 --> 00:03:45,056 ( tires screeching ) 66 00:03:50,396 --> 00:03:52,130 ( brakes screeching ) 67 00:04:00,289 --> 00:04:03,124 Hi. It's Bobby Wheeler. 68 00:04:03,159 --> 00:04:04,459 Any messages? 69 00:04:04,493 --> 00:04:07,295 Well, a-are you sure? 70 00:04:07,329 --> 00:04:13,201 Yeah, okay, well, just check again, all right? 71 00:04:13,235 --> 00:04:15,336 O-okay. Now, listen. I'm down at the garage. 72 00:04:15,371 --> 00:04:17,738 If anybody calls, you give them the number. 73 00:04:17,773 --> 00:04:18,873 All right. 74 00:04:25,431 --> 00:04:27,064 Hey, what are you doing, man? 75 00:04:27,098 --> 00:04:28,566 Let me go, Tony. I got to hit something. 76 00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:29,351 Hey, what are you crazy? 77 00:04:29,385 --> 00:04:31,469 I can see you're upset, but, uh, don't hit that. 78 00:04:31,503 --> 00:04:32,770 You could really hurt yourself. 79 00:04:32,804 --> 00:04:33,555 Yeah, well, I don't care, man, 80 00:04:33,589 --> 00:04:34,739 'cause I got to hit something. 81 00:04:34,774 --> 00:04:36,074 All right, all right. Here. 82 00:04:36,108 --> 00:04:38,342 Hit me. Here, in the stomach. Go ahead. 83 00:04:38,377 --> 00:04:39,377 I can't do that. 84 00:04:39,495 --> 00:04:41,997 Come on, don't worry about it. I'm hard as a rock. 85 00:04:42,031 --> 00:04:43,331 I do 200 sit-ups a day. 86 00:04:43,366 --> 00:04:45,333 I go to the gym, guys hit me all the time. 87 00:04:45,368 --> 00:04:47,335 It's part of my training. Go ahead. Go ahead. 88 00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:48,536 You're sure now, right? 89 00:04:48,570 --> 00:04:50,038 Go ahead. Hard as you can. Go ahead. 90 00:04:50,856 --> 00:04:52,773 Oh, Tony! I'm sorry. 91 00:04:52,807 --> 00:04:55,209 Are you okay? 92 00:04:55,244 --> 00:04:56,644 I'm fine. I'm fine. 93 00:04:56,678 --> 00:05:00,148 Hey, listen, if it makes you feel any better, 94 00:05:00,182 --> 00:05:01,215 I feel great. 95 00:05:01,250 --> 00:05:03,584 Great. Anytime I can help. 96 00:05:03,618 --> 00:05:05,986 I'm really sorry. I'm really sorry, Tony. 97 00:05:06,021 --> 00:05:07,088 Hey, hey, John? 98 00:05:07,122 --> 00:05:08,689 John, don't use that phone, okay? 99 00:05:09,908 --> 00:05:12,126 John, I said don't use that phone! 100 00:05:18,467 --> 00:05:20,068 LOUIE: Hey, Bob. 101 00:05:20,102 --> 00:05:23,504 Is it all right if John uses the toilet? 102 00:05:23,539 --> 00:05:25,373 Just lay off, Louie, okay? 103 00:05:25,407 --> 00:05:27,875 I got a lot of things on my mind. 104 00:05:27,909 --> 00:05:29,243 Hi, boys. 105 00:05:29,278 --> 00:05:30,545 Hi, Alex. 106 00:05:30,579 --> 00:05:31,679 Hi. 107 00:05:31,713 --> 00:05:33,314 Hey, listen, um, could you do me a favor? 108 00:05:33,348 --> 00:05:35,266 Yeah? I'm expecting a call any minute, you know. 109 00:05:35,301 --> 00:05:36,734 And could you wait with me? 110 00:05:36,768 --> 00:05:38,436 'Cause I don't want to be alone when I get it. 111 00:05:38,470 --> 00:05:40,104 Yeah, sure. What kind of phone call? 112 00:05:40,139 --> 00:05:41,605 Well, you see... 113 00:05:41,640 --> 00:05:42,606 LATKA: Alex. Yo. 114 00:05:42,641 --> 00:05:45,460 I find... I find in your cab. 115 00:05:45,494 --> 00:05:46,694 Yeah, I know. 116 00:05:46,729 --> 00:05:49,130 Oh, my gosh. Look at him. 117 00:05:49,164 --> 00:05:50,965 Wow. Where'd you find him? 118 00:05:50,999 --> 00:05:52,083 I took him away from some guy in my cab. 119 00:05:52,117 --> 00:05:53,584 He was whipping him with his leash. 120 00:05:53,618 --> 00:05:55,970 Hey, you shouldn't do that, boy. You could hurt somebody. 121 00:05:56,004 --> 00:05:57,438 ALEX: Not him. 122 00:05:57,472 --> 00:05:59,140 Hey, Alex... 123 00:05:59,174 --> 00:06:00,141 He's so gorgeous. 124 00:06:00,175 --> 00:06:01,643 What's his name? 125 00:06:01,677 --> 00:06:02,310 Alex, you see, this phone call... 126 00:06:02,344 --> 00:06:03,828 His name is Hamlet. 127 00:06:03,862 --> 00:06:05,162 Are you going to him? 128 00:06:05,197 --> 00:06:05,947 Well, I guess so. 129 00:06:05,981 --> 00:06:07,565 Till I can find a better home for him. 130 00:06:07,599 --> 00:06:10,968 Hey, Latka, will you do me a favor and get Hamlet some water? 131 00:06:11,002 --> 00:06:13,821 Come on. Oh, I'm sorry, Bobby. 132 00:06:13,855 --> 00:06:16,257 Uh, you were telling me about this phone call. 133 00:06:16,291 --> 00:06:17,258 Yeah, it... Hey, so what's doing here? 134 00:06:17,292 --> 00:06:18,593 Are we getting breakfast or what? 135 00:06:18,627 --> 00:06:20,228 Hey, what's this phone call you're waiting for? 136 00:06:20,262 --> 00:06:22,630 It's about an acting job. 137 00:06:22,664 --> 00:06:23,481 Oh... 138 00:06:23,515 --> 00:06:24,582 Yeah, I'm up for the lead 139 00:06:24,616 --> 00:06:25,883 in an off-broadway play. 140 00:06:25,918 --> 00:06:27,251 That's something. All right! 141 00:06:27,285 --> 00:06:28,753 Yeah, but the thing is 142 00:06:28,787 --> 00:06:30,437 it's down between me and two other guys 143 00:06:30,472 --> 00:06:33,040 and they said they'd let me know this morning. So... 144 00:06:33,075 --> 00:06:34,425 Stuff like that's always happening to you. 145 00:06:34,459 --> 00:06:35,793 This is special? 146 00:06:35,828 --> 00:06:39,080 Yeah. See, that's why I wanted to talk to you, Alex. 147 00:06:39,114 --> 00:06:41,749 I've got this whole thing like, I... 148 00:06:43,618 --> 00:06:45,169 All right, all right. Everybody sit down. 149 00:06:45,204 --> 00:06:46,204 I'll tell you 150 00:06:49,808 --> 00:06:52,109 See, when I first came to New York... 151 00:06:52,143 --> 00:06:53,644 Where did you come from, Bobby? 152 00:06:53,679 --> 00:06:54,978 The Bronx. 153 00:06:57,699 --> 00:07:01,452 I made this deal with myself. 154 00:07:01,487 --> 00:07:03,554 I mean, I knew how there were thousands 155 00:07:03,589 --> 00:07:05,189 of starving actors here 156 00:07:05,223 --> 00:07:07,759 and how it's a rotten life and how very few make it 157 00:07:07,793 --> 00:07:10,395 and how you can get old trying, you know? 158 00:07:10,429 --> 00:07:12,380 So I gave myself a strict time limit. 159 00:07:12,414 --> 00:07:14,014 Three years. 160 00:07:14,049 --> 00:07:15,650 Three years to get started as an actor. 161 00:07:15,684 --> 00:07:17,918 Now, I promised myself, if in that amount of time 162 00:07:17,952 --> 00:07:19,720 if I didn't get a paid acting job 163 00:07:19,754 --> 00:07:22,590 I'd give it up, get a regular full-time job 164 00:07:22,624 --> 00:07:24,325 and never think about acting again. 165 00:07:24,359 --> 00:07:26,160 I mean a guy can't go on 166 00:07:26,194 --> 00:07:27,311 like I've been doing forever. 167 00:07:27,345 --> 00:07:29,346 You know, beating my brains out here six nights a week. 168 00:07:29,381 --> 00:07:31,783 Spending my days trying out for something that might not happen. 169 00:07:31,817 --> 00:07:33,550 I mean, there's got to be a limit. 170 00:07:33,585 --> 00:07:35,286 I figured three years. 171 00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:38,089 I mean, how could I not get a job in three years, you know? 172 00:07:41,860 --> 00:07:44,428 Three years are up today. 173 00:07:44,463 --> 00:07:46,964 I mean, my life is riding on this job, you know? 174 00:07:46,998 --> 00:07:49,267 I got to get this part, Alex. 175 00:07:49,301 --> 00:07:51,269 You see, that's-that's why I wanted you to be with me. 176 00:07:51,303 --> 00:07:52,470 Yeah, I know. Well, listen... 177 00:07:52,504 --> 00:07:55,105 'Cause you know how much I want to act. 178 00:07:55,140 --> 00:07:59,377 It's the only thing in the world that... 179 00:07:59,411 --> 00:08:01,612 that really matters to me. 180 00:08:01,647 --> 00:08:02,647 Yeah, I know... 181 00:08:02,681 --> 00:08:03,681 I mean, if they call up and they tell me 182 00:08:03,715 --> 00:08:05,283 that they're gonna pick one of those other guys, 183 00:08:05,317 --> 00:08:07,117 Alex, I don't know what I'm going to do. 184 00:08:07,152 --> 00:08:08,185 W-What are you going to do? 185 00:08:08,220 --> 00:08:10,054 So, they pick another guy. I mean, It's not the world, is it? 186 00:08:10,089 --> 00:08:12,824 MAN: All right, I want my dog. 187 00:08:12,858 --> 00:08:13,641 Where's my dog? 188 00:08:13,675 --> 00:08:15,059 I'll right back to you, Bobby. 189 00:08:15,093 --> 00:08:16,227 I got to deal with this guy first. 190 00:08:16,261 --> 00:08:18,462 Come on, where is he? Hamlet?! 191 00:08:18,496 --> 00:08:19,630 Hamlet?! 192 00:08:19,664 --> 00:08:20,865 Oh, there he is. 193 00:08:20,899 --> 00:08:22,416 Would you give me that dog, please? 194 00:08:22,450 --> 00:08:23,584 What dog? 195 00:08:23,618 --> 00:08:24,585 Well, that dog. 196 00:08:24,619 --> 00:08:25,753 That's my dog. 197 00:08:25,787 --> 00:08:28,189 I don't see any dog. What dog are you talking about? 198 00:08:28,223 --> 00:08:29,490 ELAINE: Yeah, I don't see any dog either. 199 00:08:29,524 --> 00:08:30,791 Dog? What dog? 200 00:08:30,825 --> 00:08:33,460 Hey, Fred, do you see a dog? What dog? 201 00:08:33,495 --> 00:08:34,862 There isn't any dog here. 202 00:08:34,897 --> 00:08:35,930 Oh, I get it. 203 00:08:35,964 --> 00:08:37,098 You guys are looking for trouble, huh? 204 00:08:37,132 --> 00:08:38,266 LOUIE: Hey! 205 00:08:38,300 --> 00:08:39,633 What's going on out here? 206 00:08:39,667 --> 00:08:41,569 Are you in charge here? 207 00:08:43,121 --> 00:08:45,455 Do old ladies get mugged? 208 00:08:47,292 --> 00:08:52,362 Well, that dog is my dog, and I want him now. 209 00:08:52,397 --> 00:08:55,032 Hey, Louie, we don't know what this guy's talking about. 210 00:08:55,067 --> 00:08:57,301 You don't see no dog here, do ya? 211 00:08:57,336 --> 00:09:01,105 Uh... yeah... I got something in my eyes. 212 00:09:01,140 --> 00:09:02,407 I can't see anything. 213 00:09:02,441 --> 00:09:04,742 I can't see if there's a dog here or not. 214 00:09:04,776 --> 00:09:05,843 Anybody got a dollar bill 215 00:09:05,877 --> 00:09:08,812 I could wipe the sweat out of my eyes? 216 00:09:08,847 --> 00:09:10,881 ALEX: Here, Louie. 217 00:09:10,916 --> 00:09:15,052 There's no dog here, mister. 218 00:09:15,086 --> 00:09:17,755 You guys think you're pretty cute, don't you? 219 00:09:17,789 --> 00:09:19,723 Well, you'd better give me that dog 220 00:09:19,758 --> 00:09:21,392 and you'd better give him to me right now, 221 00:09:21,426 --> 00:09:22,659 because if you don't, 222 00:09:22,694 --> 00:09:25,029 I'm going straight from here to the police. 223 00:09:25,063 --> 00:09:25,712 Oh... 224 00:09:25,747 --> 00:09:26,797 Now, does anybody want 225 00:09:26,832 --> 00:09:28,132 to talk to me about that or not? 226 00:09:28,166 --> 00:09:29,651 Sure, you want somebody to talk to you? 227 00:09:29,685 --> 00:09:30,885 MAN: Yeah. Latka. 228 00:09:34,907 --> 00:09:36,607 Hi. 229 00:09:36,641 --> 00:09:41,912 ( speaking native language ) 230 00:09:44,683 --> 00:09:46,150 Go, Latka! 231 00:09:46,185 --> 00:09:48,619 ( phone ringing ) 232 00:09:57,129 --> 00:09:58,429 Hi. 233 00:09:58,464 --> 00:09:59,763 Yeah, yeah. 234 00:09:59,798 --> 00:10:01,466 This is Bobby Wheeler. 235 00:10:04,470 --> 00:10:07,771 Uh, no, uh... that's okay, you know. 236 00:10:07,806 --> 00:10:12,477 Right. I-I-I, uh... I appreciate the call, really. 237 00:10:14,813 --> 00:10:16,680 ( sighing ) 238 00:10:27,659 --> 00:10:30,661 I didn't get the part, Hamlet. 239 00:10:41,189 --> 00:10:43,641 Here are my bookings, Louie. 240 00:10:43,675 --> 00:10:45,143 ( barking ) 241 00:10:45,177 --> 00:10:46,644 ( laughing ) 242 00:10:46,678 --> 00:10:48,646 That's a good Hamlet. 243 00:10:48,680 --> 00:10:49,814 That's good, Hamlet. 244 00:10:49,848 --> 00:10:50,848 Hey, Louie... Louie... 245 00:10:50,883 --> 00:10:52,016 for God's sake, man, it's my turn. 246 00:10:52,050 --> 00:10:53,084 Let me have him, huh? 247 00:10:53,118 --> 00:10:55,469 All right, All right. 248 00:10:55,503 --> 00:10:57,504 I'll let you have him, 249 00:10:57,539 --> 00:11:00,074 but only 'cause your dreams are crashing around you. 250 00:11:00,109 --> 00:11:01,508 Thanks. 251 00:11:01,543 --> 00:11:02,843 Good boy. 252 00:11:02,877 --> 00:11:04,378 Good boy. Yeah. 253 00:11:04,413 --> 00:11:08,015 ( groans ) 254 00:11:08,050 --> 00:11:10,584 Hey, Bobby, listen, don't worry about it. 255 00:11:10,618 --> 00:11:12,920 Everything's going to be okay. 256 00:11:12,954 --> 00:11:15,423 Will you stop talking to him like that, Elaine? 257 00:11:15,457 --> 00:11:17,324 How is everything be okay? 258 00:11:17,359 --> 00:11:18,742 Look, I don't know much about acting, 259 00:11:18,776 --> 00:11:20,677 but what I do know is, if you want a good job 260 00:11:20,712 --> 00:11:23,180 you got to go stand in line. 261 00:11:23,215 --> 00:11:26,116 If you want to find a good job acting, find a line to stand in. 262 00:11:27,252 --> 00:11:28,652 Bobby, you're not going to get anywhere 263 00:11:28,686 --> 00:11:30,187 sitting here feeling sorry for yourself. 264 00:11:31,789 --> 00:11:34,258 BOBBY: Damn it, Alex, you're right. 265 00:11:34,292 --> 00:11:36,360 There's still 14 hours to go before midnight. 266 00:11:36,394 --> 00:11:39,429 I'm gonna knock on every door in New York if I have to. 267 00:11:39,464 --> 00:11:40,797 I don't care what it is-- 268 00:11:40,832 --> 00:11:43,200 bit part, commercial, walk-on-- 269 00:11:43,235 --> 00:11:45,202 but I'm going to get something. 270 00:11:49,425 --> 00:11:50,391 Hi, Tom. 271 00:11:50,426 --> 00:11:51,392 Hi, Bobby. 272 00:11:51,427 --> 00:11:52,693 Oh, gee, thanks a lot. 273 00:11:52,728 --> 00:11:54,445 I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. Really. 274 00:11:54,479 --> 00:11:55,412 Oh, don't mention it. 275 00:11:55,446 --> 00:11:56,497 Now, it's just a lucky thing 276 00:11:56,531 --> 00:11:57,965 that you happened to come by today. Yeah. 277 00:11:57,999 --> 00:11:59,967 Now, look, Bobby, you do understand that the director 278 00:12:00,001 --> 00:12:01,902 is doing the casting on the commercial. 279 00:12:01,936 --> 00:12:03,404 I can't influence him for you. 280 00:12:03,438 --> 00:12:04,755 Yeah, of course, but, you know, 281 00:12:04,789 --> 00:12:07,725 any tips on how I might be able to catch his eye? 282 00:12:07,759 --> 00:12:10,311 Just, uh, be yourself. 283 00:12:10,345 --> 00:12:12,113 I better go rehearse a little. Okay. 284 00:12:20,088 --> 00:12:21,689 MAN: Tom? 285 00:12:30,899 --> 00:12:32,599 Tom, okay, I'm ready. 286 00:12:32,634 --> 00:12:34,468 Everybody, everybody, 287 00:12:34,502 --> 00:12:36,137 this is Peter Nicholson our director. 288 00:12:36,171 --> 00:12:37,371 Thank you. 289 00:12:37,405 --> 00:12:38,505 Okay, now, I'm sure you're all familiar 290 00:12:38,540 --> 00:12:39,840 with this commercial. 291 00:12:39,875 --> 00:12:42,009 I'd like Tom over here. Yeah. 292 00:12:42,044 --> 00:12:44,779 And I'd like you all to form a loose semicircle behind him 293 00:12:44,813 --> 00:12:46,647 with your backs towards him, please. 294 00:12:46,682 --> 00:12:47,648 Okay? 295 00:12:47,683 --> 00:12:49,150 Now I will cue Tom 296 00:12:49,184 --> 00:12:52,653 and I want you to react naturally for me, okay? 297 00:12:52,688 --> 00:12:54,789 And... Tom. 298 00:12:54,823 --> 00:12:59,193 "My broker is EF Hutton, and EF Hutton says... " 299 00:13:02,531 --> 00:13:03,964 PETER: Great! 300 00:13:03,998 --> 00:13:04,649 Okay, thank you. 301 00:13:04,683 --> 00:13:06,300 We'll be in touch. 302 00:13:10,839 --> 00:13:12,006 Thank you. 303 00:13:13,041 --> 00:13:16,010 Uh... Tom, h-how did I do? 304 00:13:16,044 --> 00:13:18,746 You did fine, just fine, Bobby, really. 305 00:13:18,780 --> 00:13:20,681 You, uh, think I got a shot? 306 00:13:20,715 --> 00:13:22,616 Yeah, you got a shot! 307 00:13:22,650 --> 00:13:24,385 Gees, thanks, Tom. 308 00:13:46,324 --> 00:13:47,724 ( chimes tinkling ) 309 00:13:47,759 --> 00:13:48,725 I'll be right there in a minute. 310 00:13:48,760 --> 00:13:50,194 I'll be right there, right there. 311 00:13:50,228 --> 00:13:51,695 ( chimes tinkling ) 312 00:13:51,729 --> 00:13:53,531 All right, coming, coming. 313 00:13:53,565 --> 00:13:55,032 Hey, come on in. 314 00:13:55,066 --> 00:13:56,534 Hey, did you get the commercial? 315 00:13:56,568 --> 00:13:58,035 Hey, did you get your commercial? 316 00:13:58,069 --> 00:13:59,537 Just wait a minute. 317 00:13:59,571 --> 00:14:01,972 Are you going to tell us or not? 318 00:14:02,006 --> 00:14:03,974 Well, wait till everybody's inside. 319 00:14:04,008 --> 00:14:06,343 ELAINE: Did you get it? 320 00:14:06,378 --> 00:14:07,578 I didn't get it! 321 00:14:07,612 --> 00:14:08,512 ( all cheering ) 322 00:14:08,547 --> 00:14:09,430 What? 323 00:14:09,464 --> 00:14:11,015 What? 324 00:14:11,049 --> 00:14:12,983 So what are we celebrating, then? 325 00:14:13,018 --> 00:14:13,868 Oh. Well... 326 00:14:13,986 --> 00:14:15,453 My first acting job. 327 00:14:15,487 --> 00:14:17,321 Oh... 328 00:14:17,356 --> 00:14:18,989 You got your first acting job? 329 00:14:19,024 --> 00:14:20,124 Not yet! 330 00:14:20,158 --> 00:14:21,692 Yay! Yay! Yay! 331 00:14:21,726 --> 00:14:23,194 What? 332 00:14:23,228 --> 00:14:25,930 What is this, some kind of a new party game here? 333 00:14:25,964 --> 00:14:28,365 Hey, it's okay that I didn't get a job, 334 00:14:28,399 --> 00:14:30,267 because I'm going to get one. 335 00:14:30,302 --> 00:14:31,335 ( cheering ) 336 00:14:31,369 --> 00:14:32,436 Wait a minute. Are you sure? 337 00:14:32,470 --> 00:14:33,938 Oh, positive. 338 00:14:33,972 --> 00:14:34,739 ( soft cheering ) 339 00:14:34,773 --> 00:14:37,758 And it's gonna be before midnight tonight. 340 00:14:37,792 --> 00:14:39,076 Come on, I'll tell you all about it. 341 00:14:39,110 --> 00:14:40,177 Let's everybody have a drink. 342 00:14:40,211 --> 00:14:41,379 Yeah, let's have a drink. 343 00:14:41,413 --> 00:14:43,213 Hey, Latka, come on. Let's go. Come on, come on. 344 00:14:43,248 --> 00:14:44,615 ( mumbling ) 345 00:14:44,649 --> 00:14:46,484 Okay, all right, somebody make a toast 346 00:14:46,518 --> 00:14:48,085 and we're set. Okay, um... 347 00:14:48,119 --> 00:14:49,369 Toast, toast. 348 00:14:49,404 --> 00:14:50,638 Eh... 349 00:14:50,672 --> 00:14:55,910 ( speaking native language ) 350 00:14:55,944 --> 00:14:57,728 No, no. 351 00:14:57,762 --> 00:15:00,047 Everybody must do toast. 352 00:15:01,382 --> 00:15:04,251 ( all speaking native language ) 353 00:15:04,286 --> 00:15:06,086 No, no, no, no. 354 00:15:06,120 --> 00:15:08,138 ( speaking native language ) 355 00:15:08,173 --> 00:15:09,973 ( all repeating ) 356 00:15:10,008 --> 00:15:11,425 No, no, no. 357 00:15:11,459 --> 00:15:13,060 ( changing words ) 358 00:15:13,095 --> 00:15:16,396 Latka, if you don't mind, I'll make the toast. 359 00:15:17,715 --> 00:15:19,099 To Bobby's new job. 360 00:15:19,134 --> 00:15:20,300 Hear, hear. 361 00:15:20,335 --> 00:15:22,102 Ni-nice toast. 362 00:15:23,538 --> 00:15:25,939 Okay, come on, come on. Everybody, sit down. 363 00:15:25,973 --> 00:15:28,058 Yeah, come on. Okay. 364 00:15:28,092 --> 00:15:30,360 ELAINE: Well, Bobby, why don't you just tell us 365 00:15:30,395 --> 00:15:31,595 about the job you're going to get. 366 00:15:31,630 --> 00:15:33,297 Oh, well... 367 00:15:33,331 --> 00:15:36,033 When I found out I didn't get the commercial this morning 368 00:15:36,067 --> 00:15:37,301 I really started hustling. 369 00:15:37,335 --> 00:15:39,503 I went into every casting office in this town. 370 00:15:39,538 --> 00:15:41,271 Some guys even had me read for parts, you know? 371 00:15:41,306 --> 00:15:44,074 And that's pretty good when you're going in cold, you know. 372 00:15:44,108 --> 00:15:45,309 Yeah, I'll say. 373 00:15:45,343 --> 00:15:46,143 Who am I kidding? 374 00:15:46,177 --> 00:15:47,828 That's great when you're going in cold! 375 00:15:47,862 --> 00:15:50,030 And some of them even told me that I was in the running. 376 00:15:50,064 --> 00:15:52,132 So one of them should come through, right? 377 00:15:52,166 --> 00:15:53,817 Sure. 378 00:15:53,851 --> 00:15:55,836 I'm gonna get a call on my phone before midnight tonight 379 00:15:55,870 --> 00:15:57,504 when the three years are up, 380 00:15:57,538 --> 00:15:59,372 and I'm not going to have to give up acting. 381 00:15:59,407 --> 00:16:01,809 Oh, you know, it's just so great 382 00:16:01,843 --> 00:16:03,276 when you know it in your heart, man. 383 00:16:03,311 --> 00:16:04,912 You don't have to sweat it anymore. 384 00:16:04,946 --> 00:16:06,497 ( soft agreements ) 385 00:16:06,531 --> 00:16:07,915 Well, maybe somebody is going to call you, Bobby, 386 00:16:07,949 --> 00:16:10,050 but how do you know they're gonna call before midnight? 387 00:16:10,085 --> 00:16:11,635 Well, that's simple logic. 388 00:16:11,669 --> 00:16:14,271 You see, when you're good at something 389 00:16:14,306 --> 00:16:17,141 you end up doing it. 390 00:16:17,175 --> 00:16:18,508 Now, I'm not going to end up acting 391 00:16:18,543 --> 00:16:21,178 unless I get a phone call before midnight. So... 392 00:16:21,212 --> 00:16:22,897 I'm gonna get a call before midnight. 393 00:16:26,234 --> 00:16:27,500 Isn't it wonderful? 394 00:16:27,535 --> 00:16:31,155 I mean, so what if he doesn't get a call tonight? 395 00:16:31,189 --> 00:16:32,489 He's feeling really great right now. 396 00:16:32,523 --> 00:16:34,825 Yeah. So what if you're falling off the cliff? 397 00:16:34,859 --> 00:16:36,927 The view is wonderful on the way down. 398 00:16:36,962 --> 00:16:38,262 What does that mean? 399 00:16:38,296 --> 00:16:39,596 Somebody better tell this guy 400 00:16:39,630 --> 00:16:41,765 that he's setting himself up for too big a fall. 401 00:16:41,799 --> 00:16:42,967 Alex, don't. 402 00:16:43,001 --> 00:16:44,568 Sure. We all leave here at 11:59 403 00:16:44,602 --> 00:16:45,836 with a song in our heart, 404 00:16:45,870 --> 00:16:47,471 and hope we don't hear the thud. 405 00:16:47,505 --> 00:16:48,805 I just don't think it's appropriate 406 00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:49,940 right now. 407 00:16:49,974 --> 00:16:52,276 Hey, uh, what are you guys talking about? 408 00:16:52,310 --> 00:16:53,677 Nothing. Alex is just getting a little nervous. 409 00:16:53,711 --> 00:16:55,445 Now come on, Elaine. I got to tell him what I'm thinking. 410 00:16:55,479 --> 00:16:56,579 I'm his friend. 411 00:16:56,614 --> 00:16:57,580 Hey, don't worry, Alex. 412 00:16:57,615 --> 00:16:58,615 I just explained to you 413 00:16:58,649 --> 00:17:00,918 why I'm gonna get the call before midnight, right? 414 00:17:00,952 --> 00:17:01,685 Yeah, yeah, I know-- 415 00:17:01,720 --> 00:17:03,170 because you're so good at acting. 416 00:17:03,204 --> 00:17:04,221 Exactly. 417 00:17:04,255 --> 00:17:05,789 Great actors get jobs. 418 00:17:05,823 --> 00:17:07,157 I'm a great actor. 419 00:17:07,192 --> 00:17:09,526 Bobby, we got to be rational here. 420 00:17:09,561 --> 00:17:10,561 I am being rational. 421 00:17:10,595 --> 00:17:11,662 I'm good. 422 00:17:11,696 --> 00:17:14,030 Good people do what they're good at and I'm good. 423 00:17:14,065 --> 00:17:14,682 Bobby... 424 00:17:14,716 --> 00:17:15,849 I got to act, Alex, 425 00:17:15,884 --> 00:17:17,050 because I'm good. 426 00:17:17,085 --> 00:17:18,085 Bobby, listen... 427 00:17:18,119 --> 00:17:19,253 I'm good! 428 00:17:19,287 --> 00:17:20,821 Look, just because someone doesn't call you 429 00:17:20,855 --> 00:17:22,089 by midnight doesn't mean... 430 00:17:22,123 --> 00:17:23,707 The only way that phone's not gonna ring 431 00:17:23,741 --> 00:17:24,808 before midnight, Alex, 432 00:17:24,842 --> 00:17:26,443 is if I'm not good enough. 433 00:17:26,478 --> 00:17:28,112 And you're not going to tell me... 434 00:17:28,146 --> 00:17:29,463 Maybe you're not that good. 435 00:17:32,601 --> 00:17:33,617 Yet. 436 00:17:33,651 --> 00:17:34,818 Doesn't mean that 437 00:17:34,853 --> 00:17:36,453 with a little more experience, you couldn't get there. 438 00:17:36,487 --> 00:17:37,721 All right, Just stop it. All right? 439 00:17:37,756 --> 00:17:38,889 Now you've said what you had to say. 440 00:17:38,924 --> 00:17:40,223 Now let me talk, all right? 441 00:17:43,277 --> 00:17:45,178 Well... 442 00:17:45,213 --> 00:17:48,082 When I was six years old, Alex... 443 00:17:48,116 --> 00:17:50,317 my father died, 444 00:17:50,351 --> 00:17:52,585 and I never had any older brothers. 445 00:17:52,620 --> 00:17:57,258 Had a couple of older sisters, but, uh... 446 00:17:57,292 --> 00:17:58,625 till I met you 447 00:17:58,660 --> 00:18:01,662 I don't think there was ever a man in my life 448 00:18:01,696 --> 00:18:03,597 that I felt was on my side. 449 00:18:03,631 --> 00:18:06,867 I mean, I had lots of friends and everything, 450 00:18:06,901 --> 00:18:07,917 but I always felt 451 00:18:07,952 --> 00:18:10,420 there was something special between you and me. 452 00:18:10,455 --> 00:18:13,757 And you knew that, Alex. 453 00:18:13,792 --> 00:18:16,660 You knew how I... how I looked up to you 454 00:18:16,694 --> 00:18:20,263 and respected you, and counted on you. 455 00:18:20,298 --> 00:18:21,665 Oh, come on, Bobby... 456 00:18:21,699 --> 00:18:24,000 Please, just... let me finish all right? 457 00:18:24,034 --> 00:18:27,821 What you just said just now-- 458 00:18:27,855 --> 00:18:31,892 I mean, it would have been okay coming from a friend, 459 00:18:31,926 --> 00:18:34,578 but not from somebody I felt about 460 00:18:34,612 --> 00:18:37,230 the way I feel about you. 461 00:18:39,350 --> 00:18:41,635 I don't know how to tell you, I... 462 00:18:41,670 --> 00:18:43,837 you just hurt me now, Alex... 463 00:18:43,871 --> 00:18:45,939 Except to say that... 464 00:18:45,973 --> 00:18:48,309 it feels like, uh... 465 00:18:48,343 --> 00:18:52,012 like my father just died again. 466 00:18:52,046 --> 00:18:53,463 Oh, come on, Bobby. 467 00:18:53,498 --> 00:18:55,633 No, it's a little late for that, man. 468 00:18:55,667 --> 00:18:57,601 I needed you and you let me down. 469 00:18:57,636 --> 00:18:59,336 I needed you, Alex. 470 00:18:59,370 --> 00:19:01,154 Bobby, Alex is only trying to... 471 00:19:01,189 --> 00:19:02,556 You stay out of this, Elaine! 472 00:19:02,591 --> 00:19:05,292 It's between Alex and me. 473 00:19:05,327 --> 00:19:06,993 There's only one thing 474 00:19:07,028 --> 00:19:09,629 that I want from you right now, Alex. 475 00:19:09,664 --> 00:19:12,799 And that's for you to get out of here. 476 00:19:12,833 --> 00:19:16,470 ( voice breaking ): I don't want to see you again. 477 00:19:16,504 --> 00:19:18,572 I don't want to talk to you. 478 00:19:18,606 --> 00:19:20,840 I don't want to know you, man! 479 00:19:20,875 --> 00:19:22,725 Bobby... 480 00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:24,111 All right, come on, all right? 481 00:19:24,145 --> 00:19:25,412 Just get out, all right?! 482 00:19:25,447 --> 00:19:26,980 Just get the hell out of here! 483 00:19:32,787 --> 00:19:36,357 You still say I'm not such a good actor? 484 00:19:50,488 --> 00:19:52,690 Hey, that was something. 485 00:19:52,724 --> 00:19:54,558 ( laughing ) 486 00:19:56,561 --> 00:19:59,429 You bastard. 487 00:20:05,286 --> 00:20:07,621 Now, baby, ring. 488 00:20:07,655 --> 00:20:10,490 Come on, ring. 489 00:20:10,524 --> 00:20:12,993 Blap. Blap. 490 00:20:17,498 --> 00:20:19,649 It's two minutes to 12:00, Bobby. 491 00:20:19,684 --> 00:20:21,518 Yeah, I know what time it is, Elaine, 492 00:20:21,552 --> 00:20:24,187 but please stop telling me what time it is. 493 00:20:24,221 --> 00:20:25,922 I mean, it's going to ring before midnight 494 00:20:25,956 --> 00:20:27,557 and then that's that, you know? 495 00:20:27,592 --> 00:20:30,110 I haven't said this yet, but it's going to ring. 496 00:20:30,145 --> 00:20:31,979 Okay, now hold it down 497 00:20:32,013 --> 00:20:35,315 because it's, like, only 40 seconds left. 498 00:20:35,349 --> 00:20:37,334 It's going to ring. I just know it. 499 00:20:37,368 --> 00:20:38,902 It's going to ring. 500 00:20:44,325 --> 00:20:46,593 Maybe your watch is off. 501 00:20:46,628 --> 00:20:47,861 No. 502 00:20:47,895 --> 00:20:52,198 It has to be by my watch. 503 00:20:52,233 --> 00:20:54,434 Ten, nine, 504 00:20:54,468 --> 00:20:58,321 eight, seven, six, 505 00:20:58,356 --> 00:21:00,641 five, four, 506 00:21:00,675 --> 00:21:02,275 three, 507 00:21:02,309 --> 00:21:03,477 two, 508 00:21:03,511 --> 00:21:04,878 one, 509 00:21:04,912 --> 00:21:06,113 zero. 510 00:21:06,147 --> 00:21:07,297 Zero. 511 00:21:07,331 --> 00:21:08,748 Zero. 512 00:21:13,154 --> 00:21:14,654 Zero. 513 00:21:28,169 --> 00:21:32,639 I-I promised myself that I'd quit acting... 514 00:21:32,673 --> 00:21:36,243 and get a job in three years. 515 00:21:36,277 --> 00:21:39,228 Well, it's... it's been three years. 516 00:21:41,249 --> 00:21:42,615 Aw, what the hell. 517 00:21:42,650 --> 00:21:45,318 I'll give myself another three years. 518 00:21:56,998 --> 00:21:58,532 MAN: There he is. 519 00:21:58,566 --> 00:22:00,367 That's my dog. 520 00:22:00,401 --> 00:22:02,335 ( clearing throat ) 521 00:22:02,370 --> 00:22:03,570 Excuse me. 522 00:22:03,605 --> 00:22:05,238 Hamlet, come over here. 523 00:22:05,272 --> 00:22:06,507 ( Hamlet growls ) 524 00:22:06,541 --> 00:22:07,941 I'll teach you to growl at me. 525 00:22:07,976 --> 00:22:08,976 Wait till I get you home! 526 00:22:09,010 --> 00:22:10,611 Officer, where is this insane man 527 00:22:10,645 --> 00:22:11,712 going with my dog? 528 00:22:11,746 --> 00:22:12,813 Your dog? 529 00:22:12,847 --> 00:22:14,681 See, he admits it. 530 00:22:14,716 --> 00:22:16,850 Officer, this is my dog and I'm taking him. 531 00:22:16,884 --> 00:22:19,619 Officer, this is my dog and he's not going anywhere. 532 00:22:19,653 --> 00:22:21,471 Why don't you just stand them at a distance 533 00:22:21,505 --> 00:22:22,639 and let them call the dog? 534 00:22:22,673 --> 00:22:24,942 Whichever one he goes to gets the dog, right? 535 00:22:24,976 --> 00:22:26,609 This guy ought to run for borough president. 536 00:22:26,644 --> 00:22:28,745 All right, Officer, where do I stand? 537 00:22:28,779 --> 00:22:30,214 You stand over there. Fine. 538 00:22:30,248 --> 00:22:31,581 Where do I stand? 539 00:22:31,616 --> 00:22:33,583 And you stand over there. 540 00:22:39,124 --> 00:22:40,858 Sit, boy. 541 00:22:40,892 --> 00:22:43,009 Now, when I say so, 542 00:22:43,043 --> 00:22:44,911 I want you both to call the dog's name. 543 00:22:44,945 --> 00:22:46,613 And whichever one he goes to, that's the dog's owner, 544 00:22:46,647 --> 00:22:48,047 and that's that, okay? 545 00:22:48,082 --> 00:22:48,715 Okay. 546 00:22:48,749 --> 00:22:49,800 Okay. 547 00:22:49,834 --> 00:22:50,934 Okay. 548 00:22:50,968 --> 00:22:52,335 Oh, one second. 549 00:23:00,912 --> 00:23:02,546 Huh? 550 00:23:05,567 --> 00:23:07,400 What was that all about? 551 00:23:07,435 --> 00:23:10,871 I just want to make sure no one's carrying any meat. 552 00:23:14,292 --> 00:23:16,526 Okay, call the dog. 553 00:23:16,560 --> 00:23:17,527 Hamlet. 554 00:23:17,561 --> 00:23:18,528 Hamlet. 555 00:23:18,562 --> 00:23:19,529 Hamlet. Hamlet, come here. 556 00:23:19,563 --> 00:23:20,563 Come over here, Hamlet. Come on, Hamlet. 557 00:23:20,598 --> 00:23:21,731 Hamlet. Hamlet. 558 00:23:21,765 --> 00:23:23,049 Hamlet, come over here. 559 00:23:23,083 --> 00:23:24,051 Come over here! 560 00:23:24,169 --> 00:23:25,369 Hamlet, come over here! 561 00:23:25,403 --> 00:23:26,270 ( muttering ) 562 00:23:26,387 --> 00:23:27,587 Come over here! 563 00:23:27,621 --> 00:23:28,855 Wait till I get you. 564 00:23:28,890 --> 00:23:29,957 Come over here. 565 00:23:29,991 --> 00:23:31,792 You come over here! 566 00:23:31,826 --> 00:23:33,544 Come over here when I tell you. 567 00:23:33,578 --> 00:23:34,711 Come over here. 568 00:23:34,745 --> 00:23:35,912 ( all sighing ) 569 00:23:35,946 --> 00:23:37,714 Well, I guess that's that. 570 00:23:37,748 --> 00:23:39,349 Hey, man, why would he do that? 571 00:23:39,384 --> 00:23:41,084 Go with the guy that beats him? 572 00:23:41,118 --> 00:23:42,518 ( growling ) 573 00:23:42,553 --> 00:23:43,904 MAN: It's his dog! It's his dog! 574 00:23:43,938 --> 00:23:45,438 It's his dog! 575 00:23:53,097 --> 00:23:55,849 ( theme music playing ) 576 00:24:20,124 --> 00:24:21,825 WOMAN: Night, Mr. Walters. 577 00:24:21,859 --> 00:24:23,026 ( grunts ) 43818

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